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This programme contains adult
humour
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Oi! You know the rules. Huh!
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Ooh, careful! You might not be able
to fit into your,
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I'm going to say, wedding tracksuit?
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00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:19,960
Ah, yeah, do you still want
a plus-one to the wedding?
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00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,160
I say this with love,
but even if there was someone
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important in my life, I would walk
backwards over hot coals
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to make sure they never, ever
meet your uncle Pat.
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You've met my auntie Pat.
Oh, my God.
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You never know, you might meet
someone special at the wedding.
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Ooh, I do love an Italian stallion.
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00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,520
Ah, about the destination wedding,
I couldn't afford it.
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00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:38,920
So instead, I've booked this
beautiful authentic Italian
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restaurant. They've got beautiful
wines, anti-pasties, the lot.
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It's called...
IN ITALIAN ACCENT: ..Allbarone.
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Ooh, ciao, Bella!
But I don't know her.
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00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:48,720
Oh, you'll love it, mate.
It's right opposite the station.
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It's got loads of stalls.
Mitchell, that's All Bar One!
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No, no, no, no, no. This is an
Allbarone... Shit!
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They put all the words close
together on the website!
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They shouldn't be allowed
to do that.
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Please tell me
Kylie has not consented to this.
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Kayleigh and, no, I booked it as a
surprise. I was going to show her
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around the venue tomorrow night.
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Have you still got time
to change it?
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I blew the rest of the budget
on a real-life Italian singer...
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IN ITALIAN ACCENT: ..Anthony Costa.
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Mitchell, the wedding is next month!
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What am I going to do?
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Allbarone took my deposit and
Anthony Costa charged me five grand.
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Oh, my God, this is a wake-up call.
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I really need to grow up.
You really do.
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CROWD: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
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Sweet! Argh!
BOTH: Fight! Fight! Fight!
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ALL: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
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Woo! I'm Lucci! I love it!
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Roaring up to the socials, let's go!
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Yeah! Yeah!
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Oh, my God, it's Warren!
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CROWD CHANT: Lucci! Lucci! Lucci!
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Do something then, sir!
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Warren, play dead.
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HE GROANS
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My wee little heart!
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COUGHS WEAKLY, BREATHES HEAVILY
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Ha! Stay down, you muppet!
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Let me get a...
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ALL: Oooooooooooooh!
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CHEERING
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You monsters! That's recycling!
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Got to get your protein in after
a good tear up.
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Shake-Eel is the shit! Mm!
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COUGHS
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Like and subscribe, bitches!
4K, all day. Peace! Woo!
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Gentlemen. Right, listen here,
you... Oh! Cheers, sir. Woo!
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Warren, you can stop playing
dead now.
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Oh, not another one.
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And scene!
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WARREN GRUNTS
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Thank God for that.
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Urgh! Ooh! That is minging!
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SCREAMS, GRUNTS
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Oh, my God!
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Harrison, get the first aid kit.
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Oh, Warren!
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You puked on my Loubs! Ow!
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MUMBLES
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Murder.
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I didn't catch a word of that.
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Oh, she said that little scrote put
superglue in her lipstick.
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Warren, that is quality!
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Not Warren, Lucci Bantz. Warren was
sticking up for Usma.
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CLICKS FINGERS
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Loubs!
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Warren picked a fight with
that unit? Who is he anyway?
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You should know him, he's in your
form. I don't bother with that lot. They've got no banter.
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But, bro, he's got
200,000 followers.
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He broke the internet by pranking
his parents, at his own funeral.
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What's uuuuuuuup?!
Lucci doesn't die!
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You should know this! What's up?
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Miss, look, you're being filmed!
Filmed! There's a camera there,
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this is going to get millions of
views. Old sad woman.
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I'm proud of you, Warren. Would have
put big money on you
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00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,920
going down sooner.
You put up a good fight.
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Jinx, shut up a minute,
I'm thinking.
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I haven't said a word all day.
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00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:08,720
This Lucci's got a shit
load of followers, yeah?
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00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,320
And they would all bet big on him
to winning a fight.
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00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,360
So, if we stuck him
in the ring with a proper waif
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and then, hypothetically, there was
a massive upset,
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then hypothetically,
someone would make a fortune.
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00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:19,880
Everyone's going to bet on Lucci.
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00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,480
Yeah, but then I'd back the
underdog.
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And then when Lucci takes a fall...
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You'll make money!
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00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:26,840
Pay for my wedding
and save my relationship.
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00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:28,600
Wait, man, that's not going to work.
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Anyways, Lucci Bantz is going to
throw a fight? He'll look like a tit.
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00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,720
How do you know what a tit
looks like?
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Cos I've seen one, innit.
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Your sister in the shower
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don't count.
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KISSES TEETH
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Inchez is right, sir.
Lucci's all about image.
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But I'm his form teacher
and if I don't sign his report card,
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Lucci will get excluded.
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So you're going to blackmail
a child into helping you embezzle
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many other children?
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See, Jinx, when you shut up
and you listen, you get it.
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No...
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Oh, your son's therapist did
call me. Well, yes, I agree,
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there has been a slight
uptick in playground argy bargy.
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Yes, no, two broken legs.
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That is probably one too many
thinking about it,
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so, look, leave it with me.
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God help us if there's a third world
war. I mean, I think we are
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very much in danger of sucking all
the spunk out of our young men.
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Parents are blaming the epidemic
of violence on Luke Banister,
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aka Lucci Bantz.
Ah, leave the handbags to me, miss.
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What do you know about handbags,
Harper,
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other than how to snatch them
from the back of a speeding moped?
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No, the argy bargy. Look, as a
physical educator, I believe if
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the kids are choosing violence, then
we've got to speak their language.
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Great minds.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
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Yep. Whipping.
Boxing match. Whipping?
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No, fair. No, perhaps whipping does
have some negative connotations.
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But a shatterproof ruler,
a well-aimed slipper.
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00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,720
Yeah, I was just
thinking about a boxing match.
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Less bruising through a glove,
I like it.
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As long as it takes place
behind closed doors.
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No, no, we've got to get a crowd
in. To...make an example of 'em.
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Oh, I see! Like a public hanging.
Yes.
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I mean, it is too late
for Luke Banister unfortunately,
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I will have to expel him.
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No, no, don't do that, love.
No, stick him on red report.
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I'm his form teacher,
so if he steps out of line,
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I won't sign his report card,
goodbye, Lucci Bantz.
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I like it.
But don't call me love.
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Fraser?
Ooh, since when did you have pets?
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I wouldn't call them pets exactly,
but I'm not needlessly cruel. Soup?
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Right, that is exactly why you're
not catering my wedding.
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Spaghetti arabantia, ledgesana,
freshly baked ladaleines -
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please, I would love to cater an
All Bar One, it's a stunning venue.
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You knew that it was an All Bar One?
Yes! I can't wait to show
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Anthony Costa my
Anthony Costa tattoo.
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Where's Lucci?
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00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,200
And why is he plugging all this
shit on his socials?
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Lucci's mum won't let him
drink protein shakes at home.
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She's a real fun sponge.
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Fraze bars?
Shake-Eel.
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00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,840
It's a pun,
but they're also 30% real eel.
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I shot Lucci the good shit
and he made me
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the Eelon Musk of the
protein community.
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Simples!
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Table for three?
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Here he is!
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Ha!
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Welcome to Chez Fray.
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Any allergies?
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Yeah. I'm allergic to old
geezers in shit trainers.
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Whoa! Shots fired!
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Someone's hangry.
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You meant him, right? Ahem!
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Listen here, son.
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You might think you're
Billy Big Bollocks now
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but I can take your career
up a level. Who are you?
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I am your ticket to the big time.
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And I am putting on a fight that's
going to make Fury Wilder
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look like Will Smith defending his
little grumpy mate at the Oscars.
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00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,760
The only thing is, is you've got to
go down in the fourth round.
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What? Right. Little man,
I'm Lucci Bantz!
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4K, biatch!
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I don't lose!
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Can't even spell lose.
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So you'd lose a spelling bee.
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LAUGHS
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What?!
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
SLURRED: I know you're really
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disrespecting my boy asking him
to fight for nothing.
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00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:06,600
Fraser, are you having a stroke?
181
00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:08,680
No, he's doing this
Sly Stallone impression.
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00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,160
No, actually, I do think
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00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,360
I am allergic to something
in the Shake-Eel.
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Guessing it's the eel.
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00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:19,480
Ooh, boy! That's why they're always
so kind to me
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00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,680
at the London Aquarium.
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00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,240
Right, listen, Banister,
unfortunately for you,
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I'm also your form teacher.
Now, you need me
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to sign your report card, or else
you're going to get expelled.
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No school, no content.
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And all of this goes away.
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00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:39,600
So, are you going to go down in the
fourth round or not?
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00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:44,800
I hope you like it blue.
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00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,680
Lucci agreed to fight!
Abbey Grove Fight Night is on.
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00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:53,320
And I'll be taking full creative
control of this production.
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00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:54,600
Oh, do you like boxing, sir?
197
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,120
Uh, Cagey Joe in Bugsy, yeah.
198
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,360
Who? OK, fine.
199
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:00,720
We want it to feel like heavyweights
in Vegas.
200
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,440
Celine, Adele, Britney.
201
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:04,480
Tyson, Mayweather, Lennox Lewis.
202
00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,600
Is that Leona's brother?
Oh, for God's sake!
203
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,720
Right. We need to find a challenger.
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00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,160
Me! Me, sir, man.
205
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,520
I need to sprinkle some
karma on that bitch, cos at 11.59,
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00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,680
messing with a girl's power plump
lip gloss, is haram.
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00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,880
I swear, I'm going to gouge that
prick's eye out
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00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,560
and use it as a Beautyblender!
209
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:24,200
Loving the energy but I'm afraid
this one is for the boys.
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00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:29,200
Ooh, ooh, oooh! I'll fight for you,
sir, and I will win,
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00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,840
cos this is a game of inches
and I am the king!
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00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,600
I'll be the lyric-spitting bad
man that will crush Lucci Bantz.
213
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,520
Then I'll shag his mother
while he shits his pants!
214
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,560
SCREAMS
215
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:40,560
Oh!
216
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,360
I've heard of a glass jaw but I've
never seen a glass fist before.
217
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,080
All you've got to do is dance round
the ring for four rounds
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00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:48,400
and then one punch, yeah?
219
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:50,800
And they say I don't teach you all
transferable skills.
220
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,760
He doesn't mean literally
dancing around the ring.
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00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,120
Bopability, passion! Use it, Warren!
222
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,440
Tits and teeth!
223
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,080
MOANS
224
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,080
Come on, you dosser! Let's go.
225
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:20,960
I am a fighter, but I'm also
a lover as well, you know?
226
00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,600
Look in the mirror, what do you see?
227
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,080
Uh, me. No.
228
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,400
That right there is
your biggest enemy.
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00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,160
WAILS
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00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,400
Oh, for f... The kid's a bell-end.
231
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,160
Jab! Jab! Jab! Punch!
232
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,080
Woo! God, this horse is going to be
tender.
233
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,120
Yeah! Urgh!
234
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:59,640
Woo! Nice one, champ.
235
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,080
So, is your mum still single? Argh!
236
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,640
Hmm!
237
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,520
The photo I'm holding in my hand
is of the champion
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we have selected to represent Class
K in the fight of this century,
239
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,440
thus saving Mr Harper's wedding.
240
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:17,480
Ooh!
241
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,080
Warren, my love...it's not you.
242
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:23,000
Yeah, I love Kayleigh, mate,
but I couldn't do that to ya.
243
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,960
Besides, the last thing
I need is another court date.
244
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:26,240
LAUGHS
245
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,920
I'm sorry, is this a joke to you?
246
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,320
I cannot believe you would come
in here with a defeatist attitude.
247
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:34,440
I'm sorry, sir,
I'm just not a fighter.
248
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,720
Take control of your own destiny.
249
00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:39,160
No, I don't want to get
humiliated by that monster.
250
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:40,840
Stop it!
251
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,400
I have never in my life
yelled at a girl like this!
252
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:48,080
I was rooting for you,
we were all rooting for you!
253
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:51,880
Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Learn something from this!
254
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,040
Can you just tell them
who's fighting?
255
00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,120
It's Harrison.
256
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,600
SCREAMS
257
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,040
It's him again!
258
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,560
Ladies and gentlemen,
259
00:12:00,560 --> 00:12:06,280
tomorrow night, two giants go
head-to-head here at Abbey Grove.
260
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,760
ALL: Ooh!
261
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,640
Let's meet the fighters.
He's got a million-dollar smile
262
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,960
but don't let that fool you.
He's a killer.
263
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:18,360
It's Harrison "The Hurricane".
264
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,080
MUSIC: Believe
by Cher
265
00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,320
Stop it! Stop!
266
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,240
No, I said no pictures! Get back!
Get back!
267
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,600
Warren.
268
00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,120
What the hell is this music?
269
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,640
What? You asked for Believe.
Yeah, by Eminem.
270
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,680
MUSIC CHANGES
271
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,680
Oh, that's more like it.
272
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,680
Oh, Jesus Christ.
273
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,760
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
274
00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:42,880
Lucci Bantz.
275
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,720
4K...
CROWD: ..All day!
276
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,800
4K...
CROWD: ..All day.
277
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,320
Woo! Let's go!
278
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:50,360
Right, gentlemen,
before we weigh you,
279
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,440
let's face off for one last time.
280
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,240
Wait. What's this bit?
281
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,200
It's like Housewives, The Reunion.
Oh, work!
282
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,440
Ha!
283
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,440
LUCCI LAUGHS
284
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,440
It's a pussy!
I can't fight him,
285
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,360
I'll get done by the RSPCA, won't I?
286
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:07,480
Harrison, say something.
Say something back to him.
287
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,440
Erm...
288
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:10,960
Erm...
289
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,280
WHISPERS: Stephen.
290
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,800
Uh...
291
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,880
Yeah? Well, you're a dumb ho. Ah!
292
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,560
And, er, your shorts are not
giving, child.
293
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:30,360
Also, your shoulders are
overdeveloped.
294
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:33,840
I'm going to go through
you like Fraser's tuna bhuna.
295
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,040
ALL: Ooh!
296
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:38,200
That bad boy burns.
WHISPERS: Go on, Harrison. One more.
297
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,360
HE PURRS
298
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,560
Meow! What's he doing?
Stephen, what did you tell him?
299
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,120
I just said slap him.
300
00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:02,520
Purr! Oh, God. He thinks he's a cat.
301
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,000
Meow!
302
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,680
Oh, no.
303
00:14:05,680 --> 00:14:07,840
Oh, I think he likes you, look.
304
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,240
LAUGHS
305
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,600
SCREAMS
306
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,600
Oh! OK, OK, that'll do.
307
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,040
LAUGHTER
308
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,120
Get some of this inside you.
309
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:24,040
Ten inches of non-filtered eel.
310
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,960
I don't want the eel!
311
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,720
Er, Blessing, these odds
are far too short.
312
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,160
I can't help it, sir.
Everyone's betting on Harrison.
313
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,320
He made Lucci look
like a dickhead in the weigh-in.
314
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,400
Even if I win,
I ain't going to make any money.
315
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,840
And I've got my eye on this gorgeous
little Mexican spot for my wedding.
316
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,360
Brand-new in town,
it's called Taco Bella.
317
00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,640
Are you trying to say
Taco Bell in a Spanish accent?
318
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,320
No. Don't ask stupid questions.
319
00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,400
Right, we need to change fighters.
320
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,440
The only way we can change fighters
is through injury,
321
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,240
otherwise people are going to get
suspicious.
322
00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:07,240
Sir! Sir! Oh, my God!
Harrison just headbutted a mirror!
323
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,480
There is blood everywhere!
324
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:11,280
Result! Problem solved.
325
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,680
Ha-ha! Right.
Let's change this fighter.
326
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:17,600
We need to find someone that is
utterly, utterly pathetic,
327
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,640
like a proper little streak of piss.
Like a little...
328
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,640
Warren. Warren?
329
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,560
You can't make him
fight Lucci Bantz, sir.
330
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,680
Warren has PTSD. Ah, is that the one
where you can't concentrate?
331
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:30,960
No, it's post traumatic...
332
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,480
Oh, look, meatballs for lunch.
Lovely. Come on, sir.
333
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,000
Sir, Lucci already humiliated me
in front of the whole school.
334
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,520
You said you weren't going to make
me fight. Warren,
335
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,720
if you get in that ring for me,
336
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,360
all of you can come
to my wedding, yeah?
337
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,640
It's a free bar and some
of the bridesmaids ain't picky.
338
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,960
Do it, Warren.
Do it for the pussy, man.
339
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:51,480
I said they weren't picky,
I didn't say they was blind.
340
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:52,760
I can't. I'm sorry.
341
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,480
Look, Warren, please.
342
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,320
If Kayleigh finds out that
I've ruined her big day, then...
343
00:15:58,320 --> 00:15:59,720
Well, then she's going to leave me.
344
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,320
I really love her.
345
00:16:03,320 --> 00:16:06,840
Come on. You know
you want to help me out.
346
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:10,080
OK. Yeah! Oh, my God, phallus!
347
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,080
What? Oh, my gosh! Who put that?
348
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,240
Right. Get out of the way,
you dossers.
349
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,080
I am betting 500 quid on Warren
350
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,960
to win by knockout Round 4.
351
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,360
Thank you very much.
352
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,360
PHONE RINGS
353
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,960
Wait, let me at it.
Let me see, let me see.
354
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,240
Hello, babe. You all right?
ON PHONE: Mitchell, where are you?
355
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,760
Eh? Harper! Where are you?
356
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,240
Just give me sec, yeah? One sec.
357
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,360
All right, Miss?
Look, when I agreed to this event,
358
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,400
I didn't expect you to
invite the parents!
359
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,240
Well, of course,
I invited the parents, Miss,
360
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,320
they're here to help the pot.
A pot...
361
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:51,240
Pot...ential of this innovative
disciplinary event.
362
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,320
I love your dickie bow... Sh!
363
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,240
Now, I know there's money
changing hands.
364
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,960
Let me make this nice and easy,
in words of one syllable,
365
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,840
I want you to get my beak wet.
366
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,920
Miss Hoburn, do you really think
I would pull the ladder up? Yes.
367
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,560
The school gets the gate, you get
the car park, how does that sound?
368
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,560
Deal. Hey! Yes, I drive a hard
bargain, Mr Harper.
369
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:10,720
Don't forget,
370
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,880
I helped the government procure
PPE during the pannie D.
371
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,560
Yeah, right. There you go.
372
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,880
Ooh! I like it. Sweet as.
373
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,920
PHONE BEEPS
374
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,920
Sorry, babe, where were we?
375
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,120
ON PHONE: Do you remember what
we were meant to be doing tonight?
376
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,360
Huh?
377
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:27,200
Oh, shit! I forgot to cancel.
Bollocks!
378
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,920
You ain't gone to Allbarone,
have you?
379
00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:32,240
You mean All Bar One?
380
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,880
Mitchell?
381
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,520
Ah, did you drive?
That'll be the sat nav
382
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,080
getting confused. It done that to
me... Mitchell, if you've spent
383
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,960
that money, I swear to God...
No, no, no, no, no!
384
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,480
Babe, I will explain everything
in about four rounds' time, yeah?
385
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:50,840
Uh, Usma? Usma! Can you get Kayleigh
a seat, please? Front row.
386
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,480
Oh! Front row? With these clothes?
387
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,160
Just do it, please.
388
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,800
Come on, I'm really stressed out.
What is going on?
389
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,600
Love you.
390
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,600
HE CHUCKLES
391
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:14,920
W...Welcome to Fight Night
in Hertfordshire's Sin City!
392
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,000
Give it up!
393
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:18,000
CHEERING
394
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,120
I give you Lucci Bantz!
395
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,400
CROWD CHANT: Lucci! Lucci! Lucci!
396
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:28,240
BOOING
That's me, huh? Lucci, that's me!
397
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,880
And now it is my pleasure to
introduce Abbey Grove's most
398
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,720
sickening bitch, it's Warren!
399
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,480
MUSIC: If I Could Turn Back Time
by Cher
400
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,240
Take his eyes out, Warren!
401
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,880
Woo!
402
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,360
Woo!
403
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,680
Warren, stop fannying about
and get in the ring.
404
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,920
He can't even get in the ring.
THEY LAUGH
405
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,400
Ow! Ah!
406
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,680
Sir, when I asked for
a different song,
407
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,520
I didn't mean another
one from the same Cher album.
408
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,080
Now, Warren, how do you see this
fight playing out tonight?
409
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,440
I see it from a bird's-eye view.
410
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,200
I'm...I'm floating weightless...
411
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,880
watching my body being
thrown around like a rag doll.
412
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,680
The higher I get, the less my death
seems to matter. Ah, ah, ah!
413
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,760
There is a golden boy inside of you,
not just a punched out trap!
414
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,920
As I said when I played Cagey Joe
in Bugsy...
415
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,800
I don't know how
that's going to help.
416
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,200
You're not listening!
417
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,560
I am a dead man walking and there's
nothing that you learned as an
418
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:34,120
understudy on a free town tour of
Bugsy Malone that can change that!
419
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,160
Bravo, Warren.
420
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,320
One minute in the spotlight and I
don't even recognise you any more.
421
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,720
I would like to invite you all to
stand for the national anthem.
422
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:50,800
God save our...
Oh say
423
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:54,120
Can you see
424
00:19:54,120 --> 00:20:00,800
By the dawn's early light
425
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:05,360
Oh the...
426
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:05,360
SLURS LYRICS
427
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:10,200
..By the twilight's last gleaming?
428
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:16,520
Whose broad stripes
and bright stars
429
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,920
Whoa! Whoa!
430
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:23,280
Let's play some boxing!
431
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:27,840
All right, lads.
432
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,840
Right, keep it clean,
obey my commands.
433
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,480
And my God have mercy on your
souls. Touch gloves!
434
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:47,240
Go for it! Come on, Warren!
Go for it!
435
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,880
WHIMPERS
436
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,880
Come on! Urgh!
437
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,600
Ow! Urgh!
438
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:57,360
Oh, my God, it's so violent!
439
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,680
WARREN GROANS
440
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,120
Ooh!
441
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,640
Yeah, that's it, Warren!
Run away!
442
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,000
Help me! HELP!
443
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:20,960
Tie him up!
Kill him, Warren! KILL HIM!
444
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,800
Oh, shit, listen to Usma.
Someone woke up and chose violence.
445
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:24,960
Shame it wasn't Warren.
446
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,680
WARREN WHIMPERING
447
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:29,720
BELL
448
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,200
Someone get him some water!
449
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,920
Well done, Warren! Well done!
That's it. Good man.
450
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,600
This is it, mate. This is it.
Round 4, yeah?
451
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,960
Lucci is going to lower his guard
452
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,080
and that is your cue to land the
punch. He's going to go down.
453
00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,320
Game over.
454
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,560
BELL
455
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,600
You've got this one, Warren!
Woo!
456
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,640
Lucci! Stick to the plan!
457
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,840
Oh!
458
00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,840
STEPHEN SCREAMS
459
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:02,960
Warren! Warren!
460
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,360
One...
461
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,080
Come on, let's go! Huh?
462
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,680
..two...
463
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,200
Drink your Shake-Eel!
4K all day, people.
464
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:13,240
Oi! If Warren don't get up,
I'm going to exclude you.
465
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:17,760
Fill your boots. Thanks to you,
I got verified on TikTok.
466
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,720
The people love me!
CROWD: Lucci! Lucci! Lucci!
467
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:23,760
..seven...
468
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,120
..eight... Get up!
469
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,280
And you're out.
470
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,280
BELL
471
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,280
Sit down. God! When's the interval?!
472
00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:34,920
Let's go!
473
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,840
Oi, Blessing! Lucci's tucked me
right up.
474
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,400
Take that and stick it on Lucci
475
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,320
to win by knockout in
the 12th round, yeah?
476
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:44,640
But what about Warren, sir?
Oh, he ain't got a chance, has he?
477
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:46,080
But you always back Class K.
478
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,040
Yeah? You tell that to Kayleigh.
Just do it.
479
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,160
Go. All right, babe?
480
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,760
Move your bum! Oh!
481
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,760
WARREN MOANS
482
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,400
These heels are killing me!
I'm sorry, sir.
483
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:58,480
I shouldn't have told people that
you were an understudy.
484
00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,320
Oh, don't worry.
Nobody believed you anyway.
485
00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,640
You just looked a bit bitter.
I know you were rooting for me.
486
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,080
Er, I am always rooting for you.
487
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,280
Oi, Warren! I heard your nan
was fit.
488
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,160
Fraser! What? I didn't tell him,
what can I say? The kids got eyes.
489
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:17,040
Give me my gloves.
I just want to hit him, just once.
490
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,920
He's strong but he's got no rhythm.
You'll get your chance
491
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,760
but you have to dip, duck,
and slide.
492
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,320
I don't know how to do any of that.
493
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:24,880
Yes, you do!
494
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:28,160
I'll say it again, I teach y'all
transferable skills!
495
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:29,280
GROWLS
496
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,600
Gentlemen, Round 5!
497
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:37,440
Now...listen to me,
498
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,480
you're going to stay on beat just
like a dance class
499
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,800
and take my direction, OK? Let's go.
500
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,040
Five, six, seven, eight.
501
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,280
Round 5.
502
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,280
BELL
503
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:58,000
Six, Pussycat Dolls! Roar! Boop!
504
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,800
Ha! Beyonce. Roar! Cha-cha!
505
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,440
And...yaas! Ha!
506
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:10,760
Ha! Westside! Roll!
507
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,000
Again, six, seven, eight!
508
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,760
Spice Girls! Seven, eight!
509
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:24,600
What are you doing? Hit me!
Are you kidding?!
510
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:30,720
Yes, fight for this now!
Fight, fight, fight!
511
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,960
Hit me! Come on!
Again, fight, fight, fight! Woo!
512
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,320
What?! Gangnam Style!
513
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,920
Fraser.
514
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,960
Hello.
515
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:47,560
Keep going, you've got this,
you've got this.
516
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:55,680
Finish!
517
00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,360
Yes, Warren!
518
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,280
CHEERING
519
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:04,880
A one, a two,
520
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,440
a three... Oh, no, actually,
can we get a medic, please,
521
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,520
to stop this boy bleeding
on the canvas?
522
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:13,280
You won't believe how much it cost
to hire. Oi, Miss.
523
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,240
I thought they loved me.
524
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,800
They did. Right up until the point
where Warren slut-dropped you
525
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:27,480
into punching yourself in the face.
526
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:28,880
Fickle thing, fame.
527
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,920
Please don't let Miss Hoburn expel
me, sir. My mum will kill me.
528
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,400
I promise I'll
sign your report card,
529
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,520
as long as you promise to stop
being a total bell-end.
530
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:40,880
Mm-hm, OK. Yeah?
531
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,840
Can I have your attention, please?
It's time to announce the winner.
532
00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,240
CHEERING
533
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:50,720
And the winner
by disqualification is...
534
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:52,640
Lucci Bantz!
535
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,240
What? Huh? How?
536
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,520
Lead. From the chemistry lab roof.
537
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,920
Concealed in this boy's glove.
538
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,880
Now, I take cheating very
seriously... Oh!
539
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:08,880
Oh, shit! Warren's a bad man!
CHEERING
540
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,280
Did you put lead in Warren's gloves?
541
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:17,760
No. I'm not that smart. I didn't bet
on the disqualification.
542
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,320
Kayleigh, look, I am so sorry.
I'm an idiot.
543
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,400
I blew all of our wedding
money on Anthony Costa. Who?
544
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,600
Who's Anthony Costa?
Fraser, not now.
545
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,160
Red flag.
546
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,200
Kayleigh, I love you so much.
547
00:26:30,200 --> 00:26:34,080
I tried to fix the fight to pay
for our special day and I blew it.
548
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,200
You deserve so much more than me.
549
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,960
But I want to marry you for you,
OK? I don't care where we do it.
550
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,000
I ain't even bought you a ring.
551
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,000
Well, there's a ring right here.
552
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,040
Are you serious?
553
00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,200
Yes. Why not?
554
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,400
It's about you and me, right?
555
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,840
Surrounded by people who love us,
but I do still want a proper ring.
556
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:57,960
Yeah, course.
557
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:08,040
Kayleigh, if you want to change your
mind, nobody will judge you, OK?
558
00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,960
But if I must, you may kiss
the bride.
559
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,800
Come on!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
560
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,800
Yes, sir!
561
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,640
Well, it's official. From boxing
bells to wedding bells,
562
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:28,400
this brother is punching
WAY above his weight. Facts.
563
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,000
Did all right, didn't I?
Yeah, you did good.
564
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:35,920
Hmm?
565
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:42,040
How did you... When did you get...
566
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,360
Never bet against Class K.
567
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,280
Oi, bless him,
Lucci's tucked me right up.
568
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,400
Take this and put it on Lucci to
win by knockout on Round 12, yeah?
569
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,800
But what about Warren?
Oh, he ain't got a chance, has he?
570
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,400
Put this on Lucci Bantz
by disqualification in Round 5.
571
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:07,520
Oi! You want to rile him up?
Diss his nan, she's a cougar.
572
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,800
I just want to hit him, just once.
573
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,520
Give me my gloves.
574
00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:18,160
Oi, miss.
575
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,200
Blessing, you're a genius!
576
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:24,200
Enjoy your honeymoon, sir.
577
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:28,360
Oh, we will. We're going to do
two weeks on this beautiful little island,
578
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:30,520
just off the coast of France
it's called the...
579
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:32,080
IN FRENCH ACCENT: Isle du Wight.
580
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:38,440
Wow! I hope you and Kayleigh have a
lovely time on the Isle of Wight.
581
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,480
Huh?
582
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:42,280
NEWS REPORTER: And 100
wedding guests,
583
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,720
some as young as 12 have been
hospitalised by a mystery virus.
584
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,320
The groom has blamed the catering.
585
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:52,240
Slow down, buster!
You've got the wrong guy!
586
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:58,680
Pavel! Edna!
I thought we were friends!
587
00:28:58,730 --> 00:29:03,280
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