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1
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,432
{\an8}- * My words are lazy ♪
2
00:00:14,432 --> 00:00:16,350
{\an8}♪ My thoughts are hazy ♪
3
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:19,479
{\an8}♪ But this is one thing
I'm sure of ♪
4
00:00:19,479 --> 00:00:23,107
{\an8}♪ Everybody needs
a best friend ♪
5
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,860
{\an8}♪ I'm happy I'm yours ♪
6
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:34,994
{\an8}Hey, thanks again
for picking us up, Blaire.
7
00:00:34,994 --> 00:00:37,163
{\an8}Yeah, no problem.
What'd you guys end up seeing?
8
00:00:37,163 --> 00:00:38,247
{\an8}"Jurassic Park."
9
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:39,415
{\an8}It's, like, the greatest movie
10
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:40,708
{\an8}I've ever fucking seen,
like, ever.
11
00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:43,419
{\an8}Yeah, Spielberg
actually got real dinosaurs.
12
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:45,546
{\an8}Uh, yeah, I don't think so.
13
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,131
{\an8}- No, he did.
- No, he did. He totally did.
14
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:48,508
{\an8}There's no other explanation.
15
00:00:48,508 --> 00:00:51,719
{\an8}I promise you guys
he did not get real dinosaurs.
16
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:53,513
{\an8}Well, that's-that's a
ignorant thing to say, Blaire,
17
00:00:53,513 --> 00:00:54,722
{\an8}when you didn't see the movie.
18
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,225
{\an8}Yeah, no, he made "ET"
and he made "Jaws"
19
00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:58,434
{\an8}and this was his reward.
20
00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,727
{\an8}He got real dinosaurs
to play with.
21
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:00,770
{\an8}It all adds up.
22
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,313
{\an8}My only criticism
of the movie--
23
00:01:02,313 --> 00:01:04,649
{\an8}who has open cups of water
in the car?
24
00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:05,983
{\an8}Oh yeah, that was weird.
25
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,610
{\an8}Yeah, it's like,
you want a lid for that water?
26
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:09,529
{\an8}Nah, that's OK.
I'm just riding in the jungle.
27
00:01:09,529 --> 00:01:11,114
{\an8}Oh, hey, can we stop
by the video store?
28
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:12,198
{\an8}I want to rent a movie.
29
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:14,033
{\an8}You just saw a movie.
30
00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:15,827
{\an8}Yeah, I know.
And now, we got dinosaur fever.
31
00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,787
{\an8}We want to see more movies
with dinosaurs.
32
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,249
{\an8}Fine, but you got to be quick.
I got plans tonight.
33
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:23,000
{\an8}Oh, yeah?
What-what do you got going on?
34
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,502
{\an8}Just stuff.
35
00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:25,795
{\an8}Like college stuff?
36
00:01:25,795 --> 00:01:27,046
{\an8}Yes.
37
00:01:27,046 --> 00:01:28,339
{\an8}- Toga party?
- No.
38
00:01:28,339 --> 00:01:29,632
{\an8}Fucking rush week?
39
00:01:29,632 --> 00:01:30,717
{\an8}No.
40
00:01:30,717 --> 00:01:31,801
{\an8}Fucking around
with the new pledges,
41
00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:33,302
{\an8}but then Diane
goes a little too far
42
00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:34,679
{\an8}and something horrible happens
43
00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:36,931
{\an8}but then you all kind of
work together to cover it up
44
00:01:36,931 --> 00:01:38,141
{\an8}and then the next day,
45
00:01:38,141 --> 00:01:39,434
{\an8}you just go to class
like nothing happened
46
00:01:39,434 --> 00:01:40,935
{\an8}but now you're all
bonded for life
47
00:01:40,935 --> 00:01:42,270
{\an8}by, like, a horrible secret,
48
00:01:42,270 --> 00:01:43,813
{\an8}and it seems like
it's all going to be OK
49
00:01:43,813 --> 00:01:45,481
{\an8}but then Rachel
seems a little shaky
50
00:01:45,481 --> 00:01:47,316
{\an8}and you wonder if
she's going to be a problem?
51
00:01:47,316 --> 00:01:49,110
{\an8}What the fuck are
you talking about?
52
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:50,737
{\an8}I'm just making conversation.
53
00:01:58,995 --> 00:02:01,664
OK, you got five minutes.
Hurry up and pick something.
54
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:02,665
OK.
55
00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:17,513
Hey, Teddy.
- Yeah?
56
00:02:17,513 --> 00:02:19,140
You ever seen a porno?
57
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:21,476
Yeah, I saw a lot of them
when I was out in Hollywood.
58
00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:23,436
They as awesome
as people say?
59
00:02:23,436 --> 00:02:25,438
They are, Johnny.
60
00:02:25,438 --> 00:02:26,689
What are they like?
61
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:28,483
Well, you turn it on,
you settle in,
62
00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:29,817
you get your Kleenex
and your lotion,
63
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,861
and you--
you fucking go to town.
64
00:02:31,861 --> 00:02:33,196
Wow.
65
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,530
Sounds amazing.
66
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:35,907
Yeah, especially afterward
when it's over
67
00:02:35,907 --> 00:02:37,867
and you think about
what you did.
68
00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:39,077
Really?
69
00:02:39,077 --> 00:02:40,411
Yeah,
and you clean yourself up
70
00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:41,537
but the porn's still going
on in the background,
71
00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,498
but it seems twice as loud now.
72
00:02:43,498 --> 00:02:44,999
And even though
you didn't leave the house,
73
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:47,335
you know you've contributed
to a woman's nightmare.
74
00:02:47,335 --> 00:02:48,795
Oh, and you can't
75
00:02:48,795 --> 00:02:51,005
shove that sock in the hamper
deep enough.
76
00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:53,299
Man, every time I come
in here and I see those doors,
77
00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,802
it's like it's so mysterious.
78
00:02:55,802 --> 00:02:59,222
The private, exclusive
adults-only room.
79
00:03:16,948 --> 00:03:19,534
Master John, Master Ted.
80
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:22,286
I'm so delighted
that you've joined us.
81
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:25,623
Are we thinking of renting
some pornography this evening?
82
00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:26,999
Indeed, we are, Lloyd.
83
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:28,459
Splendid, splendid.
84
00:03:28,459 --> 00:03:31,254
We have quite a fine selection
for your perusal.
85
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:33,172
Mm,
well, what would you recommend?
86
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,465
Your preference, sir.
87
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,676
Would you like to
feel in charge,
88
00:03:36,676 --> 00:03:38,594
or like an itty, bitty baby?
89
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:41,180
I do believe I would like
to feel like a baby.
90
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:44,308
No one has
ever chosen the other one, sir.
91
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:46,018
Yes, I would imagine not.
92
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,688
Very good, sir.
93
00:03:48,688 --> 00:03:51,315
I'll be right back
with your cream and kerchief.
94
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,067
How's the wife, Lloyd?
95
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:57,238
Well, sir, I'm afraid that
Clara passed away last month.
96
00:03:57,238 --> 00:03:59,282
Oh, Lloyd,
we're so very sorry.
97
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,534
Thank you, sir.
She fought bravely,
98
00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:03,661
but there was nothing
the doctors could do.
99
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,788
And how is your son
taking the loss?
100
00:04:05,788 --> 00:04:08,249
We haven't spoken
since she passed away, sir.
101
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:11,294
I'm afraid that Jeremy blames
me for his mother's death.
102
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,462
How terrible.
103
00:04:12,462 --> 00:04:14,172
Thank heaven I have my work.
104
00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:17,383
Elsewise, I'm not sure
I could go on living myself.
105
00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:21,387
Well, enjoy your pornography, sir.
106
00:04:21,387 --> 00:04:22,972
Jesus.
107
00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:25,558
Your fantasy includes the guy
losing his wife and family?
108
00:04:25,558 --> 00:04:26,642
Well I mean,
the son didn't die,
109
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:27,935
they're just estranged.
110
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,687
I just feel like
111
00:04:29,687 --> 00:04:31,355
by putting all that on him,
it distracts from our story.
112
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:33,649
Teddy,
you want to go in there?
113
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,984
In the back room?
114
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,110
Yeah.
115
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,361
Yeah, don't you
think it's about time
116
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:38,696
I rented my first porno?
117
00:04:38,696 --> 00:04:40,823
Well, I hope
you've gotten everything done
118
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,742
that you need to get done ever.
119
00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:43,868
Why?
120
00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:45,078
Oh, you'll see.
Come on, let's do it.
121
00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:50,041
Hey! No one under 18
in the adult section!
122
00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:51,292
Ah, shit.
123
00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,002
It's all right, Johnny.
I'll go and get it.
124
00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,128
You hear me?
125
00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:55,671
I said no one under 18!
126
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,256
It's all right, buddy.
It's just me.
127
00:04:57,256 --> 00:05:00,676
You came to life in 1985.
That makes you what, eight?
128
00:05:00,676 --> 00:05:02,178
Dude,
it's a little different.
129
00:05:02,178 --> 00:05:03,888
No.
Rules are rules!
130
00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,056
Ah, shit.
131
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,435
Wow,
what an amazing selection!
132
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,354
These are all so erotic!
133
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,438
All right,
if you guys are done
134
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:13,481
humiliating yourselves
in public,
135
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,899
can we get out of here?
136
00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:16,401
Uh, Blaire.
137
00:05:16,401 --> 00:05:17,527
I'm not renting you porn.
138
00:05:17,527 --> 00:05:18,861
Oh, come on, you gotta.
139
00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:19,695
No, I don't.
140
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,030
Blaire, I'm already 16.
141
00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,491
OK, if I was Mormon,
I'd be a grandfather by now.
142
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,451
Blaire, be a pal, huh?
Just this once.
143
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,036
I'm basically
an adult already, OK?
144
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,996
I just want to watch
an adult movie.
145
00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:31,749
All right, fine.
146
00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,209
- What?
- What?
147
00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:34,293
I don't have time to
stand here all day and argue.
148
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,753
OK, just go wait in the car.
149
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,255
- Holy shit. Fucking awesome!
- Oh, my God, Blaire!
150
00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:38,673
You're fucking amazing, Blaire!
- Wow, Thank you so much!
151
00:05:38,673 --> 00:05:40,007
Blaire,
this is fucking awesome!
152
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,926
Thank you so much!
- Oh, you're the fucking best!
153
00:05:42,677 --> 00:05:44,137
Oh, and whatever
seems grossest to you,
154
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:45,346
that's probably what
we're going to like.
155
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:46,222
I'm going to count to three.
156
00:05:46,222 --> 00:05:47,432
OK.
157
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:51,227
All right, you guys.
Enjoy the movie.
158
00:05:51,227 --> 00:05:52,729
Oh, we will.
159
00:05:52,729 --> 00:05:54,647
Oh, and don't be thrown
when you turn it on.
160
00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,815
It's black and white.
161
00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:57,358
- Even better.
- Yeah, finally.
162
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:59,068
We're telling their stories.
- Yeah, love that.
163
00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,236
Representation matters.
164
00:06:00,236 --> 00:06:01,154
Glad to hear it.
165
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:04,657
- OK.
- Here we go.
166
00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:07,452
We got at least an hour
before Mom gets back.
167
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:13,040
All right, porno time!
168
00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:16,210
Whoa.
"The 400 Blows."
169
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,755
Whoever this guy is, he's going
to be a nub by the end of it.
170
00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:20,840
Ah, French fucking.
All right.
171
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,425
Little hairy, but I'm on board.
172
00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:27,388
That's what the fucking's
going to sound like.
173
00:06:34,312 --> 00:06:36,814
Jesus, how the fuck long
has this been going on?
174
00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:38,191
You guys enjoying the movie?
175
00:06:38,191 --> 00:06:39,817
No!
It sucks!
176
00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:41,235
How the fuck is this a porno?
177
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:44,697
Well, I rented you guys
an adult movie,
178
00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:47,158
as in a movie for adults.
179
00:06:47,158 --> 00:06:48,785
Oh, you suck.
180
00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:50,912
No, no, but wait, they were
talking about ball sacks.
181
00:06:50,912 --> 00:06:51,954
Balzac.
182
00:06:51,954 --> 00:06:53,122
Yeah, exactly.
So where were they?
183
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:54,957
Are saying
you don't like the film?
184
00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,585
No! No, there's no sex
at all in this movie.
185
00:06:57,585 --> 00:06:58,795
Just ennui.
186
00:06:58,795 --> 00:06:59,879
I did you a favor.
187
00:06:59,879 --> 00:07:01,589
No, we want to
look at genitals.
188
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,132
Trust me, it's overrated.
189
00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:05,051
Wait, what do you mean?
You watch porn?
190
00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:05,927
Uh, no.
191
00:07:05,927 --> 00:07:07,929
But a guy from my school did
192
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:10,181
mail me a photo of his dick
last semester.
193
00:07:10,181 --> 00:07:11,140
Oh.
194
00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:12,892
He even shot it
in sepia tone.
195
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,852
Wait, so it was, like,
all old-timey?
196
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,104
Yeah.
197
00:07:16,104 --> 00:07:17,855
Like, "This penis
is a Dust Bowl orphan"?
198
00:07:17,855 --> 00:07:19,065
You want the kicker?
199
00:07:19,065 --> 00:07:20,149
It was flaccid.
200
00:07:20,149 --> 00:07:21,484
Wait, so he didn't even
do the work?
201
00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,987
Nope. Just a flaccid dick
with a fancy filter.
202
00:07:24,987 --> 00:07:27,073
Well, I guess even
a great director
203
00:07:27,073 --> 00:07:28,574
can't save a bad script.
204
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,326
Anyway, enjoy the movie, guys.
205
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,244
It's a classic.
206
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,665
Fuck this.
207
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:54,851
Everyone,
Matty and I have some news.
208
00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:57,270
Oh, man.
It finally happened.
209
00:07:57,270 --> 00:07:59,355
Look, I'm sure this was
a tough decision to make,
210
00:07:59,355 --> 00:08:01,524
but there's no sense
in postponing the inevitable.
211
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:02,859
You know what?
212
00:08:02,859 --> 00:08:03,860
Not every marriage
is meant to last forever.
213
00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:05,153
And at a certain point,
214
00:08:05,153 --> 00:08:06,362
you're just throwing good years
out the bag.
215
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:07,447
We're going out to dinner.
216
00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:08,865
Hey!
That's...
217
00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:10,199
one of my favorite meals.
218
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:11,659
We're going to go out,
219
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:14,162
we're going to have a nice,
romantic evening tomorrow.
220
00:08:14,162 --> 00:08:16,622
Just the two of us
just because.
221
00:08:16,622 --> 00:08:18,291
And we're going to have
a lovely time.
222
00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:19,625
That's right.
223
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,961
My wife deserves a night out
just for being her.
224
00:08:21,961 --> 00:08:23,546
We're going to have a--we're
going to have a great meal,
225
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,672
and it's going to be terrific!
226
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:25,798
- Jesus.
227
00:08:25,798 --> 00:08:27,216
Take it easy.
- What?
228
00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,218
I'm fucking happy.
It's going to be a great night.
229
00:08:29,218 --> 00:08:31,054
You know, I wonder if years
from now, we'll find out
230
00:08:31,054 --> 00:08:33,931
this was all just one big,
long heart attack.
231
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:35,850
Teddy, can I speak to you
in private?
232
00:08:35,850 --> 00:08:37,143
OK, this is perfect.
233
00:08:37,143 --> 00:08:38,436
Mom and Dad are going
to be out of the house
234
00:08:38,436 --> 00:08:39,479
and Blaire's got school.
235
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,064
There will never
be a better time.
236
00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:41,898
For what?
237
00:08:41,898 --> 00:08:43,900
To rent a real porno.
238
00:08:43,900 --> 00:08:45,234
Well, how are we supposed
to do it?
239
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:47,236
That butt nut in the store
says we got to be 18.
240
00:08:47,236 --> 00:08:48,988
There's a different guy
that comes in at 6:00
241
00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:50,198
for the night shift,
all right?
242
00:08:50,198 --> 00:08:51,449
We get fake IDs,
243
00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,618
we go in after 6:00,
we can rent that porno.
244
00:08:53,618 --> 00:08:55,119
I don't know, Johnny.
It's a risk.
245
00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,913
I mean, if we get caught--
- Teddy.
246
00:08:56,913 --> 00:08:58,956
Watching other people
have sex on a TV screen,
247
00:08:58,956 --> 00:09:01,334
that's just about the
coolest thing a person can do.
248
00:09:01,334 --> 00:09:02,752
It's worth the risk.
249
00:09:02,752 --> 00:09:05,254
By this time tomorrow,
that dream could be ours.
250
00:09:05,254 --> 00:09:07,507
All right.
Let's get some sleep.
251
00:09:07,507 --> 00:09:09,634
We jerk at first light.
- Right.
252
00:09:22,105 --> 00:09:23,898
OK.
Two fake IDs.
253
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:24,982
That'll be 50 bucks.
254
00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,318
We got that same VCR at home.
255
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:28,403
I don't give a shit.
256
00:09:28,403 --> 00:09:29,737
Right there.
257
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,531
My whole allowance
for eight weeks.
258
00:09:31,531 --> 00:09:35,159
All right, here we go.
Enjoy your new lives as adults.
259
00:09:35,159 --> 00:09:37,328
Jesus Christ,
how old is this guy?
260
00:09:37,328 --> 00:09:38,663
Looks like he's 40.
261
00:09:38,663 --> 00:09:40,206
Hey, you'll be fine,
all right?
262
00:09:40,206 --> 00:09:42,250
Although Ted's
took a little bit of work.
263
00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,627
- I-I can't use this.
- Why not?
264
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:46,754
It looks like Bob Ross.
265
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:49,298
It is.
It is Bob--this is Bob Ross.
266
00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:50,466
Well, you're a tough fit, pal.
267
00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:52,051
It was either him
or a pair of UGG boots.
268
00:09:52,051 --> 00:09:54,887
Oh, yeah, laugh it up now,
but pretty soon,
269
00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,515
I'll be having an orgasm
next to my friend.
270
00:09:57,515 --> 00:09:58,725
Yeah!
271
00:10:15,658 --> 00:10:16,868
Wait, wait, not yet!
Not yet!
272
00:10:16,868 --> 00:10:18,619
That other bastard's
still there.
273
00:10:18,619 --> 00:10:21,372
Act like we're just here
to rent a movie.
274
00:10:21,372 --> 00:10:22,498
Ah, yes.
275
00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:24,709
This looks like a good,
non-sexual film.
276
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:26,294
Oh, yes,
I have heard many great,
277
00:10:26,294 --> 00:10:28,337
non-sexual things
about this movie.
278
00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:31,382
Peter Travers calls it
"a sex-free laugh riot."
279
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:35,303
"Time" magazine says, "about
as erotic as mom's diarrhea."
280
00:10:35,303 --> 00:10:37,013
The fuck?
281
00:10:37,013 --> 00:10:38,514
- What?
- The fuck was that?
282
00:10:38,514 --> 00:10:40,224
What do you mean? I'm just
expanding on your thing.
283
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:41,392
That's not what I was doing.
284
00:10:41,392 --> 00:10:43,728
Improv's all about
"Yes, and..." OK?
285
00:10:43,728 --> 00:10:44,645
You can't just shut me down
like that
286
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:45,646
in the middle of a scene.
287
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,398
Don't do "mom's diarrhea"
288
00:10:47,398 --> 00:10:49,192
and then tell me how I'm
fucking supposed to do improv.
289
00:10:49,192 --> 00:10:52,320
Jesus Christ.
290
00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,488
- Hey.
- Hey.
291
00:10:53,488 --> 00:10:54,530
All right.
292
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:55,865
I'm out of here.
- Later.
293
00:10:55,865 --> 00:10:56,991
Have a good one.
294
00:10:56,991 --> 00:10:59,368
All right, let's move.
295
00:10:59,911 --> 00:11:02,080
Excuse me. Uh-uh.
Adults only.
296
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,331
Ah, yes. Of course.
297
00:11:03,331 --> 00:11:05,249
How forgetful of us.
- Oh, don't worry.
298
00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:07,877
This, uh,
this happens all the time.
299
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:09,087
I understand your mistake.
300
00:11:13,299 --> 00:11:14,425
Oh, my God.
301
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:15,468
What?
302
00:11:15,468 --> 00:11:17,261
You're Bob Ross!
303
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,596
Uh, yes.
304
00:11:18,596 --> 00:11:19,931
Yes, I am.
305
00:11:19,931 --> 00:11:21,933
Mr. Ross,
I am a huge fan of yours.
306
00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,559
Oh, uh, well, thanks.
307
00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:25,144
I love your whole
artistic philosophy.
308
00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:27,605
The way you assign a motion
to every tree and cloud.
309
00:11:27,605 --> 00:11:29,107
Yeah, well, great.
310
00:11:29,107 --> 00:11:30,566
Um, listen, we're going
to head to the adult section
311
00:11:30,566 --> 00:11:32,735
and find ourselves a happy,
little bush.
312
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,529
See you in a bit.
313
00:11:38,408 --> 00:11:40,284
OK.
314
00:11:40,284 --> 00:11:41,411
Wow.
315
00:11:41,411 --> 00:11:42,412
Looks like you're having
quite a marathon.
316
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:44,914
Uh, yes.
It's for a fundraiser.
317
00:11:44,914 --> 00:11:46,582
Oh, for what?
318
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,042
Jerking...
319
00:11:48,042 --> 00:11:50,002
for Muscular Dystrophy.
320
00:11:50,002 --> 00:11:51,713
Oh, yeah.
JMD, of course.
321
00:11:51,713 --> 00:11:54,549
Hey, is there a limit on
how many tapes you can rent?
322
00:11:54,549 --> 00:11:56,426
Not for you, Mr. Ross.
323
00:11:56,426 --> 00:11:58,052
All right, these tapes are
due back Thursday.
324
00:11:58,052 --> 00:12:00,430
There's an $80 fee for any
missing or damaged tapes.
325
00:12:00,430 --> 00:12:01,222
That's a lot of money.
326
00:12:01,222 --> 00:12:02,473
That's a lot of porn.
327
00:12:02,473 --> 00:12:04,976
You know, other people
want to masturbate, too!
328
00:12:04,976 --> 00:12:06,269
Not tonight, pal.
329
00:12:09,647 --> 00:12:11,190
OK.
330
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:19,240
Look at this place.
331
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,367
Isn't this a magical night?
332
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:23,494
My sock's got
a big hole in it.
333
00:12:23,494 --> 00:12:26,038
If I tear it off, will you
shove it in your purse?
334
00:12:26,038 --> 00:12:27,623
Oh, look, Matty!
335
00:12:27,623 --> 00:12:31,002
They have a whole man
just for the pepper!
336
00:12:31,002 --> 00:12:33,046
Oh, let's get something
that needs pepper.
337
00:12:33,046 --> 00:12:34,297
When I was his age,
338
00:12:34,297 --> 00:12:36,340
I was liberating Nha Trang
hut-by-hut.
339
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:39,010
But yeah, sure.
Pepper boy's good, too.
340
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:42,638
Gosh, everything's
just so fancy-schmancy.
341
00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,474
I feel like Academy Awards.
342
00:12:44,474 --> 00:12:46,559
Hi there. How are we doing
tonight, folks?
343
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,269
My sock's bugging me.
344
00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:50,229
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
345
00:12:50,229 --> 00:12:51,689
Can I take your order?
346
00:12:51,689 --> 00:12:53,691
Matty, he's so sweet.
347
00:12:53,691 --> 00:12:54,859
What's your name?
348
00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:56,319
Kevin, ma'am.
349
00:12:56,319 --> 00:12:58,237
Kevin, you go home,
you call your mother,
350
00:12:58,237 --> 00:13:00,323
and you tell her Susan Bennett
from Framingham
351
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,076
said you did an excellent job.
352
00:13:03,076 --> 00:13:04,869
My mother has
advanced Alzheimer's.
353
00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:06,913
She has no idea who I am.
354
00:13:06,913 --> 00:13:08,498
I'll have the crab.
355
00:13:08,498 --> 00:13:10,208
Let me ask
you a question there, Kev-o.
356
00:13:10,208 --> 00:13:12,210
Why is the New York strip
24 bucks
357
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,379
but at Rico's Market,
it's like 8?
358
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:16,255
Well, supermarket prices
and restaurant prices
359
00:13:16,255 --> 00:13:17,548
are different--
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
360
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:20,176
It's a pretty sweet markup,
16 bucks for heat.
361
00:13:20,176 --> 00:13:22,053
That seem fair to you,
Kev-o?
362
00:13:22,053 --> 00:13:23,679
You could order
the junior steak
363
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:25,223
off the kids menu for $9.
364
00:13:25,223 --> 00:13:27,767
Now we're getting somewhere.
OK.
365
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:29,852
See that, Susan?
He blinked first.
366
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,062
Comes with your choice
367
00:13:31,062 --> 00:13:33,064
of an activity booklet
or a silly straw.
368
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:34,148
Both, Kev-o.
369
00:13:34,148 --> 00:13:35,608
Pile it high and good!
370
00:13:35,608 --> 00:13:36,776
Yes, sir.
371
00:13:36,776 --> 00:13:38,361
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
372
00:13:38,361 --> 00:13:40,405
Hang on.
Do me a favor.
373
00:13:42,073 --> 00:13:43,116
Throw this out for me,
would you?
374
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:51,249
Wouldn't it be fun to be
a waiter on a cruise ship?
375
00:13:51,249 --> 00:13:54,419
Because when you're done,
you're already home.
376
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,463
I'm going to tell him that.
377
00:13:59,924 --> 00:14:01,426
All right, here we go.
378
00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:03,261
♪ Porno time, porno time ♪
379
00:14:03,261 --> 00:14:04,846
♪ Porno, porno, porno time! ♪
380
00:14:04,846 --> 00:14:06,180
Porno time!
381
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:07,390
- All right, let's put one in.
- All right.
382
00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:08,808
Wait, wait.
Hang on a second.
383
00:14:08,808 --> 00:14:10,810
Before we start, we got
to have some ground rules.
384
00:14:10,810 --> 00:14:11,978
What do you mean?
385
00:14:11,978 --> 00:14:13,646
Well, like,
where are you sitting?
386
00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:14,689
On the couch.
387
00:14:14,689 --> 00:14:15,732
Oh, no, no, no, no.
388
00:14:15,732 --> 00:14:17,316
I don't want you in my eyeline.
389
00:14:17,316 --> 00:14:19,694
OK, we could, like,
build a divider or something,
390
00:14:19,694 --> 00:14:21,070
like a pillow fort.
391
00:14:21,070 --> 00:14:22,697
Yeah, I don't know.
Maybe we should watch alone.
392
00:14:22,697 --> 00:14:24,157
Like in shifts.
393
00:14:24,157 --> 00:14:25,116
Yeah, I don't want
to watch porn alone.
394
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,492
That feels tragic.
395
00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:28,119
All right, then
we'll watch it together.
396
00:14:28,119 --> 00:14:29,370
Yeah, well that feels creepy.
397
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,747
John, we're watching porn.
398
00:14:30,747 --> 00:14:32,331
It's either going to be creepy
or tragic.
399
00:14:32,331 --> 00:14:33,499
Those are the choices.
400
00:14:33,499 --> 00:14:35,043
All right,
let's go with creepy.
401
00:14:35,043 --> 00:14:36,711
Which one are we starting with?
402
00:14:39,172 --> 00:14:40,214
How is everything?
403
00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:42,091
Oh, it's just wonderful.
404
00:14:42,091 --> 00:14:43,301
Not good, Kev-o.
405
00:14:43,301 --> 00:14:44,969
The word "apple"
ain't in here anywhere.
406
00:14:44,969 --> 00:14:46,846
They allow diagonal, sir.
407
00:14:46,846 --> 00:14:50,058
Well, they should put that
in the goddamn directions!
408
00:14:50,058 --> 00:14:51,100
I'll tell the chef.
409
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:52,310
Yeah.
410
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,604
Matty, you have
to try this crab.
411
00:14:54,604 --> 00:14:55,730
No, I'm fine.
412
00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:57,065
Oh, just one bite.
It's so delicious.
413
00:14:57,065 --> 00:14:58,357
I'm fine.
I got my own food.
414
00:14:58,357 --> 00:14:59,901
- Just a baby bite.
- I don't want any.
415
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,903
- Just try. Just one bite.
- Jesus Christ, Susan.
416
00:15:01,903 --> 00:15:03,154
Why is it always so important
417
00:15:03,154 --> 00:15:04,447
that I have some
of what you ordered?
418
00:15:04,447 --> 00:15:05,948
I want you to
have some of this
419
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,366
because I think you'll like it.
420
00:15:07,366 --> 00:15:08,493
Well if I wanted
the goddamn crab,
421
00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:09,994
I would have ordered
the goddamn crab!
422
00:15:09,994 --> 00:15:11,204
But in the car
on the way home,
423
00:15:11,204 --> 00:15:12,497
I can say, wasn't it good?
And you'll know.
424
00:15:12,497 --> 00:15:13,998
For fuck's sake!
All right!
425
00:15:13,998 --> 00:15:16,084
- You'll know.
- All right!
426
00:15:22,632 --> 00:15:23,800
Oh, goddamn it.
427
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:25,009
Goddamn it!
428
00:15:25,009 --> 00:15:26,052
That's better than
what I ordered!
429
00:15:26,052 --> 00:15:28,262
You see?
I knew you'd like it.
430
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,472
Shit!
431
00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:30,723
I can't wait
to talk about it later.
432
00:15:30,723 --> 00:15:33,393
I wish we were
in the car right now.
433
00:15:33,393 --> 00:15:34,727
Here.
434
00:15:34,727 --> 00:15:36,854
I got something for you.
435
00:15:36,854 --> 00:15:38,314
Oh, Matty, what is it?
436
00:15:38,314 --> 00:15:40,108
Just open it.
Be careful.
437
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:45,029
A nail?
438
00:15:45,029 --> 00:15:46,072
Yeah.
439
00:15:46,072 --> 00:15:47,490
Just before you're finished,
440
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:48,783
put that in what's left
of your food
441
00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,493
and then "find" it.
442
00:15:50,493 --> 00:15:51,953
Whole night will be comped.
443
00:15:51,953 --> 00:15:53,121
Hey, Kev-o!
444
00:15:53,121 --> 00:15:54,705
Hi, I'm Brad.
445
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:56,124
Kevin quit.
446
00:15:57,458 --> 00:15:58,626
Oh, how about this one?
447
00:15:58,626 --> 00:16:00,628
"Interracial Butt Fest."
448
00:16:00,628 --> 00:16:02,422
Oh, thank you, Dr. King.
449
00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:04,632
"Anal Screwlympics VIII."
450
00:16:04,632 --> 00:16:06,801
I didn't see the first seven.
I'm not going to understand it.
451
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:09,762
Man, this guy's running
his own three-legged race.
452
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:12,223
Oh, let's start with this one.
453
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,735
You sure
that's going to work?
454
00:16:23,735 --> 00:16:25,278
Yeah, I don't know.
455
00:16:25,278 --> 00:16:26,320
But all I'm
thinking about right
456
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:27,488
now is my dead relatives.
457
00:16:27,488 --> 00:16:28,448
Why?
458
00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:29,532
Well, Father White once said
459
00:16:29,532 --> 00:16:31,075
that if you ever masturbate,
460
00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:33,161
then all your dead relatives
are up in heaven watching you.
461
00:16:33,161 --> 00:16:35,079
How is that heaven?
462
00:16:35,079 --> 00:16:36,581
Boy, you know,
that is a great point.
463
00:16:36,581 --> 00:16:37,790
I mean,
are they up there like,
464
00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:39,167
"Hey, you want to go
to Abe Lincoln's house?"
465
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:40,293
"Yeah, I'd like to,
466
00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:41,419
"but my nephew
is gonna jerk off,
467
00:16:41,419 --> 00:16:42,712
so I got to go watch that."
468
00:16:42,712 --> 00:16:43,796
OK, so we're fine.
469
00:16:53,514 --> 00:16:54,932
All right.
470
00:16:56,267 --> 00:16:58,019
Oh, he's a doctor.
471
00:16:58,019 --> 00:17:00,396
Looks like it's his first day
at a new hospital.
472
00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:01,522
And that's usually the day
473
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:02,482
you have sex with everyone, right?
474
00:17:02,482 --> 00:17:04,525
Oh, it sure is, Johnny.
475
00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:05,693
Whoops.
476
00:17:05,693 --> 00:17:07,445
Oh, looks like all
her clothes fell off.
477
00:17:07,445 --> 00:17:10,490
Oh, here we go.
478
00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:12,116
That's a weird thermometer.
479
00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:13,451
Hey, that's funny.
480
00:17:13,451 --> 00:17:14,410
I thought they only took
your temperature like that
481
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,453
when you were a baby.
482
00:17:15,453 --> 00:17:16,788
Yeah, that's-that's not a--
483
00:17:16,788 --> 00:17:18,247
He's, like,
pulling it in and out.
484
00:17:18,247 --> 00:17:20,291
It's never going to get
an accurate reading like that.
485
00:17:22,377 --> 00:17:24,712
Oh. Well, I guess
her prostate's fine.
486
00:17:29,592 --> 00:17:31,636
- What happened?
- I don't know.
487
00:17:31,636 --> 00:17:33,012
Tape froze.
488
00:17:38,768 --> 00:17:40,853
It's stuck.
The tape's stuck!
489
00:17:40,853 --> 00:17:42,313
Oh, shit!
490
00:17:42,313 --> 00:17:43,689
It's not coming out.
What are we going to do?
491
00:17:43,689 --> 00:17:45,316
All right.
Don't panic, don't panic.
492
00:17:45,316 --> 00:17:46,359
Don't panic?
493
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:47,485
What the fuck am
I supposed to do?
494
00:17:47,485 --> 00:17:48,820
I just need a second
to think.
495
00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:50,321
No, there is a porno stuck
in the fucking VCR!
496
00:17:50,321 --> 00:17:51,322
- Just let me fucking think!
- What am I supposed to do?
497
00:17:51,322 --> 00:17:52,323
Just let me fucking think!
498
00:17:52,323 --> 00:17:54,826
Let me fucking think!
499
00:17:54,826 --> 00:17:57,036
OK, we're going to have to
take the machine apart.
500
00:17:57,036 --> 00:17:58,496
All right.
501
00:18:00,957 --> 00:18:02,875
I can't even open it.
There's no screws.
502
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:03,918
It's just rivets.
503
00:18:03,918 --> 00:18:04,919
OK, I got it, I got it.
504
00:18:04,919 --> 00:18:06,462
We got to swap out VCRs.
505
00:18:06,462 --> 00:18:08,464
Get rid of this one,
replace it with a new one.
506
00:18:08,464 --> 00:18:10,258
How are we going to find
a new VCR tonight?
507
00:18:10,258 --> 00:18:12,176
Even if shit was still open,
we got no money.
508
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:13,636
And anyways,
this is an older model.
509
00:18:13,636 --> 00:18:16,013
You probably can't even
fucking find it anymore.
510
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:17,306
Yes, you can.
511
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,850
The AV room at school!
They got one there.
512
00:18:18,850 --> 00:18:20,226
We can go get it tonight.
513
00:18:20,226 --> 00:18:22,019
Going into school
after hours?
514
00:18:22,019 --> 00:18:23,020
Won't that look suspicious?
515
00:18:23,020 --> 00:18:24,021
There's a game tonight.
516
00:18:24,021 --> 00:18:25,189
The school's open.
517
00:18:25,189 --> 00:18:26,399
We dress like
basketball players
518
00:18:26,399 --> 00:18:27,650
and if anyone sees us,
519
00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:29,235
they'll think we're there
for the game.
520
00:18:29,235 --> 00:18:31,237
If we blow this, everybody's
going to know we're perverts.
521
00:18:31,237 --> 00:18:32,864
Jesus.
522
00:18:32,864 --> 00:18:34,907
All this work, and we didn't
even get to have an orgasm.
523
00:18:34,907 --> 00:18:36,701
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
524
00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:40,037
Yeah, man, that fucking sucks,
both of us...
525
00:18:40,037 --> 00:18:41,414
didn't.
526
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:44,584
I just don't understand it.
527
00:18:44,584 --> 00:18:45,835
I mean, we're not
under construction.
528
00:18:45,835 --> 00:18:48,046
Well, you know,
the good news is she saw it.
529
00:18:48,046 --> 00:18:49,338
Otherwise...
530
00:18:49,338 --> 00:18:51,424
She could have died.
531
00:18:51,424 --> 00:18:52,717
Right, Susan?
532
00:18:52,717 --> 00:18:54,719
You could have died
if you ate a nail.
533
00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:57,847
I guess I could have died
if I ate a nail.
534
00:18:57,847 --> 00:19:00,266
I am so deeply sorry,
Mrs. Bennett.
535
00:19:00,266 --> 00:19:02,560
Of course,
your entire evening is comped.
536
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,228
And if there's anything else
we can do for you,
537
00:19:04,228 --> 00:19:05,271
please tell us.
538
00:19:05,271 --> 00:19:07,565
Yeah, you see that old-timey
539
00:19:07,565 --> 00:19:10,276
diver's helmet you got there
in the window?
540
00:19:10,276 --> 00:19:12,028
I want you to fill it
with shrimp.
541
00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:23,122
Wasn't the crab good?
542
00:19:30,588 --> 00:19:33,257
OK, almost got it.
543
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:34,842
Ah.
There we go.
544
00:19:35,718 --> 00:19:38,096
OK, you stay here, I'm going to
make sure the coast is clear.
545
00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:39,097
OK.
546
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:43,518
- Ice it up, Hampton.
547
00:19:43,518 --> 00:19:44,560
You'll be fine.
548
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,770
I don't know, Coach.
549
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:47,397
I think I heard it break.
- A little ice.
550
00:19:47,397 --> 00:19:49,107
Best thing for it.
551
00:19:49,107 --> 00:19:50,108
Hey, Bennett!
552
00:19:50,108 --> 00:19:51,317
Uh, yeah?
553
00:19:51,317 --> 00:19:52,777
We're a man down.
Get in there!
554
00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:54,529
No forfeit! We got a player!
555
00:19:54,529 --> 00:19:55,863
Actually, Coach,
you know I'm not--
556
00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:58,282
Now, Bennett!
We got a game to win!
557
00:20:04,122 --> 00:20:06,374
Ain't so fucking hard.
558
00:20:06,374 --> 00:20:07,917
Let's get the hell out of here.
559
00:20:11,838 --> 00:20:14,507
Jesus.
What a night, huh?
560
00:20:16,134 --> 00:20:18,302
Matty.
561
00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,430
What you did there was a sin.
562
00:20:20,430 --> 00:20:21,723
You lied to them.
563
00:20:21,723 --> 00:20:23,808
Ah, they lied to us first.
564
00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:25,935
Goddamn steak
doesn't cost 24 bucks.
565
00:20:25,935 --> 00:20:27,353
We're even.
566
00:20:27,353 --> 00:20:30,189
And the best part is
I didn't even have to use this.
567
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:31,774
What is that?
568
00:20:31,774 --> 00:20:34,152
A coupon for one free meal
at Chuck's Steak House.
569
00:20:34,152 --> 00:20:38,030
So all in, we get three free
dinners for the price of one.
570
00:20:38,030 --> 00:20:40,366
Is that why you wanted
to go out to dinner?
571
00:20:40,366 --> 00:20:41,868
Because you had a coupon?
572
00:20:41,868 --> 00:20:45,413
I had a beautiful woman
on my arm and I spent no money.
573
00:20:45,413 --> 00:20:46,706
A perfect evening.
574
00:20:46,706 --> 00:20:48,499
And the activity book!
575
00:20:48,499 --> 00:20:49,667
Hey, Johnny!
576
00:20:49,667 --> 00:20:53,087
Your old man solved a maze
tonight!
577
00:20:53,087 --> 00:20:54,213
It's Friday night.
578
00:20:54,213 --> 00:20:55,214
He's probably
at the basketball game.
579
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:56,174
You're going up?
580
00:20:56,174 --> 00:20:57,675
Uh, no.
581
00:20:57,675 --> 00:21:00,011
I think I'll stay up
for a while and watch TV.
582
00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:01,012
Suit yourself.
583
00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:02,305
Mwah!
584
00:21:02,305 --> 00:21:04,557
I'm going to roll around in bed
and try to burp.
585
00:21:28,498 --> 00:21:30,208
Oh--
586
00:21:43,846 --> 00:21:46,349
- Oh, yeah!
- Yes!
587
00:21:47,725 --> 00:21:49,560
Oh, my God!
588
00:22:05,368 --> 00:22:06,994
- Hey.
589
00:22:06,994 --> 00:22:09,372
Knock it off.
590
00:22:15,753 --> 00:22:17,463
You know, I just
realized we probably
591
00:22:17,463 --> 00:22:19,590
could have just dressed like
ourselves going to the game.
592
00:22:19,590 --> 00:22:21,426
Hey, shh!
The lights are out.
593
00:22:21,426 --> 00:22:24,387
Mom and Dad must be asleep.
594
00:22:24,387 --> 00:22:26,973
All right, I'll swap it out.
You make sure no one's coming.
595
00:22:26,973 --> 00:22:28,266
Right.
596
00:22:34,439 --> 00:22:35,773
All right, it's done.
597
00:22:35,773 --> 00:22:38,151
Not quite. We still got to
get that tape out.
598
00:22:45,366 --> 00:22:46,451
The fuck?
599
00:22:46,451 --> 00:22:50,163
- Oh, shit.
- It's gone!
600
00:22:55,043 --> 00:22:56,294
OK, let's-
let's just calm down here.
601
00:22:56,294 --> 00:22:57,962
What do you mean calm down?
The tape's gone!
602
00:22:57,962 --> 00:23:00,548
It can't just be gone.
It's got to be somewhere.
603
00:23:00,548 --> 00:23:02,508
Oh, shit.
604
00:23:02,508 --> 00:23:04,469
Ah shit.
- What, what, what?
605
00:23:04,469 --> 00:23:05,636
Somebody found it.
606
00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:07,180
Somebody found it
and they took it.
607
00:23:07,180 --> 00:23:09,307
Oh, shit.
608
00:23:09,307 --> 00:23:12,477
OK, tomorrow, when everyone's
out, we search the house.
609
00:23:12,477 --> 00:23:13,561
What if we don't find it?
610
00:23:13,561 --> 00:23:14,771
Then we'll have to
611
00:23:14,771 --> 00:23:16,147
rent the same movie
from another store
612
00:23:16,147 --> 00:23:17,774
and return it
to the first store
613
00:23:17,774 --> 00:23:19,650
and we'll have to do that
every three days
614
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:20,818
until the end of time.
615
00:23:20,818 --> 00:23:22,153
Oh, my God.
616
00:23:22,153 --> 00:23:25,448
Yeah.
Like a Pornzi scheme.
617
00:23:27,116 --> 00:23:30,203
Yeah, we're in trouble, but we
can still have fun with words.
618
00:24:04,529 --> 00:24:07,281
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
619
00:24:09,450 --> 00:24:10,785
Hello, Susan.
620
00:24:10,785 --> 00:24:12,995
Oh, dear.
621
00:24:12,995 --> 00:24:15,164
I wish you'd close it
this time.
622
00:24:15,164 --> 00:24:17,708
We're all sinners
in God's eyes.
623
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:20,962
Well...
624
00:24:20,962 --> 00:24:23,798
I saw a porno, Father.
625
00:24:23,798 --> 00:24:25,425
Oh.
626
00:24:25,425 --> 00:24:28,678
And how did you come
to see this, Susan?
627
00:24:28,678 --> 00:24:31,305
Matty left it in the VCR.
628
00:24:31,305 --> 00:24:33,850
Earlier that night,
we went out to dinner.
629
00:24:33,850 --> 00:24:35,143
And I thought he was
630
00:24:35,143 --> 00:24:37,270
taking me out
for a romantic evening
631
00:24:37,270 --> 00:24:41,190
just the two of us,
so I got all dressed up.
632
00:24:41,190 --> 00:24:43,985
And he didn't even notice.
633
00:24:43,985 --> 00:24:47,447
And then I found out
that he had a coupon.
634
00:24:47,447 --> 00:24:51,784
And that's why
he wanted to go out.
635
00:24:51,784 --> 00:24:54,746
And Father, maybe...
636
00:24:54,746 --> 00:24:57,457
I'm not what he wants anymore.
637
00:24:57,457 --> 00:25:01,461
Susan, I'm sure
it's not as bad as all that.
638
00:25:01,461 --> 00:25:04,964
Husbands and wives
have different sensibilities.
639
00:25:04,964 --> 00:25:06,591
There's a reason
the Lord made it
640
00:25:06,591 --> 00:25:10,178
so that a man can masturbate
and a woman cannot.
641
00:25:10,178 --> 00:25:11,929
W-well, that's true.
642
00:25:11,929 --> 00:25:13,639
And as for what you saw,
643
00:25:13,639 --> 00:25:16,476
God understands that
you didn't seek it out.
644
00:25:16,476 --> 00:25:19,187
And as long as the man
and the woman in the film
645
00:25:19,187 --> 00:25:22,106
are married
and not using birth control,
646
00:25:22,106 --> 00:25:23,983
I don't think you have anything
to worry about.
647
00:25:23,983 --> 00:25:27,987
It wasn't just
a man and a woman.
648
00:25:27,987 --> 00:25:31,657
There-there was another woman, too.
649
00:25:31,657 --> 00:25:33,159
I see.
650
00:25:33,159 --> 00:25:36,204
Although she wasn't
really participating.
651
00:25:36,204 --> 00:25:40,750
She was just sort of
choking the other girl.
652
00:25:40,750 --> 00:25:43,169
Well, Matty is your husband.
653
00:25:43,169 --> 00:25:44,921
And if one of you is bored
in the marriage,
654
00:25:44,921 --> 00:25:46,672
then the other may
wish to consider
655
00:25:46,672 --> 00:25:50,676
how to address that and ways
to make things more exciting.
656
00:25:50,676 --> 00:25:56,099
Remember, nothing is wrong
if you don't enjoy it too much.
657
00:25:56,099 --> 00:25:58,851
Well, I could certainly try.
658
00:25:58,851 --> 00:26:01,437
Good, good.
659
00:26:01,437 --> 00:26:05,483
So the choking,
was she upset by it?
660
00:26:05,483 --> 00:26:07,860
- Or--
- I should probably get home.
661
00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:10,321
All right.
To be continued.
662
00:26:19,705 --> 00:26:20,998
No.
663
00:26:22,917 --> 00:26:24,544
Johnny!
664
00:26:24,544 --> 00:26:25,378
Johnny, I found it.
665
00:26:25,378 --> 00:26:27,296
Oh, fuck.
Thank God.
666
00:26:27,296 --> 00:26:29,132
I know.
I just saved us bucks.
667
00:26:29,132 --> 00:26:31,092
Wait, where was it?
668
00:26:31,092 --> 00:26:32,927
Well, it was, uh--
669
00:26:32,927 --> 00:26:34,721
it was in Susan's
underwear drawer.
670
00:26:34,721 --> 00:26:36,305
What?
671
00:26:36,305 --> 00:26:37,932
Yeah, it was behind the ones
with the pineapples on it.
672
00:26:37,932 --> 00:26:39,434
No, no, no! I don't want to
hear about my mom's underpants.
673
00:26:39,434 --> 00:26:41,561
Oh, but her diarrhea you
bring up at the drop of a hat.
674
00:26:41,561 --> 00:26:44,897
Teddy,
do you know what this means?
675
00:26:44,897 --> 00:26:47,066
Mom found "Genital Hospital."
676
00:26:47,066 --> 00:26:49,068
She knows I watch porn!
677
00:26:49,068 --> 00:26:50,403
Oh, boy.
It looks that way.
678
00:26:50,403 --> 00:26:52,488
I can never face her again.
679
00:26:52,488 --> 00:26:54,615
We have to run away,
never to return.
680
00:26:54,615 --> 00:26:56,033
I see no other option.
681
00:26:56,033 --> 00:26:58,369
I'm going to miss this house.
682
00:26:58,369 --> 00:27:00,329
Goodbye,
water-stained ceilings.
683
00:27:00,329 --> 00:27:03,416
Goodbye, silverware drawer
that doesn't close all the way.
684
00:27:03,416 --> 00:27:05,168
Goodbye,
windows painted shut.
685
00:27:05,168 --> 00:27:07,837
Goodbye, door you have
to lean on to close.
686
00:27:07,837 --> 00:27:11,007
Goodbye, peeling wallpaper
that reveals other wallpaper.
687
00:27:11,007 --> 00:27:13,259
Goodbye, carpet
that's never been dry.
688
00:27:13,259 --> 00:27:15,303
Goodbye,
unpermitted bathroom addition.
689
00:27:15,303 --> 00:27:18,181
Goodbye, lamp that shocks
you every time you touch it.
690
00:27:18,181 --> 00:27:20,683
Goodbye, picture of a pope
from two popes ago.
691
00:27:20,683 --> 00:27:23,603
Goodbye, plastic bag
full of plastic bags.
692
00:27:23,603 --> 00:27:26,272
Goodbye, medicine cabinet
with black mold in the corner.
693
00:27:26,272 --> 00:27:27,774
Jesus, let's get
the fuck out of here.
694
00:27:27,774 --> 00:27:29,233
Yeah, no shit.
695
00:27:34,697 --> 00:27:35,740
We sure would like it
696
00:27:35,740 --> 00:27:38,743
if you'd help us
with our problem.
697
00:27:38,743 --> 00:27:40,328
Only problem you've got,
Sheriff,
698
00:27:40,328 --> 00:27:42,455
is a short supply of guts.
699
00:27:42,455 --> 00:27:45,291
You people don't need me.
700
00:27:45,917 --> 00:27:49,087
Look, place at least
a couple good riflemen
701
00:27:49,087 --> 00:27:51,756
on top of that building
up there.
702
00:27:51,756 --> 00:27:53,841
Maybe a couple more
with shotguns down
703
00:27:53,841 --> 00:27:55,301
behind green bags over there.
704
00:27:55,301 --> 00:27:57,595
What you watching?
705
00:27:57,595 --> 00:27:59,639
"High Plains Drifter."
706
00:27:59,639 --> 00:28:01,349
It's Clint Eastwood week.
707
00:28:01,349 --> 00:28:02,558
Oh.
708
00:28:02,558 --> 00:28:03,851
What's it about?
709
00:28:03,851 --> 00:28:05,686
Oh, he's a cowboy.
710
00:28:05,686 --> 00:28:08,106
But at the end,
you realize he's a ghost.
711
00:28:08,106 --> 00:28:09,649
But he can still shoot a gun,
712
00:28:09,649 --> 00:28:12,276
so, you know, not like--
he's not like a real ghost.
713
00:28:12,276 --> 00:28:14,404
Matty, honey,
714
00:28:14,404 --> 00:28:16,364
can we talk about that movie
715
00:28:16,364 --> 00:28:19,534
that you were watching
yesterday?
716
00:28:19,534 --> 00:28:21,327
I can't remember what it was.
717
00:28:21,327 --> 00:28:23,246
They're all kind
of the same movie.
718
00:28:23,246 --> 00:28:26,749
Are you entertained by them?
719
00:28:26,749 --> 00:28:29,836
I'm a guy.
I mean, all guys like 'em.
720
00:28:29,836 --> 00:28:32,755
Is that what you want?
721
00:28:32,755 --> 00:28:34,590
What you see in those movies?
722
00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:37,427
God no.
I just--I just watch 'em.
723
00:28:37,427 --> 00:28:41,305
Well is there one
you like best?
724
00:28:41,305 --> 00:28:43,558
I like
"Every Which Way But Loose."
725
00:28:43,558 --> 00:28:44,642
Oh.
726
00:28:44,642 --> 00:28:46,227
Yeah, that one's crazy.
727
00:28:46,227 --> 00:28:48,438
There's a monkey that
gives everybody the finger.
728
00:28:48,438 --> 00:28:50,022
- Oh.
729
00:28:50,022 --> 00:28:52,567
Yeah, I'd love to see that.
730
00:28:52,567 --> 00:28:53,735
Wow.
731
00:28:54,235 --> 00:28:57,572
It is getting hot in here.
732
00:28:59,615 --> 00:29:01,659
Powerful hot.
733
00:29:01,659 --> 00:29:03,077
We can't run
the air conditioner.
734
00:29:03,077 --> 00:29:04,537
Found a dead bird in it.
735
00:29:04,537 --> 00:29:06,372
Repair guy says we got to wait
till its guts dry out
736
00:29:06,372 --> 00:29:08,166
before we run the unit again.
737
00:29:08,166 --> 00:29:10,835
Well I wouldn't know
about that.
738
00:29:10,835 --> 00:29:12,837
I'm just a girl.
739
00:29:38,196 --> 00:29:40,156
What are you doing?
740
00:29:40,156 --> 00:29:41,741
I wanted a banana.
741
00:29:41,741 --> 00:29:42,784
Well, then eat it.
742
00:29:42,784 --> 00:29:44,243
Why the hell are you
staring at me?
743
00:29:44,243 --> 00:29:46,245
Because...
744
00:29:46,245 --> 00:29:48,498
I've been bad.
745
00:29:48,498 --> 00:29:49,874
What do you mean
you've been bad?
746
00:29:49,874 --> 00:29:50,917
You--
747
00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:52,085
oh, Jesus Christ, Susan.
748
00:29:52,085 --> 00:29:53,586
Is that the last one?
749
00:29:53,586 --> 00:29:54,837
God damn it!
750
00:29:54,837 --> 00:29:57,215
Now what am I supposed
to have for my snack?
751
00:29:59,217 --> 00:30:00,426
Oh!
Oh great, Susan!
752
00:30:00,426 --> 00:30:02,178
A Pringles can with one left!
753
00:30:02,178 --> 00:30:04,013
That'll be satisfying!
754
00:30:04,013 --> 00:30:05,098
Ow!
755
00:30:05,098 --> 00:30:06,849
Fucking lamp shocked me again!
756
00:30:10,561 --> 00:30:11,771
Yeah?
757
00:30:14,065 --> 00:30:15,441
Aunt Suze, what's up?
758
00:30:15,441 --> 00:30:17,485
Blaire, can I talk to you
for a minute?
759
00:30:17,485 --> 00:30:19,612
Sure.
Yeah, come on in.
760
00:30:23,032 --> 00:30:26,786
What, uh, what's the matter?
761
00:30:26,786 --> 00:30:28,538
Well...
762
00:30:28,538 --> 00:30:32,834
last night,
Matty and I went out to dinner.
763
00:30:32,834 --> 00:30:34,877
I got all dressed up.
764
00:30:34,877 --> 00:30:39,132
I rubbed on a Clinique sampler
from Redbook.
765
00:30:39,132 --> 00:30:41,634
I don't even think he noticed.
766
00:30:41,634 --> 00:30:47,306
And then when we got home,
I turned on the TV.
767
00:30:47,306 --> 00:30:51,686
And I found...
768
00:30:51,686 --> 00:30:54,230
What?
769
00:30:54,230 --> 00:30:57,233
A porn.
770
00:30:57,233 --> 00:30:58,484
Oh.
771
00:30:58,484 --> 00:31:01,988
I think Matty's
been watching porns.
772
00:31:01,988 --> 00:31:03,197
Right.
773
00:31:03,197 --> 00:31:05,825
Do you think maybe he--
774
00:31:05,825 --> 00:31:08,870
doesn't think
I'm exciting anymore?
775
00:31:08,870 --> 00:31:10,496
Am I a disappointment?
776
00:31:10,496 --> 00:31:12,373
No, absolutely not,
Aunt Suze.
777
00:31:12,373 --> 00:31:13,833
Listen to me.
778
00:31:13,833 --> 00:31:17,420
You are probably the most
wonderful person that I know.
779
00:31:17,420 --> 00:31:20,298
But if that's what he wants,
what can I do?
780
00:31:20,298 --> 00:31:22,341
I don't want to have to choke
other women.
781
00:31:22,341 --> 00:31:23,676
Yeah,
I don't think you need to.
782
00:31:23,676 --> 00:31:25,762
But I'll do it
if that's what Matty wants.
783
00:31:25,762 --> 00:31:26,721
No, let's not go
down that route.
784
00:31:26,721 --> 00:31:28,514
I'll do what those women did.
785
00:31:28,514 --> 00:31:29,974
I really don't think
that's necessary.
786
00:31:29,974 --> 00:31:32,351
I-I-I'll even do what
Dr. Sausage did in that movie.
787
00:31:32,351 --> 00:31:33,352
I'll do it.
- OK--
788
00:31:33,352 --> 00:31:35,021
- I'll do it.
- Stop.
789
00:31:35,021 --> 00:31:36,189
Look.
790
00:31:36,189 --> 00:31:40,151
This is difficult for me
to say, but, um,
791
00:31:40,151 --> 00:31:44,113
the tape you found...
792
00:31:44,113 --> 00:31:46,115
it's mine.
793
00:31:46,115 --> 00:31:47,116
What?
794
00:31:47,116 --> 00:31:48,326
I'm sorry.
795
00:31:48,326 --> 00:31:49,952
I apologize
for being so careless.
796
00:31:49,952 --> 00:31:52,205
I never should have left it
in the VCR.
797
00:31:52,205 --> 00:31:53,206
It was stupid.
798
00:31:53,206 --> 00:31:54,791
So it's not Matty's?
799
00:31:54,791 --> 00:31:56,292
No, it's not.
800
00:31:57,502 --> 00:32:01,381
Oh!
Oh, my God!
801
00:32:01,381 --> 00:32:03,925
Oh, I'm so relieved!
- Good.
802
00:32:03,925 --> 00:32:07,220
I thought Matty was
bored with me.
803
00:32:07,220 --> 00:32:08,679
Oh, Blaire.
804
00:32:08,679 --> 00:32:11,015
I--ew.
805
00:32:11,015 --> 00:32:13,142
Why did you have a porn?
806
00:32:13,142 --> 00:32:15,269
I would say a porn-o.
807
00:32:15,269 --> 00:32:17,021
Just hits the ear better.
808
00:32:17,021 --> 00:32:18,981
Why were you watching porn-o?
809
00:32:18,981 --> 00:32:22,568
Well, OK, in that context,
you'd say porn.
810
00:32:22,568 --> 00:32:25,029
See, if there's an article
in front of it like an "a"
811
00:32:25,029 --> 00:32:27,281
or a "the," it's a porno.
812
00:32:27,281 --> 00:32:30,785
But if not, it's just porn.
813
00:32:31,494 --> 00:32:33,413
I'm just not going
to say it anymore.
814
00:32:33,413 --> 00:32:38,042
OK. Look, to answer
your question, it...
815
00:32:38,042 --> 00:32:40,294
it was a sorority thing.
816
00:32:40,294 --> 00:32:41,671
We rented a dirty movie.
817
00:32:41,671 --> 00:32:43,965
It was--
you know how sororities are.
818
00:32:43,965 --> 00:32:45,675
It's like a prank.
819
00:32:45,675 --> 00:32:48,344
Oh!
Oh, it was a prank.
820
00:32:48,344 --> 00:32:50,555
- Yeah.
- Oh!
821
00:32:50,555 --> 00:32:53,641
So Matty and I are just fine!
822
00:32:53,641 --> 00:32:56,394
I would say this one thing
isn't a problem.
823
00:32:56,394 --> 00:32:59,272
But it's--
824
00:32:59,272 --> 00:33:01,566
well, I'd call it
a work in progress.
825
00:33:01,566 --> 00:33:05,862
And for the record,
Aunt Suze,
826
00:33:05,862 --> 00:33:09,907
I don't think anybody
ever could be bored with you.
827
00:33:09,907 --> 00:33:12,702
Matty is not great
at communication.
828
00:33:12,702 --> 00:33:15,788
But unless he's
completely blind or insane,
829
00:33:15,788 --> 00:33:19,292
I bet he still loves you
a whole lot.
830
00:33:19,292 --> 00:33:21,252
- Come here.
- Mm.
831
00:33:21,252 --> 00:33:22,462
Aw.
832
00:33:25,882 --> 00:33:29,844
I hope one day,
you'll find your Matty.
833
00:33:29,844 --> 00:33:32,638
Oh, that's--
834
00:33:32,638 --> 00:33:33,973
I'm going to be just fine.
835
00:33:33,973 --> 00:33:34,932
Let's pray.
836
00:33:53,868 --> 00:33:55,453
Where are we going to go,
Teddy?
837
00:33:55,453 --> 00:33:57,163
I was thinking Saudi Arabia.
838
00:33:57,163 --> 00:33:59,999
I hear nobody's ashamed
to masturbate there.
839
00:33:59,999 --> 00:34:01,876
What do you think they're
doing back at the house?
840
00:34:01,876 --> 00:34:05,296
Probably the same thing
we're doing but with a table.
841
00:34:05,296 --> 00:34:06,839
God.
842
00:34:06,839 --> 00:34:09,801
We watched six seconds of porn
and it ruined our lives.
843
00:34:09,801 --> 00:34:11,511
Relax, losers.
844
00:34:11,511 --> 00:34:13,679
Your lives aren't ruined.
845
00:34:13,679 --> 00:34:14,472
Yet.
846
00:34:14,472 --> 00:34:15,807
Blaire.
847
00:34:15,807 --> 00:34:17,350
Oh, you're a sight
for sore eyes, you are.
848
00:34:17,350 --> 00:34:19,102
Good Lord,
look how you've grown.
849
00:34:19,102 --> 00:34:20,228
How'd you find us?
850
00:34:20,228 --> 00:34:22,980
Uh, harmonica music
really carries.
851
00:34:22,980 --> 00:34:26,025
Listen, uh, you don't have
to worry about the porno,
852
00:34:26,025 --> 00:34:27,026
all right?
853
00:34:27,026 --> 00:34:28,277
I took the heat for you.
854
00:34:28,277 --> 00:34:29,612
What?
855
00:34:29,612 --> 00:34:31,989
I told Aunt Suze
that the tape was mine.
856
00:34:31,989 --> 00:34:33,074
You can come home now.
857
00:34:33,074 --> 00:34:36,702
Blaire, you--
you did that for us?
858
00:34:36,702 --> 00:34:39,789
Uh, no.
I really did it for Susan.
859
00:34:39,789 --> 00:34:41,958
She was upset enough because
she thought it was Matty's.
860
00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,877
If she found out it was yours,
she'd probably cry for a year.
861
00:34:44,877 --> 00:34:47,755
Jesus Christ, Blaire.
Thank you so much.
862
00:34:47,755 --> 00:34:48,631
Yeah.
863
00:34:48,631 --> 00:34:50,049
We really owe you big time.
864
00:34:50,049 --> 00:34:51,509
Oh, yeah, you do.
865
00:34:51,509 --> 00:34:53,720
Now, put out your dumb fire
and let's get out of here.
866
00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:56,013
I love that plan.
Because you know what?
867
00:34:56,013 --> 00:34:57,724
We got a porno to return.
868
00:34:57,724 --> 00:34:59,225
And I'll tell you one thing.
869
00:34:59,225 --> 00:35:01,060
I would never watch porn again.
870
00:35:01,060 --> 00:35:03,354
Even if it was everywhere,
all the time.
871
00:35:03,354 --> 00:35:05,565
Even if I had, like, a weird,
little device in my pocket
872
00:35:05,565 --> 00:35:06,899
that would give it to me
whenever I wanted
873
00:35:06,899 --> 00:35:08,651
so I could jerk off
at a moment's notice.
874
00:35:08,651 --> 00:35:10,486
No.
Never again.
875
00:35:12,905 --> 00:35:15,658
{\an8}narrator:
John kept his promise.
876
00:35:15,658 --> 00:35:17,493
{\an8}For the next two years.
877
00:35:17,493 --> 00:35:21,456
{\an8}Then, within five minutes
of discovering the internet,
878
00:35:21,456 --> 00:35:23,791
{\an8}he pulled on his penis
so hard,
879
00:35:23,791 --> 00:35:26,169
{\an8}it damn near came off.
880
00:35:26,169 --> 00:35:27,253
{\an8}That didn't deter him
881
00:35:27,253 --> 00:35:29,881
{\an8}from masturbating
four more times
882
00:35:29,881 --> 00:35:32,425
{\an8}before going
to a local urgent care,
883
00:35:32,425 --> 00:35:33,843
{\an8}where he waited eight hours
884
00:35:33,843 --> 00:35:36,220
{\an8}in line behind dozens
of other men
885
00:35:36,220 --> 00:35:38,806
{\an8}who had also nearly
pulled their penises off
886
00:35:38,806 --> 00:35:41,100
{\an8}after discovering
the internet.
887
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:44,228
{\an8}And now, today,
anyone you talk to
888
00:35:44,228 --> 00:35:47,440
{\an8}has jerked off
within the last 20 minutes.
889
00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,233
{\an8}This is Ian McKellen,
890
00:35:49,233 --> 00:35:53,279
{\an8}reminding you:
don't shake anyone's hand.
891
00:35:53,279 --> 00:35:55,281
{\an8}Good night.
892
00:36:04,499 --> 00:36:08,878
♪ Oh, you've got a headful
of someone dreadful ♪
893
00:36:08,878 --> 00:36:12,131
♪ And yet, alas,
that someone adores you ♪
894
00:36:13,674 --> 00:36:17,428
♪ Everybody needs
a best friend ♪
895
00:36:17,428 --> 00:36:19,931
♪ I'm happy I'm yours ♪
896
00:36:19,931 --> 00:36:23,434
♪ I'm just a clown ♪
897
00:36:23,434 --> 00:36:26,896
♪ And I'll bring you down ♪
898
00:36:26,896 --> 00:36:32,985
♪ But you just don't care
'cause your ♪
899
00:36:32,985 --> 00:36:35,029
♪ Best friend is me ♪
63731
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