All language subtitles for Tom Waits - Big Time (1988)2

[ "Auld Lang Syne" playing ]

[ distant fireworks explode ]

[ crowd chattering ]

Man: A HAPPY NEW YEAR,
EVERYBODY.

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

[ "Auld Lang Syne"
rises, then fades ]

[ clock ticking;
man muttering ]

[ alarm rings ]

[ muttering ]

[ electric razor buzzes ]

[ television announcer
speaking Spanish ]

[ Spanish continues ]

[ gunshot ricochets ]

[ television audio drifts
from channel to channel ]

[ television announcer
speaking Spanish ]

...MICHAEL BLAIR,

GREG COHEN,

RALPH CARNEY,

MARC RIBOT,

WILLIE SCHWARZ...

Man: ...WELL, THIS IS
A STORY ABOUT A GUY
NAMED FRANK O'BRIEN.

Spanish Announcer:
MR. ENTERTAINMENT,
TOM WAITS.

WELL, FRANK, YOU KNOW,
WHY, HE, UH...

LIKE A LOT OF GUYS,
HE SETTLED DOWN
OUT IN THE VALLEY,

AND HE HUNG HIS WILD YEARS
ON A NAIL THAT HE DROVE

RIGHT THROUGH
HIS WIFE'S FOREHEAD.

[ scattered laughter ]Woman: OH, GREAT.

HE SOLD USED OFFICE FURNITURE
OUT THERE ON SAN FERNANDO ROAD.

HE ASSUMED A $30,000 LOAN
AT 15.25%.

THEY PUT A DOWN PAYMENT ON
A NICE LITTLE 2-BEDROOM PLACE.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
WHAT THE HELL'S
WRONG WITH THAT?

WELL, HIS WIFE,
WELL, I DON'T KNOW--

SHE WAS A DOLL,
SHE WAS A BABE,
SHE WAS A KILLER,

SHE WAS A SPENT PIECE
OF USED JET TRASH.

[ laughter ]

NO, YOU TOOK THAT WRONG.

[ isolated applause ]

I LOVED BEVERLY.

I LOVED HER OFTEN.

OKAY. SHE MADE
GOOD BLOODY MARIES,

SHE KEPT HER MOUTH SHUT
MOST OF THE TIME.

ALL RIGHT, THEY HAD
A SELF-CLEANING OVEN.

YOU KNOW, THE WHOLE BIT.

THEY HAD A LITTLE
CHIHUAHUA NAMED CARLOS.

I LOVE DOGS.
LET IT BE KNOWN,
I LOVE DOGS...

BUT I DRAW THE LINE.

A DOG... IS A DOG.

HE HAD SOME KIND
OF SKIN DISEASE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS.

WE TRIED EVERYTHING,
YOU KNOW?

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
IMPETIGO? IS IT SCABIES?

I DON'T KNOW.
CAN I GET IT TOO?

YOU KNOW, COME ON.

I'M NOT A DOCTOR,
ALL RIGHT?

AND ON AND ON AND ON.

ANYWAY...

SO, ANYWAY, FRANK'S
ON HIS WAY FROM WORK
ONE NIGHT.

HE STOPS AT THE LIQUOR STORE.

HE PICKS UP A COUPLE
OF MINKY'S BIG MOUTHS

AND DRINKS 'EM IN THE CAR
ON THE WAY TO THE SHELL STATION.

GOES AND GETS A GALLON
OF GAS IN A CAN--

A NORMAL ACTIVITY
FOR A MAN HIS AGE.

AN INNOCENT GAS CAN
FILLED WITH HIGH TEST.

[ scattered applause ]

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED.
HE DROVE HOME.

YOU GOT THE GAS.

YOU GOT A LOT OF RATTAN
FURNITURE IN THE HOUSE.

ALL RIGHT?

IT COULD HAPPEN, YOU KNOW--
GAS AND FURNITURE, YOU KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF THERE WAS
A MATCH INVOLVED.

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S PHYSICS, ALL RIGHT?

WHAT DO YOU
WANT ME TO SAY?

ANYWAY, YOU KNOW,
THE WHOLE THING'S
UP IN SMOKE,

AND FRANK PARKED
ACROSS THE STREET
LAUGHING,

KIND OF LIKE THIS--

[ phantom siren wails ][ wheezing laughter ]

AND THEN FRANK GOT ON
THE HOLLYWOOD FREEWAY....

...HEADING NORTH.

HE PUT THE CHAIR BACK
TO AN ENTIRE RECLINING POSITION,

STARING AT THE HEADLINER.

HE JUST NEVER COULD
STAND THAT DOG.

[ scattered applause ]

AND SO FRANK FOLLOWED
THE HOLLYWOOD FREEWAY

TO PURSUE HIS LIFELONG DREAM

OF WORKING IN
THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

WANNA BUY A TICKET?

WANNA BUY A WATCH?
WANNA BUY A WATCH?

8:00. SHOW'S ABOUT
TO START. COME ON IN.

[ clock ticking ]

[ snoring softly ]

[ languid music playing ]

[ languid music continues ]

# WITH BLOODSHOT EYES
AND A PURPLE HEART #

# I JUST ROLLED DOWN
THE NATIONAL STROLL #

# AND WITH A BIG, FAT PAYCHECK
STRAPPED TO MY HIP SACK #

# AND A SHORE LEAVE WRISTWATCH
UNDERNEATH MY SLEEVE #

# IN A HONG KONG DRIZZLE

# ON CUBAN HEELS

# I ROWED DOWN THE GUTTER
TO THE BLOOD BANK #

# AND, WELL, I LEFT
ALL MY PAPERS #

# ON THE TICONDEROGA#

# AND I WAS IN BAD NEED
OF A SHAVE #

# AND I SLOPPED
AT THE CORNER #

# ON COLD CHOW MEIN

# I SHOT BILLIARDS
WITH A MIDGET #

# UNTIL THE RAIN STOPPED

# I BOUGHT A LONG-SLEEVE SHIRT
WITH SOME HORSES ON THE FRONT #

# AND SOME GUM
AND A LIGHTER AND A KNIFE #

# AND A NEW DECK OF CARDS

# WITH GIRLS ON THE BACK

# AND I SAT DOWN
AND WROTE A LETTER
TO MY WIFE #

# I SAID, BABY

# I'M SO FAR
AWAY FROM HOME, YEAH #

# I CAN'T MAKE IT

# BY MYSELF

# I JUST LOVE YOU SO

# I WAS JUST
PACING MYSELF #

# TRYING TO MAKE IT
ALL LAST #

# SQUEEZING ALL THE LIFE

# OUT OF A LOUSY
2-DAY PASS #

# I HAD A COLD ONE

# I TAUGHT BASEBALL
WITH A LIEUTENANT #

# OVER A SINGAPORE SLING

# AND I WONDERED
HOW THE SAME MOON OUTSIDE #

# OVER THIS CHINATOWN FAIR

# COULD LOOK DOWN ON ILLINOIS

# AND FIND YOU THERE

# AND I'M SO FAR
AWAY FROM HOME #

# I'M SO FAR AWAY FROM HOME

# AND I MISS MY BABY SO

# I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT
BY MYSELF #

# I JUST LOVE YOU SO

# SHORE LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE

# LEAVE

# SHORE LEAVE

[ motor traffic passes ]

[ applause subsides ]

THANK YOU, BABY.

REALLY, REALLY.

GOES RIGHT HERE.

AND I KNOW YOU KNOW
WHAT I MEAN.

THINGS GOT A LITTLE
SNOOTY DOWNTOWN HERE TODAY.

I WAS-- I WAS ON ONE
OF THOSE STREETS THAT--

YOU KNOW THE ONES.[ laughter ]

OKAY?

I WALKED INTO A HOTEL.

I KNEW SOMEBODY
STAYING IN THE HOTEL.

I WALK INTO THE HOTEL.

I SAID, "LISTEN,
COULD YOU DIRECT ME
TO THE ELEVATORS?"

THE GUY SAID...

[ blueblood voice ]
"YOU MEAN THE ELEVATORS
TO THE ROOMS?"

I SAID, "NO,
THE ELEVATOR TO HELL."

[ laughter ]

"OF COURSE I MEAN
THE ELEVATORS TO THE ROOMS!"

UM...

I FEEL AS THOUGH
WE SHOULD MOVE RIGHT INTO
THE RELIGIOUS MATERIAL.

JESUS CHRIST.

CAN I GET AN AMEN?

CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH?

Woman: HALLELUJAH.

# WHEN YOU WALK
THROUGH THE GARDEN #

# YOU GOTTA WATCH YOUR BACK

# WELL, I BEG YOUR PARDON

# WALK THE STRAIGHT
AND NARROW TRACK #

# WHEN YOU WALK WITH JESUS

# HE'S GONNA SAVE YOUR SOUL

# YOU GOT TO KEEP THE DEVIL

# WELL, WE GOT TO KEEP HIM
DOWN IN THE HOLE #

# HE'S GOT THE FIRE

# PEOPLE,
HE'S GOT THE FURY #

# AT HIS COMMAND

# OH, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO WORRY #

# HOLD ONTO

# HOLD ONTO JESUS' HAND

# WE'LL ALL BE SAFE
FROM SATAN #

# WHEN THE THUNDER

# WHEN THE THUNDER
STARTS TO ROLL #

# WE GOT TO KEEP THE DEVIL

# KEEP HIM ON DOWN

# DOWN IN THE HOLE

# THAT RED-HORNED

# LOUSY LOWLIFE
UNDERNEATH OUR BOOTS #

PRAISE THE LORD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
TWO DOLLAH.

THAT DEMON-MEISTER.

THREE DOLLAH.

THAT PRINCE-DEVIL.

JUST SEE IF YOU CAN
COME UP WITH A FIGURE...

THAT MATCHES YOUR FAITH.

HOW MUCH HAS JESUS
DONE FOR YOU?

AND WE GOT TO GO IN

WITH OUR HYDRAULIC SYSTEM

AND BLAST HIM OUT.

PEOPLE, CAN I GET AN AMEN?

# ALL THE ANGELS

# THEY START TO SING

# OH, ABOUT JESUS'
MIGHTY SWORD #

# AND THEY SHIELD YOU
WITH THEIR WINGS #

# PEOPLE, THEY'LL KEEP YOU
CLOSE TO THE LORD #

# NOW, DON'T PAY HEED
TO TEMPTATION #

# FOR HIS HANDS ARE SO COLD

# YOU GOT TO KEEP THE DEVIL

# KEEP HIM ON DOWN IN THE

[ screaming ]
DOWN IN THE HOLE.

[ audience cheers ]

[ screaming ]
DOWN IN THE HOLE.

# DOWN IN THE HOLE

WELL, PEOPLE,

I GOT TO SPEAK
ABOUT SOMETHING.

[ audience cheering ]

CAN I GET AN AMEN?

Audience: AMEN.

CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH?

Audience: HALLELUJAH.

PRAISE THE LORD.

Audience:
PRAISE THE LORD!

PEOPLE.

THE LORD

IS A VERY, VERY BUSY MAN.

[ cheers and whistles ]

I'LL DO WHAT I CAN.

BUT JESUS IS ALWAYS GOING
FOR THE BIG PICTURE.

BUT HE'S ALWAYS THERE

TO HELP US OUT
OF THE LITTLE JAMS TOO.

[ cheers and applause ]

# DOWN IN THE HOLE

# DOWN IN THE HOLE

# DOWN IN THE HOLE

# KEEP HIM DOWN IN THE HOLE

# GOT TO KEEP THE DEVIL

# DOWN IN THE HOLE

# YOU GOT TO KEEP THE DEVIL

# KEEP HIM ON DOWN
IN THE HOLE #

[ whistles sharply ]

[ screaming ]
# DOWN IN THE HOLE

# DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

# MIGHTY DEVIL

# I SEND YOU DOWN
BELOW MY BOOTS #

# DOWN, DOWN

# FILLING MY LIFE
WITH ANGER AND STRIFE #

# GO DOWN, MIGHTY DEVIL

[ shotgun cocks ]

# FIND A PLACE TO LIVE

[ gunshot ricochets ]

# DOWN, DOWN, DOWN

[ audience applauds ]

[ gunshot ricochets ]

[ audience applauds ]

[ intro to "Hang On,
St. Christopher" playing ]

[ random traffic noises ]

# HANG ON, ST. CHRISTOPHER

# WITH A HAMMER
TO THE FLOOR #

# PUT A HIGHBALL
IN THE CRANK CASE #

# NAIL A CROW TO THE DOOR

# GET A BOTTLE
FOR THE JOCKEY #

# 294

# THERE'S A 750 NORTON

# JANUARY'S DOOR

# HANG ON, ST. CHRISTOPHER

# ON THE PASSENGER SIDE

# OPEN IT UP

# THE DEVIL CAN RIDE

# HANG ON, ST. CHRISTOPHER

# AND DON'T LET ME GO

# GET ME TO RENO

# BRING IT IN LOW

# PUT MY BABY
ON THE FLAT CAR #

# BURN DOWN THE CABOOSE

# GET 'EM ALL JACKED UP
ON WHISKEY #

# TURN US ALL LOOSE

# HANG ON, ST. CHRISTOPHER

# ON THE PASSENGER SIDE

# OPEN IT UP

# DEVIL CAN RIDE

# ALL RIGHT

[ exaggerated pounding sound ]

[ random traffic noises ]

[ exaggerated pounding sound ]

# HANG ON, ST. CHRISTOPHER

# PUT A HAMMER TO THE FLOOR

# PUT A HIGHBALL
IN THE CRANK CASE #

# NAIL ME TO THE DOOR

# BOTTLE FOR THE JOCKEY

# 294

# THERE'S A 750 NORTON

# ON JANUARY'S DOOR

# HANG ON,
ST. CHRISTOPHER #

# ON THE PASSENGER SIDE

# OPEN IT UP

# DEVIL CAN RIDE

# ALL RIGHT

[ discordant music playing ]

[ screeching ]
# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

# WELL, ALL RIGHT

[ heavy metallic thud;
music ceases ]

RIGHT THIS WAY.

RIGHT THIS WAY, PLEASE.

WELL, LET'S DO
SOMETHING TOGETHER,

SOME OF THE OLD FAVORITES
HERE. COME ON.

# I AIN'T NO PLACE

# FOR THE TIMES
I USED TO BE #

COME ON.

# THERE'S A LEAK
IN THE BOILER ROOM #

COME ON.

[ audience laughs
and cheers ]

ALL RIGHT,
YOU'RE A LITTLE NERVOUS.

IT'S YOUR FIRST NIGHT.

[ audience cheering ]

[ indistinct
P.A. announcement ]

[ chuckles ]

# ALL NIGHT
ON THE BROKEN GLASS #

# LIVING IN A MEDICINE CHEST

# MEDITEROMANIAN HOTEL BACK

# SPRAWLED
ACROSS A ROLL-TOP DESK #

SHE LOVES ME.

SHE LOVES ME NOT.

# I GOT A TELEPHONE CALL
FROM ISTANBUL #

# MY BABY'S COMIN' HOME TODAY

# WILL YOU SELL ME
ONE OF THOSE #

# SHAVE MY HEAD?

# GET ME OUT OF TOWN,
IS WHAT FIREBALL SAID #

# NEVER TRUST A MAN
IN A BLUE TRENCH COAT #

# NEVER DRIVE A CAR
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD #

# SATURDAY'S A FESTIVAL,
FRIDAY'S A GEM #

# DYE MY HAIR YELLOW

# OH, CHANTILLY LACE

# AND A PRETTY FACE

[ whistles sharply ]

[ distant saxophone wails ]

[ saxophone wails ]

# WILL YOU SELL ME ONE OF THOSE
IF I SHAVE MY HEAD? #

# GET ME OUT OF TOWN,
IS WHAT FIREBALL SAID #

# NEVER TRUST A MAN
IN A BLUE TRENCH COAT #

# NEVER DRIVE A CAR
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD #

# SATURDAY'S A FESTIVAL,
FRIDAY'S SUCH A GEM #

# I GOT TO DYE
MY HAIR YELLOW, BABY #

# CHANTILLY LACE

# AND A PRETTY FACE

[ imitates J.P. Richardson ]
# YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE

[ musical bridge playing ]

AHH.
[ mutters ]

# WILL YOU SELL ME ONE OF THOSE
IF I SHAVE MY HEAD? #

# GET ME OUT OF TOWN,
IS WHAT FIREBALL SAID #

# NEVER TRUST A MAN
IN A BLUE TRENCH COAT #

# NEVER DRIVE A CAR
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD #

# SATURDAY'S A FESTIVAL,
FRIDAY'S A GEM #

# DYE MY HAIR YELLOW
AND RAISE MY HEM #

# FOLLOW ME TO BEULAH'S
ON DRY CREEK ROAD #

# I GOT TO WEAR THE HAT
THAT MY BABY DONE... #

# BRRRRAAAAHHH

[ muttering indistinctly ]

OH! STEAL THAT FROM ME.

[ exaggerated crash ]

[ exaggerated crash ]

[ exaggerated crash ]

[ exaggerated crash ]

# WILL YOU SELL ME ONE OF THOSE
IF I SHAVE MY HEAD? #

# GET ME OUT OF TOWN,
IS WHAT FIREBALL SAID #

# NEVER TRUST A MAN
IN A BLUE TRENCH COAT #

# NEVER DRIVE A CAR
WHEN YOU'RE DEAD #

# SATURDAY'S A FESTIVAL,
FRIDAY'S A GEM #

# CHANTILLY LACE

# AND A PRETTY FACE

# AND A PONYTAIL HANGING DOWN

# YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE

[ vocalizing ]

[ vocalizing continues ]

[ vocalizing continues ]

# BE-DOO-BEE
DOO-BEE-DAH! #

[ music climaxes ]

[ audience applauds ]

COME ON, SWEETHEART.

SEE THE--
OH! GOD!

GOT ONE, LOST ONE.

IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK
IN THE LAND OF WIGS
AND NOVELTIES.

[ audience laughs ]

GO AHEAD AND LAUGH, BUT...

WHEN YOU NEED WIGS
AND NOVELTIES,

AND YOU'RE IN INDIANA...

[ audience laughs ]...YOU CAN HANG IT UP, BUDDY.

I LOOKED EVERYWHERE.

WOKE UP IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT IN A COLD SWEAT,

ONE THING ON MY MIND--

I WANTED A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
AS BIG AS AN ENCYCLOPEDIA.

THEY DIDN'T--
YOU KNOW THOSE?

YOU OPEN THE TOP,
IT GOES KINK,

AND THEN WHOOMP!

IT'S THRILLING.

IT'S GOOD TO BE
IN THE WILSHIRE DISTRICT,
YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW, CLOSE TO EVERYTHING.
SHOPPING, THAT TYPE OF THING.

ALL REAL IMPORTANT THINGS
WITH US.

ACTUALLY, WILSHIRE'S
A LITTLE SNOOTY,

WESTERN'S A LITTLE FRIENDLY,
SO WE'RE KIND OF--

[ audience cheers
approval ]

WOULDN'T YOU SAY
WE'RE AT THE CORNER
OF FRIENDLY AND SNOOTY?

[ audience laughs ]

THE TWO MISSING SEVEN DWARFS,
FRIENDLY AND SNOOTY.

ALL RIGHT, THIS IS A SONG
ABOUT A LITTLE GUY

WHO LIVES IN A LITTLE HOUSE.

# CRESTFALLEN SIDEKICK
IN AN OLD CAFE #

# NEVER SLEPT WITH A DREAM
BEFORE HE HAD TO GO AWAY #

# THERE'S A BELL IN THE TOWER,
UNCLE RAY BOUGHT A ROUND #

# DON'T WORRY 'BOUT THE ARMY
IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND #

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# NOW DON'T BE A CRYBABY
WHEN THERE'S WOOD IN THE SHED #

# A BIRD IN THE CHIMNEY
AND A STONE IN MY BED #

# WHEN THE ROAD'S WASHED OUT,
WE PASS THE BOTTLE AROUND #

# WAIT IN THE ARMS
OF THE COLD, COLD GROUND #

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# THERE'S A RIBBON IN THE WILLOW
AND A TIRE-SWING ROPE #

# BRIAR PATCH OF BERRIES
TAKIN' OVER THE SLOPE #

# CAT'LL SLEEP IN THE MAILBOX
AND WE'LL NEVER GO TO TOWN #

# BURY EVERY DREAM
IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND #

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

[ musical bridge playing ]

# GIVE ME A WINCHESTER RIFLE
AND A WHOLE BOX OF SHELLS #

# BLOW THE ROOF
OFF THE GOAT BARN #

# LET IT ROLL DOWN THE HILL

# THE PIANO IS FIREWOOD,
TIMES SQUARE IS A DREAM #

# LAY DOWN TOGETHER
IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND #

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# CALL THE COPS
ON THE BREEDLOVES #

# BRING A BIBLE
AND A ROPE #

# A WHOLE BOX OF REBEL
AND A BAR OF SOAP #

# MAKE A PILE OF TRUNK TIRES
AND BURN 'EM ALL DOWN #

# BRING A DOLLAR WITH YOU, BABY,
IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND #

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

# IN THE COLD, COLD GROUND

[ music ends;
audience applauds ]

[ gong resounds ]

[ audience laughs ]

[ gong resounds ]

[ musicians noodling ]

[ emcee speaking Spanish ]

UH...

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

NO, NO. I KNOW, I KNOW.
YOU HEAR THAT ALL THE TIME,
YOU KNOW.

# YOU ARE

# BEAUTIFUL

# TO ME

WOW, I MEAN--

IT'S WILD, BUT RIGHT NOW,
I DON'T KNOW,

I FEEL CLOSER TO YOU
THAN I DO MY OWN FAMILY.

AND THAT'S KIND OF TRAGIC,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

UM... I DON'T KNOW,
I FEEL LIKE

I COULD LOOK RIGHT INSIDE THOSE
BLACK LITTLE HEARTS OF YOURS,

AND I-I FEEL LIKE--

I FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU
INDIVIDUALLY, AND AS A GROUP.

I DON'T KNOW. IT'S WILD.
IT'S NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.

IT'S A FULL MOON?
I DON'T KNOW.

HAVE A CIGAR.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

ONE FOR THE BALCONY.
WHOA.

I'M SORRY, BABE.
I THREW MY ARM OUT
IN SPRING TRAINING.

OH.

I LOST EVERYTHING
IN THE STOCK MARKET.

SO THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE
TO GO.

# I'M GOING
STRAIGHT UP TO THE TOP #

# OH, YEAH

# I BE GOING
WHERE THE AIR IS #

# FRESH

# AND CLEAN

# TOP

# I'M GOING UP

# UP WHERE THE AIR IS

# FRESH

# AND CLEAN

# I'M NOT GONNA LET
DR. SORROW #

# OPERATE ON ME TODAY

# I'VE JUST TO GOT
TO LIVE FOR TOMORROW #

[ audience laughs ]

# SOMEONE MADE ME

# THAT WAY

# TOP

# I'M GOING UP
WHERE THE AIR IS #

# FRESH

# AND CLEAN

# YEAH

WHOA.

# I JUST CAN'T LET
SORROW BRING ME DOWN #

SO, PEOPLE,

LET'S HAVE A WARM
ROUND OF APPLAUSE

FOR JOHNNY MARINARA
ON THE TENOR SAXOPHONE.

[ audience applauds ]

LET HIM KNOW
THAT YOU LOVE HIM.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR ALL
THE FLUORESCENTS TONIGHT--

JOHNNY PERCHIUTTO,

JOHNNY PELLEGRINO,

JOHNNY MARINARA,

JOHNNY....
[ indistinct ]

# UP

# WHERE THE AIR IS

# WHERE THE AIR IS

# FRESH

# FRESH AND CLEAN

WHOA, HOW 'BOUT
THAT BAND?

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU, BABY.

RIGHT THIS WAY.
WATCH YOUR STEP.

WATCH YOUR STEP.

HEY-- HEY, YOUALMOST
MISSED THIS SHOW.

YOUNEED A WATCH.

[ watches ticking
and beeping ]

PARIS, ROME, ANN ARBOR,

TOKYO, HONG KONG,
THE SUDAN.

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

STEP THIS WAY.

STEP THIS WAY, PLEASE.

[ Waits howls like a wolf ]

# WILL YOU TAKE ME
'CROSS THE CHANNEL #

# LONDON BRIDGE
IS FALLING DOWN #

# STRANGE, A WOMAN
TRIES TO SAVE #

# WHAT A MAN
WILL TRY TO DROWN #

# AND IT'S THE RAIN
THAT THEY PREDICTED #

# IT'S THE FORECAST
EVERY TIME #

# THE ROSE HAS DIED
BECAUSE YOU PICKED IT #

# I BELIEVE
THAT BRANDY'S MINE #

# AND ALL OVER

# THE WORLD

# STRANGERS

# TALK ONLY
'BOUT THE WEATHER #

# ALL OVER THE WORLD

# IT'S THE SAME

# IT'S THE SAME

# AND THE WORLD
IS GETTING FLATTER #

# AND THE SKY
IS FALLING ALL AROUND #

# OH, AND NOTHING
IS THE MATTER #

# FOR I NEVER CRY IN TOWN

# AND A LOVE LIKE OURS,
MY DEAR #

# IS BEST MEASURED
WHEN ITS DOWN #

# AND I NEVER BUY UMBRELLAS

# 'CAUSE THERE'S
ALWAYS ONE AROUND #

# AND ALL OVER

# THE WORLD

# STRANGERS

# TALK ONLY
'BOUT THE WEATHER #

# ALL OVER THE WORLD

# IT'S THE SAME

# IT'S THE SAME

# AND YOU KNOW

# THAT IT'S BEGINNING

# AND YOU KNOW

# THAT IT'S THE END

# ONCE AGAIN

# WE ARE STRANGERS

# AS THE FOG
GOES ROLLING IN #

# AND ALL OVER

# THE WORLD

# STRANGERS

# TALK ONLY
'BOUT THE WEATHER #

# ALL OVER

# THE WORLD

# IT'S THE SAME

# IT'S THE SAME

# IT'S THE SAME

[ music ends ]

[ audience applauds ]

[ man humming
"Strange Weather" ]

UH, I SAW A PLACE, UH...

JUST OUTSIDE ON WESTERN,

A PLACE THAT SELLS
USED EROTICA.

[ audience laughs ]

THINK ABOUT IT.

WHERE THEY CLEAN IT.

WHO CLEANS IT?

ARE THEY LICENSED?

[ audience applauds ]

ALL THESE QUESTIONS
CAME TO MY HEAD.

HOW USED IS IT?
WHO USED IT?

[ audience laughs ]

YOU FOLLOW ME?

THERE'S A PLACE--
THERE'S A THEATER
RIGHT UP WESTERN

WITH SEVEN "X's."

YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, DOUBLE "X," OKAY.

TRIPLE "X," EHH.

[ dramatic voice ]
SEVEN "X's."

GIRLS WITHOUT SKIN.

[ audience laughs ]

THAT'S ALL I COULD THINK,
YOU KNOW?

THAT I WANT TO SEE.

"COME HERE, BABY.
YOU'RE A DOLL.

I LOVE YOU." OKAY.

UM...

# OHH

[ clock ticking ]

[ clock continues ticking ]

# FALLING JAMES

# IN THE TAHOE MUD

# STICK AROUND TO TELL US
ALL THE TALE #

# WELL, HE FELL IN LOVE

# WITH A GUN STREET GIRL

# BLEW A HOLE IN THE HOOD

# OF A YELLOW CORVETTE

# BLEW A HOLE IN THE HOOD

# OF A YELLOW CORVETTE

# JOHN, JOHN

# HE'S LONG GONE

# WELL,
HE'S GONE TO INDIANA #

# HE AIN'T
NEVER COMING HOME #

# JOHN, JOHN

# LONG GONE

# WELL, HE'S GONE
TO INDIANA #

# HE AIN'T
NEVER COMING HOME #

# WELL, HE TOOK
A HUNDRED DOLLARS #

# OFF OF SLAUGHTERHOUSE JOE

# BOUGHT A BRAND-NEW
MICHIGAN .20 GAUGE #

# HE GOT ALL LIQUORED UP

# ON ROAD HOUSE CORN

# BLEW A HOLE IN THE HOOD

# OF A YELLOW CORVETTE

# A HOLE IN THE HOOD

# OF A YELLOW CORVETTE

# JOHN, JOHN

# HE'S LONG GONE

# HE'S GONE TO INDIANA

# AIN'T NEVER COMING HOME

# JOHN, JOHN

# HE'S LONG GONE

# WHY, HE'S GONE TO INDIANA

# HE AIN'T NEVER COMING HOME

# MISS CHARLOTTE

# TOOK A SATCHEL

# DOWN TO KINGFISH ROW

# SMUGGLED IN A BRAND-NEW PAIR
OF ALLIGATOR SHOES #

# WITH HER FIREMAN'S RAINCOAT

# AND HER LONG, YELLOW HAIR

# THEY TIED HER TO A TREE

# WITH A SKINNY MILLIONAIRE

# THEY TIED HER TO A TREE

# WITH A SKINNY MILLIONAIRE

# JOHN, JOHN

# LONG GONE

# WHY, HE'S GONE
TO INDIANA #

# HE AIN'T
NEVER COMING HOME #

# JOHN, JOHN

# HE'S LONG GONE

# WHY HE'S GONE TO INDIANA

# HE AIN'T NEVER COMING HOME

[ scattered cheers ]

# JOHN, JOHN

# JOHN, JOHN

# MY PAPA

# WAS A ROLLING STONE

# MY PAPA

# WAS A ROLLING STONE

# WHEREVER HE HUNG

# HIS HAT WAS HIS HOME

# WHEN HE DIED

# ALL HE LEFT US
WAS ALONE #

# JOHN, JOHN

# JOHN, JOHN

# WELL, JOHN, JOHN

# AND I WAS BANGING

# ON A TABLE

# WITH AN OLD TIN CUP

# SINGING, I'LL NEVER
KISS A GUN STREET GIRL AGAIN #

# I WILL NEVER KISS
A GUN STREET GIRL AGAIN #

# I WILL NEVER KISS
A GUN STREET GIRL AGAIN #

# JOHN, JOHN

# JOHN, JOHN

# JOHN, JOHN

# WELL, JOHN, JOHN

# JOHN, JOHN

# JOHN, JOHN

[ door creaks ]

# JOHN, JOHN

[ audience applauds ]

WELL, WE GOT THE WHOLE
4-H CLUB

STAYING AT OUR HOTEL.

THEY'RE ANIMALS.

IT'S JUST, UH...[ audience laughs ]

I'M A KIDDER.
I'M A KIDDER.

WELL...

I HAD A ROUGH FLIGHT IN,
YOU KNOW?

UH... I DON'T KNOW.
WE CAME IN--

WE DIDN'T COME INTO L.A.X.
WE CAME INTO BOB'S AIRPORT.

[ audience laughs ]

ACTUALLY, UH, MY REACTION
WAS THE SAME AS YOURS.

UH... BUT WHEN YOU
THINK ABOUT IT,

BOB'S THERE ALL THE TIME,
YOU KNOW?

IT'S VERY SIMPLE. THEY HAVE
A LITTLE LOBSTER BAR THERE.

I GOT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO BOB. YOU'LL LOVE BOB.

OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU GET?
WHAT DO YOU GET?

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA
DO YOU A LITTLE STORY HERE.

THIS IS ABOUT A PLACE
IN MINNEAPOLIS, MINNESOTA.

IT'S ONE OF
THOSE DREAMS WHERE

EVERYONE YOU NEVER
WANTED TO SEE AGAIN

SHOWED UP.

[ comical voice ]
"THERE'S UNCLE PHIL OVER THERE!

"SHIT!

I OWE HIM PLENTY OF MONEY!"

THIS IS ABOUT
A STREETCAR CALLED...

NINTH AND HENNEPIN.

AND ALL THE DONUTS
AROUND HERE

HAVE NAMES
THAT SOUND LIKE PROSTITUTES.

AND THE MOON'S TEETH MARKS
ARE ON THE SKY,

LIKE A TARP
THROWN OUT OVER ALL THIS.

AND THE HORSES ARE COMING
DOWN VIOLIN ROAD.

DUTCH IS DEAD ON HIS FEET.

[ random traffic sounds ]

AND THE STEAM COMES
OUT OF THE GRILL

LIKE THE WHOLE GODDAMN TOWN
IS READY TO BLOW.

AND DUTCH IS DEAD ON HIS FEET,

AND EVERYONE
IS BEHAVING LIKE DOGS.

AND ALL THE ROOMS,
THEY SMELL LIKE DIESEL,

AND YOU TAKE ON THE DREAMS OF
THE ONES WHO HAVE SLEPT THERE.

I'M LOST IN THE WINDOW.

I HANG IN THE STAIRWAY.

I HIDE IN THE CURTAIN,

AND TONIGHT,
I WILL SLEEP IN YOUR HAT.

AND NO ONE BRINGS
ANYTHING SMALL

INTO A BAR AROUND HERE.

NAH.

THEY ALL STARTED OUT
WITH BAD DIRECTIONS.

THE GIRL BEHIND THE COUNTER
HAS A TATTOOED TEAR.

"ONE FOR EVERY YEAR
HE'S AWAY," SHE SAID.

"ONE FOR EVERY YEAR
HE'S AWAY," SHE SAID.

"ONE FOR EVERY YEAR
HE'S AWAY," SHE SAID.

[ distant siren approaches ]

NAH, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH HER

THAT A HUNDRED DOLLARS
WON'T FIX.

SHE HAS THAT KIND OF
RAZOR SADNESS

THAT ONLY GETS WORSE.

THE CLANG AND THE THUNDER

OF THE SOUTHERN PACIFIC
RAILROAD

GOING BY.

AND I'VE SEEN IT ALL

THROUGH THE YELLOW WINDOWS
ON THE EVENING TRAIN.

[ watches ticking ]

[ audience cheers ]

TRIPPIN'.

# WINE, WINE

# THE GOOSE DRANK WINE

# MONKEY CHEWED TOBACCO
ON THE STREETCAR LINE #

# LINE BROKE

# MONKEY GOT CHOKED

# AND THEY ALL WENT TO HEAVEN

# IN A LITTLE ROWBOAT

# CLAP HANDS

[ audience cheers,
claps rhythmically ]

[ synthesized siren blares ]

[ synthesized siren blares ]

# SANE, SANE

# THEY'RE ALL INSANE

# BLIND MAN'S BLIND

# THE CONDUCTOR'S LAME

# CINCINNATI JACKET
AND A SAD-LUCK DAME #

# HANG OUT THE WINDOW
WITH A BOTTLE FULL OF RAIN #

# CLAP HANDS

# WELL, CLAP HANDS

# WELL, CLAP HANDS

# WELL, CLAP HANDS

# CROWD ABOUT TO ROAR

# IT'S A THUNDER AND A ROAR

# I AIN'T NEVER COMING
BACK HERE NO MORE #

# MOON IN THE WINDOW

# BIRD ON THE POLE

# WE CAN ALWAYS FIND
A MILLIONAIRE #

# TO SHOVEL ALL THE COAL

# CLAP HANDS

# WELL, CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# I SAID DREAM

# THERE'S A HUNDRED BAD DREAMS

# GOING UP TO HARLEM
WITH A PISTOL IN MY JEANS #

# A CINCINNATI JACKET
AND A SAD-LUCK DAME #

# HANGING OUT THE WINDOW
WITH A BOTTLE FULL OF RAIN #

# PUT A ROCK TO ROAR

# THUNDER AND ROAR

# I AIN'T NEVER

# COMING BACK HERE NO MORE

# MOON IN THE WINDOW

# BIRD ON THE POLE

# ALWAYS FIND A MILLIONAIRE
TO SHOVEL ALL THE COAL #

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

[ whistles sharply ]

# CLAP HANDS

[ hisses ]

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# SHINE, SHINE

# ROOSEVELT DIME

# ALL THE WAY TO BALTIMORE

# I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME

# SALVATION ARMY
SEEMED TO WIND UP IN THE HOLE #

# AND THEY ALL WENT TO HEAVEN

# IN A LITTLE ROW...

# BOAT

# IT'S A ROAR

# IT'S A THUNDER
AND A ROAR #

# I AIN'T NEVER
COMING BACK HERE NO MORE #

# MOON IN THE WINDOW

# BIRD ON THE POLE

# ALWAYS FIND A MILLIONAIRE
TO SHOVEL ALL THE COAL #

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

# CLAP HANDS

[ synthesized siren blares ]

[ no audible lyric ]

[ synthesized siren blares ]

[ audience applauds ]

[ clears throat ]

# WELL, THE SMART MONEY'S
ON HARLOW #

# AND THE MOON
IS IN THE STREET #

# AND THE SHADOW BOYS
ARE BREAKING ALL THE LAWS #

# AND YOU'RE
EAST OF ST. LOUIS #

# AND THE WIND
IS MAKING SPEECHES #

# AND THE RAIN SOUNDS LIKE
A ROUND OF APPLAUSE #

# OH, AND NAPOLEON
IS WEEPING #

# IN A CARNIVAL SALOON

# HIS INVISIBLE FIANC�E'S
IN THE MIRROR #

# AND THE BAND IS GOING HOME

# IT'S RAINING HAMMERS,
IT'S RAINING NAILS #

# IT'S TRUE THERE'S
NOTHING LEFT FOR HIM DOWN HERE #

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# AND IT IS TIME

# AND IT'S TIME

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# THAT YOU LIVE

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# AND THEY'LL ALL
PRETEND THEY'RE ORPHANS #

# AND THEIR MEMORY'S
LIKE A TRAIN #

# YOU CAN SEE THEM
GETTING SMALLER
AS THEY PULL AWAY #

# OH, AND THE THINGS
YOU CAN'T REMEMBER #

# TELL THE THINGS
YOU CAN'T FORGET #

# THAT HISTORY

# PUTS A SAINT
IN EVERY DREAM #

# OH, SHE SAID
SHE'D STICK AROUND #

# TILL THE BANDAGES
CAME OFF #

# BUT THESE MOMMA'S BOYS
JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT #

# AND MATILDA
ASKS THE SAILORS #

# ARE THOSE DREAMS,
OR ARE THOSE PRAYERS? #

# SO CLOSE YOUR EYES, SON

# THIS WON'T HURT A BIT

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# AND IT IS TIME

# AND IT'S TIME

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# THAT YOU LIVE

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

[ garbled audio transmission ]

# OH, NOW,
THINGS ARE PRETTY LOUSY #

# FOR THE CALENDAR GIRLS

# THE BOYS JUST DIVE
RIGHT OFF THE CARS #

# AND SPLASH INTO THE STREET

# OH, AND WHEN SHE'S
ON A ROLL #

# SHE PULLS A RAZOR
FROM THE BOOT #

# AND A THOUSAND PIGEONS
FALL AROUND HER FEET #

# SO PUT A CANDLE
IN THE WINDOW #

# AND A KISS UPON MY LIPS

# 'CAUSE THE DISH
OUTSIDE THE WINDOW
FILLS WITH RAIN #

# AND JUST LIKE A STRANGER

# WITH THE WEEDS
IN YOUR HEART #

# PAY THE FIDDLER OFF

# TILL I COME BACK AGAIN

# AND IT'S TIME

# AND IT'S TIME

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# THAT YOU LIVE

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# AND IT'S TIME

# AND IT'S TIME

# AND IT'S TIME,
TIME, TIME #

# THAT YOU LIVE

# AND IT'S TIME

# TIME

# TIME

[ watches ticking and beeping;
audience applauds ]

[ silence ]

[ random traffic noises ]

[ random traffic noises
continue ]

[ gunshot ricochets ]

[ gunshot ricochets ]

[ random traffic noises
continue ]

[ random traffic noises
continue ]

[ howling like a wolf ]

# INSIDE A BROKEN CLOCK

# SPLASH THE WINE

# WITH ALL THE RAIN DOGS

# TAXI

# TAXI

# TAXI, WE'D RATHER WALK

# HUDDLE A DOORWAY
WITH THE RAIN DOGS #

# FOR I

# AM A RAIN DOG TOO

# AND OH, HOW WE DANCED

# AND WE SWALLOWED
THE NIGHT #

# HER LONG HAIR

# BLACK AS A RAVEN

# AND OH, HOW WE DANCED

# AND SHE WHISPERED TO ME

# WE'LL NEVER BE GOING

# BACK HOME

[ musical bridge playing ]

# AND OH, HOW WE DANCED

# AND WE SOLOED ALL NIGHT

# HER LONG HAIR

# BLACK AS A RAVEN

# AND OH, HOW WE DANCED

# AND SHE WHISPERED TO ME

# WE'LL NEVER

# BE GOING BACK HOME

# OHH

# HOW WE DANCED

# WITH THE ROSE OF TRALEE

# HER LONG HAIR

# BLACK AS A RAVEN

# AND OH, HOW WE DANCED

# AND SHE WHISPERED TO ME

# WE WILL NEVER BE GOING
BACK HOME #

[ whistles sharply ]

[ musical bridge playing ]

[ tempo increases ]

[ music ends abruptly ]

WELL, LOOK,
I THINK THE QUESTION
I GET ASKED THE MOST,

UH, IS...

WELL, I DON'T KNOW--
I MEAN, IT HAPPENS A LOT.

ENOUGH THAT I WOULD
REMARK ON IT.

UH... A LOT OF PEOPLE
COME UP TO ME, AND THEY SAY,

"TOM, IS IT POSSIBLE
FOR A WOMAN

TO GET PREGNANT
WITHOUT INTERCOURSE?"

[ audience laughs ]

AND, UH...

MY ANSWER'S ALWAYS THE SAME.
I SAY, "WELL, LISTEN,

"WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK
TO THE CIVIL WAR."

[ audience laughs ]

APPARENTLY, A STRAY BULLET

ACTUALLY PIERCED THE TESTICLE
OF A UNION SOLDIER,

AND THEN LODGED ITSELF
IN THE OVARIES

OF AN 18-YEAR-OLD GIRL

WHO WAS ACTUALLY
100 FEET FROM HIM AT THE TIME.

[ audience laughs ]

WELL, THE BABY WAS FINE.

SHE WAS VERY HAPPY.

GUILT FREE.

AND, UH...

'COURSE, THE SOLDIER'S
A LITTLE PISSED OFF.

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
IT'S ACTUALLY A FORM
OF INTERCOURSE,

BUT, UH, NOT FOR EVERYONE.

[ audience laughs ]

UH...

THOSE WHO LOVE ACTION,
MAYBE.

[ loud horn
blowing rhythmically ]

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO
RIGHT INTO...

YEAH.

YEAH?

I'M HERE.

YEAH, TONIGHT.

[ distant locomotive
whistle blows ]

# WELL, I BROKE DOWN
IN EAST ST. LOUIS #

# ON THE KANSAS CITY LINE

# AND I DRUNK UP
ALL MY MONEY #

# THAT I BORROWED EVERY TIME

# AND I FELL DOWN
AT THE DERBY #

# NOW THE NIGHT'S
AS BLACK AS A CROW #

# MUST HAVE BEEN A TRAIN
THAT TOOK ME AWAY FROM HERE #

# BUT A TRAIN
CAN'T BRING ME HOME #

# WHAT MADE MY DREAMS
SO HOLLOW #

# I WAS STANDING THERE
AT THE DEPOT #

# WITH A STEEPLE
FULL OF SWALLOWS #

# THAT COULD NEVER
RING THE BELL #

# OH, I COME
10,000 MILES AWAY #

# AND I AIN'T GOT
ONE THING TO SHOW #

# MUST HAVE BEEN A TRAIN
TOOK ME AWAY FROM HERE #

# BUT A TRAIN

# CAN'T BRING ME HOME

[ distant locomotive
whistle blows ]

# I REMEMBER WHEN I LEFT

# WITHOUT BOTHERING TO PACK

# YOU KNOW,
I UP AND LEFT #

# WITH NOTHING BUT
THE CLOTHES ON MY BACK #

# NOW I'M SO SORRY
FOR WHAT I'VE DONE #

# AND I'M OUT HERE
ON MY OWN #

# MUST HAVE BEEN A TRAIN
THAT TOOK ME AWAY FROM HERE #

# BUT A TRAIN

# CAN'T BRING ME HOME

# MUST HAVE BEEN A TRAIN

# THAT TOOK ME
AWAY FROM HERE #

# BUT A TRAIN

# CAN'T BRING ME

# CAN'T BRING ME HOME

[ distant locomotive
whistle blows ]

[ audience applauds ]

Tom Waits: THANK YOU.

# PLUGGED 16 SHELLS

# FROM A .30-06

[ whistles sharply ]

# AND A BLACK CROW SNUCK

# THROUGH A HOLE IN THE SKY

# AND I SPENT ALL MY BUTTONS

# ON AN OLD PACK MULE

# AND I MADE ME A LADDER

# FROM A PAWN SHOP MARIMBA

# I LEANED IT ON UP

# 'GAINST A DANDELION TREE

# I LEANED IT ON UP

# 'GAINST A DANDELION TREE

[ whistles sharply ]

# LOOKY HERE

# UNH!

# I'M GONNA WHITTLE YOU
INTO KINDLING #

# 16 SHELLS
FROM A .30-06 #

# WHITTLE YOU
INTO KINDLING #

# 16 SHELLS

# FROM A .30-06

# I SLEPT IN THE HOLLER

# OF A DRY CREEK BED

# AND I TORE OUT THE BUCKETS

# FROM A RED CORVETTE

# TORE OUT THE BUCKETS

# FROM A RED CORVETTE

# LIONEL AND DAVE

# BUTCHER MADE THREE

# MEET ME BY THE KNUCKLES

# OF THE SKINNYBONE TREE

# WITH THE STRINGS
OF A WASHBURN #

# LIKE A CLOTHESLINE

[ whistles sharply ]

# NOW, ME AND THAT MULE

# RIGHT THROUGH THE HOLE

# ME AND THAT MULE

# RIGHT THROUGH THE HOLE

# WHITTLE YOU INTO KINDLING

# 16 SHELLS

# FROM A .30-06

# WHITTLE YOU INTO KINDLING

# 16 SHELLS

# FROM A .30-06

[ gunshot ricochets ]

[ gunshot ricochets ]

[ exaggerated
stomping sound ]

[ gunshots ricochet ]

# I WILL WHITTLE YOU
INTO KINDLING #

# 16 SHELLS
FROM A .30-06 #

# WHITTLE YOU
INTO KINDLING #

# 16 SHELLS
FROM A .30-06 #

# 'CAUSE, PEOPLE

# LOOKY HERE,
I'M A LONG-GONE TRAIN #

# I'M JUST
A LONG-GONE TRAIN #

# JUST LONG

# LONG TRAIN

# I'M JUST LONG

# I'M JUST

# LONG

# I'M JUST

# LONG

# LONG

[ discordant music playing ]

[ audience applauds ]

# A SUMMER WIND

# CAME BLOWING IN

# FROM ACROSS THE SEA

[ "Auld Lang Syne" plays ]

I'VE GOT A BIT OF LOVE
FOR HERE ABOUT NOW.

# I'LL TIP THE NEWSBOY

# I'LL GET ME A SHINE

# I'M 'ON RIDE THAT DREAM

# TO THE END OF THE LINE

# I WILL BE GOING PLACES

# I'M GONNA GET ME
A RIDE #

# UP TO THE RIVERSIDE

# I'M GONNA TAKE YOU

# NEW YORK

# I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN

# I'M ON THE CABOOSE

# I'M DRINKING

# MAN, I JUST

# I'LL MAKE A SPLASH

# ON THE BIG TIME

# THAT'S HOW I WILL ARRIVE

# HAVE YOU GOT

# TWO TENS

# FOR A FIVE ?

# ROLL OUT THE CARPET

# STRIKE UP THE BAND

# I GOTTA BREAK OUT
THE BEST CHAMPAGNE #

# WHEN I LAND

# BEAT THE PARADE DRUM

# YOU GOTTA HIT ALL THE BARS

# I WANT THE MOON

# AND THE STARS

[ gunshot ricochets;
"Auld Lang Syne" plays ]

[ audience laughs ]

# I'M GONNA TAKE YOU

# NEW YORK

# I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN

[ synthesized siren blares ]

# I'M ON THE CABOOSE

# I'M DRINKING MANHATTANS

# I KNOW SOMEDAY

# THEY'RE GONNA NAME

# A STREET AFTER ME

# AND IT'LL BE RIGHT

# NEXT DOOR

# TO OLD

# FRANKLIN D.

# I'M GONNA TAKE YOU

# NEW YORK

[ audience cheers
and applauds ]

[ "Auld Lang Syne" playing ]

[ coughs ]

# I LOVE YOU

# NEW YORK

[ synthesized siren blares ]

# I'M COMING IN

# I'M BLOWING IN

# FROM ACROSS THE SEA

# NEW YORK

# NEW YORK

[ distant fireworks explode ]

# NEW YORK

[ audience applauds ]

UM...

THIS IS, UM...

THIS IS ABOUT ALL
THE BAD DAYS IN THE WORLD.

I USED TO HAVE SOME
LITTLE BAD DAYS,

AND I KEPT 'EM
IN A LITTLE BOX.

THEN, ONE DAY, I THREW THEM
OUT INTO THE YARD.

OH, IT'S JUST A COUPLE
OF LITTLE INNOCENT BAD DAYS.

WELL, WE HAD A BIG RAIN.

[ scattered laughter ]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
IT WAS GROWING IN,

BUT I THINK WE USED TO PUT
EGGSHELLS OUT THERE,

AND COFFEE GROUNDS TOO.

ANYWAY, DON'T PLANT
YOUR BAD DAYS.

THEY GROW INTO WEEKS.

THE WEEKS GROW INTO MONTHS.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

YOU GOT YOURSELF A BAD YEAR.

TAKE IT FROM ME,

CHOKE THOSE LITTLE BAD DAYS.

CHOKE 'EM DOWN TO NOTHING.

THEY'RE YOUR DAYS.
CHOKE 'EM!

[ applause builds ]

YOU CHOKE MY DAYS,
I'LL CHOKE YOURS.

ALL RIGHT.

# IT'S MORE THAN RAIN

# THAT FALLS ON OUR PARADE
TONIGHT #

# IT'S MORE THAN THUNDER

# IT'S MORE THAN THUNDER

# AND IT'S MORE
THAN A BAD DREAM #

# NOW THAT I'M SOBER

# NOTHING BUT SAD TIMES

# NOTHING BUT SAD TIMES

# NONE OF OUR POCKETS

# ARE LINED WITH GOLD

# NOBODY'S CAUGHT THE BOUQUET

NOBODY EVEN CAUGHT THE BOUQUET.

# WE'RE ON THE DARKEST STRETCH

# OF THE ROAD

# I'M DRIVING CRAZILY ON

# AND IT'S MORE THAN TROUBLE

# THAT I'VE GOT
MYSELF INTO #

# IT'S MORE THAN WOE-BEGOTTEN
GRAY SKIES NOW #

[ whistles sharply ]

# NONE OF OUR POCKETS

# ARE LINED WITH GOLD

# NOBODY'S CAUGHT THE BOUQUET

NOBODY EVEN CAUGHT THE BOUQUET.

# WE'RE ON THE DARKEST
STRETCH OF THE ROAD #

# WE'RE DRIVING CRAZILY ON

# CRAZILY ON

# AND IT'S MORE THAN GOODBYE

# I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU

# IT'S MORE THAN WOE-BEGOTTEN
GRAY SKIES NOW #

# IT'S MORE THAN GOODBYE

# I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU

# IT'S MORE THAN WOE-BEGOTTEN

# GRAY

# SKIES

# NOW

[ audience applauds ]

[ telephone rings ]

[ indistinct voice
complaining in Spanish ]

[ muttering ]
Yeah. Mm-hmm.

No, I lost everything
in the crash.

[ caller continues
complaining in Spanish ]

Yeah.

Gimme 200 shares of IBM.

[ caller continues
complaining in Spanish ]

[ hangs up

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO
RIGHT INTO...

A LITTLE MUSICAL
GEOGRAPHY HERE.

WE'LL TAKE A LITTLE TRIP.

WE'RE ON A BOAT.
I'M YOUR CAPTAIN.
JOIN ME NOW.

[ audience laughs ]

[ audience cheers ]

# SHE'S MY

# ONLY TRUE LOVE

# SHE'S ALL THAT I THINK OF

# LOOK HERE

# IN MY WALLET

# THAT'S HER

# SHE GREW UP

# ON A FARM THERE

# THERE'S A PLACE
ON MY ARM #

# WHERE I'VE WRITTEN

# HER NAME

# NEXT TO MINE

# YOU SEE

# I JUST

# CAN'T LIVE

# WITHOUT HER

# AND I'M

# HER ONLY BOY

# AND SHE

# GREW UP

# OUTSIDE

# McHENRY

# IN JOHNSBURG

# ILLINOIS

[ small bell tinkles ]

[ small bell tinkles ]

[ clears throat ]

# THE BATS ARE IN THE BELFRY

# AND THE DEW IS ON THE MOOR

# AND WHERE ARE
THE ARMS THAT HELD ME #

# AND PLEDGED
HER LOVE BEFORE #

# AND PLEDGED
HER LOVE BEFORE #

# AND IT IS
SUCH A SAD OLD FEELING #

# ALL OF THE FIELDS
ARE SOFT AND GREEN #

# AND IT'S MEMORIES

# THAT I'M STEALING

# BUT YOU'RE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# I MADE A GOLDEN PROMISE

# THAT WE WOULD NEVER PART

# AND I GAVE MY LOVE A LOCKET

# AND THEN I BROKE HER HEART

# AND THEN I BROKE HER HEART

# AND IT IS SUCH

# A SAD OLD FEELING

# ALL OF THE FIELDS

# ARE SOFT AND GREEN

# AND IT'S MEMORIES

# THAT I'M STEALING

# BUT YOU'RE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# AND WE WERE RUNNING
THROUGH THE GRAVEYARD #

# AND WE LAUGHED,
MY FRIENDS AND I #

# AND WE SWORE
WE'D BE TOGETHER #

# UNTIL THE DAY WE DIED

# UNTIL THE DAY WE DIED

# AND IT IS

# SUCH A SAD OLD FEELING

# ALL OF THE FIELDS

# ARE SOFT AND GREEN

# AND IT'S MEMORIES

# THAT I'M STEALING

# BUT YOU'RE INNOCENT
WHEN YOU DREAM #

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# IT'S SUCH A SAD
OLD FEELING #

# ALL THE FIELDS
ARE SOFT AND GREEN #

# AND IT'S MEMORIES

# THAT I'M STEALING

# BUT YOU'RE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# WHEN YOU DREAM

# YOU ARE INNOCENT

# WHEN

# YOU

# DREAM

[ applause builds ]

GOOD SEEING YOU.

[ "Auld Lang Syne" plays ]

Man: A HAPPY NEW YEAR,
EVERYBODY,

A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

[ audience applauds ]

# I'M A-CUTTING THROUGH
THE CANEBRAKE #

# RATTLING THE SILL

# THUNDER THAT THE RAIN MAKES

# WHEN THE SHADOW
TOPS THE HILL #

# BIG LIGHT
ON THE BACKSTREET #

# HILL TO EVER MORE

# PACKING DOWN THE LADDER

# WITH A HAMMER
TO THE FLOOR #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK FORD

# I'M ALL BOXED UP

# ON A RED-BELL DAME

# BLACK BLUE JOHNNY

# WITH A BLIND MAN'S CANE

# FIRING YELLOW BULLETS

# WITH A RAG OUT IN THE WIND

# AN OLD BLIND TIGER ON A

# HERE COMING AT ME

# BLACK MARIAH

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# I'M A-CUTTING
THROUGH THE CANEBRAKE #

# RATTLING THE SILL

# THUNDER THAT THE RAIN MAKE

# WHEN THE SHADOW
TOPS THE HILL #

# BIG LIGHT
ON THE BACKSTREET #

# HILL TO EVER MORE

# PACKING DOWN THE LADDER

# WITH A HAMMER TO THE FLOOR

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK FORD

# I'M ALL BOXED UP

# ON A RED-BELL DAME

# BLACK BLUE JOHNNY
WITH A BLIND MAN'S CANE #

# FIRING YELLOW BULLETS

# WITH A RAG OUT IN THE WIND

# THAT OLD BLIND TIGER ON A

# HERE COME AT ME

# BLACK MARIAH

# HERE COME AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# HERE COME AT ME

# BLACK FORD

# HELP ME

# I'M ALL BOXED UP

# ON A RED-BELL DAME

# BLACK BLUE JOHNNY

# WITH A BLIND MAN'S CANE

# FIRING YELLOW BULLETS

# WITH A RAG OUT IN THE WIND

# THAT OLD BLIND TIGER ON A

# HERE COMING AT ME

# BLACK MARIAH

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK FORD

# HELP ME

# I'M ALL BOXED UP

# ON A RED-BELL DAME

# BLACK BLUE JOHNNY

# WITH A BLIND MAN'S CANE

# FIRING YELLOW BULLETS

# WITH A RAG OUT IN THE WIND

# THAT OLD BLIND TIGER ON A

# HERE COMING AT ME

# BLACK MARIAH

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK FORD

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK MARIAH,
BATTERED #

# COMING AT ME

# BATTERED BLACK FORD

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED

# BATTERED