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1
00:00:48,083 --> 00:00:50,833
Hey guys! I got a good one,
do you want to hear it?
2
00:00:51,458 --> 00:00:52,750
Shut up Hopkins!
3
00:00:54,167 --> 00:00:56,583
What do you say to a
black man in a uniform?
4
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:06,333
Excuse me Sir, I’ll have a Big Mac with
cheese and a coke please!
5
00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:09,983
You're a fucking Hillbilly Hopkins!
6
00:01:10,167 --> 00:01:11,583
Say that again snow White!?
7
00:01:11,917 --> 00:01:14,208
[Say that again snow White!?]
8
00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,958
[You’re just jealous of my
big black dick that’s all!]
9
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000
Shut Up!
10
00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:16,667
Hey guys, I've got another one!
11
00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:19,407
Do you know why black people...
12
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,792
NINJAAAAAAAAAS!!!!
13
00:02:43,750 --> 00:02:45,042
GET SOMEEEEEEE!!!
14
00:03:16,042 --> 00:03:18,875
Jenny! Stop playing those stupid
video games and go outside!
15
00:03:19,167 --> 00:03:20,167
Yes mom!
16
00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:58,917
One minute!
I’m coming!
17
00:05:25,042 --> 00:05:26,375
Your pepperoni mam
18
00:05:26,667 --> 00:05:27,667
I didn’t order any pizza!
19
00:05:31,292 --> 00:05:32,875
With extra 9 millimeter
20
00:05:46,458 --> 00:05:47,458
Mooooom?!
21
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:36,208
Darling! Breakfast is ready!
22
00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:04,333
Do you know Why Americans
don’t have hemorrhoids?
23
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,333
Because all the assholes live in Canada!
24
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,167
Hopkins” You old sack of shit”
25
00:12:16,333 --> 00:12:18,125
Did they give you bionic balls too?
26
00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:20,333
You know I’ve already got balls of steel!
27
00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:34,065
Okay, let’s not break your new toy!!
28
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:35,693
It’s good to see you again, John!
29
00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:37,765
Shit, you look like somebody’s secretary”
30
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,250
An Air Force Uniform,
and you get all the pussy, dude...
31
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,625
So I left the Army!! You
want me to hook you up?
32
00:12:44,917 --> 00:12:47,208
I’m good pussy-Wise, man. And
you can keep your desk job.
33
00:12:48,125 --> 00:12:51,365
Holy Shit Hopkins, for all those years
I thought you were rotting in a rice paddy!
34
00:12:51,542 --> 00:12:52,742
How did you survive this shit?
35
00:12:52,917 --> 00:12:54,083
The usual routine...
36
00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:58,708
It all started when those fucking
gooks unleashed Raptors on my ass...
37
00:14:00,667 --> 00:14:01,792
Fuck off bastard!
38
00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,583
Fuck off bastard!
39
00:14:14,958 --> 00:14:16,792
Hey Hopkins, Need a Hand??
40
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:32,083
Come on, you fucking bastard
commie lizards swingers...
41
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,250
Come on Kowalsky!!!
Get to the chopper!!!
42
00:14:38,583 --> 00:14:43,458
Yes, we are gonna have a little party,
oh yes a nice little party just you and me
43
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:47,750
A party, a little party,
a nice little party...
44
00:14:55,042 --> 00:14:57,125
That was the last time I saw Kowalsky...
45
00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:59,250
He was a nice guy...
For a Polack!
46
00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:00,542
Fucking mess...
47
00:15:01,833 --> 00:15:03,313
I wonder What became of Snow White...
48
00:15:04,917 --> 00:15:07,375
So! What brings you to
the boondocks, Hopkins?
49
00:15:07,667 --> 00:15:09,458
I’ve got good news and bad news John
50
00:15:10,375 --> 00:15:11,375
Good News First
51
00:15:11,833 --> 00:15:13,125
They murdered your ex-Wife
52
00:15:13,542 --> 00:15:14,542
Shit...
53
00:15:16,917 --> 00:15:18,125
No more alimony!!!
54
00:15:23,042 --> 00:15:24,208
And they took your kid!
55
00:15:27,042 --> 00:15:28,643
Don't mess John!
It's up to the police to handle this!!
56
00:15:28,667 --> 00:15:30,434
Tell me everything you know, Hopkins!
Spill it!
57
00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:32,618
We’re not in Vietnam anymore John,
there are laws here!
58
00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:33,792
I can’t say anything!
59
00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,309
Now you listen to me, you son of a bitch!
60
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:38,018
You've never been able to put your
dick in anything but fat-mama San!!
61
00:15:38,042 --> 00:15:39,434
You don’t know What it’s like
to have a kid!
62
00:15:39,458 --> 00:15:41,643
That’s fucking cold, John...
there was that girl in high school...
63
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:42,667
Where, When, How!!??
64
00:15:43,458 --> 00:15:45,893
You have no clue about the shitstorm
you’re about to walk into...
65
00:15:45,917 --> 00:15:47,208
Walking in is the easy part
66
00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:49,942
it’s walking out Without your
dick in a sling that’s rough...
67
00:15:53,250 --> 00:15:55,750
A joint operation between
the FBI and the Air Force
68
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:58,208
has been set-up to nail
a big weapons dealer.
69
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,542
As of yet we don't know who he
is or where he operates from.
70
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,487
What’s the deal with my daughter?
71
00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:07,583
You will not believe me John,
but his men... They are Ninjas!
72
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:10,167
Shit!
Those fuckers again!
73
00:16:19,750 --> 00:16:22,958
I’ve gone undercover into a gang of bikers,
and I’ve set up a deal in a few days.
74
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:24,973
We are gonna nail them John, don’t worry!
75
00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:18,125
On time, as promised
76
00:17:49,292 --> 00:17:52,000
Do you know Why your ancestors
roamed the desert for 40 years?
77
00:17:55,667 --> 00:17:58,000
Because an asshole lost a coin!!
78
00:17:59,125 --> 00:18:01,042
Freeze motherfucker FBI!!!
79
00:18:09,542 --> 00:18:10,542
Surprises!
80
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:12,500
I love surprises”
81
00:18:12,917 --> 00:18:14,750
I LOVE SURPRISES!!
82
00:18:17,208 --> 00:18:18,458
Hey Hopkins”
83
00:18:21,042 --> 00:18:22,708
How is your arm doing?
84
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:43,542
Shit!
85
00:18:53,667 --> 00:18:54,667
Freeze!
86
00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:17,917
Greetings from Smith and Wesson!
87
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,375
John...
88
00:19:37,375 --> 00:19:38,375
You!!!
89
00:20:32,292 --> 00:20:34,417
Come Closer... I'll speak...
90
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:49,934
Where is my daughter you motherfucker”
91
00:20:49,958 --> 00:20:51,558
It’s not a way to treat an old friend...
92
00:21:02,625 --> 00:21:04,667
Reunions, I love reunions!
93
00:21:42,542 --> 00:21:44,333
Hey John! I almost forgot!
94
00:21:44,750 --> 00:21:47,583
If you want your kid back,
I’ve got a job for you!
95
00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:01,542
Fuck” If I’d known I was going to
die today I would have got laid...
96
00:22:01,833 --> 00:22:05,083
Hold on Hopkins it’s gonna be OK!
Hold on!
97
00:22:05,500 --> 00:22:08,375
You know, there is something
I never told you John...
98
00:22:12,417 --> 00:22:14,667
You know, all that racist bullshit...
99
00:22:16,583 --> 00:22:17,667
My old man...
100
00:22:18,292 --> 00:22:20,625
He died in a concentration camp...
101
00:22:20,917 --> 00:22:22,042
Shit Hopkins, I didn’t know
102
00:22:26,250 --> 00:22:28,500
He fell from the guard tower!
103
00:25:46,542 --> 00:25:50,667
Colonel, the American is here,
the American is in Val Verde
104
00:25:50,958 --> 00:25:52,125
Thank you Bernardo
105
00:27:30,917 --> 00:27:31,917
Don’t worry...
106
00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:35,042
I’ll keep an eye on him...
107
00:28:08,208 --> 00:28:09,368
It will have cost you an arm!
108
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:14,958
And a leg!
109
00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:38,458
Beautiful! Bravo John!
110
00:30:38,958 --> 00:30:40,958
I hope my little warm-up...
Pleased you!
111
00:30:41,250 --> 00:30:42,610
Where is my daughter motherfucker!
112
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,125
Jenny!
113
00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:19,542
Sargent Kowalsky was part of my experiments
when I was working for the Soviet Union...
114
00:31:20,917 --> 00:31:24,542
Like your friend... “Snow White”.
115
00:31:24,875 --> 00:31:26,500
Unfortunately, he didn’t survive
116
00:31:29,292 --> 00:31:31,417
You could have been a
wonderful guinea pig John!
117
00:31:31,708 --> 00:31:36,042
If only that... goddamn Colonel Yin
didn’t let you go...
118
00:31:36,333 --> 00:31:38,917
Well, let’s get to the point...
119
00:31:39,583 --> 00:31:43,792
John, you are known to be the best
warrior in the world, and I need you,
120
00:31:44,125 --> 00:31:45,333
to train my Ninja Army
121
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,458
and set-up a new world order,
thanks to my new organization...
122
00:31:51,167 --> 00:31:52,542
THE PENTANGLE!
123
00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:04,917
Kowalsky let her go, it’s me John!
124
00:32:06,542 --> 00:32:07,625
Don’t sweat it!
125
00:32:08,125 --> 00:32:13,167
His brain has been replaced by a powerful
4Mhz microprocessor, to make him
126
00:32:13,458 --> 00:32:15,792
a Perfect - Little - Soldier!
127
00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:20,542
So... What do you think of
my proposal John?
128
00:32:21,042 --> 00:32:23,833
If you want your kid back,
then you gonna cooperate, right?
129
00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:28,542
Kiddy wants to say something?
130
00:32:30,708 --> 00:32:32,917
Kill all these bastards
until the last one dad!!
131
00:32:33,208 --> 00:32:34,208
That's my girl!
132
00:32:38,583 --> 00:32:39,875
To the helicopter, quick!
133
00:32:45,167 --> 00:32:46,167
Daddyyyyy!
134
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:50,600
Sargent Kowlaksy stop! This is an order!
135
00:33:21,125 --> 00:33:22,958
No no no no no Noooo!
136
00:33:23,250 --> 00:33:24,250
Yes!
137
00:33:31,125 --> 00:33:33,000
Lower! Lower!
138
00:33:33,292 --> 00:33:35,917
Lower! Come on! Lower!
139
00:33:45,208 --> 00:33:46,375
Farewell John!
140
00:33:48,167 --> 00:33:49,917
I think our little deal is off!
141
00:33:51,667 --> 00:33:54,375
But don’t worry, I will
take care of your daughter!
142
00:34:14,458 --> 00:34:16,292
I can look after myself,
you creepy bastard!
143
00:34:24,208 --> 00:34:25,750
[Kowalsky it's over!]
144
00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:28,083
It's me, John, Remember?
145
00:34:28,792 --> 00:34:30,292
[Let her go]
146
00:34:33,167 --> 00:34:34,292
I told you to let her go!
147
00:34:34,708 --> 00:34:36,458
[I told you to let her go!]
148
00:34:40,542 --> 00:34:43,167
What are you doing Kowalsky, don't mess!
I told you to let her go!
149
00:34:45,833 --> 00:34:47,125
Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
150
00:34:47,417 --> 00:34:48,458
Jennyyyyyyyy!
151
00:34:49,042 --> 00:34:50,417
Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
152
00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:55,167
Noooooooooo!
153
00:36:34,875 --> 00:36:35,875
You are an American”
154
00:36:36,542 --> 00:36:38,333
But in your blood must flow
Ninja Blood”
155
00:36:39,750 --> 00:36:40,958
As says the Ninja Code,
156
00:36:41,542 --> 00:36:44,000
Me must teach you Art of Ninjitsu!!
157
00:36:47,792 --> 00:36:48,792
Teach me!
158
00:39:21,458 --> 00:39:25,292
A true ninja knows how to
master the 4 elements,
159
00:39:26,542 --> 00:39:30,250
but you need to master
the Fifth Element!
160
00:39:35,917 --> 00:39:36,958
Air...
161
00:39:40,958 --> 00:39:41,958
Fire...
162
00:39:44,958 --> 00:39:45,958
Water...
163
00:39:49,458 --> 00:39:50,458
Earth...
164
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:57,500
and Time!
165
00:40:00,458 --> 00:40:01,750
Focus!
166
00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:05,833
Forget all What you knew...
167
00:40:06,875 --> 00:40:09,083
Don’t walk into the past...
168
00:40:10,208 --> 00:40:12,167
Don’t dream of the future...
169
00:40:13,042 --> 00:40:14,333
FOCUS!
170
00:40:15,042 --> 00:40:16,167
And what will be...
171
00:40:16,875 --> 00:40:18,083
WILL BE!
172
00:50:02,083 --> 00:50:04,458
Remember, my American disciple...
173
00:50:04,750 --> 00:50:10,417
Only a Commando Ninja,
can kill another Commando Ninja!
174
00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:14,917
Their can be only one true Ninja!
175
00:50:16,125 --> 00:50:19,458
But Sensei, did you train any other
Commando Ninja before me?
176
00:50:21,917 --> 00:50:24,250
I’ve had another disciple before you,
177
00:50:25,458 --> 00:50:26,458
very strong,
178
00:50:27,708 --> 00:50:28,708
Formidable!
179
00:50:31,250 --> 00:50:32,875
But that person strayed from the path
180
00:50:33,875 --> 00:50:35,792
and was lost into the dark side!
181
00:50:37,042 --> 00:50:39,583
Now they are... A Red Ninja”
182
00:50:44,083 --> 00:50:46,958
The day will come, my American Disciple
183
00:50:47,250 --> 00:50:48,375
you’ll know!
184
00:50:49,292 --> 00:50:52,333
And you’ll have to cross the fire
of destiny alone!
185
00:50:54,625 --> 00:50:55,625
Now GO!
186
00:50:56,125 --> 00:50:58,333
Commando Ninja!
187
00:53:41,708 --> 00:53:42,917
No!
188
00:53:44,167 --> 00:53:45,417
Wait John!
189
00:53:46,708 --> 00:53:47,750
Lori is that you?
190
00:53:48,042 --> 00:53:49,125
Yes it’s me John...
191
00:53:51,125 --> 00:53:54,292
Lori, your Wife, remember?
192
00:53:54,708 --> 00:53:56,188
But you’re dead!
How is this possible?
193
00:53:57,500 --> 00:54:00,750
The Colonel Kinsky time travel device...
194
00:54:03,083 --> 00:54:06,083
The Lori who was murdered
was a Lori from another space and time...
195
00:54:07,500 --> 00:54:10,700
So this is Why those fucking Ninjas were
always one step ahead of us back in Nam!
196
00:54:14,875 --> 00:54:17,625
When Kinsky first discovered
that technology...
197
00:54:17,917 --> 00:54:20,958
He first hired out his
services to the Soviet Union
198
00:54:23,167 --> 00:54:24,167
Then...
199
00:54:24,292 --> 00:54:26,042
as he became richer
200
00:54:26,333 --> 00:54:28,333
his thirst for power grew and grew!
201
00:54:29,417 --> 00:54:30,667
Jenny? Where is she?
202
00:54:31,708 --> 00:54:35,083
Into the future John, in 1998...
203
00:54:36,417 --> 00:54:38,917
Where the colonel is secretly training
his Great army...
204
00:54:40,208 --> 00:54:41,417
Send me into the future!
205
00:54:41,958 --> 00:54:43,333
Do it, for Jenny!
206
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,167
Bring her back John...
207
00:54:56,083 --> 00:54:59,708
Everything could be back like when
we were a family,
208
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,583
You, me and Jenny!
209
00:55:09,792 --> 00:55:11,375
I don't like your new pajamas!
210
00:55:46,792 --> 00:55:48,542
There can be only one Ninja!
211
00:57:09,500 --> 00:57:12,542
Holy Shit... the democrats must
have taken over...
212
00:58:10,667 --> 00:58:12,507
I’m looking for my daughter,
have you seen her?
213
00:58:42,708 --> 00:58:46,125
I... HATE... PUNKS!!
214
01:00:13,708 --> 01:00:15,417
Hey Dad, it’s been a While!!
215
01:00:18,417 --> 01:00:19,417
Jenny?
216
01:00:21,958 --> 01:00:23,458
I missed you so much Dad!
217
01:00:29,708 --> 01:00:30,792
How is that possible?
218
01:00:31,333 --> 01:00:32,693
We left each other 20 minutes ago!
219
01:00:35,375 --> 01:00:37,500
I think we’ve got a lot to tell
each other dad!
220
01:01:02,208 --> 01:01:03,208
Jenny watch out!!!
221
01:01:05,208 --> 01:01:06,208
Daaad!!!
222
01:01:36,042 --> 01:01:37,042
Kowalsky!!
223
01:01:37,750 --> 01:01:39,458
You fucking commie toaster”
224
01:01:39,792 --> 01:01:40,333
Wait Dad”
225
01:01:40,625 --> 01:01:41,667
I reprogrammed Kowalsky,
226
01:01:41,958 --> 01:01:44,078
He helped me survive all those
years Without you dad!!
227
01:01:44,583 --> 01:01:45,583
He is with us now”
228
01:01:47,333 --> 01:01:48,667
Nice to see you again buddy!
229
01:01:57,667 --> 01:02:00,627
There may have been some glitches on
the language pack when I rebooted him!
230
01:02:45,042 --> 01:02:47,522
Did I ever tell you about the Irish man
who didn’t want to die?
231
01:02:47,667 --> 01:02:48,125
Hopkins!
232
01:02:48,542 --> 01:02:49,667
Uncle Hopkins!
16808
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