All language subtitles for Spin City s06e15 Sex Lies And Video Date.eng

It was nice meeting you.

Thanks for keeping me company
while I was waiting.

Well, hey, I'm the deputy
mayor, you're a taxpayer.

It's my job to make sure
you have everything you need.

Actually, I don't pay taxes
here. I'm from Kansas.

Even better...
a tourist.

It's also my job
to make sure our guests

have a pleasurable stay
in the city.

The revenue generated
by tourism is...

do you want
my phone number?

That would be great.

Look, it's your first time
in the city.

Maybe we could go to dinner
or see a play or...

We could do that.

I've got to go.
Call me.

I just met the coolest gal.

We spent 20 minutes together.
She is so into me.

You have such a big head.

What makes you think
she likes you?

Wow.

I think she spelled
it wrong.

I'm going to call her
now and ask her out.

You were just with her.
Why didn't you do it then?

Didn't want
to seem desperate.

Charlie, Caitlin, I want you
to meet my niece Stephanie.

You're the mayor's
niece?

Have you met?

[CELLULAR PHONE RINGS]

No.

Hello?

Who is this?

[WHISPERS]
Wrong number.

I can't believe she didn't tell
me she was the mayor's niece.

Well, you better keep away
from her.

The mayor
is very protective.

Ladies and gentleman,
your attention.

After months of waiting,
my 3/4-length

leather designer coat
has finally arrived.

Of course I'm going
to keep away from her.

You think 'cause she's a young hot
attractive babe, I can't be trusted?

I-I'm sorry. Did you
expect an answer to that?

Hey, hey,
this coat cost $1,200.

I was on an 8-month
waiting list.

Seems like a waste of time and
money for a piece of clothing.

That is a fabulous
jacket. I'm Eric.

Oh. Carter.

This is why you're stuck
sleeping with women.

Hey, guys, guess what.

I'm going to be on that
TV show "blind date."

Isn't "blind date"
that show

where they find a sexy girl
and film her on a date

with some desperate guy

who makes a complete
fool of himself?

Yes, it is.

Why would
you do that, Paul?

I might meet somebody special,
and even if I don't,

going on television is a great way
to advertise the merchandise.

Oh, Charlie, Carter and I
are going to Philadelphia

for tonight's
mayor's conference,

and I'm not taking the limo.
I'm driving myself.

Great idea, sir. So you can
show those other pampered mayors

that you're a no-frills
down-to-earth man of the people.

That, and I want to show off
my brand-new corvette.

Look, I have a big favor
to ask of you.

I need someone to stop by
the mansion tonight

and check in
on my niece Stephanie.

It's her first night
in the city,

and I guess I'm being
overprotective.

I have no plans, sir.
I'm sorry to hear that.

Caitlin, can you
do this for me?

No problem.

No drinking,

no parties, no guys.

I've got it
under control, sir.

Thank you.

So, Charlie...

what's that
on your hand?

Uh, it's my lunch order.

Oh, sounds good.
I'll have that, too.

Hey, Charlie. Come here.
Yeah, Paul, what's up?

The crew
from "blind date" is here.

We're about to film the part where I meet the girl.
I'm a little nervous.

Shouldn't you be nervous
telling your boss

you're filming a TV show in
city hall during work hours?

No, I'm fine with that.
I'm just...

I'm worried about the date.
Can you give me any advice?

Keep your cards close
to the vest.

Don't appear too eager.

Don't appear too eager.

Okay, okay,
yeah, thanks, buddy.

MAN: Action.

Hi.

I'm Ashley.

You're the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen in my entire life.

Brand-new corvette coupe.

$46,000.

It's a beautiful car,
sir.

You should get one.

Maybe I will... In nine years,

after I finish
paying off this jacket.

[STARTS ENGINE]

Uh, careful, sir,

there's some construction
ahead of us.

Oh, I gotcha.
I'll back up.

Reverse is over...

[GRINDING]

Down... And up.

[GRINDING]

There we go.

Don't worry, Carol.
I'll still make the movie.

It's just that I promised the
mayor I'd check up on his niece.

Yeah, she's this young girl
visiting from Kansas,

and so we'll just eat
some ice cream,

do a little girl talk, I'll be
out of there in 20 minutes.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

I'll call you back.

Thanks for coming.
I really appreciate it.

No problem.

All right, everyone,
listen up.

The party's over.

You...
put down that drink.

You...
get off of that girl.

You...
stop pumping that keg.

You're getting
too much foam.

What are you doing?
I just met these people

at a bar. I invited them
here to have a good time.

Your Uncle would be disappointed
if he knew you're having a party.

You're right.
I've been a bad girl.

Do you like bad girls?

Your turn.

Stephanie, this is the home
of the mayor of New York.

You can't bring people
over here just to impress them.

Anyway, it's not much...

But I call it home.

We've been trapped here
for nearly three hours.

Good God, we're going
to suffocate down here!

Carter, Carter, Carter,
we've got plenty of air.

What we should worry
about is a gas leak.

You know,
if we ruptured a pipe,

the smallest spark could
trigger an enormous explosion.

We're going to die.

This morning, all I could
think about was this coat.

Now it all seems
so meaningless.

God, forgive me
for being so superficial.

If you get me out of here,

I promise to stop being
so materialistic...

Carter! Are you making
a pact with God?

Yes, I am.

I want a piece of
that action. Dear God...

hey, hey, I'm mid-pact here.
Let me finish.

And I promise
I'll give away

all my top-name
designer clothes

and live more humbly.

Amen.

God, if you get me
out of here alive,

I will make it my goal...

MAN: Hang tight, guys!

We'll have you
out of there in a minute.

Oh! Ha ha ha ha!

Whew, that was a close one!

Ha ha ha ha!

So, what is this jacket,
a 46-long?

These half-full beer cans
are making me sick.

I know. What's wrong
with these kids?

In my day, you opened
a beer, you finished it.

Where's Stephanie?

She wasn't feeling well. She
went to the bedroom to lie down.

STEPHANIE: Charlie,
I don't feel good.

Can you bring me
a glass of water?

Yeah.

Stephanie?

[GIGGLES]

I knew
that would work.

I can't believe
I fell for the old

"pretend to be sick,
put on a sexy robe,

and try to have sex
with Charlie" trick.

Why have you been
avoiding me?

Among other things, your Uncle is my boss.
Why didn't you tell me?

Because I knew
it would scare you off.

I thought that enticing you
with my body

was the best way
to get your attention.

Well, obviously,
you've done your homework.

Stephanie, I'm sorry.

But this is never
going to happen.

I guess I did get
a little carried away.

I've just never met
a guy like you.

But if you feel
that strongly,

I won't have sex
with you.

I win, yet the victory
seems so hollow.

The mayor's home. I got
to get rid of these beer cans.

What the hell is going on in here?
Nothing.

MAYOR:
Are you in the bedroom?

Oh, my God.
Hide in the bathroom.

Wait,
there's no reason to panic.

When the mayor comes in,
all he'll see

is candles, champagne,
his niece in a robe, me...

Hide!

Stephanie?

Charlie, what are you doing
in my bedroom?

You've been away
on a long business trip.

I thought I'd lay out
some candles...

And rose petals.

Where's Stephanie?

[BEER CAN CLANKS]

Who's in there?

I can't believe this,
Charlie!

You're in here
with my niece!

No, I can explain this.

He's with me.

I can't believe I actually
lied to the mayor.

This kind of thing never
happened to me before I met you.

Hey, I only went over there
to help you out,

and I didn't
do anything wrong.

You think because
I've screwed up in the past

over and over and over

that I'm just going to
automatically accept the blame?

I was hoping.

This is crazy. Maybe I should
tell the mayor the truth.

Why wouldn't
he believe it?

Charlie, I was there. I saw you
not have sex with Stephanie,

andstill
have my doubts.

Let's just stay
with the story.

We're a couple,
lovey-dovey...

In a couple of weeks,
I'll break up with you.

Fine, but I'm breaking up
with you.

Except there's one thing.
I'm a terrible liar.

The mayor thinks that
we slept together.

How am I going
to make that believable?

Are you familiar
with method acting?

[SIGHS]

I am serious.
I've never been able

to be dishonest
to people I'm close with.

I've been thinking
about last night,

a few things
don't line up for me.

I want you to come
to my office this afternoon.

That... that will be
a little tough for me.

I'm booked solid.

No, you're not.

You're right.
I'm completely free.

It's hard to see
how this could go well.

Carter, what is
with that suit?

What, it's not so bad.

Charlie,
what do you think?

I think that somewhere

there's a guy teaching
driver's ed. Naked.

The days of the self-indulgent,
style-obsessed Carter Heywood are over.

I have straightened out
my priorities.

This entire outfit
cost a very reasonable

$35.

Carter, this isn't you.

Oh, but you're wrong.

My new wardrobe makes
my life so much easier.

This morning, there were
no seats on the subway.

I just sat on the floor.

Carter,
this is ridiculous.

Look, you have
a big stain here.

This is not a stain.

I think your suit
is leaking.

How are you, Caitlin?

My, aren't we looking
lovely this morning?

I take it
the blind date went well.

Yes, it did. All that's left
is the final interview,

where they ask me if I want
to take out Ashley again.

What are you going to say?
I'm going to say yes.

The old Paul would have
overthought the thing.

Now I'm just going
to go with it.

That's great. Hopefully,
she'll want to go out again.

What do you mean
"hopefully"?

I mean, I hope she'll feel
the same way you do.

Oh, my God. What if
I said yes to a date,

and she says no
just to make a fool out of me?

What if Ashley was pretending
to have a good time

when she was just setting me up
to humiliate me on television?

I'm sure
she wouldn't do that.

Don't you defend her.

You women, you're all alike.

I'll bet... I'll bet you
and Ashley are in cahoots!

We are not!

Cahoots!

All right,
let's cut to the chase.

I find your story
from the other night

to be a bit spurious.

Yes. Spurious.

Now, you say you came to the
mansion to check up on Stephanie,

and she was asleep
in her room.

That's correct.
I say that.

But how did the two of you
end up in my bedroom?

Well, I went there
to work on the fall budget,

but it didn't take long

before Caitlin
got that look in her eye.

I'm partly to blame, because I
was wearing a pair of levi's

that were fresh
out of the dryer.

I don't want to put words
in your mouth, but...

Exactly how excited
were you by my jeans?

Unfortunately,
once we got past the jeans,

excitement turned
to awkward disappointment.

But I don't want to put words
in your mouth.

Exactly how
disappointing were you?

That... that's okay.
I'm satisfied.

That makes one of us.

Uh, so the next question...

that's it. I can't
take this anymore.

The truth is,
I came to the mansion,

Stephanie was having
a party, and...

wait. A party?

That's it, a party?

I thought you were covering
because Charlie and Stephanie

were, you know,
mixed up together.

You thought that?
That is so funny!

Ha ha ha ha!

[FAKE LAUGHING]

Wrap it up.

Okay.

So that's why you made up
this fekokteh story

about you two
sleeping together,

so that you could
protect Stephanie.

So that's the truth...

Caitlin.

Yes.

That's the truth.

I did it!
All these years, I couldn't

lie to people I cared about.
Oh, it's so freeing!

Oh, hey, Carter.

You know, that suit
is really growing on me.

Ha ha. Really?
Thanks.

I'm lying. It's hideous.

By the way,
I want to apologize

for slamming you before.

The fact is, you really
do look great in those jeans.

Well, thanks.
I am on fire!

Ha ha!

Oh, I'm sorry. Come on, cheer up.
We got away with it.

I really appreciate
you helping me out,

but I can't
leave it like this.

I'm not the guy
he thinks I am,

and he needs to know that.

Paul, I caught
your press conference.

It was riveting.

Thanks, Caitlin.

[GROANS]

Hey, Eric.

Hey...

hey.

I hate this jacket.

This jacket... I hate it,
I hate it, I hate it!

I hate it, I hate it,
I hate it.

Whoa, whoa, Carter.
I've been there.

You might save a few bucks,
but in the long run,

you're going to wish
you took it to a tailor.

Paul, I can't live
like this.

I need to be well-dressed.

That's who I am.

So get your clothes back.

[SIGHS]
It's not that easy.

I made a pact
with God.

If I renege on that, what kind
of person does that make me?

You spend every waking hour
helping people.

Who was it who convinced
the mayor to give

the extra funds
to the children's center?

Who plays chess
every Saturday

down at
the retirement home?

Who painted my entire
apartment for free?

Free? You told me you were going
to introduce me to Bette midler.

Right.

I know her.

Look, Carter, I may not know
a lot about religion,

but I know the
kind of guy you are,

and I don't think
God is going to mind

if you wear
some nice clothes.

You know, thanks, Paul.

Come on, Carter, let me buy you
a cup of hot chocolate, huh?

So you're telling me, you were
in my bedroom with my niece,

and nothing happened.

Come on, Charlie. I know
when you're hiding something.

It's like when you called in sick
that Monday after new year's Eve.

I was here, sir.
You called in sick.

I was lying. I had
to get that off my chest.

If this were
about anything else,

I wouldn't doubt you
for a second,

but given your past
with women...

I've been working here
for two years.

Have I given you
a reason to mistrust me?

No. But, come on,
are you telling me

that you weren't attracted
to my niece?

I was,
but I didn't act on it

because I would
never betray you,

not for a woman,
not for anything.

So basically, I'm more
important to you than women?

I'd rather not think
of it that way, but...

But, yes.

Now, let me get this
straight...

if Tyra banks
were my sister,

you wouldn't want
to sleep with her?

No.

Okay.

You're at a beach
with Penelope Cruz,

Cameron Diaz,
and Julia Roberts...

don't push it.

Okay.

Hi again, everybody,
I'm Roger lodge,

and welcome
to "blind date."

Come on, everyone,
Paul's "blind date" is on.

Today's first date
is between Paul

who works as a press secretary
in New York City

and Ashley,
an aspiring model/actress.

Now, Paul collects stamps,
Ashley is just hot.

Hey, hey!

So let's see
how these two make out.

Have another one.
It's on me.

This is going to be fun.
Hot tubs are sexy.

Well, yeah, I mean,
you know,

if you can get past
the fact

that you're marinating
in a cesspool of germs.

Come on, get in.

Is that a tattoo?

Yeah, I put on
a temporary one.

I thought it would
make me look tough.

A unicorn?

Were they out of snuggles
the fabric softener bear?

So let's take a look at what
Paul had to say about Ashley.

I had a great time with Ashley.
I would love to see her again.

Wait, uh, I would not
like to see her again.

Uh, I would. I don't.

Um, okay,
I can't decide. Um...

Okay, okay, okay.

I would not like
to see her again.

Paul,
why'd you say that?

Preemptive strike.
This way, when she comes out

and says she doesn't like me,
I don't look like an idiot.

I think that ship sailed
at the hot dog stand.

Now let's see
what Ashley thought.

Paul was...
he was a little weird,

but I would definitely
like to go out

on another date with him,

you know, to...
to get to know him better.

If you know what I mean.

She liked me.

And I rejected her.

I'm a stupid, stupid man.

This time
on national television.

My name is Paul lassiter. I'm the
press secretary for the mayor

of the city of New York.

I'm Ashley,
and I'm a model/actress.

I like girls who, uh,
you know,

make a dot
with a little zero.

I looked like a fool.

You came across
really well.

In fact...

oh, even I can't
pull this off.

[MAN] Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
[BARKING]

Moo.

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