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1
00:00:00,783 --> 00:00:03,583
Angie, could you send
flowers to Allison
2
00:00:03,483 --> 00:00:06,982
with a note that says,
"last night was special.
3
00:00:06,849 --> 00:00:09,782
Thinking of you...
Charlie"?
4
00:00:09,676 --> 00:00:11,310
That is so sweet.
5
00:00:11,265 --> 00:00:13,332
Yeah, it is.
6
00:00:13,266 --> 00:00:16,732
Could you also send flowers
to Jennifer...
7
00:00:17,903 --> 00:00:22,603
with a note that says,
"last night was special.
8
00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:24,313
"Thinking of you...
9
00:00:24,256 --> 00:00:26,456
Charlie"?
10
00:00:26,384 --> 00:00:29,384
Maybe I should get a bunch
of those cards printed up.
11
00:00:29,275 --> 00:00:33,241
No, that would be
so impersonal.
12
00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:34,820
I don't believe it.
13
00:00:34,770 --> 00:00:37,436
You went shoe shopping again?
14
00:00:37,343 --> 00:00:38,610
I needed sandals...
15
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:43,414
And boots and clogs
and platforms and pumps.
16
00:00:43,219 --> 00:00:45,386
Mike's been in Zimbabwe
for weeks.
17
00:00:45,316 --> 00:00:48,049
You're obviously substituting
clogs for sex.
18
00:00:47,952 --> 00:00:49,419
Just because I go shopping
19
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:51,515
doesn't mean
I'm preoccupied with...
20
00:00:51,447 --> 00:00:54,913
is it me, or have his pants
gotten tighter?
21
00:00:56,782 --> 00:00:58,382
Now you're chewing ice.
22
00:00:58,338 --> 00:00:59,905
Why don't you just wear
23
00:00:59,864 --> 00:01:02,163
a sign that says,
"I need some"?
24
00:01:03,485 --> 00:01:06,385
Better yet...
put on those pumps.
25
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,946
You know, that whole
chewing-ice thing
26
00:01:09,806 --> 00:01:11,939
is just a juvenile myth.
27
00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,886
Is it me, or have his pants
gotten tighter?
28
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,863
Someone should have warned me
29
00:01:49,828 --> 00:01:53,161
it was Paul's turn
to buy the bagels.
30
00:01:53,798 --> 00:01:55,632
What is this?
31
00:01:55,577 --> 00:01:58,744
That is authentic
imitation lox.
32
00:02:00,565 --> 00:02:03,264
You bought fool's lox?
33
00:02:03,169 --> 00:02:08,669
"Discontinue use
if irritation persists."
34
00:02:08,442 --> 00:02:10,576
Let's start
before my eyes swell shut.
35
00:02:10,507 --> 00:02:13,441
Some good news...
since the mayor took office,
36
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,667
200,000 new jobs
have been created.
37
00:02:15,589 --> 00:02:18,722
He's declaring victory
in the war on unemployment.
38
00:02:18,606 --> 00:02:19,973
With that in mind,
39
00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:22,107
he wants us
to start thinking of...
40
00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:24,437
New wars.
41
00:02:24,355 --> 00:02:26,789
How about a war
on Pennsylvania?
42
00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,674
I'm sorry.
I hate those smug bastards.
43
00:02:32,106 --> 00:02:34,006
Wait. I've seen
the employment figures.
44
00:02:33,948 --> 00:02:36,282
Most of the new jobs
are minimum wage.
45
00:02:36,204 --> 00:02:38,804
They're still new jobs.
Don't make waves.
46
00:02:38,713 --> 00:02:41,080
Good morning, everybody!
Oh, did you hear the news?
47
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,867
I just told them
about the new jobs.
48
00:02:42,811 --> 00:02:44,177
No, not that...
49
00:02:44,145 --> 00:02:46,512
today is Mickey Rooney's
birthday!
50
00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:47,865
With all due respect,
51
00:02:47,829 --> 00:02:49,796
we have not won the war
on unemployment.
52
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,701
All we've done is create
a temporary fix,
53
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,041
not a long-term solution.
54
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,540
Okay.
55
00:02:54,499 --> 00:02:56,333
Ah, lox!
56
00:02:56,279 --> 00:02:57,845
It's not a victory...
57
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:59,037
Carter, please...
58
00:02:59,010 --> 00:03:01,576
Not on Mickey Rooney's
birthday.
59
00:03:01,488 --> 00:03:04,521
My job here is to look out
for the disenfranchised...
60
00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:06,042
the people who have no voice.
61
00:03:05,998 --> 00:03:08,732
Mr. mayor, please don't
ignore me on this issue.
62
00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:18,850
My God, there's
a chicken bone in my lox!
63
00:03:24,263 --> 00:03:26,630
Can I talk to you
about something personal?
64
00:03:26,550 --> 00:03:28,016
There's nothing wrong
65
00:03:27,979 --> 00:03:30,279
with wearing a shirt
two days in a row!
66
00:03:30,202 --> 00:03:32,768
People in other countries
do it all the time.
67
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,580
Since Mike left New York,
I've been a little lonely.
68
00:03:35,475 --> 00:03:38,375
I figured you'd understand
since Claudia left home,
69
00:03:38,269 --> 00:03:40,536
and you probably
haven't had sex in...
70
00:03:40,462 --> 00:03:41,729
Two years.
71
00:03:41,701 --> 00:03:45,634
But she just left
to become a nun a month ago.
72
00:03:45,481 --> 00:03:47,314
She went into the convent
a month ago.
73
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:51,626
She began practicing at home
October 4, 1998.
74
00:03:51,453 --> 00:03:54,685
How do you deal with it?!
I have been shopping like crazy!
75
00:03:54,564 --> 00:03:57,731
Caitlin, the only way
to come to terms with celibacy
76
00:03:57,615 --> 00:03:59,215
is to embrace it.
77
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:00,671
Buddha teaches
78
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:04,933
that life is suffering
caused by craving or desire.
79
00:04:04,762 --> 00:04:08,061
Well, once you eliminate
those evils,
80
00:04:07,938 --> 00:04:10,904
the suffering stops.
81
00:04:13,402 --> 00:04:14,634
According to that,
82
00:04:14,608 --> 00:04:16,841
if you eliminate suffering,
you eliminate life.
83
00:04:16,768 --> 00:04:19,168
Unh-unh...
don't pull that thread.
84
00:04:19,088 --> 00:04:20,721
You see...
85
00:04:20,675 --> 00:04:23,174
I've developed
a 3-step system.
86
00:04:23,089 --> 00:04:25,523
First, when you feel the urge,
87
00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,473
focus that energy inward...
88
00:04:29,156 --> 00:04:31,456
"tunneling," I call it.
89
00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:35,346
See, on a horse,
it's called "blinders."
90
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,724
Second, keep your hands busy.
91
00:04:37,637 --> 00:04:39,037
I like juggling.
92
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:41,570
Okay, the third
and most powerful tool
93
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,447
to suppress sexual desire...
94
00:04:43,386 --> 00:04:44,953
banjo music.
95
00:04:44,912 --> 00:04:47,812
Just to know
where we're coming from,
96
00:04:47,707 --> 00:04:49,939
how long has it been
since you, uh...
97
00:04:49,866 --> 00:04:52,066
Three weeks ago.
98
00:04:51,994 --> 00:04:54,128
Oh, please.
Mike was taking me to the airport.
99
00:04:54,059 --> 00:04:55,226
Yeah?
100
00:04:55,202 --> 00:04:57,236
It was raining on my blouse,
it got wet,
101
00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,239
and you could see
right through it.
102
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:03,239
Okay, okay...
yeah, yeah, yeah.
103
00:05:03,079 --> 00:05:05,980
Bringing Angie coffee, huh?
104
00:05:05,876 --> 00:05:09,175
Get out of here.
105
00:05:09,051 --> 00:05:10,985
You're not exactly her type.
106
00:05:10,926 --> 00:05:13,692
You mean she's a lesbian?
107
00:05:13,594 --> 00:05:16,461
'Cause I'm okay with that.
108
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:18,657
No, it's just that
Angie's cool, hip...
109
00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:19,947
a little wild.
110
00:05:19,915 --> 00:05:22,048
Look, she even rides
a motorcycle.
111
00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:25,245
You freaked out the last time
I opened the sunroof.
112
00:05:25,124 --> 00:05:27,291
Hey, guys, what's up?
113
00:05:27,220 --> 00:05:30,620
Oh, uh, just checking out
this picture.
114
00:05:30,493 --> 00:05:32,560
Sweet...Rig.
115
00:05:32,494 --> 00:05:34,394
You ride?!
116
00:05:34,336 --> 00:05:37,036
Like a demon shot from hell.
117
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:41,272
So what kind of bike
do you have?
118
00:05:41,164 --> 00:05:43,132
Schwinn-ster.
119
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:45,504
You're funny.
120
00:05:45,421 --> 00:05:48,755
Yeah, I was joking.
121
00:05:48,630 --> 00:05:50,996
Well, you know, you can do me
a really big favor.
122
00:05:50,917 --> 00:05:52,917
I have this bachelorette
party tonight...
123
00:05:52,854 --> 00:05:54,054
I'll do it,
124
00:05:54,030 --> 00:05:55,629
but I won't go
beyond a g-string.
125
00:05:56,984 --> 00:06:00,017
I was gonna ask if you could
take my bike home with you.
126
00:05:59,906 --> 00:06:01,107
I don't know.
127
00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:04,547
I'd really appreciate it.
Okay.
128
00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:06,416
By the way,
do you like frappacino?
129
00:06:06,354 --> 00:06:07,521
Nah.
130
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:09,896
I hate those
froufrou coffee drinks.
131
00:06:09,816 --> 00:06:13,816
I'll tell Carter
you don't want it.
132
00:06:13,659 --> 00:06:16,659
And so with the creation
of 200,000 jobs,
133
00:06:16,549 --> 00:06:17,983
I'm happy to report
134
00:06:17,948 --> 00:06:20,480
the jobless rate
in New York City
135
00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:21,893
is at a 20-year low.
136
00:06:21,855 --> 00:06:24,187
We have won the war
on unemployment!
137
00:06:24,110 --> 00:06:26,710
Misleading.
138
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,986
Not now.
139
00:06:30,494 --> 00:06:33,794
The people
should know the truth.
140
00:06:34,846 --> 00:06:36,746
What the hell
are you guys doing?
141
00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,855
Does Mr. Heywood have something
he would like to add?
142
00:06:39,737 --> 00:06:42,537
I would like to add
that the administration realizes
143
00:06:42,437 --> 00:06:44,871
that what people need
is education and training
144
00:06:44,788 --> 00:06:48,421
so that these minimum-wage jobs
become a stepping stone
145
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:50,148
and not the end of the line.
146
00:06:50,093 --> 00:06:53,759
To paraphrase...
147
00:06:53,618 --> 00:06:57,319
The war is over.
148
00:06:57,176 --> 00:07:00,509
Mr. mayor, have you ever worked
at a minimum-wage job?
149
00:07:00,383 --> 00:07:01,984
Of course.
150
00:07:01,940 --> 00:07:04,940
My first job out of law school,
151
00:07:04,832 --> 00:07:07,231
I made the minimum wage
for an associate...
152
00:07:09,024 --> 00:07:11,857
72 grand a year.
153
00:07:11,756 --> 00:07:14,290
And I don't have to tell
anyone here,
154
00:07:14,202 --> 00:07:17,135
but back in 1969,
it was not a lot of money.
155
00:07:17,029 --> 00:07:20,029
Actually, sir,
in today's dollars,
156
00:07:19,919 --> 00:07:22,719
that's about $350,000 per year.
157
00:07:22,619 --> 00:07:23,953
That's right.
158
00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:25,254
But back then,
159
00:07:25,223 --> 00:07:27,524
we didn't have today's dollars.
160
00:07:30,211 --> 00:07:32,478
You were way out of line,
Carter.
161
00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:35,602
The entire press corps
thinks the mayor is a snob.
162
00:07:35,484 --> 00:07:37,983
It's very distasteful
being ridiculed
163
00:07:37,898 --> 00:07:40,298
by people
so obviously beneath me.
164
00:07:40,216 --> 00:07:42,349
Oh, you just want me
to censor myself,
165
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:43,714
not speak up?
166
00:07:43,678 --> 00:07:46,079
Could you?
That would be really nice.
167
00:07:45,997 --> 00:07:48,164
I think we need to do
a little damage control.
168
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:50,327
I once worked for a senator
who ran over a dog.
169
00:07:50,253 --> 00:07:52,853
Next day... pictures of him
at the animal shelter...
170
00:07:52,762 --> 00:07:53,929
problem solved.
171
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:57,407
Charlie, I'm not about
to run over a dog.
172
00:07:57,274 --> 00:08:00,408
No, sir,
we're gonna do a photo op...
173
00:08:00,291 --> 00:08:03,092
you working in
a fast-food restaurant.
174
00:08:02,991 --> 00:08:05,958
I can see the headline now...
"mayor serves up new jobs."
175
00:08:05,850 --> 00:08:08,049
Why don't we bring peace
to northern Ireland?
176
00:08:07,978 --> 00:08:09,178
All we need is a photo
177
00:08:09,153 --> 00:08:11,253
of the mayor getting tanked
in a pub.
178
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:14,519
That sounds like
a lot more fun than...
179
00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:18,061
Killing an innocent dog.
180
00:08:19,572 --> 00:08:24,638
* when a man loves a woman
181
00:08:24,432 --> 00:08:28,765
* can't keep his mind
on nothin' else *
182
00:08:28,593 --> 00:08:33,359
* he'll trade the world
for the good thing he's found *
183
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:39,133
* if she is bad,
he can't see it *
184
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:42,851
* she can do no wrong
185
00:08:51,622 --> 00:08:53,954
* oh, suzanna
186
00:08:53,877 --> 00:08:56,277
* oh, don't you cry for me
187
00:08:58,229 --> 00:08:59,561
Hello.
188
00:08:59,531 --> 00:09:00,731
Paul...
189
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:01,940
It's Caitlin.
190
00:09:01,913 --> 00:09:04,080
I'm slipping.
"Mambo kings" is on tv.
191
00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,976
Armand assante...
192
00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:08,382
this is a challenge.
193
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:11,464
There's something about him
that drives me crazy!
194
00:09:11,347 --> 00:09:12,913
I already flipped to qvc
195
00:09:12,871 --> 00:09:15,305
and bought
an 8-person camping tent.
196
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,489
All right...
okay, listen, listen.
197
00:09:17,414 --> 00:09:20,047
Before you buy anything
you don't need,
198
00:09:19,955 --> 00:09:21,521
I'm gonna talk you down.
199
00:09:21,479 --> 00:09:24,046
You and I are spending
the night together,
200
00:09:23,958 --> 00:09:27,324
after which you will never
be interested in sex again.
201
00:09:27,197 --> 00:09:29,431
Now...
Sing along with me.
202
00:09:29,357 --> 00:09:31,957
* oh, suzanna
203
00:09:31,866 --> 00:09:34,367
* oh, don't you cry for me
204
00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:36,248
* for I've come from Alabama *
205
00:09:36,187 --> 00:09:37,686
bring it home, sweetheart.
206
00:09:37,647 --> 00:09:39,314
* with a banjo on my knee
207
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:44,133
today,
I'm revisiting my roots...
208
00:09:44,064 --> 00:09:46,864
back among the working people
of this city,
209
00:09:46,764 --> 00:09:49,430
where I feel so comfortable.
210
00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:55,700
We're not
off to a good start.
211
00:09:55,594 --> 00:09:57,428
Don't worry, sir.
212
00:09:57,374 --> 00:09:59,773
You can ice that on your break.
213
00:09:59,691 --> 00:10:02,025
You're gonna be fine,
I checked this place out.
214
00:10:01,947 --> 00:10:04,081
It's the slowest lunch shift
in the city.
215
00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:06,046
We sell 5 burgers,
we're out in 20 minutes.
216
00:10:05,981 --> 00:10:07,747
Okay.
217
00:10:07,697 --> 00:10:10,897
I didn't come here today
for this photo-op sham.
218
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,577
I'm here to help you reach
your potential
219
00:10:13,477 --> 00:10:16,311
so that one day
you can walk out that door
220
00:10:16,209 --> 00:10:18,009
and into a brighter future!
221
00:10:17,956 --> 00:10:19,622
But I like it here.
222
00:10:19,576 --> 00:10:22,509
They let me eat anything
that falls on the floor.
223
00:10:22,402 --> 00:10:23,803
You're missing the point.
224
00:10:23,769 --> 00:10:26,335
You have to use this job
as a stepping stone.
225
00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:28,479
In the words
of William Arthur ward...
226
00:10:28,406 --> 00:10:31,806
"if you can imagine it,
you can achieve it.
227
00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,512
If you can dream it,
you can become it."
228
00:10:34,410 --> 00:10:37,477
But if I drop it...
I can eat it.
229
00:10:40,985 --> 00:10:43,118
Hey, you're just in time
for the photo.
230
00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,616
Hey.
231
00:10:44,574 --> 00:10:45,541
You're okay, buddy?
232
00:10:45,527 --> 00:10:46,594
I just ran over
233
00:10:46,576 --> 00:10:48,509
from the phish concert
in central park.
234
00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:49,816
I wanted to beat the crowd.
235
00:10:49,784 --> 00:10:51,683
Crowd?
236
00:11:05,475 --> 00:11:08,508
Okay, you got a number-2
combo and a sprite,
237
00:11:08,397 --> 00:11:10,531
and I'm looking
at the register,
238
00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,796
and I don't see a picture
of anything called "doobage."
239
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:15,203
Charlie, I can't believe
240
00:11:15,163 --> 00:11:17,263
I let you talk me
into coming here!
241
00:11:17,196 --> 00:11:19,896
This is the biggest tragedy
since tiananmen square!
242
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:22,700
Way to keep things
in perspective, sir.
243
00:11:22,595 --> 00:11:26,263
Just try to stay calm.
Remember, the press is here.
244
00:11:26,121 --> 00:11:28,555
We're not just a couple
of trained monkeys
245
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:29,873
who smile on command!
246
00:11:29,838 --> 00:11:32,771
Mr. mayor! Charlie!
247
00:11:32,666 --> 00:11:35,132
Have you guys thought
about your futures?
248
00:11:35,047 --> 00:11:36,648
Because let me tell you
something...
249
00:11:36,603 --> 00:11:39,504
there are a lot of opportunities
in this new global economy.
250
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,865
Burger down!
251
00:11:40,828 --> 00:11:41,928
Stop. Stop.
252
00:11:41,908 --> 00:11:43,408
Stop! Stop! Stop!
253
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,970
Give me that!
254
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:49,046
Look, there is more to life
than diving for floor burger.
255
00:11:48,928 --> 00:11:50,495
You guys...
256
00:11:50,453 --> 00:11:52,019
You're like this raw Patty...
257
00:11:51,976 --> 00:11:53,444
you have a choice.
258
00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:55,741
Do you want to be
all flat and smushed, huh?
259
00:11:55,661 --> 00:11:58,295
Like all the other burgers?
Or do you want to be different?
260
00:11:58,203 --> 00:12:01,504
Look, I'm gonna tell you guys
something right now
261
00:12:01,379 --> 00:12:04,247
that is gonna change
your lives forever.
262
00:12:04,143 --> 00:12:05,976
A chicken sandwich...
white meat only...
263
00:12:05,921 --> 00:12:07,122
extra special sauce,
264
00:12:07,096 --> 00:12:09,530
and romaine lettuce,
but only if it's fresh.
265
00:12:09,447 --> 00:12:10,848
Gotcha.
266
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:12,447
One rowdy burger.
267
00:12:12,401 --> 00:12:15,635
Hey, hey...
where are you going?
268
00:12:15,514 --> 00:12:17,181
To shake off the malaise
269
00:12:17,134 --> 00:12:19,468
that has been inflicted upon us
270
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,156
by this mind-numbing job!
271
00:12:22,661 --> 00:12:25,828
Carter's a dead man.
272
00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:27,444
* oh, suzanna
273
00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:30,194
* oh, don't you cry for me
274
00:12:30,093 --> 00:12:32,727
Caitlin, please,
I'm begging you...
275
00:12:32,636 --> 00:12:34,369
go back to buying shoes.
276
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:36,585
"Mambo kings"
was on last night.
277
00:12:36,511 --> 00:12:38,511
Armand assante.
278
00:12:38,448 --> 00:12:40,914
Hey, Paul, this celibacy thing
may work for you,
279
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:42,197
but I am miserable!
280
00:12:42,165 --> 00:12:43,464
Oh, no... Caitlin...
281
00:12:43,434 --> 00:12:46,768
You've come too far
to turn back now.
282
00:12:46,643 --> 00:12:48,242
You're this close
283
00:12:48,199 --> 00:12:51,034
to a life of sexless solitude.
284
00:12:50,931 --> 00:12:53,865
You didn't even notice
the hot delivery guy.
285
00:12:53,759 --> 00:12:55,258
Where?
286
00:12:57,348 --> 00:13:00,048
I didn't even notice him.
287
00:12:59,952 --> 00:13:03,919
I feel nothing.
I'm asexual... bland!
288
00:13:03,764 --> 00:13:07,531
Welcome to my world.
289
00:13:07,385 --> 00:13:08,952
Nice work, Norma rae.
290
00:13:08,910 --> 00:13:11,010
We'll tell the press
we didn't expect this,
291
00:13:10,942 --> 00:13:12,910
and we're not trained
to handle it.
292
00:13:12,848 --> 00:13:14,115
Perfect, Carter...
293
00:13:14,087 --> 00:13:16,121
"the mayor's staff
can't serve people food,
294
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,256
"but please trust us
to keep the streets safe
295
00:13:18,185 --> 00:13:19,617
and educate your children."
296
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:21,449
I don't appreciate that tone.
297
00:13:21,393 --> 00:13:23,425
You sabotaged
my press conference,
298
00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:26,129
then you convinced the entire
kitchen staff to walk,
299
00:13:26,030 --> 00:13:28,496
including a young man
who I consider to be
300
00:13:28,413 --> 00:13:30,846
the best milkshake guy
on the east coast.
301
00:13:30,764 --> 00:13:33,530
I think I've earned the right
to change my tone.
302
00:13:33,432 --> 00:13:36,699
Excuse me if I'm a little more
passionate about people
303
00:13:36,576 --> 00:13:38,509
than photo ops.
304
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,517
You know what?
305
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:43,051
Icare about photo ops,
306
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:44,861
because if the mayor
doesn't look good,
307
00:13:44,803 --> 00:13:46,402
we all lose our credibility.
308
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:48,126
And we can't help people
find new jobs,
309
00:13:48,075 --> 00:13:50,541
create affordable housing,
and finally get New York
310
00:13:50,457 --> 00:13:52,457
a women's pro
beach-volleyball team.
311
00:13:52,395 --> 00:13:55,428
I'm passionate
about things, too.
312
00:13:55,316 --> 00:13:56,949
Ok, I hear what you're saying.
313
00:13:56,905 --> 00:13:59,038
But you don't need to worry
about the mayor.
314
00:13:58,969 --> 00:14:00,470
He can take care of himself.
315
00:14:02,115 --> 00:14:03,414
Oh, son of a...
316
00:14:07,164 --> 00:14:09,297
in the two hours
before we close,
317
00:14:09,229 --> 00:14:11,729
you and I are gonna make sure
every customer jams
318
00:14:11,644 --> 00:14:14,310
1/4 pound of saturated fat
into their arteries.
319
00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:17,150
There are over
a hundred people out there.
320
00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:18,410
Carter...
321
00:14:18,377 --> 00:14:20,643
Somebody once told me...
322
00:14:20,569 --> 00:14:24,103
"If you can imagine it,
you can achieve it."
323
00:14:23,968 --> 00:14:27,367
Okay, I'm in.
324
00:14:27,239 --> 00:14:32,739
* off the Florida keys
325
00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:37,912
* there's a place
called kokomo *
326
00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:39,923
* that's where you wanna go *
327
00:14:39,849 --> 00:14:45,016
* to get away from it all
328
00:14:44,805 --> 00:14:48,871
* bodies in the sand
329
00:14:48,712 --> 00:14:52,912
* tropical drink
melting in your hand *
330
00:14:52,746 --> 00:14:54,880
* we'll be falling in love
331
00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:57,810
* to the rhythm
of a steel-drum band *
332
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,434
* down in kokomo...
333
00:14:59,385 --> 00:15:00,784
How are you doing?
334
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:03,217
I am crankin'.
335
00:15:07,008 --> 00:15:08,674
Hey, Stuart!
336
00:15:08,628 --> 00:15:11,327
I'll see you later, okay?
337
00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,403
Awesome ride.
338
00:15:20,349 --> 00:15:22,215
By the way...
339
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,592
It starts to rattle
when you hit 100.
340
00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,110
So, what are you doing tonight?
341
00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:27,933
Tonight?
342
00:15:27,877 --> 00:15:31,677
Just some daredeviling,
then nothing.
343
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:34,463
How about a nice
candlelight dinner at my place?
344
00:15:34,357 --> 00:15:35,856
I could swing by.
Great!
345
00:15:35,817 --> 00:15:38,418
Oh, I have some boxes
I need to bring home,
346
00:15:38,327 --> 00:15:40,361
so I'm gonna have to take
a cab.
347
00:15:40,297 --> 00:15:42,630
You can ride my bike
out to queens for me, right?
348
00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:43,985
Queens?
349
00:15:45,824 --> 00:15:49,624
That's really far.
350
00:15:49,476 --> 00:15:51,242
For an extra 29 cents,
351
00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:53,791
I can jumbo-size those fries
and rowdy up your shake.
352
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:55,300
I am on fire.
353
00:15:55,257 --> 00:15:59,791
Size fries, shake quake
on that number 4.
354
00:15:59,608 --> 00:16:01,641
That's $8.16.
355
00:16:05,962 --> 00:16:09,196
Gotcha covered, boys.
356
00:16:09,075 --> 00:16:12,109
Oh, you're here. Great.
Grab an apron. We need help.
357
00:16:11,996 --> 00:16:13,163
No can do.
358
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,174
This is an official
media event.
359
00:16:15,110 --> 00:16:16,577
If I get involved,
360
00:16:16,539 --> 00:16:19,373
as press secretary,
it would compromise my image.
361
00:16:19,271 --> 00:16:22,204
I'd buy that if I didn't
just see you in the play area
362
00:16:22,098 --> 00:16:24,497
belly-flopping into the bin
of plastic balls.
363
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:27,717
I thought the kid was drowning.
364
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:31,787
Mmm.
365
00:16:31,754 --> 00:16:34,654
You know, it feels great
not to have to worry
366
00:16:34,549 --> 00:16:36,649
about how I look, what I eat.
367
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:39,982
I never realized being celibate
could have such advantages.
368
00:16:39,854 --> 00:16:41,720
Sex is so overrated...
369
00:16:41,664 --> 00:16:43,499
especially the way I do it.
370
00:16:45,064 --> 00:16:46,864
Welcome to rowdy burger.
I'm "mayor."
371
00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:48,610
I think he was in front of me.
372
00:16:48,557 --> 00:16:49,924
Oh, my God...
373
00:16:49,891 --> 00:16:51,458
You're Armand assante.
374
00:16:51,416 --> 00:16:53,516
Oh, I am a huge fan of yours!
375
00:16:53,449 --> 00:16:56,682
- I'm afraid you're mistaken.
- I'm not Armand assante.
376
00:16:56,561 --> 00:16:58,295
You have a pickle in your hair.
377
00:16:58,245 --> 00:17:00,744
Oh!
378
00:17:00,659 --> 00:17:02,193
Thanks.
379
00:17:02,152 --> 00:17:05,185
Oh, I loved you
in "the mambo kings."
380
00:17:05,075 --> 00:17:06,474
No, no, you didn't.
381
00:17:06,439 --> 00:17:07,973
I'd...
382
00:17:07,934 --> 00:17:10,300
I'd like a number 5...
To go.
383
00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:11,554
I'm bothering you.
384
00:17:11,522 --> 00:17:13,422
I'm sorry. I just...
385
00:17:15,270 --> 00:17:17,903
that woman needs to have sex.
386
00:17:22,227 --> 00:17:23,693
What are you doing?
387
00:17:23,656 --> 00:17:25,290
I just maxed out
my credit card,
388
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,544
and I am on my way
to Zimbabwe to see Mike.
389
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:29,034
This is weakness.
390
00:17:28,993 --> 00:17:31,459
I appreciate everything
you've done for me.
391
00:17:31,374 --> 00:17:32,875
When I get back,
392
00:17:32,836 --> 00:17:35,102
I am gonna find someone
for you to have sex with.
393
00:17:35,027 --> 00:17:36,828
But...
394
00:17:40,967 --> 00:17:44,301
that would be nice.
395
00:17:44,176 --> 00:17:49,475
* when a man loves a woman
396
00:17:49,258 --> 00:17:52,625
* can't keep his mind
on nothin' else... *
397
00:17:54,244 --> 00:17:55,678
Shut up!
398
00:17:56,881 --> 00:17:59,381
I'm doing the best I can,
okay?!
399
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:02,788
What a day.
400
00:18:02,758 --> 00:18:04,557
My feet are killing me.
401
00:18:04,505 --> 00:18:07,072
I don't remember the last time
I was this tired.
402
00:18:06,982 --> 00:18:08,649
I can.
403
00:18:08,602 --> 00:18:11,368
I once spent an entire summer
cracking slate in a quarry.
404
00:18:11,270 --> 00:18:13,103
I had a summer like that once.
405
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:16,482
What did you do?
Usher at "les mis."
406
00:18:16,353 --> 00:18:17,820
Wow.
407
00:18:17,782 --> 00:18:19,449
I feel like a real wuss
408
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:21,868
for mentioning
that quarry stuff.
409
00:18:21,784 --> 00:18:23,751
Listen, Charlie, I, uh...
410
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:26,857
Want to apologize for being
so difficult back there.
411
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,506
I was out of line.
412
00:18:28,454 --> 00:18:30,654
The mayor is gonna get
some great p.R. Out of this.
413
00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:32,083
It never would have happened
414
00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:34,177
if you hadn't pushed us
and been such a pain.
415
00:18:34,108 --> 00:18:36,075
I'm not just saying that
as your friend,
416
00:18:36,014 --> 00:18:37,948
I'm saying that
as your shift manager.
417
00:18:41,224 --> 00:18:45,190
Yeah, well,
I appreciate that, and...
418
00:18:45,036 --> 00:18:48,568
I'm sorry
about the grease fire.
419
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:50,534
It's okay.
420
00:18:50,467 --> 00:18:53,200
Folks seemed to like
the new charburger.
421
00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,450
It's strange...
422
00:18:56,407 --> 00:18:58,841
you've made the last two days
of my life miserable.
423
00:18:58,757 --> 00:19:00,424
You say all these weird things,
424
00:19:00,378 --> 00:19:02,710
and you take a really long time
saying them.
425
00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:06,613
But I like you.
426
00:19:06,571 --> 00:19:07,972
Thanks.
427
00:19:07,937 --> 00:19:09,436
You know, Charlie,
428
00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,398
I've often pondered
the significance of...
429
00:19:11,336 --> 00:19:13,536
so...
430
00:19:16,704 --> 00:19:18,471
"Les mis," huh?
431
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:23,352
I've always had a thing
for hot peasant chicks.
432
00:19:23,216 --> 00:19:25,316
Good night, Charlie.
433
00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:27,448
Good night.
434
00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:34,743
Hello.
435
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,414
Oh, hi, Allison.
436
00:19:36,366 --> 00:19:39,032
Oh, you got the flowers?
437
00:19:38,939 --> 00:19:42,805
Come on, Allison.
They're just flowers.
438
00:19:42,655 --> 00:19:44,522
A backrub?
439
00:19:44,467 --> 00:19:46,699
That sounds nice.
440
00:19:52,915 --> 00:19:55,415
Who's that in the background?
441
00:19:55,329 --> 00:19:57,563
Yeah, she can come.
442
00:20:04,414 --> 00:20:05,713
Hey.
443
00:20:05,684 --> 00:20:07,450
I saw you
on the news at 6:00...
444
00:20:07,399 --> 00:20:10,833
And 10:00...And 11:00.
445
00:20:10,703 --> 00:20:13,269
Oh. Can I still come in
for dinner?
446
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:14,447
It's 4:00 in the morning.
447
00:20:14,419 --> 00:20:15,887
Breakfast?
448
00:20:15,849 --> 00:20:19,615
Thanks for bringing my bike.
449
00:20:25,283 --> 00:20:28,083
Sco-o-o-re!
450
00:21:28,584 --> 00:21:31,050
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
451
00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:35,650
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