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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,609 --> 00:00:03,237 Peter: Oh, that truck's going through the ice. 2 00:00:03,238 --> 00:00:05,706 No way that truck doesn't go through the ice. 3 00:00:05,707 --> 00:00:08,142 Dana: "Whale wars"? 4 00:00:08,143 --> 00:00:10,110 They're history's greatest wars 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,813 because they're history's greatest beasts. 6 00:00:12,814 --> 00:00:14,114 Peter: It made it?! 7 00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,884 Man, they never fall through the ice. 8 00:00:16,885 --> 00:00:19,753 Now you're just watching fat, hairy men drive trucks. 9 00:00:19,754 --> 00:00:22,189 Dana: This is stupid. I'm turning it off. 10 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,291 Oops. Changed the channel instead. 11 00:00:24,292 --> 00:00:25,926 Peter: Just turn it off. 12 00:00:25,927 --> 00:00:29,263 Go exercise, or at least watch someone else exercise. 13 00:00:29,264 --> 00:00:30,731 Dana: "The Bachelor." 14 00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:31,799 Bingo. 15 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:34,234 Peter: Ooh. "The Bachelor." Jackpot. 16 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:37,771 Dana: Take it to the suite, Ashley H. 17 00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,039 Peter: Oh, Ashley H., 18 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:41,642 do not go to the fantasy suite with Jerome! 19 00:00:41,643 --> 00:00:43,777 What did we say about making good choices? 20 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:45,412 - What an animal. - What an animal. 21 00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:46,580 Woman: Thank you. 22 00:00:46,581 --> 00:00:49,717 Sync and corrections by awaqeded - www.addic7ed.com - 23 00:00:49,951 --> 00:00:52,453 Idiot. 24 00:00:52,454 --> 00:00:55,322 How is it possible that you and Dana have not had sex yet? 25 00:00:55,323 --> 00:00:57,725 There are lots of women I haven't had sex with. 26 00:00:57,726 --> 00:00:59,059 Peter: Well, maybe not lots. 27 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:00,694 Seriously, you once slept with a girl 28 00:01:00,695 --> 00:01:02,096 you knew less than 10 minutes. 29 00:01:02,097 --> 00:01:04,932 Perhaps you remember. She was my prom date! 30 00:01:04,933 --> 00:01:07,522 Okay, you understand that no way embarrasses me, right? 31 00:01:07,523 --> 00:01:09,410 And how many times do I have to apologize for that? 32 00:01:09,411 --> 00:01:10,938 I was a different person back then. 33 00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:12,139 Was I, though, really? 34 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,033 I'm just saying, you know, you don't usually 35 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:15,340 take this long to close the deal. 36 00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,244 Well, she's not a deal to close, all right? 37 00:01:17,245 --> 00:01:18,412 We're taking our time. 38 00:01:18,413 --> 00:01:19,580 Okay. Well, take less time. 39 00:01:19,581 --> 00:01:21,401 Remember when we forgot dad's birthday? 40 00:01:21,402 --> 00:01:24,451 We kept telling him, "your gift's on its way. 41 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,286 "It's being engraved. 42 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:27,287 "It's coming from a place 43 00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,749 that's closed for a month for Ramadan." 44 00:01:28,750 --> 00:01:29,429 Yeah. 45 00:01:29,430 --> 00:01:31,392 And then, finally, there was so much built up around it, 46 00:01:31,393 --> 00:01:33,727 we had to buy him a car so he wasn't disappointed. 47 00:01:33,728 --> 00:01:36,363 That's what's gonna happen with you and Dana. 48 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:38,603 - I'm gonna owe her a sex car? - Think about it. 49 00:01:38,604 --> 00:01:39,600 She's been fantasizing 50 00:01:39,601 --> 00:01:41,535 about having sex with you this entire time. 51 00:01:41,536 --> 00:01:42,669 Women do that? 52 00:01:42,670 --> 00:01:44,171 I have no idea. 53 00:01:44,172 --> 00:01:46,340 In my mind, that's pretty much all they do. 54 00:01:46,341 --> 00:01:48,809 That and have kissing parties with each other. 55 00:01:50,078 --> 00:01:51,712 If you and Peter don't have sex soon, 56 00:01:51,713 --> 00:01:52,713 it's gonna get weird. 57 00:01:52,714 --> 00:01:54,048 You don't want to be one of those couples 58 00:01:54,049 --> 00:01:56,450 that wait too long to have sex. 59 00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:58,118 Hasn't been that long. 60 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:01,288 I mean, a couple of dinners, some lunches, 61 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,705 a few weekend hangouts, a ride around Central Park. 62 00:02:03,706 --> 00:02:05,426 And, oh, my God, how have we not had sex yet? 63 00:02:05,427 --> 00:02:06,760 A Quaker would have had sex by now. 64 00:02:06,761 --> 00:02:09,432 It's been five months since your last relationship, 65 00:02:09,433 --> 00:02:11,086 and you guys were together for three years, 66 00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:12,964 which means it's been three years and five months 67 00:02:12,965 --> 00:02:14,396 since you've slept with someone new. 68 00:02:14,397 --> 00:02:15,269 Yikes. 69 00:02:15,270 --> 00:02:16,804 You're always really good at sex math. 70 00:02:16,805 --> 00:02:18,372 All I'm saying is if you're not careful, 71 00:02:18,373 --> 00:02:19,940 then you're gonna be in a relationship 72 00:02:19,941 --> 00:02:21,375 before you know if you're compatible, 73 00:02:21,376 --> 00:02:22,709 and then the sex is horrible, 74 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,043 and you don't want to blow off the relationship because of sex, 75 00:02:25,044 --> 00:02:27,414 but sex is, like, such an important part of any relationship. 76 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:28,549 Wait, why is our sex horrible? 77 00:02:28,550 --> 00:02:30,150 Maybe it's horrible or maybe it's great. 78 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,086 I'm just saying, you should find out pretty fast. 79 00:02:32,087 --> 00:02:34,254 We're going to Lao Tzu tonight for oysters. 80 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,789 Oh, it's on. 81 00:02:35,790 --> 00:02:37,257 Oh, it's way on. 82 00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:40,194 And the sex is going to be fantastic. 83 00:02:40,195 --> 00:02:43,530 Dana: And if it's not, I'm going to pretend it is. 84 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:46,200 - I'm telling you, that was Jason Biggs. - Don't be ridiculous! 85 00:02:46,201 --> 00:02:49,536 Why would Jason Biggs be staring at a pigeon with binoculars? 86 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,004 He's a birder. 87 00:02:51,005 --> 00:02:52,172 You're a birder. 88 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,508 - Yeah, that makes no sense. - [Chuckles] 89 00:02:54,509 --> 00:02:55,642 Susanne! 90 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:57,144 Amy! 91 00:02:57,145 --> 00:02:58,812 - Hi. How are you? - [Both smooch] 92 00:02:58,813 --> 00:03:00,948 How are you? How's Harry? 93 00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:04,351 Ah, this naughty, little boy kept me up all night last night. 94 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,686 So did this naughty, little boy. 95 00:03:05,687 --> 00:03:07,688 Not in front of the baby. 96 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:08,822 [Coos] Aww, he's so cute. 97 00:03:08,823 --> 00:03:10,324 - So cute. - Look at him. 98 00:03:10,325 --> 00:03:11,825 Aww, he's pointing at me. 99 00:03:11,826 --> 00:03:14,561 Oh, yeah, Harry's an early pointer. 100 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,029 Is that a thing? 101 00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:17,798 Yeah, it's supposed to be a sign of intelligence. 102 00:03:17,799 --> 00:03:19,266 So smart and cute. 103 00:03:19,267 --> 00:03:21,435 - So smart and cute. - Ohh! 104 00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:22,569 - Bye. - Bye. 105 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,737 Come on, my smarty. 106 00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:25,906 That kid is the worst. 107 00:03:25,907 --> 00:03:27,541 What? 108 00:03:27,542 --> 00:03:29,476 What's the matter with you? That baby is adorable. 109 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:31,311 Oh! And the way he points! 110 00:03:31,312 --> 00:03:35,883 Like some baby wizard sent here by a wise alien race. 111 00:03:35,884 --> 00:03:37,417 So glad we're not those people. 112 00:03:37,418 --> 00:03:39,586 Well, we're gonna be, specifically in seven years 113 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,355 because if we wait any longer than that, 114 00:03:41,356 --> 00:03:43,290 then we'll be super old when they're teenagers. 115 00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:45,025 Totally fine with that 'cause then they'll be like, 116 00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,360 "dad, I want a car," and I'll be like, 117 00:03:46,361 --> 00:03:47,882 "I can't even hear you... I'm super old." 118 00:03:47,883 --> 00:03:50,831 David, look into your future. It's filled with babies. 119 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:52,432 Wait, babies? 120 00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,268 As in plural? 121 00:03:54,269 --> 00:03:55,903 Honey? 122 00:03:55,904 --> 00:03:57,638 [Groans] 123 00:03:57,639 --> 00:03:59,706 Do you really not want kids? 124 00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:05,045 Can you keep a secret? 125 00:04:05,046 --> 00:04:06,513 Amy's my best friend. 126 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,315 Anything you tell me, I will tell her. 127 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:09,047 Really? 128 00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:10,984 You're gonna tell her something she doesn't want to hear 129 00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,920 and then end up in the middle of a fight? 130 00:04:12,921 --> 00:04:15,489 Yes, I can keep a secret. 131 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,791 I love babies. I want them now. 132 00:04:17,792 --> 00:04:18,792 Forget a bun in the oven. 133 00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,127 I want to open a bakery down there. 134 00:04:20,128 --> 00:04:21,762 - Ew. - You know what I mean. 135 00:04:21,763 --> 00:04:23,730 I... I don't. 136 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,732 I just... I don't want to wait as long as she does. 137 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,834 Why do you pretend that you hate them? 138 00:04:27,835 --> 00:04:29,603 Well, you know the only way to get Amy to do anything 139 00:04:29,604 --> 00:04:31,083 is to convince her that it was her idea. 140 00:04:31,084 --> 00:04:34,374 I know from experience it is impossible to convince Amy 141 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,144 to do anything that she doesn't want to do. 142 00:04:37,145 --> 00:04:39,179 Is it? 143 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:40,747 "It's complicated"? 144 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,250 No, I'm sorry. It's simple. I'm not gonna go see that. 145 00:04:43,251 --> 00:04:44,585 Meryl Streep is a legend. 146 00:04:44,586 --> 00:04:45,819 Okay, well, let's go rent "Silkwood" 147 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,300 so I can at least see her boobs. 148 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:50,857 Pick Alec Baldwin. Pick Alec Baldwin. 149 00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,928 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're building a kitchen. 150 00:04:54,929 --> 00:04:56,163 Shh. 151 00:04:56,164 --> 00:04:59,466 A stunning, stunning kitchen. 152 00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:01,768 Oh, that's good. 153 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,370 Can I steal that? 154 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,339 Ah, it's not even that effective, really. 155 00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:06,807 Now I want it more than anything. 156 00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:09,509 Exactly. Not as dumb as I seem. 157 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,511 [Chuckles] No, you couldn't be. 158 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,947 Joke all you want. I'm getting babies. 159 00:05:13,948 --> 00:05:15,916 It's kind of awesome you're into that so much. 160 00:05:15,917 --> 00:05:17,150 Oh, yeah. You kidding me? 161 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,752 Have you ever smelled a baby's head? 162 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:22,723 It's like fresh bread and dreams of the future. 163 00:05:22,724 --> 00:05:24,825 And what do dreams of the future smell like? 164 00:05:24,826 --> 00:05:26,126 Also fresh bread. 165 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:29,062 You don't want babies to eat them, do you? 166 00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:30,697 We're babysitting tonight. 167 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,665 What?! 168 00:05:31,666 --> 00:05:33,133 Yeah, I just talked to Suzanne. 169 00:05:33,134 --> 00:05:35,068 I offered her the night out while we watch Harry. 170 00:05:35,069 --> 00:05:36,737 Harry the finger-pointing genius? 171 00:05:36,738 --> 00:05:37,804 No. No. 172 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,940 Doesn't he have a father who can watch him? 173 00:05:39,941 --> 00:05:42,042 No, his mom's S.B.C... Single by choice. 174 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,277 Not by her choice. 175 00:05:43,278 --> 00:05:45,879 By the choice of all the men on this planet. 176 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:48,782 You are gonna watch this baby and hang out with this baby 177 00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,550 and fall in love with this baby. 178 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,886 We're gonna have a baby. 179 00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:54,521 You can make me spend time with it, 180 00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,623 but you can't make me like it. 181 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:02,029 [Indistinct conversations] 182 00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:03,530 This is a nice place. 183 00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,198 Yeah, it's pretty great, right? 184 00:06:05,199 --> 00:06:07,334 Peter: So great that it doesn't really matter 185 00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,468 how I perform later. 186 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,237 Why are you even thinking that? 187 00:06:10,238 --> 00:06:12,406 Hi. 188 00:06:12,407 --> 00:06:14,041 Cooper. Party of two. 189 00:06:14,042 --> 00:06:16,710 Great, just let me know when you're entire party has arrived. 190 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:18,979 Oh, well, let's see. 191 00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,947 One. Two. 192 00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:23,717 Our entire party has arrived. 193 00:06:23,718 --> 00:06:26,153 Wonderful. 194 00:06:26,154 --> 00:06:28,855 Unfortunately, your reservation has been pushed. 195 00:06:29,791 --> 00:06:30,924 A certain 8-year-old celebrity's 196 00:06:30,925 --> 00:06:32,759 having her birthday party here tonight. 197 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,094 We're very excited. 198 00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:37,397 We might be able to squeeze you in around 10:00... ish. 199 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,399 - Is it Suri Cruise? - I couldn't say. 200 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,901 It's got to be Suri Cruise. 201 00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:42,869 So, what do you want to do? 202 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,338 10:00 dinner, naked by 12:30. 203 00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,106 I'm never my best after midnight. 204 00:06:46,107 --> 00:06:47,407 Let's go somewhere else. 205 00:06:47,408 --> 00:06:49,076 Yeah, but this place is on your list. 206 00:06:49,077 --> 00:06:50,477 Ah, so is seeing a celebrity. 207 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,779 Could I just... 208 00:06:52,780 --> 00:06:55,382 Could I peek at Suri? 209 00:06:55,383 --> 00:06:59,753 Whoever the celebrity might be, she's not available for peeking. 210 00:06:59,754 --> 00:07:01,254 I... 211 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,223 Dana: Really want to have sex. 212 00:07:03,224 --> 00:07:04,725 Yeah, let's go someplace else. 213 00:07:04,726 --> 00:07:06,193 You can get good oysters anywhere. 214 00:07:06,194 --> 00:07:07,194 - Yeah? - Yeah. 215 00:07:07,195 --> 00:07:09,663 Yeah. Yeah. 216 00:07:10,732 --> 00:07:13,567 Come on. 217 00:07:13,568 --> 00:07:16,328 - I'm just... I know she's here somewhere. - I know. 218 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,359 - What's up with hostesses? - Oh, I know. 219 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,375 It's like you put someone behind a podium and what? 220 00:07:21,376 --> 00:07:23,243 They're all of a sudden drunk with power? 221 00:07:23,244 --> 00:07:24,911 Oysters. That's what we were looking for. 222 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,913 Hey! We did it. 223 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,950 - Okay. - [Chuckles] 224 00:07:33,518 --> 00:07:34,651 Who's a cute, little baby? 225 00:07:34,652 --> 00:07:36,120 You're a cute, little baby. 226 00:07:36,121 --> 00:07:38,331 Who's having fun? We are. 227 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:39,056 Ohh. 228 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:40,357 How's that bottle coming? 229 00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:42,059 Incoming. 230 00:07:42,060 --> 00:07:43,327 Thank you. 231 00:07:43,328 --> 00:07:46,805 Wait! I think you have to test it on yourself first. 232 00:07:46,806 --> 00:07:48,314 - Oh, right. - No, no, no. On your wrist. 233 00:07:48,315 --> 00:07:50,614 I think. I saw it in a movie once. 234 00:07:50,615 --> 00:07:51,716 Totally don't care. 235 00:07:51,717 --> 00:07:53,050 What am I looking for? 236 00:07:53,051 --> 00:07:54,118 Did it burn you? 237 00:07:54,119 --> 00:07:55,252 What if it had? 238 00:07:55,253 --> 00:07:57,221 You would have let me put scalding milk on my arm? 239 00:07:57,222 --> 00:07:58,322 Better than in the baby. 240 00:07:58,323 --> 00:08:00,458 [Harry cries] 241 00:08:00,459 --> 00:08:03,728 Oh, it's making that unholy noise again. 242 00:08:03,729 --> 00:08:05,396 Oh, it's fine, David. 243 00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:07,064 This is... this is part of their charm. 244 00:08:07,065 --> 00:08:09,066 It's... just what babies do, you know? 245 00:08:10,268 --> 00:08:13,971 We're having babies. [Chuckles] 246 00:08:13,972 --> 00:08:16,941 Suri Cruise, you have failed to ruin our night. 247 00:08:16,942 --> 00:08:19,110 Not for lack of trying. 248 00:08:19,111 --> 00:08:20,745 [Chuckles] 249 00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:23,180 So, you want to go back to my place? 250 00:08:23,181 --> 00:08:26,250 I think that's a capital idea. 251 00:08:26,251 --> 00:08:27,718 [Chuckles] Just say "yes," Dana. 252 00:08:27,719 --> 00:08:30,487 Don't make it weird. You need this. 253 00:08:36,695 --> 00:08:40,097 Peter: One sex car, coming up. [Whistles] 254 00:08:45,704 --> 00:08:47,972 [Stomach groans] 255 00:08:47,973 --> 00:08:52,209 Ohh, ooh. That's a bad feeling. 256 00:08:55,814 --> 00:08:58,916 Oh, okay, seriously, why do we even feed you? 257 00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:01,886 Why not just curdle some milk and pour it down my back? 258 00:09:01,887 --> 00:09:03,387 David, can you hold the baby? 259 00:09:03,388 --> 00:09:05,356 What? Again? 260 00:09:05,357 --> 00:09:07,011 Yes, again. Let's go. 261 00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:08,092 [Sighs] 262 00:09:08,093 --> 00:09:09,293 [Sighs] 263 00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:12,630 I'm just gonna go burn everything that I'm wearing. 264 00:09:12,631 --> 00:09:13,998 - Well... - [Sighs] 265 00:09:13,999 --> 00:09:17,868 Hurry up, 'cause I don't know what I'm supposed to do with... 266 00:09:17,869 --> 00:09:20,638 [Sniffs] 267 00:09:20,639 --> 00:09:22,273 So good. 268 00:09:22,274 --> 00:09:23,941 [Horn honks] 269 00:09:25,310 --> 00:09:27,745 Dana: I bet Suri Cruise doesn't have a date this hot. 270 00:09:27,746 --> 00:09:29,713 Ew. That's a bad thought. 271 00:09:29,714 --> 00:09:31,649 Peter: Oh, just power through. 272 00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:35,219 You can do this. Breathe deep. Focus. 273 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:38,322 He's breathing kind of heavy, and we just started. 274 00:09:38,323 --> 00:09:41,492 Am I that sexy, or is he having a heart attack? 275 00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,861 Okay, I'm guessing I got 20 minutes tops 276 00:09:43,862 --> 00:09:46,163 before things go all hot lunch on me. 277 00:09:46,164 --> 00:09:47,798 Got most of the foreplay taken care of in the cab. 278 00:09:47,799 --> 00:09:50,300 That's good. Thank you, potholes. 279 00:09:52,137 --> 00:09:53,771 [TV chatter] 280 00:09:53,772 --> 00:09:55,773 - Chloe: Hey, kids. - Oh! 281 00:09:55,774 --> 00:09:56,941 Izzy: What's up? 282 00:09:56,942 --> 00:09:58,676 [Exhales sharply] Hi. 283 00:09:58,677 --> 00:09:59,977 Hi. I'm... 284 00:09:59,978 --> 00:10:01,478 Chloe, Dana. Dana, Chloe. 285 00:10:01,479 --> 00:10:03,747 I'm Izzy, straight up. Not short for anything. 286 00:10:03,748 --> 00:10:06,550 - [Sighs] - And you are Peter's sister? 287 00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:07,551 Mm-hmm. 288 00:10:07,552 --> 00:10:08,767 Oh, well, uh, she's half-sibling. 289 00:10:08,768 --> 00:10:10,254 So, uh, different mothers. 290 00:10:10,255 --> 00:10:11,755 About what? Four years apart? 291 00:10:11,756 --> 00:10:13,390 - Yeah, four. - There you go. 292 00:10:13,391 --> 00:10:15,192 All caught up. Huzzah. 293 00:10:15,193 --> 00:10:16,660 All right, Chloe. See you later. 294 00:10:16,661 --> 00:10:17,962 Wait, wait. Wait, wait. I'm just... 295 00:10:17,963 --> 00:10:19,964 I'm just getting to know your friend, Peter. 296 00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:21,332 So, you two live in this... 297 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:23,801 No. No, she doesn't live here. I live here. 298 00:10:23,802 --> 00:10:25,736 I just have the unfortunate distinction 299 00:10:25,737 --> 00:10:27,271 of living right near work, 300 00:10:27,272 --> 00:10:30,841 so my entire family uses this place as a crash pad. 301 00:10:30,842 --> 00:10:32,209 Surprise. [Chuckles] 302 00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,845 Okay, I'm gonna go freshen up. 303 00:10:34,846 --> 00:10:35,880 It was nice to meet you. 304 00:10:35,881 --> 00:10:37,047 Yeah, you, too. 305 00:10:37,048 --> 00:10:39,683 Dana: What is "freshening up"? 306 00:10:39,684 --> 00:10:43,020 Guess I'll just go in there and hang out for a while. 307 00:10:43,021 --> 00:10:44,488 Come on. 308 00:10:44,489 --> 00:10:46,757 Ooh. 309 00:10:46,758 --> 00:10:48,325 - You don't look good. - [Breathing heavily] 310 00:10:48,326 --> 00:10:49,960 - What? - You're all sweaty. 311 00:10:49,961 --> 00:10:53,397 No, no, no. This is just my pre-sex sheen. 312 00:10:53,398 --> 00:10:54,565 You look green. 313 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,033 Yeah, doesn't he look green to you? 314 00:10:56,034 --> 00:10:57,835 Ha. Green like this bike that I'm customizing. 315 00:10:57,836 --> 00:10:59,303 - It's... - Nobody cares about you, Izzy! 316 00:10:59,304 --> 00:11:01,639 - Okay. Okay. - Sorry. It's just... 317 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,575 Green, sweaty man gonna get sexy tonight. 318 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,210 - Yeah. - Ohh. [Stomach groans] 319 00:11:06,211 --> 00:11:07,878 - Peter: Oh, dear God. - [Laughs] Okay. 320 00:11:07,879 --> 00:11:10,347 Nope. [Exhales sharply] 321 00:11:10,348 --> 00:11:11,982 - [Harry crying] - hush, little baby 322 00:11:11,983 --> 00:11:13,450 don't say a word 323 00:11:13,451 --> 00:11:16,787 Amy's gonna buy you whatever you fricking want 324 00:11:16,788 --> 00:11:19,757 so you stop wailing like a wounded animal 325 00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:21,425 Soft and comfy, soft and comfy, 326 00:11:21,426 --> 00:11:22,726 soft and comfy, soft and comfy. 327 00:11:22,727 --> 00:11:23,961 There. 328 00:11:23,962 --> 00:11:26,163 It worked. 329 00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:28,165 The stupid baby's happy. 330 00:11:28,166 --> 00:11:31,268 Uh, congratulations, David. You win. 331 00:11:31,269 --> 00:11:32,903 Yay! I never win. 332 00:11:32,904 --> 00:11:34,471 Wait, what did I win? 333 00:11:34,472 --> 00:11:37,341 Kids... they suck. We're not doing them. 334 00:11:37,342 --> 00:11:39,076 S-say what, now? 335 00:11:39,077 --> 00:11:41,078 No kids. Ever. 336 00:11:41,079 --> 00:11:44,681 I'm out, and you are gonna get snipped, just to be safe. 337 00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:50,988 - [Sighs] - [Harry coos] 338 00:11:50,989 --> 00:11:52,423 I'm not gonna lie to you, Harry. 339 00:11:52,424 --> 00:11:54,158 You kind of let me down tonight. 340 00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,662 I can't stay mad at you. 341 00:11:58,663 --> 00:12:01,031 Oh! You're so cute! 342 00:12:01,032 --> 00:12:03,000 I got your nose. 343 00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:05,936 [Groans] 344 00:12:05,937 --> 00:12:08,105 [Exhales sharply] [Stomach groans] 345 00:12:08,106 --> 00:12:10,107 Oh, God. 346 00:12:10,108 --> 00:12:11,442 Hi. 347 00:12:11,443 --> 00:12:13,210 Hey. 348 00:12:18,183 --> 00:12:20,050 Your sister seems nice. 349 00:12:20,051 --> 00:12:21,891 Oh, yeah. Let's... talk about that later. 350 00:12:27,726 --> 00:12:31,228 Dana: Well, here it goes. Brand-new, full sex. 351 00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:35,632 [Shoe thuds] 352 00:12:41,406 --> 00:12:43,107 [Exhales sharply] 353 00:12:43,108 --> 00:12:44,908 You... [Retches] 354 00:12:44,909 --> 00:12:47,611 [Vomit splashes] [Groans] 355 00:12:52,341 --> 00:12:54,575 I am gonna go freshen up. 356 00:12:54,576 --> 00:12:56,344 Yeah. Okay. 357 00:12:56,345 --> 00:12:59,947 At least now I know what freshening up is for. 358 00:13:06,822 --> 00:13:08,623 That's it. We're cursed. 359 00:13:08,624 --> 00:13:10,091 Things are always gonna get in the way. 360 00:13:10,092 --> 00:13:11,192 We're going to drift apart. 361 00:13:11,193 --> 00:13:12,660 And then one day, when we're 80, 362 00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:13,622 we'll see each other on a train, 363 00:13:13,623 --> 00:13:14,564 we'll sit down next to each other 364 00:13:14,565 --> 00:13:15,636 and talk about what could have been. 365 00:13:15,637 --> 00:13:17,447 He'll invite me to the bathroom for a quickie, 366 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:18,833 I'll accept, and the train 367 00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:21,602 will plunge off a bridge and into a ravine. 368 00:13:21,603 --> 00:13:23,705 Peter: Good lord, that wasn't a sex car, Peter. 369 00:13:23,706 --> 00:13:25,973 That was a sex Hindenburg. 370 00:13:25,974 --> 00:13:27,410 I got to admit, though... my stomach 371 00:13:27,411 --> 00:13:30,578 wasn't the organ I was afraid was gonna let me down. 372 00:13:33,248 --> 00:13:34,716 How you doing? 373 00:13:34,717 --> 00:13:36,818 [Groans, chuckles] 374 00:13:36,819 --> 00:13:38,786 Top notch. 375 00:13:38,787 --> 00:13:43,391 So, I'm gonna walk you down and, uh, put you in a cab. 376 00:13:43,392 --> 00:13:45,326 Which I think I can do that. 377 00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:49,731 And if I can't, just leave me there on the street to die. 378 00:13:49,732 --> 00:13:51,065 [Both chuckle] 379 00:13:51,066 --> 00:13:54,102 I think I can walk myself out. 380 00:13:54,103 --> 00:13:55,103 Okay. 381 00:13:55,104 --> 00:13:58,406 I can stay if you want me to. 382 00:13:58,407 --> 00:14:01,109 You... want to still... 383 00:14:01,110 --> 00:14:03,878 - I was just offering to stay a while... - Oh. 384 00:14:03,879 --> 00:14:05,913 ...to make sure that you were okay. 385 00:14:05,914 --> 00:14:07,415 Right. 386 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:10,551 But if you want to still... 387 00:14:10,552 --> 00:14:12,453 Dana: Please don't want to. 388 00:14:12,454 --> 00:14:14,555 Uh, yeah. 389 00:14:14,556 --> 00:14:16,524 I mean, I suppose I could. 390 00:14:16,525 --> 00:14:19,427 Peter: Barely. 391 00:14:19,428 --> 00:14:20,561 Great. 392 00:14:20,562 --> 00:14:23,164 Okay. 393 00:14:23,165 --> 00:14:24,632 So, I'm gonna go in the bathroom 394 00:14:24,633 --> 00:14:26,601 and brush my teeth with bleach... 395 00:14:26,602 --> 00:14:27,902 [Chuckles] 396 00:14:27,903 --> 00:14:30,505 ...and then come back out here, and we'll... 397 00:14:30,506 --> 00:14:33,408 [Inhales sharply] We'll do this thing. 398 00:14:33,409 --> 00:14:35,343 Yay. 399 00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:37,478 - Yay. - Whoo. 400 00:14:37,479 --> 00:14:38,546 [Stomach groans] 401 00:14:38,547 --> 00:14:41,282 Dana: Wait, what's that? 402 00:14:41,283 --> 00:14:43,551 That's not good. That's not good at... 403 00:14:43,552 --> 00:14:44,952 Sweet fancy. 404 00:14:44,953 --> 00:14:46,421 [Coughing, retching] 405 00:14:46,422 --> 00:14:49,882 We'll be one of those fabulous, childless couples 406 00:14:49,883 --> 00:14:51,851 with super-exciting lives. 407 00:14:51,852 --> 00:14:54,254 We'll keep an apartment in Paris. 408 00:14:54,255 --> 00:14:56,556 We'll make everybody with children hate their children. 409 00:14:56,557 --> 00:14:59,125 - It'll be amazing. - You finally get me. 410 00:14:59,126 --> 00:15:01,094 Yeah, no toddler birthday parties. 411 00:15:01,095 --> 00:15:04,030 None of that kiddie, plastic crap all over the place. 412 00:15:04,031 --> 00:15:06,766 Stop! 413 00:15:06,767 --> 00:15:09,402 I have to tell you something. 414 00:15:11,705 --> 00:15:14,340 [Sniffs deeply] 415 00:15:14,341 --> 00:15:15,975 I want children. 416 00:15:15,976 --> 00:15:17,910 Like, a lot of children. 417 00:15:17,911 --> 00:15:19,846 I want this place to look like a damn orphanage. 418 00:15:19,847 --> 00:15:21,014 And when your womb gives out, 419 00:15:21,015 --> 00:15:22,215 we're gonna fly around the world. 420 00:15:22,216 --> 00:15:23,616 We're gonna collect them like stamps... 421 00:15:23,617 --> 00:15:25,918 like precious, little, lovable stamps. 422 00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:27,453 I knew it! 423 00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:28,521 You did? 424 00:15:28,522 --> 00:15:30,189 I saw you sniff that baby's head earlier. 425 00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,658 Why did you pretend to not like it? 426 00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:33,559 'Cause I want them soon. 427 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,927 I want them in seven years. 428 00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:36,162 I want them sooner than that. 429 00:15:36,163 --> 00:15:40,066 And I thought it might help a little 430 00:15:40,067 --> 00:15:43,169 if you thought that having them earlier was your idea. 431 00:15:43,170 --> 00:15:44,671 Why would that help? 432 00:15:44,672 --> 00:15:47,240 'Cause you tend to like your ideas a lot better than mine. 433 00:15:47,241 --> 00:15:48,708 Because I have better ideas than you do. 434 00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:50,510 Which is why I wanted this to be your idea. 435 00:15:50,511 --> 00:15:51,978 How long have you been doing this? 436 00:15:51,979 --> 00:15:54,747 - This is, uh... - Mm-hmm. 437 00:15:54,748 --> 00:15:56,316 ...the first time. 438 00:15:56,317 --> 00:15:57,450 How long, David? 439 00:15:57,451 --> 00:15:59,152 How long have you been pretending 440 00:15:59,153 --> 00:16:01,020 to hate stuff that you actually love? 441 00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:02,455 - I don't... - The electric slide. 442 00:16:02,456 --> 00:16:05,058 [Scoffs] Leather pants. 443 00:16:05,059 --> 00:16:07,327 Does this explain "It's Complicated"?! 444 00:16:07,328 --> 00:16:09,228 How did she not choose Alec Baldwin?! 445 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:10,630 They had so much history! 446 00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:12,732 Is it hot in here? 447 00:16:12,733 --> 00:16:14,033 Yeah, it is. 448 00:16:14,034 --> 00:16:16,836 It's like we're on the surface of the sun right now. 449 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:21,574 Open a window. 450 00:16:23,310 --> 00:16:25,078 Yes. 451 00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:26,713 Window. 452 00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:28,681 So smart. 453 00:16:30,617 --> 00:16:33,252 [Groans] 454 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:35,555 Okay. 455 00:16:37,558 --> 00:16:39,392 [Groans] 456 00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:44,297 [Grunts] 457 00:16:44,298 --> 00:16:45,630 I can't. I can't. I tried. 458 00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:48,266 - Oh, that's okay. - I tried so brave and true. 459 00:16:48,267 --> 00:16:50,235 You saw. 460 00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,037 Mm. 461 00:16:52,038 --> 00:16:54,973 I couldn't find a clean washcloth. 462 00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:57,842 So these are your underpants. 463 00:16:59,345 --> 00:17:00,946 Are they clean or dirty? 464 00:17:00,947 --> 00:17:03,782 Does it really matter right now? 465 00:17:03,783 --> 00:17:06,885 Not at all. 466 00:17:08,354 --> 00:17:09,855 [Grunts] 467 00:17:09,856 --> 00:17:11,390 All right, hold it. 468 00:17:11,391 --> 00:17:13,525 Hold it? 469 00:17:13,526 --> 00:17:15,327 Let it go. 470 00:17:15,328 --> 00:17:17,529 [Exhales deeply] 471 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,931 Both: early in the morning 472 00:17:19,932 --> 00:17:21,900 I wake up with you 473 00:17:21,901 --> 00:17:24,336 early in the morning 474 00:17:24,337 --> 00:17:26,638 we throw up our food 475 00:17:26,639 --> 00:17:28,874 later in the evening 476 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,642 we throw up, too 477 00:17:30,643 --> 00:17:33,111 evening, in the evening 478 00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:35,447 we throw up our food [Laughs] 479 00:17:35,448 --> 00:17:39,651 All that I ask for is to keep down my food 480 00:17:39,652 --> 00:17:42,320 Glorious. 481 00:17:42,321 --> 00:17:43,955 I have a question. 482 00:17:43,956 --> 00:17:46,591 Hmm? 483 00:17:46,592 --> 00:17:48,727 Why did you stay 484 00:17:48,728 --> 00:17:51,163 after I threw up on you. 485 00:17:51,164 --> 00:17:54,933 Most girls would have just taken off. 486 00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:57,202 I considered it. 487 00:17:57,203 --> 00:18:00,806 And I almost did. 488 00:18:00,807 --> 00:18:02,274 But then... 489 00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:04,876 Then what? 490 00:18:04,877 --> 00:18:07,312 [Inhales sharply] 491 00:18:07,313 --> 00:18:09,281 I don't want to be one of those couples 492 00:18:09,282 --> 00:18:11,716 that misses all their chances 493 00:18:11,717 --> 00:18:15,954 and that fate keeps screwing with. 494 00:18:15,955 --> 00:18:20,525 It's like that last scene in "remains of the day," 495 00:18:20,526 --> 00:18:23,628 where this old man is looking over these waves, 496 00:18:23,629 --> 00:18:26,097 wondering what could have been. 497 00:18:26,098 --> 00:18:28,700 God, yeah, that was beautiful. 498 00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:30,368 Peter: Never saw it. Never will. 499 00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:33,405 [Sighs] I don't think we're gonna miss our chance. 500 00:18:33,406 --> 00:18:35,173 You don't? 501 00:18:35,174 --> 00:18:36,975 I don't. 502 00:18:36,976 --> 00:18:39,945 And last night was the most intimate 503 00:18:39,946 --> 00:18:42,948 non-sexual encounter I've ever had. 504 00:18:42,949 --> 00:18:45,884 - [Laughs] Really? - Yeah. 505 00:18:45,885 --> 00:18:47,352 I know way more about you now 506 00:18:47,353 --> 00:18:50,355 than if we had just had sex last night. 507 00:18:50,356 --> 00:18:53,525 Me, too. 508 00:18:56,095 --> 00:18:57,796 In fact... 509 00:18:57,797 --> 00:19:01,132 You think... we should... 510 00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:02,634 I do. 511 00:19:02,635 --> 00:19:05,403 Can we handle that? 512 00:19:05,404 --> 00:19:08,907 I mean, it might not be my best work. 513 00:19:08,908 --> 00:19:11,009 I'm gonna do that thing where I just lay there and look pretty. 514 00:19:11,010 --> 00:19:12,177 - I'm fine with that. - Yeah. 515 00:19:12,178 --> 00:19:14,479 - [Laughs] - Yeah? Okay. 516 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,481 - We should brush. - We should brush our teeth. 517 00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:19,540 - I'm gonna... Yeah, I'll go first. - You want to go first? Okay. 518 00:19:23,789 --> 00:19:25,123 How you doing? 519 00:19:29,996 --> 00:19:32,523 There's a naked man in your bathroom, 520 00:19:32,524 --> 00:19:34,599 and I hope it's your father, which means I've seen him naked 521 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,501 before I've seen you naked, so I'm just going home. 522 00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:37,836 Not saying I'm giving up forever, 523 00:19:37,837 --> 00:19:39,004 but I'm giving up for today. 524 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,840 Thank you for dinner and goodbye. 525 00:19:41,841 --> 00:19:44,676 Dad! 526 00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:49,398 I got to admit, you making me think it was my idea 527 00:19:49,399 --> 00:19:51,845 is a side of you I haven't seen. 528 00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:52,846 Bold move. 529 00:19:52,847 --> 00:19:54,375 [Chuckles] Thank you. 530 00:19:54,376 --> 00:19:56,811 - Never do it again. - Not a chance. 531 00:19:57,708 --> 00:20:01,849 This baby's horrible, but ours will be great, won't they? 532 00:20:03,016 --> 00:20:05,417 Yeah. They will. 533 00:20:06,155 --> 00:20:07,755 And we're starting soon. 534 00:20:07,756 --> 00:20:08,923 - Five years. - Two. 535 00:20:08,924 --> 00:20:10,091 - Four. - Three. 536 00:20:10,092 --> 00:20:12,193 That was my plan all along. 537 00:20:12,194 --> 00:20:13,528 [Knock on door] 538 00:20:13,529 --> 00:20:16,864 Oh. That's Suzanne. 539 00:20:17,986 --> 00:20:19,400 Go ahead. 540 00:20:23,005 --> 00:20:26,007 [Sniffs deeply] 541 00:20:26,008 --> 00:20:27,441 - That's foul. - Yeah. 542 00:20:27,442 --> 00:20:28,967 - That's not our problem anymore. - I don't know what is... 543 00:20:28,968 --> 00:20:30,111 - What did you feed him? - So it's... I don't... 544 00:20:30,112 --> 00:20:32,513 Seriously, get her in here now. Please hurry. 545 00:20:32,563 --> 00:20:37,318 Sync and corrections by awaqeded - www.addic7ed.com - 546 00:20:37,368 --> 00:20:41,918 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38663

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