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1
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If anyone has any information
on who put the shag, marry or kill chart in the canteen,
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:08,520
it would be gratefully received.
The dinner ladies are technically members of staff.
3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,960
They don't deserve
to be ranked in that way.
4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:14,120
OK. Well, that's all.
Let's have a good last day.
5
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,800
And I hope to see you all
bright and refreshed at the beginning of next term.
6
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,920
Erm...
7
00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,440
Oh, we forgot to say goodbye
to Mr Davies.
8
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,720
Ten full years at the school.
9
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,960
Having only been here a short time,
10
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:33,000
I can't imagine
what it must've been like working with him for that many years.
11
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,600
I really can't. Would any of you
like to share a memory?
12
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,800
How about a time you felt...
13
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:49,960
..inspired by Mr Davies?
14
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,680
Anyone?
15
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,560
BOY COUGHS
16
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,440
Yes, Robin. Who... Who is he?
17
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,320
It's me, Robin!
18
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:07,200
And I think we're done.
Good luck, Mr Davies.
19
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,560
You're certainly gonna need it.
20
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,960
I'd like to say a few words,
could I, head teacher?
21
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,000
If you must. I must.
22
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:25,280
I just wanted to say
have a great summer holiday and I've had a lot of fun teaching here.
23
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,440
I have, really.
24
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,760
And, er...
25
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:37,800
Yeah. So, great news, I was chatting
to the head, and he says
26
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,560
you can all go home early today.
You can go now. See you later.
27
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,960
CHEERING
Excuse me!
28
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,680
That is not the case. Will you
all please return to your seats?
29
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:50,520
Can you all please sit...
Can you all please sit down?
30
00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:53,640
I'm having a leaving party tonight
at Special Needs.
31
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:57,680
It's fancy dress, surf wear.
You can come if you like. No? Didn't think so!
32
00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:32,160
Sir! Sir!
Hey, boys, you better go back in. The head's gonna pop his big vein.
33
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,520
I just wanted to give you this.
No way!
34
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:42,360
"Dear, sir.
Having Miss Clarke has made us realise that you are a shit teacher.
35
00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,720
But you was a fairly good laugh
and you didn't make us do no work."
36
00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:52,640
Thank you.
I honestly don't know who you are.
37
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,680
I know, Robin. That's not for me.
It is.
38
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,040
I mean...
39
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,800
that is actually very good.
It took me ages.
40
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,120
Come on, you lot. Back inside.
41
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:12,160
The head thinks we're in LA.
He's rung round to say we're on lockdown.
42
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,400
What time at Special Needs, then?
No way! You're not coming?
43
00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,040
Well, congratulations, you may
be the only school representative.
44
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,560
I've got a Hawaiian dress.
My son says he'll leave home if I ever wear it,
45
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,680
so this might be my chance
to get rid of the fucking parasite.
46
00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:28,880
God, they are scum, aren't they?
47
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:32,920
Will you miss this place? Yeah.
48
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,320
No.
49
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,600
Yes. Perhaps.
50
00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:42,320
Are you alright? Yeah,
I'm trying to be poetic and aloof.
51
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:46,160
Oh, I thought you'd had a stroke.
Well, I'm glad you're having a great time,
52
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:49,280
cos in one year of teaching here,
you're gonna look like this.
53
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:52,240
You don't look so bad.
Go on. No, honestly.
54
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,920
I mean, you're fat, obviously.
Obviously.
55
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,960
And your teeth are a bit... fucked.
Fucked!
56
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,640
Did you need some spare knickers?
57
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,520
What? You've got some
hanging out your trousers.
58
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,480
Shit!
59
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,680
See you later. Yeah, bye.
60
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,000
Oh! Fuck! Be careful, my fat friend,
61
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,280
the streets in America
are full of lunatics with guns.
62
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,400
You pause at traffic light,
they say, "Come on, move up!"
63
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:27,280
Bang! "Agh!"
64
00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:30,320
So I give you this...
to protect yourself.
65
00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,240
Oh. Yeah.
Well, thank you, Mr Berkoff.
66
00:04:33,280 --> 00:04:37,280
Hey, use it!
67
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,120
You're meant to be
in beachwear, Brian. This is how I dress to the beach.
68
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,640
Anyway, fancy dress
is pointless escapism.
69
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,160
As I said to Julia's brother,
you may be dressed as Yogi Bear,
70
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,680
but you're still the subject
of an HMRC investigation.
71
00:04:50,720 --> 00:04:54,720
You must've got dressed up as a kid.
Yes, Michael Thompson's birthday party, 1981.
72
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,680
I was five.
I went as Neville Chamberlain.
73
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,720
Thompson led the mockery, but he
works at a Mecca Bingo now and has stopped laughing almost completely.
74
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:06,480
Brian, I'm worried about... What are
we gonna do when it's just us?
75
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:10,680
Do you think you could be
a little less... you?
76
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,800
Et tu, Jo?
77
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:16,320
Yeah, I'm starving.
I think I might have a third egg.
78
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,880
Oi, you! Costume! You look like
a serial killer from an ITV drama.
79
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,480
Sorted? Music?
80
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,360
Mickey's got decks.
He's doing a lot of poppers at the moment so expect Backstreet Boys.
81
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:30,400
OK. Lighting?
Remember, it's gotta look... Good on camera. I know. All sorted.
82
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,320
You still think a Skype call
from your party is the best way to tell Emma you're coming?
83
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:38,360
Yeah. I've told her. Two o'clock her
time. Get ready for a phone call and the surprise of her life!
84
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,280
Romantic. Frightening is the word.
85
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,000
Never mind that. Did you get
the invites out? Of course.
86
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,880
Barely made the post thanks to
the venue change. What venue change?
87
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,760
Oh, didn't I mention? We can't
have it in the shop, the man said.
88
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,800
What man?
Landlord. No parties in the shop, apparently. Quite right, too.
89
00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,000
Jo, it's always been at the shop!
90
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,920
Dan! Look at me!
91
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,200
HE SIGHS
Look at me! Jo!
92
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,240
Do you trust me? Look at me!
Do... you... trust... me?
93
00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:13,120
No. Not at all.
94
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,160
Go home and wait.
It's gonna be off the fucking chain!
95
00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:20,760
Where is it?
Last time I saw her this confident,
96
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:24,240
I ended up driving into the spot
where she had definitely seen a leprechaun.
97
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:28,280
Needless to say, it was an old lady.
I am having a fucking party! Oi!
98
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,640
Shh! Be quiet! You be quiet for once!
99
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,000
Bob!
100
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,680
Go on, then. What do I care?
I'm leaving. Go and get him.
101
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:40,160
Tell you what, I'll get him myself!
102
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,720
Bob! Bob!
103
00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,760
Bob!
104
00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:49,760
Bob!
105
00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:52,160
DOOR CLOSES
106
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,480
You out here, Bob?
107
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:57,160
God, you look like your old man.
Ah, hi, Bob.
108
00:06:57,200 --> 00:06:59,560
Ahhh.
109
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:03,520
Following your love to America
is just the kind of crazy thing he would've done.
110
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,960
Yeah, it's pretty stressful.
111
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,000
Hey, 30 years ago, I left home
to be with the woman I loved.
112
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,880
The heart wants
what it wants to have.
113
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,440
And you don't regret it.
114
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:18,840
Bob!
115
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,680
It's the worst thing I ever done.
Bob!
116
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,520
She sleeps with a house brick. Bob!
117
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:27,720
Yeah, coming, baby.
118
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,480
All I see when I close my eyes
at night is fried eggs!
119
00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,640
I'm in hell!
120
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:36,680
Bob!
121
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:40,400
Dan! Dan! Bob!
You've gotta help a brother out!
122
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,920
Don't leave me alone with her!
You don't know what it's like!
123
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,080
Dan!
124
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:50,120
Bob!
HE GASPS
125
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,840
Have you seen my braces, Polly?
They're in the drawer.
126
00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,880
I've looked in the drawer,
obviously, for pity's sake. I'm the guilty party, I'm afraid.
127
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:07,040
Fan belt went on the Land Rover
and I'm getting her ready for sale so I had to improvise.
128
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,760
I see.
129
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,600
Oh! For me? Is it a toaster?
130
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:16,640
No, it's a surfboard!
No way! It's so...
131
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:22,040
..portable. They love surfing, the
Americans. We looked it up on Yahoo.
132
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,200
Can't see you surfing myself.
Coastguard'll think you're the corpse of an elephant seal.
133
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:31,240
Charming. You must come and do
a speech at my leaving party. Which presumes I'm attending.
134
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,320
Oh, la, la, la, la, la.
Tell him, Polly.
135
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,480
It's just a silly mistake.
136
00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:40,520
Daddy booked a weekend in Bruges
and I thought it was next weekend.
137
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,640
Too late for a refund, sadly.
138
00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:45,800
You're not... coming?
139
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,840
Oh, Daniel, don't be upset.
I won't go. I'll stay.
140
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,080
Polly! I'll come to the party,
Daniel, don't you worry.
141
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:56,200
I'll drink for the three of us.
It's fine.
142
00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:00,240
Have you seen my flip-flops?
They're in your bedroom. And I've packed everything all ready.
143
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:04,880
Come and see.
144
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:12,600
Oh, you got him a present, too.
You should've given it to him. It's not for Daniel.
145
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,640
"Sorry you're leaving?"
It's for you, Nesta.
146
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,960
For me? Oh, dear. I just presumed
you must be missing the farm.
147
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:27,040
Three's a crowd, after all.
148
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:30,240
Yes. Yes.
149
00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:34,280
Yes, I suppose you're right.
150
00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,600
You will be careful in these
flip-flops, won't you, love?
151
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:45,080
When you were young, your knees were
all... Covered in plasters, I know.
152
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,600
SHE SNIFFS
Come on, don't cry.
153
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:51,600
One of the crevices will fill up
and you'll drown in your own face.
154
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,720
SHE SOBS
155
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,840
You will ring when you land?
Yes, of course I will, silly.
156
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,360
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
157
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:02,160
What? Where?
158
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,480
Right.
159
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,520
It's Jo. She says come outside,
she's on Moorcroft Drive.
160
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,680
Jo, what is going on?
Party time! Where?
161
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,720
Right here! Three, two, one...
162
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:24,200
Party bus!
163
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,600
ALL CHEER
164
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:31,640
Backstreet's back, alright
165
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,280
Can I have a word with you?
166
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:39,320
This is not a party bus!
It is. It smells of meat!
167
00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:41,600
Dan, a party's what you make of it.
168
00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:45,200
Allez! Allez! The party, the party!
I know, Francois, we'll be there in a minute.
169
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,200
I am not Skyping Emma
from the back of a fucking lorry!
170
00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,960
HE SPEAKS FRENCH ANGRILY
171
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,800
Yes, alright, Francois!
Les vache sans dans la bibliotheque!
172
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,200
God, he's touchy today.
HE SPEAKS FRENCH
173
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,840
HE SPEAKS FRENCH ANGRILY
174
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,160
ENGINE STARTS
175
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:07,200
Francois! Francois! Where are you
taking the party? Francois!
176
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,040
Where's your party gone?
177
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:15,080
I'm sure it'll be fine, young man,
the party probably just needs an MOT.
178
00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:19,560
Mickey's not answering his phone.
Must be some sort of misunderstanding. No shit!
179
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,800
Better be making tracks, Polly.
180
00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:26,840
Where's Nesta?
I'm not the woman's keeper!
181
00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,240
Bye, Daniel.
182
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,680
SHE SIGHS
183
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:42,720
La vache est dans la bibliotheque?
The cow is in the library?
184
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:47,280
Yes, it's just a bit of a surprise,
that's all.
185
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:51,320
Well, what do the girls
think about it?
186
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,160
They're quite happy?
187
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:59,200
Right. No, I just, that's fine.
188
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,220
Yep, no, that's fine.
189
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:23,240
HE YELLS
190
00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:35,500
BANG ON DOOR
Brian! Brian!
191
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,800
So, 90 percent of my guests
are in the back of a lorry on the way to France,
192
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:45,000
Nesta has gone AWOL, and my own mum
can't attend cos she's gone on a mini break with a cunt.
193
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,520
So far, so good.
A leaving do is an overrated thing.
194
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,840
It's just an ego boost.
The important thing...
195
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:54,320
Oh, we're having a party.
196
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,360
Not here. Yes, we fucking are,
Brian. Jo, get some tunes on and call the remaining guests.
197
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:03,160
Brian, what booze have you got?
I don't have anything and you're not having it here.
198
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:07,200
I have to disobey you, Brian.
I'm probably being silly but I can't help but feel
199
00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,160
some of this is my fault.
200
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:14,200
No, no, no, the international
miniatures are display only! Not any more.
201
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,440
I spent more than 20 years
on that collection.
202
00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:20,480
Well, you can keep the bottles.
Portuguese Scotch, anyone?
203
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:25,440
Oh, God, it tastes like blood, but
it feels like it's doing the trick.
204
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,400
Miss Clarke's trying to get a
babysitter so she might come. Good!
205
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,360
Here, have a Slovakian port
as a well done.
206
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,680
Keep trying. Good, Brian!
207
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:39,320
Now, it's a party, we're gonna need
decorations and lighting. What have you got?
208
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:41,760
Nothing. This is my home,
not a scout disco.
209
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,680
Brian, I am having a leaving party!
210
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:48,720
It's gonna be fun and we're gonna
get drunk and then, in two hours,
211
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,120
I'm gonna Skype the love of my life
and tell her I'm coming to America.
212
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,480
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
213
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,920
Oh, Christ, it's her.
She's ringing early.
214
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,440
Look at the fucking state of this!
She can't see this!
215
00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:02,640
OK, OK, calm down. I've got some
Christmas tree lights in the loft.
216
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:06,680
Good. You can give me a leg up.
Jo, keep trying the lorry, and try and track Nesta down.
217
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:10,920
That's right,
I want my 80-year-old aunty here to bolster numbers. Cor, what a party!
218
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:21,120
PHONE RINGS
219
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,240
Don't look at me like that, Hound.
220
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:33,280
DOG BARKS
No, Daniel doesn't want a silly old lady at his party.
221
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,000
DOG WHINES
222
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,320
Just you and me now.
223
00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,360
Let me go up, for God's sake,
I know where they are. Everything is in a very specific order.
224
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:46,800
Seriously, Brian.
225
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,840
It's a collector's item.
I've got every issue since 1993.
226
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,280
That MP you've got the hots for.
227
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,240
Anne Fenton. You can see
into her bathroom from up here.
228
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,240
Oh, my God!
I'll board it up immediately.
229
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,360
She's in there now. Then get
the lights and bring them down.
230
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,640
If your gaze lingers for two seconds
longer, you're a peeping Peter.
231
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,920
You won't get into America
because you'll be on a list.
232
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,120
Oh, come on, it's my leaving party.
233
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,440
Two lads, high jinks and all that.
234
00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,360
Besides, I know you wanna
have a little peek.
235
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:18,240
You haven't stopped
talking about her. Absolutely not.
236
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:22,280
This is bloody illegal.
Stop looking, then, you pervert!
237
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,960
I mean, she's in her dressing gown,
so it's alright, I suppose.
238
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,000
It's fine! It's just high jinks.
239
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,240
Oh, hang on a minute.
What is she up to?
240
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,880
Magnificent creature.
241
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:43,000
Oh, no. She's not.
242
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:46,600
SHE FARTS
She is, I'm afraid.
243
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,960
I mean, fine, get her to the party,
but you better get some pizza.
244
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,440
She's gonna be hungry.
SHE FARTS I don't believe you! I'm going down.
245
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,400
Hey, she'll hear the creak.
Besides, this is the only fun I've had all day.
246
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,680
Watching a member of parliament
having a... SHE FARTS
247
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,800
Dear God, man! What's become of us?
248
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,840
Brian, this is my party!
CLATTERING
249
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,920
Hello, there.
Just getting some lights down for a party, if you fancy it?
250
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:22,080
Kenyan tequila?
251
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,400
I think there's a chance
she may call the police.
252
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,640
Dear God, I was gonna ask her
to a cheese and wine.
253
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:29,880
Not my problem.
I'll be on a plane tomorrow. Oh!
254
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,200
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
Emma, again!
255
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,360
We are gonna have to
get set up quickly.
256
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:37,440
Phone's dead. Gimme. I'm worried.
Mickey's not allowed on ferries.
257
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,680
Where are we going, anyway?
Where do you think? Your shop!
258
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:44,400
And I don't care if they're not
allowed parties! We're going there! Oh, no, Dan, we can't.
259
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,440
For God's sake, Dan, just accept
there isn't gonna be a party. There fucking is!
260
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:56,360
Oh, Jo.
261
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,040
When did this happen? Yesterday.
262
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:11,080
It wasn't the monkey attack, was it?
Because I'll tell them I got those wounds at Whipsnade.
263
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,960
No, you know what it was, Brian.
It wasn't making any money.
264
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,240
You tried to warn me.
I'm sorry, Dan.
265
00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,400
You should've just told us,
you idiot.
266
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:21,560
We could still go to the pub.
267
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:25,160
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
This will be Francois.
268
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,880
Hello?
269
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:30,240
No, I'm with... Dan, it's your mum.
270
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,280
Has she landed? She's in hospital.
271
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:39,560
MACHINE BEEPS
You scared the life out of me!
272
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,480
I'm OK. Tell him, doctor.
273
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,480
She had a little angina attack.
Oh, Polly! Not your...
274
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:49,720
Angina! It's heart related.
275
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,520
SHE SIGHS
Was it him? Did he stress you out, that arsehole?
276
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,400
And where is he? It wasn't Daddy.
277
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,440
Really, it wasn't.
278
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,120
It wasn't caused by stress.
It's been a long time coming.
279
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:05,160
She will get better?
Your mother will be fine, but she's gonna need a lot of looking after.
280
00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:07,200
Recovery from this takes a while.
281
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:11,240
You see? Daddy's gone home
to get me some things already.
282
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,040
I'll be fine. He'll look after me.
283
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:18,080
You should get back to Jo's shop
and carry on the party.
284
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,960
There is no party, Mum.
And it doesn't matter.
285
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Just concentrate on getting better.
286
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,120
What a bloody mess, eh?
287
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,160
Your mum will be alright. Jo and I
will pop in. You've got your own family to worry about, mate.
288
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:40,160
Yeah, sort of.
289
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:44,200
What? Oh, it doesn't matter.
290
00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,760
Come on, let's have it all.
It's nothing. HE SIGHS
291
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,680
Julia's promotion came through,
that's all.
292
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,120
It's in Scotland.
293
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,440
Bit harder to see the girls.
294
00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,200
Bloody hell!
HE TUTS
295
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:03,240
Come on.
296
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:10,040
This must be the worst party
of all time, right?
297
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:14,680
Your mum will be fine.
She's got Daddy.
298
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,320
Yeah.
299
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,560
Why do you think he went home
to get her stuff that quickly?
300
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:24,600
I mean, she's barely
been in here an hour. I did think it was a bit odd, but...
301
00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,440
What are you doing here,
you giraffe full of shit! You should be with your mother!
302
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:47,480
What are you doing?
303
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:54,600
You're leaving her...
when she's in hospital?
304
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,760
You bloody stay here and nurse
an invalid for months on end if you like, it's not my cup of tea.
305
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:03,280
Ah, that's right! Go on, hit me!
306
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,200
There's nothing I'd like more
than to see thee in court.
307
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,040
Go on!
308
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,080
Give Daddy a slap.
309
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,560
HE SIGHS
You're not my daddy.
310
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,640
You silly little man.
Where are you gonna go?
311
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:28,680
She's as good as it gets.
312
00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:45,280
You're right, three is a crowd,
you little shit.
313
00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:50,360
Nesta, you're a family of bottlers.
You wouldn't dare.
314
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:57,840
HE GROANS
Now, you're my witness, Daniel. He ran straight onto it.
315
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,040
Clumsy little rat.
I saw it with my own eyes.
316
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:06,080
I'm sorry I'm late, dear.
I got a text from Jo.
317
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,320
Come on,
let's go and see your poor mum.
318
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:16,840
MACHINE BEEPS
I feel such an old fool.
319
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,360
You are an old fool.
SHE LAUGHS
320
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,840
Well, I'm an old fool with
a lot of time on my hands now.
321
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,880
So I'll be able to come and stay
with you in America... for weeks.
322
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,640
Oh, God. Me, too!
323
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,160
Maybe we could open up
an American business, Dan.
324
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:36,200
Yeah, I've been thinking about this.
What did you say sold well at your shop?
325
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,720
Newspapers, bags and sweets.
Weird, right? Yeah.
326
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,520
I mean, it's almost as if
you should've opened a...
327
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:48,480
Newsagents? I'll help you
with a new pitch tomorrow.
328
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:52,520
Wicked! And I'll drive you
to the airport, Dan.
329
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,280
I'm not going. What?
330
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,320
Come on, of course I'm not going.
Jesus Christ, look at the state of you all.
331
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:06,200
And besides, following a girl
to America based on one knee-trembler is folly, right, Nesta?
332
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,880
Well... Sorry.
333
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,040
God, sorry. Hi, Dan.
334
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:16,040
I, erm... I just heard about
your mum and I brought this.
335
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,480
Veg! Sweet!
336
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,400
WHISPERS: My idea.
337
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:24,440
Well, come in, dear. Any friend
of Daniel's is a friend of ours.
338
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:27,400
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
339
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:31,440
Oh. Sorry, I better take this.
340
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,560
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
341
00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,080
"Oh, at last. Where have you been?
I've been leaving you messages." Hey.
342
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,080
It's all fine. "It's not all fine!"
343
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:50,640
It is. I'm here with her now.
It's all sorted.
344
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,640
But listen, Emma, I'm staying.
"What are you talking about?" It's madness, I know,
345
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,160
but I was gonna follow you out there,
but with everything that's happened...
346
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,360
"Dan!
347
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,560
I told you
I hadn't been feeling well.
348
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:06,600
You fucking idiot! I'm pregnant."
349
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,360
No! "Dan..." But, no...
350
00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,120
HE SCREAMS
351
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:15,280
Oh! Ow! Agh! Oh!
352
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,920
Ow! Help me! Help!
353
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,480
HE SCREAMS
354
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:25,440
Oh! Oh, fuck it!
355
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:29,480
HE GROANS
356
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:34,200
Dan?
357
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,240
Yup. All good.
358
00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,800
I fell in love
359
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,600
With an idea
360
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,840
I know, I know, I know
361
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,840
I fell in love
362
00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,560
With an idea
363
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,600
I know, I know, I know
364
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:59,200
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