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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,159
Push harder! Push!
Push! Come on!
2
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,479
Why do I always have
to be the alien queen?
3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,599
Shut up, Robin, you girl!
4
00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:11,079
Sir! Robin's being a pussy!
5
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,759
He's giving birth to a lizard,
Dennis.
6
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:14,279
It's going to sting a bit, isn't it?
7
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:16,079
They've got those head spikes.
8
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,279
Is this going to help me get a job
when I leave school?
9
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,159
No, probably not.
But here's a thought -
10
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,039
being likeable might give
you the edge.
11
00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:24,359
Shut up, Karen! Drama is wicked!
12
00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:27,079
Beard!
Not beard, Aaron. Drama is wicked.
13
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,799
Chinny reckon.
You don't chinny-reckon me.
14
00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:31,599
He can beard me. That's his thing.
15
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,759
Don't even think about doing
GCSE drama.
16
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:35,319
Why would I take this bullshit
17
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:37,519
when I'm in the top stream
for everything else?
18
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,919
Ho-ho! Itchy chin, you are,
cos you've got a pushy mum.
19
00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:41,279
Who thinks you're a knob.
20
00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:43,519
I can see the head!
I can see the head!
21
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,199
Push it! Come on! Robin!
22
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,840
You pussy!
23
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,319
Mr Davies, can I see you a minute?
24
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,359
Well, can it wait? As you can see,
Miss Lipsey, I have a class, so...
25
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:54,679
Er...
26
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:58,399
No, I'm kidding. Of course.
Carry on with the module, everyone.
27
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:02,400
And if the baby is born,
don't trust Karen with it.
28
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,284
I hate you.
29
00:01:06,345 --> 00:01:30,765
30
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,759
If you've called me out here
to arrange sex,
31
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,079
we're going to have to go
to your stationery cupboard.
32
00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:36,239
I've lost the keys to mine.
33
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,279
Dennis's uncle has had
a heart attack.
34
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,639
Oh, God. When?
35
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,799
Last night. It's a worry
because he's very close to him.
36
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,959
I know. He hero-worships him.
37
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,679
He told me he threw a Labrador
on top of a shed once.
38
00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:48,959
He didn't say why.
39
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,919
Has he been acting strangely?
40
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:52,759
'Push it out, lizard bitch!'
41
00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,759
No, not at all.
42
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:56,879
This is the problem.
His uncle is in hospital,
43
00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,079
and we've just found out that
his mum has broken her parole.
44
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:02,959
Again? Yeah, so there's no-one
to pick him up.
45
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,679
He's going to have to spend
the weekend with social services.
46
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,119
Oh, God.
47
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:11,120
I mean, they're just not allowed
a childhood, some of these kids.
48
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,639
Are... are you sure
this is a good idea?
49
00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:17,559
It's all under control.
50
00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:20,359
A lot of people think
I'd make an amazing dad,
51
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,279
and there's a reason for that.
52
00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,759
I empathise.
53
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,519
Sir! Your car's shit!
54
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:27,679
Yeah? At least I've got a car,
haven't I, mate?
55
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,399
What have you got? A kite?!
56
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,479
But, Dan, what are you
going to do with him?
57
00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,039
Social services are insistent
on this two-adult rule.
58
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,479
Emma, it's sorted.
59
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:38,159
I had an idyllic childhood,
60
00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:41,919
and I'm not going to allow a broken
society to steal Dennis's off him.
61
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:45,920
Maybe Alistair from maths would be
too busy nibbling away on his tofu
62
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,679
to give an orphan a lovely weekend.
63
00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,959
But, hey.
64
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,199
Yeah, my second responsible adult.
65
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,639
What's going on?
66
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,839
I've got stuff to do. This outfit
isn't designed for running.
67
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,479
I've just made a load of builders
boo.
68
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:05,480
All right?
69
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,559
No, I'm busy.
70
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,159
Use your mum or Aunt Nesta.
71
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,999
Oh, that's a good idea, isn't it?
What shall we do tonight, Dennis?
72
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,319
Shall we watch an old lady
drink her body weight in tea,
73
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,679
or a different old lady
punch a horse in the kipper?
74
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,159
Sorry, mate. The new company's
really kicking off.
75
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,399
Execustress.
76
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,279
"Less stress, more success,
in bizness.
77
00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,919
"My card."
78
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,159
I have tried to tell you,
that's not a saying.
79
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:29,959
You actually have to have a card.
80
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,399
Sir, can you just take me home
and go out with your girlfriend?
81
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:34,599
I'm fine.
82
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,239
She's not my girlfriend, mate.
83
00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:37,599
No. Although when he's drunk,
84
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:39,319
he does say he'd like a go
on my bangers.
85
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,919
Bangers means roller skates, Dennis.
86
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,559
I thought it meant tits.
87
00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:47,560
And I wasn't drunk anyway.
I'd just had a tetanus.
88
00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,400
Sir, it's weird staying at your
teacher's. Can I just go home?
89
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,879
You must be Dennis! Ignore her,
Dennis. Literally blank her.
90
00:03:56,880 --> 00:04:00,359
Come on in! I've made some squash!
91
00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,559
What's squash?
92
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:04,079
It's an insipid drink
favoured by the elderly, Dennis.
93
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,679
It's like water that's been
shown a picture of a lemon.
94
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,679
Take no notice of him, Dennis.
95
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,680
Daniel loves squash. I bring him
one every night before his bath.
96
00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,439
I pour it down the sink.
97
00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,440
How old are you, sir?
98
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,719
That's it. It's important
to really get him on edge.
99
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,599
Dennis, get away from her.
She's not like us.
100
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,399
Nesta is taking me on a hunt, sir.
101
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,559
Right, our day out
is not going to involve
102
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,759
going on some leather-faced
maniac's wildlife genocide.
103
00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,119
We're not hunting a real one,
anyway, sir.
104
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,799
Sadly, it's not allowed these days,
105
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,479
because Tony Blair
wants to have sex with them.
106
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,839
So, Barry is our quarry.
107
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:50,959
Oh, right. And you're OK
with this, are you, mate?
108
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:52,599
Course not.
Dennis.
109
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,559
Get your bike.
We're going on an adventure.
110
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,399
And where exactly are you taking him
on this incredible journey?
111
00:04:57,400 --> 00:04:59,159
We're going down the cafe.
112
00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:03,160
Huh! Or would you rather stay here
and ride Barry to ground?
113
00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,159
Wicked! Let's get him doused.
114
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:07,479
I'm a person!
115
00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:09,519
Um, what is...?
116
00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,719
Oh...!
117
00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:12,959
Is this fox piss?
118
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,839
Give that back to the boy!
119
00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,839
Our rites-of-passage day
will be innocent and heart-warming
120
00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,919
and impress the woman
I want to have sex with.
121
00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:22,919
Let the boy find his inner beast.
122
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,639
Fuck off. We've got plans.
123
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,439
It's going to be like Stand By Me.
124
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,159
Oh!
Oh!
125
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:31,839
Oh! Oh!
126
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:33,999
Aaah! Aaah!
127
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,279
Aaah!
Dennis, we're leaving.
128
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,479
How?
What?
129
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,599
I hear you need a second adult.
130
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,439
And your mother is helping to knit
131
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:44,639
a massive scarf for cancer today,
so...
132
00:05:44,640 --> 00:05:46,640
You monster.
133
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,399
Er... mate, do you deliver post?
134
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,599
Of course. Why do you think
I'm dressed like this?
135
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:57,119
Let me finish. To St Martin's Drive?
136
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,799
Yeah.
137
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:02,800
Get your bike, Dennis, I'll go and
change. The road trip is back on.
138
00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,440
Oh.
139
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,479
This is what it's all about, Dennis.
Days of yore.
140
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,479
Just two kids on classic bikes.
141
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,839
Hey! Oggy, oggy, oggy!
142
00:06:18,840 --> 00:06:22,840
Get fucked, you paedo!
143
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,599
What bike is this, sir?
144
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,599
It's the legendary Raleigh Grifter,
Dennis. It's shit.
145
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:32,600
What is wrong with you kids?
146
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,839
Remember to keep breathing.
147
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,279
Sweet.
148
00:06:37,280 --> 00:06:38,959
Really nice, Peter.
149
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,119
Remember the Execustress mantra.
150
00:06:42,120 --> 00:06:44,959
"Stress? Do one.
151
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,599
"Seriously, fuck off!"
152
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:49,559
Are you actually qualified
in t'ai chi?
153
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,839
I'm not making it up, am I?
154
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:54,199
Anyway, we're moving on to the
next phase now. Controlled crying.
155
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:57,319
So, get out the bags
I gave you earlier.
156
00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,119
When stress builds up, it can
affect people in a really bad way.
157
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,799
An uncle of mine
once shat in a pram. So...
158
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,479
I'm really sorry, but I was wondering
if I could go back to the office?
159
00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:10,439
I thought this would help,
but I... I don't think it is.
160
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,239
Peter, focus.
161
00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:15,999
You are holding
a scientific crying mixture.
162
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,919
Noses in... and breathe.
163
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,359
Argh! Fuck!
164
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,480
Aaargh!
Aaah!
165
00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:32,560
Aaah! Fuck!
166
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,800
OK. I think I overcooked
the turps again.
167
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,480
Oi! Put that away, mate.
The real adventure's about to start.
168
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:15,519
Hello.
169
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,319
Me and Dennis, we're going down the
caff and that. Are you up for it?
170
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,919
No, of course not.
171
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:21,239
Hello, Dennis.
172
00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:23,959
Nice shorts!
173
00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,959
Come on, mate,
it's going to be awesome.
174
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,719
It's going to be like the old days.
175
00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,679
Plus, I want to show Emma
what an incredible dad I am,
176
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,359
and I need another adult with me.
177
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,479
Have you lost your mind?
And I'm painting.
178
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,239
You bloody square!
179
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,360
Shh. Keep it down, for Christ's sake.
Julia's asleep in the lounge.
180
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,239
Sorry, Dennis.
Brian's been grounded.
181
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,159
No, I haven't.
He's not allowed out.
182
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,439
Probably just as well.
He's got a shit bike.
183
00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:49,679
He wouldn't have kept up
with us anyway.
184
00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:52,400
What did you say?
185
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,439
Sir's right. You really are boring.
186
00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:10,520
Dungeons & Dragons is not boring.
187
00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:15,840
A lot more rewarding than this
neon nonsense. I mean, it's...
188
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,520
Sniper! Sniper on the roof!
189
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,519
God. That must have been his jugular.
190
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:26,520
Here we go.
191
00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,439
Milk?!
192
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,799
Whole lotta bottle!
193
00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,399
Nothing like it, was there, Brian?
Glass of the white stuff.
194
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:35,959
Gear us up for an adventure.
195
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:38,119
Oh, I feel like a kid again.
196
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,119
Oh, look what I bought, Dennis.
197
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,639
Guess who's back in town, Brian!
198
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,039
Oh, God.
199
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,199
Bubble gum?
200
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:48,199
Tell him what they used to call me.
They used to call you Dan.
201
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,719
I presume you're referring
to the name you gave yourself?
202
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:52,399
Which was?
203
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,999
Daddy Big-Bubbles.
204
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,039
D to the B!
Remember that one I blew at school?
205
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,719
Yes, because
I had to cut it out of Jo's hair.
206
00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:01,199
It was fucking massive, Dennis.
207
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,479
Why do you remember it?
208
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,439
I remember all of my awesomeness
from school. Honestly!
209
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:07,079
You want to be careful, mate.
210
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,839
We might have a game
of Table Of Squash later.
211
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,439
What's Table Of Squash?
212
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:14,319
I used to push this idiot into
tables of drinks in the canteen.
213
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,920
He went down like a pasty Bambi.
214
00:10:18,280 --> 00:10:19,879
Ah, see!
215
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:23,119
The old people
aren't so boring now, are they? Ah.
216
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,159
Did you used to have a laugh
at school, Shakira?
217
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:29,160
I'm not your fucking friend.
218
00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,839
Nightmare.
Everyone's dropped off the course.
219
00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:35,919
No way!
220
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,839
Yeah. Peter almost got hit
by a car, running away.
221
00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:40,559
Making good progress as well.
222
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,959
I thought they were ready
for level three.
223
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:45,119
Remember this?
224
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:47,559
Oh, my God!
225
00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:51,079
The furry periscope.
The furry periscope.
226
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,080
Oh, no.
227
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:59,319
Brian, are you in or out?
I'm out.
228
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,959
This was bloody irresponsible
when we were at school.
229
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,879
I'll look after Dennis' game.
230
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,759
I need to save some battery!
231
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,760
Well?
232
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,479
OK, guys, inside this building
are filing clerks.
233
00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,999
They are extremely angry
with how rubbish their lives are.
234
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,559
We're here to push them
over the edge.
235
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,999
There are two ways
they can get to us when they crack -
236
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,799
via the corridor
and the east rear doors,
237
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,799
which, if memory serves me right,
Brian, that's a... 35-second run.
238
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,319
One round, then we take a quick rest
239
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,279
for a couple of levels
on Dennis' game, right?
240
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,399
No!
Selfer.
241
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,479
35 seconds sounds like
a lot of time. It isn't.
242
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,599
Now, remember,
if a soldier is de-parka-ed,
243
00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:39,399
he never identifies the others.
244
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,400
It's like Fight Club.
It isn't. Break!
245
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:48,879
This is insane.
246
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:52,159
OK, everyone, let's do this. One...
247
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,519
Actually, I think I'm out.
248
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,799
Take short, sharp breaths, Brian.
Own the tension.
249
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,719
..two...
250
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,080
..three...
251
00:12:02,080 --> 00:12:05,479
..go!
Argh!
252
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,959
Hold.
253
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,359
Hold.
254
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,400
Hold...
255
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,680
What the hell are you doing?
256
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,759
Hold.
Get away from here.
257
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,479
Break!
258
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,519
Ooh! Pie break!
259
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,279
Ridiculous.
260
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,519
I told you it would be a rush.
Are you buzzing, Dennis?
261
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,439
What's the point of this, sir?
262
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:35,440
Repo!
263
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,920
One, two, three, go!
264
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,839
Oh, my God, Peter. Peter?
265
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,399
Peter!
266
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,647
Ah!
267
00:12:49,593 --> 00:12:53,447
Why have we stopped? I've just
told Julia I'm heading home.
268
00:12:54,057 --> 00:12:56,016
Look.
269
00:12:56,017 --> 00:12:58,756
Remember this? Box Hill.
270
00:12:58,832 --> 00:13:00,831
Of course I remember it.
It was humiliating.
271
00:13:00,832 --> 00:13:02,751
You almost made it, though,
didn't you, Dan?
272
00:13:02,752 --> 00:13:04,711
- Very nearly.
- What is it?
273
00:13:04,712 --> 00:13:06,991
Dan was being chased by Geoff Doogan
274
00:13:06,992 --> 00:13:08,671
and decided the best course of action
275
00:13:08,672 --> 00:13:11,671
would be to ride down
the sheer face of this hill.
276
00:13:11,672 --> 00:13:14,231
And I almost made it.
It was incredible, Dennis.
277
00:13:14,232 --> 00:13:17,072
You reminded me of that guy dressed
all in white. What was his name?
278
00:13:17,185 --> 00:13:18,544
Evel Knievel.
279
00:13:18,545 --> 00:13:22,184
No, Ryan Tilley.
Worked at the dairy.
280
00:13:22,185 --> 00:13:23,864
Excuse me! You didn't almost make it.
281
00:13:23,865 --> 00:13:25,624
You got about 20 feet
and then you came off
282
00:13:25,625 --> 00:13:28,184
and crushed your testicles
on the crossbar of your Chopper.
283
00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:30,544
And who had to spend five hours
with you in A & E? Muggins.
284
00:13:30,545 --> 00:13:34,224
Well, the world would be a pretty dull place
if we were all like you, wouldn't it, mate?
285
00:13:34,225 --> 00:13:36,424
Yeah. The world needs adventurers.
286
00:13:36,425 --> 00:13:39,344
A push-bike isn't designed
for extreme hill descent.
287
00:13:39,345 --> 00:13:42,344
If you'd spent a little more time
listening in physics lessons
288
00:13:42,345 --> 00:13:45,384
and a little less time drawing
pictures of Yogi Bear fellating himself,
289
00:13:45,385 --> 00:13:46,784
you might have known that!
290
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,464
What's that?
291
00:13:48,465 --> 00:13:50,344
At last, some innocence!
292
00:13:50,345 --> 00:13:53,544
You'll find out about all that in
good time, you cheeky young scamp.
293
00:13:53,545 --> 00:13:57,384
I know what that is, for fuck's
sake! What the hell's Yogi Bear?
294
00:13:57,385 --> 00:14:01,264
See what I mean?
It's a ruined generation.
295
00:14:01,265 --> 00:14:04,824
It's a bored one.
296
00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:06,944
We could go
to Pea-head Stanley's house
297
00:14:06,945 --> 00:14:08,664
and throw stones at the window.
298
00:14:08,665 --> 00:14:10,944
Old man Stanley was 80, 30 years ago.
299
00:14:10,945 --> 00:14:14,264
Brian, we are having
a great day out!
300
00:14:14,265 --> 00:14:15,984
All right, we could, um...
301
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,504
could, um...
Knock down ginger!
302
00:14:18,505 --> 00:14:19,984
Yes! No!
303
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,264
Brian, it's the
ultimate test of nerve.
304
00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:24,824
There's a lot of stress in
the group. We need to manage this.
305
00:14:24,825 --> 00:14:28,825
I'm a 40-year-old financial adviser.
I'm not playing knock down ginger.
306
00:14:29,105 --> 00:14:30,504
Get that away from me.
307
00:14:30,505 --> 00:14:32,184
What are we doing now?
308
00:14:32,185 --> 00:14:34,224
I'm going to go down here
and knock on this door
309
00:14:34,225 --> 00:14:36,064
and we're all going to run away.
310
00:14:36,065 --> 00:14:37,224
I'm not being funny,
311
00:14:37,225 --> 00:14:39,904
but you three must've been the
biggest losers at your school.
312
00:14:39,905 --> 00:14:42,424
Oh, yeah? We'll see about that.
313
00:14:42,425 --> 00:14:46,425
No. No!
314
00:14:47,945 --> 00:14:51,144
Get ready.
315
00:14:51,145 --> 00:14:52,624
Hello. Come on in.
316
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,544
Oh. Oh, no, we were just...
317
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:57,824
Come on. Tommy's missus
is about to say a few words.
318
00:14:57,825 --> 00:15:01,825
But...
Come on!
319
00:15:03,385 --> 00:15:06,624
# Bring 'em on, bring 'em on
# Bring 'em on
320
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:09,264
# Bring 'em on
321
00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:13,265
# Bring 'em all on down to the Lane!
322
00:15:14,265 --> 00:15:15,825
Up the Blues!
323
00:15:17,465 --> 00:15:19,344
- Oh, my God.
- Remember.
324
00:15:19,345 --> 00:15:21,624
Today is all about family.
325
00:15:21,625 --> 00:15:24,944
Tommy loved you all
like you was brothers and sisters.
326
00:15:24,945 --> 00:15:27,104
You remember his words?
327
00:15:27,105 --> 00:15:29,384
"We all look after each other.
328
00:15:29,385 --> 00:15:33,385
"If anyone disrespects our family,
we cut their fucking faces off!"
329
00:15:35,105 --> 00:15:39,105
Yeah! Yes!
330
00:15:40,945 --> 00:15:43,464
She seems well upset.
331
00:15:43,465 --> 00:15:45,864
Almost stressed.
No.
332
00:15:45,865 --> 00:15:48,704
Looks like Execustress's work
isn't finished yet, boys.
333
00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:52,705
Stay here, you clown.
They're psychopaths.
334
00:15:54,385 --> 00:15:56,824
Friends of Tommy's?
335
00:15:56,825 --> 00:16:00,144
Yeah... yeah.
Yeah, yeah, big-time.
336
00:16:00,145 --> 00:16:02,104
Yeah? How did you know him?
337
00:16:02,105 --> 00:16:06,105
From, er... down the old, er...
down the old matches down the Lane.
338
00:16:07,505 --> 00:16:09,304
I fucking love the Lane, you know.
339
00:16:09,305 --> 00:16:11,824
Anyway, who are you, son?
I'm his brother.
340
00:16:11,825 --> 00:16:15,584
I don't remember him going down the
Lane with a lanky streak of piss.
341
00:16:15,585 --> 00:16:18,584
Well, he sat next to me, so...
Yeah? Even in the '90s?
342
00:16:18,585 --> 00:16:21,064
Especially in the '90s. Glory days.
343
00:16:21,065 --> 00:16:24,144
When Tommy was in prison?
Now, then, we don't want any trouble.
344
00:16:24,145 --> 00:16:25,464
Who the fuck are you?!
345
00:16:25,465 --> 00:16:27,624
Eh!
346
00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:30,784
Surely, you... you recognise
Tommy's cell-mate?
347
00:16:30,785 --> 00:16:33,864
What? Tommy didn't do bird
with a posh prick!
348
00:16:33,865 --> 00:16:36,104
Hey, have a bit of respect.
349
00:16:36,105 --> 00:16:38,144
What were you in for?
350
00:16:38,145 --> 00:16:42,145
Well, fucking tell him.
351
00:16:44,145 --> 00:16:48,145
TV licence?
Well, yeah.
352
00:16:49,785 --> 00:16:52,584
The adverts are right.
They really will get you.
353
00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:56,585
OK, that's it. Boys!
Unwanted guests!
354
00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,904
Here, you're Donnie, ain't ya?
355
00:16:59,905 --> 00:17:03,064
Maybe I am, yeah. Is that good?
356
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,904
Donnie, big mate of Tommy's.
Yeah.
357
00:17:05,905 --> 00:17:08,984
Yeah, yeah!
Donnie! It's Donnie!
358
00:17:08,985 --> 00:17:10,505
I fucking told you, you muppet!
359
00:17:11,945 --> 00:17:15,945
I've a good mind to make you
smile for ever, you... you cunt!
360
00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:23,304
Sir, what's going on?
I'm bored shitless.
361
00:17:23,305 --> 00:17:25,464
Why is he calling you sir?
362
00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:27,744
Well, cos he knows
he'll get a clump if he doesn't.
363
00:17:27,745 --> 00:17:30,984
He's got a bit of respect since I
threw his Labrador on top of a shed.
364
00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:33,424
But you know Donnie. Ooh!
365
00:17:33,425 --> 00:17:35,984
Do the thing then, Donnie.
What thing?
366
00:17:35,985 --> 00:17:37,504
Oh! Donnie!
367
00:17:37,505 --> 00:17:40,624
You did the party thing!
Do the thing!
368
00:17:40,625 --> 00:17:42,424
I don't think
he should do the thing today.
369
00:17:42,425 --> 00:17:43,744
Shut the fuck up, shorts.
370
00:17:43,745 --> 00:17:46,304
I can't do the thing at his funeral.
Do it.
371
00:17:46,305 --> 00:17:47,664
Do it!
372
00:17:47,665 --> 00:17:50,464
Do the thing!
Do the thing!
373
00:17:50,465 --> 00:17:53,104
Do the thing! Do the thing!
374
00:17:53,105 --> 00:17:55,584
Do the thing! Do the thing!
I'm gonna do it.
375
00:17:55,585 --> 00:17:57,144
I'm gonna do the thing.
Do the thing!
376
00:17:57,145 --> 00:17:58,744
I'm gonna do it.
Do the thing!
377
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:00,704
I'm gonna do the thing.
I'm gonna do the thing.
378
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,224
Do the thing! Do the thing!
Uh-huh!
379
00:18:02,225 --> 00:18:04,304
Do the thing!
Uh-huh! I'm gonna do the thing.
380
00:18:04,305 --> 00:18:07,464
Uh-huh, yeah...
Do the thing! Do the thing!
381
00:18:07,465 --> 00:18:09,704
Do the thing! Do the thing!
382
00:18:09,705 --> 00:18:11,665
Do the thing!
383
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,904
Arrgh!
384
00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:38,905
She's put fucking curry powder
up my schnoz!
385
00:18:39,145 --> 00:18:40,624
It's... it's science.
386
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,944
Who the fuck are you people?
387
00:18:42,945 --> 00:18:46,424
Guys, listen...
388
00:18:46,425 --> 00:18:49,424
Table Of Squash!
389
00:18:49,425 --> 00:18:53,344
Where are ya?
Fucking come out!
390
00:18:53,345 --> 00:18:56,104
Where are you? Fucking...
391
00:18:56,105 --> 00:18:58,104
Come on, boys!
392
00:18:58,105 --> 00:18:59,864
Let's have 'em!
We'll have 'em!
393
00:18:59,865 --> 00:19:03,865
Keep your eyes peeled
wherever they are!
394
00:19:08,185 --> 00:19:09,984
OK, that's it.
395
00:19:09,985 --> 00:19:11,344
Oh, come on. It was fun.
396
00:19:11,345 --> 00:19:13,344
It wasn't fun.
It was bloody dangerous.
397
00:19:13,345 --> 00:19:14,704
I think I've bruised my ribs.
398
00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:17,704
Dennis, pass me the game.
No! Get your own game!
399
00:19:17,705 --> 00:19:20,984
Guys, we've had a difficult time.
I think we should do some stretches.
400
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:23,304
Oh, Jo, we are not
on your bloody course!
401
00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:25,024
We're having a fun day out.
402
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:28,184
OK, Dennis, we're going to go up
the vicarage and nick some apples.
403
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:31,944
Why? Cos it's fun!
We're having a fun day!
404
00:19:31,945 --> 00:19:35,024
Brian, have you still got that
magnifying glass you used to have?
405
00:19:35,025 --> 00:19:37,264
We could burn some holes in leaves.
I'm going home.
406
00:19:37,265 --> 00:19:39,984
You're not going in? I'm already
in trouble. I'm going in.
407
00:19:39,985 --> 00:19:43,384
Brian! Just because
he won't let you play on his game?
408
00:19:43,385 --> 00:19:46,784
You go in, you're not hanging out
with us any more! I mean it!
409
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:50,785
Fine! I don't want
to hang out with you anyway!
410
00:19:50,945 --> 00:19:52,824
Peter!
411
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,224
Oh, no.
What have you done to yourself?
412
00:19:55,225 --> 00:19:56,704
No, please!
Wait, I can help.
413
00:19:56,705 --> 00:19:59,464
Jo, no! The two adult...
I can help you, Peter!
414
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:03,465
Keep away!
The two-adult rule.
415
00:20:07,705 --> 00:20:10,104
Pretty rubbish day, eh?
416
00:20:10,105 --> 00:20:13,944
Nah, it was OK, sir.
417
00:20:13,945 --> 00:20:15,584
I don't suppose you'd tell
Miss Lipsey
418
00:20:15,585 --> 00:20:19,585
it was the best day of your
whole childhood, would you?
419
00:20:19,865 --> 00:20:21,064
I suppose.
420
00:20:21,065 --> 00:20:22,464
And just a thought.
421
00:20:22,465 --> 00:20:26,465
Maybe you could, like, if it
doesn't seem too over the top,
422
00:20:26,625 --> 00:20:29,664
you could tell her
I'm like the dad you never had.
423
00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:31,984
I...I mean, it's up to you.
424
00:20:31,985 --> 00:20:33,744
Sir...
425
00:20:33,745 --> 00:20:36,104
Just... try calling me Dad.
426
00:20:36,105 --> 00:20:37,464
Sir!
427
00:20:37,465 --> 00:20:41,464
You disrespected my fella's funeral,
you bubble-blowing prick!
428
00:20:41,465 --> 00:20:43,224
Dead meat!
429
00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:44,784
Ride, Dennis!
430
00:20:44,785 --> 00:20:46,984
Ride! Ride!
431
00:20:46,985 --> 00:20:48,505
Come on, boys!
432
00:20:55,705 --> 00:20:58,984
I'm sorry, Dennis.
I did my best by you.
433
00:20:58,985 --> 00:21:01,024
Come on! Come on!
434
00:21:01,025 --> 00:21:03,784
They won't hurt you. I'll face them.
435
00:21:03,785 --> 00:21:07,104
Yes! Come on!
436
00:21:07,105 --> 00:21:09,784
It's doable.
What?
437
00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:13,384
We can get down on this,
even on these shit bikes.
438
00:21:13,385 --> 00:21:16,584
No! Dennis!
439
00:21:16,585 --> 00:21:17,625
Yeah!
440
00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:31,745
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
441
00:21:33,465 --> 00:21:35,464
Get away from me!
I'm trying to help you!
442
00:21:35,465 --> 00:21:39,465
Leave me alone! Peter!
Breathe into this bag, Peter!
443
00:21:41,505 --> 00:21:43,504
Just leave me alone!
444
00:21:43,505 --> 00:21:46,224
Oh! Ooh! Oh!
445
00:21:46,225 --> 00:21:48,184
Peter! Aaargh!
446
00:21:48,185 --> 00:21:49,305
Oh!
447
00:21:51,225 --> 00:21:54,104
Wanker!
448
00:21:54,105 --> 00:21:55,865
Leave him alone! He ain't worth it.
449
00:21:57,625 --> 00:21:59,744
Oh! Oh!
Peter!
450
00:21:59,745 --> 00:22:02,224
Please! Please just leave me alone!
All right.
451
00:22:02,225 --> 00:22:03,944
Stay away from me!
Good.
452
00:22:03,945 --> 00:22:07,945
Peter!
OK.
453
00:22:11,385 --> 00:22:13,224
That was my mum, sir.
454
00:22:13,225 --> 00:22:15,784
Huh. My uncle's fine.
455
00:22:15,785 --> 00:22:17,344
Yeah?
Yeah.
456
00:22:17,345 --> 00:22:19,464
Oh, good.
457
00:22:19,465 --> 00:22:23,465
I think I might go home.
Yeah.
458
00:22:30,945 --> 00:22:32,985
Aargh! Aaargh!
459
00:22:34,265 --> 00:22:38,075
You can run, Barry,
but you can't hide!
460
00:22:38,084 --> 00:23:06,440
461
00:23:06,490 --> 00:23:11,040
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