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9 days past expiration.
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Here.
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UGHH! It turned carbonated.
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Expired 2 months ago.
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You don't have the guts.
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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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When was the last Christmas we have Egg Nog?
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I think before Dewey.
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It's all you, man.
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This is a game that has no winners.
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Produced and synced by: kongma
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Well, that's the last of my Halloween candy.
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All that sugar, all those cavities.
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We're the real winners, guys.
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Are you coming over Saturday?
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For what?
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For what?
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The Leonid meteor shower!
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Only once in a lifetime that the meteor Leonid
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reveal their full beauty before bedtime!
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I wish I could, guys
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but Francis is coming home this weekend.
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And, since he missed Halloween last week,
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we're going to hang out together.
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Are you sure?
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Stevie has a new telescope, and I was thinking
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that after the meteor shower,
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we could watch Mrs.Feldman shower.
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And you call yourself a scientist.
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It's been a week, sweetie.
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Take off the costume.
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But I like it.
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It's filthy. Come here.
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Go put some clothes on, sweetie.
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What're you doing?
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I don't know. There's something about the way you
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swish that brush around that just drives me...
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Damn! That blue car!
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That's three times this week.
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That joyriding son of a...
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Hal, just call the police.
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I have! They won't do anything.
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Lois, I swear, one of these days I'm going to
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catch up to that punk, I'm going to
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drag him out of his car, and I'm going to
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beat him senseless until he understands
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that there's a certain thing called the law.
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Don't let him get to you. Come on.
49
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Well, when's it going to stop?
50
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When Dewey here is smashed into a lifeless pulp?
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Put some clothes on, son.
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Halloween sucked this year without Francis.
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The eggs and shaving cream I can keep.
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But what am I ever going to do with this stuff?
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It was supposed to be our first Halloween as
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mindless vandals,
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but Francis got in trouble at school,
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so we had to go trick-or-treating like a bunch of little kids.
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Oh, look at you three.
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What are you?
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A beat-up hillbilly.
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And you?
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Just give us the candy.
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I bet you're a ghost.
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I'm a marshmallow.
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Oh, and a cute one at that.
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I just want to stick a fork in your belly and roast
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you over an open flame till you're nice and crispy.
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It's embarrassing at our age...
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coming home with candy?
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Give me that.
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Hey!
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Hey! Hey!
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Pull over, you gutless!
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I got kids!
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You lousy...
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son of a...
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This guy is a madness.
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I've tried to get him on my own, but the truth is...
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it's not a job for one man.
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It is a community problem.
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And all we have to do is work together.
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We all keep an eye out for this guy,
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I think we'll be able to catch him pretty quickly.
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Why don't you clean up your yard?
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Why don't you just move?
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Look, this isn't about me.
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These meetings are always about you.
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You are the sole reason we meet!
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Those kids of yours should be in jail.
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How would you like if you dreamt and saved
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all your life to live in a nice neighborhood
93
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and then a bunch of guardless monsters moved in
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and destroyed all your dreams!
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Okay back to the subject that I'd pass around
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a sign-up sheet for a stay-out.
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Well...
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Thanks for your time.
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Hello?
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Hi, Francis, welcome home.
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Too old to hug your mom?
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Mom, I've been waiting at the bus station for three hours.
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Why didn't anybody come to pick me up?
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What?
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I sent your father.
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Oh, Francis, I'm sorry.
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He's battling his archenemy.
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What? The squirrel's back?
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No, it's a human this time.
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- Francis!
- Hey!
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Did you guys tear it up on Halloween?
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Oh, yeah. We were out of control.
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Kids were running,
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people were screaming,
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babies were crying.
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We went trick-or-treating.
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It just didn't feel right without you.
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I had fun.
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Shut up, Dewey.
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Couldn't you have gotten in trouble after Halloween?
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Guys, I'm sorry.
122
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I know I let you down, but...
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I really didn't have a choice.
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The commandant's fake leg was just lying there
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in the closet begging for a novelty bumper sticker.
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it was a snap decision,
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but I really think I did the right thing.
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That's all right. There's always next year.
129
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Why do we have to wait a year?
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Guys, Halloween isn't a date on the calendar.
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Yeah, it is. It's the 31st.
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No, Halloween is in your hearts.
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Every time a little kid cries in fear,
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that's Halloween.
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Every time something repulsive ends up in a mailbox,
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that is Halloween.
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As long as you carry the spirit of destruction
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and vandalism in your hearts,
139
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every day is Halloween.
140
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No, look. It is the 31st.
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Men,
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we are going to have Halloween this weekend.
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Hal, you have been out here for seven hours.
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Come to bed.
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Look, Lois, I am doing this for the boys.
146
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We can't just let our street become a speedway.
147
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I've got to protect my family
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even if it means sitting in this van every night for a month.
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It's a matter of principle.
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Before you go to sleep, I'd like you to replace my pee jar.
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Son of a...
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Boys, the time has come.
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You're about to see the device that will
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change the face of Halloween forever.
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Behold.
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That's not a flying chocolate maker.
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This is just a bunch of tubes.
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Trust me.
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I do trust you, but...
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I expected something a little more...
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Oh, my God. Will this work?
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Absolutely.
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What? What is it?
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It looks like an incredibly powerful slingshot.
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A slingshot capable of hurling objects
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over a distance of two city blocks.
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Picture yourself--
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you're walking down the street,
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you're minding your own business
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when all of a sudden...
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BAMM!
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You're hit by a ten-pound balloon
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filled with shaving cream, paint
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or any number of foul-smelling liquids.
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And you never, ever know who did it.
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It's the perfect weapon.
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Reese, are you crying?
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No.
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What are you doing?
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I've had it, Lois.
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I'm building a speed bump.
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Hal, would you look at yourself?
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It's 4:00 in the morning.
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You're out here in your pajamas
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mixing cement in a wheelbarrow.
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It's going to rip the suspension right out from under him.
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There'll be some chassis damage.
188
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Oh, boy, I'd hate to be the one
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who has to realign his connecting rods.
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That guy's not going to know what hit him.
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Yee-ha!
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Okay, we got eggs, shaving cream, water balloons...
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I don't know I'm just not feeling it.
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These eggs are pretty rotten.
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Yeah I know, but it's all just so...
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standard.
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I mean, we have a whole new breed of weapon here.
198
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We need to live up to that.
199
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We need to start thinking outside the box.
200
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,060
So if you'll just spend a couple of hours waiting for him here,
201
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I know the guy will come racing by, and then you can
202
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arrest him and this whole thing will be over once and for all.
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I want some help protecting my family.
204
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So you weren't held up at gunpoint?
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Okay, that was a lie.
206
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But I've been calling you people for weeks
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and not getting any help.
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No one is listening to me.
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This your speed bump?
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It was a good bump, Hal.
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You want a sandwich?
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Easy.
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Good.
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Just let me talk to him.
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I'll get this whole thing straightened out in two minutes.
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Get the car.
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Let's go through this one more time. Malcolm?
218
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What's your job? Aimer.
219
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:29,460
Reese? Loader.
220
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,270
Dewey?
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What do you do if you see Mom and Dad come in?
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Excellent.
223
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Where did they go, anyway?
224
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Okay, look-- we've got his license plate.
225
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We've got his address.
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It's more than enough to give...
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Hal!
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What are you doing?
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Shh! Get down.
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I'm letting the air out of his tires.
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No, Hal.
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Okay, but then we go home.
233
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Hello.
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I have an idea.
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You can't steal his car.
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I'm not stealing his car.
237
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I'm just taking it elsewhere for a while.
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It'll teach the kid a lesson.
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No, Hal.
240
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I'm putting the key in the lock.
241
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No, Hal.
242
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I'm opening the door.
243
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No, Hal.
244
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- I'm getting in the car.
- No.
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I am turning on the engine.
246
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Oh, ow! Just...
247
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This is crazy.
248
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You can't just take a person's car.
249
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There are laws!
250
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Serious engine.
251
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He must have bored out the cylinders in this puppy.
252
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Pull over.
253
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Remember that Maverick I used to have?
254
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I don't want to talk about your old muscle car.
255
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Scared?
256
00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:53,920
Of course I'm scared.
257
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You've turned into a crazy person.
258
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Do it again.
259
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,060
All right, let's try a test shot.
260
00:14:07,410 --> 00:14:10,140
Reese, just get me a small water balloon.
261
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,660
Malcolm, you got me a target?
262
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,440
We've got a target.
263
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:26,280
Listen, you idiot.
264
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the optics on the Newtonian reflector
265
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don't even approach a Schmidt-Cassegrain.
266
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It's a nice century. Why don't you join it?
267
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Shrine burn center; admitting Kyle.
268
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Ladies.
269
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the stars?
270
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He's right.
271
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Why squabble when we have the Leonids?
272
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You hear something?
273
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Oh, my telescope!
274
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It's broken!
275
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,190
Yes!
276
00:14:54,340 --> 00:14:55,200
Yeah!
277
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:56,690
Go! Go!
278
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,920
Yeah!
279
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:54,080
Diaper! diaper! diaper!
280
00:15:55,850 --> 00:15:56,610
Diaper!
281
00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:02,020
Diaper! diaper! diaper!
282
00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:04,050
All right.
283
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,820
No more of those.
284
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:55,540
Yes!
285
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,330
I love you so much.
286
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,560
I can't believe the power of this thing.
287
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,600
If it was fallen into the wrong hands...
288
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:06,440
I see an old lady.
289
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,360
Reload!
290
00:17:19,340 --> 00:17:20,180
I'm serious, Hal.
291
00:17:20,180 --> 00:17:21,340
What are we going to do?
292
00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:22,870
The time to drop off the car and
293
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,930
go home was, like, 20 miles ago.
294
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:26,700
What if we just kept going?
295
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:27,840
What are you talking about?
296
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:29,540
I'm talking about you and me running away and
297
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:31,250
spending the rest of our lives on some...
298
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,510
on some hidden beach in Mexico,
299
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,450
with no jobs and...
300
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,480
no kids.
301
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,690
Oh, it's not that simple, Hal.
302
00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:40,640
Why not?
303
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,760
I mean, we would have to change our names, but...
304
00:17:46,510 --> 00:17:47,650
I'd be Raul.
305
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:50,590
You'd be Consuela.
306
00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:51,730
Consuela?
307
00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:52,960
See.
308
00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:01,960
You think they'd send the federals after us?
309
00:18:02,270 --> 00:18:03,140
Of course.
310
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,140
But they'd never find us.
311
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:06,620
We'd be outlaws.
312
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,060
Oh, we'd be legends.
313
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:09,910
We'd be living every parent's dream.
314
00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,720
We'd be folk heroes.
315
00:18:11,860 --> 00:18:13,000
Like Bonnie and Clyde.
316
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,670
Raul and Consuela.
317
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:16,990
Spearing fish.
318
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:19,460
Climbing for coconuts.
319
00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:22,040
Living naked as monkeys.
320
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:24,380
Oh... Raul.
321
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,230
Yeah!
322
00:18:35,690 --> 00:18:38,620
I think I speak for all of us when I say tonight ruled!
323
00:18:38,620 --> 00:18:39,500
Totally.
324
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,840
We own you all.
325
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,090
No one is safe.
326
00:18:42,260 --> 00:18:44,090
We are the kings of this block.
327
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:46,000
Did you hear me, world?
328
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,310
Violence just got a little more random!
329
00:18:53,980 --> 00:18:55,440
Reload! Reload!
330
00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:58,440
This is incredible.
331
00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,940
Their accuracy is amazing.
332
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:00,860
Make it stop!
333
00:19:00,860 --> 00:19:02,100
Who are these guys?
334
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:06,310
It's tofu.
335
00:19:06,380 --> 00:19:09,110
Angle: 47.9 Degrees.
336
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:10,480
Check.
337
00:19:12,350 --> 00:19:13,490
Brakes locked.
338
00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:18,830
This is for all the times I've been called "butt-tweeter."
339
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:20,030
Fire!
340
00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:23,830
What do you mean, Krelboynes?
341
00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:26,090
I guess they've built their own catapult.
342
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:27,340
That's impossible.
343
00:19:27,340 --> 00:19:28,400
How could they do that?
344
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,910
Where would they get the materials?
345
00:19:29,940 --> 00:19:32,470
It's a funnel and surgical tubing.
346
00:19:32,620 --> 00:19:34,640
Stevie's garage is filled with that stuff.
347
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,080
What are we going to do?
348
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,120
We're going to fight.
349
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:37,990
They're Krelboynes.
350
00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:38,920
They're nothing.
351
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:40,870
We can fight. We can fight!
352
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:42,500
We can fight.
353
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,360
We can fight.
354
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:46,190
We can fight.
355
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:47,700
We have to surrender.
356
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:48,980
Francis is right.
357
00:19:49,060 --> 00:19:50,240
We have to give up, Reese.
358
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:51,670
Come on, you wussies.
359
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:52,750
Just shoot me over there.
360
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:54,240
I'll kick your asses myself!
361
00:19:55,410 --> 00:19:56,330
Get it off!
362
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:57,890
Oh my God!
363
00:19:57,890 --> 00:19:58,940
Get it off!
364
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,540
They're surrendering.
365
00:20:01,340 --> 00:20:04,510
I suppose I've ever been offered the chance to surrender.
366
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:06,510
Keep firing!
367
00:20:09,450 --> 00:20:12,150
Well, they won't even let us surrender honorably.
368
00:20:12,910 --> 00:20:15,560
Boys, it's time to run away like cowards.
369
00:20:22,980 --> 00:20:23,710
Well,
370
00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:25,310
there is some comfort in knowing what the
371
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:27,310
next two hours of my life are going to be like.
372
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:29,570
Oh. Look.
373
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:31,030
Shooting star.
374
00:20:38,270 --> 00:20:40,450
Well, I'm thinking about this much more clearly now.
375
00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:42,460
Yeah, I think we both are, Hal.
376
00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:45,360
I guess Mexico's not really an option.
377
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:46,810
- No, I don't think so.
- No.
378
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,110
- It would have been fun, though.
- Oh yeah.
379
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:51,630
So, what do we do now?
380
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:57,600
Well, I assume the car has been reported stolen already.
381
00:20:58,060 --> 00:20:59,620
And we've probably...
382
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,010
left our share of DNA evidence in here.
383
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,170
That's only a 30-mile walk.
384
00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:24,790
We'll get home for breakfast.
385
00:21:26,530 --> 00:21:28,000
You know, I'm glad we didn't run away.
386
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,170
Yeah. Me, too.
387
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:32,510
What was my name again?
388
00:21:33,270 --> 00:21:34,600
Raul, baby.
389
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,099
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