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1
00:00:03,082 --> 00:00:06,108
No, it's the corner of 12th Street.
2
00:00:06,185 --> 00:00:08,517
12th Street! Right.
3
00:00:08,588 --> 00:00:11,455
Okay, so that's one large pizza.
4
00:00:11,524 --> 00:00:13,924
Now, half mushroom, half meatball.
5
00:00:13,993 --> 00:00:17,121
- Who are you talking to?
- The Italian embassy.
6
00:00:17,196 --> 00:00:20,165
- That's correct.
- You're ordering a pizza?
7
00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:22,861
What, are you a week behind?
Stay with me here.
8
00:00:22,935 --> 00:00:23,993
Get pepperoni.
9
00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,004
If I change the order,
his head will explode.
10
00:00:26,072 --> 00:00:29,166
- Well, what did you order?
- Half mushroom and half meatball.
11
00:00:29,242 --> 00:00:32,336
No, no. I was telling my wife.
No, I didn't want another one.
12
00:00:32,412 --> 00:00:36,212
-J ust the one pizza, right.
- Get half mushroom and half pepperoni.
13
00:00:39,719 --> 00:00:43,211
Let me ask you this.
Is it possible--
14
00:00:43,289 --> 00:00:46,190
Can I change the meatball
to pepperoni?
15
00:00:47,427 --> 00:00:49,657
- No.
- He said no?
16
00:00:49,729 --> 00:00:51,890
He's telling me no.
17
00:00:53,099 --> 00:00:54,327
How can he say no?
18
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:57,062
That's what they mean--
New York style pizzas.
19
00:01:09,148 --> 00:01:11,241
Tell me why
20
00:01:11,317 --> 00:01:13,148
I love you like I do
21
00:01:13,219 --> 00:01:14,846
Tell me who
22
00:01:14,921 --> 00:01:17,412
Can start my heart as much as you
23
00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:21,256
Tell me all your secrets
and I'll tell you most of mine
24
00:01:21,327 --> 00:01:25,286
They say nobody's perfect
Well, that's really true this time
25
00:01:25,364 --> 00:01:27,332
I don't have the answers
26
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,231
I don't have aplan
27
00:01:29,302 --> 00:01:31,236
But I'm mad about you, baby
28
00:01:31,304 --> 00:01:33,169
So help me understand
29
00:01:33,239 --> 00:01:34,672
What we do
30
00:01:34,740 --> 00:01:36,833
You can whisper in my ear
31
00:01:36,909 --> 00:01:38,672
Where we go
32
00:01:38,744 --> 00:01:41,008
Who knows what happens after here
33
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,980
Let's take each other's hand
34
00:01:43,049 --> 00:01:47,179
As we jump into
the final frontier
35
00:01:47,253 --> 00:01:50,017
I'm mad about you, baby
36
00:02:01,134 --> 00:02:03,500
Lisa, can't you at least stop by?
37
00:02:03,569 --> 00:02:05,799
Well, what am I gonna tell them?
38
00:02:05,872 --> 00:02:09,273
Daddy is not gonna believe
you've been quarantined.
39
00:02:09,342 --> 00:02:11,833
No, then forget it.
I can't talk to you now.
40
00:02:11,911 --> 00:02:15,438
Unbelievable. Your father
has circled the block nine times.
41
00:02:15,515 --> 00:02:18,348
He's gonna have to stop for gas soon.
42
00:02:26,726 --> 00:02:29,024
I want everything
to be perfect for them.
43
00:02:29,095 --> 00:02:32,462
Well, don't make it too perfect,
or your mother will have nothing to do.
44
00:02:33,966 --> 00:02:35,558
What are you doing?
45
00:02:38,304 --> 00:02:40,033
I don't know.
46
00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:42,165
Did you take a cracker?
47
00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:45,409
No.
48
00:02:48,481 --> 00:02:50,676
- Please don't mess everything up.
- Honey--
49
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,617
Seriously. I have a plan here.
I got p�te for my mother.
50
00:02:53,686 --> 00:02:56,416
I got the cheese that Daddy loves.
They're gonna have some snacks...
51
00:02:56,489 --> 00:02:58,855
they'll go through the wedding album,
they'll talk about New Haven...
52
00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:01,519
they'll drill me a little about Lisa
and then they're offto the matinee.
53
00:03:01,594 --> 00:03:03,960
- Sounds like you don't even need me.
- I hope you're kidding.
54
00:03:04,030 --> 00:03:06,521
- I am. Yes, I am. I'm kidding.
- What are you doing?
55
00:03:06,599 --> 00:03:08,931
- You're getting very tense.
- I'm not getting tense.
56
00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:12,198
Whatever you're getting, it scares me
because they'll only be here an hour.
57
00:03:12,271 --> 00:03:15,763
I know, and I want to enjoy it.
I've been looking forward to this hour.
58
00:03:16,576 --> 00:03:18,544
If I were you,
I'd hide under the bed.
59
00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:21,744
Save me a space.
60
00:03:21,814 --> 00:03:25,409
What is that supposed to mean?
You think I'm making too much ofthis?
61
00:03:27,386 --> 00:03:30,514
Give me a second. Let me think
ofthe exact right answer.
62
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:35,118
- I'm dancin' through land mines here.
- Why are you making me nuts?
63
00:03:35,194 --> 00:03:38,322
Can I just point out to you
objectively... I'm not.
64
00:03:38,397 --> 00:03:39,989
Then why am I so tense?
65
00:03:40,066 --> 00:03:43,661
This is what happens any time your
parents cross the Connecticut border.
66
00:03:43,736 --> 00:03:45,966
But it's okay. I love you,
and I will support you.
67
00:03:46,038 --> 00:03:48,165
And by nightfall,
you're gonna owe me so big.
68
00:03:48,241 --> 00:03:49,674
Okay?
69
00:03:49,742 --> 00:03:52,006
Why aren't you wearing
the yellow shirt my mom gave you?
70
00:03:53,579 --> 00:03:57,345
'Cause I like this shirt, and I'm saving
the yellow one for when I'm lost at sea.
71
00:03:59,885 --> 00:04:02,945
Why can't you wear
anything they give you?
72
00:04:03,022 --> 00:04:06,287
Well, how come you never wear
that brooch my mother bought foryou?
73
00:04:06,359 --> 00:04:08,418
Come on. That paper weight
with a pin in it?
74
00:04:08,494 --> 00:04:12,191
- Hey, look, no mothers.
- No mothers. I'm sorry.
75
00:04:12,265 --> 00:04:14,699
Don't tell my mom
I returned the gravy boat.
76
00:04:14,767 --> 00:04:17,235
I was gonna open with that.
All right.
77
00:04:20,239 --> 00:04:23,902
- Peanut, what do you say?
-Jamie, you look so beautiful.
78
00:04:23,976 --> 00:04:27,173
Get that hair offyour face
so the world can see how prettyyou are.
79
00:04:27,246 --> 00:04:28,372
Hello, Paul.
80
00:04:28,447 --> 00:04:32,406
I love this little girl.
This is my baby.
81
00:04:32,485 --> 00:04:36,285
This is my prize.
You been treating her okay, Pauly?
82
00:04:36,355 --> 00:04:37,754
The best care. You betcha.
83
00:04:37,823 --> 00:04:39,757
- You got a loose doorknob there.
- I do?
84
00:04:39,825 --> 00:04:41,588
Right there.
You got a screwdriver?
85
00:04:43,129 --> 00:04:46,929
- I don't know. Probably.
- How could you not have a screwdriver?
86
00:04:46,999 --> 00:04:50,332
I got a butter knife,
and we got a super, so--
87
00:04:52,638 --> 00:04:56,074
I just love everything
you've done to this place.
88
00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:58,269
Oh, is this the couch
you told us about?
89
00:04:58,344 --> 00:05:00,574
No, it's this one.
90
00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:02,841
Oh.
91
00:05:02,915 --> 00:05:05,008
Wouldn't you like it better
over here?
92
00:05:05,084 --> 00:05:08,520
No. That's why
we put it over here.
93
00:05:08,587 --> 00:05:10,077
Are you all right?
94
00:05:10,156 --> 00:05:13,819
I feel a little dizzy
from driving around the block.
95
00:05:13,893 --> 00:05:16,054
I offered to drop you off.
96
00:05:16,128 --> 00:05:19,325
You know I don't like
to be alone in this neighborhood.
97
00:05:19,398 --> 00:05:21,593
- Can I get us something to drink?
- Water.
98
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:24,363
- Splash ofJ &B?
-J ust a splash.
99
00:05:24,437 --> 00:05:26,496
- Double splash for me.
- Comin' up.
100
00:05:26,572 --> 00:05:28,005
Have a seat.
101
00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:30,440
You should see the spot I got.
Tell her.
102
00:05:30,509 --> 00:05:33,603
He found a very good spot
right by the curb.
103
00:05:33,679 --> 00:05:36,307
Peanut, come and look at this spot.
104
00:05:40,619 --> 00:05:42,883
Oh, wow. Good parking, Daddy.
105
00:05:42,955 --> 00:05:46,982
Jamie, don't you want to know how
things are at home, or don't you care?
106
00:05:47,059 --> 00:05:49,220
Oh, no, I do.
107
00:05:49,295 --> 00:05:52,355
The truth is,
nothing much is happening.
108
00:05:52,431 --> 00:05:56,527
Oh, except the Frosty Hut.
It's a crack house now.
109
00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:58,092
Are you kidding?
110
00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:01,037
Somebody should take those bastards out,
line 'em up and hang 'em.
111
00:06:01,107 --> 00:06:03,337
Publicly. On television.
112
00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:06,105
Gus, please, tell her
about the grill I bought you.
113
00:06:06,178 --> 00:06:08,112
Mom bought me a new grill.
114
00:06:10,783 --> 00:06:13,479
Oh, look.
She got my favorite p�te.
115
00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:17,113
- And Daddy's little cheeses.
- Such a shame we can't eat it.
116
00:06:17,189 --> 00:06:20,818
- Why not?
- Our cholesterol's through the roof.
117
00:06:20,893 --> 00:06:23,054
But that's nothing
foryou to worry about.
118
00:06:23,129 --> 00:06:27,691
We got major medical. Ofcourse, those
thieves don't cover what they used to.
119
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:30,429
- Oh, Gus, don't start.
- Who are you protecting?
120
00:06:30,503 --> 00:06:32,528
Are you best friends
with Blue Cross now?
121
00:06:33,606 --> 00:06:35,574
I'm gonna go help Paul
with the drinks.
122
00:06:35,641 --> 00:06:38,405
- Oh, can I help?
- No, thanks.
123
00:06:38,477 --> 00:06:41,139
What was she thinking
buying that couch?
124
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:47,378
- Looking for something, honey?
- Anything that won't kill my parents.
125
00:06:47,453 --> 00:06:50,980
And who says
you're not a good hostess?
126
00:06:51,056 --> 00:06:53,718
- My mother.
- Oh, no. What did she say?
127
00:06:53,793 --> 00:06:56,853
- Nothing.
- Well, I'm sure she didn't mean it.
128
00:06:56,929 --> 00:06:59,693
There was a chicken in here.
Who ate it? Did you eat it?
129
00:06:59,765 --> 00:07:01,699
- No, I did not eat it.
- Somebody ate it.
130
00:07:01,767 --> 00:07:04,793
Honey, I want you to stand there
for a second and just breathe.
131
00:07:04,870 --> 00:07:06,804
Will you stop making demands on me!
132
00:07:09,008 --> 00:07:11,340
Come here. Look into my eye.
133
00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:14,379
Look into my eye deep
and focus, okay?
134
00:07:14,447 --> 00:07:16,938
Listen to me.
This will pass.
135
00:07:17,016 --> 00:07:19,075
What are you saying?
You don't like my parents being here?
136
00:07:19,151 --> 00:07:22,018
No, I love them being here. I'm just
don't want you here at the same time.
137
00:07:23,255 --> 00:07:26,918
- Is there cholesterol in olives?
- No, it's perfectly safe.
138
00:07:26,992 --> 00:07:29,790
Unless, ofcourse, I decide
to smackyou in the head with this jar.
139
00:07:29,862 --> 00:07:31,989
- Thankyou foryour support.
- I support you, honey.
140
00:07:32,064 --> 00:07:34,362
But can I say to you as your friend
that your parents...
141
00:07:34,433 --> 00:07:36,560
are turning you
into a little bit ofa lunatic.
142
00:07:36,635 --> 00:07:38,967
- And what's your point?
- You're not gonna change them...
143
00:07:39,038 --> 00:07:41,063
so maybe you could just
deal with it a little better.
144
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:45,543
This from a man that goes into a fetal
position every time his mother calls.
145
00:07:50,015 --> 00:07:54,213
I don't believe that's true. It happens
to be a yoga relaxation exercise.
146
00:07:56,188 --> 00:07:59,351
Here we go.
Hope these are to your liking.
147
00:07:59,425 --> 00:08:02,917
Oh, look.
He curled the lemon twist.
148
00:08:02,995 --> 00:08:04,929
Well, I remembered
you enjoyed that last time.
149
00:08:04,997 --> 00:08:07,227
- Thankyou.
- That's a great color on you.
150
00:08:07,299 --> 00:08:10,666
You're a very thoughtful young man.
And you were worried about him.
151
00:08:10,736 --> 00:08:13,227
Not true.
I always liked Pauly.
152
00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:16,536
Especially compared to some ofthose
other prizes she brought home.
153
00:08:16,609 --> 00:08:20,875
What a parade! Oh, who was
the one who stole her shoes?
154
00:08:20,946 --> 00:08:22,538
Arnold. What a slug.
155
00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:27,283
- He was one ofthe better ones.
- Okay, can we stop this, please?
156
00:08:27,353 --> 00:08:29,344
And by the way,
he's a congressman now.
157
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:30,683
I rest my case.
158
00:08:30,756 --> 00:08:32,951
What do you got there, Gus?
Look at this.
159
00:08:33,025 --> 00:08:36,222
We brought you some fresh meat
from the shop.
160
00:08:36,295 --> 00:08:38,456
You sure you didn'tjust hit
a deer on the way in?
161
00:08:38,531 --> 00:08:40,465
Oh, Daddy,
you shouldn't have bothered.
162
00:08:40,533 --> 00:08:42,467
It's no bother.
What's a few steaks?
163
00:08:42,535 --> 00:08:45,595
- Did you forget the rib roast?
- I didn't forget the rib roast.
164
00:08:46,972 --> 00:08:49,338
This is really way too generous.
165
00:08:49,408 --> 00:08:51,603
We're gonna have to get
a meat locker.
166
00:08:51,677 --> 00:08:53,611
- When's your birthday?
- Oh, no, I--
167
00:08:53,679 --> 00:08:56,307
I'm just kidding you.
We'll cut it down.
168
00:08:56,382 --> 00:08:59,374
Well, gee, this is a beauty, Gus.
What would this be, filet mignon?
169
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:02,386
Please! The most overrated
cut in the industry.
170
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,820
For flavor,
you always want a rib steak.
171
00:09:04,890 --> 00:09:08,326
That's this area here, you know?
And for tenderness, look to your flanks.
172
00:09:08,394 --> 00:09:10,487
- Hey, watch it.
- Daddy, leave his flanks alone.
173
00:09:10,563 --> 00:09:13,862
You should see my peanut
wield this cleaver.
174
00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,264
Sharpen 'em up.
175
00:09:16,502 --> 00:09:19,198
You know, sweetie, these
single servings are convenient...
176
00:09:19,271 --> 00:09:21,239
but they're much too expensive.
177
00:09:21,307 --> 00:09:24,572
That's how they get you. They're
counting on people who don't think.
178
00:09:25,878 --> 00:09:28,972
Oh, you know, honey, ifyou
would keep your sharp knives...
179
00:09:29,048 --> 00:09:30,982
right here next to your
everyday cutlery...
180
00:09:31,050 --> 00:09:33,610
you wouldn't have to spend so much time
wandering around the kitchen.
181
00:09:33,686 --> 00:09:35,620
They'll be dead in five years.
182
00:09:40,793 --> 00:09:45,321
You wanna watch those paws.
Mommy's got a knife and she's cranky.
183
00:09:45,397 --> 00:09:48,457
Look at the arm on her.
She'd have made a hell ofa butcher.
184
00:09:48,534 --> 00:09:51,002
- Stop criticizing her.
- What did I say now?
185
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:53,630
- She's very fulfilled in her career.
- What did I say?
186
00:09:53,706 --> 00:09:56,368
- You said she should be a butcher.
- What's wrong with being a butcher?
187
00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:59,843
- She doesn't want to be a butcher.
- Who said she did?
188
00:09:59,912 --> 00:10:02,710
I'm the one that broke my back
putting her through Yale.
189
00:10:02,781 --> 00:10:04,976
What did I think?
She's gonna get a BA in meat?
190
00:10:05,050 --> 00:10:08,611
I'm proud of her. You're the one
who's worried about her having kids?
191
00:10:08,687 --> 00:10:11,451
She can have both.
I just want her to be happy.
192
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,253
- I am happy.
- Then we're happy.
193
00:10:14,326 --> 00:10:17,523
It's after 1 :00 already.
You know, you really better get goin'.
194
00:10:17,596 --> 00:10:20,759
I don't mean to push you out, but
there might be a line at the box office.
195
00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:23,597
- Oh, we have our tickets.
- You don't want to miss the overture--
196
00:10:23,669 --> 00:10:25,364
It's not a musical.
197
00:10:25,437 --> 00:10:28,463
- Traffic?
- What are you talking about?
198
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,531
The show doesn't start until 8:00.
199
00:10:33,412 --> 00:10:36,609
- You're not going to the matinee?
- No.
200
00:10:36,682 --> 00:10:38,809
We're going to the evening show.
201
00:10:38,884 --> 00:10:41,648
This way, we can spend
the whole day with you.
202
00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,680
No... kidding? Really?
Is that-- Good. That's good.
203
00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:50,126
That's really good.
That's good.
204
00:10:58,904 --> 00:11:02,635
Lisa, I'm begging you.
Please come over now.
205
00:11:02,708 --> 00:11:05,336
You know, I don't care
if it awakens your eating disorder.
206
00:11:05,411 --> 00:11:07,504
I can't do this alone.
207
00:11:08,647 --> 00:11:11,343
No, he's no help.
He likes them.
208
00:11:12,851 --> 00:11:16,014
Lisa, I'll give you money.
209
00:11:16,088 --> 00:11:19,285
No, seriously.
I have my checkbook in my hand.
210
00:11:19,358 --> 00:11:23,158
Fine. I'll send Paul
to the cash machine. Please.
211
00:11:23,228 --> 00:11:26,527
Yes. All right, hurry, hurry.
Lisa, I love you, I love you.
212
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:30,864
Yes, cab fare is included.
Please. Godspeed.
213
00:11:30,936 --> 00:11:33,928
Thank God.
Now they can torture her.
214
00:11:34,006 --> 00:11:35,940
I'm very happy foryou.
Hate to bring you down.
215
00:11:36,008 --> 00:11:38,169
Your father tells me
we got a slow drain.
216
00:11:38,243 --> 00:11:40,177
No, no, no.
That's fabulous.
217
00:11:40,245 --> 00:11:42,338
Fixing that sink
could keep him busy for hours.
218
00:11:42,414 --> 00:11:45,474
Mom will be busy torturing Lisa.
I'm happy.
219
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:48,952
This is good. So now you're
in the open hostility phase.
220
00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,455
- What are you talking about?
- Every time they come, you do this.
221
00:11:51,523 --> 00:11:53,753
You start off, you're happy,
then you get manic...
222
00:11:53,826 --> 00:11:57,694
then you have that repressed hostility,
and now the open hostility.
223
00:11:59,331 --> 00:12:03,062
You see, honey, you had your
hair clog right here in this section.
224
00:12:03,135 --> 00:12:06,229
All I had to do was remove
the trap, clean it out...
225
00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:08,239
reassemble the pipe, and bingo.
226
00:12:08,307 --> 00:12:10,434
He's very handy, your father.
Ten minutes it took him.
227
00:12:10,509 --> 00:12:13,706
Oh, that's nothing. Would've taken me
five, but I had to use a butter knife.
228
00:12:13,779 --> 00:12:15,770
Let me tell you something.
You know what you need?
229
00:12:15,848 --> 00:12:17,907
A good wrench
and a set ofscrewdrivers.
230
00:12:17,983 --> 00:12:20,178
- I always wanted to get a lathe.
- Why?
231
00:12:20,252 --> 00:12:22,777
- Daddy, you're dripping.
- Take it from me, Pauly.
232
00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:25,323
You want to cut your teeth
on a simple starter set.
233
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:28,450
- You want a lathe, you gotta earn it.
- I think I could handle it.
234
00:12:28,527 --> 00:12:31,985
No, Pauly, trust me.
A lathe is way too much tool foryou.
235
00:12:33,298 --> 00:12:36,358
Well, I gotta
disagree with you, Gus.
236
00:12:36,435 --> 00:12:38,369
I don't like to toot my own horn...
237
00:12:38,437 --> 00:12:41,531
but in wood shop,
just so happens I got a B-plus.
238
00:12:41,607 --> 00:12:44,201
It's okay. You don't
have to prove yourselfto me.
239
00:12:44,276 --> 00:12:46,210
- Oh, Daddy, you're dripping!
- Give me this.
240
00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:49,338
Why didn't you say something?
Would you look at that piece ofcrap!
241
00:12:49,414 --> 00:12:52,406
None ofthis would've happened
ifyou kids had decent pipes.
242
00:12:52,484 --> 00:12:55,419
I nstead they had to cut corners.
They used that nickel-plated junk.
243
00:12:55,487 --> 00:12:58,547
I'm telling you, there's no pride
in workmanship in this country.
244
00:12:58,624 --> 00:13:01,218
Daddy, please don't
criticize our pipes.
245
00:13:01,293 --> 00:13:04,456
- You know who's good at plumbing?
- Who?
246
00:13:04,530 --> 00:13:07,966
- Canadians.
- I never knew that.
247
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,967
- Common knowledge.
- Really?
248
00:13:10,035 --> 00:13:13,527
That's what they're known for.
Bacon, hockey and pipes.
249
00:13:15,207 --> 00:13:17,971
I guess you never see a clog
in Montreal, huh?
250
00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:20,841
Hey, did I tell you about the clog
Mom and I had at the house?
251
00:13:20,913 --> 00:13:24,508
- Yeah. Yes, you did.
- Sweetie, tell him about our big clog.
252
00:13:24,583 --> 00:13:28,110
- We had a big clog.
- This is what we heard.
253
00:13:28,187 --> 00:13:29,677
It's Lisa!
254
00:13:32,491 --> 00:13:34,755
- They're talking about the clog.
- Show me the cash.
255
00:13:34,827 --> 00:13:36,761
- What tookyou so long?
- I had to stop at every food cart...
256
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,763
between here and my place.
257
00:13:38,831 --> 00:13:41,800
Hi, sweet pea.
You're all skin and bones.
258
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:44,597
Oh, baby!
259
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:47,104
Oh, I made you brownies.
Double fudge.
260
00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:49,640
- Mmm, thanks.
- Are you gonna finish that pretzel?
261
00:13:49,708 --> 00:13:51,642
Hey, take it.
I had three on the way over.
262
00:13:51,710 --> 00:13:54,372
Ooh, you don't need that salt.
263
00:13:54,446 --> 00:13:59,008
Mom, don't treat him like a baby. He is
old enough to make his own food choices.
264
00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:01,609
Isn't it nice to have
the whole family together like this?
265
00:14:01,687 --> 00:14:05,248
I don't want to hog all of Mom and
Dad's time, Lisa. They're all yours.
266
00:14:05,324 --> 00:14:07,258
- Where are you going?
- I'm gonna make some popcorn.
267
00:14:07,326 --> 00:14:10,727
- Buttered.
- Start earning your money.
268
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,933
Honey, I love your outfit.
269
00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:20,972
But wouldn't it look a little nicer
ifyou just filled it out a little bit?
270
00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:25,237
She's so skinny. You don't have
that bulimia thing again, do you?
271
00:14:25,310 --> 00:14:28,074
No. And if I did,
which I don't...
272
00:14:28,146 --> 00:14:30,080
I wouldn't tell you
because I wouldn't realize it.
273
00:14:30,148 --> 00:14:32,241
That's how it works.
274
00:14:34,086 --> 00:14:37,021
How's thejob hunting going?
I mean, a smart girl like you...
275
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:40,684
with three years ofcollege shouldn't
have any trouble finding a job.
276
00:14:40,759 --> 00:14:44,320
Well, considering it's a recession,
my unemployment runs out in two weeks...
277
00:14:44,396 --> 00:14:47,888
and I have no skills,
I think it's going pretty well.
278
00:14:47,966 --> 00:14:51,732
Remember, you can always
come back home.
279
00:14:53,005 --> 00:14:54,597
I'd rather die.
280
00:15:00,679 --> 00:15:04,137
Honey? Honey, that's really
quite enough salt.
281
00:15:04,216 --> 00:15:07,947
Your father's blood pressure
is going up. He's in the other room.
282
00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:10,113
- How's Lisa doing?
- Not bad.
283
00:15:10,188 --> 00:15:12,588
She's demolishing the brownies
and your parents at the same time.
284
00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:15,320
- Really?
- I never thought I'd say this...
285
00:15:15,394 --> 00:15:17,862
but you could actually
learn something from her.
286
00:15:17,930 --> 00:15:19,795
She's standing up to them.
287
00:15:19,865 --> 00:15:21,799
Oh, like I can't!
288
00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:24,563
No, you could.
289
00:15:24,636 --> 00:15:27,799
But I thinkyou enjoy letting your
parents turn you into a walking tic.
290
00:15:27,873 --> 00:15:30,433
Like your family's
the picture of mental health.
291
00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:34,036
No, but we don't go around pretending
that we like each other all the time.
292
00:15:34,112 --> 00:15:38,879
Look who's talking, Mr. Suck-Up.
''May I curl your lemon twist?''
293
00:15:41,353 --> 00:15:44,117
So what, I'm in trouble
for being nice to your parents?
294
00:15:44,189 --> 00:15:47,750
- It's not exactly a picnic for me.
- Oh, you've been having a great time.
295
00:15:47,826 --> 00:15:50,727
Oh, yeah, great time. Your father
makes fun of my doorknob...
296
00:15:50,796 --> 00:15:53,959
and then he casts aspersions
on my manhood.
297
00:15:54,032 --> 00:15:55,363
Your manhood?
298
00:15:55,434 --> 00:15:58,835
Yeah. You know, I happen to think
I could handle a lathe.
299
00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:03,272
- I doubt it.
- Oh, you're pleasant.
300
00:16:03,342 --> 00:16:07,244
Right. I'm just awful. You should've
married that girl with the nosejob.
301
00:16:08,380 --> 00:16:12,874
You're so cruel.
The woman had a deviated septum.
302
00:16:13,919 --> 00:16:15,819
They all do.
303
00:16:17,556 --> 00:16:19,956
This is perfect.
This happens every time.
304
00:16:20,025 --> 00:16:22,186
They push you to the brink,
and then what do you do?
305
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:24,785
- You take it out on me.
- I'm not taking it out on you.
306
00:16:24,863 --> 00:16:28,424
So how come they're out there, and I'm
in here being picked on by the peanut?
307
00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:31,697
- You know what? Don't call me that.
- What's wrong with ''peanut''?
308
00:16:31,770 --> 00:16:35,501
Nothing, ifyou have a hat and a cane
and live on the side ofa jar.
309
00:16:37,142 --> 00:16:39,872
- I hate that name.
- Well, then tell them that.
310
00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:42,243
- I would love to tell them that.
- Well, you should.
311
00:16:43,615 --> 00:16:46,311
- I should just go tell them that.
- I'm agreeing.
312
00:16:46,385 --> 00:16:48,683
J ust nicely, without twitching.
313
00:16:49,988 --> 00:16:52,684
So, is this Steven a nice boy?
314
00:16:52,758 --> 00:16:57,593
Yes, but he's not a boy.
He's a man. A married man.
315
00:16:58,697 --> 00:17:00,460
Where did we go wrong with her?
316
00:17:00,532 --> 00:17:04,366
Mom, Daddy, I have
something to say to you.
317
00:17:05,537 --> 00:17:08,631
- Didn't that used to be over there?
- Wasn't I right?
318
00:17:08,707 --> 00:17:10,607
Use it.
319
00:17:10,675 --> 00:17:13,735
Mom, Daddy,
I have something to say to you.
320
00:17:13,812 --> 00:17:16,337
- She's pregnant!
- Oh, that's why she's so moody.
321
00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:19,543
No, no, no.
I'm neither pregnant nor moody.
322
00:17:19,618 --> 00:17:22,587
- You know I love you.
- Oh, we love you too, honey.
323
00:17:22,654 --> 00:17:25,646
Thankyou.
I'm not a baby anymore--
324
00:17:25,724 --> 00:17:30,218
But you were a beautiful baby. Had a
full head of hair the dayyou were born.
325
00:17:30,295 --> 00:17:34,197
Not like our Lisa.
She was our little cue ball.
326
00:17:34,266 --> 00:17:36,700
I think I'll start going
to therapy three times a week.
327
00:17:36,768 --> 00:17:39,430
- You two are so cute together.
- They always were.
328
00:17:39,504 --> 00:17:42,803
Oh, do you remember
the song they used to do?
329
00:17:42,874 --> 00:17:45,809
Oh, these girls one Christmas
saw on TV a movie.
330
00:17:45,877 --> 00:17:48,539
And while I'm still sleeping,
they make up this whole routine.
331
00:17:48,613 --> 00:17:52,071
It's their present to me. It's the best
present I ever had in my life.
332
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,141
- What was the song?
- It's not important.
333
00:17:54,219 --> 00:17:58,178
Ofcourse it is.
Do you want to hear the song, Paul?
334
00:17:58,256 --> 00:17:59,985
- Well, listen--
- No!
335
00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:02,788
What I was trying to say
is that we're adults now.
336
00:18:02,861 --> 00:18:06,763
You're right. You're right.
I guess we can never get the past back.
337
00:18:06,832 --> 00:18:09,062
- Exactly.
- It's just that sometimes...
338
00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:13,628
when we're together like this,
I miss the way we used to be.
339
00:18:13,705 --> 00:18:14,694
Oh, Gus.
340
00:18:14,773 --> 00:18:18,231
Who knows how many visits
like this we'll have together.
341
00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:21,802
I just wish we had
a video camera back then.
342
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,644
I guess I'll never hear
that song again.
343
00:18:26,685 --> 00:18:30,177
Sisters, sisters
344
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:33,656
There were never
such devotedsisters
345
00:18:33,725 --> 00:18:37,320
Neverhadto have a chaperone
No, sir
346
00:18:37,395 --> 00:18:40,853
I'm here to keep my eye on her
347
00:18:40,932 --> 00:18:44,390
Caring, sharing
348
00:18:44,469 --> 00:18:47,768
Every little thing
that we are wearing
349
00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:51,206
When a certaingentleman
arrivedfrom Rome
350
00:18:51,276 --> 00:18:54,609
She wore the dress
andIstayhome
351
00:18:54,679 --> 00:18:57,978
Lordhelp the mister
352
00:18:58,049 --> 00:19:01,382
Who comes between me andmysister
353
00:19:01,453 --> 00:19:04,980
AndLordhelp thesister
354
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:09,425
Who comes between me andmyman
355
00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:21,664
- That was wonderful!
- Beautiful. It really took me back.
356
00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,470
- Yeah, it was just amazing, peanut.
- Shut up.
357
00:19:38,089 --> 00:19:41,422
- Is it safe?
- Almost.
358
00:19:41,493 --> 00:19:45,122
All that's left is this stabbing
pain behind my right eye.
359
00:19:45,997 --> 00:19:48,192
Did your mother move our bed?
360
00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:49,995
Only a few inches.
361
00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:52,559
What happened
to that picture of my mom?
362
00:19:52,637 --> 00:19:55,105
It's so strange.
I'm 30 years old.
363
00:19:55,173 --> 00:19:58,301
I'm married. I have a home.
I have a job.
364
00:19:58,376 --> 00:20:00,844
How come my parents
can still push all my buttons?
365
00:20:00,912 --> 00:20:03,073
Oh, well, that's easy.
366
00:20:04,382 --> 00:20:06,316
They installed them.
367
00:20:08,286 --> 00:20:10,982
- You were really good today.
- I was a saint.
368
00:20:11,056 --> 00:20:13,991
Really. You're the best
husband in the whole world.
369
00:20:14,059 --> 00:20:15,651
- You're not kidding.
- I owe you my life.
370
00:20:15,727 --> 00:20:17,888
And 300 clams
I had to payyour sister.
371
00:20:17,963 --> 00:20:19,055
I'm good for it.
372
00:20:21,233 --> 00:20:24,430
You know, the only punishment cruel
and unusual enough foryour parents...
373
00:20:24,502 --> 00:20:27,335
would be to spend the weekend
with my parents.
374
00:20:27,405 --> 00:20:29,339
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
375
00:20:29,407 --> 00:20:33,901
Hello? Were you here today?
Did you see what went on?
376
00:20:33,979 --> 00:20:37,244
I know. But every time they leave,
I kind of miss them.
377
00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:41,245
Oh, God.
378
00:20:43,288 --> 00:20:47,247
If I askyou something,
will you answer me honestly?
379
00:20:47,325 --> 00:20:48,986
Ofcourse.
380
00:20:50,895 --> 00:20:53,363
Don't you think I sing
better than Lisa?
381
00:20:56,101 --> 00:20:57,932
Excuse me?
382
00:20:58,003 --> 00:21:01,530
I n the act. Maybe it's just me,
but I thought she was flat.
383
00:21:01,580 --> 00:21:06,130
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