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1
00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:06,268
Anyway, I do love women
very much.
2
00:00:06,335 --> 00:00:09,604
One thing I love about
women is that they, um...
3
00:00:09,672 --> 00:00:10,505
You have to do this when
you're talking about
4
00:00:10,573 --> 00:00:11,840
how much you love them.
5
00:00:11,908 --> 00:00:13,341
Just...
6
00:00:13,409 --> 00:00:15,410
I just love them.
7
00:00:15,478 --> 00:00:17,145
Mmm!
8
00:00:17,213 --> 00:00:19,581
Love women.
9
00:00:19,649 --> 00:00:21,316
Mm-hmm-hmm
10
00:00:21,384 --> 00:00:23,251
Anyway, I do, I...
11
00:00:23,319 --> 00:00:24,853
I...
12
00:00:24,921 --> 00:00:26,855
I...
13
00:00:26,923 --> 00:00:29,391
I love women because...
14
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:31,626
I mean, women are
the same as men in some ways
15
00:00:31,694 --> 00:00:34,062
but they're better at...
16
00:00:34,130 --> 00:00:36,765
rejecting us
than we are, you know?
17
00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:38,633
They have the skills,
18
00:00:38,701 --> 00:00:42,170
you know, to reject men in a way
19
00:00:42,238 --> 00:00:44,139
that we can then not kill them.
20
00:00:44,207 --> 00:00:45,340
That's basically how that works.
21
00:00:45,408 --> 00:00:46,708
But, uh...
22
00:00:46,776 --> 00:00:49,311
like I saw this couple
once on a date, they're walking,
23
00:00:49,378 --> 00:00:50,612
and then they stop--
24
00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:52,681
The guy stopped her to talk in
the middle of--
25
00:00:52,748 --> 00:00:53,748
Like, "Hey."
26
00:00:53,816 --> 00:00:55,517
And she's like,
"Oh, shit."
27
00:00:55,585 --> 00:00:57,119
So he goes to kiss her
28
00:00:57,186 --> 00:00:58,520
and she does an amazing thing
that women
29
00:00:58,588 --> 00:01:00,055
somehow learn how to do.
30
00:01:00,123 --> 00:01:02,224
She hugged him very warmly,
31
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:04,025
and men think
that this is--
32
00:01:04,093 --> 00:01:07,729
this is affection, but what this
is is a boxing maneuver,
33
00:01:07,797 --> 00:01:08,864
because your whole--
34
00:01:08,931 --> 00:01:10,665
"Don't kiss me,
you piece of shit."
35
00:01:10,733 --> 00:01:13,235
And he's trying to get
distance and...
36
00:01:13,302 --> 00:01:15,737
It's not gonna happen.
37
00:01:15,805 --> 00:01:18,039
Thanks a lot, you guys,
you've been very nice.
38
00:01:18,107 --> 00:01:19,341
Good night!
39
00:01:25,748 --> 00:01:27,816
Another hand
for Louie C.K.!
40
00:01:28,951 --> 00:01:33,054
And the Grambling Tigers
Marching Band...
41
00:01:33,122 --> 00:01:35,190
who you can't see unless
you have special glasses.
42
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,660
I'll talk to him,
but he's drunk.
43
00:01:41,197 --> 00:01:41,863
Hey.
Hey.
44
00:01:41,931 --> 00:01:42,931
Good set.
45
00:01:42,999 --> 00:01:45,634
Thank you, thank you.
Yeah.
46
00:01:45,701 --> 00:01:47,602
Vanessa.
47
00:01:47,670 --> 00:01:49,137
It's okay.
Oh-- no, I'm sorry.
48
00:01:49,205 --> 00:01:50,739
I've only been working
here for ten years.
49
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,741
It's cool.
I'm sorry.
50
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,744
I'm just kidding,
I just started last week.
51
00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:58,113
You got me.
52
00:01:58,181 --> 00:02:00,081
Seriously, I like watching you,
53
00:02:00,149 --> 00:02:01,683
and I do not like comedy.
54
00:02:01,751 --> 00:02:02,884
You don't?
55
00:02:02,952 --> 00:02:04,319
No, I hate it.
56
00:02:04,387 --> 00:02:06,354
I just get nervous
for the guy, you know?
57
00:02:06,422 --> 00:02:08,523
Some of us are girls up there.
58
00:02:08,591 --> 00:02:10,425
Yeah, same thing.
59
00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:11,826
Yeah, I don't like it.
Don't like comedy?
60
00:02:11,894 --> 00:02:13,295
No, I hate comedy, yeah.
61
00:02:13,362 --> 00:02:15,497
This is a weird job
for you, then.
62
00:02:15,565 --> 00:02:17,966
Well, in this economy,
no job is weird.
63
00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,501
I-- I guess so.
Yeah.
64
00:02:22,338 --> 00:02:24,372
Married or living together?
65
00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:25,173
Living together.
66
00:02:25,241 --> 00:02:26,408
Nice.
Doing it?
67
00:02:28,611 --> 00:02:29,678
Really, though, I--
68
00:02:29,745 --> 00:02:30,979
I like watching you up there.
69
00:02:31,047 --> 00:02:32,380
Thank you.
Yeah.
70
00:02:36,786 --> 00:02:38,486
Um...
71
00:02:38,554 --> 00:02:40,355
Hey, what are you--
what are you doing later?
72
00:02:42,525 --> 00:02:44,726
What?
73
00:02:44,794 --> 00:02:47,629
I get off in an hour,
you want to hang out?
74
00:02:47,697 --> 00:02:49,231
You--
75
00:02:49,298 --> 00:02:51,333
Are you scared that
I'm asking you out?
76
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:53,168
'Cause I am.
77
00:02:53,236 --> 00:02:54,369
You're cute, you're funny.
78
00:02:54,437 --> 00:02:55,503
I am both of those,
79
00:02:55,571 --> 00:02:58,707
plus like...
seven other things.
80
00:02:58,774 --> 00:03:00,108
Seven?
Yeah.
81
00:03:00,176 --> 00:03:01,876
Wow.
Come on.
82
00:03:01,944 --> 00:03:03,945
Come out with me, don't say no.
83
00:03:04,013 --> 00:03:04,846
No is stupid.
84
00:03:04,914 --> 00:03:06,748
No is for queers.
85
00:03:08,484 --> 00:03:10,252
Well, you know,
the thing is that I'm--
86
00:03:10,319 --> 00:03:13,221
I think I'm just tired.
87
00:03:13,289 --> 00:03:14,589
Oh, my God.
88
00:03:14,657 --> 00:03:16,091
Are you gonna be okay?
89
00:03:16,158 --> 00:03:17,726
You should have said
something before, man.
90
00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:18,953
I didn't know you were tired.
91
00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:22,964
You-- you better go
and get a nappy then.
92
00:03:29,405 --> 00:03:30,538
I'm stupid, I had--
93
00:03:30,606 --> 00:03:32,841
I was-- I was dropped on
my head as a child.
94
00:03:35,611 --> 00:03:37,078
Oh my God.
95
00:03:37,146 --> 00:03:38,647
It's brutal out here.
96
00:03:38,714 --> 00:03:39,514
God.
97
00:03:39,582 --> 00:03:40,715
Bro, bro, bro.
98
00:03:40,783 --> 00:03:42,484
Behind you, behind you,
behind you, bro.
99
00:03:43,819 --> 00:03:46,154
Oh, come on.
100
00:03:46,222 --> 00:03:47,422
Oh, God!
101
00:03:49,058 --> 00:03:51,493
I can't take this shit
out here anymore, man.
102
00:03:52,595 --> 00:03:54,562
Mmm.
103
00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:57,198
Bro... we need to
lose some weight.
104
00:03:58,868 --> 00:04:00,035
Don't look at me like that.
105
00:04:00,102 --> 00:04:01,503
We need to lose some weight.
106
00:04:03,172 --> 00:04:04,472
I-- I know.
107
00:04:05,841 --> 00:04:07,976
Well, you want to try?
108
00:04:08,044 --> 00:04:09,711
Yeah.
109
00:04:09,779 --> 00:04:10,779
Yeah, I do.
110
00:04:14,050 --> 00:04:15,317
All right, all right.
111
00:04:15,384 --> 00:04:16,184
This is what we're gonna do.
112
00:04:16,252 --> 00:04:17,619
Tomorrow, we hit the gym.
113
00:04:17,687 --> 00:04:19,587
We eat kale, right?
114
00:04:19,655 --> 00:04:21,189
Okay.
115
00:04:21,257 --> 00:04:24,559
Today, we gotta
say goodbye to all that.
116
00:04:24,627 --> 00:04:26,795
Yeah, okay.
117
00:04:30,499 --> 00:04:32,367
So bang-bang, right?
118
00:04:32,435 --> 00:04:33,668
Bang-bang now?
119
00:04:33,736 --> 00:04:35,070
Yeah, this is our last one.
120
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,007
All right,
bang-bang what?
121
00:04:39,075 --> 00:04:40,175
Mexican-Italian.
122
00:04:42,445 --> 00:04:43,845
All right,
sushi-pizza?
123
00:04:45,748 --> 00:04:47,015
Barbecue-IHOP?
124
00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,383
Oh, God.
125
00:04:48,451 --> 00:04:49,317
Yeah.
126
00:04:50,753 --> 00:04:52,020
Okay, how about--
127
00:04:52,088 --> 00:04:54,356
how about
Indian-diner?
128
00:04:54,423 --> 00:04:55,457
Done.
129
00:04:55,524 --> 00:04:56,764
All right, all right, let's go.
130
00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:57,992
Bang-bang?
Bang-bang.
131
00:05:14,510 --> 00:05:15,510
Oh, okay.
132
00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:29,290
The puffy bread.
133
00:05:29,358 --> 00:05:30,425
Oh!
134
00:05:42,805 --> 00:05:44,126
Make sandwiches
out of everything.
135
00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,320
Thank you.
136
00:06:04,846 --> 00:06:14,665
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
137
00:06:16,205 --> 00:06:18,440
And here is your pie.
138
00:06:18,507 --> 00:06:20,108
Can I get anything
else for you guys?
139
00:06:20,176 --> 00:06:22,444
No, I think we're good.
No, thank you.
140
00:06:22,511 --> 00:06:25,346
Excuse me, are you a comedian?
141
00:06:25,414 --> 00:06:27,048
Yeah, yeah.
142
00:06:27,116 --> 00:06:28,149
I thought so.
143
00:06:28,217 --> 00:06:30,452
You're really funny.
Oh, thank you.
144
00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,320
Thanks a lot.
145
00:06:32,388 --> 00:06:33,588
You guys celebrating something?
146
00:06:33,622 --> 00:06:36,024
It looks like you're having
a special occasion.
147
00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,192
No, no, we're just--
148
00:06:37,259 --> 00:06:38,793
We're doing
a bang-bang.
149
00:06:38,861 --> 00:06:39,994
What's a bang-bang?
150
00:06:40,062 --> 00:06:41,429
No, it's not--
151
00:06:41,497 --> 00:06:43,998
That's where we go have
a whole meal at one place
152
00:06:44,066 --> 00:06:45,400
and then go right to
another place
153
00:06:45,468 --> 00:06:46,468
and have another one.
154
00:06:46,535 --> 00:06:48,102
Bang-bang.
155
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:50,271
It's, uh-- just ate a ton
of food at this
156
00:06:50,339 --> 00:06:52,674
Indian place, now this.
157
00:06:52,741 --> 00:06:53,808
Bang-bang.
158
00:06:56,212 --> 00:06:57,145
Bang-bang.
159
00:06:57,213 --> 00:06:58,780
Well, um...
160
00:06:58,848 --> 00:06:59,814
enjoy your meal, guys.
161
00:07:06,388 --> 00:07:07,722
Why would you--
what's wrong with you?
162
00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:10,291
Why would you tell her that?
163
00:07:10,359 --> 00:07:11,826
'Cause that's what we're doing.
164
00:07:11,894 --> 00:07:12,994
That's the truth.
165
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,901
That was brutal.
166
00:07:22,671 --> 00:07:25,540
So the gym tomorrow?
167
00:07:25,608 --> 00:07:27,308
You know what?
I got a...
168
00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:29,210
I got a whole bunch of...
169
00:07:29,278 --> 00:07:30,912
I got stuff to do,
I don't think it's a good--
170
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:32,948
It's not a good day.
Cool.
171
00:07:48,311 --> 00:07:49,645
I wouldn't
recommend the sangria,
172
00:07:49,712 --> 00:07:51,513
only because it's so delicious,
173
00:07:51,581 --> 00:07:53,115
you'll probably end up
having lots of
174
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:54,983
sex with each other.
175
00:07:55,051 --> 00:07:57,986
There'll be some
scissor fest action here.
176
00:07:58,054 --> 00:07:59,254
Oh, nice.
177
00:07:59,322 --> 00:08:02,458
Some sword-dong fighting
and this action.
178
00:08:02,525 --> 00:08:04,193
It's an intimidating city,
179
00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,194
'cause I feel like
everybody here
180
00:08:05,261 --> 00:08:06,995
is better dressed than I am.
181
00:08:07,063 --> 00:08:08,263
Like every time I leave
the house,
182
00:08:08,331 --> 00:08:10,833
it's picture day
and nobody said anything to me,
183
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,734
which is-- is painful,
184
00:08:12,802 --> 00:08:14,336
because when I was
in third grade,
185
00:08:14,404 --> 00:08:15,437
I missed picture day
186
00:08:15,505 --> 00:08:17,339
because my single dad
forgot about it.
187
00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:18,941
Hey, is your-- is your
name really Sunshine?
188
00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:20,108
What?
189
00:08:21,678 --> 00:08:24,004
I was just wondering--
Are you asking me my name?
190
00:08:24,881 --> 00:08:26,448
What's your name?
191
00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:32,654
Hey.
Hey.
192
00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:34,456
You on next?
Yeah.
193
00:08:34,524 --> 00:08:35,691
If I were you,
I would stay away from
194
00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,125
that left front table.
195
00:08:37,193 --> 00:08:38,560
Very belligerent, dangerous,
196
00:08:38,628 --> 00:08:40,863
perhaps criminally,
type of guys.
197
00:08:40,930 --> 00:08:43,599
Really?
Yeah.
198
00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:45,634
Well, thank you, I appreciate that.
Sure.
199
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:46,969
You want to go out with me?
200
00:08:49,439 --> 00:08:50,506
No.
201
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,673
Cool.
202
00:08:51,741 --> 00:08:53,642
Just being a little persistent,
203
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:55,611
'cause I'm into you.
204
00:08:55,678 --> 00:08:57,913
I'm that kind of chick.
205
00:08:57,981 --> 00:08:58,914
- That's my Brando.
- Excuse me?
206
00:08:58,982 --> 00:08:59,882
It was good, right?
Excuse me?
207
00:08:59,949 --> 00:09:00,883
Yeah.
208
00:09:00,950 --> 00:09:01,984
We've been waiting
for our check.
209
00:09:02,051 --> 00:09:03,318
Oh, I'm not your waitress,
210
00:09:03,386 --> 00:09:05,266
but let's go find her
and kick her ass, come on.
211
00:09:06,389 --> 00:09:07,322
Yuck.
212
00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:17,525
Hey, buddy, what's going on?
What's up?
213
00:09:18,968 --> 00:09:21,003
You going on?
Yeah, I'm after Greer Barnes.
214
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,272
Greer Barnes.
215
00:09:23,339 --> 00:09:24,673
Greer Barnes.
216
00:09:24,741 --> 00:09:26,341
Let me tell you
something about Greer.
217
00:09:26,409 --> 00:09:27,409
I can't follow that dude.
218
00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:28,777
Good luck, all right?
219
00:09:28,845 --> 00:09:30,846
Hey.
Hey, Vanessa!
220
00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:31,874
What's happening, honey?
221
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:34,516
Um, I just quit.
222
00:09:34,584 --> 00:09:36,318
You did, seriously?
Yeah.
223
00:09:36,386 --> 00:09:38,153
Oh, wow, what happened?
224
00:09:38,221 --> 00:09:40,222
Nothing, I just
got a better job, so...
225
00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:41,523
Where?
226
00:09:41,591 --> 00:09:43,492
This part-time
legal office.
227
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:44,927
Yeah, I was--
I was part-time,
228
00:09:44,994 --> 00:09:47,029
but now they made me
full-time, so...
229
00:09:47,096 --> 00:09:48,163
Wow, that's great.
230
00:09:48,231 --> 00:09:49,565
Hey, shit, we'll miss you.
231
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:50,753
Oh, I'll miss you too, Dave.
232
00:09:50,767 --> 00:09:52,047
Good luck, sweetie.
Thanks, babe.
233
00:09:52,969 --> 00:09:53,902
See you, man.
234
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,272
Hey.
Hey.
235
00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:59,074
That's great about
the job, good for you.
236
00:09:59,142 --> 00:10:01,510
Do you like hockey?
237
00:10:01,578 --> 00:10:03,278
What?
238
00:10:03,346 --> 00:10:04,513
It's okay.
239
00:10:04,581 --> 00:10:06,048
It's okay, I'm not
asking you out again.
240
00:10:06,115 --> 00:10:08,350
I know that's what
that felt like.
241
00:10:08,418 --> 00:10:10,419
I'm-- this is moving.
Okay.
242
00:10:10,486 --> 00:10:12,921
This is going down into my pocket.
Okay.
243
00:10:12,989 --> 00:10:14,122
All right.
244
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:15,724
No problem, we're all relaxed.
245
00:10:15,792 --> 00:10:18,126
Uh-huh.
246
00:10:18,194 --> 00:10:19,761
It's a pair of tickets.
247
00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:20,963
Behind the net.
248
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:23,732
Face value, a lot.
249
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,534
The Rangers-Bruins game
on Wednesday.
250
00:10:25,602 --> 00:10:27,302
It's the playoffs.
It's the playoffs.
251
00:10:27,370 --> 00:10:29,538
I want to kill myself,
I can't go.
252
00:10:29,606 --> 00:10:30,639
But I can't go.
253
00:10:30,707 --> 00:10:32,374
So, um...
254
00:10:32,442 --> 00:10:33,842
What are you gonna--
Here.
255
00:10:33,910 --> 00:10:35,377
You want 'em?
256
00:10:35,445 --> 00:10:36,511
You're giving--
257
00:10:36,579 --> 00:10:39,081
You want to give me those?
258
00:10:39,148 --> 00:10:40,983
You can sell those for
a lot of money.
259
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:44,086
Yeah, I thought
about it, but, um...
260
00:10:44,153 --> 00:10:46,088
Why...
261
00:10:46,155 --> 00:10:49,992
That's like handing me
1,200 amazing dollars.
262
00:10:50,059 --> 00:10:52,628
Would you like 1,200 amazing dollars?
Of fun and...
263
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,664
Why would you--
why would you do that?
264
00:10:55,732 --> 00:10:58,967
Well...
I like you.
265
00:10:59,035 --> 00:11:01,336
I'm leaving and...
266
00:11:01,404 --> 00:11:03,105
I won't see you again.
267
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:05,173
So I don't know.
268
00:11:05,241 --> 00:11:06,575
Makes me feel good
to do something nice
269
00:11:06,643 --> 00:11:08,610
for someone I like.
270
00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:11,213
So... do you
want 'em?
271
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,714
Yes, I really do.
Yeah.
272
00:11:12,782 --> 00:11:13,715
I really--
273
00:11:13,783 --> 00:11:14,916
Thank you.
Cool.
274
00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:17,219
Thank you, I don't--
275
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:18,654
That's a--
that's it, I'm--
276
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,122
Have a good life.
277
00:11:20,189 --> 00:11:21,623
Okay?
Okay, I--
278
00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:24,993
Hey.
279
00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:30,298
Why don't we...
280
00:11:30,366 --> 00:11:32,234
What iwe get some-- what if
we get some coffee sometime?
281
00:11:32,301 --> 00:11:33,468
What if we--
282
00:11:33,536 --> 00:11:35,837
You want to get
some coffee sometime?
283
00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:38,173
Only if it's definitely
a date and not as friends.
284
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:43,011
I'm kidding.
Jesus.
285
00:11:43,079 --> 00:11:44,346
I'm kidding.
286
00:11:44,414 --> 00:11:45,781
I'd love to have some coffee.
287
00:11:45,848 --> 00:11:46,915
Yeah?
Tomorrow.
288
00:11:46,983 --> 00:11:48,050
Okay, tomorrow, I can.
289
00:11:48,117 --> 00:11:49,451
You want to meet at Friedman's?
290
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,279
Yes, I know where that is,
yeah, can do that.
291
00:11:51,287 --> 00:11:52,654
How about 2:00-ish?
292
00:11:52,722 --> 00:11:54,256
2:00-ish is good.
It's good?
293
00:11:54,323 --> 00:11:55,891
That sounds nice.
All right.
294
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:56,992
Yeah, I'll see you there.
I gotta--I gotta go down.
295
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,293
Okay, yeah.
296
00:11:58,361 --> 00:11:59,294
Thank you.
Yeah.
297
00:11:59,362 --> 00:12:00,862
That's awesome.
298
00:12:00,930 --> 00:12:02,647
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
299
00:12:04,367 --> 00:12:05,467
Mm-mm-mm
300
00:12:12,301 --> 00:12:14,035
Finally, he dies.
301
00:12:14,103 --> 00:12:15,470
I'm being mean--
I love my dad--
302
00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:17,772
but the day he left,
303
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,642
closed up the shop,
got the hell out of there
304
00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:23,612
and I started law school
when I was like 28.
305
00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:25,914
So you just broke your promise
306
00:12:25,982 --> 00:12:28,450
to the dying man like that?
307
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:31,052
See, here's the thing
about dead people.
308
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,654
They're dead.
309
00:12:32,722 --> 00:12:34,156
They don't matter anymore.
310
00:12:34,223 --> 00:12:35,690
Right.
Yeah.
311
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:36,992
Wow.
312
00:12:37,059 --> 00:12:38,360
Your parents still around?
313
00:12:38,427 --> 00:12:39,761
Yeah, yeah.
314
00:12:39,829 --> 00:12:41,363
I never lost
anybody to--
315
00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:43,265
Not to dying.
Really, nobody?
316
00:12:43,332 --> 00:12:44,399
Yeah, nobody--
317
00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:46,434
Well, my great-grandparents
are all dead,
318
00:12:46,502 --> 00:12:47,936
all eight of them.
319
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:49,070
Wow.
320
00:12:49,138 --> 00:12:51,640
Yeah, they actually
died on the same day.
321
00:12:52,942 --> 00:12:54,376
They were--
322
00:12:54,443 --> 00:12:56,278
Okay, four of them were on a plane...
Uh-huh.
323
00:12:56,345 --> 00:12:58,647
...and they crashed
into the other four,
324
00:12:58,714 --> 00:13:00,715
who were in a helicopter.
325
00:13:00,783 --> 00:13:02,851
Wow, it was just
like a freak accident.
326
00:13:02,919 --> 00:13:04,386
No, no, they planned it.
327
00:13:07,523 --> 00:13:08,790
- Ahh!
- Oh!
328
00:13:08,858 --> 00:13:09,858
Damn.
329
00:13:09,926 --> 00:13:11,326
Whoa!
330
00:13:13,396 --> 00:13:14,963
I used to play--
I used to, when I was a kid,
331
00:13:15,031 --> 00:13:17,265
play street hockey,
but I was not--
332
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:18,767
I was not skilled
like these people.
333
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:20,202
Yeah.
334
00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:22,704
I got my period when I was nine.
335
00:13:22,772 --> 00:13:24,673
Jesus Christ.
336
00:13:24,740 --> 00:13:25,907
Come on, let's go.
Okay.
337
00:13:25,975 --> 00:13:27,042
Let's get it going.
338
00:13:27,109 --> 00:13:29,344
So when I moved here,
it was--
339
00:13:29,412 --> 00:13:31,313
it was really hard, you know?
340
00:13:31,380 --> 00:13:32,681
I was really scared,
341
00:13:32,748 --> 00:13:35,350
I didn't know what
I was doing and...
342
00:13:35,418 --> 00:13:36,318
Uh...
343
00:13:36,385 --> 00:13:37,619
But you did it.
344
00:13:37,687 --> 00:13:38,653
Yeah.
345
00:13:38,721 --> 00:13:39,955
No, I mean, you did it.
346
00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:41,523
You relocated to
New York City on your own.
347
00:13:41,591 --> 00:13:42,657
Yeah.
348
00:13:42,725 --> 00:13:43,925
That's huge.
Yeah.
349
00:13:43,993 --> 00:13:44,993
Thanks, yeah.
350
00:13:45,061 --> 00:13:46,394
I mean, you know,
I got--
351
00:13:46,462 --> 00:13:48,563
I have two kids and they're both girls.
Right.
352
00:13:48,631 --> 00:13:52,033
And because they're girls,
353
00:13:52,101 --> 00:13:53,902
I need them to have
those basic skills,
354
00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:55,203
like that's what I feel is...
Yeah.
355
00:13:55,271 --> 00:13:58,139
...the most important thing
for me to pass on to them.
356
00:13:58,207 --> 00:14:00,375
If I did my job as a father,
357
00:14:00,443 --> 00:14:03,211
it means that they can
move to a town,
358
00:14:03,279 --> 00:14:04,779
just in a day
359
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:07,082
and get a bank account
and an apartment
360
00:14:07,149 --> 00:14:09,684
and a job and set themselves up.
361
00:14:09,752 --> 00:14:11,386
And they've left their
other town
362
00:14:11,454 --> 00:14:13,855
because there was
like a crime spree.
363
00:14:13,923 --> 00:14:15,423
Yeah, they murdered a lot--
Too many dead bodies.
364
00:14:15,491 --> 00:14:17,092
Too many people.
365
00:14:17,159 --> 00:14:19,160
That's what I tell
my girls all the time.
366
00:14:19,228 --> 00:14:20,795
Always be prepared to
bleach your hair
367
00:14:20,863 --> 00:14:23,698
and change your name
and start over again.
368
00:14:23,766 --> 00:14:25,446
I think that's the way you live a life.
Oh.
369
00:14:26,068 --> 00:14:27,335
What's the matter?
370
00:14:27,403 --> 00:14:28,703
I got a penny.
All right.
371
00:14:28,771 --> 00:14:31,039
Good luck for me,
not for you, sorry.
372
00:14:31,107 --> 00:14:33,074
Why good luck for you?
373
00:14:33,142 --> 00:14:34,676
"See a penny, face heads up,
374
00:14:34,744 --> 00:14:36,911
all day long you'll
have good luck."
375
00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:39,147
Well, 'cause it rhymes
that's supposed to be true?
376
00:14:39,215 --> 00:14:41,116
'Cause it rhymes?
Yeah.
377
00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:42,350
"See a penny, pick it up,
all day long
378
00:14:42,418 --> 00:14:43,385
you'll have
good luck."
379
00:14:43,452 --> 00:14:44,619
You make up a rhyme.
380
00:14:44,687 --> 00:14:45,353
Make up a rhyme?
Yeah.
381
00:14:45,421 --> 00:14:46,488
All right.
382
00:14:46,555 --> 00:14:48,456
Um...
383
00:14:48,524 --> 00:14:53,595
If you see a dog
with a fuzzy face...
384
00:14:53,663 --> 00:14:56,464
you'll never go to outer space.
385
00:14:56,532 --> 00:14:57,799
Is that true?
386
00:14:57,867 --> 00:14:59,100
Tell me that's not true.
Yeah, it's sad.
387
00:14:59,168 --> 00:15:03,134
It's sad, isn't it?
Oh, really sad.
388
00:15:03,201 --> 00:15:05,303
With a furry face.
It's a known...
389
00:15:08,058 --> 00:15:10,693
If they didn't
call it "dating," you know?
390
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,695
Something about the word
"dating,"
391
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:14,563
it makes it worse for me.
Yeah?
392
00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:15,798
What would you call it?
393
00:15:17,934 --> 00:15:19,435
"Trying," maybe?
Like, try--
394
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:21,971
"I've been
trying this girl."
395
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:24,607
"I'm going out on a try
with this--
396
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:26,775
with this dude."
397
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,511
Everybody's just trying.
Yeah.
398
00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:30,112
Not bad.
399
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:32,114
I mean, I would still--
I would still hate it.
400
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,115
Well...
401
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,416
But...
402
00:15:34,484 --> 00:15:35,684
Try dating in New York
in your late 30s
403
00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:38,320
as a fat girl.
404
00:15:38,388 --> 00:15:39,255
Well, you're not--
405
00:15:39,322 --> 00:15:41,524
I mean--
Don't.
406
00:15:41,591 --> 00:15:43,659
You're not fat.
407
00:15:43,727 --> 00:15:44,827
Oh, dammit.
408
00:15:46,830 --> 00:15:48,964
That is so goddamn
disappointing, Louie.
409
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:52,034
You-- you're--
no, you're not.
410
00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:53,035
You're not, I mean--
411
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:54,870
Louie.
412
00:15:54,938 --> 00:15:56,378
Do you know what
the meanest thing is
413
00:15:56,406 --> 00:15:58,707
you can say to a fat girl?
414
00:15:58,775 --> 00:16:00,376
"You're not fat."
415
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:02,344
I mean, come on, buddy.
416
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:08,050
I'm sorry.
417
00:16:13,590 --> 00:16:14,890
It just sucks.
418
00:16:14,958 --> 00:16:17,393
Oh, it really, really sucks.
419
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,895
You have no idea.
420
00:16:19,963 --> 00:16:21,263
And the worst part is,
421
00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:24,033
I'm not even
supposed to do this.
422
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,668
Do what?
423
00:16:25,735 --> 00:16:27,937
Tell anyone how bad it sucks,
424
00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:30,472
because it's too much
for people.
425
00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:31,874
I mean, you,
426
00:16:31,942 --> 00:16:33,943
you can talk into the microphone
427
00:16:34,010 --> 00:16:35,511
and say you can't get a date,
428
00:16:35,579 --> 00:16:38,581
you're overweight,
and it's adorable.
429
00:16:38,648 --> 00:16:40,683
But if I say it,
430
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:43,953
they call the suicide
hotline on me.
431
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,387
I mean, can I just say it?
432
00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,258
I'm fat.
433
00:16:49,326 --> 00:16:50,893
It sucks to be a fat girl.
434
00:16:52,028 --> 00:16:53,495
Can people just let me say it?
435
00:16:56,132 --> 00:16:57,399
It sucks!
436
00:16:57,467 --> 00:16:59,201
It really sucks.
437
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,039
And I'm gonna go ahead
and say it,
438
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,941
it's your fault.
439
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,994
Look.
440
00:17:25,061 --> 00:17:27,896
I really like you.
441
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,466
You're truly
a good guy, I think.
442
00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:32,501
So sorry.
443
00:17:32,569 --> 00:17:34,737
I'm picking you.
444
00:17:34,804 --> 00:17:37,373
On behalf of all the fat girls,
445
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:40,109
I'm making you
represent all the guys.
446
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:45,314
Why do you hate us so much?
447
00:17:47,684 --> 00:17:49,218
What is it about
448
00:17:49,286 --> 00:17:52,388
the basics of
human happiness, you know?
449
00:17:52,455 --> 00:17:55,457
Feeling attractive,
feeling loved?
450
00:17:55,525 --> 00:17:56,925
Having guys chase after us,
451
00:17:56,993 --> 00:18:00,963
that's just not in
the cards for us.
452
00:18:01,031 --> 00:18:02,064
Nope, not for us.
453
00:18:09,706 --> 00:18:11,173
How is that fair?
454
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:15,177
And why am I supposed to
just accept it?
455
00:18:15,245 --> 00:18:17,279
You know, Vanessa,
456
00:18:17,347 --> 00:18:22,051
you're a very,
really beautiful...
457
00:18:22,118 --> 00:18:24,153
Come on.
458
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:28,324
If I was a "very,
really beautiful,"
459
00:18:28,391 --> 00:18:30,793
then you would have said yes
when I asked you out.
460
00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:32,761
I mean, come on, Louie.
461
00:18:32,829 --> 00:18:34,763
Be honest here.
462
00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:48,711
You know what's funny?
463
00:18:48,778 --> 00:18:51,814
I flirt with guys all the time.
464
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,749
And I mean,
the great-looking ones,
465
00:18:53,817 --> 00:18:57,319
like the really high-caliber
studs...
466
00:18:57,387 --> 00:19:01,090
they flirt
right back, no problem.
467
00:19:01,157 --> 00:19:03,158
Because they know their status
468
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:04,393
will never be questioned,
469
00:19:04,461 --> 00:19:08,630
but guys like you
never flirt with me,
470
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:10,899
because you get scared that
471
00:19:10,967 --> 00:19:14,370
maybe you should be
with a girl like me.
472
00:19:14,437 --> 00:19:16,038
And why not?
473
00:19:24,214 --> 00:19:26,782
You know...
474
00:19:26,850 --> 00:19:29,518
if you were
standing over there...
475
00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,720
looking at us,
476
00:19:31,788 --> 00:19:33,789
you know what you'd see?
477
00:19:33,857 --> 00:19:35,524
What?
478
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,059
That we totally match.
479
00:19:39,329 --> 00:19:42,331
We're actually
a great couple together.
480
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:48,070
And yet, you would never
date a girl like me.
481
00:19:48,138 --> 00:19:49,505
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
482
00:19:49,572 --> 00:19:51,240
That's--
No, it's--Yes.
483
00:19:51,307 --> 00:19:53,075
It's--
It is.
484
00:19:54,377 --> 00:19:56,145
Have you ever dated a girl
that was heavier than you?
485
00:19:56,212 --> 00:19:57,279
Yes, I have.
Have you?
486
00:19:57,347 --> 00:19:58,680
Yes, I have.
No, no, no.
487
00:19:58,748 --> 00:20:00,115
I have.
No, no, no, no.
488
00:20:00,183 --> 00:20:01,316
I didn't say,
489
00:20:01,384 --> 00:20:04,119
"Have you ever fucked
a fat girl, Louie?"
490
00:20:04,187 --> 00:20:07,156
I'm sure you
have, every guy has.
491
00:20:07,223 --> 00:20:10,058
I mean, when I met you,
if I had said,
492
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,493
"Hey, you wanna
go to the back room
493
00:20:11,561 --> 00:20:13,262
and screw on a big
can of peaches?"
494
00:20:13,329 --> 00:20:15,564
You would have gone for it.
495
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:17,599
No.
496
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:21,170
I'm saying, have you
ever dated a fat girl?
497
00:20:21,237 --> 00:20:23,405
Have you ever kissed a fat girl?
498
00:20:23,473 --> 00:20:26,175
Have you ever wooed a fat girl?
499
00:20:26,242 --> 00:20:30,345
Have you ever held hands
with a fat girl?
500
00:20:30,413 --> 00:20:32,673
Have you ever
walked down the street
501
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:35,368
in the light of day
502
00:20:35,854 --> 00:20:38,814
holding hands with
a big girl like me?
503
00:20:42,036 --> 00:20:43,712
Go ahead.
504
00:20:44,141 --> 00:20:45,987
Hold my hand.
505
00:20:48,098 --> 00:20:49,813
What do you
think's gonna happen?
506
00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:52,060
You think your dick's
gonna fall off
507
00:20:52,128 --> 00:20:54,296
if you hold hands
with a fat girl?
508
00:21:01,147 --> 00:21:02,977
You know what the sad thing is?
509
00:21:04,141 --> 00:21:05,774
That's all I want.
510
00:21:08,072 --> 00:21:09,511
I mean, I can get laid.
511
00:21:09,579 --> 00:21:11,379
Any woman who is willing
can get laid.
512
00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:12,754
I don't want that.
513
00:21:13,175 --> 00:21:15,951
I don't even need
a boyfriend or husband.
514
00:21:17,827 --> 00:21:23,525
All I want is to hold hands
with a nice guy
515
00:21:23,593 --> 00:21:25,660
and walk and talk...
516
00:21:36,372 --> 00:21:37,672
Huh, huh?
517
00:21:37,740 --> 00:21:39,040
Okay?
518
00:21:40,943 --> 00:21:43,178
Huh?
519
00:21:43,246 --> 00:21:44,579
That's good, right?
You caught on.
520
00:21:44,647 --> 00:21:46,047
Huh?
521
00:21:46,115 --> 00:21:48,216
Takes you a little--
a little while.
522
00:21:50,881 --> 00:21:52,787
You want to hear a joke?
523
00:21:52,855 --> 00:21:54,222
Sure.
524
00:21:54,290 --> 00:21:55,804
All right, after everything
I say, you say--
525
00:21:55,924 --> 00:21:57,296
you say,
"So did the fat lady."
526
00:21:57,416 --> 00:21:58,049
Okay.
527
00:21:58,169 --> 00:22:00,421
All right, I went to the zoo.
So did the fat lady.
528
00:22:00,642 --> 00:22:02,152
I saw the monkeys.
529
00:22:02,272 --> 00:22:03,549
So did the fat lady.
530
00:22:03,849 --> 00:22:05,172
I bought some popcorn.
531
00:22:05,292 --> 00:22:06,093
So did the fat lady.
532
00:22:06,152 --> 00:22:08,141
I got a hotdog and some candy.
533
00:22:08,261 --> 00:22:09,400
So did the fat lady.
534
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:10,573
I saw the giraffe.
535
00:22:10,693 --> 00:22:11,683
So did the fat lady.
536
00:22:11,908 --> 00:22:12,544
The lions...
537
00:22:12,664 --> 00:22:13,642
So did the fat lady.
538
00:22:13,762 --> 00:22:15,775
An ice cream and some doughnuts.
539
00:22:16,030 --> 00:22:17,153
So did the fat lady.
540
00:22:17,273 --> 00:22:18,432
And I got some lemonade.
541
00:22:18,552 --> 00:22:19,353
So did the fat lady.
542
00:22:19,394 --> 00:22:20,267
Some cotton candy.
543
00:22:20,387 --> 00:22:21,514
So did the fat lady.
544
00:22:21,634 --> 00:22:22,509
I bought a balloon.
545
00:22:22,629 --> 00:22:23,607
So did the fat lady.
546
00:22:23,727 --> 00:22:25,528
The balloon popped.
So...
547
00:22:25,742 --> 00:22:34,778
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
548
00:22:34,828 --> 00:22:39,378
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35954
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