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[George sighs]
3
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Good morning, George.
4
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Good morning? Tti's not a good morning.
5
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It's a great morning.
6
00:00:09,362 --> 00:00:11,431
Last night, Lori and I... Look it...
7
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I don't even chew gum, that's hers.
8
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And sexually, I almost went twice.
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I tried to go.
10
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Airplane looked like it was gonna get up.
11
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And then she wanted to go brush her teeth
12
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and it went... shhk!
Let's just say the airplane
13
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had a little mechanical difficulties.
14
00:00:25,535 --> 00:00:28,068
But listen, Lori and I are back...
15
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[muffled whistle] On track.
16
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Look how in love he is.
17
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Yes, and in the same clothes
18
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he wore last night when he left.
19
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George, it's the walk of shame.
20
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- You're a whore.
- That's right, I am a whore.
21
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[sniffs] And you know
what? I smell like one too.
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Phew, man, let me tell you something.
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We went to dinner, and then she
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took me shopping on Rodeo Drive.
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I didn't have to pay for nothing.
26
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So you... you got yourself
a little sugar mama, huh?
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I hope so.
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[Hector] Baby, I'll see what I can do.
29
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Your Uber's out front.
30
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Hector had a little play date, huh?
31
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No breakfast?
32
00:00:56,366 --> 00:00:58,065
No "I'll call you tomorrow", nothing.
33
00:00:58,067 --> 00:00:59,800
You just got it all
figured out, don't you?
34
00:00:59,802 --> 00:01:01,935
Gotta take control
with your ladies, right?
35
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Can't be a cuck.
36
00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:06,340
Yeah, that's a good
attitude for summer of 1951.
37
00:01:06,342 --> 00:01:08,408
Look, what goes around comes around.
38
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Men are back to being men.
39
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They are, really? Since when?
40
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I don't know what that means.
41
00:01:13,482 --> 00:01:15,550
Oh, jefe, Wendy asked
me to give you this.
42
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I was hoping it was a love note.
43
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:21,254
This a note for a
parent-teacher conference.
44
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I'm not doing very well in school.
45
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Yeah, but why would I go?
46
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Why wouldn't you give this to your mom?
47
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I didn't wanna get in trouble,
48
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so I put you down as
my responsible adult.
49
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Right above my parole officer.
50
00:01:29,398 --> 00:01:31,065
All right, I'll tell
you what, I'm a do it.
51
00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:32,866
Like I don't have enough things
to do with your mom suing me
52
00:01:32,868 --> 00:01:35,716
over that stupid ass grill
with her Latino lawyer.
53
00:01:35,817 --> 00:01:37,070
I'll handle this.
54
00:01:37,073 --> 00:01:38,238
Don't worry, Manolo, I got it.
55
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Thanks, jefe.
56
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,043
And tell her I might be late for dinner.
57
00:01:42,471 --> 00:01:44,406
58
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So, new?
59
00:01:49,111 --> 00:01:51,344
Well, my magency's really picking up.
60
00:01:51,346 --> 00:01:53,513
And the network's about to
greenlight my show "Valleys."
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00:01:53,515 --> 00:01:54,547
So, fingers crossed.
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00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,781
We're smoking it.
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Oh, and I'm seeing Jason. And Rachel.
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Having much fun.
65
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Still so popular.
66
00:02:00,789 --> 00:02:02,021
Mom, Jason and Rachel
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00:02:02,023 --> 00:02:04,123
are the execs on my show "Valleys."
68
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:06,159
- And Jason's married.
- So?
69
00:02:06,161 --> 00:02:09,063
So... I don't want your "love
life" to screw up my show.
70
00:02:09,088 --> 00:02:10,508
Negative much?
71
00:02:10,533 --> 00:02:12,699
I'm very proud of you for
getting your life together.
72
00:02:12,701 --> 00:02:13,900
I got her life together.
73
00:02:13,902 --> 00:02:15,534
Be happy for your sister.
74
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:18,837
She's dating many people
and you're not dating anyone.
75
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:21,775
[withering chuckle]
76
00:02:22,358 --> 00:02:24,777
So, you don't deny that you saw my client
77
00:02:24,779 --> 00:02:28,247
wheel her sausages grill
inside the comedy club?
78
00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:29,982
Yes... I mean, no.
79
00:02:29,985 --> 00:02:32,352
I was already working on, uh, projects
80
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because I had a meeting
with my friend, Jake.
81
00:02:34,055 --> 00:02:35,123
Mm-hmm.
82
00:02:35,148 --> 00:02:36,581
And he had asked me to, you know,
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00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:40,285
prepare some things for GVN, uh, and...
84
00:02:40,287 --> 00:02:42,587
You know, like, what George Foreman did
85
00:02:42,589 --> 00:02:44,850
with the George Foreman Grill.
86
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Uh-huh.
87
00:02:46,347 --> 00:02:48,479
Your friend told you to,
to come up with something
88
00:02:48,506 --> 00:02:50,243
like the George Foreman Grill.
89
00:02:50,268 --> 00:02:52,267
So, you rack your brain for days,
90
00:02:52,292 --> 00:02:54,560
then came up with the George Lopez Grill?
91
00:02:54,562 --> 00:02:56,596
Wait, um... Wait a minute, my...
92
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My, mine's different, you
know, it's Mexican style.
93
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And you can grill indoors.
94
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Indoors, where my client
was trying to move her grill.
95
00:03:04,039 --> 00:03:05,654
[clears throat] It's hot in here.
96
00:03:05,678 --> 00:03:07,678
_
97
00:03:07,702 --> 00:03:09,702
_
98
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Okay, I'd like to have that
stricken from the record.
99
00:03:12,643 --> 00:03:14,676
What do we gotta pay to
make this thing go away?
100
00:03:14,678 --> 00:03:16,477
Why don't we all relax,
101
00:03:16,479 --> 00:03:18,647
and perhaps the counselor and
I could go and discuss this.
102
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Vamos, se?orita.
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[speaking Spanish]
104
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I'm concerned for Manolo.
105
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:35,963
His grades have been taking
a real nosedive lately.
106
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Has anything changed at home
that I should know about?
107
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Uh, let me think, well...
108
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His girlfriend dumped him, you.
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The main reason I called this meeting
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is that Manolo has stopped
wearing his glasses!
111
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I know, I think that's great, don't you?
112
00:03:51,047 --> 00:03:52,414
He looks pompous in those things.
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Like, you just wanna
punch him in the face.
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No, I think he looks handsome.
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Very distinguished.
116
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You don't see him like I
do rubbing his chin all day
117
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like he's deep in thought,
like he's gonna become
118
00:04:01,223 --> 00:04:02,891
some professor of Chicano studies.
119
00:04:02,893 --> 00:04:04,592
Well, you know, he is
one of my best students.
120
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And he works really hard.
121
00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:09,537
And he will move on.
122
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Probably leave me one
day for an exciting career
123
00:04:11,534 --> 00:04:15,003
in data entry or refrigerator
repair or something like that.
124
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:17,638
No, come on, he's crazy
about you, head over heels.
125
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,373
Matter of fact, I'm a little concerned
126
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,669
that he might hurt himself, actually
127
00:04:21,755 --> 00:04:23,010
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
128
00:04:23,685 --> 00:04:24,716
[chuckling]
129
00:04:24,974 --> 00:04:27,114
Well, as nice as that is to hear,
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the point is... he can't see.
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And if he can't see,
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he won't pass his
final exam and graduate.
133
00:04:33,688 --> 00:04:35,089
He must wear his glasses.
134
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,423
How about this?
135
00:04:36,425 --> 00:04:37,991
How about laser surgery on his eyes?
136
00:04:37,993 --> 00:04:39,126
That's a remedy right there.
137
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He won't even need glasses.
138
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:41,662
Oh, yeah, I mentioned that to him,
139
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and he just burst out crying.
140
00:04:42,933 --> 00:04:44,498
He is petrified of that procedure.
141
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,433
Laser surgery. Your know what I'll do?
142
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I'll make an appointment for him.
143
00:04:48,003 --> 00:04:49,503
I'll go with him, hold his hand through
144
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:51,346
the whole procedure,
make sure he's all right.
145
00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:53,541
Well, if you go with him...
146
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Yes.
147
00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:56,298
Gonna hold his hand?
148
00:04:56,528 --> 00:04:58,059
Yeah, I'll do... Mm-hmm.
149
00:04:58,133 --> 00:05:00,647
Yeah, be very gentle with him 'cause...
150
00:05:00,649 --> 00:05:01,683
Mm-hmm.
151
00:05:01,685 --> 00:05:03,281
[whispers] He likes that.
152
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,527
Is this still a
parent-teacher conference?
153
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:08,289
To frivolous lawsuits.
154
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:11,522
May they all be disposed
of for five grand.
155
00:05:12,702 --> 00:05:15,070
Wait a minute, I gotta
pay Manolo's mom $5,000?
156
00:05:15,095 --> 00:05:17,031
Apparently, she wants
a taco truck, so, yes.
157
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:18,265
Oh, and an apology.
158
00:05:18,267 --> 00:05:20,400
But it's not exactly an apology.
159
00:05:20,402 --> 00:05:22,570
More like an endorsement for her truck.
160
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:23,971
And then everything goes away.
161
00:05:23,973 --> 00:05:25,839
- All right.
- Mm-hmm.
162
00:05:25,841 --> 00:05:28,443
Mmm, oh, I got you something.
163
00:05:28,445 --> 00:05:29,943
- You did?
- Yup.
164
00:05:30,679 --> 00:05:31,945
Hm, what's this?
165
00:05:31,947 --> 00:05:33,815
Some new chic, casual clothes
166
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for our trip to Costa Rica.
167
00:05:38,406 --> 00:05:40,121
I didn't know we were
going to Costa Rica?
168
00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:42,789
Yup, this weekend. We're taking my plane.
169
00:05:42,791 --> 00:05:45,125
Oh, well, I didn't know, I...
170
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:47,128
Well, now you do know.
171
00:05:47,130 --> 00:05:49,431
- Oh, Costa Rica.
- Hmm.
172
00:05:49,845 --> 00:05:51,998
- All right, yeah, sure, why not?
- Great.
173
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,717
Why not? [chuckling]
174
00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:56,110
Well, aren't you gonna try them on?
175
00:05:56,112 --> 00:05:57,877
Unh-unh, I'll try 'em on later.
176
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,613
Why don't you help me
get out of these clothes?
177
00:05:59,615 --> 00:06:01,798
Oh, okay, you can try them on later.
178
00:06:02,584 --> 00:06:05,721
179
00:06:10,394 --> 00:06:12,026
- How'd it go with Wendy?
- Great.
180
00:06:12,028 --> 00:06:13,728
You know, I think she's
still sweet on you.
181
00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:15,695
The thing is, she's
worried about her job,
182
00:06:15,697 --> 00:06:17,130
you know, being a professional and stuff.
183
00:06:17,132 --> 00:06:18,699
So, if I could give you some advice.
184
00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,500
I would say wait till you pass the test,
185
00:06:20,502 --> 00:06:21,836
and then go for it.
186
00:06:21,838 --> 00:06:23,837
Oh, and she wants you to
have laser eye surgery.
187
00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:25,473
Well, wait, I'm scared of that shit.
188
00:06:25,475 --> 00:06:27,408
I'd rather to go back
to wearing my glasses.
189
00:06:27,410 --> 00:06:28,585
Well, you can't.
190
00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:30,110
Okay, I probably shouldn't tell you this
191
00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:31,779
but Wendy hates you in glasses.
192
00:06:31,781 --> 00:06:34,182
- She does?
- Yup, she said that you look pompous
193
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:36,517
and that she wanted to punch
right in the middle of your face.
194
00:06:36,519 --> 00:06:38,219
- She said it like that?
- Like that.
195
00:06:38,221 --> 00:06:39,887
But you know, I can't
probably say more because
196
00:06:39,889 --> 00:06:42,990
of the sanctity of the
parent-teacher conference.
197
00:06:42,992 --> 00:06:44,837
But remember, it's for Wendy.
198
00:06:45,215 --> 00:06:46,920
So that's the apartment I
was thinking about getting.
199
00:06:46,945 --> 00:06:47,873
Oh, that's nice.
200
00:06:47,898 --> 00:06:49,863
- [George clears throat]
- Yo, what the...
201
00:06:49,865 --> 00:06:51,264
What the hell are you wearing?!
202
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:52,599
Lori bought this for me.
203
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,067
We're going to Costa Rica this weekend.
204
00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:56,004
You look like something
from "Caddyshack II."
205
00:06:56,006 --> 00:06:58,606
Yo, hold up, this weekend?
It's Laker-Cavs.
206
00:06:58,608 --> 00:06:59,740
You have courtside tickets.
207
00:06:59,742 --> 00:07:00,841
I can watch it over there,
208
00:07:00,843 --> 00:07:02,243
somewhere in a bar, somewhere.
209
00:07:02,245 --> 00:07:03,810
But you've been looking
forward to that game.
210
00:07:03,812 --> 00:07:05,346
Yeah, well, you know, slightly.
211
00:07:05,348 --> 00:07:07,182
But this is the weekend she
wanted to go and, you know,
212
00:07:07,184 --> 00:07:08,548
she got the plane and everything.
213
00:07:08,550 --> 00:07:09,884
Without telling you?
214
00:07:09,886 --> 00:07:11,275
No, come on, she told me last night.
215
00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:15,255
- What?
- She told you last night.
216
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:17,665
After she saved your
ass at the deposition.
217
00:07:17,665 --> 00:07:19,130
[Hector] And bought you another outfit.
218
00:07:19,132 --> 00:07:21,166
I mean, Lori got it all
covered, doesn't she?
219
00:07:21,514 --> 00:07:25,103
Business and pleasure.
Damn, George, you a cuck.
220
00:07:25,105 --> 00:07:28,274
[both] Cuck, cuck-cuck, cuck, cuck.
221
00:07:28,276 --> 00:07:29,764
[clucking]
222
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,248
[both clucking]
223
00:07:31,663 --> 00:07:35,248
Okay, okay, first of
all, you guys are clucking
224
00:07:35,296 --> 00:07:37,130
like, roosters, "cluck"!
225
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,571
It's cuck.
226
00:07:38,596 --> 00:07:40,059
Okay, cuck.
227
00:07:40,270 --> 00:07:42,203
And I'm a man, I'm an individual.
228
00:07:42,205 --> 00:07:43,405
And I'm not one of those.
229
00:07:43,407 --> 00:07:44,739
Um, yeah, I think you are.
230
00:07:44,741 --> 00:07:46,408
Uh, you sleep at her house all the time.
231
00:07:46,410 --> 00:07:47,977
And she's always picking the restaurant.
232
00:07:47,979 --> 00:07:49,278
And she's always picking up the tab.
233
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:50,412
And she got you dressed like some type
234
00:07:50,414 --> 00:07:52,213
of boy toy Mexican Ken doll.
235
00:07:52,215 --> 00:07:54,616
Wow, that... that hurts.
236
00:07:54,618 --> 00:07:56,753
Listen, she's 200 times richer than I am.
237
00:07:56,753 --> 00:07:57,953
So, when I'm the wealthy
one in the relationship,
238
00:07:57,954 --> 00:07:59,185
then I'll pay for everything.
239
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,175
Jefe's right.
240
00:08:00,176 --> 00:08:01,842
Wendy's a powerful
woman of authority, too.
241
00:08:01,844 --> 00:08:03,936
So, when she would tell me
to do something, I did it.
242
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:05,145
- Cuck.
- Cuck.
243
00:08:05,587 --> 00:08:07,981
So, okay, you know what?
I handle my business.
244
00:08:07,983 --> 00:08:10,051
I'ma tell her I had
already made other plans.
245
00:08:10,053 --> 00:08:11,719
And that we'll have to go another time.
246
00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:13,120
She gonna have to be fine with that.
247
00:08:13,122 --> 00:08:14,221
She'll have to be
248
00:08:14,223 --> 00:08:16,190
because you're the man.
249
00:08:16,192 --> 00:08:18,758
Now, I'm gonna go find me an
apartment for me and Chandra
250
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:21,561
because I'm picking it
out and I'm paying for it
251
00:08:21,563 --> 00:08:23,498
because that's what men do.
252
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,766
Men do, do. Okay, leave me hanging.
253
00:08:25,768 --> 00:08:27,267
Shit, Triumph Seekers!
254
00:08:27,269 --> 00:08:29,436
I told those fools to
come back another time.
255
00:08:29,438 --> 00:08:31,238
Shit, Manolo, damn!
256
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:33,440
Listen, I'm not living in
fear of these guys anymore.
257
00:08:33,442 --> 00:08:34,876
I'ma go talk to them.
258
00:08:34,878 --> 00:08:38,298
Dressed like a guy that
sells paletas in the park.
259
00:08:41,269 --> 00:08:42,875
We need to speak with Manolo.
260
00:08:44,145 --> 00:08:45,164
Manolo's not here.
261
00:08:45,189 --> 00:08:47,889
That's funny because we just
saw him go into this house.
262
00:08:47,926 --> 00:08:50,423
Which means the Lord saw
him go into this house.
263
00:08:50,425 --> 00:08:51,559
But, you know, he's not here, okay.
264
00:08:51,561 --> 00:08:53,027
I'm telling you he's not here.
265
00:08:53,029 --> 00:08:54,427
So, I'd appreciate it if
both of you would just,
266
00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:55,702
you know, move it along.
267
00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:59,233
Yeah, we'll move it along
to salvation and peace.
268
00:08:59,924 --> 00:09:01,033
Wouldn't that feel good?
269
00:09:01,035 --> 00:09:02,813
Joy instead of pain?
270
00:09:03,345 --> 00:09:04,969
Love instead of doubt?
271
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,158
All your burdens lifted?
272
00:09:09,195 --> 00:09:10,681
Yeah, I mean, come on, of course.
273
00:09:10,761 --> 00:09:13,025
George Lopez, let Jesus
Christ into your heart.
274
00:09:13,126 --> 00:09:14,593
How'd he know my name?
275
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:16,191
Because you're famous.
276
00:09:16,193 --> 00:09:17,726
But that doesn't lift the burden.
277
00:09:17,728 --> 00:09:19,210
It only makes it heavier.
278
00:09:19,564 --> 00:09:21,797
That's true, it does.
279
00:09:21,799 --> 00:09:23,709
On a daily basis, bro, it is so...
280
00:09:25,308 --> 00:09:26,706
You guys don't blink.
281
00:09:26,731 --> 00:09:28,644
Oh! I always heard that
you guys didn't blink.
282
00:09:28,646 --> 00:09:30,478
And you don't, that's... damn.
283
00:09:31,066 --> 00:09:33,849
How would you like to not have
to worry about anything again?
284
00:09:33,883 --> 00:09:35,550
The Lord can take care of everything.
285
00:09:36,667 --> 00:09:38,267
Take care of everything?
286
00:09:38,292 --> 00:09:39,651
Everything, wow...
287
00:09:40,425 --> 00:09:41,368
Ev...
288
00:09:41,991 --> 00:09:45,260
[laughing] You guys almost got me!
289
00:09:45,262 --> 00:09:46,728
Wow! Man!
290
00:09:46,730 --> 00:09:47,796
Come back at Halloween.
291
00:09:47,798 --> 00:09:49,992
I give out full-size candies.
292
00:09:53,137 --> 00:09:55,170
Thank you, Olly, so
much for coming with me.
293
00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,938
Like, I really need a
woman's point of view.
294
00:09:56,940 --> 00:09:58,506
Chandra will be here in a couple of days,
295
00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:00,675
and I want to have a place
locked down by then, okay?
296
00:10:01,664 --> 00:10:03,274
- [phone ringing]
- What is this?
297
00:10:03,274 --> 00:10:04,974
Oh, Pfeiffer!
298
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:07,525
I really need to find my own place, too.
299
00:10:07,619 --> 00:10:09,179
But that's not why I brought you to...
300
00:10:09,181 --> 00:10:10,612
You'll love this apartment.
301
00:10:10,614 --> 00:10:11,948
The floors actually have radiant heat.
302
00:10:11,950 --> 00:10:13,516
I don't know what that means
303
00:10:13,518 --> 00:10:15,551
but it sounds like something I must have.
304
00:10:15,553 --> 00:10:17,018
Dammit, Pfeiffer, I told you
305
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,555
Rachel and Jason would
find out about each other.
306
00:10:18,557 --> 00:10:21,190
It's cool, sis, I
already have a prob solve.
307
00:10:21,192 --> 00:10:23,292
A "prob solve". What does that even mean?
308
00:10:23,294 --> 00:10:25,728
It means that Rachel, Jason and I
309
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,762
are going to Palm
Springs for the weekend.
310
00:10:27,764 --> 00:10:30,266
[Olly] Wait, the three of you
are going away for the weekend?
311
00:10:30,268 --> 00:10:32,502
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, what about Jason's wife?
312
00:10:32,504 --> 00:10:34,369
She'd never go for it.
313
00:10:34,371 --> 00:10:35,637
Apparently, that's part of the problem.
314
00:10:35,639 --> 00:10:37,574
What? No!
315
00:10:37,576 --> 00:10:40,876
No three-ways, no two-ways, no anal.
316
00:10:40,878 --> 00:10:42,844
I swear, Pfeiffer, if
you screw up my show...
317
00:10:42,846 --> 00:10:44,979
Oh! It's all good, bye!
318
00:10:45,524 --> 00:10:46,672
Ugh!
319
00:10:47,317 --> 00:10:48,809
Oh, you heard that?
320
00:10:49,019 --> 00:10:51,687
Living with my sister, you know, at home.
321
00:10:51,689 --> 00:10:53,889
- You have no idea.
- I live with my sister.
322
00:10:53,891 --> 00:10:56,157
Yeah, but I'm sure she's lovely.
323
00:10:56,159 --> 00:10:59,195
You know, not off having
sex weekends in the desert.
324
00:10:59,197 --> 00:11:01,273
She has cerebral palsy.
325
00:11:01,517 --> 00:11:03,829
Mmm. Of course she does.
326
00:11:03,934 --> 00:11:06,035
327
00:11:06,422 --> 00:11:07,468
Good morning.
328
00:11:07,471 --> 00:11:08,821
Good morning.
329
00:11:10,127 --> 00:11:11,107
It's a great morning.
330
00:11:11,109 --> 00:11:12,116
Yeah.
331
00:11:12,652 --> 00:11:15,878
Oh, I got you... this.
332
00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:18,804
Ah, because you have been spending
333
00:11:19,557 --> 00:11:21,872
so much time here.
334
00:11:21,910 --> 00:11:23,344
You're dressing me up again.
335
00:11:23,345 --> 00:11:24,343
Yeah.
336
00:11:24,345 --> 00:11:25,797
Wow, that's... beautiful.
337
00:11:25,829 --> 00:11:27,160
Uh, Lori, listen.
338
00:11:27,162 --> 00:11:28,428
I... I know that we talked about
339
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:30,331
going to Costa Rica this weekend.
340
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,031
Mm-hmm, oh, you are
gonna love it down there.
341
00:11:32,033 --> 00:11:35,135
And I booked you a
mani-pedi on the beach.
342
00:11:35,137 --> 00:11:36,938
It sounds amazing but,
you know, this Saturday,
343
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:40,241
the Lakers and Cavs are
playing at Staples Center.
344
00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:41,509
You like LeBron James, don't you?
345
00:11:41,511 --> 00:11:42,977
Oh, I love LeBron.
346
00:11:42,979 --> 00:11:44,711
He bought 200 of our
cordless facial toners
347
00:11:44,713 --> 00:11:47,649
as Christmas gifts for the
whole Cavaliers organization.
348
00:11:47,651 --> 00:11:48,807
Oh, that's nice.
349
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,952
Well, you can caress his cheeks Saturday
350
00:11:50,954 --> 00:11:53,436
because I got courtside seats.
351
00:11:53,976 --> 00:11:57,457
And, I thought maybe we
could have dinner afterwards.
352
00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:59,961
And I booked us a suite
at the Ritz-Carlton.
353
00:12:00,682 --> 00:12:02,939
George, you are so thoughtful.
354
00:12:03,127 --> 00:12:04,631
But we can watch the game on the beach
355
00:12:04,633 --> 00:12:06,680
at my villa in Papagayo.
356
00:12:08,321 --> 00:12:10,103
Yeah, okay, but don't you wanna
357
00:12:10,105 --> 00:12:13,640
feel the joy of seeing LeBron in person?
358
00:12:14,368 --> 00:12:16,462
Uh, I get that you do.
359
00:12:16,487 --> 00:12:17,409
Mmm.
360
00:12:18,727 --> 00:12:20,174
Let go of your burden.
361
00:12:20,833 --> 00:12:23,591
Open your heart and open your soul
362
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,220
to steaks after the game
363
00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:29,610
and a suite at the Ritz-Carlton.
364
00:12:30,660 --> 00:12:31,958
Say this with me, Lori.
365
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,127
- Okay.
- I wanna go
366
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:37,295
to the Lakers and the
Cavs game on Saturday.
367
00:12:38,700 --> 00:12:41,034
Uh, um... I wanna go
368
00:12:41,036 --> 00:12:44,541
see the Lakers and the
Cavs game on Saturday.
369
00:12:47,609 --> 00:12:48,967
Yeah.
370
00:12:52,614 --> 00:12:55,982
So, Lori is coming to the
game with me, no problem.
371
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,852
I knew you weren't a cuck, jefe.
372
00:12:57,854 --> 00:12:59,120
So where to?
373
00:12:59,122 --> 00:13:00,987
Uh, where to? Let's see, oh...
374
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,490
You know, I was thinking about
trying that new ice cream place.
375
00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:04,024
- You like ice cream, right?
- Yeah.
376
00:13:04,026 --> 00:13:05,992
Yeah, uh, you know what, let me drive.
377
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,727
Huh? Try something new.
378
00:13:07,729 --> 00:13:10,060
You can't see, blind bat.
379
00:13:11,567 --> 00:13:12,800
Yeah, they got a lot of
380
00:13:12,802 --> 00:13:15,402
assorted, uh, colors and flavors.
381
00:13:15,404 --> 00:13:16,630
Where is it?
382
00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:20,116
Uh, right there on
Southern, like, 1161...
383
00:13:20,362 --> 00:13:22,718
- Laser surgery!
- [screeches]
384
00:13:23,459 --> 00:13:24,960
Why can't I just wear glasses?
385
00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:26,461
Okay, first of all, lower your voice.
386
00:13:26,463 --> 00:13:28,464
Your in a professional medical building.
387
00:13:28,466 --> 00:13:32,167
And secondly, I told you, every
time Wendy sees you in glasses,
388
00:13:32,169 --> 00:13:35,202
she wants to strangle you, okay?
389
00:13:35,204 --> 00:13:37,765
Now just relax. Lean back.
390
00:13:39,176 --> 00:13:41,561
There you go, one down.
391
00:13:41,878 --> 00:13:42,930
Piece of cake, right?
392
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:46,175
Yeah, that wasn't too
bad. The Valium helps.
393
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,100
Before you know it, we'll
have you with 20/20 vision.
394
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:50,437
Onto to eye numero dos.
395
00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:52,614
You hear that, Manolo? No more glasses.
396
00:13:52,941 --> 00:13:56,019
Okay, this'll take just a few seconds.
397
00:13:56,878 --> 00:14:00,447
Uh-oh, abort. Abort!
398
00:14:00,449 --> 00:14:03,963
Ow! Manolo... ow!
399
00:14:03,987 --> 00:14:05,987
Yeah, the doctor cut the flap too thin.
400
00:14:06,447 --> 00:14:08,747
But he said in a week or
ten days, he'll be 20/20.
401
00:14:08,748 --> 00:14:11,149
- Poor guy, hmm.
- Who said that?
402
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:12,418
All right, take it easy.
403
00:14:12,420 --> 00:14:13,885
That's... that's Maronzio, all right?
404
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,987
Here, drink your... Drink your juice
405
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,255
right there in front of you, good.
406
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,324
Why does he have bandages on both eyes?
407
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,392
The doctor decided to cover both eyes
408
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,391
or it could cause too
much strain or imbalance.
409
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:24,633
[whispers] George...
410
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,866
What about his final exam?
411
00:14:27,868 --> 00:14:29,243
He won't be able to graduate.
412
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:31,345
Yeah, I... I know, we
gotta figure something out.
413
00:14:31,347 --> 00:14:32,511
Who said that?
414
00:14:32,513 --> 00:14:33,913
Oh, that's... That's us.
415
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,448
All right, here, give me that juice.
416
00:14:35,450 --> 00:14:37,051
You're good, don't worry about it, relax.
417
00:14:37,053 --> 00:14:38,684
Hey, but on the Lori front,
check this out, good news.
418
00:14:38,686 --> 00:14:41,322
We're going to the Laker
game so no more cucky.
419
00:14:41,324 --> 00:14:42,722
There you go, George, huh?
420
00:14:42,724 --> 00:14:43,923
- You the man.
- That's right.
421
00:14:43,925 --> 00:14:45,860
- You take charge.
- That's right.
422
00:14:45,862 --> 00:14:47,208
Yeah, dude.
423
00:14:47,856 --> 00:14:49,088
Hell, yeah!
424
00:14:51,153 --> 00:14:52,171
Oh.
425
00:14:52,196 --> 00:14:53,996
Welcome, those are for you.
426
00:14:53,998 --> 00:14:55,842
- Thank you. Oh.
- Hug.
427
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,135
Can't believe you sent a limo for me.
428
00:14:59,137 --> 00:15:00,569
Very different from the two times
429
00:15:00,571 --> 00:15:01,938
you forgot to even pick me up.
430
00:15:01,940 --> 00:15:03,805
Times are changing, my dear.
431
00:15:04,182 --> 00:15:05,579
Check this out.
432
00:15:05,876 --> 00:15:08,944
Oh, what... stepping
up your game a little.
433
00:15:08,946 --> 00:15:11,917
Hey! Nice, open entrance.
434
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,449
What do you think?
435
00:15:15,674 --> 00:15:17,208
- Amazing, right?
- Hmm.
436
00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:19,142
- Right?
- It's beautiful.
437
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,479
I'm so happy you're doing well, Maronzio.
438
00:15:21,481 --> 00:15:24,580
No, we are doing well.
439
00:15:25,143 --> 00:15:26,950
I got this apartment for the two of us.
440
00:15:27,556 --> 00:15:28,953
- What?
- Yeah!
441
00:15:28,955 --> 00:15:31,354
I've thought about it.
This is what I want.
442
00:15:31,356 --> 00:15:32,891
For you and me to be together again.
443
00:15:32,893 --> 00:15:34,190
To start fresh!
444
00:15:34,192 --> 00:15:35,692
Maronzio, I can't remember
445
00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:37,995
when we were last in the same time zone.
446
00:15:37,997 --> 00:15:39,397
But we are now.
447
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,166
Really? Now you're doing all this?
448
00:15:42,919 --> 00:15:44,368
All these years you won't there for me.
449
00:15:44,370 --> 00:15:47,003
You weren't there for the
kids' birthdays, graduations...
450
00:15:47,005 --> 00:15:47,939
But I'm here now!
451
00:15:47,941 --> 00:15:50,373
Like, look at this apartment!
452
00:15:50,375 --> 00:15:52,376
The floors have radiant heat.
453
00:15:52,378 --> 00:15:54,711
It's radiant heat!
454
00:15:54,713 --> 00:15:56,980
You got an apartment
without talking to me!
455
00:15:56,982 --> 00:15:58,282
- And?
- Selfish.
456
00:15:58,284 --> 00:16:01,118
I have a job and a life 3,000 miles away.
457
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,247
Maronzio, when we first got together,
458
00:16:03,272 --> 00:16:05,256
you managed a rental car agency.
459
00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,164
I could wrap my mind around that.
460
00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:09,464
Then you had your dream
and I supported you.
461
00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:11,796
But what became clear
was that you cared more
462
00:16:11,798 --> 00:16:14,102
about your dream than you did about me.
463
00:16:14,233 --> 00:16:16,004
I've done some things I regret.
464
00:16:16,468 --> 00:16:18,296
You just said some things you regret.
465
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:21,271
But now we can move on.
466
00:16:21,407 --> 00:16:23,373
We can find a new apartment together.
467
00:16:23,557 --> 00:16:27,015
Maronzio, I came out here
to tell you in person.
468
00:16:27,787 --> 00:16:28,979
I'm getting married.
469
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,110
Yeah, to me!
470
00:16:32,217 --> 00:16:33,853
Mm-mmh.
471
00:16:37,222 --> 00:16:38,788
[Lori] Hey, honey.
472
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:40,556
I was gonna pick you up.
473
00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:44,094
Look, I got you your own Lakers jersey.
474
00:16:44,668 --> 00:16:46,915
Change of plans. We're
going to Costa Rica.
475
00:16:48,577 --> 00:16:49,944
Wait a minute, we talked about this.
476
00:16:49,945 --> 00:16:51,276
George, I have a private beach.
477
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,112
I flew down our favorite chef.
478
00:16:53,114 --> 00:16:54,914
And my plane is waiting in Van Nuys.
479
00:16:54,916 --> 00:16:56,638
So, we should get going.
480
00:16:56,820 --> 00:16:58,609
No, I don't wanna do that.
481
00:16:58,789 --> 00:17:01,599
Because, look, we're always
doing things your way.
482
00:17:01,624 --> 00:17:04,210
That German concert, Disney Hall,
483
00:17:04,259 --> 00:17:05,658
the restaurants you pick.
484
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:07,095
Hell, you own 'em.
485
00:17:07,705 --> 00:17:10,116
Tonight, I wanna do something my way.
486
00:17:12,045 --> 00:17:14,266
This is Richard Branson all over again.
487
00:17:14,268 --> 00:17:15,903
Everything is going great.
488
00:17:15,905 --> 00:17:17,570
I feel like I'm connecting.
489
00:17:17,572 --> 00:17:19,473
And then he can't handle
the fact that I'm who I am.
490
00:17:19,475 --> 00:17:21,107
Richard Branson, the
guy with the airplanes
491
00:17:21,109 --> 00:17:22,341
and rockets and stuff?
492
00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:25,211
And the inability to
let a woman be in charge.
493
00:17:26,072 --> 00:17:28,447
You know, I work harder and
make more than anyone I date.
494
00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:29,849
But at the end of the day,
495
00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,585
a guy can't feel like a real man
496
00:17:31,587 --> 00:17:33,020
if a woman is calling the shots?
497
00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:34,954
I don't think it's
about being a real man.
498
00:17:34,956 --> 00:17:36,622
I think it's just he
doesn't wanna be a cuck.
499
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,224
A... a... a... A what?
500
00:17:38,226 --> 00:17:40,393
I don't know, it's
nothing. Don't, it's...
501
00:17:40,723 --> 00:17:42,262
I really care about you, George.
502
00:17:42,990 --> 00:17:44,835
Yes, Lori, and I care about you.
503
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,399
I can't do this anymore.
504
00:17:47,401 --> 00:17:49,669
I'm... I'm sorry this isn't working out.
505
00:17:51,168 --> 00:17:52,495
What do you mean, that's it?
506
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,136
You're just... you just quit?
507
00:17:56,364 --> 00:17:58,053
Enjoy the game, George.
508
00:17:59,247 --> 00:18:00,565
[car door closes]
509
00:18:00,675 --> 00:18:02,276
[car starts]
510
00:18:02,662 --> 00:18:04,094
[driving away]
511
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:06,019
Wow. Ahem.
512
00:18:07,361 --> 00:18:09,122
Sorry about your girlfriend, jefe.
513
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:11,791
Yeah, thanks, Manolo.
514
00:18:11,793 --> 00:18:13,660
I'm so depressed, I don't
even feel like drinking.
515
00:18:13,662 --> 00:18:14,927
That's a first.
516
00:18:15,214 --> 00:18:16,862
I shoulda took you to the game.
517
00:18:16,864 --> 00:18:19,232
No, you know what, it would've
been like rubbing salt in the wound.
518
00:18:19,651 --> 00:18:21,635
I thought you were supposed
to pour salt in the wound.
519
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,080
That's lucky, right?
520
00:18:23,789 --> 00:18:25,141
Yeah, sure.
521
00:18:27,152 --> 00:18:29,986
Hmm, you couldn't go to the game
522
00:18:29,988 --> 00:18:31,655
because you have to
prepare for your final.
523
00:18:31,657 --> 00:18:33,055
But I can't even see.
524
00:18:33,057 --> 00:18:34,624
Mm-hmm, I know.
525
00:18:34,626 --> 00:18:37,293
That's why I got a surprise for you.
526
00:18:37,295 --> 00:18:39,062
- I got you a tutor.
- Hello, Manolo.
527
00:18:39,064 --> 00:18:41,141
- Miss Wendy!
- [chuckling]
528
00:18:41,141 --> 00:18:42,707
- Let's get to work.
- [doorbell chimes]
529
00:18:42,709 --> 00:18:44,776
- Let's get to work, baby.
- [knocking on door]
530
00:18:44,778 --> 00:18:45,943
I'll get that.
531
00:18:45,945 --> 00:18:47,026
It's good to see you.
532
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,459
I'm coming.
533
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,494
Hey, if these are Triumph
Seekers, I'm in no mood!
534
00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:54,318
What's going on? What are you doing here?
535
00:18:54,756 --> 00:18:56,255
[clears throat]
536
00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:58,023
Trouble, George.
537
00:18:58,025 --> 00:19:00,694
You know Jason Turner, our
network exec on "Valleys"?
538
00:19:00,696 --> 00:19:01,927
Yeah, the skinny dude.
539
00:19:01,929 --> 00:19:03,396
Well, his wife discovered
540
00:19:03,398 --> 00:19:05,098
that he was cheating on her
541
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,833
with my sister and our
creative exec, Rachel.
542
00:19:07,835 --> 00:19:09,001
Wait a minute, all three of them?
543
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:10,302
Well, technically, he was only
544
00:19:10,304 --> 00:19:11,705
cheating with Pfeiffer.
545
00:19:11,707 --> 00:19:13,638
But because Pfeiffer was
having sex with Rachel
546
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,641
at the exact same time, the
distinction was lost on Jason's wife.
547
00:19:15,643 --> 00:19:17,209
I don't care about that.
548
00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:18,497
What does that have to do with "Valleys"?
549
00:19:18,544 --> 00:19:19,545
Everything.
550
00:19:19,547 --> 00:19:21,046
The network shit-canned him.
551
00:19:21,048 --> 00:19:22,648
They fired him for having an affair?
552
00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:24,551
For having an affair that went very bad,
553
00:19:24,553 --> 00:19:27,192
very publicly, and involved employees.
554
00:19:27,217 --> 00:19:30,177
ABC has very clear codes of
conduct about this kind of thing.
555
00:19:30,247 --> 00:19:31,425
Well... what does that mean?
556
00:19:31,427 --> 00:19:33,126
Like, that it could be over?
557
00:19:33,142 --> 00:19:34,274
Who knows?
558
00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:36,266
I don't even know if
there still is a "Valleys".
559
00:19:36,268 --> 00:19:39,201
Okay, wait... Now you're talking crazy.
560
00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:41,071
I need a drink.
561
00:19:41,073 --> 00:19:42,659
Well, yeah.
562
00:19:44,129 --> 00:19:45,663
The whole world's crumbling.
563
00:19:45,665 --> 00:19:46,829
Hey, Manolo, make her a drink!
564
00:19:46,831 --> 00:19:48,030
[Manolo] Can't see!
565
00:19:48,032 --> 00:19:49,435
Feel around for the ice.
566
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:51,328
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
567
00:19:51,378 --> 00:19:55,928
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