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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:03,506 --> 00:00:08,477
Oooh, Sylvia made her
mashed
potatoes!
3
00:00:09,746 --> 00:00:12,414
- Yeah, they're pretty good.
- Good?
4
00:00:12,416 --> 00:00:15,283
They are like happiness in your mouth.
5
00:00:15,285 --> 00:00:18,520
So tasty, so life affirming.
6
00:00:18,522 --> 00:00:20,422
Oh, here it comes.
7
00:00:22,792 --> 00:00:24,926
Joey, are you crying right now?
8
00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:26,428
Oh.
9
00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:27,896
Full scoop.
10
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,932
Full scoop!
11
00:00:30,934 --> 00:00:35,237
Oh, sunglasses inside.
12
00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:38,640
For you, half scoop, Mr. Cool.
13
00:00:40,877 --> 00:00:41,943
Hi. (Laughing snort)
14
00:00:41,945 --> 00:00:44,246
Oh, miss Hollywood.
15
00:00:44,248 --> 00:00:46,348
You were singing in the line yesterday.
16
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:48,950
- Half scoop!
- Oh, well, no, no, no.
17
00:00:48,952 --> 00:00:50,886
See, that was my twin sister Liv.
18
00:00:50,888 --> 00:00:52,254
I personally can't sing.
19
00:00:52,256 --> 00:00:53,321
(Off-key)
sing it loud!
20
00:00:53,323 --> 00:00:54,923
See? (Chuckles)
21
00:00:54,925 --> 00:00:56,858
Please don't half-scoop me.
22
00:00:56,860 --> 00:01:00,462
- Okay, full scoop.
- Ahh!
23
00:01:00,464 --> 00:01:02,597
But never sing again.
24
00:01:02,599 --> 00:01:05,267
Ooh, I promise I will not.
25
00:01:06,002 --> 00:01:07,903
Careful, she's extra prickly today.
26
00:01:07,905 --> 00:01:09,538
Yeah, thanks for the warning.
27
00:01:09,540 --> 00:01:12,007
Hey, stank-breath.
28
00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:13,875
Hey, rat boy.
29
00:01:13,877 --> 00:01:17,245
You wish rats ate this garbage.
30
00:01:17,247 --> 00:01:18,980
(Laughs)
31
00:01:18,982 --> 00:01:21,716
You are very funny boy, Joey.
32
00:01:21,718 --> 00:01:24,252
For you I give special treat.
33
00:01:24,254 --> 00:01:30,258
The shop teacher make
for me a double scoop!
34
00:01:31,761 --> 00:01:33,595
Thank you, Syl!
35
00:01:34,897 --> 00:01:37,566
You know, I don't care what
everyone says about you.
36
00:01:37,568 --> 00:01:41,303
You are a black-hearted troll
with a horrible personality!
37
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,675
Oh, did I forget to mention?
38
00:01:46,677 --> 00:01:48,443
Syl's my girl!
39
00:01:49,512 --> 00:01:52,013
(Theme music playing)
40
00:01:52,015 --> 00:01:53,715
Better in stereo
41
00:01:53,717 --> 00:01:55,951
b... b... better
in stereo
42
00:01:55,953 --> 00:01:58,053
-
I'm up with the sunshine
-
Let's go
43
00:01:58,055 --> 00:01:59,688
-
I lace up my high tops
-
Oh no
44
00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:01,990
slam dunk, ready or not
45
00:02:01,992 --> 00:02:04,392
yeah, show me what you got
46
00:02:04,394 --> 00:02:06,728
-
I'm under the spotlight
-
Holler
47
00:02:06,730 --> 00:02:08,897
I dare you, come on and follow
48
00:02:08,899 --> 00:02:10,866
you dance to your own beat
49
00:02:10,868 --> 00:02:12,834
I'll sing the melody
50
00:02:12,836 --> 00:02:15,036
when you
say yea-ah-ah
51
00:02:15,038 --> 00:02:17,305
I say
no-oh-oh
52
00:02:17,307 --> 00:02:19,307
when you say stop
53
00:02:19,309 --> 00:02:21,843
all I want to do is go, go, go
54
00:02:21,845 --> 00:02:24,813
you, you, the other half of me, me
55
00:02:24,815 --> 00:02:27,048
the half I'll never be-ee
56
00:02:27,050 --> 00:02:30,051
the half that drives me crazy
57
00:02:30,053 --> 00:02:32,921
you, you, the better half of me, me
58
00:02:32,923 --> 00:02:35,724
the half I'll always need
59
00:02:35,726 --> 00:02:37,792
but we both know
60
00:02:37,794 --> 00:02:39,728
we're better in stereo
61
00:02:41,097 --> 00:02:44,065
(Cellphone ringing)
62
00:02:48,471 --> 00:02:50,906
- (Beeps)
- Diggie, hey!
63
00:02:50,908 --> 00:02:53,575
This is a surprise.
Hey, there's a little...
64
00:02:53,577 --> 00:02:55,343
you have... there's
something in your eyebrows.
65
00:02:55,345 --> 00:02:57,879
Oh yeah, that's...
that's frost.
66
00:02:57,881 --> 00:03:00,949
It's -30?? in Tundrabania right now,
67
00:03:00,951 --> 00:03:04,085
which means it's almost the
start of swimsuit season though!
68
00:03:04,087 --> 00:03:05,787
Huh?
69
00:03:05,789 --> 00:03:07,556
Uh, look, I really need a favor.
70
00:03:07,558 --> 00:03:09,991
The anniversary of the day
that I met Maddie is coming up.
71
00:03:09,993 --> 00:03:12,427
I know! Your meetaversary.
72
00:03:12,429 --> 00:03:14,029
- Maddie's so excited.
- I know, me too!
73
00:03:14,031 --> 00:03:16,998
Um, can you pick up her gift at
towner's sporting goods for me?
74
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,733
Sporting goods? (Gasps)
75
00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:20,468
Do they sell jewelry
at sporting goods stores
76
00:03:20,470 --> 00:03:22,003
in Wisconsin and nobody told me?
77
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,808
No. I'm getting her these
really cool sweatbands.
78
00:03:26,810 --> 00:03:28,643
Sweatbands. (Forced laugh)
79
00:03:28,645 --> 00:03:31,513
As in bands that hold sweat?
80
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,114
Yeah, I mean, I'd get them myself,
81
00:03:33,116 --> 00:03:35,050
but they don't sell
sweatbands in Tundrabania
82
00:03:35,052 --> 00:03:38,019
because here if you sweat,
you die from frostbite.
83
00:03:38,021 --> 00:03:39,721
(Forced laugh)
84
00:03:39,723 --> 00:03:43,725
And you're absolutely sure that
for your meetaversary with Maddie
85
00:03:43,727 --> 00:03:45,827
you want to get her sweatbands?
86
00:03:45,829 --> 00:03:48,029
Yeah, she's gonna love them.
87
00:03:48,031 --> 00:03:50,532
She's gonna hate them! Ugh.
88
00:03:50,534 --> 00:03:52,901
Diggie is such a boy.
89
00:03:52,903 --> 00:03:57,572
But you know what? This is Maddie's
relationship, so I'm not gonna butt in.
90
00:03:57,574 --> 00:04:00,508
Nope. My butt has... better things to do.
91
00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:02,711
Butting out! (Giggles)
92
00:04:02,713 --> 00:04:05,413
Ahhh. I'm totally butting in.
93
00:04:09,085 --> 00:04:11,052
- Hey, mom.
- Hello, sweetheart.
94
00:04:11,054 --> 00:04:13,421
(Boys scream)
95
00:04:14,557 --> 00:04:16,057
What have you done with my mom?
96
00:04:16,059 --> 00:04:18,193
Don't ask questions, Dr. P.
Just take that alien down.
97
00:04:18,195 --> 00:04:21,129
Parker, it's me!
98
00:04:21,131 --> 00:04:23,131
That's what an alien would say!
99
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:28,069
Tell us something only
Dr. P's mother would know.
100
00:04:28,071 --> 00:04:30,772
All right, I could tell
you Parker's middle name.
101
00:04:30,774 --> 00:04:32,040
No, mom, don't!
102
00:04:33,109 --> 00:04:35,076
What's wrong with your middle name?
103
00:04:35,078 --> 00:04:37,879
It's the worst middle name in
the history of middle names.
104
00:04:38,848 --> 00:04:40,915
Consider my interest piqued.
105
00:04:41,917 --> 00:04:46,087
Oh no! You're not finding out my
middle name. Let it go, people.
106
00:04:46,089 --> 00:04:49,024
Oh, I'm finding out.
The people want to know.
107
00:04:50,026 --> 00:04:53,194
Oh, mom, I can't believe you
put this stuff on your face.
108
00:04:53,196 --> 00:04:59,025
No! Okay, that tube cost $100
and this was a $50 squeeze.
109
00:04:59,056 --> 00:05:00,201
What?
110
00:05:00,203 --> 00:05:04,072
Can you believe how pricey that
is, Parker "Geraldine" Rooney?
111
00:05:05,875 --> 00:05:08,810
Geraldine? That'd be a step up.
112
00:05:10,046 --> 00:05:13,014
Mom, seriously, you're
spending 100 bucks on this
113
00:05:13,016 --> 00:05:15,116
and yet you won't buy the good bologna?
114
00:05:15,118 --> 00:05:17,252
Boy, all bologna is the same.
115
00:05:17,254 --> 00:05:20,055
- (Both gasp)
- She is an alien!
116
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:24,659
Give me his middle name
and I'll stand down.
117
00:05:24,661 --> 00:05:26,961
- Leslie?
- Are you done?
118
00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:33,868
Whew. (Squeals)
119
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:36,271
Okay.
120
00:05:36,273 --> 00:05:38,807
Facegabbing in...
121
00:05:38,809 --> 00:05:41,976
Five, four, three, two...
122
00:05:41,978 --> 00:05:44,979
Oh yeah-hhh
123
00:05:44,981 --> 00:05:48,583
Yeah, yeah, oh-hhh yeah
124
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,121
- What are you doing?
- Oh. I...
125
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:55,090
No, I thought you were counting me in.
126
00:05:56,058 --> 00:05:58,026
(Computer chimes)
127
00:05:58,028 --> 00:05:59,327
(Shivers) Hey, Rooney.
128
00:05:59,329 --> 00:06:01,563
S-s-s-sup?
129
00:06:01,565 --> 00:06:03,565
(Snorting laugh)
130
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:05,734
Sup?
131
00:06:05,736 --> 00:06:07,836
Listen, I only have a
few minutes to Facegab.
132
00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:10,038
The Tundrabanian Internet
is about to go offline.
133
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:13,942
What? No. We like barely
got to talk yesterday.
134
00:06:13,944 --> 00:06:16,277
I know. I'm bummed, too,
but it's third winter,
135
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,280
so it's even too cold for
satellite waves to be outside.
136
00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:23,618
Will we at least get to Facegab
for our meetaversary tomorrow?
137
00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:25,286
Oh, definitely. And...
138
00:06:25,288 --> 00:06:28,123
I sent you a little
something.
139
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:30,325
I sent you a gift too. Ha ha!
140
00:06:30,327 --> 00:06:32,160
I'm so excited. (Heaves)
141
00:06:32,162 --> 00:06:33,928
I put a lot of time and thought into it.
142
00:06:33,930 --> 00:06:37,156
Actually, I put more thought than time, because
after I sent it, I still thought about it.
143
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:39,567
I'm still thinking about it
right now. I'm so excited! Ha ha!
144
00:06:39,569 --> 00:06:42,070
O.M.Gift-inequality.
145
00:06:42,072 --> 00:06:45,140
Maddie's gonna give Diggie something
really sweet and meaningful,
146
00:06:45,142 --> 00:06:47,308
and all Diggie's gonna
give her is sweatbands.
147
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:50,345
Ugh. Maddie's gonna be so crushed.
148
00:06:50,347 --> 00:06:54,349
I mean, like sweat-free,
but just so crushed.
149
00:06:54,351 --> 00:06:56,751
I can't wait! Oh, you're
gonna love your gift.
150
00:06:56,753 --> 00:06:58,720
Not as much as you're
gonna love
mine!
151
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:01,289
- I don't know, mine's pretty great.
- Mine's relationship defining.
152
00:07:01,291 --> 00:07:03,024
- Well, mine's...
- (Electricity sparks)
153
00:07:03,026 --> 00:07:04,826
(Groans) Yes!
154
00:07:04,828 --> 00:07:06,728
I so totally won that, right?
155
00:07:07,997 --> 00:07:10,732
Oh, jock love is so weird.
156
00:07:11,801 --> 00:07:13,935
- What do you think he got me?
- What?
157
00:07:13,937 --> 00:07:16,337
Mm? Uh... why are you asking me?
158
00:07:16,339 --> 00:07:18,239
Why would I know that? (Nervous laugh)
159
00:07:18,241 --> 00:07:20,842
Why are you looking at me?
Five, four, three, two...
160
00:07:20,844 --> 00:07:22,210
oh yeah-hhh
161
00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:25,680
Yeah, yeah, oh-hhh
162
00:07:25,682 --> 00:07:27,182
Oh-hhh
163
00:07:33,389 --> 00:07:34,243
Hey, Sylvia.
164
00:07:34,274 --> 00:07:37,689
The circus called. They
want you back in your cage.
165
00:07:39,762 --> 00:07:43,198
Enjoy your double scoop, Mr. funny man.
166
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,767
Sylvia, what's that, uh...
what's that picture behind you?
167
00:07:46,969 --> 00:07:49,003
Sylvia: That's my dog Boris.
168
00:07:49,005 --> 00:07:50,872
Oh, dog?
169
00:07:50,874 --> 00:07:53,041
I thought someone pinned
that disgusting thing up
170
00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:54,342
to scare the cockroaches away.
171
00:07:56,111 --> 00:08:00,014
Did you just insult my Boris?
172
00:08:00,016 --> 00:08:03,184
My darling baby poochie pie?
173
00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:07,789
Oh.
174
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,157
What... what are you doing?
175
00:08:09,159 --> 00:08:11,993
For you, half scoop.
176
00:08:11,995 --> 00:08:14,028
No.
177
00:08:15,164 --> 00:08:17,098
Quarter scoop!
178
00:08:18,267 --> 00:08:20,668
I didn't even know there
was a quarter scoop.
179
00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:23,037
Ugh, oh.
180
00:08:23,039 --> 00:08:24,939
Oh, what is that?
181
00:08:24,941 --> 00:08:27,275
Aged pickled fish.
182
00:08:27,277 --> 00:08:32,780
In my country we serve to prisoners,
traitors and people who hurt my feelings.
183
00:08:34,016 --> 00:08:35,116
Come on.
184
00:08:35,118 --> 00:08:36,985
It's your boy Joe-Joe.
185
00:08:36,987 --> 00:08:39,320
Time to go-go, Joe-Joe.
186
00:08:39,322 --> 00:08:42,390
Sylvia, no-ooo!
187
00:08:42,392 --> 00:08:45,093
Sylvia-aaaa!
188
00:08:50,699 --> 00:08:52,901
(Bees buzzing)
189
00:08:56,739 --> 00:08:58,940
I would like to say this
is the weirdest thing
190
00:08:58,942 --> 00:09:00,441
I've ever seen in this backyard.
191
00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:02,377
But honestly, it's not even close.
192
00:09:03,913 --> 00:09:07,215
Welcome to the ground
floor of Dr. P's cosmetics.
193
00:09:07,217 --> 00:09:10,251
Our motto is "you give us
your loot, we make you cute."
194
00:09:11,487 --> 00:09:13,922
I looked at the ingredients
in your tube of beauty
195
00:09:13,924 --> 00:09:15,490
and realized we could make it ourselves.
196
00:09:15,492 --> 00:09:18,826
Wait, wait, you're making beauty products?
197
00:09:18,828 --> 00:09:20,929
It was easy. We just
had to farm some honey,
198
00:09:20,931 --> 00:09:22,497
get algae from Reggie's fish tank
199
00:09:22,499 --> 00:09:26,301
and go to the Stevens point
caverns to harvest bat poop.
200
00:09:28,003 --> 00:09:32,073
Now, you could go to the store
and pay $100 for face cream.
201
00:09:32,075 --> 00:09:34,275
Or...
202
00:09:34,277 --> 00:09:36,744
You can try our cream
for the low, low price
203
00:09:36,746 --> 00:09:38,279
of two months' worth of bologna.
204
00:09:38,281 --> 00:09:40,882
The good bologna.
205
00:09:42,151 --> 00:09:45,320
Wow. Homemade cosmetics from sixth
graders, how tempting. (Chuckles)
206
00:09:46,755 --> 00:09:51,755
Go ahead and be skeptical, but the only thing
you have to lose is years off your face.
207
00:09:51,761 --> 00:09:55,163
It works. I'm 25 but you'd never know it.
208
00:09:55,165 --> 00:09:57,098
(Giggles)
209
00:09:57,100 --> 00:09:59,233
Okay, I'll give it a try.
210
00:10:00,169 --> 00:10:02,270
Smart move, Mrs. Roondog.
211
00:10:02,272 --> 00:10:05,173
It's gonna make you more
beautiful than you already are.
212
00:10:05,175 --> 00:10:08,176
Oh, I am so close to telling
you Parker's middle name.
213
00:10:08,178 --> 00:10:09,067
- Mother!
- Huh?
214
00:10:09,098 --> 00:10:12,210
- I will release the bees on you.
- (Buzzing)
215
00:10:17,019 --> 00:10:18,853
- Elmer?
- Stop.
216
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:27,428
Oh, hi, honey. Feel my elbows.
217
00:10:29,398 --> 00:10:31,132
Weird, but I'm game.
218
00:10:31,134 --> 00:10:33,801
(Gasps) They're so smooth!
219
00:10:33,803 --> 00:10:37,071
Right? You should feel what
this cream did for my feet.
220
00:10:37,073 --> 00:10:38,272
Ew.
221
00:10:38,274 --> 00:10:39,273
Wait...
222
00:10:39,275 --> 00:10:41,209
No, ew.
223
00:10:42,411 --> 00:10:44,278
Mom, I need to talk to you about something.
224
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:44,847
Oh.
225
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,115
So, Diggie asked me to help
pick up a gift for Maddie.
226
00:10:47,117 --> 00:10:49,851
Oh, that is so sweet. What did he get her?
227
00:10:49,853 --> 00:10:53,287
Um... Sweatbands.
228
00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:55,289
- No!
- Yes.
229
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:58,126
This is Diggie's idea of a romantic gift.
230
00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,561
Ugh, boys!
231
00:11:00,563 --> 00:11:05,433
You know, for our first wedding anniversary
your father got me a step stool.
232
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:08,503
Okay, and don't you wish
233
00:11:08,505 --> 00:11:12,006
dad had had a helper to stop that
gift disaster before it happened?
234
00:11:12,008 --> 00:11:14,142
- Every time I change a light bulb.
- Ha!
235
00:11:14,144 --> 00:11:17,311
Okay, good, because I sort of
helped Diggie with Maddie's gift
236
00:11:17,313 --> 00:11:20,214
even though he doesn't know I
helped him. Is that totally wrong?
237
00:11:20,216 --> 00:11:22,183
Because I got this and
I think it's super cute.
238
00:11:22,185 --> 00:11:25,019
Oh, that is an adorable
ridgewood porcupine.
239
00:11:26,388 --> 00:11:28,556
You did a very nice thing for your sister.
240
00:11:28,558 --> 00:11:29,345
Thanks, mom.
241
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:32,493
Although it does feel like
something's missing, doesn't it?
242
00:11:32,495 --> 00:11:35,363
How about we lose the sweatbands and add...
243
00:11:35,365 --> 00:11:37,265
- This.
- Oh.
244
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:40,101
- Ahhh.
- Oh.
245
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:42,203
You're welcome, Diggie.
246
00:11:42,205 --> 00:11:44,338
Do you always have a tiara in your bag?
247
00:11:44,340 --> 00:11:47,008
- You never know when you might need one.
- Mm-hmm.
248
00:11:50,245 --> 00:11:53,081
Hey. What's up, hobbit?
249
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:57,251
Something's different. Did
you start bathing with soap?
250
00:12:00,022 --> 00:12:02,490
You insulted Boris.
251
00:12:02,492 --> 00:12:04,258
Quarter scoop.
252
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:06,227
Next!
253
00:12:06,229 --> 00:12:12,233
I was starving, and not just for food, but
also for the chit-chat over chipped beef.
254
00:12:12,235 --> 00:12:16,971
So I decided to take a page from
Liv and Maddie's twin book.
255
00:12:16,973 --> 00:12:20,108
Boris? Your darling baby poochie pie?
256
00:12:20,110 --> 00:12:22,076
Sylvia, Syl, Syl.
257
00:12:22,078 --> 00:12:24,645
I would never make fun of him.
258
00:12:24,647 --> 00:12:26,314
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
259
00:12:27,483 --> 00:12:30,051
Was my identical twin
brother here yesterday?
260
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:33,154
You don't have an identical twin.
261
00:12:33,156 --> 00:12:35,389
Sure I do. His name is Michael.
262
00:12:35,391 --> 00:12:38,259
He just got back from Europe
where he's been studying chess.
263
00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:43,030
He enjoys strudel making and pretending
to be me and ruining my good name!
264
00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,634
You never mentioned a twin before.
265
00:12:46,636 --> 00:12:49,170
Yeah? You never mentioned the
hair coming out of your ears,
266
00:12:49,172 --> 00:12:51,072
but we both know it's there.
267
00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:56,177
If you really have a twin, you bring
him here tomorrow to apologize!
268
00:12:57,112 --> 00:12:58,780
Oh.
269
00:12:58,782 --> 00:13:01,382
You want my identical
twin brother here tomorrow.
270
00:13:01,384 --> 00:13:03,217
Okay. Not a problem.
271
00:13:03,219 --> 00:13:06,287
So how about a double scoop
of those fluffy mashed potatoes
272
00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:07,722
as a show of good faith?
273
00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,660
You're right. Tomorrow's perfect.
274
00:13:12,662 --> 00:13:14,395
(Forced laugh, sobs)
275
00:13:19,134 --> 00:13:22,136
Oh yes! My meetaversary
gift from Diggie is here!
276
00:13:24,339 --> 00:13:26,207
Nope, no.
277
00:13:26,209 --> 00:13:30,244
He wants to open these
together over Facegab.
278
00:13:30,246 --> 00:13:33,714
I can do that. I'm a
very patient individual.
279
00:13:36,652 --> 00:13:39,187
But not today because
it's our meetaversary!
280
00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:40,655
Ahh!
281
00:13:40,657 --> 00:13:45,059
I was so happy to give Maddie and
Diggie the greatest meetaversary ever.
282
00:13:45,061 --> 00:13:50,131
I bet that cute little porcupine is
sopping wet with tears of joy right now.
283
00:13:55,437 --> 00:13:57,572
Hey!
284
00:13:57,574 --> 00:13:59,340
Hey-yyy.
285
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:04,078
Um, wow.
286
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,247
Looks like a crime scene in here.
287
00:14:06,249 --> 00:14:07,548
What happened?
288
00:14:07,550 --> 00:14:09,250
Love died.
289
00:14:11,453 --> 00:14:15,089
Yeah. Diggie sent me this
stupid stuffed porcupine,
290
00:14:15,091 --> 00:14:17,124
and I thought it was a gag and
there was something good inside,
291
00:14:17,126 --> 00:14:19,427
so I tore it apart. And when
there was nothing good inside
292
00:14:19,429 --> 00:14:21,195
I tore it apart some more.
293
00:14:22,564 --> 00:14:26,367
Uh, why is a stuffed porcupine stupid?
294
00:14:26,369 --> 00:14:29,170
I mean, you two are both
Ridgewood porcupines.
295
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:33,374
That sounds really meaningful and-and...
and touching to me.
296
00:14:33,376 --> 00:14:37,511
Well, not compared to the incredibly
meaningful gift that I sent him.
297
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:41,082
What did you send him?
298
00:14:41,084 --> 00:14:43,150
Please don't be sweatbands.
Please don't be sweatbands.
299
00:14:43,152 --> 00:14:45,553
Please don't be sweatbands.
Please don't be sweatbands.
300
00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:47,622
- I got him sweatbands.
- No!
301
00:14:47,624 --> 00:14:49,156
(Gasps)
302
00:14:51,693 --> 00:14:54,629
No... way.
303
00:14:54,631 --> 00:14:56,664
Ha! Sweatbands.
304
00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:59,200
What a great gift.
305
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,202
Why is that a great gift?
306
00:15:03,272 --> 00:15:07,375
Okay, this is gonna sound really silly,
but the day that Diggie and I met
307
00:15:07,377 --> 00:15:11,112
I had just finished whipping
him in basketball and...
308
00:15:13,548 --> 00:15:17,251
Hey, sweaty. You just lost to
someone a foot shorter than you.
309
00:15:27,329 --> 00:15:29,230
Better get a rematch, Rooney.
310
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:30,698
(Snorting giggle)
311
00:15:32,768 --> 00:15:39,173
Ohhh, sweatbands have huge emotional
meanings and ramifications and nuances.
312
00:15:40,108 --> 00:15:44,879
Yeah, but I guess the whole thing
just meant nothing to him.
313
00:15:44,881 --> 00:15:47,281
I kinda feel like an idiot.
314
00:15:49,751 --> 00:15:52,219
Maddie...
315
00:15:53,689 --> 00:15:56,290
Hi. So I have something to tell you.
316
00:15:56,292 --> 00:15:58,259
(Chuckling) And get ready to laugh.
317
00:15:59,594 --> 00:16:02,129
Yeah, she... did not laugh.
318
00:16:02,131 --> 00:16:04,198
Liv, how could you?
319
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,134
Well, the good news is you don't
have to be mad at Diggie anymore.
320
00:16:07,136 --> 00:16:09,537
Uh, you're right. I'm not
mad at Diggie. I'm mad at you!
321
00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:11,639
- But I was just trying to help.
- Well, you didn't!
322
00:16:11,641 --> 00:16:13,874
Because of you, when Diggie Facegabbed me
323
00:16:13,876 --> 00:16:16,477
I yelled, "how could you be so
stupid?" And then I hung up on him.
324
00:16:16,479 --> 00:16:19,280
What? No, um, okay.
325
00:16:19,282 --> 00:16:21,261
We'll just call him
back. We'll make it right.
326
00:16:21,292 --> 00:16:24,251
Well, I can't! The Tundrabanian
Internet is down until tomorrow.
327
00:16:24,253 --> 00:16:26,387
Liv, you've ruined my meetaversary.
328
00:16:27,389 --> 00:16:29,323
- Well, I didn't mean...
- Well, you did!
329
00:16:29,325 --> 00:16:32,226
Can you just stay out of
my relationship with Diggie
330
00:16:32,228 --> 00:16:34,628
and while you're at it, might
as well stay out of my life!
331
00:16:42,371 --> 00:16:45,172
(Mimicking French accent)
Uh huh huh! Greetings, madame.
332
00:16:45,174 --> 00:16:50,578
I am Michael, Joey's twin, the
jokester who you found not so funny.
333
00:16:50,580 --> 00:16:52,413
(Laughs)
334
00:16:52,415 --> 00:16:54,582
Mmm, you look like Joey.
335
00:16:54,584 --> 00:16:56,584
Oh, we're identical twins.
336
00:16:56,586 --> 00:16:58,386
What aren't you understanding about this?
337
00:16:58,388 --> 00:17:01,222
Anyway, please accept my apology.
338
00:17:01,224 --> 00:17:05,760
Your dog is adorable. There is
no need to punish my brother Joey,
339
00:17:05,762 --> 00:17:10,364
of whom I am identical to,
and sometimes pretend to be.
340
00:17:12,367 --> 00:17:16,637
When you insult Boris,
you no talk with accent.
341
00:17:16,639 --> 00:17:20,341
Well, this is all part of
the ruse to pretend I am Joey.
342
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:21,442
(Exhales)
343
00:17:21,444 --> 00:17:22,843
(Normal accent) Nerd stuff.
344
00:17:22,845 --> 00:17:25,212
What is happening? Booyah!
345
00:17:25,214 --> 00:17:28,315
(Sighs) Huh huh huh!
346
00:17:29,684 --> 00:17:32,653
Get Joey. I want to see him too.
347
00:17:32,655 --> 00:17:35,356
Oh. Joey?
348
00:17:35,358 --> 00:17:39,293
My pleasure. Once again,
your dog is magnifique!
349
00:17:42,230 --> 00:17:43,297
Hey. (Laughs)
350
00:17:44,332 --> 00:17:45,966
Michael said you wanted to see me.
351
00:17:45,968 --> 00:17:48,736
You are both wearing the same outfit.
352
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:52,940
Oh, uh, well, our mother used
to dress us alike as kids,
353
00:17:52,942 --> 00:17:55,309
and Michael never grew out of it.
354
00:17:56,812 --> 00:18:01,923
I want to see you and your brother
together at the same time.
355
00:18:01,954 --> 00:18:04,285
O...Kay. (Chuckles)
356
00:18:04,287 --> 00:18:06,887
I'll get him. But for the
record, you have trust issues
357
00:18:06,889 --> 00:18:08,756
that you really need to work through.
358
00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:15,329
Here we are, Sylvia, me and my
identical twin brother Michael.
359
00:18:15,331 --> 00:18:17,398
(Flatly) Cute dog, huh huh huh.
360
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,967
(Mimics accent) Huh huh huh!
361
00:18:21,036 --> 00:18:23,270
You're not buying any of this, are you?
362
00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:25,706
No, but I wanted to see how far
you were going to go with it.
363
00:18:30,045 --> 00:18:33,781
Look, Sylvia, I didn't know you
would be so sensitive about your dog.
364
00:18:33,783 --> 00:18:35,049
I'm really, really sorry.
365
00:18:35,051 --> 00:18:39,420
Tell me what I gotta do to get
us back to how we used to be.
366
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:43,491
It's not me that you have to apologize to.
367
00:18:49,431 --> 00:18:56,470
Okay, is it just me or is Boris maybe,
slightly, just a little bit dead?
368
00:18:57,873 --> 00:18:59,807
He lives on in my heart.
369
00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:01,408
Now apologize.
370
00:19:04,312 --> 00:19:07,982
Boris, please accept my apology.
371
00:19:07,984 --> 00:19:12,319
Now make smoochy-woochy
with my poochie poochie.
372
00:19:14,756 --> 00:19:16,390
Mwah!
373
00:19:17,893 --> 00:19:20,027
Mmm-mwuah!
374
00:19:20,029 --> 00:19:22,696
(Spitting) Ugh!
375
00:19:22,698 --> 00:19:23,998
We good now, butt-breath?
376
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,501
Oh, I am good, but you probably have fleas.
377
00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:35,342
So, your mom liked the skin cream.
378
00:19:35,344 --> 00:19:38,712
Yep, and I'm up to my ears in bologna.
379
00:19:39,714 --> 00:19:43,417
And not just any bologna,
lundsford's ranch bologna.
380
00:19:43,419 --> 00:19:44,718
The best bologna of all!
381
00:19:46,621 --> 00:19:48,522
More bologna-ade?
382
00:19:50,358 --> 00:19:51,792
I'd be delighted.
383
00:20:00,635 --> 00:20:02,036
Karen: Parker!
384
00:20:02,038 --> 00:20:04,705
Ooh, she sounds mad.
385
00:20:05,807 --> 00:20:07,041
Guard the bologna!
386
00:20:07,043 --> 00:20:09,043
(Door opens)
387
00:20:16,952 --> 00:20:19,019
Whoa. What happened?
388
00:20:19,021 --> 00:20:21,121
Your cream happened.
389
00:20:21,123 --> 00:20:23,991
Reggie, you will now
hear Parker's middle name.
390
00:20:23,993 --> 00:20:26,026
- No, mom, no!
- Yes.
391
00:20:26,028 --> 00:20:28,862
Parker's middle name is...
392
00:20:28,864 --> 00:20:30,931
It's bad enough that my best friend knows.
393
00:20:30,933 --> 00:20:32,733
You guys aren't finding out.
394
00:20:32,735 --> 00:20:36,403
(Laughing) Oh man, you hate your son.
395
00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:41,909
Well, I never intended his name to
be punishment, but I'm glad it is!
396
00:20:41,911 --> 00:20:45,112
I can't wait to tell everyone
at school your name is Parker...
397
00:20:45,114 --> 00:20:48,015
Nothing to see here, people. Move along!
398
00:20:50,619 --> 00:20:52,886
(Groans, bangs keys)
399
00:20:52,888 --> 00:20:54,154
Hey, what are you doing?
400
00:20:54,156 --> 00:20:56,848
Trying to get Diggie back on
Facegab for 24 hours now.
401
00:20:56,879 --> 00:20:57,791
(Bangs keys)
402
00:20:57,793 --> 00:20:59,727
Okay, be careful with your computer.
403
00:20:59,729 --> 00:21:01,028
(Bangs) It's Liv's.
404
00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:02,096
Oh, okay, carry on.
405
00:21:04,966 --> 00:21:06,934
Okay, Maddie.
406
00:21:06,936 --> 00:21:10,070
I am so sorry that I
messed up your meetaversary,
407
00:21:10,072 --> 00:21:12,573
but I got you a second gift and I
think it's gonna really make up for it.
408
00:21:12,575 --> 00:21:14,875
Liv, I don't want another gift from you.
409
00:21:14,877 --> 00:21:17,544
And there is absolutely nothing that
you can do to make this up to me.
410
00:21:17,546 --> 00:21:18,979
No, no, no, okay, listen, Maddie.
411
00:21:18,981 --> 00:21:21,048
I know what I did wrong. I
should have put the sweatbands
412
00:21:21,050 --> 00:21:22,883
on the porcupine before I gave it to you.
413
00:21:22,885 --> 00:21:25,052
Liv, I never wanted a porcupine.
414
00:21:25,054 --> 00:21:26,887
Are you sure?
415
00:21:26,889 --> 00:21:28,689
Not even...
416
00:21:28,691 --> 00:21:30,691
This porcupine?
417
00:21:35,030 --> 00:21:37,064
Happy meetaversary, Rooney.
418
00:21:37,066 --> 00:21:38,699
Diggie!
419
00:21:40,068 --> 00:21:42,236
Wow. Oh wow, you're still cold.
420
00:21:42,238 --> 00:21:45,039
Yeah, I've been told that
stays with you for a while.
421
00:21:46,041 --> 00:21:47,741
How are you even here right now?
422
00:21:47,743 --> 00:21:50,644
I actually contacted the
Tundrabanian consulate,
423
00:21:50,646 --> 00:21:53,113
and they agreed to fly
Diggie out for the weekend.
424
00:21:53,115 --> 00:21:56,950
The only catch is that I do have to do a
concert there over my spring break, but...
425
00:21:56,952 --> 00:21:59,787
Oh, spring break, yeah.
That's their fourth winter.
426
00:21:59,789 --> 00:22:01,655
There are seven.
427
00:22:02,691 --> 00:22:04,091
Each one colder than the last.
428
00:22:05,593 --> 00:22:07,661
Liv, thank you so much
for doing this for us.
429
00:22:07,663 --> 00:22:09,596
This is the best meetaversary gift ever.
430
00:22:09,598 --> 00:22:11,632
O...Kay.
431
00:22:15,870 --> 00:22:17,604
- (Maddie laughing)
- Oh, oh, oh!
432
00:22:17,606 --> 00:22:20,841
- What's that, Rooney? Swish...!
- Ohhh!
433
00:22:21,836 --> 00:22:23,677
Are you sure you don't
want to take this off...
434
00:22:23,679 --> 00:22:27,214
Hey, whoa, ahh, still... still cold.
435
00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:31,018
This is really nice.
436
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:35,055
Yeah. I kinda got used to
just seeing you on a computer.
437
00:22:36,791 --> 00:22:41,528
Yeah, now we're all up close and
personal, for like a few days.
438
00:22:43,164 --> 00:22:45,132
Um...
439
00:22:45,134 --> 00:22:50,104
You know our... our first
kiss was over the computer.
440
00:22:51,706 --> 00:22:55,943
I was kinda wondering maybe what
it would be like in person.
441
00:22:57,011 --> 00:22:59,079
Yeah, me too.
442
00:23:02,050 --> 00:23:04,017
Diggie, my man! Ha ha!
443
00:23:04,019 --> 00:23:05,986
Mmm!
444
00:23:05,988 --> 00:23:08,088
Are you in town just for me?
445
00:23:08,090 --> 00:23:11,125
Oh, you know tomorrow's our meetaversary.
446
00:23:11,127 --> 00:23:12,326
Come here.
447
00:23:12,376 --> 00:23:16,926
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