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1
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It's a bit of a shock. Yes.
2
00:00:51,860 --> 00:00:56,060
For both of us. For all of us.
I mean, Gillian, too. Yes. Yes.
3
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,540
I didn't sleep much last night.
4
00:01:05,580 --> 00:01:07,220
Yeah...
5
00:01:09,060 --> 00:01:10,540
I didn't want to, erm...
6
00:01:11,820 --> 00:01:13,220
I just...
7
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Sorry. I realise I don't actually
have anything to say as such.
8
00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:22,420
It's just, I was intrigued to meet
you. To see you, I suppose.
9
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That's all. She never told me she was...
10
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,900
Your mum, she never...
Did Gillian tell you?
11
00:01:36,340 --> 00:01:40,815
Gillian's lovely, by the way. Oh! Well.
12
00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:43,940
So funny. So sweet.
So uncomplicated.
13
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,500
Her heart's in the right place.
14
00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:55,460
So, what was he upset for?
I thought he never wanted it.
15
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,255
Well, no. He didn't.
16
00:01:57,260 --> 00:02:01,575
I don't know, I've had all this
second-hand from Caroline.
17
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:04,700
Still, I suppose
if it was nearly full-term.
18
00:02:04,705 --> 00:02:07,820
God knows what
she must have gone through.
19
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:12,415
Are they even together still?
I mean, were they ever,
20
00:02:12,420 --> 00:02:14,540
really actually?
After a certain point?
21
00:02:14,545 --> 00:02:17,815
God knows.
She's cleared off, anyway.
22
00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:21,215
She's gone to live with her sister
in St Albans.
23
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:24,700
And he's been sleeping
in Caroline's spare room again.
24
00:02:24,705 --> 00:02:27,575
Apparently. Really? Hm.
25
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:31,220
She's very good to him, Caroline,
given what a bugger he's been.
26
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:36,860
If it was me, he'd not darken
the doorstep ever again.
27
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,540
No. No. No.
28
00:02:42,180 --> 00:02:46,100
How... Can I ask how you met?
29
00:02:46,105 --> 00:02:51,735
Erm... Well, I married Eileen,
Gillian's mum in 1957.
30
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:55,495
But the woman
I really wanted to marry,
31
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,580
the woman I was in love with,
32
00:02:57,585 --> 00:03:00,620
she'd stood me up.
Except she hadn't.
33
00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:04,300
She left me a message.
34
00:03:04,305 --> 00:03:08,575
Only I never got it. Celia.
35
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,140
That's right.
36
00:03:12,060 --> 00:03:16,335
I was very fond of Eileen.
But, truth is,
37
00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:18,815
I got engaged to
her on the rebound.
38
00:03:18,820 --> 00:03:23,575
I don't think we'd have called it that
then, and I certainly wasn't aware that
39
00:03:23,580 --> 00:03:26,260
that's what I was doing.
But...yeah.
40
00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:29,460
Then I met your mum.
41
00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:34,020
At Jessops Chemicals.
Up Huddersfield.
42
00:03:34,025 --> 00:03:38,580
She was a secretary.
And she reminded me of Celia.
43
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,300
The second I saw her,
everything about her,
44
00:03:43,305 --> 00:03:47,060
the way her eyes lit up
when she smiled.
45
00:03:47,065 --> 00:03:49,175
Way she walked.
46
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:53,540
I felt that same feeling I felt
when I was with Celia. It was...
47
00:03:53,545 --> 00:03:55,495
I don't know.
48
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:58,620
Like...the world lit up.
49
00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:06,175
And we were weak, we were daft,
we were old enough to know better,
50
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,980
it shouldn't have happened.
51
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:11,220
But it did.
52
00:04:12,900 --> 00:04:16,420
Then she left.
And I never saw her again.
53
00:04:18,020 --> 00:04:19,940
Did you TRY to see her again?
54
00:04:21,620 --> 00:04:22,900
No.
55
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:28,780
I suppose...if I HAD known...
56
00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:35,495
..I'd like to think that
I'd have done the right thing.
57
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:39,815
It would have been more
complicated, obviously.
58
00:04:39,820 --> 00:04:44,340
No, she should have told me.
She should have told me at the time.
59
00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:48,860
How ever difficult it might have
been for everybody.
60
00:04:57,260 --> 00:05:01,775
So you're not coming to this...
"wedding" then?
61
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:05,540
She did ask me.
Only I said we were busy.
62
00:05:05,545 --> 00:05:07,180
And aren't you?
63
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,335
I don't think she really
wanted me there.
64
00:05:10,340 --> 00:05:12,820
I think she only invited me
cos she thought she should.
65
00:05:12,825 --> 00:05:15,095
I think you're being
a bit sensitive.
66
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:18,580
If she didn't want you, she wouldn't
ask you, you know what she's like.
67
00:05:18,585 --> 00:05:20,375
Who else is going?
68
00:05:20,380 --> 00:05:24,895
William's coming up from Oxford,
a few people from school,
69
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:27,140
a couple of her pals from Oxford,
70
00:05:27,145 --> 00:05:30,255
and I don't know
about Kate's family.
71
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:35,620
It's only small, it's all a bit last
minute, not everyone's available.
72
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:39,620
Our Muriel's in Corfu, sadly.
73
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:44,135
So... John's living at the house.
74
00:05:44,140 --> 00:05:47,540
And Kate's on leave now,
so she's at home all day...
75
00:05:47,545 --> 00:05:51,695
with John. Well, yeah. Presumably.
76
00:05:51,700 --> 00:05:55,900
Cos he's never at work, is he?
I don't know why they pay him.
77
00:05:59,980 --> 00:06:01,980
Contractions are good.
78
00:06:01,985 --> 00:06:06,135
They're painful,
but they're on your side.
79
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:09,220
Your contractions happen
when your uterus contracts,
80
00:06:09,225 --> 00:06:12,900
and that's what dilates,
or opens, the cervix.
81
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:19,695
Now, dads. During labour,
82
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:23,780
you may find it distressing to see
your partner in so much pain.
83
00:06:23,785 --> 00:06:27,100
Is this your first, not your first?
84
00:06:28,700 --> 00:06:32,615
It's...it's...it's not my first.
It's Kate's first.
85
00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:36,735
So you'll know what I'm talking
about. It is distressing,
86
00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:41,060
but you just being there, gently
encouraging her to keep going,
87
00:06:41,065 --> 00:06:42,660
that is so important.
88
00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:48,980
It's...it's not actually mine,
as such, I'm just...
89
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:53,380
Kate's my wife's girlfriend.
90
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:03,380
OK... So, let's talk about pain relief.
91
00:07:31,580 --> 00:07:36,175
We're back! Dad! Ooh, my feet.
92
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:40,500
Calamity, you're getting heavier by the
hour. I'm making you some tea. Well...
93
00:07:41,740 --> 00:07:44,100
..I think I've spent up, Alan!
94
00:07:44,105 --> 00:07:48,500
You'd better not have.
Not if we're thinking about this
95
00:07:48,505 --> 00:07:50,660
Australasian adventure.
96
00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:55,375
Are we serious? I am if you are.
97
00:07:55,380 --> 00:08:00,220
Why are we whispering? Is it a secret?
No...
98
00:08:01,660 --> 00:08:04,060
So, have you been busy?
99
00:08:04,065 --> 00:08:07,095
No. No. No.
100
00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:11,340
Right, I'll pop all this lot
upstairs, then I can relax.
101
00:08:11,345 --> 00:08:13,380
Can you manage? Oh, yes.
102
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:18,100
Tea? Coffee? Jaeger bomb?
Tea, thanks, love.
103
00:08:21,700 --> 00:08:26,340
Have you had a nice time?
Clothes shopping with my mother-in-law.
104
00:08:26,345 --> 00:08:28,380
Step-mother.
105
00:08:28,385 --> 00:08:31,735
Yeah, yeah.
106
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:33,420
It was a bit of a laugh.
107
00:08:37,740 --> 00:08:39,975
How did you get on? Fine.
108
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:44,340
Yeah? Like you said,
he seems like a very nice fella.
109
00:08:44,345 --> 00:08:45,940
Yeah. Yeah.
110
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,735
He's odd. What?
111
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:52,340
I felt like I knew him. Yeah.
112
00:08:52,345 --> 00:08:56,535
Yeah. So did I.
From the moment I saw his face.
113
00:08:56,540 --> 00:09:00,055
So, what did he say,
what did he want? Nothing.
114
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:03,620
I didn't think he did. I think he
just... Just wanted to talk, yeah.
115
00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:07,095
I wish I could've stopped with
him longer, but...
116
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,620
Any road, he asked me
if we'd like to go have a meal.
117
00:09:10,625 --> 00:09:13,095
Meet Felicity. His wife.
118
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:17,975
Oh, so he is married, then?
Yeah. They've two girls.
119
00:09:17,980 --> 00:09:22,300
He meant all of us - you,
me, Raff, Ellie, Calamity.
120
00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:28,175
Celia. He said he'd like to meet Celia.
I said...
121
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,860
"Well, I haven't told her yet."
122
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:36,095
So...? Oh, I don't know.
123
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,660
You have got to tell her.
I had Caroline on t'phone
124
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:42,540
a couple of days ago and she said if
we... If you don't tell Celia, she will.
125
00:09:42,545 --> 00:09:46,060
What the hell were you doing
telling Caroline for?
126
00:09:46,065 --> 00:09:49,975
I told you!
And, look, she wasn't being nasty.
127
00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:53,735
To be fair to her, it's cos
she knows how upset Celia was
128
00:09:53,740 --> 00:09:57,740
when she found out about Kenneth.
Knowing she'd been...
129
00:09:57,745 --> 00:10:02,735
cheated on. Lied to.
And isn't it best to be honest?
130
00:10:02,740 --> 00:10:06,455
Really? And coming from you sooner
rather than later.
131
00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:11,060
I told Caroline you wanted to meet him
first. And then you'd tell her. Celia.
132
00:10:11,065 --> 00:10:15,700
She was fine with that.
But now you have met him...
133
00:10:15,705 --> 00:10:19,055
So... OK.
134
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:22,220
So? Yeah, I'll tell her.
135
00:10:22,225 --> 00:10:26,220
When? Soon. Soon!
136
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:32,140
Well,
why did you let him go with you?
137
00:10:32,145 --> 00:10:36,780
Because... I don't know!
He just tagged along and, of course,
138
00:10:36,785 --> 00:10:38,540
I was daft enough to feel
sorry for him.
139
00:10:38,545 --> 00:10:41,535
I should've said,
right in front of everyone,
140
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,820
"She's not your wife, she's your
ex-wife John, you're divorced."
141
00:10:44,825 --> 00:10:47,575
Yes, you should've done.
"She's my wife's girlfriend."
142
00:10:47,580 --> 00:10:50,220
"She's my wife. Very nearly.
And you're..." I don't know.
143
00:10:50,225 --> 00:10:54,660
A friend of the family. Well. No. He's
more than that, he's the father of...
144
00:10:54,665 --> 00:10:56,060
Still...
145
00:10:57,300 --> 00:10:58,780
..we don't need to split hairs.
146
00:10:58,785 --> 00:11:01,695
"I know you've had an upset.
But can I just be blunt?
147
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,975
"You really,
really need to move out, John.
148
00:11:03,980 --> 00:11:08,575
"Before me and Caroline get married".
Yes, well, good. You should've said it.
149
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,895
He's got all that money
we've begged, borrowed,
150
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:13,860
and stolen to buy his half of the
house. What's the problem?
151
00:11:13,865 --> 00:11:18,620
I don't think we've stolen anything,
have we? Whatever.
152
00:11:19,660 --> 00:11:22,860
What is the problem? Just say it.
153
00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:28,900
Can't you? Sure.
154
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,140
Yes! Damn.
155
00:11:49,900 --> 00:11:51,540
I'll deal with it later.
156
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:57,860
I WILL deal with it later.
They're... playing a game.
157
00:12:02,020 --> 00:12:06,860
If I go into labour, he comes nowhere
near that hospital. Course he won't!
158
00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:11,220
What's the matter? I don't know.
159
00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:15,180
I don't know,
maybe I'm just frightened.
160
00:12:16,980 --> 00:12:18,660
Don't be frightened.
161
00:12:21,860 --> 00:12:26,855
I'm not that much younger than Judith.
Judith's an alcoholic.
162
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:30,980
What if there's something wrong with it?
There won't be. Why would there be?
163
00:12:30,985 --> 00:12:34,980
And if there is, we'll deal
with it. But there won't be. So.
164
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,100
And you WILL get rid of him?
165
00:12:40,940 --> 00:12:45,660
I will ask him... to leave.
166
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:55,540
Oh, God. I ought to ring my mum.
167
00:13:08,340 --> 00:13:11,780
Hello? 'Mum, hi. It's me. How are you?'
168
00:13:11,785 --> 00:13:16,620
Very well, love.
'Good. Good. Good, how's Alan?'
169
00:13:16,625 --> 00:13:21,620
Alan? He's fine. Caroline says,
"How's Alan?" He's fine, love.
170
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:24,455
'Good. So, er...'
171
00:13:24,460 --> 00:13:29,375
Good. So I've got nothing fresh
that I can think of. Have you?
172
00:13:29,380 --> 00:13:30,900
'No...I don't think so.'
173
00:13:30,905 --> 00:13:34,855
Have we got anything fresh, Alan?
No. No. No
174
00:13:34,860 --> 00:13:39,020
He's not told her.
'We thought we'd drive over'
175
00:13:39,025 --> 00:13:42,415
on Friday,
the day before the wedding,
176
00:13:42,420 --> 00:13:46,260
'then if there's anything
you want doing, I can help out.'
177
00:13:46,265 --> 00:13:51,020
Right. Good. Thank you. DOOR SLAMS SHUT
Is that Ellie?
178
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:55,780
Did you decide
on your outfit? Hello, love.
179
00:13:55,785 --> 00:13:58,415
Where've you been?
Supermarket. Greenhough's.
180
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,655
Not answering your phone.
Oh, have ya been ringing?
181
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:03,100
Oggy said you had an argument
with Mr Epplewhite. I did.
182
00:14:03,105 --> 00:14:04,775
Which one's he?
Politics.
183
00:14:04,780 --> 00:14:07,060
I told him he can shove his course
work up his arse,
184
00:14:07,065 --> 00:14:11,660
and I've left, and I've got a job
at Greenhough's. You can't do that!
185
00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:13,980
Well, I just did.
186
00:14:15,060 --> 00:14:18,335
You can't NOT do your A-levels.
What's happened?
187
00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:21,700
Well, no, I can. Not do them.
And then I can earn some money.
188
00:14:21,705 --> 00:14:24,340
Have you spoken... Have you talked
to your mum about it?
189
00:14:24,345 --> 00:14:26,935
No way, she's enough on worrying
about me grandad.
190
00:14:26,940 --> 00:14:29,460
Right, well, I think you need to.
It's none of her business.
191
00:14:29,465 --> 00:14:31,855
No, Ellie, it is!
She's going to be very upset
192
00:14:31,860 --> 00:14:34,420
if you're going to drop
out of doing your A-levels.
193
00:14:34,425 --> 00:14:36,215
You can't work at Greenhough's.
194
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,820
That's just a job, it's not a
career. You're a clever lass!
195
00:14:38,825 --> 00:14:41,380
You don't want to just go
chucking it all down the drain.
196
00:14:41,385 --> 00:14:45,535
No, listen, it's good!
It's full-time!
197
00:14:45,540 --> 00:14:47,340
He said I can go on a fast-track,
198
00:14:47,345 --> 00:14:50,335
he said I can be a store manager
in a couple of years
199
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,340
if I put the hours in and play my
cards right,
200
00:14:52,345 --> 00:14:57,135
there's all sorts of opportunities.
Wow! It's money, Raff.
201
00:14:57,140 --> 00:15:00,255
It's not being
dependent on every-bloody-body.
202
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:03,460
It isn't like I've got that many
people to be dependent on now
203
00:15:03,465 --> 00:15:06,095
with me Grandad being such a loony!
204
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,860
I still think you need to
ring your mother!
205
00:15:08,865 --> 00:15:12,535
Hang on,
I can't hear what you're saying,
206
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:15,700
they're all just shouting
at each other at this end.
207
00:15:15,705 --> 00:15:17,620
Can I speak to Gillian?
208
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,340
Erm...
Yeah, I think so, hang on. Gillian!
209
00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:24,980
It's Caroline.
210
00:15:26,420 --> 00:15:31,340
What's happened? What's going on...?
Hiya, Caz. He hasn't told her.
211
00:15:31,345 --> 00:15:35,460
No, no, no, not yet.
'He needs to tell her.'
212
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:40,535
I know. He will.
He needs to tell her soon.
213
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,940
Yes. I know, I agree with you,
I'm working on it.
214
00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:54,695
I do like Kate, you know.
215
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:59,140
I suppose if Caroline had to be that
way, she could've done a lot worse.
216
00:16:00,900 --> 00:16:04,415
It's funny, isn't it? Babies.
217
00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:06,900
They're always welcome
when they come.
218
00:16:06,905 --> 00:16:11,860
Even when they're unexpected.
Like our little Calamity.
219
00:16:13,620 --> 00:16:16,340
And now there's this other one.
220
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:24,180
I know there's something bothering you.
I wish you'd let on what it is.
221
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:30,020
Is it Harry and that damned silly
mess he's got himself into?
222
00:16:30,025 --> 00:16:32,020
Well, what, then?
223
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:38,860
I've had a bit of news.
224
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:41,380
What news?
225
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,740
I've been in two minds about
whether to tell you or not.
226
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:57,260
What news?
It's not, I'm not ill, I...
227
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:03,580
I suppose there's a lot about
each other we still don't know,
228
00:17:03,585 --> 00:17:06,300
isn't there? Is there?
229
00:17:06,305 --> 00:17:10,015
Well,
60-odd years not seeing someone,
230
00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:13,220
there's bound to be one or two...
231
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,260
What? One or two what?
232
00:17:20,020 --> 00:17:24,180
It turns out I've got
a skeleton in the cupboard.
233
00:17:25,700 --> 00:17:27,100
What do you mean?
234
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:32,100
One I never even knew I had.
235
00:17:33,180 --> 00:17:35,340
Well, not...
236
00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:39,375
What? What is it?
237
00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:42,180
Oh, I don't care what it is, Alan.
238
00:17:42,185 --> 00:17:44,455
You can tell me anything.
239
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:47,980
Nothing's worth making yourself
ill over, just tell me.
240
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,780
Just say it, just spit it out.
241
00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:59,020
You'll think I'm like Kenneth.
How could you ever be like Kenneth?
242
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:04,580
I've got a lad.
243
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:07,900
A son.
244
00:18:08,860 --> 00:18:12,980
A boy I never knew I had.
Well, I call him "lad." He's a man now.
245
00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:17,940
You see... I had a bit of a fling.
246
00:18:19,940 --> 00:18:22,620
When? Years ago.
247
00:18:24,340 --> 00:18:25,780
Before you were married?
248
00:18:29,500 --> 00:18:30,740
No.
249
00:18:35,340 --> 00:18:38,900
So, I don't want to make excuses.
It happened. It shouldn't have.
250
00:18:38,905 --> 00:18:41,860
But I didn't know
there'd been a child.
251
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:46,500
When?
252
00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:53,415
Year our Gillian were born.
Only as I say, I've only just...
253
00:18:53,420 --> 00:18:55,740
The year Gillian were born?
254
00:18:57,140 --> 00:19:02,860
But you'd been married nine years
when Gillian... was born.
255
00:19:04,260 --> 00:19:07,660
Who was she? You wouldn't know her.
256
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,740
They lived up Siddal.
257
00:19:16,980 --> 00:19:18,655
Mary.
258
00:19:18,660 --> 00:19:22,020
She were called Mary. Mary Kershaw.
259
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:27,900
Came to work at Jessops.
She were the secretary.
260
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:34,620
She, um... She had the look of you.
261
00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:42,660
The year Gillian was born,
you were...?
262
00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:47,855
Did Eileen know?
263
00:19:47,860 --> 00:19:52,300
No. It's like I'd said to Gillian,
it stopped before it started.
264
00:19:52,305 --> 00:19:57,015
It was never...
So what does Gillian know about it?
265
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,740
Her date. On Valentine's Day.
266
00:20:02,900 --> 00:20:07,500
It weren't a date as such. It were him.
267
00:20:10,260 --> 00:20:13,855
How long did it go on? It didn't.
268
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:17,340
Long enough to get her pregnant.
Only the once.
269
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:21,900
Then she left.
I never saw her again.
270
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:25,820
I had no idea she were...
271
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:34,020
So, what does he want, this Gary?
272
00:20:34,025 --> 00:20:38,420
Nothing. He just wanted to meet me.
And are you going to?
273
00:20:39,580 --> 00:20:42,935
Well, the thing is... I already have.
274
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:46,860
I met him this morning when
you and Gillian went shopping.
275
00:20:46,865 --> 00:20:49,975
And he's a grand fella, Celia.
276
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,975
And he's very keen to meet you.
Genuinely.
277
00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:56,460
He's the sort of person
who genuinely seems to be
278
00:20:56,465 --> 00:21:00,175
interested in people. He...
So, hang on.
279
00:21:00,180 --> 00:21:03,815
He just rang out of the blue,
this morning,
280
00:21:03,820 --> 00:21:06,140
when Gillian and me
just happened to be out shopping?
281
00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:11,180
No. No. No, he, we, it were...
It were arranged.
282
00:21:11,185 --> 00:21:13,335
Gillian arranged it.
283
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:17,820
Oh, so you were just getting
me out of the way? No!
284
00:21:18,780 --> 00:21:22,140
Look... It were delicate... Where?
285
00:21:22,145 --> 00:21:23,820
Where did you meet him?
286
00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:27,535
In a cafe. Right.
287
00:21:27,540 --> 00:21:30,900
I understand you'd probably rather
I'd told you first...
288
00:21:30,905 --> 00:21:34,575
I'd rather you didn't lie to me
about what you were doing.
289
00:21:34,580 --> 00:21:37,820
But, obviously, I were worried
about how you'd react.
290
00:21:37,825 --> 00:21:42,580
You see, this is what adultery does
to people, it turns them into liars.
291
00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,820
Well, no wonder you couldn't
have little Calamity,
292
00:21:46,825 --> 00:21:50,015
no wonder we had to trail
her round with us.
293
00:21:50,020 --> 00:21:52,300
It's been difficult,
knowing the right thing to do
294
00:21:52,305 --> 00:21:54,700
and the right order to do stuff in.
295
00:21:54,705 --> 00:21:57,460
And of course Gillian's been upset.
296
00:21:57,465 --> 00:22:02,055
But not above colluding
with you about deceiving me.
297
00:22:02,060 --> 00:22:04,015
Nobody wanted to deceive you!
298
00:22:04,020 --> 00:22:07,260
It was just about knowing when
and how to tell you.
299
00:22:08,420 --> 00:22:11,460
Well... You've told me now.
300
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:23,060
Have you seen Ellie?
301
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:27,900
Yeah, she were up at 6:15,
she was off to catch the 6:50 bus.
302
00:22:27,905 --> 00:22:31,415
She's to be at Greenhough's
at half past.
303
00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:34,655
She didn't discuss this wi'
me at all, nothing.
304
00:22:34,660 --> 00:22:37,975
You need to be communicating
with each other more. No shit!
305
00:22:37,980 --> 00:22:40,500
I'm not being an unpaid nanny
if she's out earning money.
306
00:22:40,505 --> 00:22:44,340
That is not the way the world
works, this isn't cloud cuckoo land.
307
00:22:44,345 --> 00:22:46,380
Also, plus, Yvonne is slinging me
308
00:22:46,385 --> 00:22:49,375
cash every week for her
housekeeping. Which...
309
00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:53,180
I can't accept that. I'm not
accepting that if Ellie's working.
310
00:22:53,185 --> 00:22:56,895
Did she even speak to her mother
last night? No idea.
311
00:22:56,900 --> 00:23:01,135
Do you just not talk to each other
at all? About anything? Hello?!
312
00:23:01,140 --> 00:23:04,460
Right, well, I'll have to bang on
about it at her, then! Feel free!
313
00:23:04,465 --> 00:23:06,260
I'll see her later. I'm on a shift!
314
00:23:06,265 --> 00:23:09,900
After I've done every bloody thing
else for every bugger else!
315
00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:19,660
What's up with Celia
and me grandad?
316
00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:23,900
What IS up with Celia
and your grandad?
317
00:23:23,905 --> 00:23:27,380
They're sat at breakfast table
not speaking to each other.
318
00:23:27,385 --> 00:23:29,375
Has something happened?
319
00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:32,540
They were up in t'night,
I heard 'em. No, I don't think...
320
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:35,100
Is one of 'em ill?
321
00:23:36,860 --> 00:23:40,300
No. No. Nothing like that. Just...
322
00:23:44,020 --> 00:23:47,100
It turns out I've got a brother.
323
00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:53,660
A half brother...
that I didn't know about.
324
00:23:53,665 --> 00:23:54,820
How?
325
00:23:56,500 --> 00:23:58,220
You what?!
326
00:24:11,780 --> 00:24:13,540
I would like you to meet him.
327
00:24:15,580 --> 00:24:17,580
You see, I think you'd like him.
328
00:24:20,020 --> 00:24:21,540
He'd like to meet you.
329
00:24:23,420 --> 00:24:24,900
I can't imagine why.
330
00:24:28,100 --> 00:24:31,815
He's very... I don't know. Calm.
331
00:24:31,820 --> 00:24:34,975
His manner. Kindly and...
332
00:24:34,980 --> 00:24:38,655
unusual. I was nervous about
going to meet him. But, no,
333
00:24:38,660 --> 00:24:41,780
he just seemed to be wanting
to make sense of it himself,
334
00:24:41,785 --> 00:24:47,140
and apologising, and saying that he
knew it was a shock for all of us.
335
00:24:49,580 --> 00:24:53,220
He were being very grown-up
about the whole thing, I suppose.
336
00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:55,940
And you want me
to be grown-up about it, too?
337
00:24:57,380 --> 00:24:58,980
Well?
338
00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:03,780
Either we can move
forward together, or...
339
00:25:03,785 --> 00:25:06,580
I don't know what
the alternative is.
340
00:25:09,740 --> 00:25:13,380
Maybe I should go and stay
with Caroline for a few days.
341
00:25:17,700 --> 00:25:19,580
Caroline knows, by the way.
342
00:25:20,900 --> 00:25:23,500
Caroline? What the hell
does Caroline know about it?
343
00:25:23,505 --> 00:25:27,740
Gillian wanted to talk to her before
she told me, after she met him. Gary.
344
00:25:29,220 --> 00:25:33,460
Anyway, she thought Caroline'd know
the best way forward.
345
00:25:34,780 --> 00:25:39,100
So Kate'll know about it as well,
won't she?
346
00:25:39,105 --> 00:25:43,780
I mean, does everybody know
except me? No. No!
347
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:50,620
Well, of course I discussed it with
Kate, I'm allowed to,
348
00:25:50,625 --> 00:25:53,780
she's my partner.
We tell each other things.
349
00:25:54,820 --> 00:25:59,175
You see, this is what
I used to hate about your dad.
350
00:25:59,180 --> 00:26:02,335
Him mucking about
and everybody knowing.
351
00:26:02,340 --> 00:26:07,495
Then you find out and you realise they've
been laughing at you behind your back.
352
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:11,335
Or else feeling sorry for you. All who?
353
00:26:11,340 --> 00:26:14,375
'Oh... Everybody, anybody,'
354
00:26:14,380 --> 00:26:16,695
I don't know. You lot.
355
00:26:16,700 --> 00:26:19,540
Not in this instance,
nobody's like that.
356
00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:23,460
I'm so shocked, Caroline.
357
00:26:25,460 --> 00:26:27,180
I thought he was different.
358
00:26:28,700 --> 00:26:30,820
I thought I knew him.
359
00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:34,340
I thought he was better than that.
360
00:26:34,345 --> 00:26:37,975
You know, when you haven't seen
someone for 60 years,
361
00:26:37,980 --> 00:26:40,540
there will be things about them
you don't know.
362
00:26:42,220 --> 00:26:46,415
I love you. I know you do.
363
00:26:46,420 --> 00:26:49,855
And I think he does,
I know he does, and you know,
364
00:26:49,860 --> 00:26:54,300
'this isn't about you, and I think you
need to try 'and step back from it.'
365
00:26:54,305 --> 00:26:58,500
He went and met him
without telling me.
366
00:26:58,505 --> 00:27:02,500
'Yeah.' Yeah... Did you know that?
367
00:27:02,505 --> 00:27:05,855
'Yeah. Yeah. I...' Yeah.
368
00:27:05,860 --> 00:27:09,695
Why didn't you tell me? 'I was
going to! I told Gillian, I said'
369
00:27:09,700 --> 00:27:12,180
"If you don't hurry up
and tell her, I will."
370
00:27:13,580 --> 00:27:17,500
Are all men rotten? No. No.
371
00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:21,735
A lot of them are, but I don't
think Alan's one of them.
372
00:27:21,740 --> 00:27:24,980
If I thought he was I'd have driven
straight over there two days ago and
373
00:27:24,985 --> 00:27:28,575
ripped his pacemaker out
and shoved it...
374
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:30,220
where the sun doesn't shine.
375
00:27:31,940 --> 00:27:34,735
He hasn't got a pacemaker.
376
00:27:34,740 --> 00:27:38,015
'No, I know, I know. I just...'
377
00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:40,255
I thought it sounded good.
But I would.
378
00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:43,055
'If I thought for one second
that he was taking the mickey
379
00:27:43,060 --> 00:27:47,095
'out of you, I'd deal with him.' I don't
think he is. I think he's a good man.
380
00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:50,420
I think he's made a mistake and
I bet he's doing his damnedest now
381
00:27:50,425 --> 00:27:54,220
to make things right, because I
would imagine that he is terrified.
382
00:27:54,225 --> 00:27:58,980
'Terrified of losing you.'
You're very wise.
383
00:27:58,985 --> 00:28:02,620
'Hm...' I wonder who I get that from?
384
00:28:04,580 --> 00:28:06,815
Not me.
385
00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:10,455
You're right to be upset.
He was unfaithful to his wife.
386
00:28:10,460 --> 00:28:13,695
That's something that's going to
bring back a lot of unpleasant
387
00:28:13,700 --> 00:28:15,940
memories for you,
but it was a long time ago.
388
00:28:15,945 --> 00:28:18,615
'That's not an excuse,
but it really
389
00:28:18,620 --> 00:28:21,380
'isn't a reflection
on you personally, is it?
390
00:28:22,660 --> 00:28:24,100
'Can you see that?'
391
00:28:25,500 --> 00:28:28,420
I know you're shocked, I know
you're upset, and come over here for
392
00:28:28,425 --> 00:28:31,660
a few days on your own if you want
a bit of time to yourself but...
393
00:28:31,665 --> 00:28:35,580
you don't really want to lose Alan,
Mum, do you?
394
00:29:01,980 --> 00:29:03,780
Have I buggered everything up?
395
00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:13,415
You've been a while.
396
00:29:13,420 --> 00:29:16,100
I went for a little drive
onto the tops.
397
00:29:17,380 --> 00:29:21,535
We were worried you weren't coming back.
I rang Caroline.
398
00:29:21,540 --> 00:29:26,295
Is she all right? Mmm. Kate's sick of
John being around the house all day.
399
00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:29,620
But Lawrence likes him being there,
so she's finding it difficult
400
00:29:29,625 --> 00:29:33,900
to tell him to sling his hook.
But, no, nothing else fresh.
401
00:29:39,700 --> 00:29:42,180
I really don't want to be
small-minded about this.
402
00:29:42,185 --> 00:29:47,615
I'm not Kenneth, Celia.
It happened once.
403
00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:52,420
I were ashamed of it, I regretted it,
and it never happened again.
404
00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:54,820
OK.
405
00:29:56,220 --> 00:29:58,300
I'd almost forgotten it'd happened.
406
00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:04,940
Happen I blacked it out,
I don't know.
407
00:30:06,100 --> 00:30:07,380
Right.
408
00:30:10,580 --> 00:30:14,460
Are we friends? Course we're friends.
409
00:30:17,940 --> 00:30:20,535
I googled him.
410
00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:23,295
Sorry? Gary! I googled him.
411
00:30:23,300 --> 00:30:26,940
You know I said it looked like
he'd done all right for himself?
412
00:30:26,945 --> 00:30:30,060
Well, he has.
He's owns Cafe Rapido.
413
00:30:30,065 --> 00:30:33,935
Mobile coffee shops,
mobile baristas.
414
00:30:33,940 --> 00:30:36,900
Vans selling coffee,
and pastries, and cakes,
415
00:30:36,905 --> 00:30:40,135
like at railways stations
and football matches,
416
00:30:40,140 --> 00:30:42,735
and, well,
you'll have seen 'em around.
417
00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:46,300
I've never been to a football
match. They're all over!
418
00:30:47,420 --> 00:30:50,735
He started off with one van
when he were 18,
419
00:30:50,740 --> 00:30:54,740
and now he has whole fleets of 'em,
up and down the country.
420
00:30:54,745 --> 00:30:58,820
He's an entrepreneur,
he's a multi-millionaire.
421
00:30:58,825 --> 00:31:04,495
Is he? He supports all sorts of
charities and good causes.
422
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:07,780
He owns
Huddersfield Town Football club!
423
00:31:07,785 --> 00:31:10,575
Do you want to have a look?
424
00:31:10,580 --> 00:31:14,100
Let me see
if I can find it again for you.
425
00:31:31,260 --> 00:31:34,460
You and me need to be having a proper
conversation at some point, lady.
426
00:31:35,660 --> 00:31:38,415
Gillian! Cheryl.
427
00:31:38,420 --> 00:31:41,020
How's yourself?
Yeah... I'm all right.
428
00:31:41,025 --> 00:31:45,135
Bless. I've heard the news. Which?
429
00:31:45,140 --> 00:31:47,700
That you and Robbie's been
at it behind my back.
430
00:31:47,705 --> 00:31:51,295
Anything you'd like to say to me?
I, er...
431
00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:53,815
You don't know
what I'm talking about?
432
00:31:53,820 --> 00:31:58,775
No, I'm sorry, that's not going to wash.
It were Robbie that telled me hisself.
433
00:31:58,780 --> 00:32:01,900
Bit of a domestic about the kitchen.
Him not wanting to spend money,
434
00:32:01,905 --> 00:32:04,975
and me saying, "Well, this is just
a breeding ground for bacteria,"
435
00:32:04,980 --> 00:32:07,660
then one thing led to another
and it all came tumbling out.
436
00:32:07,665 --> 00:32:10,655
So, what I'd like to suggest is,
437
00:32:10,660 --> 00:32:13,780
next time you're making whoopee,
if you could just ask him
438
00:32:13,785 --> 00:32:16,815
to wear one of these cos,
obviously,
439
00:32:16,820 --> 00:32:20,415
I personally don't want to be
picking up anything unpleasant.
440
00:32:20,420 --> 00:32:24,140
Oh, as well, if you're so desperate
for sex that you need to borrow
441
00:32:24,145 --> 00:32:27,060
other people's fellas,
let me give you this.
442
00:32:29,940 --> 00:32:34,735
Yep, so... there we go.
443
00:32:34,740 --> 00:32:37,220
Have a nice day. Mind how you go.
444
00:32:40,660 --> 00:32:43,580
Careful now, don't get too close,
or she'll have your kecks off.
445
00:32:43,585 --> 00:32:46,215
I know,
and with a face like a bust shoe.
446
00:32:46,220 --> 00:32:50,660
She must be releasing the right sort of
pheromones, eh? Oh, I like your shoes!
447
00:33:20,620 --> 00:33:22,655
So I said "Fine.
448
00:33:22,660 --> 00:33:26,815
"You can shove your job where
monkeys shove their nuts."
449
00:33:26,820 --> 00:33:30,260
I've had enough being talked to
like crap. Well...what happened?
450
00:33:30,265 --> 00:33:34,780
Nothing. Just...him saying
how I'm always trouble.
451
00:33:34,785 --> 00:33:38,020
Me! I know. Always late.
452
00:33:38,025 --> 00:33:41,255
Really? Twice in the last...
453
00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:44,735
month.
Always mouthing off, apparently.
454
00:33:44,740 --> 00:33:49,220
Only because I'm sticking up
for people, other people,
455
00:33:49,225 --> 00:33:52,460
against him being
a fascist dictator.
456
00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:56,940
I said, I told him,
"My father was a union man.
457
00:33:56,945 --> 00:33:59,135
"I'm not apologising."
458
00:33:59,140 --> 00:34:02,100
Then him just going on about
how I'm always...
459
00:34:02,105 --> 00:34:07,220
Whatever, so I just said "Fine.
Fine. You know what?
460
00:34:07,225 --> 00:34:10,855
"Fine. For me, this is win-win."
461
00:34:10,860 --> 00:34:12,580
So you lost your job.
462
00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:18,540
No, I...I resigned. How is it win-win?
463
00:34:19,940 --> 00:34:23,815
I get time off and I don't have to
listen to that jackass
464
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:27,340
telling me what to do any more.
Oh, you pillock.
465
00:34:32,260 --> 00:34:36,940
Where's Celia?
Oh. She was here before I nodded off.
466
00:34:36,945 --> 00:34:41,215
Is the Lexus outside? Yeah.
467
00:34:41,220 --> 00:34:45,340
Celia?! I'm just upstairs!
468
00:34:46,980 --> 00:34:49,180
Did you tell her? Yeah.
469
00:34:51,660 --> 00:34:54,180
Yeah. And? She's fine.
470
00:34:56,300 --> 00:34:57,735
Fine how?
471
00:34:57,740 --> 00:35:01,740
Obviously, it were a shock
to start with. But, I don't know,
472
00:35:01,745 --> 00:35:04,820
Caroline seemed to talk some
sense into her.
473
00:35:06,980 --> 00:35:10,140
Yeah, and,
come and have a look at this.
474
00:35:12,380 --> 00:35:15,855
I googled him.
Do you realise who he is?
475
00:35:15,860 --> 00:35:20,295
You'll not believe it.
He's a real mover and a shaker.
476
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:23,220
You'll not credit
what he's achieved.
477
00:35:23,225 --> 00:35:25,620
Blimey. Yeah.
478
00:35:26,900 --> 00:35:31,655
God! Huddersfield Town? He owns it.
479
00:35:31,660 --> 00:35:34,255
Maybe he'll give me a job,
cutting the Astroturf.
480
00:35:34,260 --> 00:35:37,340
Well, ask him. I rang him,
we're all going to tea on Friday.
481
00:35:37,345 --> 00:35:41,095
Tea? Supper. Dinner. A meal.
482
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:42,940
Seven for seven-thirty.
483
00:35:44,660 --> 00:35:48,340
I'll have to tell Raff. Yeah, I...
484
00:35:48,345 --> 00:35:52,060
Already told him.
He heard you get up in the night,
485
00:35:52,065 --> 00:35:55,895
and he was worried you were ill,
so I... How did he...?
486
00:35:55,900 --> 00:36:00,255
Oh, he thought it was "well cool"
I think were the exact words.
487
00:36:00,260 --> 00:36:03,300
The fact that you'd been unfaithful
to my mother appeared to go
488
00:36:03,305 --> 00:36:05,500
right over his pretty little head.
489
00:36:05,505 --> 00:36:08,900
But then again he's a bloke, so...
490
00:36:08,905 --> 00:36:12,780
What you doing?
I'm going to Harrogate. Hello, love.
491
00:36:12,785 --> 00:36:15,375
Celia. I don't want to make a fuss.
492
00:36:15,380 --> 00:36:19,055
I'm happy for you to go and have
dinner with this Gary.
493
00:36:19,060 --> 00:36:22,100
I can see you're all excited about
it and I understand why,
494
00:36:22,105 --> 00:36:24,855
he's obviously a very
successful young man,
495
00:36:24,860 --> 00:36:27,655
but I personally would
find it difficult. So...
496
00:36:27,660 --> 00:36:30,420
If it's all right with everyone
here, I'd rather be in Harrogate.
497
00:36:30,425 --> 00:36:34,460
Celia, it's not because he's
successful, it's because he's,
498
00:36:34,465 --> 00:36:39,215
well, he's flesh and blood. Yes, well,
whatever it is, he'll understand...
499
00:36:39,220 --> 00:36:43,375
He was particular in wanting to meet
you. It's you he's interested in.
500
00:36:43,380 --> 00:36:45,740
And that's fine.
Like I say, I don't want to be
501
00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:49,775
small minded about it.
But, equally, you'll understand
502
00:36:49,780 --> 00:36:51,695
if I don't want to be there.
503
00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:55,855
And, anyway, it's the wedding
the next day and she might want me
504
00:36:55,860 --> 00:36:59,420
over there Friday night in case
there's anything wants doing.
505
00:36:59,425 --> 00:37:02,060
OK, I won't go.
506
00:37:03,700 --> 00:37:07,900
No. You're going, I'm not having that.
You're going.
507
00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:25,215
I thought I might cook
this evening for everyone
508
00:37:25,220 --> 00:37:28,020
as a sort of thank you.
I bought steak.
509
00:37:29,180 --> 00:37:30,740
You're not a vegetarian, are you?
510
00:37:30,745 --> 00:37:34,380
No. I can't do nuts,
but other than that...
511
00:37:34,385 --> 00:37:35,820
I bought this.
512
00:37:37,460 --> 00:37:39,020
Sweet, isn't it?
513
00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:45,900
I always wanted a girl.
I mean, I love the boys, obviously,
514
00:37:45,905 --> 00:37:50,735
I wouldn't swap them. But, secretly,
I always wanted a little girl, too.
515
00:37:50,740 --> 00:37:53,980
But Caroline didn't want to have
any more after the boys came along.
516
00:37:57,940 --> 00:38:02,295
I'm really sorry about what's happened,
John. Yes.
517
00:38:02,300 --> 00:38:03,660
I know you are.
518
00:38:05,860 --> 00:38:08,020
You've both been very kind.
519
00:38:12,460 --> 00:38:14,060
Do you want some tea?
520
00:38:30,340 --> 00:38:34,220
Oh, yeah, Mum. What's this about you
and a vibrator and some condoms?
521
00:38:34,225 --> 00:38:38,295
I said not to say owt!
So actually you got sacked, in fact.
522
00:38:38,300 --> 00:38:41,735
I resigned. She resigned.
What happened? Nothing.
523
00:38:41,740 --> 00:38:44,900
Cheryl came in the shop. Apparently.
I wouldn't have told you about it
524
00:38:44,905 --> 00:38:46,860
if I thought you were going to
be horrible!
525
00:38:46,865 --> 00:38:50,535
And repeat it in front of your grandad!
526
00:38:50,540 --> 00:38:55,015
I'll go. What happened?
I wouldn't have, Gillian. What happened?
527
00:38:55,020 --> 00:38:59,460
There was an incident at work
involving Cheryl.
528
00:38:59,465 --> 00:39:06,095
Who clearly has some form
of borderline personality disorder
529
00:39:06,100 --> 00:39:10,100
and who got the wrong
end of the stick. Yet again!
530
00:39:10,105 --> 00:39:11,940
So, what happened?
531
00:39:19,620 --> 00:39:21,695
I can't turn it off.
532
00:39:21,700 --> 00:39:26,180
Carry on! Perhaps we should have
a chat, Gillian? In my office.
533
00:39:27,500 --> 00:39:29,540
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
534
00:39:32,220 --> 00:39:36,055
So, he said it was a final warning,
and I resigned.
535
00:39:36,060 --> 00:39:38,935
NO, hang on. Why would Cheryl
do something like that?
536
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:41,860
Because she's deranged. And she's
thick. Not that she can help it.
537
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:46,060
I heard about what happened
and I just wanted to say sorry.
538
00:39:46,065 --> 00:39:49,620
I should've er... I should've
warned you that she, er...
539
00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:52,700
..that she...
540
00:39:54,660 --> 00:39:59,100
Anyway, she's moved out, she's gone.
Why?
541
00:40:03,060 --> 00:40:05,140
You've...
542
00:40:07,900 --> 00:40:11,940
Don't you ever, EVER pull that face
at me again, young man.
543
00:40:11,945 --> 00:40:14,820
Why? What has...? Oh.
I did tell you.
544
00:40:14,825 --> 00:40:17,695
Yeah. You told HIM? When?
545
00:40:17,700 --> 00:40:22,340
We've been invited out for
tea to Gary's. Gary? Oh...
546
00:40:22,345 --> 00:40:26,060
So... OK. Blimey.
547
00:40:27,940 --> 00:40:32,140
So she's moved out? Yup.
We need to be setting off.
548
00:40:34,820 --> 00:40:38,300
Sorry. OK. Well, look I'll...
catch up with you later. Yeah.
549
00:40:46,340 --> 00:40:47,820
'So, they're going.'
550
00:40:49,540 --> 00:40:54,420
He's fair smitten with him. He said he
felt like he knew him when he met him.
551
00:40:54,425 --> 00:40:59,020
Soon as he clapped eyes on him, he said
he felt like he'd "always known him."
552
00:40:59,025 --> 00:41:03,540
Which, I mean how can you?
It's Gillian I feel sorry for.
553
00:41:03,545 --> 00:41:07,740
Losing her job and then Alan
all excited about this fella
554
00:41:07,745 --> 00:41:11,620
being a multi-millionaire.
Obviously, it's complicated for...
555
00:41:11,625 --> 00:41:15,940
She's obviously got very mixed
feelings about him herself,
556
00:41:15,945 --> 00:41:18,975
but, oh, no, Alan's blind to it.
557
00:41:18,980 --> 00:41:23,055
On the one hand, he's saying
he's ashamed he ever had this...
558
00:41:23,060 --> 00:41:26,180
relationship, and, on the other,
he seems to think
559
00:41:26,185 --> 00:41:29,180
this fella's the best thing
since sliced bread.
560
00:41:40,460 --> 00:41:45,380
Talk about the pot calling the
kettle black. Eh? Oh, no... Oh, yes!
561
00:41:45,385 --> 00:41:47,055
All these years.
562
00:41:47,060 --> 00:41:50,655
Listen, and I wasn't the other
woman. She was.
563
00:41:50,660 --> 00:41:53,220
Me and Robbie, we just had
a bit of a blip, that's all,
564
00:41:53,225 --> 00:41:57,180
cos of that loud-mouthed, alcoholic
bitch sticking her neb in.
565
00:41:57,185 --> 00:42:01,860
Which? Judith. We're not going to parade
all this in front of Gary, are we?
566
00:42:01,865 --> 00:42:05,335
What, all our dirty linen?!
Oh, hell, no.
567
00:42:05,340 --> 00:42:10,180
We don't want him thinking any of
us have sex, do we? Eh, Grandad?
568
00:42:18,540 --> 00:42:20,700
Where the hell are we? We're lost.
569
00:42:20,705 --> 00:42:24,015
I think it looks dead creepy.
So do I.
570
00:42:24,020 --> 00:42:28,135
God, this is dank. I'm wondering
if that was a wrong turn.
571
00:42:28,140 --> 00:42:32,140
That first one we took way back
when we came off main road.
572
00:42:32,145 --> 00:42:33,620
Oh, now he says it!
573
00:42:34,620 --> 00:42:37,615
Shit.
What was that?
574
00:42:37,620 --> 00:42:39,935
Oh, we're all right. Keep going.
575
00:42:39,940 --> 00:42:42,820
The worst thing that can happen
is we'll end up in Slaithwaite.
576
00:42:42,825 --> 00:42:46,175
It's like we're in The Rocky Horror
Picture Show. Yeah.
577
00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,620
Do you think Uncle Gary's
a transvestite, Mum?
578
00:42:48,625 --> 00:42:53,260
From Transsexual Transylvania?
Hey, there's a light. Eh? Where?
579
00:42:53,265 --> 00:42:57,980
Over at the Frankenstein place. No.
No, there really is a light, look.
580
00:43:01,740 --> 00:43:05,300
Wow. Look. Good lord.
581
00:43:05,305 --> 00:43:08,900
Oh, my God. Blimey.
582
00:43:15,140 --> 00:43:18,975
I was 17, this was in summer 1983
583
00:43:18,980 --> 00:43:22,055
and I had FIVE part-time jobs.
584
00:43:22,060 --> 00:43:24,695
And one of them was in... Five?
Why?
585
00:43:24,700 --> 00:43:27,695
How? I don't know, I was saving up
to go to university.
586
00:43:27,700 --> 00:43:32,100
He never went. I didn't need to, hadn't time,
and one of them... You didn't hear that.
587
00:43:32,105 --> 00:43:36,495
Do you know Luigi's? Cafe on George
Square in the middle of Halifax,
588
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:38,655
I used to wash up there.
Thank you. Anyway,
589
00:43:38,660 --> 00:43:41,615
there was this old Gaggia
machine in the stock room upstairs,
590
00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:44,540
been there for years gathering dust,
it was defunct, it was ancient,
591
00:43:44,545 --> 00:43:48,340
God knows why he never threw it out,
but I reckoned I could fix it up
592
00:43:48,345 --> 00:43:52,260
and I offered him �5 for it,
and he laughed and said,
593
00:43:52,265 --> 00:43:56,900
"Gary, you take it,
I give you �5 to take it away".
594
00:43:56,905 --> 00:44:01,540
That's an Italian accent
if you were... Yeah...wondering.
595
00:44:01,545 --> 00:44:05,815
So, but, at the same time,
my grandad, my mum's dad,
596
00:44:05,820 --> 00:44:08,935
he retired, he was retiring,
he was a painter and decorator
597
00:44:08,940 --> 00:44:11,380
and he had this old van he'd
used for years and years,
598
00:44:11,385 --> 00:44:14,260
it was dropping to pieces
and I said, "Can I have it?"
599
00:44:14,265 --> 00:44:19,420
And he said, "Gary lad, I'll give
you �10 to take it away". So...
600
00:44:19,425 --> 00:44:24,135
I've got a coffee
machine and a van.
601
00:44:24,140 --> 00:44:26,255
What are you going to do?
602
00:44:26,260 --> 00:44:30,735
You're going to put them together,
aren't you? Inevitably. Obviously.
603
00:44:30,740 --> 00:44:34,820
That was, in fact, my idea.
Well, she says this. Because it's true.
604
00:44:34,825 --> 00:44:37,020
So, where did you two meet?
605
00:44:37,025 --> 00:44:39,935
Ah, well, there's another story.
606
00:44:39,940 --> 00:44:43,855
You know Tyson's, the company
that makes security alarms
607
00:44:43,860 --> 00:44:48,295
and security equipment down
in Sowerby Bridge? Well...
608
00:44:50,340 --> 00:44:53,580
Know what I mean?
609
00:44:53,585 --> 00:44:57,695
Now... And this is a first edition?
610
00:44:57,700 --> 00:45:01,220
No, not quite, no. God knows what
that would be worth, no.
611
00:45:01,225 --> 00:45:05,695
This is the first edition in
America, with, look...
612
00:45:05,700 --> 00:45:09,780
The publisher's misattribution on
the title page to Charlotte Bronte.
613
00:45:09,785 --> 00:45:14,135
Isn't that, you know...
..amazing? Amazing.
614
00:45:17,540 --> 00:45:21,375
I'm SO excited that we've met,
Alan.
615
00:45:21,380 --> 00:45:25,380
I feel like I need to know
everything, everything about you,
616
00:45:25,385 --> 00:45:29,180
and I want you to know
everything about me. Yeah, well...
617
00:45:29,185 --> 00:45:31,500
..we will, lad. We will.
618
00:46:05,060 --> 00:46:06,660
Good morning.
619
00:46:07,820 --> 00:46:11,700
Oh, hello. How long have you been up?
620
00:46:11,705 --> 00:46:16,060
I couldn't get comfortable.
Then I got heartburn, again.
621
00:46:16,065 --> 00:46:18,855
Then I had to get up to pee,
about 19 times.
622
00:46:18,860 --> 00:46:23,100
And then I got all excited, thinking
about being married to you. Aww.
623
00:46:26,940 --> 00:46:29,255
Aren't you simple? Just think,
624
00:46:29,260 --> 00:46:33,580
in just over three hours' time we'll
be shackled to each other forever.
625
00:46:33,585 --> 00:46:36,455
Have you chosen a poem? I might have.
626
00:46:36,460 --> 00:46:38,540
I don't want to be the only one
reading out a poem.
627
00:46:38,545 --> 00:46:42,260
I might have written one. Have you?
Might have. No, have you?
628
00:46:43,300 --> 00:46:47,380
My love is like a hot water bottle.
That's so flattering, Caroline.
629
00:46:47,385 --> 00:46:49,135
My love is like a thermal vest.
630
00:46:49,140 --> 00:46:51,460
God, you've really
missed your metier, haven't you?
631
00:46:51,465 --> 00:46:53,940
Shall I compare thee
to my Jeep Cherokee?
632
00:46:55,140 --> 00:46:56,180
Go on, then.
633
00:46:57,500 --> 00:46:58,860
Thou art more...
634
00:47:00,180 --> 00:47:01,420
More...?
635
00:47:02,500 --> 00:47:06,140
Built like a tank and guzzles diesel
like it's going out of fashion?
636
00:47:06,145 --> 00:47:08,975
Yeah, OK.
I've not thought that one through.
637
00:47:08,980 --> 00:47:11,060
Yeah, well, you've got three hours.
638
00:47:12,540 --> 00:47:13,700
Caroline.
639
00:47:15,700 --> 00:47:16,940
Caroline?
640
00:47:39,700 --> 00:47:42,615
Eh, I'm thinking
I might wear this suit.
641
00:47:42,620 --> 00:47:45,260
It's the one I wore
when we got wed first time
642
00:47:45,265 --> 00:47:48,620
in register office in Halifax.
Right.
643
00:47:48,625 --> 00:47:52,335
What about you? What about me?
644
00:47:52,340 --> 00:47:56,215
Well, what are you wearing?
I'm not going.
645
00:47:56,220 --> 00:48:00,015
What do you mean?
I can't stand there, smiling.
646
00:48:00,020 --> 00:48:03,420
Nobody's going to thank me if I stand
there looking like a wet weekend.
647
00:48:03,425 --> 00:48:05,620
Well,
I think you should make an effort.
648
00:48:05,625 --> 00:48:08,615
It's Caroline's big day...
Big day?
649
00:48:08,620 --> 00:48:11,940
Getting married to another woman?
But...
650
00:48:11,945 --> 00:48:17,175
You were just saying how nice
it were when Kate popped round.
651
00:48:17,180 --> 00:48:19,260
Yeah, well, that was yesterday.
652
00:48:21,260 --> 00:48:22,420
Oh, Celia...
653
00:48:24,140 --> 00:48:26,860
Don't let this other
business spoil...
654
00:48:28,340 --> 00:48:31,460
Where did you do it?
What?
655
00:48:31,465 --> 00:48:35,815
Sex. You and Mary?
I'm not going there...
656
00:48:35,820 --> 00:48:38,220
I'm assuming you couldn't take her
back to your house,
657
00:48:38,225 --> 00:48:41,255
because Gillian
and Eileen would be there.
658
00:48:41,260 --> 00:48:43,855
And who did she live with?
Her mum and dad,
659
00:48:43,860 --> 00:48:46,620
so that wouldn't have been
an option. I don't want...
660
00:48:46,625 --> 00:48:50,740
In a stationery cupboard at Jessops?
In the back of your car?
661
00:48:50,745 --> 00:48:54,500
Fumbling about with her knickers.
In the same car, possibly,
662
00:48:54,505 --> 00:48:58,460
that you'd brought Gillian back from
the hospital in when she was born.
663
00:49:00,020 --> 00:49:04,060
Then going back to Eileen...
..smelling of HER.
664
00:49:05,380 --> 00:49:07,380
I'm not Kenneth.
665
00:49:08,700 --> 00:49:10,380
The night Caroline was born,
666
00:49:10,385 --> 00:49:15,175
the night I lost all that blood
and I had to have that transfusion.
667
00:49:15,180 --> 00:49:18,540
I found out afterwards he'd been
having it off with someone else.
668
00:49:18,545 --> 00:49:20,740
Kenneth, that same night.
669
00:49:22,620 --> 00:49:24,975
I was in hospital, I nearly died,
670
00:49:24,980 --> 00:49:27,820
and he was off,
shagging one of his tarts.
671
00:49:29,460 --> 00:49:31,700
Do you know what that does to you?
672
00:49:31,705 --> 00:49:34,900
To your self-esteem?
Have you any idea?
673
00:49:36,580 --> 00:49:39,140
And the year Gillian was born...
674
00:49:40,500 --> 00:49:43,820
..you're mucking about
with somebody's secretary.
675
00:49:52,500 --> 00:49:54,780
Ten minutes, then we'd better...
Yeah.
676
00:49:57,820 --> 00:50:00,500
You nervous? Are you?
677
00:50:04,100 --> 00:50:06,420
Can I tell you something?
What?
678
00:50:09,260 --> 00:50:11,860
Can I tell you how grateful
I am to you, for...
679
00:50:11,865 --> 00:50:14,540
..giving me the strength
and the courage to...
680
00:50:16,540 --> 00:50:17,580
..stop hiding.
681
00:50:19,220 --> 00:50:20,780
You're magnificent.
682
00:50:22,780 --> 00:50:26,300
You're very pretty.
Do you remember that day?
683
00:50:26,305 --> 00:50:30,215
That was so mad!
Snogging in your office.
684
00:50:30,220 --> 00:50:34,500
It was more than a snog, pal.
I had my hand inside your bra.
685
00:50:35,980 --> 00:50:38,180
Alan. It's open!
686
00:50:41,180 --> 00:50:45,300
Good morning! Yes. Hello, love.
Very smart!
687
00:50:45,305 --> 00:50:47,740
Oh, yes. Well...
688
00:50:48,980 --> 00:50:50,620
We've, I've...
689
00:50:51,820 --> 00:50:54,420
There's a problem with your mum.
690
00:51:02,300 --> 00:51:06,455
Mum, you need to get dressed.
691
00:51:06,460 --> 00:51:09,095
He's no better than your father.
692
00:51:09,100 --> 00:51:12,060
Mum, I want you to get dressed.
Did you hear what I said?
693
00:51:12,065 --> 00:51:15,060
I did. However,
today isn't about that. Look...
694
00:51:16,700 --> 00:51:18,420
..please don't take this
the wrong way,
695
00:51:18,425 --> 00:51:21,060
but you don't mind if I don't come,
do you? Yes.
696
00:51:21,065 --> 00:51:23,940
Yes, I do, actually.
I really want you to be there.
697
00:51:23,945 --> 00:51:28,340
I'd only make everyone miserable. You'll
make ME miserable if you don't come.
698
00:51:28,345 --> 00:51:32,695
But Kate's mother's not going to be
there. That's because she's in America.
699
00:51:32,700 --> 00:51:35,420
She's working, she's going to come
and spend the summer with us,
700
00:51:35,425 --> 00:51:37,300
all the more reason
why you SHOULD be there.
701
00:51:38,700 --> 00:51:43,540
I was fair looking forward to it.
I'd bought an outfit.
702
00:51:43,545 --> 00:51:46,100
And a hat.
Good, put them on.
703
00:51:49,460 --> 00:51:54,060
Oh, Mum. You've got to separate
what's between you and Alan
704
00:51:54,065 --> 00:51:57,500
from this, today.
Because they're not connected.
705
00:51:58,980 --> 00:52:01,460
I really want you to be there,
Mum.
706
00:52:03,460 --> 00:52:05,700
Mum. Get dressed.
707
00:52:07,460 --> 00:52:10,420
You'll have a nice day
with your friends.
708
00:52:13,140 --> 00:52:16,375
Do you remember when I got
my doctorate? The degree ceremony.
709
00:52:16,380 --> 00:52:19,775
And you didn't come. My dad turned
up, and I said, "Where's mum?",
710
00:52:19,780 --> 00:52:22,975
and he looked a bit apologetic
and he said, "Oh she's not here".
711
00:52:22,980 --> 00:52:27,415
You'd obviously had an argument.
And I was really rude to him. I said...
712
00:52:27,420 --> 00:52:29,940
"Well there's no point you being
here if she's not here".
713
00:52:29,945 --> 00:52:33,695
And it really hurt him,
I could see.
714
00:52:33,700 --> 00:52:36,695
He'd bothered to come all that way
and you hadn't,
715
00:52:36,700 --> 00:52:39,260
and I was rude to him.
It was the biggest day of my life
716
00:52:39,265 --> 00:52:41,980
and you weren't there cos you'd had
an argument with him
717
00:52:41,985 --> 00:52:45,180
about God knows what, but I certainly
wasn't part of the equation
718
00:52:45,185 --> 00:52:47,580
when you decided not to come.
719
00:52:49,100 --> 00:52:53,420
It was always me that took
an interest in everything you did,
720
00:52:53,425 --> 00:52:58,020
not him. The facts on that
occasion would suggest otherwise.
721
00:52:58,025 --> 00:53:00,935
I'd looked forward to that day
so much.
722
00:53:00,940 --> 00:53:04,735
I'd imagined it, I'd imagined you,
both of you, in Oxford -
723
00:53:04,740 --> 00:53:07,820
taking you out for lunch,
showing you round my college,
724
00:53:07,825 --> 00:53:12,060
introducing you to my friends.
I had no idea you weren't coming until
725
00:53:12,065 --> 00:53:16,100
I saw my dad on his own
down Cornmarket. I was devastated.
726
00:53:16,105 --> 00:53:19,855
I was gutted.
I know you've had an upset,
727
00:53:19,860 --> 00:53:23,775
but these things are not connected
and if you do this to me again,
728
00:53:23,780 --> 00:53:25,575
then there's absolutely no point
729
00:53:25,580 --> 00:53:28,460
in pretending that we
have any kind of a relationship.
730
00:53:32,500 --> 00:53:35,420
Please, Mum. Get dressed.
731
00:53:43,740 --> 00:53:45,780
Right.
732
00:54:16,580 --> 00:54:20,655
All right?
What is this...? Brilliant.
733
00:54:20,660 --> 00:54:25,020
Where's Lawrence? I don't know.
I expect he'll come with the others.
734
00:54:36,820 --> 00:54:39,300
Whoa, granny! Nice outfit.
735
00:54:42,140 --> 00:54:45,580
She says she's not going. Why?
736
00:54:48,460 --> 00:54:52,295
I don't want to go either.
Oh, now come on!
737
00:54:52,300 --> 00:54:54,780
You can stay here with me
if you like, chicken.
738
00:54:54,785 --> 00:54:56,895
I thought you said you'd
invited Angus.
739
00:54:56,900 --> 00:55:00,740
You can't have Angus turning up on his
own, he'll have no-one to sit with.
740
00:55:00,745 --> 00:55:04,900
Hey, and what about your mother?
You all right, Gran?
741
00:55:06,940 --> 00:55:08,180
I'm staying here.
742
00:55:10,500 --> 00:55:11,660
You'll regret this.
743
00:55:12,700 --> 00:55:14,580
Both of you. You'll regret it.
744
00:55:16,820 --> 00:55:20,655
What's happened?
Please. Please. Both of you.
745
00:55:20,660 --> 00:55:24,060
Think about Caroline.
She doesn't deserve this.
746
00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:42,180
I'm so glad you could come.
747
00:55:43,260 --> 00:55:46,775
You look great! Oh, thank you.
748
00:55:46,780 --> 00:55:48,700
I'm glad you could make it.
749
00:55:48,705 --> 00:55:53,580
Where's Lawrence? He's coming with,
um... Oh, Gran and Alan are here.
750
00:56:11,740 --> 00:56:13,940
Should we all be heading inside?
751
00:56:16,060 --> 00:56:18,900
I'm sorry, love.
I tried to persuade her.
752
00:56:18,905 --> 00:56:23,980
And then Lawrence came round
and then he wouldn't come either.
753
00:56:28,580 --> 00:56:32,380
Well, there's no point you being
here then. Is there?
754
00:56:32,385 --> 00:56:34,540
If she's not here.
755
00:56:49,300 --> 00:56:52,300
What's going on?
Are you not at the wedding? No.
756
00:56:52,305 --> 00:56:54,535
I, Caroline Elizabeth Dawson...
757
00:56:54,540 --> 00:56:58,695
Do take you, Katherine Abike McKenzie,
to be my lawfully wedded wife.
758
00:56:58,700 --> 00:57:00,700
I've got all this money...
Why don't we get married?
759
00:57:00,705 --> 00:57:04,060
I think we could be comfortable.
Have I got anything to say to you?
760
00:57:04,065 --> 00:57:07,815
I don't want to fall out with you.
You're your own worst enemy.
761
00:57:07,820 --> 00:57:11,980
Where you going? Home. To Halifax.
If that's what you really want.
762
00:57:12,030 --> 00:57:16,580
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