All language subtitles for Derek s01e07 The Making Of Derek.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,416 --> 00:00:02,056 What do you think, Karl? Good? 2 00:00:02,057 --> 00:00:04,055 It was all right. the bits I was here for. 3 00:00:04,056 --> 00:00:06,615 I did three weeks. Seemed to go all right. 4 00:00:06,616 --> 00:00:07,775 It's confusing, I don't know why... 5 00:00:07,776 --> 00:00:09,535 Don't big it up. Do not go over the top. 6 00:00:09,536 --> 00:00:11,015 They won't believe you, boy. 7 00:00:11,016 --> 00:00:13,135 You record everything like in a funny order. 8 00:00:13,136 --> 00:00:14,735 I don't know if it was any good or not. 9 00:00:14,736 --> 00:00:17,535 I did an interview, someone said, "Is it good?" I said, "I dunno." 10 00:00:17,536 --> 00:00:19,895 It's like a jigsaw. It's like watching Memento. 11 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:22,217 What is going on? It's all over the shop. 12 00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:24,215 Do it in the right order. 13 00:00:24,216 --> 00:00:26,295 - You can't do it in the right order, can you? - Why not? 14 00:00:26,296 --> 00:00:27,775 So you have to do a scene there 15 00:00:27,776 --> 00:00:31,597 and then you have to get in all the other people to do the next scene, 16 00:00:31,637 --> 00:00:33,875 cos that's the bit you're going to see on the telly. 17 00:00:33,876 --> 00:00:36,077 Your days, we had you for 12 days. 18 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:38,076 How could we do it in order? 19 00:00:38,077 --> 00:00:41,115 Well, I don't know, I just think it was complicated. 20 00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:44,197 It wouldn't surprise me if it's wrong, if you forgot something, now. 21 00:00:45,397 --> 00:00:47,755 One of the episodes won't make sense, because of that. 22 00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,397 Because it's all over the shop. 23 00:00:49,398 --> 00:00:52,516 You're going to change how TV and films... 24 00:00:52,517 --> 00:00:55,915 I don't think it is done like that. I think that's your little way. 25 00:00:55,916 --> 00:00:56,955 I would not do it like that. 26 00:00:56,956 --> 00:00:58,195 They're all done like that. 27 00:00:58,196 --> 00:01:00,717 It's like doing the roof on a house before the foundations. 28 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:04,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 29 00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:32,148 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 30 00:01:32,237 --> 00:01:34,876 Derek's evolved over the years. 31 00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:38,877 I mean, I've had him as a character maybe ten, 15 years. 32 00:01:40,037 --> 00:01:42,995 But he wasn't as sort of three-dimensional. 33 00:01:42,996 --> 00:01:46,475 Before, he just was a funny little nerd that said funny things 34 00:01:46,476 --> 00:01:48,395 'and it was really a way to see' 35 00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:49,955 the world through different eyes. 36 00:01:49,956 --> 00:01:53,397 I did an experiment, but with ants that I found in the garden. 37 00:01:53,398 --> 00:01:57,156 And I put a red ant and a black ant 38 00:01:57,157 --> 00:02:01,157 in a jar overnight to see which one would die. 39 00:02:01,317 --> 00:02:04,315 They both died. You're meant to put air holes in. 40 00:02:04,316 --> 00:02:07,395 But now, he's sort of become a bit of a hero of mine, as well. 41 00:02:07,396 --> 00:02:08,995 I think Hannah doesn't have anything 42 00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:11,075 outside of her working life, so obviously he's 43 00:02:11,076 --> 00:02:12,875 'a primary relationship for her. 44 00:02:12,876 --> 00:02:14,395 'And I think she feels that he's 45 00:02:14,396 --> 00:02:16,235 'one of the kindest people she's ever met, 46 00:02:16,236 --> 00:02:18,595 'and that she thinks there's an absence of that in the' 47 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:21,717 rest of society and that he should be celebrated. 48 00:02:21,718 --> 00:02:25,717 Despite how he looks and is perceived, he's kind 49 00:02:26,237 --> 00:02:29,716 'and sweet and sincere. 50 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:31,676 'He's perfect.' 51 00:02:31,677 --> 00:02:33,116 He's just perfect. 52 00:02:33,117 --> 00:02:35,276 A dog is the most enthusi... 53 00:02:35,277 --> 00:02:37,676 Enthusiastic, is that a word? 54 00:02:37,677 --> 00:02:40,115 ..is the most enthusiastic thing on the planet. 55 00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:42,077 It goes... If you go, "Do you want to do this?" 56 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:46,077 It just goes "Definitely, that's my best thing." 57 00:02:46,877 --> 00:02:50,877 See that? He caught it. And he brings it back. Magical. 58 00:02:51,357 --> 00:02:52,516 'And that's why' 59 00:02:52,517 --> 00:02:54,916 I had to make him look odd. 60 00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:57,035 I didn't want anything to confuse you. 61 00:02:57,036 --> 00:02:59,155 I wanted everything to be a juxtaposition to what 62 00:02:59,156 --> 00:03:01,595 he was really like. So he's got to be scruffy. 63 00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:02,875 'He's got to walk funny. 64 00:03:02,876 --> 00:03:05,757 'He's got to have bad hair. He can't be that bright.' 65 00:03:05,758 --> 00:03:09,196 Because then kindness comes along 66 00:03:09,197 --> 00:03:10,996 and trumps it all. 67 00:03:10,997 --> 00:03:13,395 Hannah, found a baby bird. Fallen out of its nest. 68 00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:15,317 - So it's all... It's all weak. - Oh. 69 00:03:15,318 --> 00:03:16,476 Call the RSPCA. 70 00:03:16,477 --> 00:03:17,877 Oh, I can't call the RSPCA, Derek. 71 00:03:17,878 --> 00:03:19,036 Why not? 72 00:03:19,037 --> 00:03:20,875 I think you should put it back where you found it. 73 00:03:20,876 --> 00:03:22,155 I can't. What if a cat gets it? 74 00:03:22,156 --> 00:03:23,595 Or a magpie or summat? 75 00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:25,077 Put it somewhere safe, then. 76 00:03:25,078 --> 00:03:27,356 No, no. Call... Call Rolf Harris! 77 00:03:27,357 --> 00:03:30,437 I can't. Don't be silly, I can't call Rolf Harris. 78 00:03:30,438 --> 00:03:31,556 Call Bill Oddie. 79 00:03:31,557 --> 00:03:32,676 Call Bill Oddie. 80 00:03:32,677 --> 00:03:34,635 - No, I'm not calling Bill Oddie. - Why not? 81 00:03:34,636 --> 00:03:36,597 Well, I haven't got his number. 82 00:03:36,598 --> 00:03:40,597 Well, this is sickening! 83 00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:44,436 Aargh. What am I going to do? 84 00:03:44,437 --> 00:03:46,755 Living in a dream world, int he? Hey? 85 00:03:46,756 --> 00:03:48,235 Scruffy old bird looks a bit peaky 86 00:03:48,236 --> 00:03:50,155 and he wants to start calling Bill Oddie up. 87 00:03:50,156 --> 00:03:52,475 'What did you feel like? First acting role?' 88 00:03:52,476 --> 00:03:54,915 If people have only seen me travelling about the world, 89 00:03:54,916 --> 00:03:56,235 dressing up as women, or 90 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,317 dancing about with tribes, that isn't me. 91 00:03:58,318 --> 00:03:59,596 No. 92 00:03:59,597 --> 00:04:01,595 So, in a way, this is more me. 93 00:04:01,596 --> 00:04:04,115 - I've got a broken cup here, that needs fixing. - I can see... 94 00:04:04,116 --> 00:04:06,195 I've got a meerkat, a solar-powered meerkat 95 00:04:06,196 --> 00:04:08,355 from the garden, it's knackered, I'll fix that. 96 00:04:08,356 --> 00:04:10,635 I fixed the toaster this morning Pop back next week. 97 00:04:10,636 --> 00:04:12,757 This'll be sorted and I'll have another pile of shit to fix. 98 00:04:12,758 --> 00:04:13,996 But Dougie... 99 00:04:13,997 --> 00:04:15,795 I don't know what you want from me. 100 00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:19,755 Initially, when he did the pilot and he sort of liked it, right? 101 00:04:19,756 --> 00:04:22,075 I sort of wrote it for him and it was sort of, you know, 102 00:04:22,076 --> 00:04:24,557 an extension of his bald, Manc, twat, 103 00:04:24,558 --> 00:04:26,876 whinging, gimp, moron... 104 00:04:26,877 --> 00:04:28,916 You know. 105 00:04:28,917 --> 00:04:31,916 Yeah? You'd agree, yeah? 106 00:04:31,917 --> 00:04:33,915 We were out having something to eat. 107 00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,635 And he just said, "I'm doing Derek, 108 00:04:35,636 --> 00:04:36,757 "do you want a bit in it?" 109 00:04:36,758 --> 00:04:39,356 And he's always tried to cram me in 110 00:04:39,357 --> 00:04:40,795 'everything that he's done. 111 00:04:40,796 --> 00:04:43,155 'You know, he did in Invention Of Lying. 112 00:04:43,156 --> 00:04:45,077 'Did a bit for that and was cut out. 113 00:04:45,078 --> 00:04:46,996 'I was in Cemetery Junction. 114 00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:48,395 'Didn't want to be in it, 115 00:04:48,396 --> 00:04:50,115 'but he sort of said, you know, 116 00:04:50,116 --> 00:04:51,355 '"The catering's good." 117 00:04:51,356 --> 00:04:53,395 'Said, "They're doing pork chops today."' 118 00:04:53,396 --> 00:04:56,555 I said, "All right, I'll see you in an hour." So I went down, did that. 119 00:04:56,556 --> 00:04:58,915 Again, with this, he just sort of said, you know, 120 00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:01,515 "Just a couple of lines. Just have you in the background." 121 00:05:01,516 --> 00:05:04,075 'Then, as time went on, I saw scripts and it was like, 122 00:05:04,076 --> 00:05:05,675 '"There's loads of stuff here." 123 00:05:05,676 --> 00:05:08,435 'And some pretty heavy, you know, heavy proper acting. 124 00:05:08,436 --> 00:05:10,235 'Having to get angry and stuff' 125 00:05:10,236 --> 00:05:12,595 on cue. I was like, "I can't do this," and he's going, 126 00:05:12,596 --> 00:05:13,995 "It'll be fine, "it'll be fine." 127 00:05:13,996 --> 00:05:15,435 He was nervous at first. 128 00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:18,717 I had to really... I was like the Manc whisperer. 129 00:05:18,718 --> 00:05:20,396 I had to get him in. 130 00:05:20,397 --> 00:05:23,355 I had to get him in and go, "Come on, Karl, it'll be all right." 131 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:26,515 And I even cut lines at first, cos he was nervous about it. 132 00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:28,635 And then I said, "I think you can do this." 133 00:05:28,636 --> 00:05:30,115 He did it and he's been great. 134 00:05:30,116 --> 00:05:32,435 There's times when I think I'm well out of me depth, 135 00:05:32,436 --> 00:05:33,515 and I shouldn't be here. 136 00:05:33,516 --> 00:05:35,955 'You know, you've got Kerry who's like a proper actor. 137 00:05:35,956 --> 00:05:38,077 'She can turn it on when she has to. 138 00:05:38,078 --> 00:05:40,196 'Ricky's really good as Derek. 139 00:05:40,197 --> 00:05:42,356 'I mean, you can watch a scene' 140 00:05:42,357 --> 00:05:45,355 and get a lump in your throat, even though you know it's not real. 141 00:05:45,356 --> 00:05:47,515 And, you know, I'm not like that, really. 142 00:05:47,516 --> 00:05:49,955 I can watch a lot of films and not shed a tear, you know? 143 00:05:49,956 --> 00:05:53,475 Girlfriend's like, "You're hard, you, you haven't got a heart," and everything. 144 00:05:53,476 --> 00:05:56,075 It's normally Elephant Man and Kes are the two films that 145 00:05:56,076 --> 00:05:59,395 make me cry, so it's a bit embarrassing when you're sat here. 146 00:05:59,396 --> 00:06:00,757 It was like therapy for me. 147 00:06:00,758 --> 00:06:01,956 Yeah. 148 00:06:01,957 --> 00:06:04,395 Cos when you say, "You've got to get angry in this bit," 149 00:06:04,396 --> 00:06:07,955 I actually imagine that thing that I'm getting annoyed about, 150 00:06:07,956 --> 00:06:09,515 I imagine that has happened. 151 00:06:09,516 --> 00:06:10,755 That's called acting. 152 00:06:10,756 --> 00:06:12,435 No, but it's not, cos it's not... 153 00:06:12,436 --> 00:06:13,995 It is. How do you think...? 154 00:06:13,996 --> 00:06:16,235 A proper... You know when I had to shout at Shelley? 155 00:06:16,236 --> 00:06:17,675 - Yeah. - I was like that after. 156 00:06:17,676 --> 00:06:19,275 - Oh, really? - Proper adrenalin. 157 00:06:19,276 --> 00:06:20,435 He was really wound up. 158 00:06:20,436 --> 00:06:21,995 Forget bungee jumping and all that. 159 00:06:21,996 --> 00:06:24,275 I was like, "I want to..." Grr. I was really angry. 160 00:06:24,276 --> 00:06:25,915 You didn't give a shit about your mam. 161 00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:28,435 - Hannah's been looking after her... - I gave a shit. I've been very busy. 162 00:06:28,436 --> 00:06:30,275 - Oh, you've been busy? - Yes. 163 00:06:30,276 --> 00:06:32,075 Doesn't matter any more. Your mam's dead. 164 00:06:32,076 --> 00:06:33,755 - You've got your ring, haven't you? - Yes. 165 00:06:33,756 --> 00:06:36,395 Does it fit all right? Does it fit? Lovely. You've got the ring. 166 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,435 Fuck off then. Fuck off! 167 00:06:37,436 --> 00:06:38,635 All right, thank you. 168 00:06:38,636 --> 00:06:40,435 - Fuck off, you and all! - Come on! 169 00:06:40,436 --> 00:06:43,075 Take your box with you. You forgot. It's your mam's memories, 170 00:06:43,076 --> 00:06:45,395 but you don't give a shit about that, do ya? 171 00:06:45,396 --> 00:06:46,357 Fucking makes me sick. 172 00:06:46,358 --> 00:06:47,396 Come on! 173 00:06:47,397 --> 00:06:51,397 Fucking hell, as if she needs jewellery. Mr fucking T. 174 00:06:54,037 --> 00:06:55,475 Just for my own amusement. 175 00:06:55,476 --> 00:06:57,075 No way this is going to go in. 176 00:06:57,076 --> 00:07:00,277 Just for my own amusement. This is a DVD extra. I know it is. 177 00:07:00,278 --> 00:07:04,277 I know it is now, but look at that. Look at that! 178 00:07:05,917 --> 00:07:09,716 I cannot tell you how good this is! 179 00:07:09,717 --> 00:07:13,356 I'm actually going to burst. 180 00:07:13,357 --> 00:07:15,797 So, we're doing a scene on the beach 181 00:07:15,798 --> 00:07:17,956 where Derek and Dougie and Kev 182 00:07:17,957 --> 00:07:19,797 come down with the residents. 183 00:07:19,798 --> 00:07:22,676 I mean, it's not a day off, is it? 184 00:07:22,677 --> 00:07:25,277 It's working, but the camera crew turned up 185 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:29,277 dressed like Crockett and Tubbs. 186 00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:33,756 All right? 187 00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:34,836 Ready for work. 188 00:07:34,837 --> 00:07:36,397 Ready for work. 189 00:07:45,437 --> 00:07:47,675 Broadstairs, I think, is a wonderful place. 190 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,395 We've only been here 24 hours 191 00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:51,595 but it's been like a lifetime of enjoyment. 192 00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:54,677 I've enjoyed it very much. Still haven't finished yet. 193 00:07:54,678 --> 00:07:57,676 No. Nice hotel. 194 00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:00,716 Comfortable bed. Nice bar. Very nice bar. 195 00:08:00,717 --> 00:08:04,716 So nice, I stayed up half the night. Never mind. 196 00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,237 These guys, take it easy here... 197 00:08:06,238 --> 00:08:09,076 This is how they made the Matrix. 198 00:08:09,077 --> 00:08:10,836 Let's twist again 199 00:08:10,837 --> 00:08:14,036 Like we did last summer... 200 00:08:14,037 --> 00:08:15,556 Great. Ready? 201 00:08:15,557 --> 00:08:17,437 I love down here. It's really nice 202 00:08:17,438 --> 00:08:20,076 and family loving. 203 00:08:20,077 --> 00:08:21,876 The people are nice. 204 00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:23,676 The little cafe's nice. 205 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:27,035 Everything is nice and all the blue skies and everything. 206 00:08:27,036 --> 00:08:31,037 The only problem I have, I can't get any signal for my phone. 207 00:08:33,677 --> 00:08:35,915 Is that the only umbrella you could find? 208 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,515 It's not mine. Someone gave it me, 209 00:08:37,516 --> 00:08:40,557 cos they were worried I was going to get skin cancer on me head. 210 00:08:41,837 --> 00:08:45,516 What's funny about that? No joking about skin cancer. 211 00:08:45,517 --> 00:08:46,995 No, we weren't laughing at that. 212 00:08:46,996 --> 00:08:48,555 It's just that, very specifically, 213 00:08:48,556 --> 00:08:50,275 you were worried about it on your head. 214 00:08:50,276 --> 00:08:52,955 Well, because of this wig you've given me. 215 00:08:52,956 --> 00:08:56,195 The whole benefit of a wig is to protect your head. 216 00:08:56,196 --> 00:08:56,875 No, it's not. 217 00:08:56,876 --> 00:08:58,035 It don't do anything. 218 00:08:58,036 --> 00:08:59,955 A wig is to look like you've got hair. 219 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:01,677 Yeah, but this doesn't do that, does it? 220 00:09:01,678 --> 00:09:04,636 No. This accentuates how awful your... 221 00:09:04,637 --> 00:09:07,637 It's keeping me ears warm. It's about 36 degrees today. 222 00:09:08,637 --> 00:09:11,556 I do not need this on me head. 223 00:09:11,557 --> 00:09:14,635 If there's going to be one thing that critics are going to slag 224 00:09:14,636 --> 00:09:15,995 this off for, it's that wig. 225 00:09:15,996 --> 00:09:19,075 I did tell ya. When they do, I'll phone you up and go, "Told you." 226 00:09:19,076 --> 00:09:20,355 What? What will they say? 227 00:09:20,356 --> 00:09:22,997 They'll say, "The whole thing's ruined by a ridiculous wig." 228 00:09:22,998 --> 00:09:26,836 Same haircut. They've got the same haircuts. 229 00:09:26,837 --> 00:09:29,995 'When I first saw it, I thought, "Whoa. " Then after a while...' 230 00:09:29,996 --> 00:09:32,157 Every day I put that on, people were laughing at me. 231 00:09:33,277 --> 00:09:36,195 Three weeks in and they still went, "Look at that fucking head." 232 00:09:36,196 --> 00:09:37,515 No, I got used to it. 233 00:09:37,516 --> 00:09:39,877 But, to be fair, they say that with or without the wig. 234 00:09:39,878 --> 00:09:42,676 Don't they, to be fair? 235 00:09:42,677 --> 00:09:44,796 Yeah, I'd shave it off. 236 00:09:44,797 --> 00:09:47,236 Or wear a wig, if I was you. 237 00:09:47,237 --> 00:09:50,796 And what difference would it make to me life? 238 00:09:50,797 --> 00:09:52,036 Seriously? 239 00:09:52,037 --> 00:09:54,876 Your head would be warmer. 240 00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:56,196 Good point. 241 00:09:56,197 --> 00:09:58,717 'I've done a lot of media stuff with Extras' 242 00:09:58,718 --> 00:10:00,316 and the Golden Globes, 243 00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:02,597 and, you know, spoof things for Comic Relief. 244 00:10:02,598 --> 00:10:05,596 I'd sort of dealt in that, because it's 245 00:10:05,597 --> 00:10:09,236 irresistible to write about what you know. 246 00:10:09,237 --> 00:10:10,475 'I worked in an office 247 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,995 'for ten years and I wrote about it. 248 00:10:11,996 --> 00:10:13,955 'But, by then, I was in media, 249 00:10:13,956 --> 00:10:16,597 'so you write about it. The Office wasn't out and out drama' 250 00:10:16,598 --> 00:10:18,436 but there was a pathos, 251 00:10:18,437 --> 00:10:21,715 there was a sort of... There was a weight to it, you know? 252 00:10:21,716 --> 00:10:23,515 There were, I like to think, quite 253 00:10:23,516 --> 00:10:25,357 three-dimensional characters. 254 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,476 But this is a return to more of 255 00:10:27,477 --> 00:10:29,676 those Office values, I guess. 256 00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:33,517 Ordinary people, real people, real problems and more so. 257 00:10:33,518 --> 00:10:35,836 I put, "Victoria is a real asset. 258 00:10:35,837 --> 00:10:38,795 "She learns quickly and she gets on with everyone. 259 00:10:38,796 --> 00:10:41,275 "And the residents love her and she's clearly a smart 260 00:10:41,276 --> 00:10:43,237 "and conscientious young lady. 261 00:10:43,238 --> 00:10:47,237 "Ten out of ten for effort." 262 00:10:48,797 --> 00:10:51,476 Oh, what's the matter, darling? 263 00:10:51,477 --> 00:10:54,277 I just never got ten out of ten for anything before. 264 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,236 Oh, that's silly. 265 00:10:57,237 --> 00:10:58,795 Everything's not a test. 266 00:10:58,796 --> 00:11:01,075 I bet you're brilliant at loads of stuff. 267 00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:03,517 No-one's ever been this nice to me before, either. 268 00:11:03,518 --> 00:11:07,316 Oh. Well, you're rubbish, then. How's that? 269 00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:09,356 That's better. 270 00:11:09,357 --> 00:11:13,357 The Office sort of like touched on existentialism 271 00:11:14,077 --> 00:11:17,796 but it touched on the existentialism of being 30. 272 00:11:17,797 --> 00:11:21,797 You know, this touches on the existentialism of being 90, sometimes. 273 00:11:23,077 --> 00:11:27,077 So there's a bit more weight to that. 274 00:11:27,397 --> 00:11:31,397 I loves working here, but I'm always sad. 275 00:11:32,237 --> 00:11:36,237 Going to stay though, to help the people that are still alive. 276 00:11:39,837 --> 00:11:42,197 I mean, when they're dead, they're not sad any more, 277 00:11:42,198 --> 00:11:46,197 and I'd rather be sad than anyone else. 278 00:11:48,157 --> 00:11:50,556 'Once a day, there's been, like,' 279 00:11:50,557 --> 00:11:54,557 welling up in, like, you know, one of the scenes. 280 00:11:54,877 --> 00:11:58,197 Particularly, as I say, with some of the older actors and that. 281 00:11:58,198 --> 00:12:01,636 'They've got such a weight and a pathos 282 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:05,637 'and they bring a reality to it, you know.' 283 00:12:06,037 --> 00:12:09,636 I kept forgetting that the old people were actors. 284 00:12:09,637 --> 00:12:12,036 Yeah. It was very real, wasn't it? 285 00:12:12,037 --> 00:12:13,957 It felt like a real old people's home. 286 00:12:13,958 --> 00:12:16,996 'Yeah. Also, just talking to some of them. 287 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:20,436 'I used bits when they were just talking normally 288 00:12:20,437 --> 00:12:22,195 'and them really falling asleep. 289 00:12:22,196 --> 00:12:24,835 'And sometimes they didn't hear what I said.' 290 00:12:24,836 --> 00:12:27,917 I'd leave in the, "What?" They genuinely didn't hear. 291 00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:29,716 But that was nice to use. 292 00:12:29,717 --> 00:12:31,995 So, it was very real. And that's so important, 293 00:12:31,996 --> 00:12:34,195 particularly as this is a fake documentary. 294 00:12:34,196 --> 00:12:36,835 One little bit of bad acting, or a bad line, 295 00:12:36,836 --> 00:12:39,635 or a bad shot of something gives the whole game away. 296 00:12:39,636 --> 00:12:41,435 It blows the whole thing, so... 297 00:12:41,436 --> 00:12:42,757 But they were great. 298 00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:46,636 Anything but love 299 00:12:46,637 --> 00:12:49,797 Ooh, yeah! 300 00:12:53,957 --> 00:12:56,476 That was fantastic! 301 00:12:56,477 --> 00:12:58,597 Now, I want to marry him, now. 302 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,000 I sort of call it a comedy drama but it's not a comedy drama. 303 00:13:03,097 --> 00:13:06,617 There are dramatic bits but only just like real life 304 00:13:06,716 --> 00:13:09,156 and it is a sitcom, it is a comedy, 305 00:13:09,201 --> 00:13:13,201 but what's different is... sincerity flows through it. 306 00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:20,599 You know, what we were laughing at with David Brent was the blind spot, 307 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,359 the difference between how he perceives himself 308 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,601 and how we perceive him. 309 00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:27,120 I don't give shitty jobs. 310 00:13:27,121 --> 00:13:30,400 If a good man comes to me 311 00:13:30,401 --> 00:13:34,401 and says, "Thank you, David, for the opportunity and continued support 312 00:13:34,841 --> 00:13:37,959 "in the work-related arena, but I've done that, I want to better myself, 313 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,961 "I want to move on," then I can make that dream come true too, 314 00:13:42,241 --> 00:13:44,760 AKA for you. 315 00:13:44,761 --> 00:13:48,159 Whereas, with these, the characters sort of say what's on their mind 316 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,759 and they mean it and they're sort of right, you know. 317 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,479 Derek says things and there's no difference between what 318 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,439 he says and what we hear and what he means. 319 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:57,399 It's all the same thing. He's sincere. 320 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:01,399 He does... he does think that about animals and old people and... 321 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,559 you know, and Hannah says what she means, 322 00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,439 and Dougie says exactly what he means, 323 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,479 and Kev says exactly what he means. 324 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,439 Having a party for my birthday. 325 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:11,399 I can choose the food and the songs, can't I? 326 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,679 And music that's put on. Can I choose my presents? 327 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,079 Well, no, because then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it? 328 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,079 I know what you want for your birthday, mate. 329 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:19,721 What? To pop your cherry, didn't ya? 330 00:14:19,722 --> 00:14:21,160 What? 331 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:24,039 I know what he wants for his birthday. He needs to pop his cherry. 332 00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,481 What's pop your cherry? 333 00:14:25,482 --> 00:14:26,520 Think. No. 334 00:14:26,521 --> 00:14:29,839 What have you got that looks like a cherry and needs popping? 335 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:32,401 End of your knob, mate. Looks like a cherry, don't it? 336 00:14:32,402 --> 00:14:35,480 Needs popping, up a woman, innit, boys? 337 00:14:35,481 --> 00:14:38,241 End of his knob looks a cherry that needs popping up a woman, yeah? 338 00:14:38,242 --> 00:14:41,920 I've got an old walnut if anybody's interested? 339 00:14:41,921 --> 00:14:44,161 I think that's the difference with this 340 00:14:44,162 --> 00:14:46,400 and traditional sitcoms. 341 00:14:46,401 --> 00:14:50,401 There's no level of irony, there's no juxtaposition between 342 00:14:52,241 --> 00:14:55,880 what people say and think and how we perceive them, 343 00:14:55,881 --> 00:14:59,881 which makes it... which makes it sweeter and nicer and different. 344 00:15:00,041 --> 00:15:01,641 You're nice though anyway. 345 00:15:01,642 --> 00:15:04,760 How do you know that? 346 00:15:04,761 --> 00:15:06,280 I can tell. 347 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:09,800 Joan says sometimes good people do bad things, 348 00:15:09,801 --> 00:15:12,200 so give them a second chance. 349 00:15:12,201 --> 00:15:13,440 Wait, who is Joan? 350 00:15:13,441 --> 00:15:16,480 Old lady, what lived here. 351 00:15:16,481 --> 00:15:19,520 But she died. 352 00:15:19,521 --> 00:15:20,880 She was wise, 353 00:15:20,881 --> 00:15:23,601 cos she lived a long time so she knew lots of stuff 354 00:15:23,602 --> 00:15:26,360 and she told me it. 355 00:15:26,361 --> 00:15:29,121 It upsets me just thinking about her cos I... 356 00:15:29,122 --> 00:15:33,121 I loved her so much. 357 00:15:35,321 --> 00:15:39,321 Sorry, bruv. 358 00:15:40,361 --> 00:15:41,720 Sorry. 359 00:15:41,721 --> 00:15:45,560 Let's cut there a minute. Let's just do that bit again. 360 00:15:45,561 --> 00:15:48,521 Just have a little rant cos I'll use bits and I'll jump cut it as well. 361 00:15:48,522 --> 00:15:50,760 The stage is here. 362 00:15:50,761 --> 00:15:52,361 Back stage is there. Yeah. 363 00:15:52,362 --> 00:15:55,360 Cut there. Great. Great. 364 00:15:55,361 --> 00:15:57,921 I think being a director is being able to answer 365 00:15:57,922 --> 00:16:00,880 a series of questions confidently. 366 00:16:00,881 --> 00:16:03,801 It's like being on Mastermind but you can't get the answer wrong. 367 00:16:03,802 --> 00:16:07,801 It's like my specialised subject is answering questions 368 00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:10,801 and whatever answer you give is the definitive answer. 369 00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:12,760 Your minute starts now. 370 00:16:12,761 --> 00:16:14,840 Red or green? 371 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:18,841 You know, so... it's playing, it's the biggest toy box in the world. 372 00:16:20,961 --> 00:16:22,000 It's fun. 373 00:16:22,001 --> 00:16:24,519 I watch a lot of interviews with actors 374 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,399 and everything's always lovely, you know, 375 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,639 and I can't believe that's true because I've been on 376 00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:31,839 so many film sets where it's been a nightmare from start to finish. 377 00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,359 Who are these guys? They're lying. They're lying. 378 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:38,361 But this, honestly, the set times, you know, it's relaxed hours, 379 00:16:38,601 --> 00:16:40,040 it's a relaxed set, 380 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:44,041 and just that freedom to kind of do your thing, 381 00:16:44,521 --> 00:16:47,840 add a little bit of yourself to the production, 382 00:16:47,841 --> 00:16:50,879 that to me is... That's something new and rewarding, 383 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,559 very rewarding and very satisfying, so, yeah, man, I'm happy. 384 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:55,399 It's been really nice because 385 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,759 there's a lot of scope for improvising and 386 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,799 there is a script and obviously we stick to the script, but there's 387 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,601 obviously tons of opportunity to come off and to try things out. 388 00:17:03,602 --> 00:17:07,601 Ricky. I've always admired him but I was a bit afraid, 389 00:17:08,521 --> 00:17:11,840 you know, nervous, coming on cos I didn't know 390 00:17:11,841 --> 00:17:14,640 whether he would have liked me or not. 391 00:17:14,641 --> 00:17:18,200 But gradually I think he got to like me, you know, 392 00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:21,560 and he's a wonderful person. 393 00:17:21,561 --> 00:17:25,561 And he's the most relaxed director I've ever worked with. 394 00:17:29,121 --> 00:17:31,479 He's amazing. I've never worked with anyone like him, 395 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,279 because everything is like one take. 396 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:36,079 I think he's like Clint Eastwood but with a crazy laugh. 397 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,961 There's a lot of dried up muff here. 398 00:17:37,962 --> 00:17:39,081 Fuck off! 399 00:18:09,801 --> 00:18:12,840 Exactly. Exactly, yeah. 400 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:13,880 Lunch! 401 00:18:13,881 --> 00:18:17,881 So here we are then. This is like the little catering area. 402 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:22,079 They've got a proper thing round there, like a proper little truck. 403 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,359 That's where the magic happens, in that. 404 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,399 Hello. All right. 405 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,599 You can sit there all day and fill your face 406 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,719 and people just keep bringing you more and more. 407 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,039 So, that's what's different than An Idiot Abroad, 408 00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,879 cos there I'm sucking on a cow bollock or something, 409 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,401 whereas here it's... it is top quality food. 410 00:18:37,402 --> 00:18:40,640 Look. I've never thought of even doing that. 411 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:44,159 Suzanne doesn't do that at home. She's never done that. 412 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,959 It's sort of Yorkshire pudding with bacon in it. 413 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,399 Never even thought about putting them together. 414 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,801 But now here, the food has been amazing. 415 00:18:51,802 --> 00:18:55,801 Every day pie, brilliant pie and the puddings... 416 00:18:55,841 --> 00:18:58,279 He said the pie twice. He was so salivating, 417 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,041 I swear I'm actually thinking about it. 418 00:19:00,042 --> 00:19:01,080 "Pie. Pie." 419 00:19:01,081 --> 00:19:03,281 "Hello, Karl, what do you want?" 420 00:19:03,282 --> 00:19:04,600 "Pie! Pie!" 421 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:06,360 Look, pork pie. 422 00:19:06,361 --> 00:19:10,239 You see, I can't help it but that's... I've ordered steak 423 00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,039 but this is a little starter. 424 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,479 Seriously, if you're an actor and you're getting married, 425 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,801 do it whilst you're working cos you won't get a better buffet... 426 00:19:17,802 --> 00:19:19,880 for free. 427 00:19:19,881 --> 00:19:20,959 And it's lunch as well, 428 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,679 cos lunch at home is the one that you always struggle with. 429 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,519 Breakfast, you know what you're gonna have. 430 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,441 You're going to have a full breakfast, some toast, 431 00:19:27,442 --> 00:19:31,200 crumpet, a pikelet, cornflakes, that sort of thing. 432 00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:33,760 Do people still have cornflakes? 433 00:19:33,761 --> 00:19:35,199 Of course they have cornflakes! 434 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,079 That's got to be the blandest breakfast ever. 435 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,159 What do you mean, do people still have cornflakes? 436 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:40,641 What world are you living in?! 437 00:19:40,642 --> 00:19:42,720 No, but I mean... 438 00:19:42,721 --> 00:19:45,281 No, I mean, it's a kid's breakfast, isn't it? 439 00:19:45,282 --> 00:19:47,320 No. I like cornflakes. 440 00:19:47,321 --> 00:19:48,400 I mean... 441 00:19:48,401 --> 00:19:51,521 Rice Krispies you might say are a bit kiddie because of the snap, crackle and the pop, 442 00:19:51,522 --> 00:19:55,320 but cornflakes are... It's cornflakes. Bran flakes. 443 00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:56,999 Bran flakes are different... 444 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,959 Shredded Wheat. ..they're good for you. 445 00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,359 Don't try and backtrack. No. 446 00:20:00,360 --> 00:20:03,881 It's like you're in this world where they don't have cornflakes any more. 447 00:20:03,882 --> 00:20:06,600 No! That's fucking unbelievable. 448 00:20:06,601 --> 00:20:09,601 "Cornflakes? Do people still have cornflakes?" 449 00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:14,360 I can't believe it! 450 00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:18,361 So, get involved in acting if you like your food. 451 00:20:20,041 --> 00:20:24,041 Anyway, going for me steak and chips. 452 00:20:25,601 --> 00:20:29,041 What's your thoughts looking back of the shoot though, Karl? 453 00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:31,080 Any fond memories? 454 00:20:31,081 --> 00:20:33,721 They'll be one I'll never forget, but we don't want to talk about that. 455 00:20:33,722 --> 00:20:34,760 No, go on. 456 00:20:34,761 --> 00:20:36,399 No, you don't want to talk about it. 457 00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,799 We do. Come on. What is it? 458 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,279 You must know what is it that I'll never forget. 459 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:41,359 I've got a guess. 460 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,401 Farting on my head. 461 00:20:42,402 --> 00:20:44,960 Yeah. Let me explain. 462 00:20:44,961 --> 00:20:48,399 I wrote into the script that Derek likes wrestling, 463 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,159 purely... And I wrote this six months ago knowing that one day 464 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,879 we'd have to film a scene where I wrestled Karl 465 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,281 and he couldn't argue because it's an acting role. 466 00:20:57,282 --> 00:21:00,760 Right, Derek. That's, that's tight that. 467 00:21:00,761 --> 00:21:02,999 He can't breathe. Look, he's going red. 468 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,439 You have to let him do it. 469 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:07,401 You were like a crab that had been captured by an octopus, weren't you? 470 00:21:07,402 --> 00:21:11,160 I had him all locked up with your head near my groin 471 00:21:11,161 --> 00:21:13,360 and I had a wind problem. 472 00:21:13,361 --> 00:21:16,521 Look at the red and it goes white for a little while. 473 00:21:16,522 --> 00:21:19,600 Can you get that? Can you see that, look? 474 00:21:19,601 --> 00:21:21,761 What are you doing? 475 00:21:24,401 --> 00:21:28,401 Right. That isn't even funny. You dirty bastard! Fuck off! 476 00:21:34,041 --> 00:21:36,439 Fucking that is... You are disgusting! 477 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:38,159 That isn't even funny that. 478 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,161 That's enough to make me go, "That is enough. I'm not doing it any more." 479 00:21:41,162 --> 00:21:42,521 Fucking hell! 480 00:21:46,201 --> 00:21:49,919 You were right, we shouldn't have done it after lunch. 481 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,481 So, is that going to make it in? 482 00:21:51,482 --> 00:21:55,480 It's a good DVD extra if it doesn't make it in the show. 483 00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:58,960 That's good, innit? Not even for a proper scene. 484 00:21:58,961 --> 00:22:02,240 Shitting on my head for a DVD extra. 485 00:22:02,241 --> 00:22:03,960 It stunk. 486 00:22:03,961 --> 00:22:07,961 When you did it to De Niro on Extras, how did he take it? 487 00:22:10,881 --> 00:22:14,881 "You farting at me? I don't see anyone else here." 488 00:22:57,224 --> 00:23:15,240 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 489 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:19,093 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 490 00:23:19,143 --> 00:23:23,693 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39326

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