Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,186 --> 00:00:04,929
Attention, squad.
2
00:00:04,967 --> 00:00:06,538
Put your hands together
3
00:00:06,624 --> 00:00:09,390
for the long-anticipated
reunion of...
4
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:12,067
The DDC!
5
00:00:12,163 --> 00:00:13,184
- DD...
- C!
6
00:00:13,270 --> 00:00:14,187
- DD...
- C!
7
00:00:14,273 --> 00:00:15,334
Put a J with a G...
8
00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:16,429
You get DD...
9
00:00:16,515 --> 00:00:18,171
- C!
- C!
10
00:00:18,265 --> 00:00:19,358
Uh, the gas face.
11
00:00:19,444 --> 00:00:20,718
What the hell
is the DDC?
12
00:00:20,804 --> 00:00:21,984
I don't know,
but I love it!
13
00:00:22,070 --> 00:00:23,320
The DDC is the Dope...
14
00:00:23,406 --> 00:00:24,441
- Denim...
- Crew.
15
00:00:24,527 --> 00:00:25,791
Our 20-year high school reunion
16
00:00:25,877 --> 00:00:27,750
is tonight, and the party
is '90s-themed,
17
00:00:27,804 --> 00:00:29,352
so we're dressing the way
we did back then,
18
00:00:29,437 --> 00:00:31,397
AKA
hella fresh.
19
00:00:31,483 --> 00:00:33,487
Can't wait to see everyone
we graduated with
20
00:00:33,636 --> 00:00:35,423
and lie to them
about what I've been up to
21
00:00:35,508 --> 00:00:36,851
for my own amusement.
22
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:40,194
It's gonna be Fib City,
population: Gina Clooney.
23
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,516
But Jake, how can
you be excited
24
00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:42,710
to return
to your high school,
25
00:00:42,795 --> 00:00:44,718
the scene of...
Tattlegate?
26
00:00:44,804 --> 00:00:46,196
What's Tattlegate?
Why haven't I heard
27
00:00:46,281 --> 00:00:48,041
- anything about it?
- It was junior year
28
00:00:48,172 --> 00:00:49,654
and Jake was riding high...
29
00:00:49,739 --> 00:00:52,195
Charles, no one wants
to hear this story...
30
00:00:52,405 --> 00:00:53,441
from you.
31
00:00:53,526 --> 00:00:54,538
It was junior year,
32
00:00:54,624 --> 00:00:56,444
and Jake was riding high.
33
00:00:56,529 --> 00:00:58,533
Sophomore year was rough,
but now I was back
34
00:00:58,618 --> 00:01:01,144
with a hot new look:
an earring and long hair.
35
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,798
Which was my look,
and he just copied it.
36
00:01:02,883 --> 00:01:04,800
And it worked!
I was finally cool,
37
00:01:04,885 --> 00:01:06,410
and becoming friends
with the most popular kid
38
00:01:06,495 --> 00:01:08,543
in school: Brandon Bliss.
39
00:01:08,628 --> 00:01:10,414
- Dope name; sounds hot.
- He was hot, Rosa.
40
00:01:10,499 --> 00:01:12,187
For the record,
he could barely read.
41
00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:13,609
He didn't have to read,
Gina.
42
00:01:13,695 --> 00:01:15,508
He lost his virginity
when he was 12 years old.
43
00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:16,773
Which is horrifying.
44
00:01:16,859 --> 00:01:18,070
But it wasn't back then!
Back then,
45
00:01:18,155 --> 00:01:20,632
it was...
everything.
46
00:01:20,787 --> 00:01:22,530
He asked me to ditch class
one day with him
47
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,030
and his buddies,
steal a school van,
48
00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:25,391
and go get drunk
at his parents' cabin,
49
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,187
but the day before
we were supposed to go,
50
00:01:27,273 --> 00:01:29,607
someone ratted Brandon out,
and he got suspended!
51
00:01:29,692 --> 00:01:31,218
He thought I was the one
who told,
52
00:01:31,304 --> 00:01:32,374
and from that day forward,
53
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,655
everyone called me
"The Tattler."
54
00:01:34,776 --> 00:01:36,389
Tattler.
It's a sexy nickname.
55
00:01:36,482 --> 00:01:37,804
It was not
a sexy nickname!
56
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,109
It was a scarlet letter,
57
00:01:39,195 --> 00:01:40,898
and it ruined
my senior year,
58
00:01:41,197 --> 00:01:43,810
but luckily,
I'm over all that now.
59
00:01:43,918 --> 00:01:44,834
Not me.
I'm gonna go
60
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,015
to this reunion tonight
61
00:01:46,109 --> 00:01:47,281
and kick Brandon Bliss
in the butthole.
62
00:01:47,366 --> 00:01:49,351
Horrifying, but that won't
be necessary, Charles,
63
00:01:49,437 --> 00:01:51,812
for my awesome life will do
the butthole-kicking this eve.
64
00:01:51,898 --> 00:01:53,796
I've got a sweet job,
and a super-smart,
65
00:01:53,882 --> 00:01:55,477
incredible wife.
Tonight's gonna be awesome.
66
00:01:55,562 --> 00:01:56,742
- Right, Gina?
- Damn straight!
67
00:01:56,827 --> 00:01:58,007
- DD...
- C!
68
00:01:58,093 --> 00:01:59,155
- DD...
- C!
69
00:01:59,243 --> 00:02:00,280
- DD...
- C!
70
00:02:00,527 --> 00:02:03,187
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
Season 06 Episode 03
71
00:02:03,410 --> 00:02:06,351
*BROOKLYN NINE-NINE*
Episode Title: "The Tattler"
72
00:02:17,812 --> 00:02:19,929
Synchronized by srjanapala
73
00:02:21,045 --> 00:02:22,968
Wow, this place
hasn't changed
74
00:02:23,070 --> 00:02:24,921
one bit
in 20 years.
75
00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:26,805
It's a real indictment
of the public school system.
76
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:28,694
Jake!
Tina!
77
00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:30,507
No way!
Mikey J!
78
00:02:30,633 --> 00:02:32,249
Amy, this is Mike Joseph,
79
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:35,780
AKA the lead funk bassist
from my legendary ska band,
80
00:02:35,866 --> 00:02:38,866
Skalvester Skallone.
We had one song.
81
00:02:38,952 --> 00:02:40,086
♪ Oh
82
00:02:40,172 --> 00:02:43,133
- ♪ Stop or my mom will ska ♪
- ♪ Stop or my mom will ska ♪
83
00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:45,219
- ♪ Stop or my mom will ska ♪
- ♪ Stop or my mom will ska ♪
84
00:02:45,304 --> 00:02:46,616
- Whoa!
- Hey, man.
85
00:02:46,702 --> 00:02:48,279
We were so bad.
I can't believe
86
00:02:48,365 --> 00:02:49,858
we thought
we were gonna make it.
87
00:02:49,991 --> 00:02:51,132
So what have you been up to,
man?
88
00:02:51,217 --> 00:02:53,396
Well, I'm still trying to
get the music thing started.
89
00:02:53,518 --> 00:02:55,373
Oh, cool, cool, cool.
Never give up.
90
00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:57,725
Anyway, how are you, Gina?
What have you been up to?
91
00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,397
Nothing crazy.
Yeah, just writing
92
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,313
- those "Thor" movies.
- Seriously?
93
00:03:01,399 --> 00:03:02,991
Oh, my God.
Tell me everything.
94
00:03:03,077 --> 00:03:05,342
Legally, I can't get into it
too much,
95
00:03:05,428 --> 00:03:06,722
but just know that
the next one
96
00:03:06,808 --> 00:03:08,246
will have a lot more
full frontal.
97
00:03:08,371 --> 00:03:10,928
Well, if you need some ska
for your soundtrack...
98
00:03:11,014 --> 00:03:12,084
Oh!
99
00:03:12,170 --> 00:03:13,383
This is them.
This is Marvel.
100
00:03:13,469 --> 00:03:14,578
They probably want
to talk about.
101
00:03:14,663 --> 00:03:17,670
"Thor 4: More Thor."
I gotta take this.
102
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:18,983
Okay?
All right.
103
00:03:19,069 --> 00:03:20,473
So how you doing, Jake?
104
00:03:20,558 --> 00:03:23,202
I know the end of high school
was a little... rough.
105
00:03:23,324 --> 00:03:24,850
Oh, uh...
106
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:27,233
Jake's killing it now.
He's a detective.
107
00:03:27,319 --> 00:03:30,019
Irie, mon!
Irie, irie!
108
00:03:30,219 --> 00:03:31,309
Very nice.
109
00:03:31,394 --> 00:03:33,264
God, you must have
some crazy stories.
110
00:03:33,350 --> 00:03:34,506
Oh, I don't know.
I mean,
111
00:03:34,592 --> 00:03:35,741
is successfully negotiating
112
00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:37,366
a high-tension
hostage situation
113
00:03:37,452 --> 00:03:39,389
- in a bank crazy?
- Yes!
114
00:03:39,475 --> 00:03:41,006
Oh, well, then, I guess
I do have
115
00:03:41,092 --> 00:03:43,170
some crazy stories, mon!
116
00:03:43,943 --> 00:03:45,217
Gosh, it's so cool
117
00:03:45,303 --> 00:03:47,342
how we all still dress
the same.
118
00:03:49,068 --> 00:03:50,959
Is it so much to ask?
You know what I'm saying?
119
00:03:51,045 --> 00:03:52,452
Why is everyone
gathered around the radio?
120
00:03:52,537 --> 00:03:54,811
Ooh, are they testing the
emergency broadcasting system?
121
00:03:54,896 --> 00:03:56,334
What?
No.
122
00:03:56,419 --> 00:03:57,727
We're listening to a contest.
123
00:03:57,812 --> 00:03:59,342
This is 93.7,
124
00:03:59,428 --> 00:04:00,947
The Jamhouse, with...
125
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:03,233
- JC and the Horndog!
- JC and the Horndog!
126
00:04:03,584 --> 00:04:04,858
FM radio...
127
00:04:04,944 --> 00:04:07,467
Yeah, the hosts
are beyond disgusting,
128
00:04:07,553 --> 00:04:10,087
but they do a fun game
where they play a mystery sound
129
00:04:10,172 --> 00:04:12,155
and callers guess what
it is for a cash prize.
130
00:04:12,241 --> 00:04:14,264
Shh, they're about to play
the new sound!
131
00:04:16,219 --> 00:04:17,226
It's a crinkle.
I solved it.
132
00:04:17,311 --> 00:04:18,936
Yes, but you have to know
what object
133
00:04:19,022 --> 00:04:19,959
is making the crinkle.
134
00:04:20,045 --> 00:04:21,695
- But that's impossible.
- It could be anything.
135
00:04:21,780 --> 00:04:23,077
Yes, sir.
That's the game.
136
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:25,315
- It's a bag of potato chips.
- Don't be an idiot!
137
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,389
It's a bag of corn chips.
138
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:28,108
Well, this is
a total waste of time.
139
00:04:28,194 --> 00:04:29,841
Sure, but you can still
have fun,
140
00:04:29,927 --> 00:04:31,523
- even if you're wasting time.
- That's absurd.
141
00:04:31,608 --> 00:04:33,482
Productivity is what
makes things fun.
142
00:04:33,568 --> 00:04:34,983
That's why humans go to work.
143
00:04:36,171 --> 00:04:37,348
It is?
144
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:38,623
Hey.
So you know
145
00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:40,320
how Alicia and I broke up
because she moved to London,
146
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,748
then we tried to make it work,
but the distance
147
00:04:41,834 --> 00:04:42,968
was too much
and we broke up again?
148
00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:44,233
No.
The last thing you told me
149
00:04:44,319 --> 00:04:45,343
about yourself was that
you were bi.
150
00:04:45,428 --> 00:04:46,599
Well, a lot has happened
since then.
151
00:04:46,684 --> 00:04:48,046
Anyway, I'm dating
two other people.
152
00:04:48,131 --> 00:04:49,709
So much juice at one time.
153
00:04:49,795 --> 00:04:50,670
I'm drowning.
154
00:04:50,756 --> 00:04:52,671
Oh, gross. Charles, this is why
I don't tell you anything.
155
00:04:52,756 --> 00:04:53,725
- I take it back.
- Okay.
156
00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,691
Well, it's early stages,
but they both tagged me
157
00:04:55,779 --> 00:04:56,781
in a bunch of photos online,
158
00:04:56,866 --> 00:04:58,070
and they found out
about each other.
159
00:04:58,155 --> 00:04:59,405
- Yikes.
- Yeah, I know.
160
00:04:59,491 --> 00:05:01,061
I shouldn't 'gram so much,
but my brunch friends say
161
00:05:01,146 --> 00:05:02,640
it's the only way to promote
my handmade jewelry line.
162
00:05:02,725 --> 00:05:04,514
Brunch? What?
Homemade... who... Why?
163
00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:05,819
Charles, focus.
164
00:05:05,905 --> 00:05:06,968
Anyway, they're both annoyed,
165
00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:08,124
and now I have to
choose one of them,
166
00:05:08,209 --> 00:05:09,677
and I cannot make up my mind.
167
00:05:09,763 --> 00:05:11,497
It's insane.
I never have trouble
168
00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:12,739
making decisions.
169
00:05:12,844 --> 00:05:14,500
Ugh.
Choose the daughter.
170
00:05:14,609 --> 00:05:16,419
I always know exactly
what to do,
171
00:05:16,505 --> 00:05:18,365
but for the first time
in my life, I am stumped.
172
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,153
Rosa, you've come
to the right man.
173
00:05:20,238 --> 00:05:22,153
Boyles are genetically
indecisive beings.
174
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,943
So I chose the worst
possible person to help me?
175
00:05:24,028 --> 00:05:25,146
No.
We've developed
176
00:05:25,232 --> 00:05:26,912
a foolproof system to help us
make choices.
177
00:05:27,017 --> 00:05:28,901
It used to take me so long
to decide what to wear
178
00:05:28,986 --> 00:05:30,552
that I'd never change
my clothes.
179
00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:32,163
Now look what I have on.
180
00:05:32,434 --> 00:05:34,295
Is this different than what
you were wearing yesterday?
181
00:05:34,380 --> 00:05:35,568
Barely.
182
00:05:35,732 --> 00:05:37,736
Wow, your life
sounds amazing.
183
00:05:37,821 --> 00:05:39,346
I'm really happy
it worked out for you,
184
00:05:39,431 --> 00:05:41,609
you know, especially with
the whole Tattler thing.
185
00:05:42,362 --> 00:05:44,143
What?
The Tattler? Wow.
186
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:45,752
I haven't heard that
in a long time.
187
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:46,846
Who even was the Tattler?
188
00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:48,089
You.
That's why I'm bringing it up.
189
00:05:48,174 --> 00:05:49,433
Oh, right, I remember now
that I was
190
00:05:49,518 --> 00:05:50,862
misidentified
as the Tattler.
191
00:05:50,948 --> 00:05:52,535
That's so funny.
But I wasn't the Tattler,
192
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:53,738
so I'm pretty sure
you got this wrong.
193
00:05:53,823 --> 00:05:55,604
No, no, no, I think
I go... hey, Eric.
194
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,698
Didn't people call Jake
the Tattler?
195
00:05:57,869 --> 00:05:59,525
Oh, yeah!
196
00:06:00,377 --> 00:06:02,281
Oh, good, more people
are getting involved.
197
00:06:02,367 --> 00:06:04,963
After my initial design,
they said it couldn't be done.
198
00:06:05,049 --> 00:06:06,634
They said it was too tall,
too flashy...
199
00:06:06,719 --> 00:06:08,331
Building codes, bureaucracy.
200
00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:11,276
Cut to the Freedom Tower
as you see it today.
201
00:06:11,362 --> 00:06:12,417
Wow.
202
00:06:12,503 --> 00:06:14,393
Thank you.
Yeah, I agree.
203
00:06:14,479 --> 00:06:16,174
Look, nobody cares
about that stuff.
204
00:06:16,260 --> 00:06:17,390
We're all adults now.
205
00:06:17,476 --> 00:06:19,706
You're a cop.
I work at a coffin factory.
206
00:06:19,792 --> 00:06:21,780
I'm not sitting around,
thinking about how you tattled.
207
00:06:21,865 --> 00:06:23,620
Yes, we all have jobs
and work on coffins.
208
00:06:23,706 --> 00:06:25,697
I didn't tattle, but whatevs.
We don't have to keep talking about it.
209
00:06:25,782 --> 00:06:28,002
- Great. - Great. - Great.
- Great. - Great.
210
00:06:28,392 --> 00:06:29,787
But you were the Tattler,
right?
211
00:06:29,873 --> 00:06:31,093
Brandon Bliss was my friend!
212
00:06:31,178 --> 00:06:32,424
Why would I tattle
on my friend?
213
00:06:32,510 --> 00:06:34,705
The nickname was inaccurate,
is all I'm saying.
214
00:06:34,791 --> 00:06:35,968
Anyways, as you can tell,
215
00:06:36,053 --> 00:06:37,417
I am totally over it.
216
00:06:37,503 --> 00:06:39,167
Ah, man, it's the Tattler.
217
00:06:39,253 --> 00:06:40,815
I didn't tattle!
218
00:06:41,510 --> 00:06:42,703
So...
219
00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,778
I think I might not
be over it.
220
00:06:46,034 --> 00:06:48,081
Ugh, this is so unfair.
221
00:06:48,206 --> 00:06:49,885
Everyone remembers me
as the Tattler,
222
00:06:49,971 --> 00:06:51,198
but somehow,
no one remembers
223
00:06:51,284 --> 00:06:52,760
that Darren "Doo Doo" Donaldson
224
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,276
crapped himself during PE.
225
00:06:54,362 --> 00:06:55,323
Look at him out there,
226
00:06:55,409 --> 00:06:56,721
dancing on the dance floor
227
00:06:56,807 --> 00:06:58,299
like he's lived
a doo doo-free life.
228
00:06:58,417 --> 00:06:59,916
Jake, this isn't so bad.
229
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:02,174
History is full
of great tattlers.
230
00:07:02,260 --> 00:07:04,120
Martin Luther King
tattled on racists.
231
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,394
That's a pretty
undercutting way
232
00:07:05,479 --> 00:07:06,566
of describing
his accomplishments.
233
00:07:06,651 --> 00:07:08,471
I was trying to help.
It felt bad.
234
00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:09,910
It's not even the nickname
that bothers me.
235
00:07:09,995 --> 00:07:11,253
It's that I'm being
wrongfully accused.
236
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:13,104
I didn't tattle.
I mean, if it was the truth,
237
00:07:13,190 --> 00:07:15,120
go ahead and call me
the Tattler all day long.
238
00:07:15,206 --> 00:07:17,280
- Hey, Tattler.
- Not cool, Jason!
239
00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:18,963
Let's just go home.
240
00:07:19,049 --> 00:07:20,776
No!
We're not going anywhere.
241
00:07:20,862 --> 00:07:22,862
You were wrongfully accused.
We're cops.
242
00:07:22,948 --> 00:07:24,471
Let's just find
the real Tattler
243
00:07:24,557 --> 00:07:25,729
and prove your innocence.
244
00:07:25,815 --> 00:07:26,638
Yes!
I love it!
245
00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:27,885
Why learn to grow
246
00:07:27,971 --> 00:07:29,440
when you can fix the past?
247
00:07:29,526 --> 00:07:31,323
This is exactly why
I don't need therapy.
248
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,160
Not sure that's the lesson
I want you to take away from this.
249
00:07:33,245 --> 00:07:34,902
Too late! We're gonna prove
I wasn't the Tattler.
250
00:07:34,987 --> 00:07:36,780
Therapy is a scam.
Let's do this.
251
00:07:37,757 --> 00:07:38,824
No.
252
00:07:38,909 --> 00:07:40,827
The sound was more
of a "khh."
253
00:07:40,913 --> 00:07:42,522
Ooh, how goes
the crinkle hunt?
254
00:07:42,608 --> 00:07:44,358
I see you're not just
wasting time.
255
00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:46,048
You're also wasting
tin.
256
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,835
It was only one piece.
257
00:07:49,312 --> 00:07:51,097
Okay, it was a ton of tin.
258
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:53,054
Pretty sure it's a guy
eating a sandwich.
259
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:53,926
I'll prove it to you.
260
00:07:54,011 --> 00:07:55,937
I'm not buying you
any more sandwiches, Scully.
261
00:07:56,023 --> 00:07:57,030
I'm doing this for us!
262
00:07:57,116 --> 00:07:58,491
Guys, we can't fight.
263
00:07:58,577 --> 00:08:00,148
That's what the Horndog wants.
264
00:08:00,234 --> 00:08:01,469
We're getting close.
We just need
265
00:08:01,554 --> 00:08:02,672
to keep testing more things.
266
00:08:02,757 --> 00:08:04,851
Oh, that's a good idea.
267
00:08:04,937 --> 00:08:07,023
Have you tried
a piece of paper?
268
00:08:07,851 --> 00:08:08,960
Is that your crinkle?
269
00:08:09,069 --> 00:08:10,780
Ooh, maybe... oh.
270
00:08:11,044 --> 00:08:13,389
Maybe it's these bags
of coffee beans.
271
00:08:13,554 --> 00:08:15,554
All right, sir.
I think you've made your point.
272
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,203
My point?
Oh, I'm just trying to have fun
273
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,382
by wasting time.
274
00:08:18,468 --> 00:08:21,679
Oh, maybe it's this
crinkly-crunkly yogurt.
275
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:25,690
Terry heard a crinkle.
276
00:08:25,804 --> 00:08:27,085
Holt heard a crinkle, too.
277
00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:28,866
So suddenly, it's not a waste
of time?
278
00:08:28,952 --> 00:08:30,796
Not a waste of time
if we win!
279
00:08:31,222 --> 00:08:32,791
What are you waiting for,
Jeffords?
280
00:08:32,999 --> 00:08:34,531
Call the Horndog!
281
00:08:34,741 --> 00:08:36,405
So then I said
to Steve,
282
00:08:36,515 --> 00:08:38,749
"What if we drop the
'-lications, '
283
00:08:38,983 --> 00:08:39,968
just call them 'apps'?"
284
00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,713
That's incredible.
285
00:08:42,085 --> 00:08:43,991
Do you miss him?
Oh, every day, Laura.
286
00:08:44,077 --> 00:08:45,319
Every day.
You should talk
287
00:08:45,405 --> 00:08:46,960
to Quentin Chase.
He's a big-time.
288
00:08:47,046 --> 00:08:48,133
Silicon Valley investor now,
289
00:08:48,218 --> 00:08:49,265
and he was just telling me
all about it.
290
00:08:49,350 --> 00:08:50,429
Quentin, come here.
291
00:08:50,577 --> 00:08:51,929
You have got to talk to Gina.
292
00:08:52,038 --> 00:08:53,463
She basically invented apps.
293
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,203
They were going
to be called "lications."
294
00:08:55,289 --> 00:08:56,772
You really bungled that.
295
00:08:56,858 --> 00:08:58,258
- What you been working on?
- Currently,
296
00:08:58,343 --> 00:08:59,616
I have been working
297
00:08:59,702 --> 00:09:02,054
on an app called
Toddler.
298
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:04,397
It's like Tinder,
but for toddlers.
299
00:09:04,483 --> 00:09:05,577
Tinder for toddlers.
300
00:09:05,663 --> 00:09:07,335
I like it.
How are you gonna spell that?
301
00:09:07,421 --> 00:09:08,460
How many D's?
302
00:09:08,608 --> 00:09:09,671
Five.
303
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:13,015
All right, we should start
by talking to Brandon Bliss
304
00:09:13,101 --> 00:09:14,937
and find out who told him
you were the Tattler.
305
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,421
Unfortunately, Bliss
is not here.
306
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:19,155
Probably in the VIP section
at a Fatboy Slim concert.
307
00:09:19,241 --> 00:09:20,929
Would that be cool
for a 37-year-old?
308
00:09:21,015 --> 00:09:22,555
The funk soul brother
is timeless, Ames.
309
00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:24,663
All right, I don't know
who told Brandon,
310
00:09:24,749 --> 00:09:26,289
but I heard it was someone
on the football team.
311
00:09:26,374 --> 00:09:28,195
Okay, well, we need
more information than that,
312
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,225
so take me back to the day.
Spare no details.
313
00:09:30,311 --> 00:09:31,491
Okay, I saw Brandon
314
00:09:31,577 --> 00:09:33,086
after second period,
and everything seemed tight.
315
00:09:33,171 --> 00:09:35,171
♪ Hey now,
you're an all-star ♪
316
00:09:35,257 --> 00:09:36,843
♪ Get your game on
go play ♪
317
00:09:36,929 --> 00:09:39,085
But then, when I saw him
after third period...
318
00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:40,827
something had clearly changed.
319
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,121
♪ Get paid
320
00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:44,483
♪ All that glitters
is gold ♪
321
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:45,733
After that, there was
322
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,749
little color left in the world
for young Jake.
323
00:09:47,843 --> 00:09:51,507
My earring, less gold,
my JNCO jeans less purple.
324
00:09:51,593 --> 00:09:52,945
Are you sure
you were becoming cool?
325
00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:53,959
Yeah.
Why?
326
00:09:54,044 --> 00:09:55,171
I know how to solve this.
327
00:09:55,257 --> 00:09:56,789
We just have to find out
which football player
328
00:09:56,874 --> 00:09:58,374
had third period
with Brandon Bliss.
329
00:09:58,483 --> 00:09:59,694
We need his class schedule.
330
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:00,963
Yeah, but where
are we gonna find that?
331
00:10:01,048 --> 00:10:03,030
In the coolest room
in the school.
332
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:06,827
Good lord!
333
00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:08,218
You coulda just picked
the lock.
334
00:10:08,304 --> 00:10:09,452
I know.
I'm sorry.
335
00:10:09,538 --> 00:10:11,663
I'm just so amped up
about Admin.
336
00:10:11,749 --> 00:10:14,538
Okay, this is the Boyle
decision-making manual.
337
00:10:14,624 --> 00:10:16,147
One of these sections
will help you
338
00:10:16,233 --> 00:10:17,444
with choosing your partner.
339
00:10:17,530 --> 00:10:18,547
Here we go.
What do you prefer,
340
00:10:18,632 --> 00:10:20,296
eyes or butt,
brains or body?
341
00:10:20,382 --> 00:10:21,397
- Brains.
- Uh...
342
00:10:21,483 --> 00:10:22,882
Sorry, no, that's
for deciding lunch.
343
00:10:22,967 --> 00:10:24,163
- Horrifying.
- Oh, I found
344
00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,202
the romance section.
345
00:10:25,311 --> 00:10:27,288
Now, first, I will need
the names
346
00:10:27,374 --> 00:10:28,828
of the two people
you're choosing between.
347
00:10:28,913 --> 00:10:30,734
I will not be telling you
any information about them.
348
00:10:30,819 --> 00:10:32,202
No problem.
We can work with that.
349
00:10:32,296 --> 00:10:33,929
I will just call them
by their initials.
350
00:10:34,015 --> 00:10:34,890
- No.
- I will call them.
351
00:10:34,976 --> 00:10:35,968
"Couscous" and "Quinoa."
Whatever.
352
00:10:36,054 --> 00:10:37,534
- Okay.
- Now, for this to work right, you need
353
00:10:37,619 --> 00:10:39,299
to answer these questions
without thinking.
354
00:10:39,721 --> 00:10:40,805
- Who makes you laugh more?
- Quinoa.
355
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:41,945
- Who has softer lips?
- Couscous.
356
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:43,109
A new Cirque du Soleil's
in town.
357
00:10:43,194 --> 00:10:44,336
You have the two best seats
in the house.
358
00:10:44,421 --> 00:10:45,805
- Who are you bringing?
- Is this a reward
359
00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:46,804
- or a punishment?
- You decide.
360
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:48,000
- Quinoa.
- Great. Next question:
361
00:10:48,085 --> 00:10:49,116
You die and become a ghost.
362
00:10:49,201 --> 00:10:50,249
The rules of the afterlife
363
00:10:50,335 --> 00:10:51,400
are that of the movie "Casper."
364
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:52,460
Whose house
would you rather haunt?
365
00:10:52,546 --> 00:10:54,062
How many more
of these questions are there?
366
00:10:54,147 --> 00:10:55,367
309.
367
00:10:55,453 --> 00:10:57,530
- Okay, I've got something.
- Oh.
368
00:10:57,631 --> 00:10:59,233
That's not Brandon's profile.
It's mine.
369
00:10:59,319 --> 00:11:01,219
I just want a quick peek
at your attendance record.
370
00:11:01,304 --> 00:11:02,819
Zero absences.
371
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:04,882
Oh, mama...
372
00:11:04,991 --> 00:11:06,100
Printing this for later.
373
00:11:06,186 --> 00:11:07,573
Keep it in your pants,
Santiago.
374
00:11:07,658 --> 00:11:09,679
Oh, that's exactly
where it's going.
375
00:11:10,794 --> 00:11:13,319
Okay, here's Brandon's info.
376
00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:14,787
Third period, first semester...
377
00:11:14,873 --> 00:11:16,147
Any of these people
on the football team?
378
00:11:16,232 --> 00:11:18,714
Scott Alford, Taylor Black...
Wow, Tom Brady?
379
00:11:18,799 --> 00:11:20,542
Different Tom Brady.
He was in theater.
380
00:11:20,627 --> 00:11:21,772
Although he was the MVP
381
00:11:21,858 --> 00:11:23,023
of that year's production
of "Fiddler."
382
00:11:23,108 --> 00:11:24,436
- Hm.
- Wait a minute.
383
00:11:24,522 --> 00:11:25,811
Danny Matthews.
That's the guy.
384
00:11:25,897 --> 00:11:26,983
He was on the football team.
385
00:11:27,068 --> 00:11:28,246
That's the bastard
who set me up.
386
00:11:28,331 --> 00:11:29,842
Yeah, and look at this.
387
00:11:30,176 --> 00:11:32,285
You did so much
community service.
388
00:11:32,778 --> 00:11:34,432
Me like-y.
389
00:11:36,566 --> 00:11:38,645
Guys, you know how I thought
it would be so much fun
390
00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:39,481
to lie to everyone tonight?
391
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:40,861
Yeah. Did it finally
catch up with you?
392
00:11:40,946 --> 00:11:42,267
No, the opposite.
Someone wants to buy
393
00:11:42,352 --> 00:11:43,616
a company I made up
on the spot.
394
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,750
The elevator pitch
had him drooling.
395
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,586
As a mother,
I'm always struggling
396
00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:48,985
to find quality playdates.
397
00:11:49,071 --> 00:11:51,977
Most two-year-olds
are boring, lame duds.
398
00:11:52,063 --> 00:11:53,891
All of my daughter's friends
suck.
399
00:11:53,977 --> 00:11:56,367
Well, with Todddddler's
proprietary algorithm,
400
00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:59,146
you will be matched
with top tots,
401
00:11:59,231 --> 00:12:00,321
and those boring duds...
402
00:12:00,406 --> 00:12:01,687
They'll stay where they belong:
403
00:12:01,773 --> 00:12:04,263
the hell away
from you and your family.
404
00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:07,568
I'm not really sure
how to close this.
405
00:12:07,674 --> 00:12:09,482
Maybe you guys could pretend
to be heirs
406
00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:12,779
to a canned-goods fortune
who want to buy my company!
407
00:12:12,865 --> 00:12:14,319
Gina, we don't have time
for your thing right now.
408
00:12:14,404 --> 00:12:16,279
Oh, smart.
Big-time him.
409
00:12:16,365 --> 00:12:17,793
That's the perfect idea.
410
00:12:17,879 --> 00:12:19,195
I won't forget you
when I'm rich.
411
00:12:19,242 --> 00:12:20,796
Thanks so much,
Jake and Jake's wife.
412
00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:22,460
She knows your name.
Oh, look!
413
00:12:22,550 --> 00:12:24,032
It's Danny Matthews!
But he'll never talk
414
00:12:24,117 --> 00:12:25,007
with all these people around.
415
00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:26,843
Not a problem.
Just be in the science lab
416
00:12:26,929 --> 00:12:28,498
in ten minutes.
I'll get him alone.
417
00:12:28,584 --> 00:12:29,523
What are you gonna do?
418
00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:30,570
Let's just say I'm not above
419
00:12:30,656 --> 00:12:32,226
using my feminine wiles.
420
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:33,819
Danny Matthews,
I'm with the school.
421
00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:35,008
You need to follow me
right now.
422
00:12:35,093 --> 00:12:37,039
- Is everything...
- I said now, mister.
423
00:12:38,690 --> 00:12:40,050
I'm one caller away.
424
00:12:40,151 --> 00:12:41,492
I can't believe
we figured it out.
425
00:12:41,578 --> 00:12:43,578
And I can't believe
it took you this long.
426
00:12:43,726 --> 00:12:45,671
Yogurt is literally
your one thing.
427
00:12:45,756 --> 00:12:47,492
- Okay, okay.
- Well, I'm just saying.
428
00:12:47,578 --> 00:12:49,408
If the sound were
eating damp rice,
429
00:12:49,526 --> 00:12:51,080
I would've gotten it
immediately.
430
00:12:51,166 --> 00:12:52,433
Guys, they're taking
another guess.
431
00:12:52,518 --> 00:12:54,049
All right,
Brenda from Yonkers.
432
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,995
It's time for you
to name that sound.
433
00:12:56,081 --> 00:12:57,166
Hi.
Quick shout-out
434
00:12:57,252 --> 00:12:58,995
to the nurses
at United Pediatric.
435
00:12:59,081 --> 00:13:00,963
This money'll do those kids
a lot of good.
436
00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:02,838
Cry me a river.
Brenda from Yonkers.
437
00:13:02,924 --> 00:13:04,907
We've all had budget cuts.
Just take your guess.
438
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:06,104
Is it Styrofoam?
439
00:13:06,190 --> 00:13:07,229
Wrong!
440
00:13:07,706 --> 00:13:09,811
Oh, I can't believe
she guessed Styrofoam.
441
00:13:09,897 --> 00:13:11,190
What a dumb nurse.
442
00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:13,416
Next caller, you're on
with the Horndog.
443
00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,418
It's me!
444
00:13:14,504 --> 00:13:16,682
The sound is a yogurt
445
00:13:16,768 --> 00:13:18,166
being opened.
446
00:13:18,354 --> 00:13:21,018
That is...
447
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:22,127
Wrong!
448
00:13:22,213 --> 00:13:23,698
What?
No!
449
00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:25,651
You b-b-b-blew it!
450
00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:27,502
Damn you, Horndog.
451
00:13:27,588 --> 00:13:29,670
Okay, I have tabulated
your responses,
452
00:13:29,756 --> 00:13:31,499
and the results
are definitive.
453
00:13:31,584 --> 00:13:33,487
- Amazing.
- It's a dead tie.
454
00:13:33,693 --> 00:13:34,863
This is dumb.
I'm just gonna end it
455
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,063
- with both of them.
- Rosa, stop.
456
00:13:36,148 --> 00:13:37,448
There is one more method.
457
00:13:37,534 --> 00:13:39,073
Ancient Boyles believed
458
00:13:39,159 --> 00:13:41,799
that suspending yourself
by your feet forces your blood
459
00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:43,659
to the decision center
of your brain.
460
00:13:43,901 --> 00:13:47,526
We call this method
the "Upside-Down Coward."
461
00:13:47,612 --> 00:13:49,516
You want me to hang
from the ceiling like a bat?
462
00:13:49,602 --> 00:13:51,284
The bat is nature's
most decisive animal.
463
00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:52,939
The creature
that flails around frantically?
464
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,159
Those are all
micro-decisions.
465
00:13:54,244 --> 00:13:56,085
Now, let's get you strapped up.
466
00:13:56,654 --> 00:13:58,570
- How do you feel?
- Nauseous.
467
00:13:58,656 --> 00:14:00,617
Good.
It's working.
468
00:14:00,819 --> 00:14:02,007
- Q?
- Yeah.
469
00:14:02,093 --> 00:14:03,118
Get off the phone.
470
00:14:03,204 --> 00:14:05,820
Now, I'm not sure how serious
you were about funding,
471
00:14:05,966 --> 00:14:09,241
but I should tell you
there's 103 other bidders.
472
00:14:09,327 --> 00:14:11,582
Oof, I am not a fan
of getting into bidding wars.
473
00:14:11,668 --> 00:14:14,187
Then don't make an offer,
'cause I want babies on my app,
474
00:14:14,273 --> 00:14:15,937
but not in my boardroom.
475
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,283
Oh, damn, Gina.
476
00:14:17,369 --> 00:14:18,781
Did you just
"oh, damn" yourself?
477
00:14:18,867 --> 00:14:19,870
Someone had to.
478
00:14:19,956 --> 00:14:21,085
Okay.
479
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,351
Let's talk numbers.
480
00:14:23,437 --> 00:14:25,499
Mr. Peralta, I believe
you know Danny Matthews.
481
00:14:25,595 --> 00:14:27,210
Jake.
Hey, what's going on, man?
482
00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:28,491
The answer to that question
483
00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:31,351
goes back to a brisk day
in 1997,
484
00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:33,831
a day you told a lie.
485
00:14:33,917 --> 00:14:36,966
But the lying stops right now!
486
00:14:37,128 --> 00:14:38,515
Oh, no!
487
00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:40,214
You broke some poor kid's
science project!
488
00:14:40,299 --> 00:14:41,265
We have to fix it.
489
00:14:41,351 --> 00:14:42,477
Kind of in the middle
of something.
490
00:14:42,562 --> 00:14:44,022
Oh, you know what?
Krebs cycle.
491
00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:45,024
I got this.
492
00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:46,853
Great.
So, Danny,
493
00:14:46,939 --> 00:14:47,986
true or false?
494
00:14:48,072 --> 00:14:49,293
You were on the football team.
495
00:14:49,446 --> 00:14:51,101
- True?
- And true or false:
496
00:14:51,187 --> 00:14:53,192
you had third period
with Brandon Bliss.
497
00:14:53,278 --> 00:14:54,542
Mm, I honestly
don't remember...
498
00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:55,719
It was true!
We checked the records,
499
00:14:55,804 --> 00:14:57,199
and I have one more question.
500
00:14:57,285 --> 00:14:59,125
Ooh, Jake, can you get me
that oxygen on the floor?
501
00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:00,234
- Little red guy.
- What?
502
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,452
Sorry. You know what?
Yeah, I'll get it.
503
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:04,417
Why did you tell
Brandon Bliss
504
00:15:04,503 --> 00:15:05,429
that I was the Tattler?
505
00:15:05,515 --> 00:15:07,406
Because you were.
I saw you talking to principal.
506
00:15:07,491 --> 00:15:08,616
I remember it, clear as day.
507
00:15:08,702 --> 00:15:09,852
Look, you couldn't
have seen me,
508
00:15:09,937 --> 00:15:11,640
because I wasn't there.
I didn't tattle.
509
00:15:11,726 --> 00:15:13,515
Man, it was you, okay?
510
00:15:13,601 --> 00:15:15,561
You had your long hair
and your little earring,
511
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,312
and the denim jacket you are
literally wearing right now.
512
00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:20,538
Oh, no.
513
00:15:20,725 --> 00:15:22,202
It wasn't me,
514
00:15:23,088 --> 00:15:24,757
but it was the DDC.
515
00:15:25,234 --> 00:15:26,406
Gina.
516
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,945
Jake, guess who just sold
her app idea.
517
00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:30,046
Don't trust her.
518
00:15:30,132 --> 00:15:31,561
Everything she's told you
is a lie.
519
00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:33,273
She made up the company
and everything else.
520
00:15:33,358 --> 00:15:34,475
- She's a liar.
- Jake,
521
00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:35,843
whatever strategy
this is
522
00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:37,788
is not necessary.
I already closed the deal.
523
00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:40,062
I know you were the Tattler.
524
00:15:43,125 --> 00:15:45,109
Amy, I'm ready to go.
525
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:46,312
Yep, totally.
526
00:15:46,398 --> 00:15:47,765
I'm almost done
with this project,
527
00:15:47,851 --> 00:15:48,985
but I don't need
to finish it,
528
00:15:49,070 --> 00:15:50,507
because what matters
529
00:15:50,593 --> 00:15:52,859
is that you are going
through something,
530
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,546
and as your wife,
and love of your life...
531
00:15:55,632 --> 00:15:57,327
Are you vamping
so you can finish that?
532
00:15:57,413 --> 00:15:58,477
I only have
two molecules left.
533
00:15:58,562 --> 00:16:00,687
- Come on, man.
- Jake, we need to talk.
534
00:16:00,779 --> 00:16:02,648
Yeah, you guys
do need to talk.
535
00:16:02,734 --> 00:16:05,434
That sounds excellent.
Friendship, so much history...
536
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:07,080
I'm just gonna get this
out of your way.
537
00:16:07,192 --> 00:16:08,859
Oh, man.
538
00:16:09,390 --> 00:16:10,484
What the hell, Gina?
539
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,542
You ruined
my entire senior year.
540
00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:13,554
How could you do that to me?
541
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,991
Jake, I was only
trying to help.
542
00:16:15,084 --> 00:16:16,344
You were hanging out
with those guys
543
00:16:16,429 --> 00:16:18,351
and getting close,
and they weren't good people.
544
00:16:18,467 --> 00:16:20,532
Do you know why Brandon
wasn't at the reunion tonight?
545
00:16:20,617 --> 00:16:21,836
I don't know.
Probably 'cause he was shooting
546
00:16:21,921 --> 00:16:23,071
a beer commercial
where the whole plot
547
00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:24,321
was that everyone wanted
to sleep with him.
548
00:16:24,406 --> 00:16:26,265
No, 'cause he's on parole.
549
00:16:26,406 --> 00:16:28,410
He's not allowed to leave
the state of Delaware.
550
00:16:28,533 --> 00:16:30,202
Oh, okay, so that's
obviously a bummer,
551
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:31,719
but I wasn't gonna end up
like him.
552
00:16:31,805 --> 00:16:32,788
You were starting to.
You wanted
553
00:16:32,874 --> 00:16:34,346
to steal a van with him,
554
00:16:34,432 --> 00:16:35,374
and I told you not to,
555
00:16:35,460 --> 00:16:36,492
and you weren't listening
to me.
556
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:38,453
I mean, what would've happened
if you got caught?
557
00:16:38,538 --> 00:16:39,538
I don't know.
558
00:16:39,624 --> 00:16:41,484
You would never
have become a cop.
559
00:16:41,570 --> 00:16:43,421
Yeah, I'm the reason
you're a cop.
560
00:16:43,507 --> 00:16:45,032
I'm your origin story, dude.
561
00:16:45,118 --> 00:16:46,507
You can't be mad at me.
562
00:16:46,627 --> 00:16:47,852
I feel like
I'm still pretty mad.
563
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:49,991
Peter Parker wasn't mad
at his spider.
564
00:16:50,077 --> 00:16:52,061
Yeah, but they weren't
best friends before the bite,
565
00:16:52,146 --> 00:16:54,063
and it still doesn't explain
how you let everyone think
566
00:16:54,148 --> 00:16:55,796
I was the Tattler for 20 years.
567
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,741
Well, I didn't want
to lose our friendship.
568
00:16:57,827 --> 00:16:59,048
I was being weak.
569
00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:00,366
I'm sorry.
570
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,108
Okay.
571
00:17:03,194 --> 00:17:04,594
And if it makes you
feel any better,
572
00:17:04,810 --> 00:17:06,989
that app thing
completely blew up in my face.
573
00:17:07,074 --> 00:17:08,947
I mean, my night sucked.
574
00:17:09,032 --> 00:17:10,614
Okay, I can see
from your expression
575
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,224
that your night was worse,
576
00:17:12,310 --> 00:17:14,599
and I should've left it
at "sorry."
577
00:17:15,124 --> 00:17:16,310
So did you hear?
578
00:17:16,396 --> 00:17:17,520
Someone guessed the sound.
579
00:17:17,606 --> 00:17:18,661
It was a bag of chips.
580
00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,153
Wow.
So the lesson here
581
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:21,639
is to listen to Hitchcock
and Scully more?
582
00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:23,037
- No, that can't be possible.
- Yeah, I don't think
583
00:17:23,122 --> 00:17:24,603
- we earned that today.
- Agreed.
584
00:17:24,689 --> 00:17:26,567
Sorry for dragging you
into that dumb game.
585
00:17:26,653 --> 00:17:28,505
You were right.
It was a waste of time.
586
00:17:28,591 --> 00:17:29,739
No, it wasn't.
587
00:17:29,825 --> 00:17:31,926
Even though it was pointless,
I did enjoy myself.
588
00:17:32,012 --> 00:17:34,138
I can't wait
to go home and tell Kevin
589
00:17:34,224 --> 00:17:36,825
you can have fun
without being productive.
590
00:17:36,958 --> 00:17:39,474
Hey, guys, they're about
to play the new mystery sound.
591
00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:41,130
I can tell Kevin tomorrow.
592
00:17:41,216 --> 00:17:42,438
I'll bet Sharon's
already asleep.
593
00:17:42,523 --> 00:17:43,981
And I've got no one
in my life.
594
00:17:44,219 --> 00:17:46,270
Scully, play that damn noise.
595
00:17:46,727 --> 00:17:48,986
Quentin, can I talk to you
for a minute?
596
00:17:49,072 --> 00:17:50,630
Are you here to give me
a long speech
597
00:17:50,716 --> 00:17:52,161
about how you still deserve
my money?
598
00:17:52,247 --> 00:17:53,270
No.
599
00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:54,372
I am.
600
00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:55,747
Very cool entrance.
601
00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:57,097
Thank you.
Listen.
602
00:17:57,183 --> 00:17:59,114
Gina Linetti is not
a perfect person.
603
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,880
Mm, I'm hoping this gets
more supportive
604
00:18:00,966 --> 00:18:02,966
as it goes along. But what
she lacks in perfection,
605
00:18:03,052 --> 00:18:03,911
she makes up for
606
00:18:03,997 --> 00:18:06,145
with an utter and total belief
that she is perfect.
607
00:18:06,231 --> 00:18:07,373
Ooh, you said "but,"
and then you said
608
00:18:07,458 --> 00:18:09,169
something worse.
She is fiercely loyal.
609
00:18:09,762 --> 00:18:11,786
She will do
the right thing for you
610
00:18:12,115 --> 00:18:13,864
even when you can't see it
for yourself,
611
00:18:14,716 --> 00:18:17,138
and she's saved my ass
countless times.
612
00:18:17,224 --> 00:18:18,544
And it's been 12.
I counted.
613
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:20,177
She came up with an idea
on the spot
614
00:18:20,286 --> 00:18:21,326
that you were interested in.
615
00:18:21,411 --> 00:18:23,778
Imagine what she could do
with time and resources.
616
00:18:24,028 --> 00:18:25,528
Do the world a favor.
617
00:18:25,614 --> 00:18:28,130
Invest in Gina Linetti.
618
00:18:32,118 --> 00:18:33,177
Hard pass.
619
00:18:33,263 --> 00:18:35,049
- What? - What?
- But my great speech.
620
00:18:35,135 --> 00:18:36,458
Yeah, the speech was great,
621
00:18:36,544 --> 00:18:39,255
but I've also been lying
the whole night.
622
00:18:39,341 --> 00:18:40,536
I'm not a tech mogul.
623
00:18:40,622 --> 00:18:41,911
I came here
to mess with people.
624
00:18:41,997 --> 00:18:43,783
- How dare you?
- Speaking of which,
625
00:18:43,869 --> 00:18:46,021
did either one of you drive?
'Cause I could use a ride.
626
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:47,989
- No, Quentin.
- Oh, Quentin.
627
00:18:49,085 --> 00:18:50,262
Okay.
628
00:18:50,401 --> 00:18:51,872
Now open your eyes,
629
00:18:51,958 --> 00:18:53,981
and the person you are meant
to be with
630
00:18:54,087 --> 00:18:56,091
should appear before you.
631
00:18:58,669 --> 00:19:00,153
Sorry.
I was just watching.
632
00:19:00,263 --> 00:19:02,145
Get out of here, Hitchcock!
633
00:19:02,388 --> 00:19:03,453
Ugh.
634
00:19:03,625 --> 00:19:04,614
This isn't working.
635
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:05,918
I'm no closer
to making a decision.
636
00:19:06,003 --> 00:19:07,019
I'm jumping down.
637
00:19:07,105 --> 00:19:08,919
Well, you can't
just jump down.
638
00:19:09,489 --> 00:19:11,362
- My goodness!
- It's over.
639
00:19:11,448 --> 00:19:12,679
I'm gonna put 'em both
in a group text
640
00:19:12,764 --> 00:19:13,661
- and say "peace out."
- Uh, no!
641
00:19:13,747 --> 00:19:14,968
There's still more options.
642
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:16,362
We haven't even
done roleplay yet.
643
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,447
What?
644
00:19:17,636 --> 00:19:18,726
Ugh.
645
00:19:18,882 --> 00:19:20,279
I took too long
getting back to Quinoa
646
00:19:20,364 --> 00:19:21,541
and they got mad
and ended it.
647
00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:23,109
And that's how it's done.
648
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,670
- What are you talking about?
- The process worked.
649
00:19:24,755 --> 00:19:26,349
Boyles don't make decisions.
650
00:19:26,435 --> 00:19:27,630
We delay our decisions
651
00:19:27,716 --> 00:19:29,403
until the universe
makes them for us.
652
00:19:29,489 --> 00:19:31,677
That way, we never make
a wrong choice.
653
00:19:31,763 --> 00:19:34,036
That is very sad,
but also, I guess it worked.
654
00:19:34,138 --> 00:19:35,354
- Mm-hmm.
- I do feel pretty good.
655
00:19:35,439 --> 00:19:36,921
Couscous is dope.
She's funny.
656
00:19:37,006 --> 00:19:38,372
Couscous is a she!
I knew it!
657
00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:40,140
- Did you?
- No, and I still don't know.
658
00:19:40,226 --> 00:19:41,898
There's equal chance
you called them "she"
659
00:19:41,984 --> 00:19:43,676
- to throw me off.
- You get me, Boyle.
660
00:19:45,653 --> 00:19:49,216
So I think I figured out
an awesome and dramatic way
661
00:19:49,302 --> 00:19:51,327
to reveal that I
was the Tattler.
662
00:19:51,412 --> 00:19:53,300
It'll be a dance.
There'll be costumes.
663
00:19:53,386 --> 00:19:55,592
Gina, it's fine.
I don't care anymore.
664
00:19:55,677 --> 00:19:57,448
- It's all in the past.
- Oh, thank God.
665
00:19:57,534 --> 00:19:58,823
That is such a relief,
666
00:19:58,909 --> 00:20:01,292
'cause I didn't want people
thinking I was a tattler.
667
00:20:01,378 --> 00:20:02,979
Where's Amy?
668
00:20:03,065 --> 00:20:04,313
She is in the library,
writing
669
00:20:04,399 --> 00:20:05,905
a book report
on "Jane Eyre,"
670
00:20:05,991 --> 00:20:08,276
and she told me
"not to wait up."
671
00:20:08,362 --> 00:20:09,675
- Oy.
- Yeah.
672
00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:12,651
Thanks for trying to help
with Quentin.
673
00:20:12,737 --> 00:20:14,268
It's funny.
Even though it wasn't real,
674
00:20:14,354 --> 00:20:16,776
it was so fun, imagining
running my own company.
675
00:20:16,862 --> 00:20:17,973
So why don't your pursue it?
676
00:20:18,058 --> 00:20:20,448
I can't raise my kid
and create an app
677
00:20:20,534 --> 00:20:22,300
and work at the Nine-Nine.
It's too much.
678
00:20:22,386 --> 00:20:24,315
Well, then prepare for me
to murder your parents
679
00:20:24,401 --> 00:20:25,682
right in front of your face.
680
00:20:25,768 --> 00:20:26,807
- Rude.
- No.
681
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:28,136
It's Batman's origin story,
682
00:20:28,222 --> 00:20:30,093
like the radioactive
spider thing you did with me.
683
00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:31,701
I don't read comic books.
684
00:20:32,904 --> 00:20:34,473
You helped me
become who I am,
685
00:20:34,629 --> 00:20:36,378
so now I'm gonna
return the favor.
686
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:39,065
Gina...
687
00:20:39,813 --> 00:20:41,933
I think your talents might
be wasted at the Nine-Nine.
688
00:20:42,229 --> 00:20:44,518
I love you, but it might
be time for you to move on.
689
00:20:44,604 --> 00:20:46,173
Um, are you firing me?
690
00:20:46,259 --> 00:20:48,026
What? No. I don't think
I could even do that.
691
00:20:48,112 --> 00:20:49,503
Good, because I quit.
692
00:20:49,589 --> 00:20:50,870
You know, tonight I realized
693
00:20:50,956 --> 00:20:52,175
that my talents
694
00:20:52,300 --> 00:20:53,964
are being wasted
at the Nine-Nine.
695
00:20:54,083 --> 00:20:55,913
Okay, that's kind of exactly
what I just said.
696
00:20:55,998 --> 00:20:58,323
Jake, let me finish.
This is serious.
697
00:20:59,082 --> 00:21:00,815
It's time for me to move on.
698
00:21:00,979 --> 00:21:02,896
For real, though, it is.
699
00:21:03,122 --> 00:21:04,206
Really?
700
00:21:08,205 --> 00:21:09,612
Okay.
701
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,550
Proud of you.
702
00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:12,847
Thank you.
703
00:21:12,989 --> 00:21:14,393
I'm proud of me, too.
704
00:21:15,478 --> 00:21:16,479
Guys!
705
00:21:16,901 --> 00:21:18,345
Vice principal caught me
in the library.
706
00:21:18,430 --> 00:21:19,462
Let's roll!
707
00:21:20,218 --> 00:21:22,135
Not a doctor.
Shh.
708
00:21:22,416 --> 00:21:23,679
Fremulon.
51358
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.