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1
00:00:03,265 --> 00:00:04,994
Attention, squad.
2
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:06,580
Put your hands together
3
00:00:06,616 --> 00:00:09,424
for the long-anticipated reunion of...
4
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:12,219
The DDC!
5
00:00:12,263 --> 00:00:13,220
- DD...
- C!
6
00:00:13,264 --> 00:00:14,221
- DD...
- C!
7
00:00:14,265 --> 00:00:15,222
Put a J with a G...
8
00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:16,267
You get DD...
9
00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:18,225
C!
10
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:19,400
Uh, the gas face.
11
00:00:19,444 --> 00:00:20,575
What the hell is the DDC?
12
00:00:20,619 --> 00:00:21,924
I don't know, but I love it!
13
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:23,274
The DDC is the Dope...
14
00:00:23,317 --> 00:00:24,405
- Denim...
- Crew.
15
00:00:24,449 --> 00:00:25,754
Our 20-year high school reunion
16
00:00:25,798 --> 00:00:27,713
is tonight, and the party
is '90s-themed,
17
00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:29,410
so we're dressing the way
we did back then,
18
00:00:29,454 --> 00:00:31,456
AKA hella fresh.
19
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,545
Can't wait to see everyone
we graduated with
20
00:00:33,588 --> 00:00:35,416
and lie to them about
what I've been up to
21
00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:36,939
for my own amusement.
22
00:00:36,983 --> 00:00:40,116
It's gonna be Fib City,
population: Gina Clooney.
23
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:41,335
But Jake, how can you be excited
24
00:00:41,379 --> 00:00:42,945
to return to your high school,
25
00:00:42,989 --> 00:00:44,599
the scene of... Tattlegate?
26
00:00:44,643 --> 00:00:46,912
What's Tattlegate? Why haven't
I heard anything about it?
27
00:00:46,948 --> 00:00:49,648
It was junior year
and Jake was riding high...
28
00:00:49,691 --> 00:00:52,191
Charles, no one wants
to hear this story...
29
00:00:52,477 --> 00:00:53,434
from you.
30
00:00:53,478 --> 00:00:56,437
It was junior year,
and Jake was riding high.
31
00:00:56,481 --> 00:00:58,526
Sophomore year was rough,
but now I was back
32
00:00:58,570 --> 00:01:01,137
with a hot new look:
an earring and long hair.
33
00:01:01,181 --> 00:01:02,791
Which was my look,
and he just copied it.
34
00:01:02,835 --> 00:01:04,793
And it worked! I was finally cool,
35
00:01:04,837 --> 00:01:06,404
and becoming friends
with the most popular kid
36
00:01:06,447 --> 00:01:08,536
in school: Brandon Bliss.
37
00:01:08,580 --> 00:01:10,408
- Dope name; sounds hot.
- He was hot, Rosa.
38
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For the record, he could barely read.
39
00:01:12,323 --> 00:01:13,717
He didn't have to read, Gina.
40
00:01:13,753 --> 00:01:15,570
He lost his virginity
when he was 12 years old.
41
00:01:15,606 --> 00:01:16,881
Which is horrifying.
42
00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:17,914
But it wasn't back then!
43
00:01:17,950 --> 00:01:20,655
Back then, it was... everything.
44
00:01:20,804 --> 00:01:22,463
He asked me to ditch class
one day with him
45
00:01:22,507 --> 00:01:23,812
and his buddies, steal a school van,
46
00:01:23,856 --> 00:01:25,423
and go get drunk at his parents' cabin,
47
00:01:25,466 --> 00:01:26,989
but the day before
we were supposed to go,
48
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:29,601
someone ratted Brandon out,
and he got suspended!
49
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He thought I was the one who told,
50
00:01:31,211 --> 00:01:32,517
and from that day forward,
51
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,693
everyone called me "The Tattler."
52
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Tattler. It's a sexy nickname.
53
00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:37,857
It was not a sexy nickname!
54
00:01:37,893 --> 00:01:39,175
It was a scarlet letter,
55
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and it ruined my senior year,
56
00:01:41,352 --> 00:01:44,006
but luckily, I'm over all that now.
57
00:01:44,050 --> 00:01:45,971
Not me. I'm gonna go
to this reunion tonight
58
00:01:46,007 --> 00:01:47,338
and kick Brandon Bliss in the butthole.
59
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:49,449
Horrifying, but that won't
be necessary, Charles,
60
00:01:49,485 --> 00:01:51,536
for my awesome life will do
the butthole-kicking this eve.
61
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,668
I've got a sweet job, and a super-smart,
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incredible wife.
Tonight's gonna be awesome.
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00:01:55,453 --> 00:01:56,863
- Right, Gina?
- Damn straight!
64
00:01:56,899 --> 00:01:58,064
- DD...
- C!
65
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- DD...
- C!
66
00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:00,153
- DD...
- C!
67
00:02:15,355 --> 00:02:19,355
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
68
00:02:21,435 --> 00:02:23,089
Wow, this place hasn't changed
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00:02:23,132 --> 00:02:24,786
one bit in 20 years.
70
00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:26,947
It's a real indictment
of the public school system.
71
00:02:26,983 --> 00:02:28,630
Jake! Tina!
72
00:02:28,666 --> 00:02:30,662
No way! Mikey J!
73
00:02:30,705 --> 00:02:32,185
Amy, this is Mike Joseph,
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00:02:32,228 --> 00:02:35,797
AKA the lead funk bassist
from my legendary ska band,
75
00:02:35,841 --> 00:02:39,018
Skalvester Skallone. We had one song.
76
00:02:39,061 --> 00:02:40,236
? Oh ?
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00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,453
? Stop or my mom will ska ?
78
00:02:43,326 --> 00:02:45,154
? Stop or my mom will ska ?
79
00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:46,852
- Whoa!
- Hey, man.
80
00:02:46,895 --> 00:02:49,550
We were so bad. I can't believe
we thought we were gonna make it.
81
00:02:49,594 --> 00:02:51,186
So what have you been up to, man?
82
00:02:51,222 --> 00:02:53,442
Well, I'm still trying to
get the music thing started.
83
00:02:53,598 --> 00:02:55,375
Oh, cool, cool, cool. Never give up.
84
00:02:55,411 --> 00:02:57,558
Anyway, how are you, Gina?
What have you been up to?
85
00:02:57,602 --> 00:02:59,430
Nothing crazy. Yeah, just writing
86
00:02:59,473 --> 00:03:01,344
- those "Thor" movies.
- Seriously?
87
00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:03,085
Oh, my God. Tell me everything.
88
00:03:03,129 --> 00:03:05,436
Legally, I can't get into it too much,
89
00:03:05,479 --> 00:03:06,698
but just know that the next one
90
00:03:06,741 --> 00:03:08,221
will have a lot more full frontal.
91
00:03:08,264 --> 00:03:10,947
Well, if you need some ska
for your soundtrack...
92
00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:12,001
Oh!
93
00:03:12,399 --> 00:03:13,444
This is them. This is Marvel.
94
00:03:13,487 --> 00:03:17,665
They probably want to talk about "Thor
4: More Thor." I gotta take this.
95
00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:18,753
- Okay?
- All right.
96
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:20,591
So how you doing, Jake?
97
00:03:20,627 --> 00:03:23,236
I know the end of high school
was a little... rough.
98
00:03:23,279 --> 00:03:24,846
Oh, uh...
99
00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:27,283
Jake's killing it now. He's a detective.
100
00:03:27,327 --> 00:03:30,069
Irie, mon! Irie, irie!
101
00:03:30,112 --> 00:03:31,244
Very nice.
102
00:03:31,287 --> 00:03:33,376
God, you must have some crazy stories.
103
00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,683
Oh, I don't know. I mean,
is successfully negotiating
104
00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:38,773
a high-tension hostage situation
in a bank crazy?
105
00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:39,818
Yes!
106
00:03:39,861 --> 00:03:41,210
Oh, well, then, I guess I do have
107
00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,951
some crazy stories, mon!
108
00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:47,086
Gosh, it's so cool how we
all still dress the same.
109
00:03:49,001 --> 00:03:50,785
Is it so much to ask?
You know what I'm saying?
110
00:03:50,829 --> 00:03:52,483
Why is everyone gathered
around the radio?
111
00:03:52,526 --> 00:03:54,746
Ooh, are they testing the
emergency broadcasting system?
112
00:03:54,789 --> 00:03:56,269
What? No.
113
00:03:56,312 --> 00:03:57,662
We're listening to a contest.
114
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,490
This is 93.7,
115
00:03:59,533 --> 00:04:00,882
The Jamhouse, with...
116
00:04:00,926 --> 00:04:02,797
JC and the Horndog!
117
00:04:03,842 --> 00:04:05,191
FM radio...
118
00:04:05,234 --> 00:04:07,323
Yeah, the hosts are beyond disgusting,
119
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:10,022
but they do a fun game where
they play a mystery sound
120
00:04:10,065 --> 00:04:11,893
and callers guess what it is
for a cash prize.
121
00:04:11,937 --> 00:04:13,765
Shh, they're about to play
the new sound!
122
00:04:16,346 --> 00:04:17,451
It's a crinkle. I solved it.
123
00:04:17,487 --> 00:04:20,208
Yes, but you have to know what object
is making the crinkle.
124
00:04:20,244 --> 00:04:21,686
But that's impossible.
It could be anything.
125
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,168
Yes, sir. That's the game.
126
00:04:23,204 --> 00:04:24,210
It's a bag of potato chips.
127
00:04:24,253 --> 00:04:25,298
Don't be an idiot!
128
00:04:25,341 --> 00:04:26,647
It's a bag of corn chips.
129
00:04:26,691 --> 00:04:27,996
Well, this is a total waste of time.
130
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,824
Sure, but you can still have fun,
131
00:04:29,868 --> 00:04:31,609
- even if you're wasting time.
- That's absurd.
132
00:04:31,652 --> 00:04:33,567
Productivity is what makes things fun.
133
00:04:33,611 --> 00:04:34,853
That's why humans go to work.
134
00:04:36,222 --> 00:04:37,440
It is?
135
00:04:37,484 --> 00:04:38,920
Hey. So you know
136
00:04:38,964 --> 00:04:40,400
how Alicia and I broke up
because she moved to London,
137
00:04:40,443 --> 00:04:41,836
then we tried to make it work,
138
00:04:41,872 --> 00:04:43,074
but the distance was too much
and we broke up again?
139
00:04:43,110 --> 00:04:45,364
No. The last thing you told me
about yourself was that you were bi.
140
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,749
Well, a lot has happened since then.
141
00:04:46,785 --> 00:04:48,119
Anyway, I'm dating two other people.
142
00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:50,758
So much juice at one time. I'm drowning.
143
00:04:50,802 --> 00:04:52,847
Oh, gross. Charles, this is why
I don't tell you anything.
144
00:04:52,891 --> 00:04:54,088
- I take it back.
- Okay.
145
00:04:54,124 --> 00:04:55,676
Well, it's early stages,
but they both tagged me
146
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,287
in a bunch of photos online,
and they found out about each other.
147
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,502
- Yikes.
- Yeah, I know.
148
00:04:59,538 --> 00:05:01,377
I shouldn't 'gram so much,
but my brunch friends say
149
00:05:01,421 --> 00:05:02,770
it's the only way to promote
my handmade jewelry line.
150
00:05:02,814 --> 00:05:03,739
Brunch? What?
151
00:05:03,775 --> 00:05:05,894
- Homemade... who...
- Charles, focus.
152
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:08,237
Anyway, they're both annoyed,
and now I have to choose one of them,
153
00:05:08,471 --> 00:05:09,864
and I cannot make up my mind.
154
00:05:09,908 --> 00:05:12,142
It's insane. I never have trouble
making decisions.
155
00:05:12,911 --> 00:05:14,342
Ugh. Choose the daughter.
156
00:05:14,652 --> 00:05:16,175
I always know exactly what to do,
157
00:05:16,218 --> 00:05:18,300
but for the first time
in my life, I am stumped.
158
00:05:18,336 --> 00:05:20,294
Rosa, you've come to the right man.
159
00:05:20,330 --> 00:05:22,007
Boyles are genetically
indecisive beings.
160
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,835
So I chose the worst
possible person to help me?
161
00:05:23,878 --> 00:05:25,314
No. We've developed
162
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:27,055
a foolproof system to
help us make choices.
163
00:05:27,099 --> 00:05:28,972
It used to take me so long
to decide what to wear
164
00:05:29,008 --> 00:05:30,624
that I'd never change my clothes.
165
00:05:30,668 --> 00:05:31,985
Now look what I have on.
166
00:05:32,464 --> 00:05:34,316
Is this different than what
you were wearing yesterday?
167
00:05:34,454 --> 00:05:35,526
Barely.
168
00:05:35,673 --> 00:05:37,718
Wow, your life sounds amazing.
169
00:05:37,762 --> 00:05:39,328
I'm really happy it worked out for you,
170
00:05:39,372 --> 00:05:41,592
you know, especially with
the whole Tattler thing.
171
00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:44,029
What?
The Tattler? Wow.
172
00:05:44,072 --> 00:05:45,639
I haven't heard that in a long time.
173
00:05:45,683 --> 00:05:46,853
Who even was the Tattler?
174
00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:48,281
You. That's why I'm bringing it up.
175
00:05:48,317 --> 00:05:50,817
Oh, right, I remember now that I
was misidentified as the Tattler.
176
00:05:50,853 --> 00:05:52,610
That's so funny.
But I wasn't the Tattler,
177
00:05:52,646 --> 00:05:53,675
so I'm pretty sure you got this wrong.
178
00:05:53,711 --> 00:05:55,657
No, no, no, I think I go... Hey, Eric.
179
00:05:55,801 --> 00:05:57,733
Didn't people call Jake the Tattler?
180
00:05:58,086 --> 00:05:59,087
Oh, yeah!
181
00:06:00,436 --> 00:06:02,264
Oh, good, more people
are getting involved.
182
00:06:02,308 --> 00:06:04,789
After my initial design,
they said it couldn't be done.
183
00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,617
They said it was too tall, too flashy...
184
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,314
building codes, bureaucracy.
185
00:06:08,357 --> 00:06:11,447
Cut to the Freedom Tower
as you see it today.
186
00:06:11,491 --> 00:06:12,623
Wow.
187
00:06:12,666 --> 00:06:14,483
Thank you. Yeah, I agree.
188
00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:15,974
Look, nobody cares about that stuff.
189
00:06:16,017 --> 00:06:17,453
We're all adults now.
190
00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:19,499
You're a cop.
I work at a coffin factory.
191
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,762
I'm not sitting around,
thinking about how you tattled.
192
00:06:21,806 --> 00:06:23,451
Yes, we all have jobs
and work on coffins.
193
00:06:23,487 --> 00:06:25,679
I didn't tattle, but whatevs. We
don't have to keep talking about it.
194
00:06:25,723 --> 00:06:27,999
Great.
195
00:06:28,742 --> 00:06:29,933
But you were the Tattler, right?
196
00:06:29,969 --> 00:06:31,076
Brandon Bliss was my friend!
197
00:06:31,119 --> 00:06:32,686
Why would I tattle on my friend?
198
00:06:32,730 --> 00:06:34,688
The nickname was inaccurate,
is all I'm saying.
199
00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:35,950
Anyways, as you can tell,
200
00:06:35,994 --> 00:06:37,604
I am totally over it.
201
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,277
Ah, man, it's the Tattler.
202
00:06:39,313 --> 00:06:40,476
I didn't tattle!
203
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:42,667
So...
204
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,165
I think I might not be over it.
205
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,474
Ugh, this is so unfair.
206
00:06:48,518 --> 00:06:49,780
Everyone remembers me as the Tattler,
207
00:06:49,823 --> 00:06:51,303
but somehow, no one remembers
208
00:06:51,347 --> 00:06:52,783
that Darren "Doo Doo" Donaldson
209
00:06:52,826 --> 00:06:54,263
crapped himself during PE.
210
00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:55,394
Look at him out there,
211
00:06:55,438 --> 00:06:56,743
dancing on the dance floor
212
00:06:56,787 --> 00:06:58,484
like he's lived a doo doo-free life.
213
00:06:58,528 --> 00:07:00,008
Jake, this isn't so bad.
214
00:07:00,051 --> 00:07:02,251
History is full of great tattlers.
215
00:07:02,287 --> 00:07:04,316
Martin Luther King tattled on racists.
216
00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,797
That's a pretty undercutting way
of describing his accomplishments.
217
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,494
I was trying to help. It felt bad.
218
00:07:08,538 --> 00:07:09,887
It's not even the nickname
that bothers me.
219
00:07:09,931 --> 00:07:11,193
It's that I'm being wrongfully accused.
220
00:07:11,236 --> 00:07:12,977
I didn't tattle.
I mean, if it was the truth,
221
00:07:13,021 --> 00:07:14,892
go ahead and call me
the Tattler all day long.
222
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:17,190
- Hey, Tattler.
- Not cool, Jason!
223
00:07:17,677 --> 00:07:19,114
Let's just go home.
224
00:07:19,157 --> 00:07:20,680
No! We're not going anywhere.
225
00:07:20,724 --> 00:07:22,856
You were wrongfully accused. We're cops.
226
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,684
Let's just find the real Tattler
227
00:07:24,728 --> 00:07:25,990
and prove your innocence.
228
00:07:26,034 --> 00:07:26,991
Yes! I love it!
229
00:07:27,035 --> 00:07:29,515
Why learn to grow when
you can fix the past?
230
00:07:29,559 --> 00:07:31,300
This is exactly why
I don't need therapy.
231
00:07:31,343 --> 00:07:33,413
Not sure that's the lesson
I want you to take away from this.
232
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:35,022
Too late! We're gonna prove
I wasn't the Tattler.
233
00:07:35,058 --> 00:07:36,581
Therapy is a scam. Let's do this.
234
00:07:38,176 --> 00:07:39,177
No.
235
00:07:39,221 --> 00:07:41,005
The sound was more of a "khh."
236
00:07:41,049 --> 00:07:42,528
Ooh, how goes the crinkle hunt?
237
00:07:42,572 --> 00:07:44,400
I see you're not just wasting time.
238
00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:46,402
You're also wasting tin.
239
00:07:46,445 --> 00:07:47,651
It was only one piece.
240
00:07:49,126 --> 00:07:51,372
Okay, it was a ton of tin.
241
00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:52,886
Pretty sure it's a guy
eating a sandwich.
242
00:07:53,265 --> 00:07:54,370
I'll prove it to you.
243
00:07:54,406 --> 00:07:56,064
I'm not buying you any
more sandwiches, Scully.
244
00:07:56,107 --> 00:07:58,588
- I'm doing this for us!
- Guys, we can't fight.
245
00:07:58,631 --> 00:08:00,155
That's what the Horndog wants.
246
00:08:00,198 --> 00:08:02,722
We're getting close. We just need
to keep testing more things.
247
00:08:02,766 --> 00:08:04,681
Oh, that's a good idea.
248
00:08:04,724 --> 00:08:06,621
Have you tried a piece of paper?
249
00:08:08,163 --> 00:08:09,120
Is that your crinkle?
250
00:08:09,164 --> 00:08:10,861
Ooh, maybe... oh.
251
00:08:11,192 --> 00:08:13,690
Maybe it's these bags of coffee beans.
252
00:08:13,733 --> 00:08:15,692
All right, sir.
I think you've made your point.
253
00:08:15,735 --> 00:08:18,365
My point? Oh, I'm just trying
to have fun by wasting time.
254
00:08:18,956 --> 00:08:21,698
Oh, maybe it's this
crinkly-crunkly yogurt.
255
00:08:24,490 --> 00:08:25,752
Terry heard a crinkle.
256
00:08:25,788 --> 00:08:27,225
Holt heard a crinkle, too.
257
00:08:27,261 --> 00:08:29,045
So suddenly, it's not a waste of time?
258
00:08:29,081 --> 00:08:30,738
Not a waste of time if we win!
259
00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:32,750
What are you waiting for, Jeffords?
260
00:08:33,188 --> 00:08:34,692
Call the Horndog!
261
00:08:34,928 --> 00:08:36,495
So then I said to Steve,
262
00:08:36,539 --> 00:08:38,584
"What if we drop the '-lications,'
263
00:08:38,628 --> 00:08:40,195
just call them 'apps'?"
264
00:08:40,238 --> 00:08:41,404
That's incredible.
265
00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:44,025
- Do you miss him?
- Oh, every day, Laura.
266
00:08:44,068 --> 00:08:46,223
- Every day.
- You should talk to Quentin Chase.
267
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,203
He's a big-time
Silicon Valley investor now,
268
00:08:48,246 --> 00:08:49,465
and he was just telling me all about it.
269
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:50,596
Quentin, come here.
270
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,033
You have got to talk to Gina.
271
00:08:52,076 --> 00:08:53,817
She basically invented apps.
272
00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:55,558
They were going
to be called "lications."
273
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:56,776
You really bungled that.
274
00:08:56,820 --> 00:08:57,995
What you been working on?
275
00:08:58,039 --> 00:08:59,736
Currently, I have been working
276
00:08:59,779 --> 00:09:02,270
on an app called Toddler.
277
00:09:02,306 --> 00:09:04,393
It's like Tinder, but for toddlers.
278
00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:05,742
Tinder for toddlers.
279
00:09:05,785 --> 00:09:07,396
I like it. How are you gonna spell that?
280
00:09:07,439 --> 00:09:08,571
How many D's?
281
00:09:08,614 --> 00:09:10,573
Five.
282
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,966
All right, we should start
by talking to Brandon Bliss
283
00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,925
and find out who told him
you were the Tattler.
284
00:09:14,968 --> 00:09:16,405
Unfortunately, Bliss is not here.
285
00:09:16,448 --> 00:09:19,016
Probably in the VIP section
at a Fatboy Slim concert.
286
00:09:19,060 --> 00:09:20,931
Would that be cool for a 37-year-old?
287
00:09:20,974 --> 00:09:22,585
The funk soul brother is timeless, Ames.
288
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:24,761
All right, I don't know
who told Brandon,
289
00:09:24,804 --> 00:09:26,284
but I heard it was someone
on the football team.
290
00:09:26,328 --> 00:09:28,199
Okay, well, we need
more information than that,
291
00:09:28,243 --> 00:09:30,158
so take me back to the day.
Spare no details.
292
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:31,463
Okay, I saw Brandon
293
00:09:31,507 --> 00:09:33,117
after second period,
and everything seemed tight.
294
00:09:33,161 --> 00:09:34,945
- _
- ? Hey now, you're an all-star ?
295
00:09:34,988 --> 00:09:37,121
? Get your game on go play ?
296
00:09:37,165 --> 00:09:38,905
But then, when I saw him
after third period...
297
00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:40,907
- _
- something had clearly changed.
298
00:09:40,951 --> 00:09:42,474
? Get paid ?
299
00:09:42,518 --> 00:09:44,476
? All that glitters is gold ?
300
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,087
After that, there was
301
00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:47,740
little color left in the world
for young Jake.
302
00:09:47,784 --> 00:09:51,396
My earring, less gold,
my JNCO jeans less purple.
303
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:53,268
Are you sure you were becoming cool?
304
00:09:53,311 --> 00:09:54,312
Yeah. Why?
305
00:09:54,356 --> 00:09:55,792
I know how to solve this.
306
00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:57,054
We just have to find out
which football player
307
00:09:57,098 --> 00:09:58,534
had third period with Brandon Bliss.
308
00:09:58,577 --> 00:09:59,839
We need his class schedule.
309
00:09:59,883 --> 00:10:01,145
Yeah, but where are we gonna find that?
310
00:10:01,189 --> 00:10:02,973
In the coolest room in the school.
311
00:10:05,541 --> 00:10:06,977
Good lord!
312
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:08,413
You coulda just picked the lock.
313
00:10:08,457 --> 00:10:09,632
I know. I'm sorry.
314
00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:11,503
I'm just so amped up about Admin.
315
00:10:11,886 --> 00:10:14,637
Okay, this is the Boyle
decision-making manual.
316
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,117
One of these sections will help you
317
00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:17,596
with choosing your partner.
318
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,425
Here we go. What do you prefer,
eyes or butt, brains or body?
319
00:10:20,469 --> 00:10:21,478
- Brains.
- Uh...
320
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:22,993
Sorry, no, that's for deciding lunch.
321
00:10:23,036 --> 00:10:25,300
- Horrifying.
- Oh, I found the romance section.
322
00:10:25,343 --> 00:10:27,084
Now, first, I will need the names
323
00:10:27,128 --> 00:10:28,999
of the two people
you're choosing between.
324
00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,783
I will not be telling you
any information about them.
325
00:10:30,827 --> 00:10:32,367
No problem. We can work with that.
326
00:10:32,403 --> 00:10:34,004
I will just call them by their initials.
327
00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:35,266
- No.
- I will call them
328
00:10:35,310 --> 00:10:36,240
- "Couscous" and "Quinoa."
- Whatever.
329
00:10:36,276 --> 00:10:37,476
Okay, now, for this to work right,
330
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,429
you need to answer these
questions without thinking.
331
00:10:39,784 --> 00:10:40,999
- Who makes you laugh more?
- Quinoa.
332
00:10:41,035 --> 00:10:42,134
- Who has softer lips?
- Couscous.
333
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:43,365
A new Cirque du Soleil's in town.
334
00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:44,611
You have the two best seats
in the house.
335
00:10:44,647 --> 00:10:46,508
- Who are you bringing?
- Is this a reward or a punishment?
336
00:10:46,544 --> 00:10:47,418
- You decide.
- Quinoa.
337
00:10:47,454 --> 00:10:49,247
Great. Next question:
You die and become a ghost.
338
00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:51,624
The rules of the afterlife
are that of the movie "Casper."
339
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:52,670
Whose house would you rather haunt?
340
00:10:52,706 --> 00:10:54,128
How many more
of these questions are there?
341
00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:55,426
309.
342
00:10:55,849 --> 00:10:57,877
- Okay, I've got something.
- Oh.
343
00:10:57,913 --> 00:10:59,386
That's not Brandon's profile. It's mine.
344
00:10:59,422 --> 00:11:01,348
I just want a quick peek
at your attendance record.
345
00:11:01,553 --> 00:11:02,641
Zero absences.
346
00:11:02,685 --> 00:11:04,861
Oh, mama...
347
00:11:04,904 --> 00:11:06,036
Printing this for later.
348
00:11:06,079 --> 00:11:07,646
Keep it in your pants, Santiago.
349
00:11:07,690 --> 00:11:09,474
Oh, that's exactly where it's going.
350
00:11:11,084 --> 00:11:13,043
Okay, here's Brandon's info.
351
00:11:13,086 --> 00:11:14,523
Third period, first semester...
352
00:11:14,566 --> 00:11:16,220
Any of these people
on the football team?
353
00:11:16,264 --> 00:11:18,788
Scott Alford, Taylor Black...
wow, Tom Brady?
354
00:11:18,831 --> 00:11:20,616
Different Tom Brady. He was in theater.
355
00:11:20,659 --> 00:11:23,096
Although he was the MVP of that
year's production of "Fiddler."
356
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,588
- Hm.
- Wait a minute.
357
00:11:24,624 --> 00:11:25,751
Danny Matthews. That's the guy.
358
00:11:25,795 --> 00:11:27,057
He was on the football team.
359
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:28,319
That's the bastard who set me up.
360
00:11:28,363 --> 00:11:29,753
Yeah, and look at this.
361
00:11:30,365 --> 00:11:32,541
You did so much community service.
362
00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:34,238
Me like-y.
363
00:11:36,647 --> 00:11:38,649
Guys, you know how I thought
it would be so much fun
364
00:11:38,685 --> 00:11:39,881
to lie to everyone tonight?
365
00:11:39,917 --> 00:11:40,908
Yeah. Did it finally catch up with you?
366
00:11:40,944 --> 00:11:43,680
No, the opposite. Someone wants to buy
a company I made up on the spot.
367
00:11:43,716 --> 00:11:45,732
The elevator pitch had him drooling.
368
00:11:45,776 --> 00:11:47,517
As a mother, I'm always struggling
369
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:48,997
to find quality playdates.
370
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,869
Most two-year-olds
are boring, lame duds.
371
00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:53,697
All of my daughter's friends suck.
372
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:56,265
Well, with Todddddler's
proprietary algorithm,
373
00:11:56,308 --> 00:11:58,920
you will be matched with top tots,
374
00:11:58,963 --> 00:12:00,095
and those boring duds...
375
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:01,531
they'll stay where they belong:
376
00:12:01,574 --> 00:12:04,079
the hell away from you and your family.
377
00:12:05,230 --> 00:12:07,363
I'm not really sure how to close this.
378
00:12:07,406 --> 00:12:09,365
Maybe you guys could pretend to be heirs
379
00:12:09,408 --> 00:12:12,934
to a canned-goods fortune
who want to buy my company!
380
00:12:12,977 --> 00:12:14,587
Gina, we don't have time
for your thing right now.
381
00:12:14,631 --> 00:12:16,415
Oh, smart. Big-time him.
382
00:12:16,459 --> 00:12:17,808
That's the perfect idea.
383
00:12:17,851 --> 00:12:19,157
I won't forget you when I'm rich.
384
00:12:19,201 --> 00:12:20,854
Thanks so much, Jake and Jake's wife.
385
00:12:20,898 --> 00:12:22,247
She knows your name. Oh, look!
386
00:12:22,291 --> 00:12:23,814
It's Danny Matthews!
But he'll never talk
387
00:12:23,857 --> 00:12:25,163
with all these people around.
388
00:12:25,207 --> 00:12:26,773
Not a problem.
Just be in the science lab
389
00:12:26,817 --> 00:12:28,427
in ten minutes. I'll get him alone.
390
00:12:28,471 --> 00:12:29,559
What are you gonna do?
391
00:12:29,602 --> 00:12:32,127
Let's just say I'm not above
using my feminine wiles.
392
00:12:32,170 --> 00:12:33,737
Danny Matthews,
I'm with the school.
393
00:12:33,780 --> 00:12:35,043
You need to follow me right now.
394
00:12:35,086 --> 00:12:37,146
- Is everything...
- I said now, mister.
395
00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:40,004
I'm one caller away.
396
00:12:40,048 --> 00:12:41,310
I can't believe we figured it out.
397
00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,637
And I can't believe
it took you this long.
398
00:12:43,673 --> 00:12:45,753
Yogurt is literally your one thing.
399
00:12:45,789 --> 00:12:47,536
- Okay, okay.
- Well, I'm just saying.
400
00:12:47,572 --> 00:12:49,488
If the sound were eating damp rice,
401
00:12:49,524 --> 00:12:50,972
I would've gotten it immediately.
402
00:12:51,015 --> 00:12:52,364
Guys, they're taking another guess.
403
00:12:52,408 --> 00:12:54,062
All right, Brenda from Yonkers.
404
00:12:54,105 --> 00:12:55,977
It's time for you to name that sound.
405
00:12:56,020 --> 00:12:57,413
Hi. Quick shout-out
406
00:12:57,456 --> 00:12:59,241
to the nurses at United Pediatric.
407
00:12:59,284 --> 00:13:00,851
This money'll do those kids
a lot of good.
408
00:13:00,894 --> 00:13:02,374
Cry me a river. Brenda from Yonkers.
409
00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:04,681
We've all had budget cuts.
Just take your guess.
410
00:13:04,724 --> 00:13:05,987
Is it Styrofoam?
411
00:13:06,030 --> 00:13:07,553
Wrong!
412
00:13:07,597 --> 00:13:09,816
Oh, I can't believe
she guessed Styrofoam.
413
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:10,985
What a dumb nurse.
414
00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:13,472
Next caller, you're on with the Horndog.
415
00:13:13,516 --> 00:13:14,473
It's me!
416
00:13:14,517 --> 00:13:16,736
The sound is a yogurt
417
00:13:16,780 --> 00:13:18,042
being opened.
418
00:13:18,086 --> 00:13:21,089
That is...
419
00:13:21,132 --> 00:13:22,394
Wrong!
420
00:13:22,438 --> 00:13:23,613
What? No!
421
00:13:23,656 --> 00:13:25,615
You b-b-b-blew it!
422
00:13:25,658 --> 00:13:27,526
Damn you, Horndog.
423
00:13:27,747 --> 00:13:29,445
Okay, I have tabulated your responses,
424
00:13:29,488 --> 00:13:31,273
and the results are definitive.
425
00:13:31,316 --> 00:13:33,405
- Amazing.
- It's a dead tie.
426
00:13:33,449 --> 00:13:34,885
This is dumb. I'm just gonna end it
427
00:13:34,928 --> 00:13:36,017
- with both of them.
- Rosa, stop.
428
00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,426
There is one more method.
429
00:13:37,462 --> 00:13:39,107
Ancient Boyles believed
430
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:41,848
that suspending yourself
by your feet forces your blood
431
00:13:41,892 --> 00:13:43,589
to the decision center of your brain.
432
00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:47,637
We call this method
the "Upside-Down Coward."
433
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:49,291
You want me to hang
from the ceiling like a bat?
434
00:13:49,334 --> 00:13:51,162
The bat is nature's
most decisive animal.
435
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,816
The creature
that flails around frantically?
436
00:13:52,859 --> 00:13:54,035
Those are all micro-decisions.
437
00:13:54,078 --> 00:13:55,514
Now, let's get you strapped up.
438
00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:57,690
How do you feel?
439
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:58,822
Nauseous.
440
00:13:58,865 --> 00:14:00,663
Good. It's working.
441
00:14:00,911 --> 00:14:02,086
- Q?
- Yeah.
442
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,087
Get off the phone.
443
00:14:03,131 --> 00:14:04,219
Now, I'm not sure
444
00:14:04,262 --> 00:14:05,655
how serious you were about funding,
445
00:14:05,698 --> 00:14:09,267
but I should tell you
there's 103 other bidders.
446
00:14:09,311 --> 00:14:11,356
Oof, I am not a fan
of getting into bidding wars.
447
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:14,011
Then don't make an offer,
'cause I want babies on my app,
448
00:14:14,055 --> 00:14:15,839
but not in my boardroom.
449
00:14:15,882 --> 00:14:17,058
Oh, damn, Gina.
450
00:14:17,101 --> 00:14:18,711
Did you just "oh, damn" yourself?
451
00:14:18,755 --> 00:14:19,799
Someone had to.
452
00:14:19,843 --> 00:14:20,758
Okay.
453
00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:23,412
Let's talk numbers.
454
00:14:23,455 --> 00:14:25,283
Mr. Peralta, I believe
you know Danny Matthews.
455
00:14:25,327 --> 00:14:27,068
Jake. Hey, what's going on, man?
456
00:14:27,111 --> 00:14:28,286
The answer to that question
457
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:31,246
goes back to a brisk day in 1997,
458
00:14:31,606 --> 00:14:33,683
a day you told a lie.
459
00:14:33,726 --> 00:14:36,816
But the lying stops right now!
460
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:38,383
Oh, no!
461
00:14:38,427 --> 00:14:40,081
You broke some poor kid's
science project!
462
00:14:40,124 --> 00:14:41,187
We have to fix it.
463
00:14:41,223 --> 00:14:42,528
Kind of in the middle of something.
464
00:14:42,564 --> 00:14:44,955
Oh, you know what?
Krebs cycle. I got this.
465
00:14:44,998 --> 00:14:46,783
Great. So, Danny,
466
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:47,914
true or false?
467
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,220
You were on the football team.
468
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:50,961
- True?
- And true or false:
469
00:14:51,004 --> 00:14:53,050
you had third period with Brandon Bliss.
470
00:14:53,094 --> 00:14:54,399
Mm, I honestly don't remember...
471
00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:55,792
It was true! We checked the records,
472
00:14:55,835 --> 00:14:57,272
and I have one more question.
473
00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:59,100
Ooh, Jake, can you get me
that oxygen on the floor?
474
00:14:59,143 --> 00:15:00,325
- Little red guy.
- What?
475
00:15:00,361 --> 00:15:01,894
Sorry. You know what? Yeah, I'll get it.
476
00:15:03,016 --> 00:15:04,192
Why did you tell Brandon Bliss
477
00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:05,671
that I was the Tattler?
478
00:15:05,715 --> 00:15:07,282
Because you were.
I saw you talking to principal.
479
00:15:07,325 --> 00:15:08,544
I remember it, clear as day.
480
00:15:08,587 --> 00:15:10,111
Look, you couldn't have seen me,
481
00:15:10,154 --> 00:15:11,677
because I wasn't there. I didn't tattle.
482
00:15:11,721 --> 00:15:13,418
Man, it was you, okay?
483
00:15:13,462 --> 00:15:15,464
You had your long hair
and your little earring,
484
00:15:15,507 --> 00:15:18,238
and the denim jacket you are
literally wearing right now.
485
00:15:19,076 --> 00:15:20,243
Oh, no.
486
00:15:20,817 --> 00:15:21,916
It wasn't me,
487
00:15:23,118 --> 00:15:24,785
but it was the DDC.
488
00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:26,388
Gina.
489
00:15:26,431 --> 00:15:28,999
Jake, guess who just sold her app idea.
490
00:15:29,042 --> 00:15:30,174
Don't trust her.
491
00:15:30,218 --> 00:15:31,654
Everything she's told you is a lie.
492
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:33,177
She made up the company
and everything else.
493
00:15:33,221 --> 00:15:34,396
She's a liar.
494
00:15:34,439 --> 00:15:36,006
Jake, whatever strategy this is
495
00:15:36,049 --> 00:15:37,834
is not necessary.
I already closed the deal.
496
00:15:37,877 --> 00:15:39,444
I know you were the Tattler.
497
00:15:43,304 --> 00:15:45,215
Amy, I'm ready to go.
498
00:15:45,251 --> 00:15:46,295
Yep, totally.
499
00:15:46,542 --> 00:15:47,847
I'm almost done with this project,
500
00:15:47,883 --> 00:15:49,319
but I don't need to finish it,
501
00:15:49,355 --> 00:15:50,487
because what matters
502
00:15:50,523 --> 00:15:52,481
is that you are going through something,
503
00:15:52,517 --> 00:15:55,540
and as your wife,
and love of your life...
504
00:15:55,576 --> 00:15:57,230
Are you vamping so you can finish that?
505
00:15:57,273 --> 00:15:58,622
I only have two molecules left.
506
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,842
- Come on, man.
- Jake, we need to talk.
507
00:16:00,886 --> 00:16:02,539
Yeah, you guys do need to talk.
508
00:16:02,583 --> 00:16:05,325
That sounds excellent.
Friendship, so much history...
509
00:16:05,368 --> 00:16:07,066
I'm just gonna get this out of your way.
510
00:16:07,109 --> 00:16:08,581
Oh, man.
511
00:16:09,407 --> 00:16:10,567
What the hell, Gina?
512
00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:12,375
You ruined my entire senior year.
513
00:16:12,419 --> 00:16:13,725
How could you do that to me?
514
00:16:13,768 --> 00:16:15,161
Jake, I was only trying to help.
515
00:16:15,204 --> 00:16:16,728
You were hanging out with those guys
516
00:16:16,771 --> 00:16:18,437
and getting close,
and they weren't good people.
517
00:16:18,642 --> 00:16:20,557
Do you know why Brandon
wasn't at the reunion tonight?
518
00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:21,994
I don't know.
Probably 'cause he was shooting
519
00:16:22,037 --> 00:16:23,299
a beer commercial where the whole plot
520
00:16:23,343 --> 00:16:24,553
was that everyone wanted
to sleep with him.
521
00:16:24,589 --> 00:16:26,302
No, 'cause he's on parole.
522
00:16:26,346 --> 00:16:28,391
He's not allowed to leave
the state of Delaware.
523
00:16:28,435 --> 00:16:30,219
Oh, okay, so that's obviously a bummer,
524
00:16:30,263 --> 00:16:31,743
but I wasn't gonna end up like him.
525
00:16:31,786 --> 00:16:34,180
You were starting to. You wanted
to steal a van with him,
526
00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:36,542
and I told you not to, and
you weren't listening to me.
527
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,575
I mean, what would've happened
if you got caught?
528
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:39,751
I don't know.
529
00:16:39,794 --> 00:16:41,567
You would never have become a cop.
530
00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:43,319
Yeah, I'm the reason you're a cop.
531
00:16:43,363 --> 00:16:44,930
I'm your origin story, dude.
532
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,540
You can't be mad at me.
533
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,107
I feel like I'm still pretty mad.
534
00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:49,935
Peter Parker wasn't mad at his spider.
535
00:16:49,978 --> 00:16:51,893
Yeah, but they weren't
best friends before the bite,
536
00:16:51,937 --> 00:16:53,808
and it still doesn't explain
how you let everyone think
537
00:16:53,852 --> 00:16:55,679
I was the Tattler for 20 years.
538
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:57,681
Well, I didn't want
to lose our friendship.
539
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:58,987
I was being weak.
540
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,454
I'm sorry.
541
00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:03,078
Okay.
542
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,558
And if it makes you feel any better,
543
00:17:04,601 --> 00:17:06,821
that app thing completely
blew up in my face.
544
00:17:06,865 --> 00:17:08,266
I mean, my night sucked.
545
00:17:08,823 --> 00:17:10,564
Okay, I can see from your expression
546
00:17:10,607 --> 00:17:12,218
that your night was worse,
547
00:17:12,261 --> 00:17:14,558
and I should've left it at "sorry."
548
00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:16,265
So did you hear?
549
00:17:16,309 --> 00:17:17,353
Someone guessed the sound.
550
00:17:17,397 --> 00:17:18,790
It was a bag of chips.
551
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:20,095
Wow. So the lesson here
552
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:21,749
is to listen to Hitchcock
and Scully more?
553
00:17:21,793 --> 00:17:23,098
- No, that can't be possible.
- Yeah, I don't think
554
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:24,665
- we earned that today.
- Agreed.
555
00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:26,449
Sorry for dragging you
into that dumb game.
556
00:17:26,493 --> 00:17:28,669
You were right. It was a waste of time.
557
00:17:28,712 --> 00:17:29,791
No, it wasn't.
558
00:17:29,827 --> 00:17:32,099
Even though it was pointless,
I did enjoy myself.
559
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,892
I can't wait to go home and tell Kevin
560
00:17:33,935 --> 00:17:36,808
you can have fun
without being productive.
561
00:17:36,851 --> 00:17:39,448
Hey, guys, they're about
to play the new mystery sound.
562
00:17:39,898 --> 00:17:41,160
I can tell Kevin tomorrow.
563
00:17:41,203 --> 00:17:42,465
I'll bet Sharon's already asleep.
564
00:17:42,509 --> 00:17:44,163
And I've got no one in my life.
565
00:17:44,206 --> 00:17:46,379
Scully, play that damn noise.
566
00:17:47,106 --> 00:17:48,820
Quentin, can I talk to you for a minute?
567
00:17:48,863 --> 00:17:50,560
Are you here to give me a long speech
568
00:17:50,604 --> 00:17:52,127
about how you still deserve my money?
569
00:17:52,171 --> 00:17:53,172
No.
570
00:17:53,215 --> 00:17:54,390
I am.
571
00:17:54,434 --> 00:17:55,827
Very cool entrance.
572
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:57,176
Thank you. Listen.
573
00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,091
Gina Linetti is not a perfect person.
574
00:17:59,134 --> 00:18:01,571
Mm, I'm hoping this gets more supportive
as it goes along.
575
00:18:01,615 --> 00:18:02,964
But what she lacks in perfection,
576
00:18:03,008 --> 00:18:04,531
she makes up for
577
00:18:04,574 --> 00:18:06,228
with an utter and total belief
that she is perfect.
578
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:07,577
Ooh, you said "but," and then you said
579
00:18:07,621 --> 00:18:09,405
- something worse.
- She is fiercely loyal.
580
00:18:09,951 --> 00:18:11,973
She will do the right thing for you
581
00:18:12,201 --> 00:18:13,893
even when you can't see it for yourself,
582
00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:17,239
and she's saved my ass countless times.
583
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:18,501
And it's been 12. I counted.
584
00:18:18,545 --> 00:18:19,981
She came up with an idea on the spot
585
00:18:20,025 --> 00:18:21,461
that you were interested in.
586
00:18:21,504 --> 00:18:23,855
Imagine what she could do
with time and resources.
587
00:18:23,898 --> 00:18:25,769
Do the world a favor.
588
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:28,076
Invest in Gina Linetti.
589
00:18:31,950 --> 00:18:33,168
Hard pass.
590
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,040
- What?
- But my great speech.
591
00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:36,345
Yeah, the speech was great,
592
00:18:36,389 --> 00:18:39,044
but I've also been lying
the whole night.
593
00:18:39,087 --> 00:18:40,480
I'm not a tech mogul.
594
00:18:40,523 --> 00:18:41,829
I came here to mess with people.
595
00:18:41,873 --> 00:18:43,700
- How dare you?
- Speaking of which,
596
00:18:43,744 --> 00:18:45,659
did either one of you drive?
'Cause I could use a ride.
597
00:18:45,702 --> 00:18:47,922
- No, Quentin.
- Oh, Quentin.
598
00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:50,446
Okay.
599
00:18:50,490 --> 00:18:51,752
Now open your eyes,
600
00:18:51,795 --> 00:18:54,015
and the person you are meant to be with
601
00:18:54,059 --> 00:18:55,950
should appear before you.
602
00:18:58,585 --> 00:19:00,239
Sorry. I was just watching.
603
00:19:00,282 --> 00:19:02,049
Get out of here, Hitchcock!
604
00:19:02,632 --> 00:19:04,591
- Ugh.
- This isn't working.
605
00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:06,027
I'm no closer to making a decision.
606
00:19:06,071 --> 00:19:07,333
I'm jumping down.
607
00:19:07,376 --> 00:19:08,900
Well, you can't just jump down.
608
00:19:09,422 --> 00:19:11,337
- My goodness!
- It's over.
609
00:19:11,380 --> 00:19:12,512
I'm gonna put 'em both in a group text
610
00:19:12,555 --> 00:19:13,643
- and say "peace out."
- Uh, no!
611
00:19:13,687 --> 00:19:14,949
There's still more options.
612
00:19:14,993 --> 00:19:16,342
We haven't even done roleplay yet.
613
00:19:16,385 --> 00:19:17,509
What?
614
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:18,787
Ugh.
615
00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:21,477
I took too long getting back to Quinoa
and they got mad and ended it.
616
00:19:21,521 --> 00:19:23,044
And that's how it's done.
617
00:19:23,088 --> 00:19:24,717
- What are you talking about?
- The process worked.
618
00:19:24,753 --> 00:19:26,395
Boyles don't make decisions.
619
00:19:26,439 --> 00:19:27,744
We delay our decisions
620
00:19:27,788 --> 00:19:29,442
until the universe makes them for us.
621
00:19:29,485 --> 00:19:31,618
That way, we never make a wrong choice.
622
00:19:31,661 --> 00:19:33,794
That is very sad,
but also, I guess it worked.
623
00:19:33,837 --> 00:19:35,187
- Mm-hmm.
- I do feel pretty good.
624
00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:36,884
Couscous is dope. She's funny.
625
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,364
Couscous is a she! I knew it!
626
00:19:38,407 --> 00:19:40,366
- Did you?
- No, and I still don't know.
627
00:19:40,409 --> 00:19:42,411
There's equal chance you called
them "she" to throw me off.
628
00:19:42,455 --> 00:19:43,568
You get me, Boyle.
629
00:19:45,632 --> 00:19:48,809
So I think I figured out
an awesome and dramatic way
630
00:19:48,852 --> 00:19:51,159
to reveal that I was the Tattler.
631
00:19:51,203 --> 00:19:52,944
It'll be a dance. There'll be costumes.
632
00:19:52,987 --> 00:19:55,424
Gina, it's fine. I don't care anymore.
633
00:19:55,468 --> 00:19:57,426
- It's all in the past.
- Oh, thank God.
634
00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:58,950
That is such a relief,
635
00:19:58,993 --> 00:20:01,213
'cause I didn't want people
thinking I was a tattler.
636
00:20:01,256 --> 00:20:03,128
Where's Amy?
637
00:20:03,171 --> 00:20:04,390
She is in the library, writing
638
00:20:04,433 --> 00:20:05,739
a book report on "Jane Eyre,"
639
00:20:05,782 --> 00:20:08,263
and she told me "not to wait up."
640
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:09,438
- Oy.
- Yeah.
641
00:20:10,831 --> 00:20:12,485
Thanks for trying to help with Quentin.
642
00:20:12,528 --> 00:20:14,008
It's funny. Even though it wasn't real,
643
00:20:14,052 --> 00:20:16,878
it was so fun, imagining
running my own company.
644
00:20:16,914 --> 00:20:18,133
So why don't your pursue it?
645
00:20:18,169 --> 00:20:20,449
I can't raise my kid and create an app
646
00:20:20,493 --> 00:20:22,060
and work at the Nine-Nine.
It's too much.
647
00:20:22,103 --> 00:20:24,279
Well, then prepare for me
to murder your parents
648
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,367
right in front of your face.
649
00:20:25,411 --> 00:20:26,586
- Rude.
- No.
650
00:20:26,629 --> 00:20:28,153
It's Batman's origin story,
651
00:20:28,196 --> 00:20:30,068
like the radioactive
spider thing you did with me.
652
00:20:30,111 --> 00:20:31,634
I don't read comic books.
653
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,376
You helped me become who I am,
654
00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:36,074
so now I'm gonna return the favor.
655
00:20:38,032 --> 00:20:39,016
Gina...
656
00:20:39,816 --> 00:20:41,731
I think your talents might
be wasted at the Nine-Nine.
657
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,473
I love you, but it might
be time for you to move on.
658
00:20:44,517 --> 00:20:46,127
Um, are you firing me?
659
00:20:46,171 --> 00:20:48,129
What? No. I don't think
I could even do that.
660
00:20:48,173 --> 00:20:49,435
Good, because I quit.
661
00:20:49,478 --> 00:20:50,914
You know, tonight I realized
662
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,307
that my talents
663
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,830
are being wasted at the Nine-Nine.
664
00:20:53,874 --> 00:20:55,745
Okay, that's kind of exactly
what I just said.
665
00:20:55,789 --> 00:20:58,166
Jake, let me finish. This is serious.
666
00:20:59,272 --> 00:21:00,835
It's time for me to move on.
667
00:21:01,099 --> 00:21:02,727
For real, though, it is.
668
00:21:03,101 --> 00:21:04,058
Really?
669
00:21:08,296 --> 00:21:10,064
Okay.
670
00:21:10,293 --> 00:21:11,537
Proud of you.
671
00:21:11,761 --> 00:21:12,893
Thank you.
672
00:21:12,936 --> 00:21:14,155
I'm proud of me, too.
673
00:21:15,527 --> 00:21:16,659
Guys!
674
00:21:17,028 --> 00:21:18,290
Vice principal caught me in the library.
675
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:19,365
Let's roll!
676
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:25,040
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