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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:15,708 --> 00:02:18,916 Westminster. The House of Commons. 4 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,625 Every nation they say, gets the government it deserves. 5 00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:27,083 But if that isn't a sobering thought. Beneath that noble roof, my friends, 6 00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:32,208 sit 600 MPs made up for the most part of Conservatives and Socialists. 7 00:02:32,708 --> 00:02:36,083 I might sum up the enormous difference between the two by saying that, 8 00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:40,833 whereas the Conservative philosophy is the exploitation of man by man, 9 00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:44,708 with the Socialists, it is exactly the other way around. 10 00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:49,458 Behind those dedicated 600, stand the voters who put them there. 11 00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:53,750 And heavy indeed is the responsibility that they bear. 12 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,708 Let's take a look at them for a change. 13 00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:58,916 Up in the typical parliamentary borough of Earndale, 14 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,041 they're having a by-election next month, 15 00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:02,291 and I can assure you, 16 00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:04,375 that you will find the electors of Earndale, 17 00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:07,750 as intelligent as any in the country. 18 00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:11,416 Accustomed as they are to exercising their keen judgement, 19 00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,708 on matters of national importance. 20 00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:18,791 Alert as they are to the social problems of the day. 21 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,291 Impartial and full of the spirit of British fair play. 22 00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:27,916 Call yourself a referee? Get out of here! 23 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:33,166 Mature, serious minded, intelligent citizens as you'd expect. 24 00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:38,958 For are they not the inheritors of 3,000 years of civilization and culture? 25 00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:42,125 Oh yes. 26 00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:45,750 The eyes of the country are on Earndale, alright. 27 00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:49,916 And Earndale, I am sure, has but one thought in mind. 28 00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,166 Ladies and gentlemen, 29 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:03,791 tonight we bring you this week's edition of our popular panel game, 30 00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:05,875 "What on Earth Was That?" 31 00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:10,583 Good evening. Here we are again with a brand new set of sound effects 32 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,166 to challenge the panel who are as usual your good friends, 33 00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,125 Gilbert Harding... 34 00:04:14,916 --> 00:04:16,416 How do you do? 35 00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,750 Josephine Douglas... 36 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,000 Hello. 37 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,250 Carol Carr... 38 00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,375 Good evening. 39 00:04:21,375 --> 00:04:22,791 And Robert Wilcot. 40 00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:24,500 Good evening ladies and gentlemen. 41 00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,166 Well, I'm sorry to tell you that Bob Wilcot 42 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:31,166 is making his last appearance with the panel until further notice, 43 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,625 for the very interesting reason 44 00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:35,500 that he's just been adopted as Conservative candidate for Earndale. 45 00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,041 Bob, we shall miss you very much. 46 00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:41,916 Yes indeed. 47 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,791 They're always asking me. 48 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,375 Thank you Eamonn, thank you Gilbert. Thank you. 49 00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,125 You've been with us a long time now Bob. 50 00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:50,666 Over a year Eamonn. 51 00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,541 Do you remember your first TV appearance? 52 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,125 Oh, I certainly do. 53 00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:57,583 Well before we begin, we have a little surprise for you. 54 00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,208 Hold tight Bob. 55 00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:04,000 You'd just come back from the combined universities 56 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,625 Antarctic research expedition, remember? 57 00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:09,750 But he doesn't always wear a beard. 58 00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:12,083 You're the naturalist of the party, I believe Mr. Wilcot. 59 00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,458 Er, yes. That is correct. 60 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,416 Well now, what was it like down there? 61 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:19,208 Erm. What was it like? Cold. 62 00:05:19,791 --> 00:05:20,791 What was your job? 63 00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:26,833 Erm. Well, I concentrated on various forms of Antarctic life you know, 64 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,041 erm, of Antarctic life. 65 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:32,750 In fact... I... Various forms of life in the Antarctic. 66 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:33,958 Including penguins? 67 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,583 Oh yes, yes. Penguins are very much my cup of tea. 68 00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:40,916 Oh purely scientifically speaking, of course. 69 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,041 If one can have a scientific cup of tea, 70 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,250 which I don't suppose one can really. 71 00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:47,875 But if you could then I would. 72 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:51,125 - What was the question again? - What? 73 00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:54,958 Well you've come a long way since that day Bob. 74 00:05:54,958 --> 00:05:57,958 - I was only a beginner then Eamonn. - Well you all know the rest. 75 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,958 The following week, he appeared on Tonight, 76 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:03,041 the week after that, he joined the panel of What On Earth was That? 77 00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,333 And now he's plunging into politics. 78 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,125 I think if it is felt, in inviting one, 79 00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:13,166 that one has something to offer, then one should offer that something, 80 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,541 whatever that something may happen to be. 81 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:21,125 Yes... Well I'm sure you all appreciate Bob's sincerity. 82 00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:25,875 Well now we really must get on. 83 00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:29,458 You all know the rules. All against all. Highest score wins. 84 00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,083 What on earth was that? 85 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:46,041 Oh some improbable rubbish. Greyhound derby. Summit conference. 86 00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,041 Erm. Fox terriers perhaps? 87 00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:50,916 Dog foxes. 88 00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:53,791 Well Bob. What was that? 89 00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:58,625 Yes. Well that was the branta leucopsis or barnacle goose. 90 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:01,041 It breeds in Greenland and Spitsbergen, 91 00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:03,666 and visits the Inner and Outer Hebrides in winter. 92 00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:05,375 Absolutely correct. First... 93 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,333 Ah ha. Well my boy, you certainly signed off with a bang tonight didn't you? 94 00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,666 The luck was on my side Gilbert. 95 00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:16,958 - Here you are. - No thank you. 96 00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,916 - When are you going to Earndale? - Tomorrow morning. 97 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,041 - Straight fight against Labor isn't it? - That's right. 98 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,875 Ah. And who's your opponent? 99 00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,666 - A Miss Stoker. - Miss Stoker. 100 00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,000 - She ever appeared on television? - Not that I know of. 101 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,500 Well that fixes her, doesn't it? See? You'll win in a canter. 102 00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,000 I always say the party who'll win the next election, 103 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,000 is the one that nails its flag to the television mast. 104 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,375 What's she like this Miss Stoker? 105 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,916 Oh one of those bluestocking battle-axes I gather. 106 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,500 - Thank you. - One at a time girls. Please. 107 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,458 There you go. 108 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,708 - Lovely fresh haddock. Best quality. - How much? 109 00:08:01,708 --> 00:08:03,416 - Fifteen bob. - Charge me 12. 110 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,750 - Do me a favor will you. - I'll give you 13. 111 00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,000 Now look the price is 15 bob, you fellas, not a penny less. 112 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,833 - I'll give you 14 for five. - They're yours. That's five away to you. 113 00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:11,500 - Dad! - Stella! 114 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,791 - Dad! - Hello Stella girl. 115 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:16,125 - Leaving? - That's right Jim. 116 00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:17,583 I'm just gonna say goodbye to Dad. 117 00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:19,208 Stella's going now Alf. 118 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,166 - Jim. Take over for a minute will you? - Okay. 119 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,833 Try to get rid of them yellow cod. I'll take half a quid. 120 00:08:25,708 --> 00:08:28,583 - So you're off to Earndale? - Bill's driving me to the station. 121 00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,500 I wish I could pop down there with you Stella, 122 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,750 but I look like being in trouble for the next week or two. 123 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:35,250 - I'll manage. - Yes I'll bet you will. 124 00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:38,666 Not that I ever thought any daughter of mine would put up for Parliament! 125 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,583 We've always been such a respectable family. 126 00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:44,416 Well. Goodbye Stella love. 127 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,708 And win or lose, I'm proud of you. 128 00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,375 Speech! Speech! 129 00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,041 I don't have the time. 130 00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:56,833 Well. I can't promise you I'll win, 131 00:08:56,833 --> 00:09:02,208 because well, after all it is my first try. But I will promise you one thing 132 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,625 and that is that I'll put up a jolly good fight. 133 00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,250 You'll win Stella! 134 00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:10,708 See you in the House of Commons. 135 00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,750 And don't forget to take a tenner off the beer! 136 00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:19,458 Bye. 137 00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:26,333 - Oh Bill we'll never get out. - Oh that's alright. 138 00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,250 What time did you say your train was? 139 00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:35,791 - Half past. - Oh we'll do it easy. 140 00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:39,666 - Alright? - Mm-hmm. 141 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,125 Telegraph and Mail, please. 142 00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,458 Bobby! 143 00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:56,125 Darling! 144 00:09:56,791 --> 00:09:58,666 What are you doing here? 145 00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,500 You don't think I'd let you go without seeing you off? 146 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,250 Are you taking breakfast in the diner, sir? 147 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,416 - Yes, that's right. - I'll go and get you a seat. 148 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,750 Righty-o. 149 00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:10,541 Darling, I'm thrilled to the absolute marrow you've been chosen to be an MP. 150 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,500 I'm not an MP yet, Annabel, dear, 151 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,583 just a candidate. 152 00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:17,083 But you're bound to get in, Bobby. You're so frightfully attractive. 153 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,458 Especially to me. 154 00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,458 Now, Annabel, you must not start all that over again. 155 00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:23,791 It's not the real me you feel that way about, 156 00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,958 you're just mesmerized by the public figure. 157 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,791 Oh, Mr. Wilcot, may we just have a picture, sir? 158 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,291 Oh, you think anybody's interested? 159 00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,333 If the two of you just does up. 160 00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:40,291 Is Miss Brentwood going down to Earndale with you, Mr. Wilcot? 161 00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,958 Well, I'd simply love to. 162 00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:44,250 No, no, no, she's far too busy modeling. 163 00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,083 - Two, sir? - No, just one, please. 164 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,625 - This way, sir. - Thank you. 165 00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:55,791 Oh, there's a nice seat, still. Sit down and I'll go and get you something to read. 166 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,708 Oh, the new ... please, Bill. 167 00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:00,208 Okay. He's putting your bags down at the end. 168 00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:01,625 I won't be a minute. 169 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,708 Are you two expecting to make any announcement? 170 00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,625 - What of? - Oh, Bobby, really. 171 00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,833 Any announcement would be premature. 172 00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:15,083 Well, just the teeniest bit premature. 173 00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,875 - We are merely good friends. - Dear friends. 174 00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:20,500 I've reserved you a seat, sir. Number five in the diner. 175 00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,750 Oh, thank you, Porter. 176 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,458 - Well, thank you very much, Mr. Wilcot. - Right-o! 177 00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:25,875 - There we are. - Thank you, sir. 178 00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:31,625 Well... Time I got on the train. Bye-bye, Annabel. 179 00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:35,458 Oh, it's alright, darling. I've got a platform ticket. 180 00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:37,541 Here you are, Stell. 181 00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,875 The train's due to leave in a minute. Anything else I can get you? 182 00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:43,208 I don't think so. It was sweet of you to see me off. 183 00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:47,166 What on earth's this? Women's Dream? 184 00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,916 Well... I thought you'd might like it. 185 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,625 There's an article on page 10 about infant welfare. 186 00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:56,416 You know, in my opinion, you'd do well to settle down and raise a family. 187 00:11:56,500 --> 00:12:00,541 - With your cooperation, I suppose. - Well, that's the general idea. 188 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,833 Oh, well, think it over anyway. 189 00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:06,500 I have, Bill. You know that. 190 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:11,125 Why won't you let me come up, Robert? I'm madly keen to help the Liberals. 191 00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:13,625 Annabel, I have mentioned this before, dear, 192 00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,958 I'm not a Liberal, I'm a Conservative. 193 00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:17,625 Oh. 194 00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:20,416 - Oh well. - Oh well. There I go, I'm afraid. 195 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,666 Bye-bye, Annabel. 196 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,041 Mm. 197 00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:29,208 I wish you luck, anyway and... Well, I'm always here to turn to. You know that. 198 00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,083 Bye, Stell. 199 00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:34,583 Bye. 200 00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,208 Good luck. 201 00:12:39,416 --> 00:12:40,750 Oh, sorry. 202 00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,500 - That's alright. - Au revoir, Robert. 203 00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,541 Tremendously good luck. 204 00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:01,833 - Good morning. - Good morning. 205 00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:36,708 Breakfast, madam, sir? 206 00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,333 Yes. 207 00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,583 Together or separate? 208 00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:40,750 - Separate. - Separate. 209 00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:42,000 Taking the set breakfast? 210 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,958 - Only toast and tea, please. - Just tea and toast, please. 211 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,625 Tea and toast for two, please. 212 00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:50,125 We seem to have the same ideas. 213 00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:52,041 Yes, don't we? 214 00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,458 I never have a cooked breakfast myself. 215 00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:58,625 Neither do I. 216 00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:01,333 I had to get used to the simple life in the... 217 00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,083 rather remote parts of the world at one time or another. 218 00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:06,708 You've traveled a lot? 219 00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:09,625 Oh, here and there, you know. Say nothing of everywhere. 220 00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,083 You don't watch TV? 221 00:14:16,375 --> 00:14:18,833 Not since Dad threw the set out of the window. 222 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:22,708 Ah, thank you. 223 00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:36,458 - Bilge! - Hmm? 224 00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:39,291 Oh, I beg your pardon. 225 00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:42,375 - What? Is something wrong? - No, it's... 226 00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:46,875 It's just that it infuriates me, the trash people write for women's magazines. 227 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,083 What? 228 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,875 "Love at Second Sight." 229 00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:53,041 Listen to this. 230 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:57,291 "When Melisande..." Melisande, I ask you. 231 00:14:57,375 --> 00:15:01,083 "When Melisande saw Bertrand for the second time, 232 00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,833 a strange thing happened. 233 00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:07,916 It was as if all the natural sounds of the day faded utterly away, 234 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,708 and in their place, she distinctly heard a gentle tintinnabulation 235 00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:15,250 as if distant musical glasses." 236 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,541 I must say, that's a bit much. 237 00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:21,041 When women are given slush like that to drool over, 238 00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:23,666 how can they ever take their proper place in the world? 239 00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,625 Tintinnabulation? 240 00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:29,375 Well, it's not only slush, it's unsound biologically. 241 00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:33,250 Love at first or even second sight is a romantic fiction. 242 00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,416 I couldn't agree more. 243 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,958 Man's selection of a mate and the... 244 00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:39,750 display of ritual that goes with it has much in common 245 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:41,458 with the same manifestations in birdlife 246 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:43,583 as I know from my researches. 247 00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:45,833 Into birdlife? 248 00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:48,750 Quite. Take penguins, for instance. 249 00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:52,416 Sometimes, weeks go by before they even pair off. 250 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,541 Yes, but that's on ice. 251 00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:57,375 Yes... 252 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,875 Um, you seem to know a lot about it. 253 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,000 Oh, natural history's my subject. 254 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,416 Or rather it was until the one-eyed monster got me. 255 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,875 One-eyed monster? 256 00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,833 - Television. - Oh. 257 00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:14,666 - Television? - That's right. 258 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,541 And... penguins. 259 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,333 - Then you must be... - Ah, guilty. 260 00:16:23,958 --> 00:16:26,250 Yes. I'm Robert Wilcot, I'm afraid. 261 00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,625 It's extraordinary how I'm recognized wherever I go these days. 262 00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:33,541 One of the penalties of, um... fame, one supposes. 263 00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,791 And you're going to Earndale for the by-election? 264 00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,250 Oh, I see you've heard about it. 265 00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:41,041 - Oh, yes. - Here, that's me there, in the middle. 266 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,500 Yes, underneath the main headline. 267 00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,541 Of course, I wouldn't exactly call myself a political expert. 268 00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:51,041 Oh, wouldn't you? 269 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,291 Ah, Peterson, 270 00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:03,625 - You came to stake here? - Yes, in his Lordship's car. 271 00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:06,666 - And the press laid on? - -They'll soon be here, Mr. Harding- - Pratt. 272 00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:20,708 It's Bert Glimmer, your opposite number. 273 00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:24,250 Very opposite, I fervently hope. What's he doing here? 274 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:26,750 Old Pompous Percy, eh? 275 00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,375 I wonder what he's up to. 276 00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:30,708 Top of the morning to you, old sport! 277 00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:34,166 Good day, Glimmer! How are you? Quite. 278 00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,541 I hope our candidate is going to be up to snuff. 279 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,041 He's smashing on the telly. 280 00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,625 That's not necessarily a sign of political genius. 281 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:46,083 And do you expect to win this election, Mr. Wilcot? 282 00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,041 I seem to think I have a good chance. 283 00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,958 Of course, there's an old family connection with the seat there, you know. 284 00:17:50,958 --> 00:17:54,041 - Really? - Mm. My uncle lives at Wilcot Priory. 285 00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:57,250 In fact, I rather fancy the old rascal put my name up in the first place. 286 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,708 The old rascal would be... 287 00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:01,875 - Lord Wilcot. - That's right. 288 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:06,625 Why my ancestors used to fix the elections there when Earndale was a rotten borough. 289 00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:09,208 - Really? - Not that I intend to bring that out. 290 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:10,625 I don't blame you. 291 00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:13,958 Mind you, I don't know the first thing about Earndale myself. 292 00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:17,250 In fact, between you and me, I haven't been to Earndale since I was eight. 293 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,708 Not that you intend to bring that out either. 294 00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:23,083 No point in playing into the hands of the opposition, is there? 295 00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,916 Oh, of course not. 296 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,041 By the way, should you be talking like this to a complete stranger? 297 00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:30,791 If you don't mind my saying so, 298 00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,750 you're so awfully easy to talk to. 299 00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:37,875 Thank you. Talking of the opposition... 300 00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:39,083 Hmm? 301 00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:41,625 - What about your opponent? - Oh, the battle-ax? 302 00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,208 - What? - Ah! 303 00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,875 Apparently, she's one of those bluestockings 304 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,416 from the London School of Economics. 305 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,250 I don't know why there should be always something slightly comic 306 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,500 about the London School of Economics. 307 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,458 - Neither do I. Mr. Wilcot. - Hmm? 308 00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:58,500 Isn't it just possible that the electors might prefer a battle-ax 309 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:01,250 who knows her business to a TV type who doesn't? 310 00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:05,916 I say, that's a bit hard. I'm willing to learn, you know. And... 311 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,208 after all, my name is familiar in every home. 312 00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:12,416 You could say the same for almost any detergent. 313 00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:15,541 We're just coming into Earndale now, sir. 314 00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:16,458 Oh, are we? 315 00:19:16,458 --> 00:19:19,541 Oh... I'm afraid I've talked an awful lot. 316 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,333 - I do hope I haven't bored you. - No, not at all. 317 00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:25,166 You have no idea how fascinating this has been. 318 00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,000 - Are you getting off here too? - Yes. 319 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,416 Oh, good! 320 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,583 Are you going to be in Earndale long? 321 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,958 - About three weeks. - Oh? Same here. 322 00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,791 Oh, we might meet again, then. 323 00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:41,041 We're bound to... run across each other. 324 00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:43,250 - Where are you staying? - The Castle and Ball. 325 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:46,000 I'm at The Bear. Well, at least tonight. I'm staying with my uncle. 326 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,541 Oh, I say, The Castle and Ball. Now, let me. 327 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:50,541 - No, it's quite alright. - No, really, I insist. 328 00:19:57,291 --> 00:19:58,666 Here she is. 329 00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,416 There he is. 330 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,791 What? It can't be. He's with the Labor candidate. 331 00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,666 - She's with the Tory. - What? 332 00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:16,708 He's carrying her bags! 333 00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:19,500 - Just a minute, sir. - Oh. 334 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,833 I'm sorry about this. It's always happening. 335 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,291 Would you look at the lady, sir? 336 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:25,416 Do you mind? 337 00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,875 Here, wait a minute! 338 00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:30,791 And now one of the lady alone. 339 00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,458 - What? - Hold it. 340 00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,416 Mr. Wilcot, what are you doing? 341 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,541 Thank you, Miss Stoker. 342 00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,500 - Stoker? - She's the Socialist. 343 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,541 Socialist? 344 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,750 Well done, Stella, old girl. What an entrance, eh? 345 00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:43,083 Very nice of you to carry her bags, old man. 346 00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:44,750 Very thoughtful. 347 00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,291 Mr. Wilcot. 348 00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:48,833 I did warn you. 349 00:21:03,541 --> 00:21:06,041 But she might have told me who she was. 350 00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:08,541 Why? This is warfare, Wilcot. 351 00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:10,916 You must learn to look on Earndale as a jungle. 352 00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:14,250 And that fellow Glimmer gibbering up the nearest tree. 353 00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:18,000 Blast this guy. He's going to make hay of this in the papers tomorrow. 354 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,291 I'm awfully sorry. 355 00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:22,541 Oh well. As long as you learn from your first whiff of grapeshot. 356 00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:25,166 I hope you didn't say anything indiscreet. 357 00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,708 Um... 358 00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:29,708 - No, no, no. Nothing, sir. - Good. 359 00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:36,583 We're coming up to the Priory now. Remember it? 360 00:21:36,583 --> 00:21:40,833 Oh, very well. The lake, deer park, the Queen Elizabeth room, 361 00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,291 so many historical associations. 362 00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:44,791 Hmm, yes, hmm. 363 00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:02,083 Your uncle's a very remarkable man. 364 00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:22,500 I won't come in. I must get back. I've got a lot to do. 365 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,458 Press conference first thing tomorrow morning. 366 00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:26,291 Here's the program for the first week. 367 00:22:26,375 --> 00:22:28,375 They'll collect you about 8:30. I'll see you then. 368 00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:30,291 Right. Thanks for everything. 369 00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:45,750 One complimentary. His Lordship's orders. 370 00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:50,750 - You'll find his Lordship pottering about. - Right, thank you very much. 371 00:23:06,583 --> 00:23:08,791 Leave that thing alone, Jimmy! 372 00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:16,625 - Aquin- - Tennon's Tugboat parties, please! 373 00:23:21,708 --> 00:23:23,083 What party are you in? 374 00:23:23,083 --> 00:23:24,625 Conservative. 375 00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:28,250 Anymore - from the Aquin- - Tennon's Tugboat parties? 376 00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,333 This way. Pass along, please. This way. This way. 377 00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:33,791 Excuse me. Could you tell me where I could find Lord Wilcot? 378 00:23:33,875 --> 00:23:35,541 In the kitchen, I expect. 379 00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:39,875 - Aquin- - Tennon's Tugboat parties, this way, please! 380 00:23:56,708 --> 00:23:58,541 Um, Lord Wilcot? 381 00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:00,458 - What? - Lord Wilcot. 382 00:24:00,458 --> 00:24:01,833 Hello. 383 00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:05,458 Oh! You must be Robert. Oh, come in, come in, come in. 384 00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:07,416 Make yourself really comfortable. 385 00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,916 How are you, sir? 386 00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:12,708 - So you're my nephew and heir. - That's right, sir. 387 00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:15,708 Let me see. When did we last meet? 388 00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:18,416 - When I was eight, sir. - Really? 389 00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,500 You changed. 390 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,791 I expect so. 391 00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,666 Well, now, let me see. Bacon and eggs suit you? 392 00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:29,458 I've been trying to fix these darned fruit machines. 393 00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:31,291 They're playing out far too many jackpots. 394 00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:34,500 - Won't do at all. Two eggs? - Um, no, just one. Thank you, sir. 395 00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,041 Haven't you got a cook, Uncle? 396 00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:38,583 A cook? 397 00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:43,041 My dear boy, my staff is fully occupied with Wilcot Entertainment Limited. 398 00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:46,333 I expect to have bumper season thanks to you. 399 00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:47,541 Thanks to me? 400 00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:51,416 Yes. Recommending you as a candidate was my biggest brainwave. 401 00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:52,958 I don't quite follow you, sir. 402 00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:57,375 Well, with famous TV personality Bobby Wilcot as a candidate, 403 00:24:57,375 --> 00:24:59,833 Wilcot Priory is bound to get a tremendous boost. 404 00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,625 Oh, there are endless possibilities. 405 00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:06,208 I intend to revive the old-fashioned hustings here on the grounds. 406 00:25:06,208 --> 00:25:08,375 We could charge at least a shilling a time for your autograph. 407 00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:09,666 Tenner to me, tenner to you. 408 00:25:09,750 --> 00:25:10,750 Uncle! 409 00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:15,166 Do you mean to say that you recommended me to the party for sordid financial reasons? 410 00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:17,041 Why sordid? 411 00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:21,125 But surely, Uncle, but as a conservative... 412 00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:23,500 Oh, but I'm not anymore. 413 00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:26,166 No, I'm neutral. 414 00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:29,083 Got to be with 50 coachloads a year from the co-op, hmm? 415 00:25:29,083 --> 00:25:32,333 Uncle, I am finding this acutely embarrassing. 416 00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:35,791 My dear boy, you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. 417 00:25:35,875 --> 00:25:36,958 With respect, sir, 418 00:25:36,958 --> 00:25:39,083 I did not come up here to fight this election 419 00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:40,750 purely to advertise your country seat. 420 00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:45,333 Anything that benefits me must benefit the election, 421 00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:46,500 so what on earth are you worrying about? 422 00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:49,291 - Uncle... - There, there, I understand, my boy. 423 00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:52,458 You want to serve your country and so you shall. 424 00:25:54,208 --> 00:25:56,750 This is all so disillusioning. 425 00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:06,833 Fuse. 426 00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,541 Hello, my boy. What can I do for you, hmm? 427 00:27:27,791 --> 00:27:29,500 The fuse has gone in my room, Uncle. 428 00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:34,083 No, that's no fuse. It needs another shilling in the meter. 429 00:27:34,750 --> 00:27:37,458 - Meter? - Mm, they're in all the bedrooms now. 430 00:27:38,166 --> 00:27:40,083 Do you need a shilling? Here you are. 431 00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:42,833 Thank you. 432 00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:46,166 - Uncle? - Uh-huh. 433 00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:48,291 What are my chances in the election, really? 434 00:27:49,208 --> 00:27:50,958 Oh, touch and go, I'd say. 435 00:27:50,958 --> 00:27:54,833 - I see. Thank you very much, Uncle. - Robert. 436 00:27:56,833 --> 00:27:59,791 Robert, we're all governed by dead ideas, 437 00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:03,583 but when it comes to party programs, an idea is not merely to be dead 438 00:28:03,583 --> 00:28:07,291 but to have lost all meaning before there's any chance of being adopted. 439 00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:09,083 Not real enthusiasm. 440 00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:11,583 Remember that, my boy. 441 00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:14,833 It'll get you absolutely nowhere. 442 00:28:15,458 --> 00:28:18,125 A hundred and four pounds, two and eight pence for today's total. 443 00:28:18,791 --> 00:28:21,333 Well above average for this time of year, hmm? 444 00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:24,666 Well, sleep well, my boy. You can pay me back in the morning. 445 00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:28,875 - Good night, Uncle. - Good night, Robert. 446 00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:11,666 Part of the show, sir. 447 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,125 Couple of Americans in the Queen Elizabeth room tonight, sir. 448 00:29:15,125 --> 00:29:17,125 So we're laying on all the trimmings. 449 00:29:17,750 --> 00:29:19,875 Bringing a cup of tea at 7:30. 450 00:29:20,708 --> 00:29:22,541 Good night, Mr. Robert. 451 00:29:44,291 --> 00:29:46,125 "Carry your bag, ma'am?" 452 00:29:46,125 --> 00:29:49,625 This is how the Earndale Express, which is the local left-wing paper, 453 00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:52,291 features the little incident earlier in the week. 454 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,458 "TV galahad comes to Earndale." 455 00:29:56,083 --> 00:29:59,750 Needless to say, the Earndale Advertiser is the right-wing paper 456 00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,541 which takes an exactly opposite view. 457 00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:04,541 Well, viewers, as I said, 458 00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:06,958 today's nomination day in the Earndale by-election, 459 00:30:06,958 --> 00:30:08,083 and at any moment now, 460 00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:11,125 the candidates will be handing in their papers together with their deposits 461 00:30:11,125 --> 00:30:14,083 and... Oh, and there's a car coming here now. 462 00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:19,791 Yes, it's Bob Wilcot, the Tory candidate. 463 00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:23,500 How does it feel to be a Tory candidate, Mr. Wilcot? 464 00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:24,666 Absolutely splendid. 465 00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:27,458 I expect you find all this very different from the panel game, eh, sir? 466 00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:29,083 Oh, well, yes, I do, but... 467 00:30:29,083 --> 00:30:31,250 Well, I'm sure I shall find the right answers here too. 468 00:30:38,625 --> 00:30:40,916 I see your opponent, Miss Stoker, has just arrived. 469 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,250 See if you can get her, Jack. 470 00:30:42,250 --> 00:30:45,375 Would you care to say anything about the little incident earlier in the week? 471 00:30:45,375 --> 00:30:46,583 Would you like to say a few words, Miss Stoker. 472 00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:49,875 I would just like to say this. A rather clumsy attempt has been made 473 00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:52,375 to take advantage of a perfectly ordinary piece of good manners, 474 00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:54,166 but I bear no malice whatsoever. 475 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:57,000 I intend to fight this election without mudslinging 476 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,541 in a true sporting spirit of fair play. 477 00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:01,000 - Bravo, bravo. - Bravo! 478 00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,833 That's the idea. Put them in the wrong. 479 00:31:02,833 --> 00:31:06,625 - Have you any comment, Miss Stoker? - I certainly have. 480 00:31:07,625 --> 00:31:10,458 What is a true sporting spirit? 481 00:31:11,083 --> 00:31:13,875 I don't know and neither does he. 482 00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:19,750 It's simply a meaningless catchphrase, a piece of... immature political goo. 483 00:31:20,875 --> 00:31:22,125 As for mudslinging... 484 00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:26,375 Mud can only be slung where there's any to sling, and where there's mud to sling, 485 00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:31,458 I assure Mr. Wilcot that I intend to sling it in no uncertain manner. 486 00:31:32,666 --> 00:31:34,666 And I hope some of it sticks. 487 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:39,208 I may be young, I may be inexperienced, I may be a woman, 488 00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:41,708 but let me tell you, I am a professional. 489 00:31:56,750 --> 00:32:01,083 ...Earndale was a walking burrow controlled by Wilcot. 490 00:32:01,666 --> 00:32:05,375 Now, we have the last of the line here pretending to be a local man when... 491 00:32:05,375 --> 00:32:10,083 Let me tell you, he hasn't seen Earndale since he was eight. 492 00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:15,625 No, Mr. Wilcot, this is not cricket but war to the knife. 493 00:32:16,208 --> 00:32:17,750 - Hear, hear! - Bravo, bravo! 494 00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:24,166 Come along, Wilcot. 495 00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,333 - Well, come along! - Hmm? 496 00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:30,083 - The nomination, you know. - Yes. 497 00:32:34,833 --> 00:32:35,916 - [Harding- - Pratt] If she wants war to the knife, 498 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,166 she shall have war to the knife. 499 00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:41,416 That and all. Carry the attack to her. Don't you agree, Mr. Wilcot? 500 00:32:42,041 --> 00:32:43,708 Don't you agree, Mr. Wilcot? 501 00:32:43,708 --> 00:32:44,958 Hmm? 502 00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:49,125 Oh, yes. Yes, yes, rather, rather. 503 00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:51,625 If she wants the gloves off, she shall have the gloves off. 504 00:32:51,625 --> 00:32:54,166 Here's to mud in our eye. 505 00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:57,041 Dig up all the information you can about the girl, Peterson. 506 00:32:57,125 --> 00:32:58,125 Very well, HP. 507 00:32:58,791 --> 00:33:01,000 She was London School of Economics, wasn't she? 508 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,416 That's always good for a crack, why, I can't think. 509 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:04,625 Neither can I. 510 00:33:05,916 --> 00:33:07,291 How about fish? 511 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,000 - Fish? - Her father is a fish merchant. 512 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,250 If Mr. Wilcot could work in something about crying, stinking fish, 513 00:33:14,250 --> 00:33:15,875 it would go down rather well, I feel. 514 00:33:19,250 --> 00:33:21,583 Well, I mean, fish is always funny. 515 00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:24,416 Why? We all eat fish, don't we? 516 00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:29,375 How's this for a slogan, HP? "The Labor Party is frying tonight." 517 00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,833 I think we should reserve that for election day. 518 00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:37,750 Meanwhile, I'm sure you all agree that we have a fine candidate 519 00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:41,208 even if we haven't made one of the most fortunate of starts. 520 00:33:41,208 --> 00:33:45,041 Now, on to business. Peterson, will you read out the rest of the week's program? 521 00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:47,333 Tomorrow, at ten o'clock, press conference. 522 00:33:47,333 --> 00:33:49,416 Eleven o'clock, visit Warham House, 523 00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:52,125 Mr. Wilcot will speak to old-age pensioners. 524 00:33:52,125 --> 00:33:53,750 Television cameras will be laid on. 525 00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:57,083 12:30, lunch at Young Farmer's club. 526 00:33:57,083 --> 00:34:00,250 2:30 to four, canvassing in South Street ward. 527 00:34:00,250 --> 00:34:03,541 Five o'clock, Smith and Hendrix Factory. Six o'clock... 528 00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:05,750 return to base. 529 00:34:06,791 --> 00:34:08,541 ...start of orders. 530 00:34:08,625 --> 00:34:11,458 Round the start of orders now. 531 00:34:11,458 --> 00:34:13,916 ...line... and they're off! 532 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,500 Good afternoon, everybody. 533 00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:21,583 In a moment, Robert Wilcot, your Conservative candidate, 534 00:34:21,583 --> 00:34:25,375 will be walking down the street to show himself to you 535 00:34:25,375 --> 00:34:31,250 and... many of you who would like to meet him. Thank you. 536 00:34:34,291 --> 00:34:37,041 Our canvases have marked the likely names and addresses. 537 00:34:37,125 --> 00:34:39,208 Put down a C if they'll vote for you, 538 00:34:39,208 --> 00:34:41,583 S for Socialist, and D for doubtful. 539 00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:43,541 C for me, S for her. 540 00:34:43,625 --> 00:34:46,291 D for doubtful. 541 00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:48,916 I'll drift along behind and winkle them out with the old voice box, 542 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,833 - alright? - Alright. 543 00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,583 Your candidate Bob Wilcot of TV fame 544 00:34:56,583 --> 00:35:00,333 is now walking down this street to call on you. 545 00:35:00,333 --> 00:35:02,041 Vote for Wilcot. 546 00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:05,041 The man who knows exactly what he's doing. 547 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,250 - Mr. Reeves? - Why don't you fit a blasted suppressor? 548 00:35:20,291 --> 00:35:21,833 Vote for Wilcot, 549 00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:25,625 the man who will stop at nothing to defend your interest. 550 00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:27,583 Come on, here, on the side. 551 00:35:27,583 --> 00:35:29,291 There, how about that, eh? How... 552 00:35:33,458 --> 00:35:37,250 Vote for Wilcot, the housewife's choice. 553 00:35:37,250 --> 00:35:38,458 Oh, Mrs. Maggs? 554 00:35:38,458 --> 00:35:40,041 Oh! 555 00:35:40,125 --> 00:35:43,083 Oh, I know you, don't I? 556 00:35:43,083 --> 00:35:44,916 - I know who you are. - Oh, do you? 557 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,791 - You're Bobby Wilcot. - That's right. 558 00:35:46,875 --> 00:35:49,291 - Now... - Oh, I am pleased to see you. 559 00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:51,875 You look just like you do on the telly. 560 00:35:51,875 --> 00:35:53,458 - Do I? - Yes. 561 00:35:53,458 --> 00:35:57,125 We turn you on every week. Regular like clockwork. 562 00:35:57,125 --> 00:35:58,791 We wouldn't miss you for the world. 563 00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:02,291 We say you're just like one of the family. 564 00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:05,250 Oh, then I'm sure I can rely on your vote. 565 00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:08,583 Oh, no, I couldn't do that. 566 00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:12,083 - What? - Oh no, I couldn't do anything like that. 567 00:36:12,083 --> 00:36:13,750 Mrs. Maggs! 568 00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:17,125 - Mrs. Maggs! - I couldn't do a thing like that. 569 00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:42,000 Oh, Mr. Smithson? 570 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,750 May I introduce myself? 571 00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:45,750 I am your Conservative candidate. 572 00:36:47,291 --> 00:36:49,416 Yes, I'm Robert Wilcot. 573 00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:51,416 I see. 574 00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:56,125 Just showing myself to my supports, you know. 575 00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:58,291 I see. 576 00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:02,625 Well, thank you very much. 577 00:37:19,250 --> 00:37:20,458 - [Harding- - Pratt] Mr. Wilcot! 578 00:37:21,416 --> 00:37:23,708 You know we're due at the factory in a couple of minutes. 579 00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:25,708 Yes. 580 00:37:28,375 --> 00:37:30,375 - Getting any results? - Oh yes. 581 00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,666 Definitely. 582 00:37:35,125 --> 00:37:38,000 I've been working on one or two thoughts. How's this for a point? 583 00:37:38,666 --> 00:37:42,458 "My fair opponent may have learned at the London School of Economics 584 00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:45,250 how many red herrings make five. 585 00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:49,750 That seems no reason for introducing Billingsgate methods into this contest." 586 00:37:49,750 --> 00:37:52,083 - Pretty good, hmm? - Yes, but... 587 00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:53,875 How do we have to be so personal? 588 00:37:53,875 --> 00:37:55,958 Well, she started it, didn't she? 589 00:37:56,583 --> 00:38:00,500 I feel "how many red herrings make five" is a particularly happy touch. 590 00:38:02,416 --> 00:38:05,916 We'll reserve it for your uncle's hustings. Oh, here we are. 591 00:38:06,916 --> 00:38:08,583 Hello, everybody. 592 00:38:08,583 --> 00:38:13,416 Here is your Conservative candidate Robert Wilcot to speak to you. 593 00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:22,375 Well, here we are. You speak from the Land Rover. 594 00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:23,958 - Thank you, Mr. Egerton. - Good day, Mrs. Samson. 595 00:38:23,958 --> 00:38:25,625 - Good day, Mr. Harding- - Pratt. 596 00:38:26,708 --> 00:38:28,375 Autographs after the meeting. Thank you, madam. 597 00:38:28,375 --> 00:38:32,375 Now don't get everybody nervous. You just relax, imagine you're on television. 598 00:38:34,125 --> 00:38:36,208 - My friends. - Hello, Bobby boy! 599 00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:41,375 My friends, I feel I can call you that because... 600 00:38:41,375 --> 00:38:45,250 after all, I have appeared in so many of your homes. 601 00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:50,791 In fact, when I leave here, I hope that nobody will turn to his neighbor and say, 602 00:38:50,875 --> 00:38:52,291 "What on earth was that?" 603 00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:59,375 Well, I have come here so that I can see you and... 604 00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:02,375 so that you can see what sort of a fellow I am. 605 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,291 Now, what is the policy that I stand for? 606 00:39:05,375 --> 00:39:07,083 Vote Labor! 607 00:39:08,291 --> 00:39:13,541 Gather round, lads and lassies, and listen to your Labor candidate. 608 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,333 What you mean by trespassing on our territory? 609 00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:18,875 Trespassing, old dear? This is our pitch. 610 00:39:18,875 --> 00:39:22,208 - It's in our program. Time and place. - Free country, isn't it? 611 00:39:22,208 --> 00:39:25,000 Do you realize that without some sort of elementary give and take, 612 00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,833 the whole thing will become an absolute shambles! 613 00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:29,583 Oh, that's right, clog. You give way, we take your place. 614 00:39:30,875 --> 00:39:32,250 We're not shifting an inch! 615 00:39:32,250 --> 00:39:34,333 Please yourself, old darling, please yourself. 616 00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:40,250 Hello, everybody. This is Stella Stoker, your only professional candidate. 617 00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:45,375 I don't know what you can think of me because... 618 00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:48,250 I've never been on a TV program. 619 00:39:49,041 --> 00:39:50,833 I've never been to the... 620 00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,375 - [Harding- - Pratt] Carry on, Wilcot. Don't falter! 621 00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:55,833 - And I've only seen a penguin at the zoo. - What is the policy that I stand for? 622 00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:58,708 I stand for free enterprise 623 00:39:58,708 --> 00:40:00,625 and I am not ashamed to having been to the Antarctic. 624 00:40:08,583 --> 00:40:12,875 You, the electorate, are therefore faced with a clear choice 625 00:40:12,875 --> 00:40:14,916 between my neighbor opponent and myself. 626 00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,291 Fair play! 627 00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:21,250 Free speech! 628 00:40:21,250 --> 00:40:24,708 The eyes of the country are upon Earndale at this moment. 629 00:40:24,708 --> 00:40:28,416 - Be British! - ...problems of the working people... 630 00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:32,666 - The Conservative party... - As for myself... 631 00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:34,791 - tradition... - I would no doubt... 632 00:40:34,875 --> 00:40:39,208 I am determined to make myself heard, and nothing is going to stop me! 633 00:40:39,208 --> 00:40:41,208 Stop me! 634 00:40:42,208 --> 00:40:44,416 Carry on, Wilcot. It's all yours. 635 00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:47,041 What is the policy I stand for? 636 00:40:47,125 --> 00:40:48,916 Don't ask them, tell them! 637 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,833 Look at this, my friends! 638 00:40:50,833 --> 00:40:54,000 Sabotage! Are we gonna stand for sabotage? 639 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,541 No! 640 00:40:55,625 --> 00:40:58,666 Does he think he can shout us down? 641 00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,166 No! 642 00:41:05,083 --> 00:41:08,583 Loudspeaker or no loudspeaker, if this... 643 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,250 Vote Labor! Vote Labor! 644 00:41:17,250 --> 00:41:19,541 Freedom of speech! 645 00:41:28,875 --> 00:41:30,291 Silence! 646 00:41:32,166 --> 00:41:33,375 Thank you. 647 00:41:35,291 --> 00:41:39,250 To resume. What is the policy that I stand for? 648 00:41:52,916 --> 00:41:57,458 The issues are therefore clear cut as these two parties face each other. 649 00:41:57,458 --> 00:41:59,750 You, the electorate, are faced 650 00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:04,458 with a clear choice between my Labor opponent and myself. 651 00:43:34,833 --> 00:43:36,541 Stella... 652 00:43:45,583 --> 00:43:49,250 "I'm not saying that Mr. Wilcot couldn't manage to guess the right answer 653 00:43:49,250 --> 00:43:51,375 in some daft panel game 654 00:43:51,375 --> 00:43:54,125 or cure a penguin of a sick headache, 655 00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:57,708 but will that pay the rent for a single old-age pensioner?" 656 00:43:57,708 --> 00:43:59,250 How is that, Stell? 657 00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:02,708 Do we have to go on being personal all the time? 658 00:44:02,708 --> 00:44:06,250 Well, that's the whole idea of hustings. Slanging match. 659 00:44:06,250 --> 00:44:07,875 "Cure a penguin of a sick headache." 660 00:44:08,958 --> 00:44:12,000 One of my best bombos, although I say it myself. 661 00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:25,041 It is now my pleasure to present to you Miss Stella Stoker, 662 00:44:25,166 --> 00:44:26,708 the Labor candidate. 663 00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:30,583 Mr. Wilcot may be able to cure a sick penguin... 664 00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:33,750 Anyway, I'm sure he'd try and... 665 00:44:33,750 --> 00:44:36,875 we all know what brilliant guesses he makes on TV. 666 00:44:37,583 --> 00:44:41,750 But will this help a single old-age pensioner? 667 00:44:41,750 --> 00:44:47,291 Oh, I know he wants to help them, but I mean, well... will it? 668 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:54,625 My fair opponent may have learned how many red herrings make five 669 00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:56,166 at the London School of Economics 670 00:44:56,958 --> 00:44:59,625 and all credit to her for having made her way there 671 00:44:59,625 --> 00:45:00,875 entirely through her own efforts. 672 00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:01,875 Hey? 673 00:45:01,875 --> 00:45:05,041 But that is no reason for resorting to Billingsgate methods. 674 00:45:05,666 --> 00:45:11,416 Though I am sure they are being forced upon her by others less scrupulous. 675 00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:17,375 Well, now, it's time we came to the question of policy. 676 00:45:17,375 --> 00:45:20,333 What my party intends to do. 677 00:45:20,333 --> 00:45:23,375 What I intend to do if I'm elected. 678 00:45:23,375 --> 00:45:26,083 Uh, I beg your pardon. I mean... 679 00:45:26,083 --> 00:45:28,000 when I am elected. 680 00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:32,791 Psst! 681 00:45:33,708 --> 00:45:35,583 Thank you! Thank you. Thank you. 682 00:45:36,708 --> 00:45:39,166 - Latest figures, my Lord. - Yes, Hardy. 683 00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:42,875 Car park, 25 pounds ten, coaches, 67 pounds, 684 00:45:42,875 --> 00:45:45,583 bicycles, 12 pounds 15. 685 00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:48,333 That's an all-time record to date, my Lord. 686 00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:50,250 Good man, Hardy. Keep me posted. 687 00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:56,875 To resume, it is my sincere belief 688 00:45:56,875 --> 00:46:02,666 that our program cannot be approached by that of any other political party. 689 00:46:03,416 --> 00:46:05,958 And when I have outlined that program to you, 690 00:46:05,958 --> 00:46:09,666 I feel confident that you will agree with me. 691 00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:13,958 Item one, housing. 692 00:46:13,958 --> 00:46:16,833 Here, here. Housing. 693 00:46:20,625 --> 00:46:23,125 Thank you, my boy. Thank you indeed. 694 00:46:23,125 --> 00:46:24,416 A top old speech. 695 00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:28,083 Now, ladies and gentlemen, question time will come later. 696 00:46:28,083 --> 00:46:31,750 In the meantime, there will be an interval for the splendid self-service teas 697 00:46:31,750 --> 00:46:32,791 in the Priory cellars. 698 00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:36,708 And don't forget that both candidates at 4:50 precisely 699 00:46:36,708 --> 00:46:40,458 will be visiting the magnificent sideshows provided for your entertainment. 700 00:46:40,458 --> 00:46:43,208 That's all. Off you go. Enjoy yourselves. 701 00:46:43,208 --> 00:46:45,500 Item one... housing! 702 00:46:47,375 --> 00:46:49,708 Alright, then. Item two... 703 00:46:51,958 --> 00:46:54,375 {\an8}Come along now. Roll up, roll up. 704 00:46:54,375 --> 00:46:56,541 {\an8}Here's your chance to silence The Speaker 705 00:46:56,625 --> 00:46:59,458 or puncture the Chancellor of the Exchequer. 706 00:47:01,083 --> 00:47:02,958 Splendid shooting, my boy. 707 00:47:02,958 --> 00:47:05,000 He's winged the Prime Minister. 708 00:47:05,958 --> 00:47:08,500 Have another bob. It's only a shilling a time. 709 00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:12,125 Come along now. Demolish your political opponent. 710 00:47:12,125 --> 00:47:15,458 Three balls for sixpence but seven for a shilling. 711 00:47:16,125 --> 00:47:20,166 Oh, bad luck, Miss Stoker! Come along now, Robert. You have a go. 712 00:47:20,250 --> 00:47:21,666 This is an absolute rap, Uncle. 713 00:47:21,750 --> 00:47:23,500 Yes, isn't it wonderful? 714 00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:25,500 Down with the Tories! 715 00:47:29,666 --> 00:47:33,541 Walk up, walk up, and solve the mystery of the Westminster Maze. 716 00:47:33,625 --> 00:47:38,000 All you have to do is test your political know-how by finding your way in 717 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:42,291 and then finding your way out again. That's all. Robert, my boy. Forward. 718 00:47:43,041 --> 00:47:45,041 - Have you no shame at all, Uncle? - Hmm? 719 00:47:45,583 --> 00:47:47,708 Not... Not enough to notice. 720 00:47:47,708 --> 00:47:49,458 But seriously, Robert, you ought to have a go. 721 00:47:49,458 --> 00:47:51,458 It's a remarkably ingenious bit of designing. 722 00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:54,291 It was built by my great grandfather as a refuge. 723 00:47:54,375 --> 00:47:56,541 From my great-grandmother. And it worked too. 724 00:47:56,625 --> 00:47:58,416 I want to get back onto the platform! 725 00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:01,250 Robert, Robert, the filly is approaching the starting gate. 726 00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,250 Are you going to stay in the paddock? 727 00:48:05,958 --> 00:48:08,666 She'd waste it in politics, that girl. 728 00:48:09,500 --> 00:48:13,708 Oh, if I were only... let me see now, 45 years younger. 729 00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:24,791 I better go in with him. I'm seriously concerned about his fighting spirit. 730 00:48:24,875 --> 00:48:26,666 You stay with his Lordship and heaven's sake, 731 00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:28,958 keep the old boy off the parsnip wine. 732 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,791 - Wilcot! Are you feeling tired? - No. 733 00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:44,541 A little below par perhaps? I thought it showed in your speech. 734 00:48:44,625 --> 00:48:46,708 You know, you did my piece about the five red herrings 735 00:48:46,708 --> 00:48:48,916 rather less than justice, if I may say so. 736 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,625 After all, the campaign had... 737 00:48:53,583 --> 00:48:56,083 Wilcot! Wilcot! 738 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,208 Wilcot! 739 00:49:11,250 --> 00:49:12,916 But I'm worried about you, Stella. 740 00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,583 I tell you, I'm perfectly alright. 741 00:49:14,583 --> 00:49:17,541 Well, you ruined that bit about the penguin with a sick headache. 742 00:49:17,625 --> 00:49:20,083 I wish you'd stop carping and try to find a way out. 743 00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:22,666 But it is my job to-- Stella! Wait a minute! 744 00:49:24,458 --> 00:49:25,666 Stella! 745 00:49:29,291 --> 00:49:31,291 - Lost? - Certainly not. 746 00:49:31,375 --> 00:49:33,375 Oh, in that case, you can tell me which is the right way. 747 00:49:33,375 --> 00:49:35,666 - I have no idea. - Oh, then you must be lost. 748 00:49:35,750 --> 00:49:38,166 - I'm nothing of the kind. - You are, obviously. 749 00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:40,833 Perhaps if we sort of work this thing out together. 750 00:49:40,833 --> 00:49:43,666 You know perfectly well I can't talk to you. 751 00:49:43,750 --> 00:49:47,125 Anyway, I don't want to, so please don't follow me. 752 00:49:47,833 --> 00:49:49,916 No intention of doing anything of the kind. 753 00:49:50,458 --> 00:49:52,958 - -[Harding- - Pratt] Wilcot! - Oh, shut up. 754 00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:03,458 Wilcot! 755 00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:14,750 Must you dog my footsteps? 756 00:50:14,750 --> 00:50:16,416 I'm not dogging anybody. 757 00:50:17,083 --> 00:50:19,791 Just trying to find my way out of this blasted place. 758 00:50:21,083 --> 00:50:22,875 Why can't you be civil? 759 00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:28,750 Oh, Miss Stoker. 760 00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:33,666 I think you're absolutely bloody marvelous. 761 00:50:35,041 --> 00:50:37,041 I can't think of anything else but you. 762 00:50:37,125 --> 00:50:40,166 I know I shouldn't say it but... well, there you are, I've said it. 763 00:50:40,250 --> 00:50:41,875 - You must be mad. - Oh, I am. 764 00:50:41,875 --> 00:50:44,500 I know it doesn't make any sense politically. 765 00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,666 In fact, carried through to its logical conclusions, 766 00:50:46,750 --> 00:50:49,625 this sort of thing would make party divisions utterly meaningless. 767 00:50:50,166 --> 00:50:51,958 But the fact of the matter is 768 00:50:52,958 --> 00:50:57,583 I am completely besotted with you, and it's unhinging my whole campaign. 769 00:50:57,583 --> 00:50:59,333 Oh, and I can't stay here. 770 00:50:59,333 --> 00:51:02,041 - I can't. - I know you won't believe this, but... 771 00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:04,208 well, it's just like it said in your magazine. 772 00:51:04,916 --> 00:51:06,625 Everything sort of stopped. 773 00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:09,416 I heard a gentle tintinnabulation. 774 00:51:10,541 --> 00:51:14,208 - You too? - Hmm. Oh, must have been a delusion, of... 775 00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:16,166 What? 776 00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:22,083 Stella. Oh, Stella. 777 00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:42,666 Stella! 778 00:51:46,666 --> 00:51:48,666 Mr. Wilcot, what have you done? 779 00:51:55,125 --> 00:51:56,833 And I'm the one who's gonna do it. 780 00:51:56,833 --> 00:51:59,583 I'll teach the Tories to nominate a sex maniac 781 00:51:59,583 --> 00:52:01,875 for a respectable seat like Earndale. 782 00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:04,541 No wonder they had to send him to the Antarctic. 783 00:52:04,625 --> 00:52:06,791 Heaven knows what he'd be like in a heatwave. 784 00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:10,625 He won't dare to show his face in decent society after this. 785 00:52:10,625 --> 00:52:12,541 He won't even be able to show it on television. 786 00:52:13,291 --> 00:52:15,250 - No, Bert. - What? 787 00:52:15,250 --> 00:52:19,625 I don't want anything said or done. I just want to forget about it. 788 00:52:20,583 --> 00:52:23,625 - I mean it, Bert. - Stella, my girl. 789 00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:24,833 Are you trying to tell me-- 790 00:52:24,833 --> 00:52:27,375 I just said I wanted to forget about it. 791 00:52:27,375 --> 00:52:29,625 Course turn the crows. 792 00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:31,708 Then I did see what I thought I saw. 793 00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:33,958 Well, this is horrible. 794 00:52:34,458 --> 00:52:37,583 Not only horrible, I... don't think it's ever happened before. 795 00:52:38,291 --> 00:52:41,708 If we was all to behave like this, what would happen to parliamentary government? 796 00:52:42,208 --> 00:52:45,208 - That's what he said. - I don't care what he said! 797 00:52:45,208 --> 00:52:46,750 I don't want to know! 798 00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:51,333 I'm not at all sure you haven't destroyed my faith in human nature. 799 00:52:52,166 --> 00:52:54,583 I understand how you feel, Bert. 800 00:52:54,583 --> 00:52:56,958 I'm shaken rigid, that's the truth. 801 00:52:56,958 --> 00:53:02,166 I know I gave way to a stupid impulse but... only for a moment. 802 00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:04,416 I promise it won't happen again, ever. 803 00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:07,333 I want to fight this election as if nothing had happened 804 00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:09,375 and we'll win it, Bert, you'll see! 805 00:53:09,375 --> 00:53:11,375 You mean it's war to the knife again? 806 00:53:11,375 --> 00:53:12,458 War to the knife. 807 00:53:12,458 --> 00:53:14,958 And no holds barred? No quarter? 808 00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:17,041 - No quarter. - You sure about that? 809 00:53:17,666 --> 00:53:19,750 Well, of course, I'm sure. What do you take me for? 810 00:53:19,750 --> 00:53:20,666 - Well, I mean... - Do you think 811 00:53:20,750 --> 00:53:22,041 I have no sense of responsibility? 812 00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:24,541 - Well, don't get excited. - You think I'm not shamed? 813 00:53:24,625 --> 00:53:28,708 - Alright. - Do you think I can't control myself? 814 00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:41,666 ...part from my darling ♪ 815 00:53:41,750 --> 00:53:42,958 Wilcot! 816 00:53:42,958 --> 00:53:44,333 Just a minute! 817 00:53:44,333 --> 00:53:48,041 I dream of her everywhere ♪ 818 00:53:48,125 --> 00:53:50,750 - Sing. - The sound of her voice ♪ 819 00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:54,250 ♪ Is about me The spell of her presence is there ♪ 820 00:53:54,250 --> 00:53:55,750 - [Harding- - Pratt] Oh, not another! 821 00:53:59,291 --> 00:54:03,416 Will follow me 'til I die ♪ 822 00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:04,958 Hello, my dear chap, Where have you been? 823 00:54:04,958 --> 00:54:06,916 Someone had to invent some reason 824 00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,000 why neither candidate returned to the platform. 825 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,500 And then I find you singing in your bath. Actually singing! 826 00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:13,458 I'm terribly sorry, but it just slipped out. 827 00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:14,750 Singing! 828 00:54:14,750 --> 00:54:16,833 After behavior better suited to the... 829 00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:18,916 shadier streets of Naples? 830 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,333 Oh, don't you realize? This might lead to the most ghastly scandal. 831 00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:24,833 That girl is as clever as a wagonload of monkeys. 832 00:54:25,416 --> 00:54:28,125 I must ask you to be very careful indeed 833 00:54:28,125 --> 00:54:29,458 how you speak of Miss Stoker. 834 00:54:29,458 --> 00:54:31,833 Oh, really! What about the party? 835 00:54:31,833 --> 00:54:33,125 When is it? 836 00:54:33,125 --> 00:54:35,875 What about the electors? What about me? 837 00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:38,708 Well, I suppose it's only natural - that you should flap a bit, Harding- - Pratt, 838 00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:40,125 not knowing the sort of fellow I really am. 839 00:54:40,125 --> 00:54:42,083 - What? - I admit that my feelings 840 00:54:42,083 --> 00:54:43,708 got the better of me this afternoon. 841 00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:46,333 But I can assure you that it will not occur again. 842 00:54:46,333 --> 00:54:48,250 I thought the matter over very carefully 843 00:54:48,250 --> 00:54:51,083 and I have decided, in the interest of the party, 844 00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:55,291 that I shall not see Miss Stoker again until immediately after I am elected. 845 00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:57,041 - You really mean that? - I do. 846 00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:58,708 - And you won't go back on it? - Never. 847 00:54:58,708 --> 00:55:02,041 And you really will put your heart and soul into this campaign? 848 00:55:02,125 --> 00:55:03,333 Definitely. 849 00:55:03,333 --> 00:55:06,708 Wilcot, you've taken an enormous weight off my mind. 850 00:55:06,708 --> 00:55:07,833 Come in. 851 00:55:09,458 --> 00:55:12,291 I'm sorry, sir. The lady sent them back. Wouldn't take them in. 852 00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:14,125 Oh, well, um... Never mind. 853 00:55:15,791 --> 00:55:17,541 - Thank you very much. - Thank you, sir. 854 00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,000 Wilcot, you didn't send those flowers to her! 855 00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,250 Well, only anonymously. 856 00:55:23,250 --> 00:55:26,000 Only anonymously! She knew where to send them back, didn't she? 857 00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,958 Sending flowers to your opponent? This is callow, this want riot. 858 00:55:29,958 --> 00:55:32,750 What next, I ask myself. What next? 859 00:55:32,750 --> 00:55:34,708 And what's that doing there? 860 00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:39,833 Well... Montgomery had a photograph of Rommel in his caravan, didn't he? 861 00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:44,708 Wilcot, I'm overcome with a feeling of almost ludicrous inadequacy. 862 00:55:44,708 --> 00:55:46,833 I have given you my word... 863 00:55:48,125 --> 00:55:49,625 Hello? 864 00:55:50,416 --> 00:55:52,166 - Hello-- - It's probably the press. 865 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,500 We must appear absolutely nonchalant. 866 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:59,208 Hello. Yes, speaking. Who? 867 00:56:00,916 --> 00:56:02,583 It's that fellow Glimmer. 868 00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:05,708 Blackmail, no doubt. I better go straight over to the attack. 869 00:56:06,333 --> 00:56:09,916 Hey, Glimmer. Well, I take it you're calling me with an apology. 870 00:56:10,791 --> 00:56:12,666 What do you mean, "Come off it?" 871 00:56:14,625 --> 00:56:17,041 Oh. Oh, you think so, do you? 872 00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:21,833 Well, I... I might. It depends. 873 00:56:24,916 --> 00:56:26,250 What time? 874 00:56:27,916 --> 00:56:29,083 Where? 875 00:56:31,166 --> 00:56:32,333 Wait for me, will you? 876 00:56:56,166 --> 00:56:57,833 A Scotch, please. 877 00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:02,125 - Well? - This is a very nasty business. 878 00:57:02,125 --> 00:57:04,291 I hope you told your candidate so. 879 00:57:04,375 --> 00:57:06,833 What do you mean? Yours assaulted mine. 880 00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:08,541 I have no wish to be indelicate, 881 00:57:08,625 --> 00:57:11,416 but I distinctly saw yours returning the pressure. 882 00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:14,500 Look, suppose that we drop this, old sport? We're both in a spot. 883 00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:17,250 I agree with you, just this once. 884 00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:20,375 The truth is, there's no room for a ruddy Romeo and Juliet in the by-election. 885 00:57:20,375 --> 00:57:22,625 Quite. If this obscene canker spreads, 886 00:57:22,625 --> 00:57:24,958 it'll make a mockery of the House of Commons. 887 00:57:24,958 --> 00:57:26,583 - That's what he said. - Who? 888 00:57:26,583 --> 00:57:28,000 - Yours. - Mine? 889 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,041 Well, he's a fine one to talk. 890 00:57:30,125 --> 00:57:32,000 Mine's gone completely broody. 891 00:57:32,541 --> 00:57:34,958 In my opinion, women and politics simply don't mix. 892 00:57:34,958 --> 00:57:37,708 Well, I fear just the same about amateurs. 893 00:57:37,708 --> 00:57:39,750 After all, we're the pros, old man. 894 00:57:39,750 --> 00:57:41,291 We're the ones who get them in. 895 00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:43,666 Not that we're ever appreciated. 896 00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:46,166 They just don't know, HP, they don't know. 897 00:57:46,250 --> 00:57:47,875 You don't mind if I call you HP? 898 00:57:48,666 --> 00:57:50,916 No, of course not, um... Bert. 899 00:57:51,833 --> 00:57:54,666 HP, this flaming romance has got to be nipped in the bud. 900 00:57:54,750 --> 00:57:56,083 Yes, but how? 901 00:57:56,083 --> 00:57:57,291 Turn them against each other? 902 00:57:57,375 --> 00:58:00,500 That'll take some doing. Sickening couple. 903 00:58:01,166 --> 00:58:03,083 We could do with an old flame. 904 00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:06,208 The old infernal triangle, if you'll pardon the clitch. 905 00:58:08,166 --> 00:58:10,541 Or better still, a quadrangle. 906 00:58:11,250 --> 00:58:12,666 By gosh, you're right! 907 00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:15,083 - What? - I just remembered something. Bert, 908 00:58:15,083 --> 00:58:17,208 you and I have got to go into partnership. 909 00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:20,083 Steady on, old man. 910 00:58:20,083 --> 00:58:22,666 There's a nasty turn coming out with a thing like that. 911 00:58:25,250 --> 00:58:28,833 "Arriving this afternoon, 2:45 p.m. train. 912 00:58:28,833 --> 00:58:31,833 Wildly excited, darling. Annabel." 913 00:58:31,833 --> 00:58:35,833 Annabel? I say, HP, we can't have this. We must stop her at once! 914 00:58:36,916 --> 00:58:38,041 - [Harding- - Pratt] Too late. 915 00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:47,375 I still think someone else should meet Annabel 916 00:58:47,375 --> 00:58:49,625 and push her right back again on the first train to London. 917 00:58:49,625 --> 00:58:52,500 From what you've told me yourself, she's a well-known model 918 00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:55,041 and the rebuff might attract the worst kind of publicity. 919 00:58:55,125 --> 00:58:58,000 I don't want to see Annabel at all, especially wildly excited. 920 00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:05,916 Bobby! 921 00:59:09,041 --> 00:59:11,208 - Darling! - Oh. 922 00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:12,791 You got here, then, Annabel. 923 00:59:12,875 --> 00:59:15,208 Of course. I came the minute I heard. 924 00:59:15,875 --> 00:59:16,958 Heard? 925 00:59:16,958 --> 00:59:19,333 How do you do, Miss Brentwood? - I am Christopher Harding- - Pratt. 926 00:59:19,333 --> 00:59:21,166 So pleased. 927 00:59:21,250 --> 00:59:24,916 Well, darling, are you collecting a lovely lot of delicious votes? 928 00:59:25,833 --> 00:59:28,333 I thought you said the press want to be told. 929 00:59:28,333 --> 00:59:32,125 Peterson, Peterson! How on earth did this happen? 930 00:59:32,125 --> 00:59:33,916 I did my best, HP. 931 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,666 I'm sure you did. 932 00:59:35,750 --> 00:59:37,166 This way, Miss Brentwood. 933 00:59:40,541 --> 00:59:41,750 Sir! 934 00:59:44,708 --> 00:59:47,458 Would you care to say a few words on this romantic occasion? 935 00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:48,791 This what? 936 00:59:48,875 --> 00:59:50,041 Romantic occasion. 937 00:59:50,125 --> 00:59:51,958 How did you ever guess? 938 00:59:53,375 --> 00:59:55,458 What's going on here? 939 00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:57,291 - Shh! We're transmitting. - We're what? 940 00:59:57,375 --> 00:59:59,083 Oh, are we really? 941 00:59:59,083 --> 01:00:01,291 Are you pleased to see Miss Brentwood, Mr. Wilcot? 942 01:00:01,375 --> 01:00:04,166 - Am I pleased? - Is he pleased! 943 01:00:04,250 --> 01:00:06,083 And how does it feel, Miss Brentwood, 944 01:00:06,083 --> 01:00:09,500 to stand by his side in this exciting contest? 945 01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:12,666 I was thrilled to the absolute core when he sent for me. 946 01:00:12,750 --> 01:00:14,125 Sent for you? 947 01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:17,041 Are you staying long? 948 01:00:17,125 --> 01:00:19,833 - No, just... - Oh, yes, definitely. 949 01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:22,041 And are you expecting an arduous campaign? 950 01:00:22,666 --> 01:00:24,458 Oh yes, very odd, yes. 951 01:00:24,458 --> 01:00:26,333 I see what you mean. 952 01:00:26,333 --> 01:00:29,791 So your visit is not entirely political, Miss Brentwood? 953 01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:31,166 Oh, no. 954 01:00:31,250 --> 01:00:33,250 May we say definitely there is a romance? 955 01:00:33,250 --> 01:00:35,166 What do you say, darling? 956 01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:36,291 Well... 957 01:00:37,583 --> 01:00:39,666 Oh, Bobby, darling. 958 01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:41,125 - Stella. - I'm sure that will be 959 01:00:41,125 --> 01:00:42,666 of great interest of yours. 960 01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:43,750 How'd the meeting go? 961 01:00:43,750 --> 01:00:46,708 First class. I think I was pretty good as a matter of fact. 962 01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:49,625 There was a bit of heckling, but I might... 963 01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:51,416 Oh, Bobby, darling. 964 01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:55,375 May we expect an early announcement, sir? 965 01:00:55,375 --> 01:00:56,708 Announcement? 966 01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:58,166 Wedding bells. 967 01:00:58,250 --> 01:01:00,625 Shall we wait until after the election 968 01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:03,083 with a victory behind these two young people, 969 01:01:03,083 --> 01:01:04,583 who knows? 970 01:01:06,583 --> 01:01:10,416 And now, after that charming and romantic little surprise item, 971 01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:12,958 it's time to say "au revoir" from Earndale. 972 01:01:13,583 --> 01:01:16,333 Well, who put the idea into Annabel's head if you didn't? 973 01:01:16,333 --> 01:01:18,166 Oh, dear chap, how can you suggest such a thing? 974 01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:21,041 You told me yourself you always called her the "eager beaver". 975 01:01:21,125 --> 01:01:23,500 So how did the television cameras get there then? 976 01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:25,125 Somebody must have tipped them off. 977 01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:29,125 I'm gonna send her packing. 978 01:01:29,125 --> 01:01:30,875 She hasn't finished unpacking yet. 979 01:01:30,875 --> 01:01:33,583 All that nonsense about wedding bells. There isn't any romance! 980 01:01:33,583 --> 01:01:35,500 I'm gonna say so publicly. 981 01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,875 If you do that, you will destroy your chances in the election. 982 01:01:37,875 --> 01:01:40,000 The blazes with the election! 983 01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,625 I prefer to close my ears to that remark. 984 01:01:43,208 --> 01:01:44,416 I must warn you, Wilcot, 985 01:01:44,500 --> 01:01:48,708 publicly jilt that helpless trusting girl and you become a social outcast. 986 01:01:50,416 --> 01:01:53,375 Never able to appear on a panel game again. 987 01:01:55,500 --> 01:01:56,791 The car's waiting. 988 01:01:56,875 --> 01:01:59,291 We're already an hour behind with your program. 989 01:02:00,916 --> 01:02:03,541 - You'll pay for this, Harding- - Pratt. 990 01:02:04,375 --> 01:02:05,583 I doubt it. 991 01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:17,916 - Hello, Castle and Ball? - Yes? 992 01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,166 Is Miss Stoker there, please? I must talk to her. 993 01:02:20,250 --> 01:02:21,416 Who's this? 994 01:02:22,375 --> 01:02:23,833 Bert Glimmer. 995 01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:25,541 And make it snappy, will you, ducks? 996 01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:27,125 Oh, I'll try her room, Mr. Glimmer. 997 01:02:30,541 --> 01:02:31,625 Yes? 998 01:02:31,625 --> 01:02:33,833 - I want to talk to Miss Stoker. - Who is that? 999 01:02:34,750 --> 01:02:35,750 Bert Glimmer. 1000 01:02:39,375 --> 01:02:40,541 What? 1001 01:02:40,625 --> 01:02:41,875 Look, put her on the line, will you, old man? 1002 01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:44,333 Scarp's the word, quick's the action, don't muck about. 1003 01:02:46,375 --> 01:02:48,916 The wee lass is having a wee bit of rest 1004 01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,375 in her room, Mr. Glimmer. 1005 01:02:51,375 --> 01:02:53,333 Can I take a message? 1006 01:02:53,333 --> 01:02:55,041 Um... Who's that? 1007 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,833 McAllister. 1008 01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:02,375 Ye can old Archie McAllister. 1009 01:03:02,958 --> 01:03:05,916 Oh, yes. Hello, Archie. 1010 01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:07,416 Can I take a message? 1011 01:03:07,500 --> 01:03:08,791 Um... 1012 01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:11,791 Surely, you can trust your old friend Archie. 1013 01:03:13,583 --> 01:03:16,250 Alright, Archie. Well, listen carefully. 1014 01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:19,541 Tell Miss Stoker not to believe all she hears about the other party. 1015 01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:21,291 He's been framed. It's a put-up job. 1016 01:03:21,375 --> 01:03:22,916 Uh-huh. 1017 01:03:27,333 --> 01:03:29,208 - Hello, Stella. - Bill! 1018 01:03:29,875 --> 01:03:32,166 I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. 1019 01:03:32,250 --> 01:03:33,458 Hello? 1020 01:03:33,458 --> 01:03:35,750 Well, why didn't you tell me you were coming? 1021 01:03:36,375 --> 01:03:37,916 Well, it was... it was sort of short notice. 1022 01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:38,875 Hello? 1023 01:03:38,875 --> 01:03:41,333 What's going on. Did you get that, Archie? 1024 01:03:41,333 --> 01:03:43,041 Yeah, I got it alright. 1025 01:03:43,125 --> 01:03:45,291 I'll take you down to reception. They'll fix something. 1026 01:03:45,375 --> 01:03:47,458 Come on, Bill. We've just time for a cup of tea. 1027 01:03:49,958 --> 01:03:51,458 Now you get this. 1028 01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:54,291 You'll be surprised to hear the young lady's very heavily engaged 1029 01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:56,750 just now with her old childhood sweetheart. 1030 01:03:56,750 --> 01:04:00,000 In fact, between you and I, I'm feeling a bit detromped meself. 1031 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,625 But don't worry, your secret's safe with me. 1032 01:04:02,625 --> 01:04:05,250 Silent is the gravest... 1033 01:04:05,250 --> 01:04:07,416 Cheery blimey, old cock sparrer. 1034 01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:13,625 You simply must vote for Wilcot, everybody. 1035 01:04:13,625 --> 01:04:16,833 Do vote for Bobby, I mean, Wilcot. 1036 01:04:16,833 --> 01:04:18,833 Wilcot is too wonderful. 1037 01:04:19,416 --> 01:04:22,708 Wilcot is absolutely devers. 1038 01:04:24,875 --> 01:04:30,958 Are you going to vote for a TV glamor boy, a panel puppet? 1039 01:04:30,958 --> 01:04:32,583 No, no! 1040 01:04:32,583 --> 01:04:34,041 Take it from me, 1041 01:04:34,125 --> 01:04:36,958 you can't trust a man like that an inch. 1042 01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:41,666 Mine's chock full of fighting spirit, HP. How's yours? 1043 01:04:41,750 --> 01:04:43,958 Savage is the only word for him, Bert. 1044 01:04:43,958 --> 01:04:45,666 The boy's really getting mean. 1045 01:04:47,083 --> 01:04:51,791 I will not descend to the cheaper forms of Billingsgate abuse 1046 01:04:51,875 --> 01:04:56,000 with which Miss Stoker seems to be so very much at home, 1047 01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:57,791 but I warn her. 1048 01:04:57,875 --> 01:05:00,000 Billingsgate will boomerang. 1049 01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,416 Yay! 1050 01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:06,333 With polling day only three days away, things are really heating up. 1051 01:05:06,333 --> 01:05:10,833 The rival candidates seem to be fighting it out in a spirit of bitter hostility. 1052 01:05:10,833 --> 01:05:13,666 Over now to Ronald Basings, stoked at Earndale, 1053 01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:16,000 a town caught in the grip of election fever 1054 01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,500 as the political temperature rises to blood heat. 1055 01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:22,500 Would you like to tell the viewers what you think of this exciting election, sir? 1056 01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:24,250 A bit of a lark, innit? 1057 01:05:24,250 --> 01:05:26,291 And who do you think will get in? 1058 01:05:27,250 --> 01:05:29,541 Don't make no odds either way, do it? 1059 01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:31,875 Thank you, Mr. Hornsbet. 1060 01:05:31,875 --> 01:05:33,500 Hornsby. 1061 01:05:33,500 --> 01:05:35,458 Thank you, Mr. Hornsby. 1062 01:05:36,750 --> 01:05:39,208 Vote Conservative. Remember, 1063 01:05:39,208 --> 01:05:43,291 a vote for the Socialists is a vote for legalized robbery, 1064 01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:47,916 extortion, national extinction, and reduced profits. 1065 01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,291 A vote for Labor is a vote for prosperity. 1066 01:05:51,875 --> 01:05:54,791 Vote for Stoker. She's the girl for you. 1067 01:05:54,875 --> 01:05:57,625 Tory means unemployment. 1068 01:05:57,625 --> 01:05:59,291 It means poverty! 1069 01:05:59,375 --> 01:06:03,458 It means destitution! It means starvation! 1070 01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:06,666 It means despair! 1071 01:06:07,333 --> 01:06:10,750 Vote for Wilcot and keep out Stoker! 1072 01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:17,791 Vote for Stoker and keep out Wilcot! 1073 01:06:17,875 --> 01:06:19,875 Whoever you vote for, 1074 01:06:20,625 --> 01:06:26,166 celebrate the result at my grand Declaration of Poll party tomorrow night. 1075 01:06:26,791 --> 01:06:29,250 Mammoth firework display, 1076 01:06:29,250 --> 01:06:34,041 dancing on the greensward to Alf Farthingale and his hot six. 1077 01:06:35,458 --> 01:06:37,291 Stella's doing fine, brother. 1078 01:06:37,375 --> 01:06:41,208 Turned out to be a first-class candidate once I ironed out the headaches for her. 1079 01:06:50,041 --> 01:06:52,583 Don't worry, we'll put down the red carpet for him. 1080 01:06:52,583 --> 01:06:55,375 Bye for now. Porton. 1081 01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:58,458 Lay on the cards, pick up tonight's speaker off the 7:30 train. 1082 01:06:58,458 --> 01:07:00,416 Take him straight down to St. Luke's School for the meeting. 1083 01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:01,333 Okay. 1084 01:07:02,541 --> 01:07:04,416 - Oh. - Can I have a word, Mr. Glimmer? 1085 01:07:04,500 --> 01:07:05,791 Well, a little later. I got an appointment now... 1086 01:07:05,875 --> 01:07:08,291 - Yeah, yeah, but I'm worried about Stella. - Why? 1087 01:07:08,375 --> 01:07:12,291 - Well... I don't know how to put it, but... - Well, come on. 1088 01:07:12,375 --> 01:07:16,125 Yeah. Well, she seems to be... acting all the time. 1089 01:07:16,125 --> 01:07:19,041 Well, of course she is. She's fighting an election, isn't she? 1090 01:07:28,708 --> 01:07:30,708 Hello, Bert. I thought you weren't coming. 1091 01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:33,333 Sorry. Got held up. I say! 1092 01:07:33,333 --> 01:07:37,041 Well, in view of all our trials and tribs, I thought champs was indicated. 1093 01:07:37,125 --> 01:07:38,458 Well, I'm all for a spot of inflation. 1094 01:07:38,458 --> 01:07:41,166 Just a little gesture on the eve of pearling day. 1095 01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:42,625 Well, very nice too. 1096 01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:44,166 Pop goes old Romeo and Juliet. 1097 01:07:44,250 --> 01:07:46,916 And a very good thing too. Here, I'll give you a toast. 1098 01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:48,916 A plague on both their houses. 1099 01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,041 With brass trimmings. 1100 01:07:52,166 --> 01:07:53,041 Not bad, hmm? 1101 01:07:54,958 --> 01:07:58,125 - It is as good as the 47, in my opinion. - May the best man win. 1102 01:07:58,125 --> 01:07:59,541 Woman. 1103 01:07:59,625 --> 01:08:01,291 Well, we're not gonna go on about genders, old man. 1104 01:08:01,375 --> 01:08:02,708 Well, I second that, old pal. 1105 01:08:04,541 --> 01:08:07,958 Now, alas, I must worm my way to the Corn Exchange for our final meeting. 1106 01:08:07,958 --> 01:08:10,875 We've got one of the party intellectuals coming down from Whitehall. 1107 01:08:10,875 --> 01:08:13,208 Same here. Big pop from Transport House. 1108 01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:15,166 I think we better leave separately, Bert. 1109 01:08:15,250 --> 01:08:17,791 Cheerio. See you after the poll. 1110 01:08:17,875 --> 01:08:19,375 Cheerio, old boy. 1111 01:08:23,583 --> 01:08:24,750 Good night. 1112 01:08:25,375 --> 01:08:26,666 What do you mean by following me? 1113 01:08:26,750 --> 01:08:29,083 Well, I've been thinking again, Mr. Glimmer. 1114 01:08:29,083 --> 01:08:32,708 Well, I'm not satisfied. I've known Stella since we were kids. 1115 01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:36,666 And I think there's something preying on her mind and I want to know what it is. 1116 01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:38,000 Come over here. 1117 01:08:38,541 --> 01:08:40,458 I know I should've said something to you before. 1118 01:08:40,458 --> 01:08:42,583 You don't know the sleepless nights I've had. 1119 01:08:42,583 --> 01:08:46,666 Being such a delicate matter, I don't know how I'm gonna tell you at all. 1120 01:08:47,916 --> 01:08:50,708 You don't mean to tell me that Stella's got herself into trouble? 1121 01:08:50,708 --> 01:08:54,458 Good gracious, no. Well, I'm surprised at you. 1122 01:08:54,458 --> 01:08:56,041 I am, really. 1123 01:08:56,125 --> 01:08:57,416 I'm sorry, Mr. Glimmer. 1124 01:08:57,500 --> 01:09:00,083 However, she did have a very nasty experience. 1125 01:09:00,583 --> 01:09:03,250 - It's over and done with now. - What is? 1126 01:09:03,791 --> 01:09:06,125 Well, not to put too fine a point on it, 1127 01:09:06,708 --> 01:09:09,208 Wilcot forced his attentions on her 1128 01:09:09,208 --> 01:09:11,958 - in his Lordship's maze. - Aye? 1129 01:09:12,541 --> 01:09:15,500 They got lost and his animal passions got the better of him. 1130 01:09:15,500 --> 01:09:17,250 But he must be 65. 1131 01:09:17,250 --> 01:09:19,833 Not Lord Wilcot, Robert! 1132 01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:21,708 - No! - Yes. 1133 01:09:21,708 --> 01:09:24,583 Fortunately, we got there in time and hushed it up. 1134 01:09:24,583 --> 01:09:26,083 Hushed it up, why? 1135 01:09:26,083 --> 01:09:28,166 Well, we wouldn't want to win an election that way, would we? 1136 01:09:28,250 --> 01:09:29,541 Wouldn't we? Why wouldn't we? 1137 01:09:29,625 --> 01:09:30,875 No precedent for it. 1138 01:09:31,875 --> 01:09:33,083 Oh, I see. 1139 01:09:33,666 --> 01:09:35,833 Well, she ought to have given the swine in charge. 1140 01:09:35,833 --> 01:09:39,291 She put the election first. And I hope you'll do the same, my son. 1141 01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:42,208 I know you won't say anything until it's all over. 1142 01:09:42,208 --> 01:09:43,875 Not even to Stella. 1143 01:09:43,875 --> 01:09:46,083 It's a sordid story, I grant you, but... 1144 01:09:46,083 --> 01:09:48,500 so is a great deal of Shakespeare. 1145 01:09:48,500 --> 01:09:50,000 Alright. See you later, young fellow, my lad. 1146 01:09:50,541 --> 01:09:53,333 You don't know the part that you played in our hour of trial. 1147 01:10:15,583 --> 01:10:16,791 - Good evening. - Good evening, sir. 1148 01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:18,375 - Very good attendance. - Oh, yes. 1149 01:10:18,375 --> 01:10:20,208 I'll be in the anteroom if you want me. 1150 01:10:24,791 --> 01:10:26,416 - Good evening. - Good evening. 1151 01:10:27,041 --> 01:10:28,333 - Good evening. - Good evening. 1152 01:10:28,333 --> 01:10:29,958 Good evening, Peterson. Looks like a full house. 1153 01:10:29,958 --> 01:10:31,583 Standing room only. I shouldn't be surprised. 1154 01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:32,916 And so, gentlemen, 1155 01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:36,583 by this means, we may well hope to reduce the cost of living. 1156 01:10:36,583 --> 01:10:38,583 Very well, Wilcot. Word perfect. 1157 01:10:39,541 --> 01:10:43,125 I'll have you know that I definitely intend to win this election. 1158 01:10:43,625 --> 01:10:45,291 That is welcome news indeed. 1159 01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:49,166 And after that, I hope I never set eyes on that smug, 1160 01:10:49,250 --> 01:10:55,208 self-satisfied, hypocritical, treacherous, lying double face of yours again. 1161 01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:57,375 Where was I? 1162 01:10:57,375 --> 01:11:00,375 "Turning now to the international scone..." 1163 01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:03,250 Turning... the what? 1164 01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:08,666 Oh, no, Annabel. Not scone, scene, scene. 1165 01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:10,375 This isn't a cookery contest. 1166 01:11:10,375 --> 01:11:12,708 7:10, Peterson. I think you'd better get on to the station 1167 01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:14,291 and collect Grimsby Armfield. 1168 01:11:14,375 --> 01:11:16,958 I don't see how I can, HP. I've got to receive the press. 1169 01:11:16,958 --> 01:11:18,125 Well, somebody. 1170 01:11:18,125 --> 01:11:20,666 Send Annabel. A good idea. 1171 01:11:20,750 --> 01:11:23,000 Oh yes, please. 1172 01:11:23,791 --> 01:11:26,708 I mean, meeting cabinet ministers and things 1173 01:11:26,708 --> 01:11:29,333 would be such good practice for afterwards. 1174 01:11:29,333 --> 01:11:30,583 Oh, mind. 1175 01:11:30,583 --> 01:11:33,500 Peterson, get someone to take Miss Brentwood down to the station. 1176 01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:35,708 - Alright. - Oh, thanks frightfully. 1177 01:11:40,958 --> 01:11:42,666 Curious accent that girl has. 1178 01:11:42,750 --> 01:11:45,041 Darn few consonants, no vowels at all. 1179 01:11:51,083 --> 01:11:52,916 Car, please, to meet the 7:30. 1180 01:11:53,541 --> 01:11:56,125 Car wanted. Mr. Savers, wait, please. 1181 01:12:06,166 --> 01:12:09,708 Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me where I could find Mr. Wilcot, please? 1182 01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:11,416 Oh, he's inside, 1183 01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:14,125 in the little room by the platform. 1184 01:12:14,708 --> 01:12:16,083 Oh. Thanks very much. 1185 01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:20,791 It's a pleasure. 1186 01:12:22,458 --> 01:12:26,583 A steady application of sound economic measures. 1187 01:12:27,666 --> 01:12:31,500 And now, my friends, turning to the international scone... 1188 01:12:31,500 --> 01:12:33,333 Oh, blast! 1189 01:12:35,583 --> 01:12:37,041 I want a word with you. 1190 01:12:38,333 --> 01:12:40,125 - Me? - Yes. 1191 01:12:48,875 --> 01:12:50,291 Boo! 1192 01:12:53,416 --> 01:12:56,208 Absolutely packed to the rafters. I'm sure it's going to be... 1193 01:13:06,625 --> 01:13:08,625 Mr. Wilcot! 1194 01:13:15,583 --> 01:13:18,416 - Oh, did you see Mr. Wilcot? - That's right. 1195 01:13:18,500 --> 01:13:21,416 - You've cut your lip. - Oh, have I? 1196 01:13:21,500 --> 01:13:23,000 Ready, Miss Brentwood. 1197 01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:26,083 Oh, now you've smeared it all over your chin. 1198 01:13:26,666 --> 01:13:29,416 Do you mind if I just dab it a little? 1199 01:13:29,500 --> 01:13:31,458 Oh, you mustn't do that. 1200 01:13:32,125 --> 01:13:33,333 You'll spoil it. 1201 01:13:34,750 --> 01:13:36,833 Miss Brentwood, we'll be late! 1202 01:13:54,625 --> 01:13:56,708 I... I said, is it alright now? 1203 01:13:56,708 --> 01:13:59,125 It's perfectly lovely. 1204 01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:00,875 Miss Brentwood, please! 1205 01:14:01,791 --> 01:14:03,625 They... They're calling you. 1206 01:14:03,625 --> 01:14:06,833 Oh, yes, yes, I... I must go now. 1207 01:14:07,666 --> 01:14:10,375 - Thanks very much. - Thank you. 1208 01:14:36,583 --> 01:14:38,958 Give him air. Loosen his collar or something. 1209 01:14:38,958 --> 01:14:41,416 He's unconscious. The candidate's unconscious. 1210 01:14:41,500 --> 01:14:43,333 He might have waited until he'd taken a seat in the House. 1211 01:14:43,333 --> 01:14:44,833 HP. 1212 01:14:44,833 --> 01:14:46,500 It's 7:40. They're getting a bit restless. 1213 01:14:46,500 --> 01:14:49,208 - Where's Grimsby Armfield? - Not here yet. 1214 01:14:49,208 --> 01:14:50,541 The train must be late. 1215 01:14:50,625 --> 01:14:52,458 Well, go outside and see if somebody's coming. 1216 01:14:52,458 --> 01:14:55,041 - Alright. - Oh look, don't bother with that now. 1217 01:14:55,125 --> 01:14:58,166 Look, get up on the platform and keep the flag flying. 1218 01:15:09,083 --> 01:15:10,875 I said we'd miss the train. 1219 01:15:11,875 --> 01:15:15,833 Over there! Are you the speaker for our meeting? 1220 01:15:15,833 --> 01:15:17,291 Yes, I am. 1221 01:15:17,375 --> 01:15:20,625 Frightfully sorry we are late. Absolutely devastated. Do jump in. 1222 01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:22,583 Thank you very much. 1223 01:15:28,541 --> 01:15:30,041 I think his eyelids flickered. 1224 01:15:30,833 --> 01:15:33,041 Where the blazes is Grimsby Armfield? 1225 01:15:33,125 --> 01:15:35,500 - He's here! - Oh, thank heavens. 1226 01:15:35,500 --> 01:15:37,000 The speaker's here. 1227 01:15:38,875 --> 01:15:41,125 What? You're not Grimsby Armfield. 1228 01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:43,833 Of course I'm not. I'm Bray, from Labor HQ. 1229 01:15:43,833 --> 01:15:45,833 - You are, you? - Labor? 1230 01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:48,083 You cretin! You've met the wrong man! 1231 01:15:48,875 --> 01:15:52,333 - But isn't this St. Luke's? - No! Here, take me to the station. 1232 01:15:52,333 --> 01:15:54,416 - Oh, there's nobody there. - Well, of course there is. Unless... 1233 01:15:55,750 --> 01:15:58,333 Unless Grimsby Armfield has gone to the wrong meeting. 1234 01:15:58,333 --> 01:16:00,333 Oh no, not that! 1235 01:16:00,333 --> 01:16:01,791 St. Luke's School, quick! 1236 01:16:03,500 --> 01:16:04,958 Wait for me! 1237 01:16:06,541 --> 01:16:08,208 Oh dear. 1238 01:16:10,541 --> 01:16:12,625 St. Luke's School, quick, the Labor meeting! 1239 01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:14,833 Here, get in. Oh, come along, old man. 1240 01:16:17,750 --> 01:16:20,916 Faster! Can't you go any faster? 1241 01:16:22,333 --> 01:16:24,291 - Stop! - Here we are. 1242 01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:30,916 Our policy, my friends, is your policy. 1243 01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:34,541 A Britain where social justice prevails, 1244 01:16:34,625 --> 01:16:36,500 where each has his opportunity, 1245 01:16:36,500 --> 01:16:38,875 and the old-age pensioners are not forgotten. 1246 01:16:38,875 --> 01:16:40,791 - It's Armfield... - Speaking. 1247 01:16:40,875 --> 01:16:42,791 I tell you, my friends, 1248 01:16:42,875 --> 01:16:44,833 if we keep these aims in mind... 1249 01:16:44,833 --> 01:16:46,958 He can't have joined the Labor party in that time. 1250 01:16:46,958 --> 01:16:48,416 Fool! 1251 01:16:48,958 --> 01:16:50,750 Come on, Egerton. 1252 01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:52,291 Rescue party. 1253 01:16:52,833 --> 01:16:54,958 ...our promised land. 1254 01:16:57,125 --> 01:16:59,958 - He's spoken. - Car, car! 1255 01:17:01,166 --> 01:17:02,666 He's finished. 1256 01:17:06,625 --> 01:17:09,250 - Well, that was a splendid speech, sir. - Thank you. 1257 01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:11,416 I'm sorry you got to push off, but thanks very much for coming down. 1258 01:17:11,500 --> 01:17:14,958 - -It's been a pleasure, Mr. Harding- - Pratt. - I... What? 1259 01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,166 - [Harding- - Pratt] Back to the Corn Exchange, hurry! 1260 01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:29,958 A Britain where social justice prevails, where each has his opportunity, 1261 01:17:29,958 --> 01:17:32,250 and the old-age pensioners are not forgotten. 1262 01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:35,166 I tell you, my friends, 1263 01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:40,916 if we keep these aims in mind, under providence, we shall never doubt it 1264 01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:44,458 gain our haven, our harborage, 1265 01:17:45,208 --> 01:17:50,958 our promised land. 1266 01:17:50,958 --> 01:17:53,333 Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Armfield. 1267 01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:55,666 Thank you 1268 01:17:55,750 --> 01:18:00,500 for a brilliant, thought-provoking, and highly original speech. 1269 01:18:01,250 --> 01:18:04,625 And now, ladies and gentlemen, I call upon your candidate, 1270 01:18:05,250 --> 01:18:09,375 that fine, dynamic, upstanding young personality, 1271 01:18:09,375 --> 01:18:10,916 Robert Wilcot! 1272 01:18:16,791 --> 01:18:18,333 This way, gentlemen, please. 1273 01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:21,958 Take Mr. Wilcot up to his room, alright? 1274 01:18:24,958 --> 01:18:26,000 What's the trouble exactly? 1275 01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,583 Well, nothing serious. Just a slight recurrence of his old Antarctic sickness. 1276 01:18:29,583 --> 01:18:30,750 - Antarctic sickness? - Yes. 1277 01:18:30,750 --> 01:18:33,833 Same sort of thing as snow blindness but it affects the middle ear. 1278 01:18:33,833 --> 01:18:35,958 He'll be as right as rain in the morning. 1279 01:18:35,958 --> 01:18:37,291 I hope... 1280 01:18:37,375 --> 01:18:40,958 Hello, everybody. This is Stella Stoker, 1281 01:18:40,958 --> 01:18:43,000 your Labor candidate 1282 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:46,208 making a last appeal for your votes. 1283 01:18:46,875 --> 01:18:49,333 Don't stay home tomorrow. 1284 01:18:50,041 --> 01:18:51,500 Come out in your thousands 1285 01:18:51,500 --> 01:18:56,666 and vote for me, the only professional candidate. 1286 01:18:56,750 --> 01:18:58,250 Vote for Stoker. 1287 01:18:58,250 --> 01:18:59,416 Stella. 1288 01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:00,916 And keep out the Tory. 1289 01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,041 Well, I shall have to tell her about us. 1290 01:19:03,541 --> 01:19:05,791 I don't know how I shall tell Robert. 1291 01:19:05,875 --> 01:19:07,666 He'll be utterly shattered. 1292 01:19:07,750 --> 01:19:10,458 But well, we must. I mean, it's only right. 1293 01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,791 Oh, Bill. 1294 01:19:12,875 --> 01:19:16,041 - Well. Here... Here goes. - Hello, everybody. This is Stella Stoker, 1295 01:19:16,125 --> 01:19:18,416 your professional parliamentary candidate 1296 01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:20,791 making a last appeal for your votes. 1297 01:19:20,875 --> 01:19:22,291 - Don't stay at home. - Stella! 1298 01:19:22,375 --> 01:19:24,291 - Come out and vote. - Stella! 1299 01:19:24,375 --> 01:19:25,750 Stella. 1300 01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:27,291 Where have you been all this time? 1301 01:19:27,375 --> 01:19:28,500 Look, I've got something to tell you. 1302 01:19:28,500 --> 01:19:30,083 Well, I'm busy, can't you see? 1303 01:19:30,083 --> 01:19:31,708 Look, you've got to listen. Please listen. 1304 01:19:31,708 --> 01:19:35,583 When I got the truth out of old Glimmer, well, I... I sort of saw red, see. 1305 01:19:35,583 --> 01:19:37,583 What are you talking about? 1306 01:19:37,583 --> 01:19:39,833 Well, I'm just trying to tell you how we met. 1307 01:19:39,833 --> 01:19:42,375 - I went round to knock his block off and-- - Who's block? 1308 01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:44,500 Well, the Tory bloke, what's his name, Wilcot. 1309 01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:46,916 - And then when I was coming out after... - After what? 1310 01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,458 Well, after I clocked him. And there she was, Stella... 1311 01:19:49,458 --> 01:19:51,000 You hit him? 1312 01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,500 Yeah, I knocked him cold. 1313 01:19:52,500 --> 01:19:54,125 - But did you hurt him? - But Stella, what I'm trying to... 1314 01:19:54,125 --> 01:19:56,291 Well, who cares! Look, Stella, 1315 01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:57,375 - I was coming out of the... - Where is he now? 1316 01:19:57,375 --> 01:19:59,541 I don't know, Stella. They carried him back to his hotel. 1317 01:19:59,625 --> 01:20:02,583 Carried him? How dare you! 1318 01:20:02,583 --> 01:20:07,208 Who told you to interfere, you thug? You might've killed him! 1319 01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:10,083 Oh, you're just a great big ape! 1320 01:20:12,958 --> 01:20:14,291 Stella! 1321 01:20:15,583 --> 01:20:17,166 Stella! 1322 01:20:17,250 --> 01:20:19,750 Quite comfy, Bobby dear? 1323 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,958 - You sure you're alright? - Yes, I'm alright. 1324 01:20:22,958 --> 01:20:24,333 - Here, knock this back. - Oh. 1325 01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:28,708 I'll just have a word with HP. See if the press is gone. 1326 01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:35,916 I've got something to tell you, Bobby dear. 1327 01:20:36,958 --> 01:20:40,625 I'm afraid it's going to be an absolutely frightful blow. 1328 01:20:40,625 --> 01:20:43,375 I do hope you won't do something too desperate. 1329 01:20:43,375 --> 01:20:45,208 Desperate? Why? What's the matter? 1330 01:20:45,958 --> 01:20:48,500 I've met someone else. 1331 01:20:50,375 --> 01:20:51,625 No! 1332 01:21:00,166 --> 01:21:05,000 His name's Bill Hemingway and he's a muscle builder. 1333 01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:06,708 You know, you cut him on the lip. 1334 01:21:07,791 --> 01:21:09,416 What, him? 1335 01:21:09,500 --> 01:21:12,916 Yes, we were both absolutely bowled over. 1336 01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:16,125 Annabel, does he feel the same way about you? 1337 01:21:16,125 --> 01:21:19,333 Oh yes, utterly. 1338 01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:21,000 Annabel! 1339 01:21:25,625 --> 01:21:27,041 I must go. 1340 01:21:28,333 --> 01:21:31,541 Stella! Stella! 1341 01:21:33,208 --> 01:21:34,291 Stella. 1342 01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:36,458 Stella. 1343 01:21:36,458 --> 01:21:38,666 I thought you said he was seriously injured! 1344 01:21:38,750 --> 01:21:41,416 Stella! Stella! 1345 01:21:54,666 --> 01:21:56,541 What are you doing here? Get out! 1346 01:21:59,375 --> 01:22:01,541 - Wilcot! - Stella! 1347 01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:03,583 Blimey, he's kidnapped her! 1348 01:22:31,875 --> 01:22:33,583 But she admits she loves me. 1349 01:22:33,583 --> 01:22:35,500 Well, don't think I'm proud of it. 1350 01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:38,458 I'm disgusted with myself and I'm determined to trample 1351 01:22:38,458 --> 01:22:40,000 the beastly thing underfoot. 1352 01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,916 Anybody would think I was a monster. 1353 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,083 No, only a Tory. 1354 01:22:44,083 --> 01:22:46,875 Oh, Stella, darling, listen, please! 1355 01:22:46,875 --> 01:22:50,500 Tonight, this whole thing will be over no matter which one of us wins. 1356 01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:52,041 Well, if you win, 1357 01:22:52,125 --> 01:22:55,250 do you think I'd dream of marrying a Conservative MP? 1358 01:22:55,250 --> 01:22:58,458 I know it is not very likely but supposing you won? 1359 01:22:58,458 --> 01:23:00,041 Well, of course, I'll win. 1360 01:23:00,125 --> 01:23:02,708 Then what the devil have you been arguing about all night? 1361 01:23:02,708 --> 01:23:07,416 The point is, if I win, I intend to devote myself entirely to politics. 1362 01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,916 Pshaw and tally little. 1363 01:23:11,375 --> 01:23:13,083 Oh, Stella. 1364 01:23:13,083 --> 01:23:17,291 I couldn't bear to think of you wasting yourself day after day on 600 MPs. 1365 01:23:17,375 --> 01:23:19,416 Don't worry. Most of them won't be there. 1366 01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:23,583 You'd have to find some cause to devote yourself to, I mean... 1367 01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:26,500 - a really worthwhile one. - But I have. 1368 01:23:27,000 --> 01:23:28,333 Stella Stoker. 1369 01:23:28,333 --> 01:23:31,166 But she's a red menace. Your chairman said so. 1370 01:23:31,250 --> 01:23:34,000 No, she's not, she's my favorite shade of parlor pink. 1371 01:23:35,375 --> 01:23:37,416 It doesn't go with Tory blue, Robert. 1372 01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:41,083 Look, before you go through all the colors of the spectrum, may I say 1373 01:23:41,083 --> 01:23:43,833 that I find this conversation frankly nauseating. 1374 01:23:46,125 --> 01:23:48,625 Well... Goodbye, Robert. 1375 01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:51,416 I'll always remember you. 1376 01:23:51,500 --> 01:23:55,500 I don't want to be remembered. I want to spend the rest of my life with you! 1377 01:23:57,750 --> 01:24:02,041 Better let her leave first. Besides, you can't go back in that dressing gown. 1378 01:24:02,125 --> 01:24:04,625 British virtue will never go for that no accord stuff. 1379 01:24:04,625 --> 01:24:06,875 But I'll never be able to get her out of my mind, Uncle. 1380 01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:09,250 Oh, don't give up entirely, my boy. 1381 01:24:09,250 --> 01:24:12,000 She wavered. She distinctly wavered. 1382 01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:15,041 And looking on the bright side, you may not win the election. 1383 01:24:15,125 --> 01:24:16,875 Nothing in life is certain. 1384 01:24:16,875 --> 01:24:21,166 And providence sometimes uses the most unexpected devices 1385 01:24:21,250 --> 01:24:22,708 to achieve her ends. 1386 01:24:22,708 --> 01:24:24,250 Well, one thing is certain, 1387 01:24:25,166 --> 01:24:28,666 if I win... I lose. 1388 01:24:41,583 --> 01:24:44,166 Stella! Thank goodness. Where have you been? 1389 01:24:44,250 --> 01:24:46,166 What's happened? We've been searching all around the-- 1390 01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:48,791 I didn't expect to find you asleep on pearling day, Glimmer. 1391 01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:51,125 There must be a hundred things to do. 1392 01:24:51,125 --> 01:24:54,000 Isn't it time you started to do some of it? 1393 01:25:04,208 --> 01:25:05,916 Sixteen, please. 1394 01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:08,666 Wilcot, so you're back! 1395 01:25:09,250 --> 01:25:12,291 - Where the devil have you been? - Fishing. 1396 01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:15,500 We've been scouring the countryside all night. I haven't slept a wink. 1397 01:25:16,458 --> 01:25:19,583 That is the best bit of news I've heard for years. 1398 01:25:24,750 --> 01:25:29,375 Not bad, Hardy. Nature obviously intended me for a sign writer. 1399 01:25:34,083 --> 01:25:38,750 Oh, no. Halt! Up with it, Hardy! Up, up, up! 1400 01:25:43,291 --> 01:25:45,791 - Look out, sir. - Splint... 1401 01:25:49,875 --> 01:25:51,500 Are you alright, sir? 1402 01:25:52,791 --> 01:25:54,500 No. 1403 01:25:54,500 --> 01:25:56,208 No, blast it, I'm not. 1404 01:25:56,791 --> 01:25:58,583 No, no, no. Better not move me. 1405 01:25:59,416 --> 01:26:02,958 I think this is a case for the vet. Call Dr. Rushall. 1406 01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:09,958 Voting in the by-election is in full swing at Earndale. 1407 01:26:09,958 --> 01:26:13,666 At midnight, the result will be declared from the Earndale townhall. 1408 01:26:14,458 --> 01:26:16,291 Which of them will win? 1409 01:26:33,791 --> 01:26:35,541 - How's it going? - Neck and neck, I think. 1410 01:26:35,625 --> 01:26:36,708 I'm afraid you can't smoke in here. 1411 01:26:44,333 --> 01:26:47,000 - Evening, Wilcot. - Good evening, Mr. Pottle. 1412 01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:25,125 We have a majority of 24 on the first counts. 1413 01:27:25,125 --> 01:27:28,166 Splendid! They'll be frying tonight! 1414 01:27:28,250 --> 01:27:29,416 - [Harding- - Pratt] They've asked for a recount, of course. 1415 01:27:29,500 --> 01:27:30,416 Oh yes, of course. 1416 01:27:30,500 --> 01:27:32,125 Oh good. 1417 01:27:32,125 --> 01:27:34,041 Oh, really? 1418 01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:35,750 Well done! 1419 01:27:35,750 --> 01:27:37,625 Well, it's not over yet, you know. There's always the recount. 1420 01:27:37,625 --> 01:27:39,500 Don't forget the recount. 1421 01:27:50,750 --> 01:27:51,791 - Mr. Glimmer. Mr. Harding- - Pratt. 1422 01:28:03,583 --> 01:28:06,250 - We'd like a recount. - Yes, sir. 1423 01:28:10,750 --> 01:28:13,958 I'm afraid it's gone the other way this time. Majority of 10 in her favor. 1424 01:28:13,958 --> 01:28:16,041 - Oh dear. - That's bad. 1425 01:28:16,125 --> 01:28:17,833 I asked for a recount, of course. 1426 01:28:17,833 --> 01:28:19,916 Oh, is that absolutely necessary? 1427 01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:21,458 Of course! 1428 01:28:38,375 --> 01:28:43,000 I, John Bates, being the returning officer at the election 1429 01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:45,041 for the constituency of Earndale, 1430 01:28:45,875 --> 01:28:50,000 hereby declare the number of votes recorded for each candidate 1431 01:28:50,583 --> 01:28:53,750 after no fewer than four recounts. 1432 01:28:55,833 --> 01:28:59,833 Wilcot, 10,323. 1433 01:29:02,125 --> 01:29:06,125 Stoker, 10,301. 1434 01:29:09,500 --> 01:29:12,083 Majority, 22. 1435 01:29:14,083 --> 01:29:19,125 Electors of Earndale, I present to you your new member, Robert Wilcot. 1436 01:29:20,125 --> 01:29:21,916 Congratulations, Mr. Wilcot. 1437 01:29:29,083 --> 01:29:31,041 Tell them they made you a very happy man. 1438 01:29:31,125 --> 01:29:32,375 What? 1439 01:29:33,083 --> 01:29:34,583 Yes, um... 1440 01:29:34,583 --> 01:29:36,958 You have made me a very happy man. 1441 01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:43,583 And I would just like to thank all my helpers and my supporters 1442 01:29:43,583 --> 01:29:46,708 for putting me where I am tonight. 1443 01:29:47,875 --> 01:29:51,125 My success was entirely due to them. 1444 01:29:52,208 --> 01:29:53,375 He's right there. 1445 01:29:53,375 --> 01:29:56,625 Well, it's all over now, Bert. Pity one side had to get the chopper. 1446 01:29:56,625 --> 01:29:58,333 Oh, no hard feelings, old pal. 1447 01:29:58,333 --> 01:30:00,750 And now, the gallant loser. 1448 01:30:04,583 --> 01:30:07,083 Well... I've lost. 1449 01:30:08,583 --> 01:30:11,750 As it was, well, someone had to win, 1450 01:30:11,750 --> 01:30:15,375 and I sincerely congratulate my Conservative opponent. 1451 01:30:19,000 --> 01:30:21,541 Well, now it's all over, Bert. How about a drink? 1452 01:30:21,625 --> 01:30:24,583 - I can hardly wait, old pal. - Come on, old man. Here we go. 1453 01:30:26,250 --> 01:30:28,583 Congratulations, Mr. Wilcot. 1454 01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:36,708 - I'm sorry it had to end like this. - So am I. 1455 01:30:37,375 --> 01:30:41,000 Because I haven't won, really. I've lost. 1456 01:30:52,291 --> 01:30:53,583 Darling Robert. 1457 01:30:55,083 --> 01:30:57,875 Stella. Oh, Stella, my dear. 1458 01:31:16,666 --> 01:31:19,125 - -Mr. Harding- - Pratt, sir. - Yes? 1459 01:31:19,125 --> 01:31:20,708 I've got some terrible news, sir. 1460 01:31:20,708 --> 01:31:21,958 I know, we're watching it. 1461 01:31:21,958 --> 01:31:23,833 - I must tell Mr. Robert, sir. - Hmm? 1462 01:31:23,833 --> 01:31:25,791 His uncle has passed away. 1463 01:31:25,875 --> 01:31:27,500 Oh, no, he hasn't! 1464 01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:32,208 I've come to inform Mr. Robert that he's been Lord Wilcot since 10:48. 1465 01:31:41,375 --> 01:31:44,750 Glimmer, do you realize what this means? He'll never be able to take his seat. 1466 01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:47,666 He'll go straight to the House of Lords. The election's no-go. 1467 01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:50,541 We'll have to fight the whole blasted campaign all over again. 1468 01:31:52,875 --> 01:31:54,250 And I thought we fixed them. 1469 01:31:54,250 --> 01:31:56,541 Oh, we fixed them alright. Pity we didn't leave them alone. 1470 01:31:56,625 --> 01:31:58,166 Well, it was your idea, old man. 1471 01:31:58,250 --> 01:32:00,375 Who telephoned me in the first place? 1472 01:32:00,375 --> 01:32:02,583 Are you trying to pin the blame on me? 1473 01:32:02,583 --> 01:32:04,500 Glimmer, are you trying to wriggle out of this? 1474 01:32:04,500 --> 01:32:08,041 Oh, now listen, just because you mucked the whole thing up like a proper Charlie. 1475 01:32:08,125 --> 01:32:10,166 You appalling little squirt! 1476 01:32:10,958 --> 01:32:12,541 Take the old potato out of your mouth. 1477 01:32:12,625 --> 01:32:14,458 Try and talk like a normal human being. 1478 01:32:14,458 --> 01:32:16,958 I've always thought of you as a flashy little counterjumper 1479 01:32:16,958 --> 01:32:18,291 and by God, I was right. 1480 01:32:18,375 --> 01:32:21,416 You're crude, Glimmer, helplessly, painfully crude! 1481 01:32:21,500 --> 01:32:23,000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! 1482 01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:26,375 - Harding- - Pratt? Whoa, what a name, what a face! 1483 01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:28,416 - You oaf! - You old drip! 1484 01:32:28,500 --> 01:32:30,791 - You... lout! - Oh! Go on... 1485 01:32:30,875 --> 01:32:32,708 - Don't speak to me like that! - By gosh, wait a minute, son. 1486 01:32:32,708 --> 01:32:34,500 No, hey, don't. 1487 01:32:34,500 --> 01:32:35,708 Ah, here, won't... 1488 01:32:35,708 --> 01:32:37,958 Get out! 111847

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