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Westminster.
The House of Commons.
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00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,625
Every nation they say,
gets the government it deserves.
5
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:27,083
But if that isn't a sobering thought.
Beneath that noble roof, my friends,
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00:02:27,083 --> 00:02:32,208
sit 600 MPs made up for the most part
of Conservatives and Socialists.
7
00:02:32,708 --> 00:02:36,083
I might sum up the enormous difference
between the two by saying that,
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00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:40,833
whereas the Conservative philosophy
is the exploitation of man by man,
9
00:02:40,833 --> 00:02:44,708
with the Socialists,
it is exactly the other way around.
10
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:49,458
Behind those dedicated 600,
stand the voters who put them there.
11
00:02:49,458 --> 00:02:53,750
And heavy indeed
is the responsibility that they bear.
12
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:55,708
Let's take a look at them for a change.
13
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:58,916
Up in the typical
parliamentary borough of Earndale,
14
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,041
they're having a by-election next month,
15
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:02,291
and I can assure you,
16
00:03:02,375 --> 00:03:04,375
that you will find
the electors of Earndale,
17
00:03:04,375 --> 00:03:07,750
as intelligent as any in the country.
18
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:11,416
Accustomed as they are
to exercising their keen judgement,
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00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,708
on matters of national importance.
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00:03:14,958 --> 00:03:18,791
Alert as they are
to the social problems of the day.
21
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:24,291
Impartial and full of
the spirit of British fair play.
22
00:03:24,375 --> 00:03:27,916
Call yourself a referee?
Get out of here!
23
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:33,166
Mature, serious minded,
intelligent citizens as you'd expect.
24
00:03:33,250 --> 00:03:38,958
For are they not the inheritors of
3,000 years of civilization and culture?
25
00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:42,125
Oh yes.
26
00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:45,750
The eyes of the country
are on Earndale, alright.
27
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:49,916
And Earndale, I am sure,
has but one thought in mind.
28
00:03:58,375 --> 00:04:00,166
Ladies and gentlemen,
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00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:03,791
tonight we bring you this week's
edition of our popular panel game,
30
00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:05,875
"What on Earth Was That?"
31
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:10,583
Good evening. Here we are again
with a brand new set of sound effects
32
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:13,166
to challenge the panel
who are as usual your good friends,
33
00:04:13,250 --> 00:04:14,125
Gilbert Harding...
34
00:04:14,916 --> 00:04:16,416
How do you do?
35
00:04:16,500 --> 00:04:17,750
Josephine Douglas...
36
00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:19,000
Hello.
37
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,250
Carol Carr...
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00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,375
Good evening.
39
00:04:21,375 --> 00:04:22,791
And Robert Wilcot.
40
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:24,500
Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
41
00:04:26,458 --> 00:04:28,166
Well, I'm sorry
to tell you that Bob Wilcot
42
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:31,166
is making his last appearance
with the panel until further notice,
43
00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:32,625
for the very interesting reason
44
00:04:32,625 --> 00:04:35,500
that he's just been adopted
as Conservative candidate for Earndale.
45
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,041
Bob, we shall miss you very much.
46
00:04:40,708 --> 00:04:41,916
Yes indeed.
47
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,791
They're always asking me.
48
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,375
Thank you Eamonn,
thank you Gilbert. Thank you.
49
00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,125
You've been with us a long time now Bob.
50
00:04:49,125 --> 00:04:50,666
Over a year Eamonn.
51
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:52,541
Do you remember
your first TV appearance?
52
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,125
Oh, I certainly do.
53
00:04:54,750 --> 00:04:57,583
Well before we begin,
we have a little surprise for you.
54
00:04:59,250 --> 00:05:00,208
Hold tight Bob.
55
00:05:01,958 --> 00:05:04,000
You'd just come back
from the combined universities
56
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,625
Antarctic research expedition, remember?
57
00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:09,750
But he doesn't
always wear a beard.
58
00:05:09,750 --> 00:05:12,083
You're the naturalist of the party,
I believe Mr. Wilcot.
59
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:13,458
Er, yes. That is correct.
60
00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,416
Well now,
what was it like down there?
61
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:19,208
Erm. What was it like? Cold.
62
00:05:19,791 --> 00:05:20,791
What was your job?
63
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:26,833
Erm. Well, I concentrated on
various forms of Antarctic life you know,
64
00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,041
erm, of Antarctic life.
65
00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:32,750
In fact... I...
Various forms of life in the Antarctic.
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00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:33,958
Including penguins?
67
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:37,583
Oh yes, yes.
Penguins are very much my cup of tea.
68
00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:40,916
Oh purely
scientifically speaking, of course.
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00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,041
If one can have a scientific cup of tea,
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00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,250
which I don't suppose one can really.
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00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:47,875
But if you could then I would.
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00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:51,125
- What was the question again?
- What?
73
00:05:52,875 --> 00:05:54,958
Well you've come
a long way since that day Bob.
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00:05:54,958 --> 00:05:57,958
- I was only a beginner then Eamonn.
- Well you all know the rest.
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00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,958
The following week,
he appeared on Tonight,
76
00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:03,041
the week after that, he joined
the panel of What On Earth was That?
77
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,333
And now he's plunging into politics.
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00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,125
I think if it is felt, in inviting one,
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00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:13,166
that one has something to offer,
then one should offer that something,
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00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,541
whatever that something may happen to be.
81
00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:21,125
Yes... Well I'm sure
you all appreciate Bob's sincerity.
82
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:25,875
Well now we really must get on.
83
00:06:25,875 --> 00:06:29,458
You all know the rules.
All against all. Highest score wins.
84
00:06:38,625 --> 00:06:41,083
What on earth was that?
85
00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:46,041
Oh some improbable rubbish.
Greyhound derby. Summit conference.
86
00:06:47,625 --> 00:06:49,041
Erm. Fox terriers perhaps?
87
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:50,916
Dog foxes.
88
00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:53,791
Well Bob. What was that?
89
00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:58,625
Yes. Well that was the
branta leucopsis or barnacle goose.
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00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:01,041
It breeds in Greenland and Spitsbergen,
91
00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:03,666
and visits
the Inner and Outer Hebrides in winter.
92
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:05,375
Absolutely correct. First...
93
00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:14,333
Ah ha. Well my boy, you certainly
signed off with a bang tonight didn't you?
94
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:15,666
The luck was on my side Gilbert.
95
00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:16,958
- Here you are.
- No thank you.
96
00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,916
- When are you going to Earndale?
- Tomorrow morning.
97
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,041
- Straight fight against Labor isn't it?
- That's right.
98
00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:22,875
Ah. And who's your opponent?
99
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,666
- A Miss Stoker.
- Miss Stoker.
100
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,000
- She ever appeared on television?
- Not that I know of.
101
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,500
Well that fixes her,
doesn't it? See? You'll win in a canter.
102
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:33,000
I always say the party
who'll win the next election,
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00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,000
is the one that nails
its flag to the television mast.
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00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,375
What's she like this Miss Stoker?
105
00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:41,916
Oh one of those
bluestocking battle-axes I gather.
106
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,500
- Thank you.
- One at a time girls. Please.
107
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:45,458
There you go.
108
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:01,708
- Lovely fresh haddock. Best quality.
- How much?
109
00:08:01,708 --> 00:08:03,416
- Fifteen bob.
- Charge me 12.
110
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,750
- Do me a favor will you.
- I'll give you 13.
111
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:07,000
Now look the price is
15 bob, you fellas, not a penny less.
112
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,833
- I'll give you 14 for five.
- They're yours. That's five away to you.
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00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:11,500
- Dad!
- Stella!
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00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,791
- Dad!
- Hello Stella girl.
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00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:16,125
- Leaving?
- That's right Jim.
116
00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:17,583
I'm just gonna say goodbye to Dad.
117
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:19,208
Stella's going now Alf.
118
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,166
- Jim. Take over for a minute will you?
- Okay.
119
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,833
Try to get rid of them yellow cod.
I'll take half a quid.
120
00:08:25,708 --> 00:08:28,583
- So you're off to Earndale?
- Bill's driving me to the station.
121
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:30,500
I wish I could
pop down there with you Stella,
122
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,750
but I look like
being in trouble for the next week or two.
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00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:35,250
- I'll manage.
- Yes I'll bet you will.
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00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:38,666
Not that I ever thought any daughter
of mine would put up for Parliament!
125
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:40,583
We've always been
such a respectable family.
126
00:08:42,125 --> 00:08:44,416
Well. Goodbye Stella love.
127
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:46,708
And win or lose, I'm proud of you.
128
00:08:46,708 --> 00:08:49,375
Speech! Speech!
129
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,041
I don't have the time.
130
00:08:53,458 --> 00:08:56,833
Well. I can't promise you I'll win,
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00:08:56,833 --> 00:09:02,208
because well, after all it is my first
try. But I will promise you one thing
132
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,625
and that is that I'll
put up a jolly good fight.
133
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,250
You'll win Stella!
134
00:09:09,375 --> 00:09:10,708
See you in the House of Commons.
135
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,750
And don't forget
to take a tenner off the beer!
136
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:19,458
Bye.
137
00:09:22,208 --> 00:09:26,333
- Oh Bill we'll never get out.
- Oh that's alright.
138
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:33,250
What time did you say your train was?
139
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:35,791
- Half past.
- Oh we'll do it easy.
140
00:09:38,541 --> 00:09:39,666
- Alright?
- Mm-hmm.
141
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,125
Telegraph and Mail, please.
142
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:54,458
Bobby!
143
00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:56,125
Darling!
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00:09:56,791 --> 00:09:58,666
What are you doing here?
145
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:01,500
You don't think I'd let you go
without seeing you off?
146
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,250
Are you taking breakfast
in the diner, sir?
147
00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,416
- Yes, that's right.
- I'll go and get you a seat.
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00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,750
Righty-o.
149
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:10,541
Darling, I'm thrilled to the absolute
marrow you've been chosen to be an MP.
150
00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,500
I'm not an MP yet, Annabel, dear,
151
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,583
just a candidate.
152
00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:17,083
But you're bound to get in, Bobby.
You're so frightfully attractive.
153
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,458
Especially to me.
154
00:10:18,458 --> 00:10:21,458
Now, Annabel,
you must not start all that over again.
155
00:10:21,458 --> 00:10:23,791
It's not the real me
you feel that way about,
156
00:10:23,875 --> 00:10:25,958
you're just mesmerized
by the public figure.
157
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,791
Oh, Mr. Wilcot,
may we just have a picture, sir?
158
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:31,291
Oh, you think anybody's interested?
159
00:10:32,833 --> 00:10:34,333
If the two of you just does up.
160
00:10:36,958 --> 00:10:40,291
Is Miss Brentwood going down
to Earndale with you, Mr. Wilcot?
161
00:10:40,375 --> 00:10:41,958
Well, I'd simply love to.
162
00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:44,250
No, no, no, she's far too busy modeling.
163
00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,083
- Two, sir?
- No, just one, please.
164
00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,625
- This way, sir.
- Thank you.
165
00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:55,791
Oh, there's a nice seat, still. Sit down
and I'll go and get you something to read.
166
00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,708
Oh, the new ... please, Bill.
167
00:10:57,708 --> 00:11:00,208
Okay. He's putting
your bags down at the end.
168
00:11:00,208 --> 00:11:01,625
I won't be a minute.
169
00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,708
Are you two expecting
to make any announcement?
170
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:10,625
- What of?
- Oh, Bobby, really.
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00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,833
Any announcement would be premature.
172
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:15,083
Well, just the teeniest bit premature.
173
00:11:15,083 --> 00:11:17,875
- We are merely good friends.
- Dear friends.
174
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:20,500
I've reserved you a seat, sir.
Number five in the diner.
175
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,750
Oh, thank you, Porter.
176
00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,458
- Well, thank you very much, Mr. Wilcot.
- Right-o!
177
00:11:24,458 --> 00:11:25,875
- There we are.
- Thank you, sir.
178
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:31,625
Well... Time I got on the train.
Bye-bye, Annabel.
179
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:35,458
Oh, it's alright, darling.
I've got a platform ticket.
180
00:11:36,625 --> 00:11:37,541
Here you are, Stell.
181
00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,875
The train's due to leave in a minute.
Anything else I can get you?
182
00:11:39,875 --> 00:11:43,208
I don't think so.
It was sweet of you to see me off.
183
00:11:43,208 --> 00:11:47,166
What on earth's this? Women's Dream?
184
00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:48,916
Well... I thought you'd might like it.
185
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,625
There's an article on page 10
about infant welfare.
186
00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:56,416
You know, in my opinion, you'd do well
to settle down and raise a family.
187
00:11:56,500 --> 00:12:00,541
- With your cooperation, I suppose.
- Well, that's the general idea.
188
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,833
Oh, well, think it over anyway.
189
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:06,500
I have, Bill. You know that.
190
00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:11,125
Why won't you let me come up, Robert?
I'm madly keen to help the Liberals.
191
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:13,625
Annabel,
I have mentioned this before, dear,
192
00:12:13,625 --> 00:12:15,958
I'm not a Liberal, I'm a Conservative.
193
00:12:15,958 --> 00:12:17,625
Oh.
194
00:12:18,208 --> 00:12:20,416
- Oh well.
- Oh well. There I go, I'm afraid.
195
00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:21,666
Bye-bye, Annabel.
196
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,041
Mm.
197
00:12:24,791 --> 00:12:29,208
I wish you luck, anyway and... Well,
I'm always here to turn to. You know that.
198
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,083
Bye, Stell.
199
00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:34,583
Bye.
200
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,208
Good luck.
201
00:12:39,416 --> 00:12:40,750
Oh, sorry.
202
00:12:40,750 --> 00:12:42,500
- That's alright.
- Au revoir, Robert.
203
00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:46,541
Tremendously good luck.
204
00:12:59,125 --> 00:13:01,833
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
205
00:13:35,208 --> 00:13:36,708
Breakfast, madam, sir?
206
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:38,333
Yes.
207
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:39,583
Together or separate?
208
00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:40,750
- Separate.
- Separate.
209
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:42,000
Taking the set breakfast?
210
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,958
- Only toast and tea, please.
- Just tea and toast, please.
211
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:47,625
Tea and toast for two, please.
212
00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:50,125
We seem to have the same ideas.
213
00:13:50,125 --> 00:13:52,041
Yes, don't we?
214
00:13:54,458 --> 00:13:56,458
I never have a cooked breakfast myself.
215
00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:58,625
Neither do I.
216
00:13:58,625 --> 00:14:01,333
I had to get used to the simple life
in the...
217
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,083
rather remote parts of the world
at one time or another.
218
00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:06,708
You've traveled a lot?
219
00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:09,625
Oh, here and there, you know.
Say nothing of everywhere.
220
00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,083
You don't watch TV?
221
00:14:16,375 --> 00:14:18,833
Not since Dad threw the set
out of the window.
222
00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:22,708
Ah, thank you.
223
00:14:33,625 --> 00:14:36,458
- Bilge!
- Hmm?
224
00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:39,291
Oh, I beg your pardon.
225
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:42,375
- What? Is something wrong?
- No, it's...
226
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:46,875
It's just that it infuriates me, the trash
people write for women's magazines.
227
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,083
What?
228
00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:50,875
"Love at Second Sight."
229
00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:53,041
Listen to this.
230
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:57,291
"When Melisande..." Melisande, I ask you.
231
00:14:57,375 --> 00:15:01,083
"When Melisande saw Bertrand
for the second time,
232
00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:02,833
a strange thing happened.
233
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:07,916
It was as if all the natural sounds
of the day faded utterly away,
234
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,708
and in their place, she distinctly heard
a gentle tintinnabulation
235
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:15,250
as if distant musical glasses."
236
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,541
I must say, that's a bit much.
237
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:21,041
When women are given slush like that
to drool over,
238
00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:23,666
how can they ever take their proper place
in the world?
239
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,625
Tintinnabulation?
240
00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:29,375
Well, it's not only slush,
it's unsound biologically.
241
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:33,250
Love at first or even second sight
is a romantic fiction.
242
00:15:33,250 --> 00:15:34,416
I couldn't agree more.
243
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,958
Man's selection of a mate and the...
244
00:15:36,958 --> 00:15:39,750
display of ritual that goes with it
has much in common
245
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:41,458
with the same manifestations in birdlife
246
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:43,583
as I know from my researches.
247
00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:45,833
Into birdlife?
248
00:15:45,833 --> 00:15:48,750
Quite. Take penguins, for instance.
249
00:15:49,541 --> 00:15:52,416
Sometimes, weeks go by
before they even pair off.
250
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,541
Yes, but that's on ice.
251
00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:57,375
Yes...
252
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,875
Um, you seem to know a lot about it.
253
00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:03,000
Oh, natural history's my subject.
254
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,416
Or rather it was
until the one-eyed monster got me.
255
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,875
One-eyed monster?
256
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:09,833
- Television.
- Oh.
257
00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:14,666
- Television?
- That's right.
258
00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,541
And... penguins.
259
00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:22,333
- Then you must be...
- Ah, guilty.
260
00:16:23,958 --> 00:16:26,250
Yes. I'm Robert Wilcot, I'm afraid.
261
00:16:26,250 --> 00:16:29,625
It's extraordinary how I'm recognized
wherever I go these days.
262
00:16:29,625 --> 00:16:33,541
One of the penalties of, um...
fame, one supposes.
263
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,791
And you're going to Earndale
for the by-election?
264
00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:37,250
Oh, I see you've heard about it.
265
00:16:37,250 --> 00:16:41,041
- Oh, yes.
- Here, that's me there, in the middle.
266
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,500
Yes, underneath the main headline.
267
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,541
Of course, I wouldn't exactly call myself
a political expert.
268
00:16:48,791 --> 00:16:51,041
Oh, wouldn't you?
269
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,291
Ah, Peterson,
270
00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:03,625
- You came to stake here?
- Yes, in his Lordship's car.
271
00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:06,666
- And the press laid on?
- -They'll soon be here, Mr. Harding-
- Pratt.
272
00:17:18,291 --> 00:17:20,708
It's Bert Glimmer, your opposite number.
273
00:17:20,708 --> 00:17:24,250
Very opposite, I fervently hope.
What's he doing here?
274
00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:26,750
Old Pompous Percy, eh?
275
00:17:26,750 --> 00:17:28,375
I wonder what he's up to.
276
00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:30,708
Top of the morning to you, old sport!
277
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:34,166
Good day, Glimmer! How are you? Quite.
278
00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:38,541
I hope our candidate
is going to be up to snuff.
279
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,041
He's smashing on the telly.
280
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:42,625
That's not necessarily a sign
of political genius.
281
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:46,083
And do you expect to win this election,
Mr. Wilcot?
282
00:17:46,083 --> 00:17:48,041
I seem to think I have a good chance.
283
00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:50,958
Of course, there's an old family
connection with the seat there, you know.
284
00:17:50,958 --> 00:17:54,041
- Really?
- Mm. My uncle lives at Wilcot Priory.
285
00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:57,250
In fact, I rather fancy the old rascal
put my name up in the first place.
286
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:59,708
The old rascal would be...
287
00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:01,875
- Lord Wilcot.
- That's right.
288
00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:06,625
Why my ancestors used to fix the elections
there when Earndale was a rotten borough.
289
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:09,208
- Really?
- Not that I intend to bring that out.
290
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:10,625
I don't blame you.
291
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:13,958
Mind you, I don't know the first thing
about Earndale myself.
292
00:18:13,958 --> 00:18:17,250
In fact, between you and me, I haven't
been to Earndale since I was eight.
293
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:19,708
Not that you intend
to bring that out either.
294
00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:23,083
No point in playing into the hands
of the opposition, is there?
295
00:18:23,083 --> 00:18:24,916
Oh, of course not.
296
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:28,041
By the way, should you be talking
like this to a complete stranger?
297
00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:30,791
If you don't mind my saying so,
298
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,750
you're so awfully easy to talk to.
299
00:18:34,333 --> 00:18:37,875
Thank you. Talking of the opposition...
300
00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:39,083
Hmm?
301
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:41,625
- What about your opponent?
- Oh, the battle-ax?
302
00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,208
- What?
- Ah!
303
00:18:43,208 --> 00:18:44,875
Apparently,
she's one of those bluestockings
304
00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,416
from the London School of Economics.
305
00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:49,250
I don't know why there should be
always something slightly comic
306
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,500
about the London School of Economics.
307
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:54,458
- Neither do I. Mr. Wilcot.
- Hmm?
308
00:18:55,208 --> 00:18:58,500
Isn't it just possible that the electors
might prefer a battle-ax
309
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:01,250
who knows her business
to a TV type who doesn't?
310
00:19:02,083 --> 00:19:05,916
I say, that's a bit hard.
I'm willing to learn, you know. And...
311
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,208
after all, my name is familiar
in every home.
312
00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:12,416
You could say the same
for almost any detergent.
313
00:19:13,291 --> 00:19:15,541
We're just coming
into Earndale now, sir.
314
00:19:15,625 --> 00:19:16,458
Oh, are we?
315
00:19:16,458 --> 00:19:19,541
Oh... I'm afraid I've talked an awful lot.
316
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:22,333
- I do hope I haven't bored you.
- No, not at all.
317
00:19:22,333 --> 00:19:25,166
You have no idea
how fascinating this has been.
318
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,000
- Are you getting off here too?
- Yes.
319
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,416
Oh, good!
320
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,583
Are you going to be in Earndale long?
321
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,958
- About three weeks.
- Oh? Same here.
322
00:19:35,958 --> 00:19:37,791
Oh, we might meet again, then.
323
00:19:37,875 --> 00:19:41,041
We're bound to... run across each other.
324
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:43,250
- Where are you staying?
- The Castle and Ball.
325
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:46,000
I'm at The Bear. Well, at least tonight.
I'm staying with my uncle.
326
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,541
Oh, I say, The Castle and Ball.
Now, let me.
327
00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:50,541
- No, it's quite alright.
- No, really, I insist.
328
00:19:57,291 --> 00:19:58,666
Here she is.
329
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:04,416
There he is.
330
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:12,791
What? It can't be.
He's with the Labor candidate.
331
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,666
- She's with the Tory.
- What?
332
00:20:14,750 --> 00:20:16,708
He's carrying her bags!
333
00:20:17,541 --> 00:20:19,500
- Just a minute, sir.
- Oh.
334
00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:21,833
I'm sorry about this.
It's always happening.
335
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,291
Would you look at the lady, sir?
336
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:25,416
Do you mind?
337
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,875
Here, wait a minute!
338
00:20:28,875 --> 00:20:30,791
And now one of the lady alone.
339
00:20:30,875 --> 00:20:32,458
- What?
- Hold it.
340
00:20:32,458 --> 00:20:34,416
Mr. Wilcot, what are you doing?
341
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:35,541
Thank you, Miss Stoker.
342
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:37,500
- Stoker?
- She's the Socialist.
343
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,541
Socialist?
344
00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:40,750
Well done, Stella, old girl.
What an entrance, eh?
345
00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:43,083
Very nice of you
to carry her bags, old man.
346
00:20:43,083 --> 00:20:44,750
Very thoughtful.
347
00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:47,291
Mr. Wilcot.
348
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:48,833
I did warn you.
349
00:21:03,541 --> 00:21:06,041
But she might have told me who she was.
350
00:21:06,125 --> 00:21:08,541
Why? This is warfare, Wilcot.
351
00:21:08,625 --> 00:21:10,916
You must learn to look on Earndale
as a jungle.
352
00:21:11,458 --> 00:21:14,250
And that fellow Glimmer
gibbering up the nearest tree.
353
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:18,000
Blast this guy. He's going to
make hay of this in the papers tomorrow.
354
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,291
I'm awfully sorry.
355
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:22,541
Oh well. As long as you learn
from your first whiff of grapeshot.
356
00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:25,166
I hope you didn't say anything indiscreet.
357
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:26,708
Um...
358
00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:29,708
- No, no, no. Nothing, sir.
- Good.
359
00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:36,583
We're coming up to the Priory now.
Remember it?
360
00:21:36,583 --> 00:21:40,833
Oh, very well. The lake, deer park,
the Queen Elizabeth room,
361
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,291
so many historical associations.
362
00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:44,791
Hmm, yes, hmm.
363
00:21:59,708 --> 00:22:02,083
Your uncle's a very remarkable man.
364
00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:22,500
I won't come in. I must get back.
I've got a lot to do.
365
00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,458
Press conference
first thing tomorrow morning.
366
00:22:24,458 --> 00:22:26,291
Here's the program for the first week.
367
00:22:26,375 --> 00:22:28,375
They'll collect you about 8:30.
I'll see you then.
368
00:22:28,375 --> 00:22:30,291
Right. Thanks for everything.
369
00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:45,750
One complimentary. His Lordship's orders.
370
00:22:47,166 --> 00:22:50,750
- You'll find his Lordship pottering about.
- Right, thank you very much.
371
00:23:06,583 --> 00:23:08,791
Leave that thing alone, Jimmy!
372
00:23:14,125 --> 00:23:16,625
- Aquin-
- Tennon's Tugboat parties, please!
373
00:23:21,708 --> 00:23:23,083
What party are you in?
374
00:23:23,083 --> 00:23:24,625
Conservative.
375
00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:28,250
Anymore
- from the Aquin-
- Tennon's Tugboat parties?
376
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,333
This way. Pass along, please. This way.
This way.
377
00:23:31,333 --> 00:23:33,791
Excuse me. Could you tell me
where I could find Lord Wilcot?
378
00:23:33,875 --> 00:23:35,541
In the kitchen, I expect.
379
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:39,875
- Aquin-
- Tennon's Tugboat parties, this way, please!
380
00:23:56,708 --> 00:23:58,541
Um, Lord Wilcot?
381
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:00,458
- What?
- Lord Wilcot.
382
00:24:00,458 --> 00:24:01,833
Hello.
383
00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:05,458
Oh! You must be Robert.
Oh, come in, come in, come in.
384
00:24:05,458 --> 00:24:07,416
Make yourself really comfortable.
385
00:24:07,500 --> 00:24:08,916
How are you, sir?
386
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:12,708
- So you're my nephew and heir.
- That's right, sir.
387
00:24:12,708 --> 00:24:15,708
Let me see. When did we last meet?
388
00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:18,416
- When I was eight, sir.
- Really?
389
00:24:19,166 --> 00:24:20,500
You changed.
390
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,791
I expect so.
391
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,666
Well, now, let me see.
Bacon and eggs suit you?
392
00:24:26,750 --> 00:24:29,458
I've been trying to fix
these darned fruit machines.
393
00:24:29,458 --> 00:24:31,291
They're playing out far too many jackpots.
394
00:24:31,375 --> 00:24:34,500
- Won't do at all. Two eggs?
- Um, no, just one. Thank you, sir.
395
00:24:35,166 --> 00:24:37,041
Haven't you got a cook, Uncle?
396
00:24:37,125 --> 00:24:38,583
A cook?
397
00:24:38,583 --> 00:24:43,041
My dear boy, my staff is fully occupied
with Wilcot Entertainment Limited.
398
00:24:43,125 --> 00:24:46,333
I expect to have bumper season
thanks to you.
399
00:24:46,333 --> 00:24:47,541
Thanks to me?
400
00:24:47,625 --> 00:24:51,416
Yes. Recommending you as a candidate
was my biggest brainwave.
401
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:52,958
I don't quite follow you, sir.
402
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:57,375
Well, with famous TV personality
Bobby Wilcot as a candidate,
403
00:24:57,375 --> 00:24:59,833
Wilcot Priory is bound to get
a tremendous boost.
404
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:02,625
Oh, there are endless possibilities.
405
00:25:02,625 --> 00:25:06,208
I intend to revive the old-fashioned
hustings here on the grounds.
406
00:25:06,208 --> 00:25:08,375
We could charge at least a shilling a time
for your autograph.
407
00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:09,666
Tenner to me, tenner to you.
408
00:25:09,750 --> 00:25:10,750
Uncle!
409
00:25:11,333 --> 00:25:15,166
Do you mean to say that you recommended me
to the party for sordid financial reasons?
410
00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:17,041
Why sordid?
411
00:25:18,875 --> 00:25:21,125
But surely, Uncle, but as a conservative...
412
00:25:21,125 --> 00:25:23,500
Oh, but I'm not anymore.
413
00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:26,166
No, I'm neutral.
414
00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:29,083
Got to be with 50 coachloads a year
from the co-op, hmm?
415
00:25:29,083 --> 00:25:32,333
Uncle,
I am finding this acutely embarrassing.
416
00:25:32,333 --> 00:25:35,791
My dear boy, you can't make an omelet
without breaking eggs.
417
00:25:35,875 --> 00:25:36,958
With respect, sir,
418
00:25:36,958 --> 00:25:39,083
I did not come up here
to fight this election
419
00:25:39,083 --> 00:25:40,750
purely to advertise your country seat.
420
00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:45,333
Anything that benefits me
must benefit the election,
421
00:25:45,333 --> 00:25:46,500
so what on earth are you worrying about?
422
00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:49,291
- Uncle...
- There, there, I understand, my boy.
423
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:52,458
You want to serve your country
and so you shall.
424
00:25:54,208 --> 00:25:56,750
This is all so disillusioning.
425
00:27:05,666 --> 00:27:06,833
Fuse.
426
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,541
Hello, my boy. What can I do for you, hmm?
427
00:27:27,791 --> 00:27:29,500
The fuse has gone in my room, Uncle.
428
00:27:30,833 --> 00:27:34,083
No, that's no fuse.
It needs another shilling in the meter.
429
00:27:34,750 --> 00:27:37,458
- Meter?
- Mm, they're in all the bedrooms now.
430
00:27:38,166 --> 00:27:40,083
Do you need a shilling? Here you are.
431
00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:42,833
Thank you.
432
00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:46,166
- Uncle?
- Uh-huh.
433
00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:48,291
What are my chances in the election,
really?
434
00:27:49,208 --> 00:27:50,958
Oh, touch and go, I'd say.
435
00:27:50,958 --> 00:27:54,833
- I see. Thank you very much, Uncle.
- Robert.
436
00:27:56,833 --> 00:27:59,791
Robert, we're all governed by dead ideas,
437
00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:03,583
but when it comes to party programs,
an idea is not merely to be dead
438
00:28:03,583 --> 00:28:07,291
but to have lost all meaning before
there's any chance of being adopted.
439
00:28:07,375 --> 00:28:09,083
Not real enthusiasm.
440
00:28:10,250 --> 00:28:11,583
Remember that, my boy.
441
00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:14,833
It'll get you absolutely nowhere.
442
00:28:15,458 --> 00:28:18,125
A hundred and four pounds,
two and eight pence for today's total.
443
00:28:18,791 --> 00:28:21,333
Well above average
for this time of year, hmm?
444
00:28:21,333 --> 00:28:24,666
Well, sleep well, my boy.
You can pay me back in the morning.
445
00:28:26,750 --> 00:28:28,875
- Good night, Uncle.
- Good night, Robert.
446
00:29:09,583 --> 00:29:11,666
Part of the show, sir.
447
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,125
Couple of Americans
in the Queen Elizabeth room tonight, sir.
448
00:29:15,125 --> 00:29:17,125
So we're laying on all the trimmings.
449
00:29:17,750 --> 00:29:19,875
Bringing a cup of tea at 7:30.
450
00:29:20,708 --> 00:29:22,541
Good night, Mr. Robert.
451
00:29:44,291 --> 00:29:46,125
"Carry your bag, ma'am?"
452
00:29:46,125 --> 00:29:49,625
This is how the Earndale Express,
which is the local left-wing paper,
453
00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:52,291
features the little incident
earlier in the week.
454
00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,458
"TV galahad comes to Earndale."
455
00:29:56,083 --> 00:29:59,750
Needless to say, the Earndale Advertiser
is the right-wing paper
456
00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,541
which takes an exactly opposite view.
457
00:30:03,333 --> 00:30:04,541
Well, viewers, as I said,
458
00:30:04,625 --> 00:30:06,958
today's nomination day
in the Earndale by-election,
459
00:30:06,958 --> 00:30:08,083
and at any moment now,
460
00:30:08,083 --> 00:30:11,125
the candidates will be handing in
their papers together with their deposits
461
00:30:11,125 --> 00:30:14,083
and...
Oh, and there's a car coming here now.
462
00:30:17,250 --> 00:30:19,791
Yes, it's Bob Wilcot, the Tory candidate.
463
00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:23,500
How does it feel to be a Tory candidate,
Mr. Wilcot?
464
00:30:23,500 --> 00:30:24,666
Absolutely splendid.
465
00:30:24,750 --> 00:30:27,458
I expect you find all this very different
from the panel game, eh, sir?
466
00:30:27,458 --> 00:30:29,083
Oh, well, yes, I do, but...
467
00:30:29,083 --> 00:30:31,250
Well, I'm sure
I shall find the right answers here too.
468
00:30:38,625 --> 00:30:40,916
I see your opponent, Miss Stoker,
has just arrived.
469
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,250
See if you can get her, Jack.
470
00:30:42,250 --> 00:30:45,375
Would you care to say anything about
the little incident earlier in the week?
471
00:30:45,375 --> 00:30:46,583
Would you like to say a few words,
Miss Stoker.
472
00:30:46,583 --> 00:30:49,875
I would just like to say this.
A rather clumsy attempt has been made
473
00:30:49,875 --> 00:30:52,375
to take advantage of a perfectly
ordinary piece of good manners,
474
00:30:52,375 --> 00:30:54,166
but I bear no malice whatsoever.
475
00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:57,000
I intend to fight this election
without mudslinging
476
00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,541
in a true sporting spirit of fair play.
477
00:30:59,625 --> 00:31:01,000
- Bravo, bravo.
- Bravo!
478
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:02,833
That's the idea. Put them in the wrong.
479
00:31:02,833 --> 00:31:06,625
- Have you any comment, Miss Stoker?
- I certainly have.
480
00:31:07,625 --> 00:31:10,458
What is a true sporting spirit?
481
00:31:11,083 --> 00:31:13,875
I don't know and neither does he.
482
00:31:14,541 --> 00:31:19,750
It's simply a meaningless catchphrase,
a piece of... immature political goo.
483
00:31:20,875 --> 00:31:22,125
As for mudslinging...
484
00:31:22,750 --> 00:31:26,375
Mud can only be slung where there's any
to sling, and where there's mud to sling,
485
00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:31,458
I assure Mr. Wilcot that I intend
to sling it in no uncertain manner.
486
00:31:32,666 --> 00:31:34,666
And I hope some of it sticks.
487
00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:39,208
I may be young, I may be inexperienced,
I may be a woman,
488
00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:41,708
but let me tell you, I am a professional.
489
00:31:56,750 --> 00:32:01,083
...Earndale was a walking burrow
controlled by Wilcot.
490
00:32:01,666 --> 00:32:05,375
Now, we have the last of the line here
pretending to be a local man when...
491
00:32:05,375 --> 00:32:10,083
Let me tell you, he hasn't seen Earndale
since he was eight.
492
00:32:10,083 --> 00:32:15,625
No, Mr. Wilcot, this is not cricket
but war to the knife.
493
00:32:16,208 --> 00:32:17,750
- Hear, hear!
- Bravo, bravo!
494
00:32:22,875 --> 00:32:24,166
Come along, Wilcot.
495
00:32:25,875 --> 00:32:27,333
- Well, come along!
- Hmm?
496
00:32:27,333 --> 00:32:30,083
- The nomination, you know.
- Yes.
497
00:32:34,833 --> 00:32:35,916
- [Harding-
- Pratt] If she wants war to the knife,
498
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,166
she shall have war to the knife.
499
00:32:37,250 --> 00:32:41,416
That and all. Carry the attack
to her. Don't you agree, Mr. Wilcot?
500
00:32:42,041 --> 00:32:43,708
Don't you agree, Mr. Wilcot?
501
00:32:43,708 --> 00:32:44,958
Hmm?
502
00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:49,125
Oh, yes. Yes, yes, rather, rather.
503
00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:51,625
If she wants the gloves off,
she shall have the gloves off.
504
00:32:51,625 --> 00:32:54,166
Here's to mud in our eye.
505
00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:57,041
Dig up all the information you can
about the girl, Peterson.
506
00:32:57,125 --> 00:32:58,125
Very well, HP.
507
00:32:58,791 --> 00:33:01,000
She was London School of Economics,
wasn't she?
508
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,416
That's always good for a crack,
why, I can't think.
509
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:04,625
Neither can I.
510
00:33:05,916 --> 00:33:07,291
How about fish?
511
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,000
- Fish?
- Her father is a fish merchant.
512
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,250
If Mr. Wilcot could work in
something about crying, stinking fish,
513
00:33:14,250 --> 00:33:15,875
it would go down rather well, I feel.
514
00:33:19,250 --> 00:33:21,583
Well, I mean, fish is always funny.
515
00:33:21,583 --> 00:33:24,416
Why? We all eat fish, don't we?
516
00:33:24,500 --> 00:33:29,375
How's this for a slogan, HP?
"The Labor Party is frying tonight."
517
00:33:30,125 --> 00:33:32,833
I think we should reserve that
for election day.
518
00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:37,750
Meanwhile, I'm sure you all agree
that we have a fine candidate
519
00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:41,208
even if we haven't made
one of the most fortunate of starts.
520
00:33:41,208 --> 00:33:45,041
Now, on to business. Peterson, will you
read out the rest of the week's program?
521
00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:47,333
Tomorrow,
at ten o'clock, press conference.
522
00:33:47,333 --> 00:33:49,416
Eleven o'clock, visit Warham House,
523
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:52,125
Mr. Wilcot will speak
to old-age pensioners.
524
00:33:52,125 --> 00:33:53,750
Television cameras will be laid on.
525
00:33:54,666 --> 00:33:57,083
12:30, lunch at Young Farmer's club.
526
00:33:57,083 --> 00:34:00,250
2:30 to four,
canvassing in South Street ward.
527
00:34:00,250 --> 00:34:03,541
Five o'clock, Smith
and Hendrix Factory. Six o'clock...
528
00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:05,750
return to base.
529
00:34:06,791 --> 00:34:08,541
...start of orders.
530
00:34:08,625 --> 00:34:11,458
Round the start of orders now.
531
00:34:11,458 --> 00:34:13,916
...line... and they're off!
532
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,500
Good afternoon, everybody.
533
00:34:16,500 --> 00:34:21,583
In a moment, Robert Wilcot,
your Conservative candidate,
534
00:34:21,583 --> 00:34:25,375
will be walking down the street
to show himself to you
535
00:34:25,375 --> 00:34:31,250
and...many of you
who would like to meet him. Thank you.
536
00:34:34,291 --> 00:34:37,041
Our canvases have marked
the likely names and addresses.
537
00:34:37,125 --> 00:34:39,208
Put down a C if they'll vote for you,
538
00:34:39,208 --> 00:34:41,583
S for Socialist, and D for doubtful.
539
00:34:41,583 --> 00:34:43,541
C for me, S for her.
540
00:34:43,625 --> 00:34:46,291
D for doubtful.
541
00:34:46,375 --> 00:34:48,916
I'll drift along behind and winkle them
out with the old voice box,
542
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:50,833
- alright?
- Alright.
543
00:34:53,291 --> 00:34:56,583
Your candidate Bob Wilcot of TV fame
544
00:34:56,583 --> 00:35:00,333
is now walking down this street
to call on you.
545
00:35:00,333 --> 00:35:02,041
Vote for Wilcot.
546
00:35:02,125 --> 00:35:05,041
The man who knows exactly what he's doing.
547
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,250
- Mr. Reeves?
- Why don't you fit a blasted suppressor?
548
00:35:20,291 --> 00:35:21,833
Vote for Wilcot,
549
00:35:21,833 --> 00:35:25,625
the man who will stop at nothing
to defend your interest.
550
00:35:25,625 --> 00:35:27,583
Come on, here, on the side.
551
00:35:27,583 --> 00:35:29,291
There, how about that, eh? How...
552
00:35:33,458 --> 00:35:37,250
Vote for Wilcot,
the housewife's choice.
553
00:35:37,250 --> 00:35:38,458
Oh, Mrs. Maggs?
554
00:35:38,458 --> 00:35:40,041
Oh!
555
00:35:40,125 --> 00:35:43,083
Oh, I know you, don't I?
556
00:35:43,083 --> 00:35:44,916
- I know who you are.
- Oh, do you?
557
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:46,791
- You're Bobby Wilcot.
- That's right.
558
00:35:46,875 --> 00:35:49,291
- Now...
- Oh, I am pleased to see you.
559
00:35:49,375 --> 00:35:51,875
You look just like you do on the telly.
560
00:35:51,875 --> 00:35:53,458
- Do I?
- Yes.
561
00:35:53,458 --> 00:35:57,125
We turn you on every week.
Regular like clockwork.
562
00:35:57,125 --> 00:35:58,791
We wouldn't miss you for the world.
563
00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:02,291
We say you're just like one of the family.
564
00:36:02,958 --> 00:36:05,250
Oh, then I'm sure I can rely on your vote.
565
00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:08,583
Oh, no, I couldn't do that.
566
00:36:08,583 --> 00:36:12,083
- What?
- Oh no, I couldn't do anything like that.
567
00:36:12,083 --> 00:36:13,750
Mrs. Maggs!
568
00:36:14,708 --> 00:36:17,125
- Mrs. Maggs!
- I couldn't do a thing like that.
569
00:36:40,250 --> 00:36:42,000
Oh, Mr. Smithson?
570
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,750
May I introduce myself?
571
00:36:43,750 --> 00:36:45,750
I am your Conservative candidate.
572
00:36:47,291 --> 00:36:49,416
Yes, I'm Robert Wilcot.
573
00:36:50,458 --> 00:36:51,416
I see.
574
00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:56,125
Just showing myself to my supports,
you know.
575
00:36:57,250 --> 00:36:58,291
I see.
576
00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:02,625
Well, thank you very much.
577
00:37:19,250 --> 00:37:20,458
- [Harding-
- Pratt] Mr. Wilcot!
578
00:37:21,416 --> 00:37:23,708
You know we're due at the factory
in a couple of minutes.
579
00:37:24,416 --> 00:37:25,708
Yes.
580
00:37:28,375 --> 00:37:30,375
- Getting any results?
- Oh yes.
581
00:37:31,333 --> 00:37:32,666
Definitely.
582
00:37:35,125 --> 00:37:38,000
I've been working on one or two thoughts.
How's this for a point?
583
00:37:38,666 --> 00:37:42,458
"My fair opponent may have learned
at the London School of Economics
584
00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:45,250
how many red herrings make five.
585
00:37:45,250 --> 00:37:49,750
That seems no reason for introducing
Billingsgate methods into this contest."
586
00:37:49,750 --> 00:37:52,083
- Pretty good, hmm?
- Yes, but...
587
00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:53,875
How do we have to be so personal?
588
00:37:53,875 --> 00:37:55,958
Well, she started it, didn't she?
589
00:37:56,583 --> 00:38:00,500
I feel "how many red herrings make five"
is a particularly happy touch.
590
00:38:02,416 --> 00:38:05,916
We'll reserve it for your uncle's
hustings. Oh, here we are.
591
00:38:06,916 --> 00:38:08,583
Hello, everybody.
592
00:38:08,583 --> 00:38:13,416
Here is your Conservative candidate
Robert Wilcot to speak to you.
593
00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:22,375
Well, here we are.
You speak from the Land Rover.
594
00:38:22,375 --> 00:38:23,958
- Thank you, Mr. Egerton.
- Good day, Mrs. Samson.
595
00:38:23,958 --> 00:38:25,625
- Good day, Mr. Harding-
- Pratt.
596
00:38:26,708 --> 00:38:28,375
Autographs after the meeting.
Thank you, madam.
597
00:38:28,375 --> 00:38:32,375
Now don't get everybody nervous. You just
relax, imagine you're on television.
598
00:38:34,125 --> 00:38:36,208
- My friends.
- Hello, Bobby boy!
599
00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:41,375
My friends,
I feel I can call you that because...
600
00:38:41,375 --> 00:38:45,250
after all, I have appeared
in so many of your homes.
601
00:38:46,500 --> 00:38:50,791
In fact, when I leave here, I hope that
nobody will turn to his neighbor and say,
602
00:38:50,875 --> 00:38:52,291
"What on earth was that?"
603
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:59,375
Well, I have come here
so that I can see you and...
604
00:38:59,375 --> 00:39:02,375
so that you can see
what sort of a fellow I am.
605
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,291
Now, what is the policy that I stand for?
606
00:39:05,375 --> 00:39:07,083
Vote Labor!
607
00:39:08,291 --> 00:39:13,541
Gather round, lads and lassies,
and listen to your Labor candidate.
608
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,333
What you mean by trespassing
on our territory?
609
00:39:17,333 --> 00:39:18,875
Trespassing, old dear? This is our pitch.
610
00:39:18,875 --> 00:39:22,208
- It's in our program. Time and place.
- Free country, isn't it?
611
00:39:22,208 --> 00:39:25,000
Do you realize that without some sort of
elementary give and take,
612
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:26,833
the whole thing will become
an absolute shambles!
613
00:39:26,833 --> 00:39:29,583
Oh, that's right, clog.
You give way, we take your place.
614
00:39:30,875 --> 00:39:32,250
We're not shifting an inch!
615
00:39:32,250 --> 00:39:34,333
Please yourself, old darling,
please yourself.
616
00:39:34,333 --> 00:39:40,250
Hello, everybody. This is Stella Stoker,
your only professional candidate.
617
00:39:42,250 --> 00:39:45,375
I don't know what you can think of me because...
618
00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:48,250
I've never been on a TV program.
619
00:39:49,041 --> 00:39:50,833
I've never been to the...
620
00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,375
- [Harding-
- Pratt] Carry on, Wilcot. Don't falter!
621
00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:55,833
- And I've only seen a penguin at the zoo.
- What is the policy that I stand for?
622
00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:58,708
I stand for free enterprise
623
00:39:58,708 --> 00:40:00,625
and I am not ashamed to having been
to the Antarctic.
624
00:40:08,583 --> 00:40:12,875
You, the electorate,
are therefore faced with a clear choice
625
00:40:12,875 --> 00:40:14,916
between my neighbor opponent and myself.
626
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:19,291
Fair play!
627
00:40:19,375 --> 00:40:21,250
Free speech!
628
00:40:21,250 --> 00:40:24,708
The eyes of the country
are upon Earndale at this moment.
629
00:40:24,708 --> 00:40:28,416
- Be British!
- ...problems of the working people...
630
00:40:29,666 --> 00:40:32,666
- The Conservative party...
- As for myself...
631
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:34,791
- tradition...
- I would no doubt...
632
00:40:34,875 --> 00:40:39,208
I am determined to make myself heard,
and nothing is going to stop me!
633
00:40:39,208 --> 00:40:41,208
Stop me!
634
00:40:42,208 --> 00:40:44,416
Carry on, Wilcot. It's all yours.
635
00:40:44,500 --> 00:40:47,041
What is the policy I stand for?
636
00:40:47,125 --> 00:40:48,916
Don't ask them, tell them!
637
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,833
Look at this, my friends!
638
00:40:50,833 --> 00:40:54,000
Sabotage! Are we gonna stand for sabotage?
639
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,541
No!
640
00:40:55,625 --> 00:40:58,666
Does he think he can shout us down?
641
00:40:58,750 --> 00:41:00,166
No!
642
00:41:05,083 --> 00:41:08,583
Loudspeaker or no loudspeaker, if this...
643
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:17,250
Vote Labor! Vote Labor!
644
00:41:17,250 --> 00:41:19,541
Freedom of speech!
645
00:41:28,875 --> 00:41:30,291
Silence!
646
00:41:32,166 --> 00:41:33,375
Thank you.
647
00:41:35,291 --> 00:41:39,250
To resume.
What is the policy that I stand for?
648
00:41:52,916 --> 00:41:57,458
The issues are therefore clear cut
as these two parties face each other.
649
00:41:57,458 --> 00:41:59,750
You, the electorate, are faced
650
00:42:00,500 --> 00:42:04,458
with a clear choice
between my Labor opponent and myself.
651
00:43:34,833 --> 00:43:36,541
Stella...
652
00:43:45,583 --> 00:43:49,250
"I'm not saying that Mr. Wilcot
couldn't manage to guess the right answer
653
00:43:49,250 --> 00:43:51,375
in some daft panel game
654
00:43:51,375 --> 00:43:54,125
or cure a penguin of a sick headache,
655
00:43:54,125 --> 00:43:57,708
but will that pay the rent
for a single old-age pensioner?"
656
00:43:57,708 --> 00:43:59,250
How is that, Stell?
657
00:43:59,875 --> 00:44:02,708
Do we have to go on
being personal all the time?
658
00:44:02,708 --> 00:44:06,250
Well, that's the whole idea of hustings.
Slanging match.
659
00:44:06,250 --> 00:44:07,875
"Cure a penguin of a sick headache."
660
00:44:08,958 --> 00:44:12,000
One of my best bombos,
although I say it myself.
661
00:44:20,083 --> 00:44:25,041
It is now my pleasure
to present to you Miss Stella Stoker,
662
00:44:25,166 --> 00:44:26,708
the Labor candidate.
663
00:44:26,708 --> 00:44:30,583
Mr. Wilcot may be able
to cure a sick penguin...
664
00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:33,750
Anyway, I'm sure he'd try and...
665
00:44:33,750 --> 00:44:36,875
we all know
what brilliant guesses he makes on TV.
666
00:44:37,583 --> 00:44:41,750
But will this help
a single old-age pensioner?
667
00:44:41,750 --> 00:44:47,291
Oh, I know he wants to help them,
but I mean, well... will it?
668
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:54,625
My fair opponent may have learned
how many red herrings make five
669
00:44:54,625 --> 00:44:56,166
at the London School of Economics
670
00:44:56,958 --> 00:44:59,625
and all credit to her
for having made her way there
671
00:44:59,625 --> 00:45:00,875
entirely through her own efforts.
672
00:45:00,875 --> 00:45:01,875
Hey?
673
00:45:01,875 --> 00:45:05,041
But that is no reason
for resorting to Billingsgate methods.
674
00:45:05,666 --> 00:45:11,416
Though I am sure they are being forced
upon her by others less scrupulous.
675
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:17,375
Well, now, it's time we came
to the question of policy.
676
00:45:17,375 --> 00:45:20,333
What my party intends to do.
677
00:45:20,333 --> 00:45:23,375
What I intend to do if I'm elected.
678
00:45:23,375 --> 00:45:26,083
Uh, I beg your pardon. I mean...
679
00:45:26,083 --> 00:45:28,000
when I am elected.
680
00:45:31,416 --> 00:45:32,791
Psst!
681
00:45:33,708 --> 00:45:35,583
Thank you! Thank you. Thank you.
682
00:45:36,708 --> 00:45:39,166
- Latest figures, my Lord.
- Yes, Hardy.
683
00:45:39,250 --> 00:45:42,875
Car park, 25 pounds ten,
coaches, 67 pounds,
684
00:45:42,875 --> 00:45:45,583
bicycles, 12 pounds 15.
685
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:48,333
That's an all-time record to date,
my Lord.
686
00:45:48,333 --> 00:45:50,250
Good man, Hardy. Keep me posted.
687
00:45:52,666 --> 00:45:56,875
To resume, it is my sincere belief
688
00:45:56,875 --> 00:46:02,666
that our program cannot be approached
by that of any other political party.
689
00:46:03,416 --> 00:46:05,958
And when I have outlined
that program to you,
690
00:46:05,958 --> 00:46:09,666
I feel confident
that you will agree with me.
691
00:46:10,833 --> 00:46:13,958
Item one, housing.
692
00:46:13,958 --> 00:46:16,833
Here, here. Housing.
693
00:46:20,625 --> 00:46:23,125
Thank you, my boy. Thank you indeed.
694
00:46:23,125 --> 00:46:24,416
A top old speech.
695
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:28,083
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
question time will come later.
696
00:46:28,083 --> 00:46:31,750
In the meantime, there will be an interval
for the splendid self-service teas
697
00:46:31,750 --> 00:46:32,791
in the Priory cellars.
698
00:46:32,875 --> 00:46:36,708
And don't forget that both candidates
at 4:50 precisely
699
00:46:36,708 --> 00:46:40,458
will be visiting the magnificent sideshows
provided for your entertainment.
700
00:46:40,458 --> 00:46:43,208
That's all. Off you go. Enjoy yourselves.
701
00:46:43,208 --> 00:46:45,500
Item one... housing!
702
00:46:47,375 --> 00:46:49,708
Alright, then. Item two...
703
00:46:51,958 --> 00:46:54,375
{\an8}Come along now.
Roll up, roll up.
704
00:46:54,375 --> 00:46:56,541
{\an8}Here's your chance to silence The Speaker
705
00:46:56,625 --> 00:46:59,458
or puncture
the Chancellor of the Exchequer.
706
00:47:01,083 --> 00:47:02,958
Splendid shooting, my boy.
707
00:47:02,958 --> 00:47:05,000
He's winged the Prime Minister.
708
00:47:05,958 --> 00:47:08,500
Have another bob.
It's only a shilling a time.
709
00:47:08,500 --> 00:47:12,125
Come along now.
Demolish your political opponent.
710
00:47:12,125 --> 00:47:15,458
Three balls for sixpence
but seven for a shilling.
711
00:47:16,125 --> 00:47:20,166
Oh, bad luck, Miss Stoker!
Come along now, Robert. You have a go.
712
00:47:20,250 --> 00:47:21,666
This is an absolute rap, Uncle.
713
00:47:21,750 --> 00:47:23,500
Yes, isn't it wonderful?
714
00:47:23,500 --> 00:47:25,500
Down with the Tories!
715
00:47:29,666 --> 00:47:33,541
Walk up, walk up, and solve
the mystery of the Westminster Maze.
716
00:47:33,625 --> 00:47:38,000
All you have to do is test your
political know-how by finding your way in
717
00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:42,291
and then finding your way out again.
That's all. Robert, my boy. Forward.
718
00:47:43,041 --> 00:47:45,041
- Have you no shame at all, Uncle?
- Hmm?
719
00:47:45,583 --> 00:47:47,708
Not... Not enough to notice.
720
00:47:47,708 --> 00:47:49,458
But seriously, Robert,
you ought to have a go.
721
00:47:49,458 --> 00:47:51,458
It's a remarkably ingenious bit
of designing.
722
00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:54,291
It was built by my great grandfather
as a refuge.
723
00:47:54,375 --> 00:47:56,541
From my great-grandmother.
And it worked too.
724
00:47:56,625 --> 00:47:58,416
I want to get back onto the platform!
725
00:47:58,500 --> 00:48:01,250
Robert, Robert, the filly is approaching
the starting gate.
726
00:48:01,250 --> 00:48:03,250
Are you going to stay in the paddock?
727
00:48:05,958 --> 00:48:08,666
She'd waste it in politics, that girl.
728
00:48:09,500 --> 00:48:13,708
Oh, if I were only... let me see now,
45 years younger.
729
00:48:20,875 --> 00:48:24,791
I better go in with him. I'm seriously
concerned about his fighting spirit.
730
00:48:24,875 --> 00:48:26,666
You stay with his Lordship
and heaven's sake,
731
00:48:26,750 --> 00:48:28,958
keep the old boy off the parsnip wine.
732
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:41,791
- Wilcot! Are you feeling tired?
- No.
733
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:44,541
A little below par perhaps?
I thought it showed in your speech.
734
00:48:44,625 --> 00:48:46,708
You know, you did my piece
about the five red herrings
735
00:48:46,708 --> 00:48:48,916
rather less than justice, if I may say so.
736
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:50,625
After all, the campaign had...
737
00:48:53,583 --> 00:48:56,083
Wilcot! Wilcot!
738
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,208
Wilcot!
739
00:49:11,250 --> 00:49:12,916
But I'm worried about you, Stella.
740
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,583
I tell you, I'm perfectly alright.
741
00:49:14,583 --> 00:49:17,541
Well, you ruined that bit
about the penguin with a sick headache.
742
00:49:17,625 --> 00:49:20,083
I wish you'd stop carping
and try to find a way out.
743
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:22,666
But it is my job to--
Stella! Wait a minute!
744
00:49:24,458 --> 00:49:25,666
Stella!
745
00:49:29,291 --> 00:49:31,291
- Lost?
- Certainly not.
746
00:49:31,375 --> 00:49:33,375
Oh, in that case, you can tell me
which is the right way.
747
00:49:33,375 --> 00:49:35,666
- I have no idea.
- Oh, then you must be lost.
748
00:49:35,750 --> 00:49:38,166
- I'm nothing of the kind.
- You are, obviously.
749
00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:40,833
Perhaps if we sort of
work this thing out together.
750
00:49:40,833 --> 00:49:43,666
You know perfectly well
I can't talk to you.
751
00:49:43,750 --> 00:49:47,125
Anyway, I don't want to,
so please don't follow me.
752
00:49:47,833 --> 00:49:49,916
No intention of doing anything
of the kind.
753
00:49:50,458 --> 00:49:52,958
- -[Harding-
- Pratt] Wilcot!
- Oh, shut up.
754
00:50:02,250 --> 00:50:03,458
Wilcot!
755
00:50:12,458 --> 00:50:14,750
Must you dog my footsteps?
756
00:50:14,750 --> 00:50:16,416
I'm not dogging anybody.
757
00:50:17,083 --> 00:50:19,791
Just trying to find my way
out of this blasted place.
758
00:50:21,083 --> 00:50:22,875
Why can't you be civil?
759
00:50:27,458 --> 00:50:28,750
Oh, Miss Stoker.
760
00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:33,666
I think you're absolutely
bloody marvelous.
761
00:50:35,041 --> 00:50:37,041
I can't think of anything else but you.
762
00:50:37,125 --> 00:50:40,166
I know I shouldn't say it but...
well, there you are, I've said it.
763
00:50:40,250 --> 00:50:41,875
- You must be mad.
- Oh, I am.
764
00:50:41,875 --> 00:50:44,500
I know it doesn't
make any sense politically.
765
00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:46,666
In fact, carried through
to its logical conclusions,
766
00:50:46,750 --> 00:50:49,625
this sort of thing would make
party divisions utterly meaningless.
767
00:50:50,166 --> 00:50:51,958
But the fact of the matter is
768
00:50:52,958 --> 00:50:57,583
I am completely besotted with you,
and it's unhinging my whole campaign.
769
00:50:57,583 --> 00:50:59,333
Oh, and I can't stay here.
770
00:50:59,333 --> 00:51:02,041
- I can't.
- I know you won't believe this, but...
771
00:51:02,125 --> 00:51:04,208
well, it's just like it said
in your magazine.
772
00:51:04,916 --> 00:51:06,625
Everything sort of stopped.
773
00:51:06,625 --> 00:51:09,416
I heard a gentle tintinnabulation.
774
00:51:10,541 --> 00:51:14,208
- You too?
- Hmm. Oh, must have been a delusion, of...
775
00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:16,166
What?
776
00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:22,083
Stella. Oh, Stella.
777
00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:42,666
Stella!
778
00:51:46,666 --> 00:51:48,666
Mr. Wilcot, what have you done?
779
00:51:55,125 --> 00:51:56,833
And I'm the one who's gonna do it.
780
00:51:56,833 --> 00:51:59,583
I'll teach the Tories
to nominate a sex maniac
781
00:51:59,583 --> 00:52:01,875
for a respectable seat like Earndale.
782
00:52:01,875 --> 00:52:04,541
No wonder they had to send him
to the Antarctic.
783
00:52:04,625 --> 00:52:06,791
Heaven knows what he'd be like
in a heatwave.
784
00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:10,625
He won't dare to show his face
in decent society after this.
785
00:52:10,625 --> 00:52:12,541
He won't even be able
to show it on television.
786
00:52:13,291 --> 00:52:15,250
- No, Bert.
- What?
787
00:52:15,250 --> 00:52:19,625
I don't want anything said or done.
I just want to forget about it.
788
00:52:20,583 --> 00:52:23,625
- I mean it, Bert.
- Stella, my girl.
789
00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:24,833
Are you trying to tell me--
790
00:52:24,833 --> 00:52:27,375
I just said I wanted to forget about it.
791
00:52:27,375 --> 00:52:29,625
Course turn the crows.
792
00:52:29,625 --> 00:52:31,708
Then I did see what I thought I saw.
793
00:52:32,416 --> 00:52:33,958
Well, this is horrible.
794
00:52:34,458 --> 00:52:37,583
Not only horrible, I...
don't think it's ever happened before.
795
00:52:38,291 --> 00:52:41,708
If we was all to behave like this, what
would happen to parliamentary government?
796
00:52:42,208 --> 00:52:45,208
- That's what he said.
- I don't care what he said!
797
00:52:45,208 --> 00:52:46,750
I don't want to know!
798
00:52:47,458 --> 00:52:51,333
I'm not at all sure you haven't destroyed
my faith in human nature.
799
00:52:52,166 --> 00:52:54,583
I understand how you feel, Bert.
800
00:52:54,583 --> 00:52:56,958
I'm shaken rigid, that's the truth.
801
00:52:56,958 --> 00:53:02,166
I know I gave way to a stupid impulse
but... only for a moment.
802
00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:04,416
I promise it won't happen again, ever.
803
00:53:04,916 --> 00:53:07,333
I want to fight this election
as if nothing had happened
804
00:53:07,333 --> 00:53:09,375
and we'll win it, Bert, you'll see!
805
00:53:09,375 --> 00:53:11,375
You mean it's war to the knife again?
806
00:53:11,375 --> 00:53:12,458
War to the knife.
807
00:53:12,458 --> 00:53:14,958
And no holds barred? No quarter?
808
00:53:14,958 --> 00:53:17,041
- No quarter.
- You sure about that?
809
00:53:17,666 --> 00:53:19,750
Well, of course, I'm sure.
What do you take me for?
810
00:53:19,750 --> 00:53:20,666
- Well, I mean...
- Do you think
811
00:53:20,750 --> 00:53:22,041
I have
no sense of responsibility?
812
00:53:22,125 --> 00:53:24,541
- Well, don't get excited.
- You think I'm not shamed?
813
00:53:24,625 --> 00:53:28,708
- Alright.
- Do you think I can't control myself?
814
00:53:39,500 --> 00:53:41,666
...part from my darling ♪
815
00:53:41,750 --> 00:53:42,958
Wilcot!
816
00:53:42,958 --> 00:53:44,333
Just a minute!
817
00:53:44,333 --> 00:53:48,041
I dream of her everywhere ♪
818
00:53:48,125 --> 00:53:50,750
- Sing.
- The sound of her voice ♪
819
00:53:50,750 --> 00:53:54,250
♪ Is about me
The spell of her presence is there ♪
820
00:53:54,250 --> 00:53:55,750
- [Harding-
- Pratt] Oh, not another!
821
00:53:59,291 --> 00:54:03,416
Will follow me 'til I die ♪
822
00:54:03,500 --> 00:54:04,958
Hello, my dear chap, Where have you been?
823
00:54:04,958 --> 00:54:06,916
Someone had to invent some reason
824
00:54:07,000 --> 00:54:09,000
why neither candidate returned
to the platform.
825
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,500
And then I find you singing in your bath.
Actually singing!
826
00:54:11,500 --> 00:54:13,458
I'm terribly sorry,
but it just slipped out.
827
00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:14,750
Singing!
828
00:54:14,750 --> 00:54:16,833
After behavior better suited to the...
829
00:54:16,833 --> 00:54:18,916
shadier streets of Naples?
830
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:22,333
Oh, don't you realize? This might
lead to the most ghastly scandal.
831
00:54:22,333 --> 00:54:24,833
That girl is as clever
as a wagonload of monkeys.
832
00:54:25,416 --> 00:54:28,125
I must ask you to be very careful indeed
833
00:54:28,125 --> 00:54:29,458
how you speak of Miss Stoker.
834
00:54:29,458 --> 00:54:31,833
Oh, really! What about the party?
835
00:54:31,833 --> 00:54:33,125
When is it?
836
00:54:33,125 --> 00:54:35,875
What about the electors? What about me?
837
00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:38,708
Well, I suppose it's only natural
- that you should flap a bit, Harding-
- Pratt,
838
00:54:38,708 --> 00:54:40,125
not knowing the sort of fellow
I really am.
839
00:54:40,125 --> 00:54:42,083
- What?
- I admit that my feelings
840
00:54:42,083 --> 00:54:43,708
got the better of me this afternoon.
841
00:54:43,708 --> 00:54:46,333
But I can assure you
that it will not occur again.
842
00:54:46,333 --> 00:54:48,250
I thought the matter over very carefully
843
00:54:48,250 --> 00:54:51,083
and I have decided,
in the interest of the party,
844
00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:55,291
that I shall not see Miss Stoker again
until immediately after I am elected.
845
00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:57,041
- You really mean that?
- I do.
846
00:54:57,125 --> 00:54:58,708
- And you won't go back on it?
- Never.
847
00:54:58,708 --> 00:55:02,041
And you really will put your heart
and soul into this campaign?
848
00:55:02,125 --> 00:55:03,333
Definitely.
849
00:55:03,333 --> 00:55:06,708
Wilcot, you've taken an enormous weight
off my mind.
850
00:55:06,708 --> 00:55:07,833
Come in.
851
00:55:09,458 --> 00:55:12,291
I'm sorry, sir. The lady sent them back.
Wouldn't take them in.
852
00:55:12,375 --> 00:55:14,125
Oh, well, um... Never mind.
853
00:55:15,791 --> 00:55:17,541
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you, sir.
854
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:22,000
Wilcot, you didn't
send those flowers to her!
855
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:23,250
Well, only anonymously.
856
00:55:23,250 --> 00:55:26,000
Only anonymously! She knew
where to send them back, didn't she?
857
00:55:26,000 --> 00:55:29,958
Sending flowers to your opponent?
This is callow, this want riot.
858
00:55:29,958 --> 00:55:32,750
What next, I ask myself. What next?
859
00:55:32,750 --> 00:55:34,708
And what's that doing there?
860
00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:39,833
Well... Montgomery had a photograph
of Rommel in his caravan, didn't he?
861
00:55:40,500 --> 00:55:44,708
Wilcot, I'm overcome with a feeling
of almost ludicrous inadequacy.
862
00:55:44,708 --> 00:55:46,833
I have given you my word...
863
00:55:48,125 --> 00:55:49,625
Hello?
864
00:55:50,416 --> 00:55:52,166
- Hello--
- It's probably the press.
865
00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,500
We must appear absolutely nonchalant.
866
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:59,208
Hello. Yes, speaking. Who?
867
00:56:00,916 --> 00:56:02,583
It's that fellow Glimmer.
868
00:56:02,583 --> 00:56:05,708
Blackmail, no doubt.
I better go straight over to the attack.
869
00:56:06,333 --> 00:56:09,916
Hey, Glimmer. Well, I take it
you're calling me with an apology.
870
00:56:10,791 --> 00:56:12,666
What do you mean, "Come off it?"
871
00:56:14,625 --> 00:56:17,041
Oh. Oh, you think so, do you?
872
00:56:18,625 --> 00:56:21,833
Well, I... I might. It depends.
873
00:56:24,916 --> 00:56:26,250
What time?
874
00:56:27,916 --> 00:56:29,083
Where?
875
00:56:31,166 --> 00:56:32,333
Wait for me, will you?
876
00:56:56,166 --> 00:56:57,833
A Scotch, please.
877
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:02,125
- Well?
- This is a very nasty business.
878
00:57:02,125 --> 00:57:04,291
I hope you told your candidate so.
879
00:57:04,375 --> 00:57:06,833
What do you mean? Yours assaulted mine.
880
00:57:06,833 --> 00:57:08,541
I have no wish to be indelicate,
881
00:57:08,625 --> 00:57:11,416
but I distinctly saw yours
returning the pressure.
882
00:57:11,500 --> 00:57:14,500
Look, suppose that we drop this,
old sport? We're both in a spot.
883
00:57:14,500 --> 00:57:17,250
I agree with you, just this once.
884
00:57:17,250 --> 00:57:20,375
The truth is, there's no room for a ruddy
Romeo and Juliet in the by-election.
885
00:57:20,375 --> 00:57:22,625
Quite. If this obscene canker spreads,
886
00:57:22,625 --> 00:57:24,958
it'll make a mockery
of the House of Commons.
887
00:57:24,958 --> 00:57:26,583
- That's what he said.
- Who?
888
00:57:26,583 --> 00:57:28,000
- Yours.
- Mine?
889
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,041
Well, he's a fine one to talk.
890
00:57:30,125 --> 00:57:32,000
Mine's gone completely broody.
891
00:57:32,541 --> 00:57:34,958
In my opinion,
women and politics simply don't mix.
892
00:57:34,958 --> 00:57:37,708
Well, I fear just the same about amateurs.
893
00:57:37,708 --> 00:57:39,750
After all, we're the pros, old man.
894
00:57:39,750 --> 00:57:41,291
We're the ones who get them in.
895
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:43,666
Not that we're ever appreciated.
896
00:57:43,750 --> 00:57:46,166
They just don't know, HP, they don't know.
897
00:57:46,250 --> 00:57:47,875
You don't mind if I call you HP?
898
00:57:48,666 --> 00:57:50,916
No, of course not, um... Bert.
899
00:57:51,833 --> 00:57:54,666
HP, this flaming romance
has got to be nipped in the bud.
900
00:57:54,750 --> 00:57:56,083
Yes, but how?
901
00:57:56,083 --> 00:57:57,291
Turn them against each other?
902
00:57:57,375 --> 00:58:00,500
That'll take some doing. Sickening couple.
903
00:58:01,166 --> 00:58:03,083
We could do with an old flame.
904
00:58:03,083 --> 00:58:06,208
The old infernal triangle,
if you'll pardon the clitch.
905
00:58:08,166 --> 00:58:10,541
Or better still, a quadrangle.
906
00:58:11,250 --> 00:58:12,666
By gosh, you're right!
907
00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:15,083
- What?
- I just remembered something. Bert,
908
00:58:15,083 --> 00:58:17,208
you and I have got to go into partnership.
909
00:58:18,500 --> 00:58:20,083
Steady on, old man.
910
00:58:20,083 --> 00:58:22,666
There's a nasty turn coming out
with a thing like that.
911
00:58:25,250 --> 00:58:28,833
"Arriving this afternoon,
2:45 p.m. train.
912
00:58:28,833 --> 00:58:31,833
Wildly excited, darling. Annabel."
913
00:58:31,833 --> 00:58:35,833
Annabel? I say, HP, we can't have this.
We must stop her at once!
914
00:58:36,916 --> 00:58:38,041
- [Harding-
- Pratt] Too late.
915
00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:47,375
I still think someone else
should meet Annabel
916
00:58:47,375 --> 00:58:49,625
and push her right back again
on the first train to London.
917
00:58:49,625 --> 00:58:52,500
From what you've told me yourself,
she's a well-known model
918
00:58:52,500 --> 00:58:55,041
and the rebuff might attract
the worst kind of publicity.
919
00:58:55,125 --> 00:58:58,000
I don't want to see Annabel at all,
especially wildly excited.
920
00:59:04,291 --> 00:59:05,916
Bobby!
921
00:59:09,041 --> 00:59:11,208
- Darling!
- Oh.
922
00:59:11,208 --> 00:59:12,791
You got here, then, Annabel.
923
00:59:12,875 --> 00:59:15,208
Of course. I came the minute I heard.
924
00:59:15,875 --> 00:59:16,958
Heard?
925
00:59:16,958 --> 00:59:19,333
How do you do, Miss Brentwood?
- I am Christopher Harding-
- Pratt.
926
00:59:19,333 --> 00:59:21,166
So pleased.
927
00:59:21,250 --> 00:59:24,916
Well, darling, are you collecting
a lovely lot of delicious votes?
928
00:59:25,833 --> 00:59:28,333
I thought you said
the press want to be told.
929
00:59:28,333 --> 00:59:32,125
Peterson, Peterson!
How on earth did this happen?
930
00:59:32,125 --> 00:59:33,916
I did my best, HP.
931
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,666
I'm sure you did.
932
00:59:35,750 --> 00:59:37,166
This way, Miss Brentwood.
933
00:59:40,541 --> 00:59:41,750
Sir!
934
00:59:44,708 --> 00:59:47,458
Would you care to say a few words
on this romantic occasion?
935
00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:48,791
This what?
936
00:59:48,875 --> 00:59:50,041
Romantic occasion.
937
00:59:50,125 --> 00:59:51,958
How did you ever guess?
938
00:59:53,375 --> 00:59:55,458
What's going on here?
939
00:59:55,458 --> 00:59:57,291
- Shh! We're transmitting.
- We're what?
940
00:59:57,375 --> 00:59:59,083
Oh, are we really?
941
00:59:59,083 --> 01:00:01,291
Are you pleased to see Miss Brentwood,
Mr. Wilcot?
942
01:00:01,375 --> 01:00:04,166
- Am I pleased?
- Is he pleased!
943
01:00:04,250 --> 01:00:06,083
And how does it feel, Miss Brentwood,
944
01:00:06,083 --> 01:00:09,500
to stand by his side
in this exciting contest?
945
01:00:09,500 --> 01:00:12,666
I was thrilled to the absolute core
when he sent for me.
946
01:00:12,750 --> 01:00:14,125
Sent for you?
947
01:00:15,125 --> 01:00:17,041
Are you staying long?
948
01:00:17,125 --> 01:00:19,833
- No, just...
- Oh, yes, definitely.
949
01:00:19,833 --> 01:00:22,041
And are you expecting
an arduous campaign?
950
01:00:22,666 --> 01:00:24,458
Oh yes, very odd, yes.
951
01:00:24,458 --> 01:00:26,333
I see what you mean.
952
01:00:26,333 --> 01:00:29,791
So your visit is not entirely political,
Miss Brentwood?
953
01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:31,166
Oh, no.
954
01:00:31,250 --> 01:00:33,250
May we say definitely there is a romance?
955
01:00:33,250 --> 01:00:35,166
What do you say, darling?
956
01:00:35,250 --> 01:00:36,291
Well...
957
01:00:37,583 --> 01:00:39,666
Oh, Bobby, darling.
958
01:00:39,750 --> 01:00:41,125
- Stella.
- I'm sure that will be
959
01:00:41,125 --> 01:00:42,666
of great interest of yours.
960
01:00:42,750 --> 01:00:43,750
How'd the meeting go?
961
01:00:43,750 --> 01:00:46,708
First class. I think I was pretty good
as a matter of fact.
962
01:00:46,708 --> 01:00:49,625
There was a bit of heckling, but I might...
963
01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:51,416
Oh, Bobby, darling.
964
01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:55,375
May we expect an early announcement, sir?
965
01:00:55,375 --> 01:00:56,708
Announcement?
966
01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:58,166
Wedding bells.
967
01:00:58,250 --> 01:01:00,625
Shall we wait until after the election
968
01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:03,083
with a victory behind
these two young people,
969
01:01:03,083 --> 01:01:04,583
who knows?
970
01:01:06,583 --> 01:01:10,416
And now, after that charming
and romantic little surprise item,
971
01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:12,958
it's time to say "au revoir"
from Earndale.
972
01:01:13,583 --> 01:01:16,333
Well, who put the idea into Annabel's head
if you didn't?
973
01:01:16,333 --> 01:01:18,166
Oh, dear chap,
how can you suggest such a thing?
974
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:21,041
You told me yourself
you always called her the "eager beaver".
975
01:01:21,125 --> 01:01:23,500
So how did the television cameras
get there then?
976
01:01:23,500 --> 01:01:25,125
Somebody must have tipped them off.
977
01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:29,125
I'm gonna send her packing.
978
01:01:29,125 --> 01:01:30,875
She hasn't finished unpacking yet.
979
01:01:30,875 --> 01:01:33,583
All that nonsense about wedding bells.
There isn't any romance!
980
01:01:33,583 --> 01:01:35,500
I'm gonna say so publicly.
981
01:01:35,500 --> 01:01:37,875
If you do that, you will destroy
your chances in the election.
982
01:01:37,875 --> 01:01:40,000
The blazes with the election!
983
01:01:40,000 --> 01:01:42,625
I prefer to close my ears to that remark.
984
01:01:43,208 --> 01:01:44,416
I must warn you, Wilcot,
985
01:01:44,500 --> 01:01:48,708
publicly jilt that helpless trusting girl
and you become a social outcast.
986
01:01:50,416 --> 01:01:53,375
Never able to appear
on a panel game again.
987
01:01:55,500 --> 01:01:56,791
The car's waiting.
988
01:01:56,875 --> 01:01:59,291
We're already an hour behind
with your program.
989
01:02:00,916 --> 01:02:03,541
- You'll pay for this, Harding-
- Pratt.
990
01:02:04,375 --> 01:02:05,583
I doubt it.
991
01:02:16,166 --> 01:02:17,916
- Hello, Castle and Ball?
- Yes?
992
01:02:18,000 --> 01:02:20,166
Is Miss Stoker there, please?
I must talk to her.
993
01:02:20,250 --> 01:02:21,416
Who's this?
994
01:02:22,375 --> 01:02:23,833
Bert Glimmer.
995
01:02:23,833 --> 01:02:25,541
And make it snappy, will you, ducks?
996
01:02:25,625 --> 01:02:27,125
Oh, I'll try her room, Mr. Glimmer.
997
01:02:30,541 --> 01:02:31,625
Yes?
998
01:02:31,625 --> 01:02:33,833
- I want to talk to Miss Stoker.
- Who is that?
999
01:02:34,750 --> 01:02:35,750
Bert Glimmer.
1000
01:02:39,375 --> 01:02:40,541
What?
1001
01:02:40,625 --> 01:02:41,875
Look, put her on the line,
will you, old man?
1002
01:02:41,875 --> 01:02:44,333
Scarp's the word, quick's the action,
don't muck about.
1003
01:02:46,375 --> 01:02:48,916
The wee lass
is having a wee bit of rest
1004
01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:51,375
in her room, Mr. Glimmer.
1005
01:02:51,375 --> 01:02:53,333
Can I take a message?
1006
01:02:53,333 --> 01:02:55,041
Um... Who's that?
1007
01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:57,833
McAllister.
1008
01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:02,375
Ye can old Archie McAllister.
1009
01:03:02,958 --> 01:03:05,916
Oh, yes. Hello, Archie.
1010
01:03:06,000 --> 01:03:07,416
Can I take a message?
1011
01:03:07,500 --> 01:03:08,791
Um...
1012
01:03:08,875 --> 01:03:11,791
Surely,
you can trust your old friend Archie.
1013
01:03:13,583 --> 01:03:16,250
Alright, Archie. Well, listen carefully.
1014
01:03:16,250 --> 01:03:19,541
Tell Miss Stoker not to believe
all she hears about the other party.
1015
01:03:19,625 --> 01:03:21,291
He's been framed. It's a put-up job.
1016
01:03:21,375 --> 01:03:22,916
Uh-huh.
1017
01:03:27,333 --> 01:03:29,208
- Hello, Stella.
- Bill!
1018
01:03:29,875 --> 01:03:32,166
I can't tell you how glad I am to see you.
1019
01:03:32,250 --> 01:03:33,458
Hello?
1020
01:03:33,458 --> 01:03:35,750
Well, why didn't you tell me
you were coming?
1021
01:03:36,375 --> 01:03:37,916
Well, it was...
it was sort of short notice.
1022
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:38,875
Hello?
1023
01:03:38,875 --> 01:03:41,333
What's going on. Did you get that, Archie?
1024
01:03:41,333 --> 01:03:43,041
Yeah, I got it alright.
1025
01:03:43,125 --> 01:03:45,291
I'll take you down to reception.
They'll fix something.
1026
01:03:45,375 --> 01:03:47,458
Come on, Bill.
We've just time for a cup of tea.
1027
01:03:49,958 --> 01:03:51,458
Now you get this.
1028
01:03:51,458 --> 01:03:54,291
You'll be surprised to hear
the young lady's very heavily engaged
1029
01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:56,750
just now
with her old childhood sweetheart.
1030
01:03:56,750 --> 01:04:00,000
In fact, between you and I,
I'm feeling a bit detromped meself.
1031
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:02,625
But don't worry,
your secret's safe with me.
1032
01:04:02,625 --> 01:04:05,250
Silent is the gravest...
1033
01:04:05,250 --> 01:04:07,416
Cheery blimey, old cock sparrer.
1034
01:04:10,083 --> 01:04:13,625
You simply
must vote for Wilcot, everybody.
1035
01:04:13,625 --> 01:04:16,833
Do vote for Bobby, I mean, Wilcot.
1036
01:04:16,833 --> 01:04:18,833
Wilcot is too wonderful.
1037
01:04:19,416 --> 01:04:22,708
Wilcot is absolutely devers.
1038
01:04:24,875 --> 01:04:30,958
Are you going to vote
for a TV glamor boy, a panel puppet?
1039
01:04:30,958 --> 01:04:32,583
No, no!
1040
01:04:32,583 --> 01:04:34,041
Take it from me,
1041
01:04:34,125 --> 01:04:36,958
you can't trust a man like that an inch.
1042
01:04:38,375 --> 01:04:41,666
Mine's chock full of fighting spirit, HP.
How's yours?
1043
01:04:41,750 --> 01:04:43,958
Savage is the only word for him, Bert.
1044
01:04:43,958 --> 01:04:45,666
The boy's really getting mean.
1045
01:04:47,083 --> 01:04:51,791
I will not descend to the cheaper forms
of Billingsgate abuse
1046
01:04:51,875 --> 01:04:56,000
with which Miss Stoker seems
to be so very much at home,
1047
01:04:56,000 --> 01:04:57,791
but I warn her.
1048
01:04:57,875 --> 01:05:00,000
Billingsgate will boomerang.
1049
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,416
Yay!
1050
01:05:02,500 --> 01:05:06,333
With polling day only three days away,
things are really heating up.
1051
01:05:06,333 --> 01:05:10,833
The rival candidates seem to be fighting
it out in a spirit of bitter hostility.
1052
01:05:10,833 --> 01:05:13,666
Over now to Ronald Basings,
stoked at Earndale,
1053
01:05:13,750 --> 01:05:16,000
a town caught in the grip
of election fever
1054
01:05:16,000 --> 01:05:18,500
as the political temperature
rises to blood heat.
1055
01:05:18,500 --> 01:05:22,500
Would you like to tell the viewers what
you think of this exciting election, sir?
1056
01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:24,250
A bit of a lark, innit?
1057
01:05:24,250 --> 01:05:26,291
And who do you think will get in?
1058
01:05:27,250 --> 01:05:29,541
Don't make no odds either way, do it?
1059
01:05:30,250 --> 01:05:31,875
Thank you, Mr. Hornsbet.
1060
01:05:31,875 --> 01:05:33,500
Hornsby.
1061
01:05:33,500 --> 01:05:35,458
Thank you, Mr. Hornsby.
1062
01:05:36,750 --> 01:05:39,208
Vote Conservative. Remember,
1063
01:05:39,208 --> 01:05:43,291
a vote for the Socialists
is a vote for legalized robbery,
1064
01:05:43,375 --> 01:05:47,916
extortion, national extinction,
and reduced profits.
1065
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:51,291
A vote for Labor
is a vote for prosperity.
1066
01:05:51,875 --> 01:05:54,791
Vote for Stoker. She's the girl for you.
1067
01:05:54,875 --> 01:05:57,625
Tory means unemployment.
1068
01:05:57,625 --> 01:05:59,291
It means poverty!
1069
01:05:59,375 --> 01:06:03,458
It means destitution! It means starvation!
1070
01:06:04,750 --> 01:06:06,666
It means despair!
1071
01:06:07,333 --> 01:06:10,750
Vote for Wilcot and keep out Stoker!
1072
01:06:13,750 --> 01:06:17,791
Vote for Stoker and keep out Wilcot!
1073
01:06:17,875 --> 01:06:19,875
Whoever you vote for,
1074
01:06:20,625 --> 01:06:26,166
celebrate the result at my grand
Declaration of Poll party tomorrow night.
1075
01:06:26,791 --> 01:06:29,250
Mammoth firework display,
1076
01:06:29,250 --> 01:06:34,041
dancing on the greensward
to Alf Farthingale and his hot six.
1077
01:06:35,458 --> 01:06:37,291
Stella's doing fine, brother.
1078
01:06:37,375 --> 01:06:41,208
Turned out to be a first-class candidate
once I ironed out the headaches for her.
1079
01:06:50,041 --> 01:06:52,583
Don't worry,
we'll put down the red carpet for him.
1080
01:06:52,583 --> 01:06:55,375
Bye for now. Porton.
1081
01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:58,458
Lay on the cards, pick up
tonight's speaker off the 7:30 train.
1082
01:06:58,458 --> 01:07:00,416
Take him straight down
to St. Luke's School for the meeting.
1083
01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:01,333
Okay.
1084
01:07:02,541 --> 01:07:04,416
- Oh.
- Can I have a word, Mr. Glimmer?
1085
01:07:04,500 --> 01:07:05,791
Well, a little later.
I got an appointment now...
1086
01:07:05,875 --> 01:07:08,291
- Yeah, yeah, but I'm worried about Stella.
- Why?
1087
01:07:08,375 --> 01:07:12,291
- Well... I don't know how to put it, but...
- Well, come on.
1088
01:07:12,375 --> 01:07:16,125
Yeah. Well, she seems to be...
acting all the time.
1089
01:07:16,125 --> 01:07:19,041
Well, of course she is.
She's fighting an election, isn't she?
1090
01:07:28,708 --> 01:07:30,708
Hello, Bert. I thought you weren't coming.
1091
01:07:30,708 --> 01:07:33,333
Sorry. Got held up. I say!
1092
01:07:33,333 --> 01:07:37,041
Well, in view of all our trials and tribs,
I thought champs was indicated.
1093
01:07:37,125 --> 01:07:38,458
Well, I'm all for a spot of inflation.
1094
01:07:38,458 --> 01:07:41,166
Just a little gesture
on the eve of pearling day.
1095
01:07:41,250 --> 01:07:42,625
Well, very nice too.
1096
01:07:42,625 --> 01:07:44,166
Pop goes old Romeo and Juliet.
1097
01:07:44,250 --> 01:07:46,916
And a very good thing too.
Here, I'll give you a toast.
1098
01:07:47,000 --> 01:07:48,916
A plague on both their houses.
1099
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,041
With brass trimmings.
1100
01:07:52,166 --> 01:07:53,041
Not bad, hmm?
1101
01:07:54,958 --> 01:07:58,125
- It is as good as the 47, in my opinion.
- May the best man win.
1102
01:07:58,125 --> 01:07:59,541
Woman.
1103
01:07:59,625 --> 01:08:01,291
Well, we're not gonna go on
about genders, old man.
1104
01:08:01,375 --> 01:08:02,708
Well, I second that, old pal.
1105
01:08:04,541 --> 01:08:07,958
Now, alas, I must worm my way to
the Corn Exchange for our final meeting.
1106
01:08:07,958 --> 01:08:10,875
We've got one of the party intellectuals
coming down from Whitehall.
1107
01:08:10,875 --> 01:08:13,208
Same here. Big pop from Transport House.
1108
01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:15,166
I think we better leave separately, Bert.
1109
01:08:15,250 --> 01:08:17,791
Cheerio. See you after the poll.
1110
01:08:17,875 --> 01:08:19,375
Cheerio, old boy.
1111
01:08:23,583 --> 01:08:24,750
Good night.
1112
01:08:25,375 --> 01:08:26,666
What do you mean by following me?
1113
01:08:26,750 --> 01:08:29,083
Well, I've been thinking again,
Mr. Glimmer.
1114
01:08:29,083 --> 01:08:32,708
Well, I'm not satisfied.
I've known Stella since we were kids.
1115
01:08:32,708 --> 01:08:36,666
And I think there's something preying
on her mind and I want to know what it is.
1116
01:08:36,750 --> 01:08:38,000
Come over here.
1117
01:08:38,541 --> 01:08:40,458
I know I should've said something
to you before.
1118
01:08:40,458 --> 01:08:42,583
You don't know
the sleepless nights I've had.
1119
01:08:42,583 --> 01:08:46,666
Being such a delicate matter, I don't
know how I'm gonna tell you at all.
1120
01:08:47,916 --> 01:08:50,708
You don't mean to tell me
that Stella's got herself into trouble?
1121
01:08:50,708 --> 01:08:54,458
Good gracious, no.
Well, I'm surprised at you.
1122
01:08:54,458 --> 01:08:56,041
I am, really.
1123
01:08:56,125 --> 01:08:57,416
I'm sorry, Mr. Glimmer.
1124
01:08:57,500 --> 01:09:00,083
However,
she did have a very nasty experience.
1125
01:09:00,583 --> 01:09:03,250
- It's over and done with now.
- What is?
1126
01:09:03,791 --> 01:09:06,125
Well, not to put too fine a point on it,
1127
01:09:06,708 --> 01:09:09,208
Wilcot forced his attentions on her
1128
01:09:09,208 --> 01:09:11,958
- in his Lordship's maze.
- Aye?
1129
01:09:12,541 --> 01:09:15,500
They got lost and his animal passions
got the better of him.
1130
01:09:15,500 --> 01:09:17,250
But he must be 65.
1131
01:09:17,250 --> 01:09:19,833
Not Lord Wilcot, Robert!
1132
01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:21,708
- No!
- Yes.
1133
01:09:21,708 --> 01:09:24,583
Fortunately, we got there in time
and hushed it up.
1134
01:09:24,583 --> 01:09:26,083
Hushed it up, why?
1135
01:09:26,083 --> 01:09:28,166
Well, we wouldn't want to win
an election that way, would we?
1136
01:09:28,250 --> 01:09:29,541
Wouldn't we? Why wouldn't we?
1137
01:09:29,625 --> 01:09:30,875
No precedent for it.
1138
01:09:31,875 --> 01:09:33,083
Oh, I see.
1139
01:09:33,666 --> 01:09:35,833
Well, she ought to
have given the swine in charge.
1140
01:09:35,833 --> 01:09:39,291
She put the election first.
And I hope you'll do the same, my son.
1141
01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:42,208
I know you won't say anything
until it's all over.
1142
01:09:42,208 --> 01:09:43,875
Not even to Stella.
1143
01:09:43,875 --> 01:09:46,083
It's a sordid story, I grant you, but...
1144
01:09:46,083 --> 01:09:48,500
so is a great deal of Shakespeare.
1145
01:09:48,500 --> 01:09:50,000
Alright. See you later,
young fellow, my lad.
1146
01:09:50,541 --> 01:09:53,333
You don't know the part that you played
in our hour of trial.
1147
01:10:15,583 --> 01:10:16,791
- Good evening.
- Good evening, sir.
1148
01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:18,375
- Very good attendance.
- Oh, yes.
1149
01:10:18,375 --> 01:10:20,208
I'll be in the anteroom if you want me.
1150
01:10:24,791 --> 01:10:26,416
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
1151
01:10:27,041 --> 01:10:28,333
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
1152
01:10:28,333 --> 01:10:29,958
Good evening, Peterson.
Looks like a full house.
1153
01:10:29,958 --> 01:10:31,583
Standing room only.
I shouldn't be surprised.
1154
01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:32,916
And so, gentlemen,
1155
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:36,583
by this means, we may well hope
to reduce the cost of living.
1156
01:10:36,583 --> 01:10:38,583
Very well, Wilcot. Word perfect.
1157
01:10:39,541 --> 01:10:43,125
I'll have you know that
I definitely intend to win this election.
1158
01:10:43,625 --> 01:10:45,291
That is welcome news indeed.
1159
01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:49,166
And after that,
I hope I never set eyes on that smug,
1160
01:10:49,250 --> 01:10:55,208
self-satisfied, hypocritical, treacherous,
lying double face of yours again.
1161
01:10:56,000 --> 01:10:57,375
Where was I?
1162
01:10:57,375 --> 01:11:00,375
"Turning now to the international scone..."
1163
01:11:00,375 --> 01:11:03,250
Turning... the what?
1164
01:11:04,250 --> 01:11:08,666
Oh, no, Annabel. Not scone, scene, scene.
1165
01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:10,375
This isn't a cookery contest.
1166
01:11:10,375 --> 01:11:12,708
7:10, Peterson. I think you'd better
get on to the station
1167
01:11:12,708 --> 01:11:14,291
and collect Grimsby Armfield.
1168
01:11:14,375 --> 01:11:16,958
I don't see how I can, HP.
I've got to receive the press.
1169
01:11:16,958 --> 01:11:18,125
Well, somebody.
1170
01:11:18,125 --> 01:11:20,666
Send Annabel. A good idea.
1171
01:11:20,750 --> 01:11:23,000
Oh yes, please.
1172
01:11:23,791 --> 01:11:26,708
I mean,
meeting cabinet ministers and things
1173
01:11:26,708 --> 01:11:29,333
would be such good practice
for afterwards.
1174
01:11:29,333 --> 01:11:30,583
Oh, mind.
1175
01:11:30,583 --> 01:11:33,500
Peterson, get someone to take
Miss Brentwood down to the station.
1176
01:11:33,500 --> 01:11:35,708
- Alright.
- Oh, thanks frightfully.
1177
01:11:40,958 --> 01:11:42,666
Curious accent that girl has.
1178
01:11:42,750 --> 01:11:45,041
Darn few consonants, no vowels at all.
1179
01:11:51,083 --> 01:11:52,916
Car, please, to meet the 7:30.
1180
01:11:53,541 --> 01:11:56,125
Car wanted. Mr. Savers, wait, please.
1181
01:12:06,166 --> 01:12:09,708
Oh, excuse me. Could you tell me
where I could find Mr. Wilcot, please?
1182
01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:11,416
Oh, he's inside,
1183
01:12:11,500 --> 01:12:14,125
in the little room by the platform.
1184
01:12:14,708 --> 01:12:16,083
Oh. Thanks very much.
1185
01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:20,791
It's a pleasure.
1186
01:12:22,458 --> 01:12:26,583
A steady application
of sound economic measures.
1187
01:12:27,666 --> 01:12:31,500
And now, my friends,
turning to the international scone...
1188
01:12:31,500 --> 01:12:33,333
Oh, blast!
1189
01:12:35,583 --> 01:12:37,041
I want a word with you.
1190
01:12:38,333 --> 01:12:40,125
- Me?
- Yes.
1191
01:12:48,875 --> 01:12:50,291
Boo!
1192
01:12:53,416 --> 01:12:56,208
Absolutely packed to the rafters.
I'm sure it's going to be...
1193
01:13:06,625 --> 01:13:08,625
Mr. Wilcot!
1194
01:13:15,583 --> 01:13:18,416
- Oh, did you see Mr. Wilcot?
- That's right.
1195
01:13:18,500 --> 01:13:21,416
- You've cut your lip.
- Oh, have I?
1196
01:13:21,500 --> 01:13:23,000
Ready, Miss Brentwood.
1197
01:13:23,000 --> 01:13:26,083
Oh, now you've smeared it
all over your chin.
1198
01:13:26,666 --> 01:13:29,416
Do you mind if I just dab it a little?
1199
01:13:29,500 --> 01:13:31,458
Oh, you mustn't do that.
1200
01:13:32,125 --> 01:13:33,333
You'll spoil it.
1201
01:13:34,750 --> 01:13:36,833
Miss Brentwood, we'll be late!
1202
01:13:54,625 --> 01:13:56,708
I... I said, is it alright now?
1203
01:13:56,708 --> 01:13:59,125
It's perfectly lovely.
1204
01:13:59,125 --> 01:14:00,875
Miss Brentwood, please!
1205
01:14:01,791 --> 01:14:03,625
They... They're calling you.
1206
01:14:03,625 --> 01:14:06,833
Oh, yes, yes, I... I must go now.
1207
01:14:07,666 --> 01:14:10,375
- Thanks very much.
- Thank you.
1208
01:14:36,583 --> 01:14:38,958
Give him air.
Loosen his collar or something.
1209
01:14:38,958 --> 01:14:41,416
He's unconscious.
The candidate's unconscious.
1210
01:14:41,500 --> 01:14:43,333
He might have waited
until he'd taken a seat in the House.
1211
01:14:43,333 --> 01:14:44,833
HP.
1212
01:14:44,833 --> 01:14:46,500
It's 7:40. They're getting a bit restless.
1213
01:14:46,500 --> 01:14:49,208
- Where's Grimsby Armfield?
- Not here yet.
1214
01:14:49,208 --> 01:14:50,541
The train must be late.
1215
01:14:50,625 --> 01:14:52,458
Well, go outside
and see if somebody's coming.
1216
01:14:52,458 --> 01:14:55,041
- Alright.
- Oh look, don't bother with that now.
1217
01:14:55,125 --> 01:14:58,166
Look, get up on the platform
and keep the flag flying.
1218
01:15:09,083 --> 01:15:10,875
I said we'd miss the train.
1219
01:15:11,875 --> 01:15:15,833
Over there!
Are you the speaker for our meeting?
1220
01:15:15,833 --> 01:15:17,291
Yes, I am.
1221
01:15:17,375 --> 01:15:20,625
Frightfully sorry we are late.
Absolutely devastated. Do jump in.
1222
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:22,583
Thank you very much.
1223
01:15:28,541 --> 01:15:30,041
I think his eyelids flickered.
1224
01:15:30,833 --> 01:15:33,041
Where the blazes is Grimsby Armfield?
1225
01:15:33,125 --> 01:15:35,500
- He's here!
- Oh, thank heavens.
1226
01:15:35,500 --> 01:15:37,000
The speaker's here.
1227
01:15:38,875 --> 01:15:41,125
What? You're not Grimsby Armfield.
1228
01:15:41,125 --> 01:15:43,833
Of course I'm not.
I'm Bray, from Labor HQ.
1229
01:15:43,833 --> 01:15:45,833
- You are, you?
- Labor?
1230
01:15:45,833 --> 01:15:48,083
You cretin! You've met the wrong man!
1231
01:15:48,875 --> 01:15:52,333
- But isn't this St. Luke's?
- No! Here, take me to the station.
1232
01:15:52,333 --> 01:15:54,416
- Oh, there's nobody there.
- Well, of course there is. Unless...
1233
01:15:55,750 --> 01:15:58,333
Unless Grimsby Armfield
has gone to the wrong meeting.
1234
01:15:58,333 --> 01:16:00,333
Oh no, not that!
1235
01:16:00,333 --> 01:16:01,791
St. Luke's School, quick!
1236
01:16:03,500 --> 01:16:04,958
Wait for me!
1237
01:16:06,541 --> 01:16:08,208
Oh dear.
1238
01:16:10,541 --> 01:16:12,625
St. Luke's School, quick,
the Labor meeting!
1239
01:16:12,625 --> 01:16:14,833
Here, get in. Oh, come along, old man.
1240
01:16:17,750 --> 01:16:20,916
Faster! Can't you go any faster?
1241
01:16:22,333 --> 01:16:24,291
- Stop!
- Here we are.
1242
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:30,916
Our policy, my friends, is your policy.
1243
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:34,541
A Britain where social justice prevails,
1244
01:16:34,625 --> 01:16:36,500
where each has his opportunity,
1245
01:16:36,500 --> 01:16:38,875
and the old-age pensioners
are not forgotten.
1246
01:16:38,875 --> 01:16:40,791
- It's Armfield...
- Speaking.
1247
01:16:40,875 --> 01:16:42,791
I tell you, my friends,
1248
01:16:42,875 --> 01:16:44,833
if we keep these aims in mind...
1249
01:16:44,833 --> 01:16:46,958
He can't have joined
the Labor party in that time.
1250
01:16:46,958 --> 01:16:48,416
Fool!
1251
01:16:48,958 --> 01:16:50,750
Come on, Egerton.
1252
01:16:50,750 --> 01:16:52,291
Rescue party.
1253
01:16:52,833 --> 01:16:54,958
...our promised land.
1254
01:16:57,125 --> 01:16:59,958
- He's spoken.
- Car, car!
1255
01:17:01,166 --> 01:17:02,666
He's finished.
1256
01:17:06,625 --> 01:17:09,250
- Well, that was a splendid speech, sir.
- Thank you.
1257
01:17:09,250 --> 01:17:11,416
I'm sorry you got to push off,
but thanks very much for coming down.
1258
01:17:11,500 --> 01:17:14,958
- -It's been a pleasure, Mr. Harding-
- Pratt.
- I... What?
1259
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:24,166
- [Harding-
- Pratt] Back to the Corn Exchange, hurry!
1260
01:17:24,250 --> 01:17:29,958
A Britain where social justice prevails,
where each has his opportunity,
1261
01:17:29,958 --> 01:17:32,250
and the old-age pensioners
are not forgotten.
1262
01:17:32,958 --> 01:17:35,166
I tell you, my friends,
1263
01:17:35,250 --> 01:17:40,916
if we keep these aims in mind,
under providence, we shall never doubt it
1264
01:17:41,000 --> 01:17:44,458
gain our haven, our harborage,
1265
01:17:45,208 --> 01:17:50,958
our promised land.
1266
01:17:50,958 --> 01:17:53,333
Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Armfield.
1267
01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:55,666
Thank you
1268
01:17:55,750 --> 01:18:00,500
for a brilliant, thought-provoking,
and highly original speech.
1269
01:18:01,250 --> 01:18:04,625
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
I call upon your candidate,
1270
01:18:05,250 --> 01:18:09,375
that fine, dynamic,
upstanding young personality,
1271
01:18:09,375 --> 01:18:10,916
Robert Wilcot!
1272
01:18:16,791 --> 01:18:18,333
This way, gentlemen, please.
1273
01:18:19,875 --> 01:18:21,958
Take Mr. Wilcot up to his room, alright?
1274
01:18:24,958 --> 01:18:26,000
What's the trouble exactly?
1275
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:29,583
Well, nothing serious. Just a slight
recurrence of his old Antarctic sickness.
1276
01:18:29,583 --> 01:18:30,750
- Antarctic sickness?
- Yes.
1277
01:18:30,750 --> 01:18:33,833
Same sort of thing as snow blindness
but it affects the middle ear.
1278
01:18:33,833 --> 01:18:35,958
He'll be as right as rain in the morning.
1279
01:18:35,958 --> 01:18:37,291
I hope...
1280
01:18:37,375 --> 01:18:40,958
Hello, everybody.
This is Stella Stoker,
1281
01:18:40,958 --> 01:18:43,000
your Labor candidate
1282
01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:46,208
making a last appeal for your votes.
1283
01:18:46,875 --> 01:18:49,333
Don't stay home tomorrow.
1284
01:18:50,041 --> 01:18:51,500
Come out in your thousands
1285
01:18:51,500 --> 01:18:56,666
and vote for me,
the only professional candidate.
1286
01:18:56,750 --> 01:18:58,250
Vote for Stoker.
1287
01:18:58,250 --> 01:18:59,416
Stella.
1288
01:18:59,500 --> 01:19:00,916
And keep out the Tory.
1289
01:19:01,000 --> 01:19:03,041
Well, I shall have to tell her about us.
1290
01:19:03,541 --> 01:19:05,791
I don't know how I shall tell Robert.
1291
01:19:05,875 --> 01:19:07,666
He'll be utterly shattered.
1292
01:19:07,750 --> 01:19:10,458
But well, we must.
I mean, it's only right.
1293
01:19:10,458 --> 01:19:12,791
Oh, Bill.
1294
01:19:12,875 --> 01:19:16,041
- Well. Here... Here goes.
- Hello, everybody. This is Stella Stoker,
1295
01:19:16,125 --> 01:19:18,416
your professional parliamentary candidate
1296
01:19:18,500 --> 01:19:20,791
making a last appeal for your votes.
1297
01:19:20,875 --> 01:19:22,291
- Don't stay at home.
- Stella!
1298
01:19:22,375 --> 01:19:24,291
- Come out and vote.
- Stella!
1299
01:19:24,375 --> 01:19:25,750
Stella.
1300
01:19:25,750 --> 01:19:27,291
Where have you been all this time?
1301
01:19:27,375 --> 01:19:28,500
Look, I've got something to tell you.
1302
01:19:28,500 --> 01:19:30,083
Well, I'm busy, can't you see?
1303
01:19:30,083 --> 01:19:31,708
Look, you've got to listen. Please listen.
1304
01:19:31,708 --> 01:19:35,583
When I got the truth out of old Glimmer,
well, I... I sort of saw red, see.
1305
01:19:35,583 --> 01:19:37,583
What are you talking about?
1306
01:19:37,583 --> 01:19:39,833
Well, I'm just trying to tell you
how we met.
1307
01:19:39,833 --> 01:19:42,375
- I went round to knock his block off and--
- Who's block?
1308
01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:44,500
Well, the Tory bloke,
what's his name, Wilcot.
1309
01:19:44,500 --> 01:19:46,916
- And then when I was coming out after...
- After what?
1310
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,458
Well, after I clocked him.
And there she was, Stella...
1311
01:19:49,458 --> 01:19:51,000
You hit him?
1312
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,500
Yeah, I knocked him cold.
1313
01:19:52,500 --> 01:19:54,125
- But did you hurt him?
- But Stella, what I'm trying to...
1314
01:19:54,125 --> 01:19:56,291
Well, who cares! Look, Stella,
1315
01:19:56,375 --> 01:19:57,375
- I was coming out of the...
- Where is he now?
1316
01:19:57,375 --> 01:19:59,541
I don't know, Stella.
They carried him back to his hotel.
1317
01:19:59,625 --> 01:20:02,583
Carried him? How dare you!
1318
01:20:02,583 --> 01:20:07,208
Who told you to interfere, you thug?
You might've killed him!
1319
01:20:07,208 --> 01:20:10,083
Oh, you're just a great big ape!
1320
01:20:12,958 --> 01:20:14,291
Stella!
1321
01:20:15,583 --> 01:20:17,166
Stella!
1322
01:20:17,250 --> 01:20:19,750
Quite comfy, Bobby dear?
1323
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,958
- You sure you're alright?
- Yes, I'm alright.
1324
01:20:22,958 --> 01:20:24,333
- Here, knock this back.
- Oh.
1325
01:20:25,500 --> 01:20:28,708
I'll just have a word with HP.
See if the press is gone.
1326
01:20:33,000 --> 01:20:35,916
I've got something to tell you,
Bobby dear.
1327
01:20:36,958 --> 01:20:40,625
I'm afraid it's going to be
an absolutely frightful blow.
1328
01:20:40,625 --> 01:20:43,375
I do hope
you won't do something too desperate.
1329
01:20:43,375 --> 01:20:45,208
Desperate? Why? What's the matter?
1330
01:20:45,958 --> 01:20:48,500
I've met someone else.
1331
01:20:50,375 --> 01:20:51,625
No!
1332
01:21:00,166 --> 01:21:05,000
His name's Bill Hemingway
and he's a muscle builder.
1333
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:06,708
You know, you cut him on the lip.
1334
01:21:07,791 --> 01:21:09,416
What, him?
1335
01:21:09,500 --> 01:21:12,916
Yes, we were both absolutely bowled over.
1336
01:21:13,000 --> 01:21:16,125
Annabel,
does he feel the same way about you?
1337
01:21:16,125 --> 01:21:19,333
Oh yes, utterly.
1338
01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:21,000
Annabel!
1339
01:21:25,625 --> 01:21:27,041
I must go.
1340
01:21:28,333 --> 01:21:31,541
Stella! Stella!
1341
01:21:33,208 --> 01:21:34,291
Stella.
1342
01:21:34,833 --> 01:21:36,458
Stella.
1343
01:21:36,458 --> 01:21:38,666
I thought you said
he was seriously injured!
1344
01:21:38,750 --> 01:21:41,416
Stella! Stella!
1345
01:21:54,666 --> 01:21:56,541
What are you doing here? Get out!
1346
01:21:59,375 --> 01:22:01,541
- Wilcot!
- Stella!
1347
01:22:01,625 --> 01:22:03,583
Blimey, he's kidnapped her!
1348
01:22:31,875 --> 01:22:33,583
But she admits she loves me.
1349
01:22:33,583 --> 01:22:35,500
Well, don't think I'm proud of it.
1350
01:22:35,500 --> 01:22:38,458
I'm disgusted with myself
and I'm determined to trample
1351
01:22:38,458 --> 01:22:40,000
the beastly thing underfoot.
1352
01:22:40,000 --> 01:22:41,916
Anybody would think I was a monster.
1353
01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,083
No, only a Tory.
1354
01:22:44,083 --> 01:22:46,875
Oh, Stella, darling, listen, please!
1355
01:22:46,875 --> 01:22:50,500
Tonight, this whole thing will be over
no matter which one of us wins.
1356
01:22:50,500 --> 01:22:52,041
Well, if you win,
1357
01:22:52,125 --> 01:22:55,250
do you think I'd dream
of marrying a Conservative MP?
1358
01:22:55,250 --> 01:22:58,458
I know it is not very likely
but supposing you won?
1359
01:22:58,458 --> 01:23:00,041
Well, of course, I'll win.
1360
01:23:00,125 --> 01:23:02,708
Then what the devil
have you been arguing about all night?
1361
01:23:02,708 --> 01:23:07,416
The point is, if I win, I intend
to devote myself entirely to politics.
1362
01:23:07,500 --> 01:23:09,916
Pshaw and tally little.
1363
01:23:11,375 --> 01:23:13,083
Oh, Stella.
1364
01:23:13,083 --> 01:23:17,291
I couldn't bear to think of you
wasting yourself day after day on 600 MPs.
1365
01:23:17,375 --> 01:23:19,416
Don't worry. Most of them won't be there.
1366
01:23:20,125 --> 01:23:23,583
You'd have to find some cause
to devote yourself to, I mean...
1367
01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:26,500
- a really worthwhile one.
- But I have.
1368
01:23:27,000 --> 01:23:28,333
Stella Stoker.
1369
01:23:28,333 --> 01:23:31,166
But she's a red menace.
Your chairman said so.
1370
01:23:31,250 --> 01:23:34,000
No, she's not,
she's my favorite shade of parlor pink.
1371
01:23:35,375 --> 01:23:37,416
It doesn't go with Tory blue, Robert.
1372
01:23:38,000 --> 01:23:41,083
Look, before you go through
all the colors of the spectrum, may I say
1373
01:23:41,083 --> 01:23:43,833
that I find this conversation
frankly nauseating.
1374
01:23:46,125 --> 01:23:48,625
Well... Goodbye, Robert.
1375
01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:51,416
I'll always remember you.
1376
01:23:51,500 --> 01:23:55,500
I don't want to be remembered. I want
to spend the rest of my life with you!
1377
01:23:57,750 --> 01:24:02,041
Better let her leave first. Besides,
you can't go back in that dressing gown.
1378
01:24:02,125 --> 01:24:04,625
British virtue will never go
for that no accord stuff.
1379
01:24:04,625 --> 01:24:06,875
But I'll never be able
to get her out of my mind, Uncle.
1380
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:09,250
Oh, don't give up entirely, my boy.
1381
01:24:09,250 --> 01:24:12,000
She wavered. She distinctly wavered.
1382
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:15,041
And looking on the bright side,
you may not win the election.
1383
01:24:15,125 --> 01:24:16,875
Nothing in life is certain.
1384
01:24:16,875 --> 01:24:21,166
And providence sometimes uses
the most unexpected devices
1385
01:24:21,250 --> 01:24:22,708
to achieve her ends.
1386
01:24:22,708 --> 01:24:24,250
Well, one thing is certain,
1387
01:24:25,166 --> 01:24:28,666
if I win... I lose.
1388
01:24:41,583 --> 01:24:44,166
Stella!
Thank goodness. Where have you been?
1389
01:24:44,250 --> 01:24:46,166
What's happened?
We've been searching all around the--
1390
01:24:46,250 --> 01:24:48,791
I didn't expect to find you asleep
on pearling day, Glimmer.
1391
01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:51,125
There must be a hundred things to do.
1392
01:24:51,125 --> 01:24:54,000
Isn't it time
you started to do some of it?
1393
01:25:04,208 --> 01:25:05,916
Sixteen, please.
1394
01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:08,666
Wilcot, so you're back!
1395
01:25:09,250 --> 01:25:12,291
- Where the devil have you been?
- Fishing.
1396
01:25:12,375 --> 01:25:15,500
We've been scouring the countryside
all night. I haven't slept a wink.
1397
01:25:16,458 --> 01:25:19,583
That is the best bit of news I've heard
for years.
1398
01:25:24,750 --> 01:25:29,375
Not bad, Hardy. Nature obviously
intended me for a sign writer.
1399
01:25:34,083 --> 01:25:38,750
Oh, no. Halt! Up with it, Hardy!
Up, up, up!
1400
01:25:43,291 --> 01:25:45,791
- Look out, sir.
- Splint...
1401
01:25:49,875 --> 01:25:51,500
Are you alright, sir?
1402
01:25:52,791 --> 01:25:54,500
No.
1403
01:25:54,500 --> 01:25:56,208
No, blast it, I'm not.
1404
01:25:56,791 --> 01:25:58,583
No, no, no. Better not move me.
1405
01:25:59,416 --> 01:26:02,958
I think this is a case for the vet.
Call Dr. Rushall.
1406
01:26:06,333 --> 01:26:09,958
Voting in the by-election
is in full swing at Earndale.
1407
01:26:09,958 --> 01:26:13,666
At midnight, the result will be declared
from the Earndale townhall.
1408
01:26:14,458 --> 01:26:16,291
Which of them will win?
1409
01:26:33,791 --> 01:26:35,541
- How's it going?
- Neck and neck, I think.
1410
01:26:35,625 --> 01:26:36,708
I'm afraid you can't smoke in here.
1411
01:26:44,333 --> 01:26:47,000
- Evening, Wilcot.
- Good evening, Mr. Pottle.
1412
01:27:23,000 --> 01:27:25,125
We have a majority of 24
on the first counts.
1413
01:27:25,125 --> 01:27:28,166
Splendid!
They'll be frying tonight!
1414
01:27:28,250 --> 01:27:29,416
- [Harding-
- Pratt] They've asked for a recount, of course.
1415
01:27:29,500 --> 01:27:30,416
Oh yes, of course.
1416
01:27:30,500 --> 01:27:32,125
Oh good.
1417
01:27:32,125 --> 01:27:34,041
Oh, really?
1418
01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:35,750
Well done!
1419
01:27:35,750 --> 01:27:37,625
Well, it's not over yet, you know.
There's always the recount.
1420
01:27:37,625 --> 01:27:39,500
Don't forget the recount.
1421
01:27:50,750 --> 01:27:51,791
- Mr. Glimmer. Mr. Harding-
- Pratt.
1422
01:28:03,583 --> 01:28:06,250
- We'd like a recount.
- Yes, sir.
1423
01:28:10,750 --> 01:28:13,958
I'm afraid it's gone the other way
this time. Majority of 10 in her favor.
1424
01:28:13,958 --> 01:28:16,041
- Oh dear.
- That's bad.
1425
01:28:16,125 --> 01:28:17,833
I asked for a recount, of course.
1426
01:28:17,833 --> 01:28:19,916
Oh, is that absolutely necessary?
1427
01:28:20,000 --> 01:28:21,458
Of course!
1428
01:28:38,375 --> 01:28:43,000
I, John Bates, being the returning officer
at the election
1429
01:28:43,000 --> 01:28:45,041
for the constituency of Earndale,
1430
01:28:45,875 --> 01:28:50,000
hereby declare the number
of votes recorded for each candidate
1431
01:28:50,583 --> 01:28:53,750
after no fewer than four recounts.
1432
01:28:55,833 --> 01:28:59,833
Wilcot, 10,323.
1433
01:29:02,125 --> 01:29:06,125
Stoker, 10,301.
1434
01:29:09,500 --> 01:29:12,083
Majority, 22.
1435
01:29:14,083 --> 01:29:19,125
Electors of Earndale, I present to you
your new member, Robert Wilcot.
1436
01:29:20,125 --> 01:29:21,916
Congratulations, Mr. Wilcot.
1437
01:29:29,083 --> 01:29:31,041
Tell them they made you a very happy man.
1438
01:29:31,125 --> 01:29:32,375
What?
1439
01:29:33,083 --> 01:29:34,583
Yes, um...
1440
01:29:34,583 --> 01:29:36,958
You have made me a very happy man.
1441
01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:43,583
And I would just like to thank
all my helpers and my supporters
1442
01:29:43,583 --> 01:29:46,708
for putting me where I am tonight.
1443
01:29:47,875 --> 01:29:51,125
My success was entirely due to them.
1444
01:29:52,208 --> 01:29:53,375
He's right there.
1445
01:29:53,375 --> 01:29:56,625
Well, it's all over now, Bert.
Pity one side had to get the chopper.
1446
01:29:56,625 --> 01:29:58,333
Oh, no hard feelings, old pal.
1447
01:29:58,333 --> 01:30:00,750
And now, the gallant loser.
1448
01:30:04,583 --> 01:30:07,083
Well... I've lost.
1449
01:30:08,583 --> 01:30:11,750
As it was, well, someone had to win,
1450
01:30:11,750 --> 01:30:15,375
and I sincerely congratulate
my Conservative opponent.
1451
01:30:19,000 --> 01:30:21,541
Well, now it's all over, Bert.
How about a drink?
1452
01:30:21,625 --> 01:30:24,583
- I can hardly wait, old pal.
- Come on, old man. Here we go.
1453
01:30:26,250 --> 01:30:28,583
Congratulations, Mr. Wilcot.
1454
01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:36,708
- I'm sorry it had to end like this.
- So am I.
1455
01:30:37,375 --> 01:30:41,000
Because I haven't won, really. I've lost.
1456
01:30:52,291 --> 01:30:53,583
Darling Robert.
1457
01:30:55,083 --> 01:30:57,875
Stella. Oh, Stella, my dear.
1458
01:31:16,666 --> 01:31:19,125
- -Mr. Harding-
- Pratt, sir.
- Yes?
1459
01:31:19,125 --> 01:31:20,708
I've got some terrible news, sir.
1460
01:31:20,708 --> 01:31:21,958
I know, we're watching it.
1461
01:31:21,958 --> 01:31:23,833
- I must tell Mr. Robert, sir.
- Hmm?
1462
01:31:23,833 --> 01:31:25,791
His uncle has passed away.
1463
01:31:25,875 --> 01:31:27,500
Oh, no, he hasn't!
1464
01:31:27,500 --> 01:31:32,208
I've come to inform Mr. Robert
that he's been Lord Wilcot since 10:48.
1465
01:31:41,375 --> 01:31:44,750
Glimmer, do you realize what this means?
He'll never be able to take his seat.
1466
01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:47,666
He'll go straight to the House of Lords.
The election's no-go.
1467
01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:50,541
We'll have to fight
the whole blasted campaign all over again.
1468
01:31:52,875 --> 01:31:54,250
And I thought we fixed them.
1469
01:31:54,250 --> 01:31:56,541
Oh, we fixed them alright.
Pity we didn't leave them alone.
1470
01:31:56,625 --> 01:31:58,166
Well, it was your idea, old man.
1471
01:31:58,250 --> 01:32:00,375
Who telephoned me in the first place?
1472
01:32:00,375 --> 01:32:02,583
Are you trying to pin the blame on me?
1473
01:32:02,583 --> 01:32:04,500
Glimmer,
are you trying to wriggle out of this?
1474
01:32:04,500 --> 01:32:08,041
Oh, now listen, just because you mucked
the whole thing up like a proper Charlie.
1475
01:32:08,125 --> 01:32:10,166
You appalling little squirt!
1476
01:32:10,958 --> 01:32:12,541
Take the old potato out of your mouth.
1477
01:32:12,625 --> 01:32:14,458
Try and talk like a normal human being.
1478
01:32:14,458 --> 01:32:16,958
I've always thought of you
as a flashy little counterjumper
1479
01:32:16,958 --> 01:32:18,291
and by God, I was right.
1480
01:32:18,375 --> 01:32:21,416
You're crude, Glimmer,
helplessly, painfully crude!
1481
01:32:21,500 --> 01:32:23,000
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
1482
01:32:23,000 --> 01:32:26,375
- Harding-
- Pratt? Whoa, what a name, what a face!
1483
01:32:26,375 --> 01:32:28,416
- You oaf!
- You old drip!
1484
01:32:28,500 --> 01:32:30,791
- You... lout!
- Oh! Go on...
1485
01:32:30,875 --> 01:32:32,708
- Don't speak to me like that!
- By gosh, wait a minute, son.
1486
01:32:32,708 --> 01:32:34,500
No, hey, don't.
1487
01:32:34,500 --> 01:32:35,708
Ah, here, won't...
1488
01:32:35,708 --> 01:32:37,958
Get out!
111847
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