All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S06E11.Shareholder.Meeting.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

NOT AGAIN.

BOW DOWN BEFORE RECYCLOPS.

FIVE YEARS AGO,
CORPORATE SAID

WE HAD TO START A RECYCLING
PROGRAM FOR EARTH DAY.

SO DWIGHT
TOOK THE LEAD ON THAT

AND INTRODUCED US TO A VERY
CLOSE FRIEND OF HIS

NAMED RECYCLOPS.

HAPPY EARTH DAY, EVERYONE,
I'M RECYCLOPS.

DID YOU KNOW
THAT AN OLD MILK CARTON

CAN BE SAWED IN HALF
AND USED AS A PLANTER?

THE NEXT YEAR HE REALLY
STEPPED THINGS UP.

WHO HAS PUT A NUMBER SEVEN
PLASTIC IN A NUMBER FOUR BIN?

A YEAR AFTER THAT, RECYCLOPS
REALLY BEGAN TO TAKE SHAPE.

RECYCLOPS WILL DROWN YOU
IN YOUR OVERWATERED LAWNS.

THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK RECYCLOPS
WHEN HIS FICTIONAL PLANET

WAS ATTACKED BY SOME OTHER
FICTITIOUS THING.

I CAN'T REMEMBER.

RECYCLOPS WILL HAVE HIS REVENGE.

I THINK THIS WAS ALSO
THE YEAR THAT HE RENOUNCED

EARTH DAY AND VOWED TO DESTROY
THE PLANET HE ONCE LOVED.

OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS,
LOOK, IT'S RECYCLOPS!

RECYCLOPS DESTROYS!

[growling]

OH, IS TODAY
RECYCLOPS DAY?

YES.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE KILLED BY
POLLUTICORN OR SOMETHING.

OH, POLLUTICORN WISHES.

THAT'S AEROSOL SPRAY.

IT'S TERRIBLE FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.

HUMANS ARE TERRIBLE
FOR THE ENVIRONMENT.

[growling]

THE THING I LIKE MOST
ABOUT RECYCLOPS

IS THAT HE'S CREATING A
DIFFERENT WORLD FOR OUR CHILD.

A WORLD WHERE YOU TRULY
CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT.

GOD BLESS YOU, RECYCLOPS
AND YOUR COLD ROBOT HEART.

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

OKAY, OKAY,
HOW ABOUT THIS?

THAT'S GREAT.

I WANT IT TO BE BETTER
THAN GREAT, PAM.

HOW ABOUT I REMAIN SEATED

AND I JUST DO A LITTLE BIT
OF A NOD.

- SORT OF A HUMBLE THING.
- SURE.

NO, THEN MY FACE IS DOWN
AND THEY CAN'T SEE MY FACE.

AND IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE TAKING A DUMP.

ALAN BRAND IS THE CEO
OF THE COMPANY,

IF TITLE'S IMPORTANT TO YOU,
HAS PERSONALLY INVITED MOI

TO GO TO NEW YORK
TO THE SHAREHOLDER'S MEETING

AND SIT UP ON THE STAGE
WITH THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS.

AND AT SOME POINT THEY ARE
GOING TO INTRODUCE ME

AS THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
BRANCH MANAGER THAT THEY HAVE.

AND THEN MICHAEL SCOTT TURNS
AND WAVES TO THE CROWD

AND THE CROWD GOES WILD.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,
FROM SCRANTON PENNSYLVANIA,

PLEASE WELCOME
MICHAEL "THE MACHINE" SCOTT.

DON'T DO THE TWIRL.

- LOSE THE TWIRL.
- TWIRL SUCKS.

MICHAEL, I HATED THE TWIRL.

HATE THE TWIRL.

OKAY, OBVIOUSLY,
I'M NOT GOING TO DO THE TWIRL.

I ONLY DID IT
BECAUSE I NAILED THE WAVE.

YEAH, GOOD, DON'T DO IT.

I'M NOT GOING TO DO
THE TWIRL.

ALL RIGHT?

IT'S NOT EVEN A TWIRL,
IT'S A SPIN.

I MIGHT DO THE SPIN.

THE LONG TERM PROBLEM
IS BAD INVESTMENTS

THAT THEY NEED TO DUMP.

THE SHORT TERM PROBLEM
IS THE COMPANY HAS NO CASH

AND THERE'S NOWHERE TO GET IT.

OKAY, OSCAR, I DON'T NEED
THE WHOLE ENCHILADA.

JUST BULLET POINTS.

THOSE ARE THE BULLET POINTS.

WELL, COULD YOU CONDENSE IT,
PLEASE?

THAT'S AS SIMPLE
AS I CAN MAKE IT.

MICHAEL,
THE LIMO'S HERE FOR YOU.

IT'S NOT A LIMO.
IT'S A TOWN CAR.

TOWN CAR'S ARE ACTUALLY
BETTER, THOUGH.

BETTER TORQUE, BETTER HANDLING.

HE SAID LIMOUSINE, SO...

CHECK IT OUT, GUYS.

THERE'S A LIMO DOWN HERE.

MICHAEL, LOOK.

OH, MAN.

THEY SENT A LIMO.

TOWN CARS SUCK.

A TOWN CAR IS SOMETHING
THAT A COMPANY SENDS

WHEN THEY'RE IN TROUBLE.

A LIMOUSINE IS SOMETHING
THAT A COMPANY SENDS

WHEN THEY HAVE CAUSE
FOR CELEBRATION.

AND IN THIS CASE,
I THINK WE ARE CELEBRATING ME.

OH, WAIT!
WAIT!

WOW!
WOW!

- OH, NO WAY.
- LOOK AT THAT.

WHAT KIND OF MILEAGE
DOES THIS BABY GET?

IT'S LIKE WHAT HIGH SCHOOL
KIDS TAKE TO PROM ON TV SHOWS.

THIS IS SO TYPICAL
OF MANAGEMENT

TO SPEND MONEY ON THIS.

UH, THEY'RE A BUNCH OF BOOBS.

HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, OSCAR,

BUT SOME OF US LIKE BOOBS.

CALVES, CALVES ALL THE WAY.

I'M SO JEALOUS RIGHT NOW.

HEY, YOU KNOW
WHO YOU SHOULD BE JEALOUS OF?

YOURSELF
BECAUSE YOU'RE INVITED,

AND YOU'RE INVITED,
AND YOU'RE INVITED,

AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU,
AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU--

- CAR SEATS EIGHT.
- AND YOU--WHAT?

- THE CAR SEATS EIGHT.
- THE LIMO SEATS EIGHT.

OKAY, THEN JIM AND PAM,
AND RYAN PLUS A GUEST.

- NO THANKS.
- NO.

I'LL USE IT WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

[humming]

- I'LL GO--
- ME.

WHOA...

THE DUNDER MIFFLIN
STOCK SYMBOL IS DMI.

DO YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT STANDS FOR?

DUMMIES, MORONS,
AND IDIOTS

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT
YOU'D HAVE TO BE TO OWN IT.

AND AS ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS,

I BELIEVE THE BOARD
OWES ME ANSWERS.

IF I GIVE YOU TEN BUCKS,
CAN I SIT INSIDE?

I HAD TO NARROW IT DOWN

TO A COMBINATION
OF WHO COULD FIT

AND WHO WANTED TO COME.

[IN A BRITISH ACCENT]
LIFESTYLES

OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

[IN A BRITISH ACCENT]
OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

UH, DRIVER, PULL OVER.
THIS IS MY STOP.

I WISH THE WINDOWS
WEREN'T TINTED

SO PEOPLE COULD SEE US IN HERE.

I HAVE ARRIVED.

ACTUALLY, I WILL BE ARRIVING--

DRIVER, WHEN DO WE ARRIVE?

ABOUT TWO HOURS.

SEE, THAT'S THE THING
ABOUT A LIMO:

YOU'VE ACTUALLY ARRIVED
BEFORE YOU EVEN ARRIVED, RIGHT?

HEY GUYS, DO YOU THINK ANYONE
MIGHT HAVE HAD SEX IN HERE?

- DEFINITELY.
- SOUNDS LIKE IT.

DEFINITELY.

LOOK, THEY GOT PILLOWS.

THAT, THAT'S BIGGER
THAN MY BED.

- WORD!
- YEAH, YEAH!

WHO'S PLAYING
WITH THE BUTTON?

MICHAEL, WHAT IF SOMEBODY
ASKS YOU A QUESTION

AT THIS MEETING?

ARE YOU JUST GONNA WAVE
OR WHAT?

I WILL HAVE TO ANSWER.

- I'LL ASK YOU A QUESTION.
- MAKE IT A SOFTBALL.

SOMETHING HE CAN, LIKE,
CRANK OUT OF THE PARK.

MICHAEL SCOTT, YOU RUN
THE MOST PROFITABLE BRANCH

OF DUNDER MIFFLIN,
HOW DO YOU DO IT?

NO, NO, THAT'S TOO HARD.

SAY YOUR NAME IS ZAMBONI,
AND THEN I WILL SAY,

"WELL, WE'RE SORT OF
ON THIN ICE."

I WON'T SAY THAT,
I'LL SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

HEY, RYAN, COULD YOU START CONSOLIDATING

ALL OF OUR ROLODEX INFORMATION
INTO OUTLOOK?

UH, IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE
THERE'S MUCH OF A POINT

IF THE COMPANY'S GOING UNDER.

BUT IF THE COMPANY
DOESN'T GO UNDER,

THEN WE'LL FINALLY HAVE ALL
OUR CONTACTS IN ONE PROGRAM.

THE COMPANY'S PROBABLY
GOING UNDER, THOUGH.

IT COULD GO EITHER WAY.

SEEMS LIKE
IT'S LEANING ONE WAY.

MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST WAIT
AND FIND OUT.

- DEFINITELY.
- OKAY.

SO SHOULD WE WAIT TO FIND OUT

BEFORE WE START DOING
ALL THIS STUFF?

NAH, MIGHT AS WELL DO IT NOW.

YES, IT'S TRUE THAT THIS ALL
MIGHT BE A WASTE OF TIME

IF THE COMPANY GOES,
AND LORD KNOWS

I DON'T WANT
TO WASTE RYAN'S TIME.

MICHAEL, WAKE UP.
WE'RE HERE.

- WHAT?
- WAKE UP. YO, YO, YO.

OH, COME ON.

YOU GUYS LET ME FALL ASLEEP
IN THE LIMO?

YOU GOT FAST FOOD?

- GUYS.
- IT WASN'T THAT GOOD.

THE SUNDAES WERE GOOD.

- YOU GOT SUNDAES.
- MM-HMM.

WE'LL STOP AGAIN
ON THE WAY BACK.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.
TWICE IN ONE DAY?

- WHAT DO I GET? NOTHING?
- WHO CARES?

THIS IS YOUR BIG DAY,
COME ON. LET'S GO.

- WHOO!
- OH, MY GOD.

THIS IS IT.

ALL RIGHT.

- MR. SCOTT?
- YES.

- I'M LAURIE.
- OH, HI.

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.
COME WITH ME.

WELL, THANK YOU,
AND PLEASE CALL ME--

- CONTINUE TO CALL ME MR. SCOTT.
- OKAY.

IF YOU JUST WANNA FOLLOW ME,
I'LL TAKE YOU UP TO THE LOUNGE.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S AS FAR
AS I CAN TAKE YOU GUYS.

- SO...
- GOOD LUCK, MICHAEL.

SEE YOU LATER.

OFFICERS.

- THANK YOU.
- RIGHT HERE, MR. SCOTT.

THANK YOU.

- MICHAEL.
- HELLO.

- SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
- THANK YOU.

HOW WAS THE RIDE?

OH, IT WAS AWESOME.

- VERY, VERY SUBLIME.
- I'M GLAD.

I WANT TO INTRODUCE YOU
TO EVERYONE.

UH, FIRST WE'LL START
WITH ALAN BRAND.

ALAN, CEO, MICHAEL SCOTT,
BRANCH MANAGER, SCRANTON.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, MICHAEL.

NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.

IT'S AN HONOR AND A PRIVILEGE.

AND SEATED, WE HAVE
THE FORMER CONGRESSMAN

CHRIS O'KEEFE.

AH, YOUR EMINENCE.

FOR THOSE OF YOU
WITH QUESTIONS,

PLEASE LINE UP BEHIND
ONE OF THE FOUR MICROPHONES

THAT HAVE BEEN PLACED
IN THE AISLES.

COMING THROUGH.
CHE, CHE, CHE, CHE!

[clears throat]

EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.

EXCUSE ME.
EXCUSE ME.

AHH, DAMN IT.

WHAT--OKAY.
[grunts]

I WAS HOPING TO LOB MICHAEL
A SOFTBALL QUESTION EARLY.

I WANTED TO SWING BY
THE GARMENT DISTRICT

AND PICK UP A FEW CRATES
OF MY SHIRTS.

I GOT A SHIRT GUY.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

THE MONEY THEY
SPENT ON THIS CONVENTION HALL.

EXCUSE ME, MISS.

I JUST WANT TO TAKE THOSE
STUPID BOARD OF DIRECTORS

BY THEIR NECKS.

- THIS IS SO SIMPLE.
- OH, YEAH.

WELL, YOU SHOULD DO THAT.
GET IN LINE.

OH, WHAT A GREAT IDEA.
AND LOSE MY JOB?

NO, THANK YOU.

LOOK, DON'T YOU WANNA BE ABLE
TO TELL YOUR GRANDKIDS

YOU STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF

DURING AMERICA'S
BIGGEST FINANCIAL CRISIS?

HOW IS HE
GONNA HAVE GRANDKIDS?

YOU GUYS EVER
PROTECT THE PRESIDENT?

NO.

WHAT ABOUT MADONNA?

OR THE OBAMA TWINS?
ANYBODY FAMOUS?

WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

NELLY FURTADO.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

ARE YOU READY?

* ROCK AND ROLL ♪

[crowd booing]

DUNDER MIFFLIN IS STILL
A STRONG COMPANY.

WE ARE POISED
TO COME THROUGH THIS

MORE STREAMLINED AND PROFITABLE
THAN EVER.

[overlapping shouting]

THIS IS NOT AS MUCH FUN
AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

IT WAS FUN WHEN WE WEREN'T
ON THE BRINK OF BANKRUPTCY.

WE'RE GOING BANKRUPT,
YOU THINK?

[overlapping shouting]

THEY ARE REALLY ANGRY.

THE SHAREHOLDERS NEED
TO EMPOWER OUR LEADERSHIP...

I'M JUST GONNA RUN
TO THE BATHROOM.

WILL YOU SAVE MY PLACE?

- SURE.
- NO.

- YOU WILL NOT.
- EXCUSE ME?

OH, I'M SORRY,
WERE YOU RAISED IN A HOUSEHOLD

WITH NO CONSEQUENCES?

IT'LL JUST BE A SECOND.

OH, IF ONLYS AND JUSTS
WERE CANDIES AND NUTS,

THEN EVERYDAY
WOULD BE ERNTEDANKFEST.

THERE ARE MANY THINGS
TO BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT

IN DUNDER MIFFLIN'S FUTURE,

AND ONE OF THEM IS HERE
WITH US TODAY.

MICHAEL SCOTT,
SCRANTON BRANCH MANAGER.

[applauding]
YES!

IN THESE UNCERTAIN TIMES,
MICHAEL HAS MANAGED

TO MAINTAIN STEADY PROFITS
FROM HIS SCRANTON BRANCH.

WE ALL THANK YOU, MICHAEL.

[minimal applause]

ANOTHER BRIGHT SPOT IN
THE DUNDER MIFFLIN LANDSCAPE,

OUR NEW WASTE-PULP
RE-PURPOSING PLANT IN MILFORD.

[applause]

HEY, PHYLLIS, ARE YOU JUST
GETTING BACK FROM LUNCH NOW?

BOB TOOK ME TO CAPELLO'S.

WE GOT A LITTLE TIPSY.

OKAY, SHOULDN'T BE
TELLING ME THAT STUFF

AND ALSO SHOULDN'T BE
TAKING TWO HOUR LUNCHES

WITHOUT TELLING ME.

OH, IT'S OKAY,
MICHAEL DOESN'T REALLY CARE

ABOUT THESE THINGS.

I CARE ABOUT 'EM,

AND I'M JUST AS MUCH OF A BOSS
AS MICHAEL.

[laughter]

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
I'M A CO-MANAGER.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BOSS.

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CAN
FIRE PEOPLE OR ANYTHING.

WELL, WHO--HOW DID YOU--
WHO TOLD YOU THIS?

- WE CAN'T SAY.
- RYAN.

SORRY, I'M PLASTERED.

OKAY, WHO ELSE
HAS HEARD THE RUMOR

THAT I AM NOT AS MUCH IN CHARGE
AS MICHAEL?

STUFF GETS AROUND.
I DON'T PARTICIPATE.

WHO HERE HEARD IT
FROM RYAN?

- DOES AN EMAIL COUNT?
- YES.

THEN YEAH.

I AM JUST AS MUCH OF A BOSS
AS MICHAEL,

AND I CAN DO ANYTHING
THAT MICHAEL CAN DO.

ALL RIGHT.

WHO HERE BELIEVES THAT I HAVE
AS MUCH POWER AS MICHAEL?

I FORGOT I HAVE
TO SUPPORT HIM NO MATTER WHAT.

CLOSE ONE.

BUT NO, JIM DOESN'T
HAVE VERY MUCH POWER.

IT'S A TOUGH OFFICE.

HE SHOULD, FOR SURE.
HE'S EARNED IT.

OKAY, HERE'S THE THING.
WHAT IS A CO-MANAGER?

MOVE IT UP, BUDDY.
COME ON.

I WAS THE SHORTEST EVER
LINE LEADER IN PRESCHOOL.

I WAS 3'2",

BUT I WAS IN CHARGE
OF KEEPING CHILDREN UP TO 3'6"

IN A SINGLE FILE.

THEY HATED ME, BUT
I WASN'T THERE TO MAKE FRIENDS.

MOVE IT.

THESE QUESTIONS
ARE BUSH LEAGUE.

YOU SHOULD GET UP
AND SAY SOMETHING.

YOU GOTTA BE TRUE
TO WHAT'S IN THERE.

DON'T BE A WUSS.

OSCAR, THINK ABOUT IT.

DON'T YOU WANT TO BE ABLE
TO TELL YOUR GRANDKIDS

THAT YOU STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF?

ASSUMING YOU FIND A SURROGATE

AND THEN YOUR SON
FINDS A SURROGATE.

THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT OUR PLAN...

IF YOU GO, I'LL GO.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
LET'S DO IT.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN THE GUY

WHO CAN RALLY OTHER PEOPLE
TO REBEL.

IN HIGH SCHOOL,
I ORGANIZED A WALKOUT

OVER STANDARDIZED TESTING.

GOT OVER 500 STUDENTS
TO JUST SKIP THE SATS.

AT THE LAST SECOND,
I CHICKENED OUT.

TOOK IT ANYWAY.
GOT A 1220.

ALWAYS REGRETTED IT.

I FEEL LACHRYMOSE.

BELIEVE ME, EVERYONE
IS WORKING VERY HARD,

WORKING WEEKENDS, STRUGGLING,
TRYING TO RIGHT THE SHIP.

YOU'RE CRIMINALS!

- [overlapping shouting]
- HEY, HEY, HEY!

I'M SORRY.
THESE ARE NOT CRIMINALS.

THEY'RE NICE.

THEY INVITED ME
TO COME HERE TODAY.

THEY INVITED ME TO THEIR
HOSPITALITY SUITE,

WHERE I HAD FREE FOOD,
AND IT WAS DELICIOUS.

GET THIS.
YOU KNOW HOW NICE THEY ARE?

THEY SENT A STRETCH LIMO

ALL THE WAY TO PICK ME UP
IN SCRANTON.

- LIMOUSINE?
- YES.

YOU'RE ALL CORRUPT.
YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL!

QUIET!
QUIET, PLEASE!

PLEASE, QUIET!
QUIET, PLEASE.

WE WANT TO HEAR YOUR QUESTIONS.

DO YOU LOVE HER,
OR DO YOU LOVE THE IDEA OF HER?

I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I GOTTA MAKE AN EXAMPLE
OUT OF HIM.

SHOULD I JUST FIRE HIM?

CAN YOU ACTUALLY FIRE PEOPLE?

TO BE HONEST, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT MAYBE I COULD JUST YELL
AT HIM IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.

WELL, I CAN'T REALLY
IMAGINE YOU YELLING AT ANYONE.

OH, I YELL.
YOU'VE HEARD ME YELL.

OKAY.
I'VE HEARD YOU EXCLAIM.

LIKE THE TIME YOU SAID, "HEY
LOOK, WE PARKED OVER HERE."

WELL, THAT WAS
APPLE PICKING DAY.

THERE'S NO NEED
TO YELL THAT DAY.

YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST EXCITED
TO FIND THE CAR.

PERFECT END TO A PERFECT DAY.

WELL, YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

SO WHAT I GUESS
WHAT MY QUESTION IS,

IS HOW EXACTLY...
[microphone pops]

- THIS MIC ISN'T WORKING.
- I'M SORRY.

WHY DOESN'T YOUR LINE JUST JOIN
IN WITH THAT LINE OVER THERE?

- PLEASE. THAT'S FINE.
- WAIT, WAIT. WHAT?

JOIN IN?
NO, THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

NOT OKAY.
BACK OF THE LINE.

ALAN, YO.
HELP ME OUT HERE.

HELLO? OH, THANK YOU.
IT'S MUCH BETTER.

IT'S NOT OUR FAULT
THAT HER MIC IS BROKEN!

IS THAT BOARD MEMBER
WAVING AT YOU?

YEAH,
THAT'S MY UNCLE CHAUNCEY.

HI, UNCLE CHAUNCEY.

[chuckles]
HE'S HILARIOUS.

DOES AN INCREDIBLE
GERALD FORD IMPRESSION.

THAT'S JUST GREAT.

YOU KNOW, YOU NEVER MENTIONED

THAT YOU HAD A RELATIVE
ON THE BOARD.

MM, YEAH.
I GUESS NOT.

YOU'VE BEEN PUSHING ME
TO RISK MY JOB.

AND I'M GUESSING
THERE'S NO WAY IN THE WORLD

THAT YOU COULD EVER GET FIRED.

I COULD BE FIRED.

IT'S JUST MY DAD WOULD PROBABLY
THEN FIRE CHAUNCEY'S KID.

IT WOULD MAKE THANKSGIVING
PRETTY WEIRD.

WHAT?

YEAH, I HAVE AN UNCLE
ON THE BOARD, BIG DEAL.

I ALSO HAVE A GRANDFATHER
WHO'S DRIVING A ROLLS-ROYCE

AROUND THE WORLD
AND A COUSIN

WHO'S GONNA BE THE NINTH
COMMERCIAL SPACE TOURIST.

NOT EVERYTHING IS RELEVANT.

OKAY, WE'RE GONNA TAKE
A 15-MINUTE BREAK,

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA
ANSWER MORE QUESTIONS.

YOU HAVEN'T SAID
ANYTHING YET,

AND WE'RE HEADED
FOR BANKRUPTCY.

[overlapping shouting]

YEAH, WELL,
THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

WE'LL BE BACK
WITH SOME ANSWERS.

WHAT?
WHAT ANSWERS?

I--OKAY, I KNOW,
THAT YOU'RE MAD AT ME

AND YOU'RE MAD
AT ALL OF THEM--

HOW ARE YOU GONNA FIX
THE COMPANY?

OKAY, ALL RIGHT...
[cheers and applause]

ALL RIGHT, WE ARE GONNA--
WE'RE GONNA GO OUT THERE

DURING THIS BREAK, AND WE ARE
GONNA COME BACK WITH A PLAN.

WE'RE GONNA COME BACK
WITH A PLAN FOR YOU.

IT'S A 45-DAY PLAN.

45 DAYS TO GET US
BACK ON TRACK.

YEAH!
[applause]

45 POINTS.

IT'S A 45-DAY, 45-POINT,
ONE POINT PER DAY.

WE GET 45 POINTS,
WE'RE BACK IN BUSINESS.

[cheers and applause]

AND YOU CAN TAKE THAT
TO THE BANK.

AND LIMO LADY,

WE ARE GOING COMPLETELY
CARBON NEUTRAL.

[cheers and applause]

I LOVE YOU, NEW YORK!

YOU! YOU!

HEY, RYAN, HOW'S IT GO--

HERE'S THE THING, UM,

I'VE TRIED IT, LIKE, FIVE
DIFFERENT WAYS IN MY HEAD,

AND--OH, GOT ONE,

UM, I'M SUCH A PERFECTIONIST
THAT I'D KINDA RATHER

NOT DO IT AT ALL
THAN DO A CRAPPY VERSION.

IT'S SIMPLE DATA ENTRY, THOUGH,

SO THERE'S REALLY
ONLY ONE WAY TO DO IT.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE A REALLY
SPECIFIC VISION FOR IT.

DO YOU WANNA MAYBE
JUST TAKE A WHACK AT IT?

HOW DO I PUT THIS?

IT'S HARD FOR ME TO GET IT UP

FOR A SYSTEM
I THINK IS CORRUPT,

AND CAPITALISM IS CORRUPT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?
- WHAT?

- I THINK I KNOW THE PROBLEM.
- GREAT.

- I THINK YOU SEEM DISTRACTED.
- YEP, THAT IS THE PROBLEM.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
I CAME UP WITH SOMETHING.

AND I THINK
IT'S REALLY GONNA HELP.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE
FINALLY BEING PROACTIVE, JIM.

I AM TOO.
LET ME SHOW YOU.

WOW, THINGS ARE
REALLY PICKING UP.

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

- WHAT?
- YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO WAVE.

I DID WAVE.
I DID A LOT MORE THAN WAVE.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED
TO TELL THEM NOW?

OKAY, YOU'VE DUG US
QUITE A HOLE.

WE TELL THEM THE PLAN,
RIGHT?

THERE IS NO PLAN.

THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY OUT, ALWAYS.

WHAT DOES A RABBIT DO WHEN
IT CATCHES ITS LEG IN A TRAP?

IT CHEWS ITS OWN LEG OFF.

AND WHAT DOES THAT
LEAVE BEHIND?

A RABBIT'S FOOT,
AND THAT'S LUCKY.

AND THAT'S WHAT I FEEL LIKE
RIGHT NOW,

THAT I HAVE
A LUCKY RABBIT'S FOOT.

HERE'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.

THE 45-DAY THING THAT
I OUTLINED, WE GO WITH THAT.

DAY 45: COMPANY SAVED.

DAY 44, GO.
WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

- WE HAVE 15 MINUTES.
- EXCUSE ME?

JUST WHATEVER COMES TO MIND,
SHOUT IT OUT.

WHO THE HELL IS THIS GUY?

I AM THE GUY
WHO ROUSED THAT CROWD...

- YES...
- GOT 'EM ON THEIR FEET.

- YES.
- THEY WERE SO HAPPY

- DOWN THERE.
- YES.

WHO CARES?

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I KNOW A GUY--
THIS MEXICAN GUY.

HE IS A MATH WHIZ;
HE KNOWS ECONOMICS

AS WELL AS
HE KNOWS BULLFIGHTING,

AND I AM GOING
TO CALL IN A LITTLE FAVOR.

NO, NO,
DON'T CALL ANYBODY, MICHAEL.

WELL, I'M TEXTING HIM, SO...

PLEASE DO NOT
TEXT ANYBODY NOW.

MICHAEL.

IT'S DONE.

[phone buzzing]

OH, THERE HE IS.

COME ON IN.
COME ON IN.

GENTLEMAN, I WOULD LIKE YOU
TO MEET OSCAR--COME ON IN.

DON'T BE SHY.

THIS IS OSCAR MARTINEZ.

OSCAR, WHY DON'T YOU
COME OVER HERE?

LET ME PRESENT YOU.
STEP UP. STEP UP THERE.

OSCAR IS
AN ACCOUNTANT EXTRAORDINAIRE

AT THE SCRANTON BRANCH,

AND HE HAS A WONDERFUL IDEA
AS TO HOW TO GET US OUT

OF THIS MURKY, MURKY SITUATION.

TAKE IT AWAY.

I THINK
THIS IS REALLY GONNA HELP.

IF YOU CAN JUST
HOLD UP HERE ONE SECOND.

HEY, GUYS,
JUST A QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT.

IF I COULD HAVE
EVERYONE'S ATTENTION.

I JUST FIGURED
YOU NEEDED A PLACE

WHERE YOU COULD CONCENTRATE

AND NOT BE BOTHERED
BY BOTHERING PEOPLE.

- OKAY.
- LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN.

YOUR NEW OFFICE.

HOW GREAT IS THAT, RIGHT?

FOR A JOB WELL DONE.

WELL, NOT DONE.

I WILL--UH, I WILL
DO MY WORK RIGHT NOW.

- I WILL STAY LATE TONIGHT.
- RIGHT.

UM, I'M VERY SORRY
ABOUT EVERYTHING.

YOU'RE A GOOD KID.
YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT GETS BIGGER
ONCE YOU'RE IN THERE.

ENJOY IT.

IS THERE INTERNET?

UM...

TELL THEM WHAT YOU TOLD ME.
THIS IS GENIUS.

TELL THEM ABOUT THE CASH FLOW.

AND THE DUMPING OF PROPERTIES.

AND THIS IS ALL...

- UM...
- IT'S ALL GOOD.

IT'S ALL GOOD STUFF.
LAY IT ON 'EM.

I FEEL, AS DOES MR. SCOTT,

THAT WE ARE
IN THE BEST OF HANDS--

UH, CAPABLE HANDS--

THAT WASN'T
WHAT YOU WERE SAYIN' TO ME.

HE WAS MUCH MORE ARTICULATE,
AND THAT WAS BETTER.

- THAT'S--
- MUCH BETTER.

I THINK THIS HAS GONE
VERY WELL.

- I--
- AND I THANK YOU.

OKAY...

HEY, HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

MICHAEL, I DIDN'T ASK
TO COME UP HERE.

WOW, MAN, THAT--
THAT WAS EMBARRASSING.

- FOR ME.
- FOR ME TOO.

- FOR YOU?
- YOU EMBARRASSED ME.

YOU...
HMM.

WELL...

THAT WAS A WASTE OF A TEXT.

LET'S GET DOWN TO BRASS TACKS.

I THINK
THAT WE MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE.

WE DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A PLAN,
SO I'M THINKING,

I GO DOWN THERE,
MAYBE RATTLE OFF A FEW JOKES.

CONGRESSMAN COULD FOLLOW.

HE'S OUR BEST MANAGER?

WHERE'S THE OFF BUTTON
ON THIS MORON?

UH, I'M NOT A MORON.

TIME AFTER TIME,
MY BRANCH LEADS IN SALES.

I HAVE PERSONALLY WON
OVER 17 DUNDEE AWARDS,

SO I AM NOT A MORON.

AND I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP,
YOU KNOW, SO...

YOU'RE THE MORON.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS,
WE HAVE TO GET BACK DOWNSTAIRS.

YES, WE DO,
SO LET'S DO THIS THING.

MICHAEL, WE'RE GONNA
TAKE IT FROM HERE, OK?

WITHOUT YOU.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL HOLD DOWN THE FORT
UP HERE.

I THINK
IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE BETTER

IF YOU WEREN'T HERE
WHEN WE GOT BACK.

OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

I...

I WILL BE ROCKING THE LIMO.

UH, HE CAN TAKE THE BUS.
HE'S HAD HIS LIMO RIDE.

THE GENTLEMAN IN THE GLASSES.

DWIGHT SCHRUTE.
SCRANTON BRANCH.

I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I HAVE BEEN STANDING

IN THIS LINE ALL DAY.

AND IF THIS LINE
IS ANY INDICATION

OF HOW THIS COMPANY
IS BEING RUN,

THEN WE ARE IN BIG TROUBLE.

[cheers and applause]

THANK YOU.

RIGHT. I KNOW.

AND I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I BELIEVE

THAT ARE OPTIONS OUT THERE.

A TAKE-A-NUMBER OPTION
LIKE THEY HAVE IN A DELI.

WHAT ABOUT LINE VARIETIES,
LIKE AN EXPRESS LINE,

FOR QUICK COMMENTS
OF TEN WORDS OR LESS?

THEY CAN MOVE
MUCH MORE EFFICIENTLY.

WHAT ABOUT ROPES ALONG THE
LINES THAT YOU CAN HOLD ON TO?

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS.

YES.

YES, IT IS A THRILL
TO BE HONORED BY ONE'S COMPANY.

TO HAVE THE PEOPLE
THAT YOU WORK FOR

STOP FOR A MINUTE AND SAY,

"WOW, GREAT JOB."
THAT'S WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

THAT IS WHAT IT IS ALL ABOUT.

NOT THE PERKS.
THE PERKS--

THE PERKS, I COULD
TAKE OR LEAVE THE PERKS.

OSCAR!
OSCAR, COME ON!

BUT LIMOS ARE FOR PEOPLE
WHO MAKE THE COMPANY MONEY,

NOT LOSE MILLIONS
AND HAVE NO PLAN,

SO WE'RE LEAVING EARLY.

- WHOO-HOO!
- GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

GO, GO GO, GO!

[cheering]

DID YOU STEAL THAT?

AFTER ALL,
WE ARE THE ONLY ONES

WITH ANYTHING TO CELEBRATE.

all: SCRANTON, SCRANTON,
SCRANTON, SCRANTON!

[cheering]

DUNDER MIFFLIN!

UM, I HAVE A DENTIST
APPOINTMENT TOMORROW MORNING.

IT'S BEEN SCHEDULED A WHILE,

AND I MIGHT BE
A FEW MINUTES LATE.

OKAY, THANKS FOR TELLING ME.

IT'S JUST
I THINK I HAVE A CAVITY,

AND I DON'T WANT IT
TO GET ANY WORSE.

- THAT'S NO PROBLEM.
- OKAY.

I'LL JUST CANCEL IT.

OH, I'LL CANCEL IT.

OH, WAKE UP, MIKEY.

COME ON, LITTLE ANGEL.

HOME AGAIN, HOME AGAIN.
JIGGITY JIG.

- OH, OKAY.
- MMM.

OH, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.

GUYS, COME ON.

IT'S OKAY.
I GOT YOU SOME.

NO, BUT I WANTED TO EAT IT

WHILE WE WERE DRIVING
IN THE LIMO.

- THAT'S THE WHOLE THING.
- IT JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.

- HOW MANY MINUTES DO WE HAVE?
- ONE.

OKAY.

OH.

MMM, THAT'S PRETTY--
[gags]

- WHAT FLAVOR IS THAT?
- PISTACHIO.

- WHAT THE HELL, DWIGHT?
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO EAT IT.

NO, I'LL EAT IT.
I'LL EAT IT.

UGH!

[cheerful music]

♪ ♪

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