Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,279
Ah! Morning, sir. Ohh!
2
00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:45,239
I just love the hum of the air con first
thing in the morning. Don't you, sir?
3
00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,759
Makes you just wanna
leap out of bed and mop!
4
00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,639
- (DEJECTEDLY) Morning, Krytes.
- Oh, something wrong, sir?
5
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,239
Something getting you down?
6
00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,959
Is it that you're the last human being
alive with no life, no family,
7
00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,319
no future, no prospects, no hope, is it...
8
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,639
Is it something to do with that, sir?
9
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:03,360
Somethin' to do with that, Kryten, yeah.
10
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,399
You're missing the human race again,
aren't you, sir?
11
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,079
Really missing 'em today, Krytes.
12
00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,199
I just can't believe it's all over.
13
00:01:11,320 --> 00:01:13,056
I've been lookin' at
some old pictures of them,
14
00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,519
remind me of the old days.
15
00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,440
Look, there's a picture
of them going to work.
16
00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:17,480
Oh.
17
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:20,119
Commuters, mm.
18
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,280
There's another one. Look.
19
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,239
- They're all laughing.
- Oh!
20
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,759
New Years, Titan.
21
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,239
We were so happy back then, Kryt.
22
00:01:27,359 --> 00:01:30,358
I had a species, I thought
the two of us'd be together for ever.
23
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,959
Well, it may sound ridiculous now, sir,
24
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,399
but one day, I'm sure you'll meet another
species that'll make you just as happy.
25
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,559
No, I won't! No species'll make me happy
like the human race.
26
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,840
I'll never find another species
like them. They were...
27
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,199
They were special.
28
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,679
Sir, all I'm saying is
there are other species out there,
29
00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,999
and given time, who knows?
30
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:54,680
You never liked the human race, did you?
31
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,119
Quite honestly, sir, I never thought
they were good enough for you.
32
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,336
I never thought
they were very nice to you, sir.
33
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,959
Quite frankly, sir,
I think you could do better.
34
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,399
- What, better than the human race?
- Mm.
35
00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:09,519
It may sound harsh, but you've just
got to get them out of your mind
36
00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:10,879
and get on with your life.
37
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,839
Yeah, but everywhere I look
reminds me of 'em.
38
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,919
A couple of beers later on today, sir -
that'll take your mind off it.
39
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,319
The human race invented beer.
40
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,399
They were brilliant at inventin'.
41
00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,879
They invented sofas and blankets
and mops and floors and buckets.
42
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,679
I just miss them so much.
43
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,679
A change of scenery, sir,
that's what you need.
44
00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,919
Why don't you get out
and stretch your legs?
45
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,319
The human race had legs.
46
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:37,879
I just can't get away from them.
47
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,079
Everywhere I look, it reminds me of them.
48
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,839
Nothing compares to them.
49
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,959
♪ Nothing compares
50
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,439
♪ Nothing compares to them. ♪
51
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,199
I knew they'd break his heart.
52
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,559
Oh!
53
00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,638
Human race -
here one minute, gone the next.
54
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:55,839
Fly-by-night flibbertigibbets!
55
00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:00,079
Life.
56
00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,799
What's it all about, then?
57
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,919
Why are we all here? Why am I here?
58
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,839
What's the point of everything?
59
00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,759
I don't know, Dave.
60
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:11,119
White coffee, six sugars
and a caramel crisp bar coming right up!
61
00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,759
Haven't you ever thought about it?
62
00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:16,119
Not really, no. I'm a vending machine.
63
00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,519
Are you OK?
64
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:20,039
You don't seem your usual self today,
65
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,639
asking intelligent questions,
being philosophical.
66
00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:25,439
How d'you know
what my usual self is like?
67
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,759
I watch you.
68
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,239
Through the crack in your door.
69
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,039
The things you do when you're alone
are so funny!
70
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,239
(LAUGHS)
71
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,799
I've gotta get going.
72
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,239
See you next time!
73
00:03:38,360 --> 00:03:41,999
And if you want to talk things through
about life and stuff, drop by any time.
74
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,999
Oh, except Thursday morning.
I might be out.
75
00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:47,519
Just kidding!
76
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:50,239
I'll be here! (GIGGLES)
77
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,879
For ever!
78
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,959
Subbuteo tournament this weekend, Kryten.
79
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,839
Not going out in the quarterfinals
three years in a row.
80
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,279
Just putting the boys through their paces.
81
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,199
The flabsters don't know what's hit them.
82
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,559
Er, an e-post from the JMC
on-board computer, sir.
83
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,919
Oh, yes? What do they want?
84
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,016
They've had a significant amount
of letters over the years
85
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,239
from high-ranking members
of the JMC, sir,
86
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,639
proposing you to be awarded
87
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,639
the Golden Stripe Of Honour
for your years of distinguished service.
88
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,799
Gosh. Really?
89
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,199
They say they've been told you're a modest
man who doesn't seek the limelight,
90
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,719
for your only concern
is performing your duties.
91
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,159
I'm lost for words.
92
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,559
Such kindness.
93
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,976
They say, due to the number
of these letters of recommendation,
94
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,559
they have absolutely no option
but to request
95
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,438
you stop writing them.
96
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,919
Oh, bollocking damn and jumbo buggers!
97
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,999
They go on to say,
in dealing with this matter,
98
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:08,999
they've looked into your actual
service record and have realised
99
00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:13,759
that you haven't reported for duty
in over three million years.
100
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,599
But I've been dead for most of that!
101
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,879
You are therefore being charged
with gross dereliction of duty
102
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,839
and you have 24 hours
to present your rebuttal.
103
00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,079
What?!
104
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,319
If they find you guilty, sir,
you'll be demoted...
105
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,999
to third technician.
106
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,559
The same as Lister?
107
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,096
There'll be no-one but you to obey
my orders. What am I gonna do?
108
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:32,439
Help me. That's an order.
109
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,399
Oh, please, sir!
Don't order me to help you.
110
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,279
You know how much I hate helping you!
111
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,999
Kryten!
112
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,238
Very well, sir.
113
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,320
Perhaps you could get a note
from the medicomputer
114
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:45,039
explaining you're unfit for duty.
115
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,119
Post-traumatic stress or something.
116
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:51,279
I haven't been the same since the crew
got wiped out - need a note, post-dated.
117
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,879
Too unwell to attend myself.
118
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,159
Off you go.
119
00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:55,559
On my way, sir.
120
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:00,479
Ahh, you!
121
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:03,279
Still moping around in your mopey clothes,
122
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:07,159
listening to your mopey music,
being all mopey?
123
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:10,599
- If you want my opinion...
- Which I don't.
124
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,479
It's time you manned up.
125
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,919
Listened to some brass band music.
126
00:06:15,039 --> 00:06:17,158
Went for a bracing hike
in the diesel decks.
127
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:23,079
Given the options, I'll continue being
suicidal, if it's all the same to you.
128
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,679
And don't think this pity party's
going unnoticed.
129
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,239
I've noticed it.
130
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,679
And I've written it down
in a special report.
131
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,559
And let me tell you, m'laddo,
I pull no punches.
132
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,679
Who's gonna read this special report?
133
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:37,999
Well, me.
134
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,159
And maybe others... one day.
135
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,279
And they'll read,
136
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:45,839
"You are the star of your own mopeathon.
137
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:49,359
"You can't even be bothered
to get yourself a cup of tea any more.
138
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,559
"You dunk your biscuits in the fish tank."
139
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,159
I've seen you.
140
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,999
I was watching TV!
141
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:59,639
As long as it's wet and melty,
you don't care where you stick it.
142
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,639
Look, Rimmer, I'm depressed, man.
Give me a break.
143
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,119
And besides, I'm a careful dunker now.
144
00:07:06,239 --> 00:07:07,718
Look left, look right,
145
00:07:07,840 --> 00:07:09,799
mirror, signal, dunk.
146
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,799
It's time you stopped feeling sorry
for yourself, Lister.
147
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,158
Every problem has an answer.
148
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,399
Problem - your species is dead.
149
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,039
Answer - make some more.
150
00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:23,599
And how am I gonna do that?
151
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:25,799
Well, you've gotta prepare yourself,
haven't you?
152
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,279
Like a fighter pilot waiting to scramble.
153
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,839
If the perfect woman
walked through that door right now -
154
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:34,359
and by perfect, I mean
any female with working ovaries -
155
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:36,279
you wouldn't have a clue.
156
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,439
Perfect woman walked through that door,
I would be ready to scramble.
157
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,239
What, you think your old moves
would still work today?
158
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,519
You think that snaky, sneaky,
arm-round-the-shoulder trick
159
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,759
in a dark cinema is still cool?
160
00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,239
Women today
would die laughing at that move.
161
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:53,679
That was my best move.
162
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,799
I had a lot of success with that move.
163
00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,119
Women have moved on from that move.
164
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,759
Moves don't move on.
165
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:01,959
Moves move on.
166
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,399
What, moves move?!
167
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,919
Right, here's a Jacobean move.
168
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:07,119
A Jaca-what?
169
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,879
Oh, my lady!
170
00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,999
Thy beauty doth radiate across the Earth,
171
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:24,359
like a raging forest fire
consuming everything in its path,
172
00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:28,119
and reduces grown men to babbling fools.
173
00:08:31,799 --> 00:08:33,638
Do you think that move would work today?
174
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,799
Not a chance - dead move.
175
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:38,559
The cloak across the puddle - dead move.
176
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:42,238
Strumming a mandolin
under the balcony - dead move.
177
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,656
How d'you know all this, Rimmer?
You know nothin' about women.
178
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,199
You know nothin' about nothin'.
179
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,879
Remember that documentary
we watched about breasts?
180
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,039
You thought "areolas"
was a Spanish goalkeeper?
181
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,519
Well, what was he, Italian?
182
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,679
It's not important.
183
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,799
Look, you've either got it
or you ain't, and I've got it.
184
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,999
I'm gonna make meself a cup of coffee.
185
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:06,679
(THUD)
186
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,119
Right, abusing the furniture.
187
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,839
It's all going down.
188
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,119
Oh, thanks, 23.
189
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,759
I really needed a lift.
190
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,279
(FRENCH ACCENT) No problem, David.
191
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,119
How was zat soup I made you yesterday?
192
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,879
- It was, er... pretty delicious, actually.
- Ah, bon!
193
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,599
- I'm glad you enjoyed eet.
- Yeah, it was really nice.
194
00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:30,078
Magnifique!
195
00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:32,279
So, um... you look different.
196
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,599
Have you changed something? New facade?
197
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:37,599
Really suits you. You look, er... shinier.
198
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,599
No, same facade as always.
199
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:40,999
Could've sworn it's different.
200
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,998
- Maybe it's the light.
- Oui, maybe.
201
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,439
Oh, it's good coffee, this. Great coffee.
202
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,319
Some amazing coffee.
203
00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:51,400
I've always said to the others, you know,
if you want a good cup of coffee,
204
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,359
go to dispenser 23 -
she makes the best coffee.
205
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,519
- Are you 'itting on me?
- What? No!
206
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,799
I'm a vending machine -
why are you trying to 'it on me?
207
00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,680
- I'm not trying to hit on you.
- You so are.
208
00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,559
No, I'm not! I'm really not.
You just make good coffee, that's all.
209
00:10:04,680 --> 00:10:07,839
"New facade, you look shinier" -
zat was a move.
210
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,959
- It was not a move!
- It so was a move.
211
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,280
You were putting a move on me.
212
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,079
You're getting the wrong end of the stick.
It was not a move, now please!
213
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,336
Why are you 'itting on
a dispensing machine? Who does zat?
214
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,439
- I'm not! I mean...
- Is everything OK, sir?
215
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:22,359
You know what he just tried to do?
He was 'itting on me.
216
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:24,879
Hit... hitting on her! I mean...
217
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,056
of course I wasn't hitting on her -
she's a vending machine!
218
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,679
Why would I hit on a vending machine?
219
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,839
I-I'm sure there's been
some misunderstanding here.
220
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,439
He put his hand on my logo.
221
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:34,519
- (GASPS)
- What? When?
222
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,959
Look, I was leaning,
it was a total accident!
223
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:40,839
Oh, leaning and you just happened
to place your hand exactly on my logo.
224
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,999
"Oops, sorry, didn't notice it,"
he said, as he gently grazed my logo.
225
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,919
Unbelievable!
226
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,479
- This is gonna go in the report.
- (LISTER SIGHS)
227
00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,879
RIMMER: What news of my sabbatical?
228
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,520
KRYTEN: I'm afraid it's not good, sir.
229
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,519
The medicom said no? It's never liked me.
230
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:05,399
It's happy to give you a note
if you have a genuine reason for time off,
231
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,879
otherwise there's nothing doing.
232
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,519
Although I got the impression
a charitable donation to the medical fund
233
00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:13,199
might not go unnoticed.
234
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,639
Hmm. A little bribe.
235
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,439
Not a bribe, sir - a donation.
236
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:18,839
A big donation.
237
00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:22,039
Mm! Where you gonna get
major moolah like that?
238
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,399
Expenditure cuts, sir,
from the supplies budget.
239
00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,879
I've been looking at the ship's inventory
for potential savings,
240
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,279
and it seems to me, for a ship this size,
241
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,159
with this many
toilet-active crew members...
242
00:11:32,279 --> 00:11:34,798
Toilet-active crew members?
243
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:39,799
There's an astonishing amount
of toilet paper in the 2,1 43 restrooms
244
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,359
going to waste.
245
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:43,279
You what?!
246
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,999
Toilet paper that never goes into action,
never sees the field of battle.
247
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:49,439
- Return the toilet paper!
- Hang on.
248
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:52,119
Make the majority
of the restrooms paper-free.
249
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,519
I-I need that toilet paper!
250
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,279
Every sheet!
251
00:11:56,399 --> 00:12:00,078
I've got a diet
that's rich in fibre, curry and beer.
252
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,239
The savings would be insane.
253
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:06,359
We can get a reimbursement from Supplies
and transfer that to the medical fund.
254
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:10,079
As far as the supply budget is concerned,
we're just moving money around.
255
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,479
It's totally above board.
256
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,279
I'll get on it right away.
257
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,319
- Great plan.
- Lousy plan!
258
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,919
Buds, I've got a question for you.
What's the best way to break bad news?
259
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,480
Well, generally speaking, sir,
you tell the people to sit down
260
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,758
and warn them that you've got bad news.
261
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,639
And what kind of face you got on?
262
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,079
A serious face, sir.
263
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,559
Kindly but serious.
264
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,239
Huh! Kindly but serious.
265
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,759
That's what I thought!
266
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,159
I knew that!
267
00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:35,479
Thanks, bud!
268
00:12:40,120 --> 00:12:42,679
Buds, best you sit down.
I've got some bad news.
269
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:44,519
Whoa, what is it? What's happened?
270
00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,399
Is this about me? It's about me, isn't it?
271
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,319
I'm being replaced again, aren't I, sir?
272
00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,496
You know everyone's sitting down,
then you say something like,
273
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,880
- "Listen, I've got bad news," right?
- That's correct, sir.
274
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,439
OK, here comes the bad news.
275
00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,839
But I'm gonna do it as char-yades!
276
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:58,319
ALL: Char-aydes?
277
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,519
He means "char-ahdes", sir.
278
00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:03,679
You know how much fun
there is round here? None!
279
00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,799
It's too good an opportunity to miss.
280
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,558
OK, here we go.
281
00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,599
Remember, really bad news.
282
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:11,800
Two words.
283
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:12,999
KRYTEN: Whole thing.
284
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:16,599
Ho-hole. Er, black hole,
we're being sucked into a black hole.
285
00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:20,479
Er chameleonic mutants. Er, er, er,
brain-eating chameleonic mutants on board.
286
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,919
- A giant death worm!
- Something's happened to Kochanski.
287
00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,679
She's got a rogue virus.
288
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,976
- Rimmer's got a rogue virus.
- No, no, no.
289
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000
I've got a rogue virus?
290
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,840
- RIMMER: Er, explosion?
- Zombies, zombies!
291
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,119
I'm being replaced, aren't I, sir?
No-one likes me. People have complained
292
00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,000
- about the shape of my head.
- Strangling...
293
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:36,840
RIMMER: A giant death worm. Giant
death worm heading straight for us...
294
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,959
- Crash, something's crashed.
- (ALL TALK AT ONCE)
295
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,159
RIMMER: Heading straight for us.
I'm being demoted.
296
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:43,439
A woman! A woman's coming.
297
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,479
- A woman. Shorter.
- Small woman. Small. Male, man.
298
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:47,919
- Male.
- Post! Mail pod!
299
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:49,040
Mail pod!
300
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:50,336
- LISTER: Mail pod!
- KRYTEN: Mail pod!
301
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,696
- The mail pod's arrived!
- Mail pod's arrived!
302
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,256
LISTER: Brilliant, the mail pod's arrived!
303
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,776
- And something's happened to it.
- Something bad.
304
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,918
LISTER: It's crashed.
The mail pod's crashed.
305
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,976
- It exploded.
- It turned into a giant death worm.
306
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,576
- LISTER: It's turned into a jacket.
- A giant death worm's come out of it.
307
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,176
This is nothing to do
with a giant death worm!
308
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,656
Where were you getting
the giant death worm from?!
309
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:07,679
Oh! Your clothes... your clothes
were on a... on a washing line...
310
00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:09,016
- LISTER: Jacket.
- And mail pod came in
311
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,519
and crashed into your clothes!
312
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,239
Got it in one!
313
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,936
Your clothes are hanging on the line,
and the mail pod crashed into them?
314
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,119
How's that two words?
315
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,679
Cos when it happened, I said,
316
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,279
"Oh, man!"
317
00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,439
You know,
if I had a giant death worm right now,
318
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,479
I'd stick it right down
your stupid throat!
319
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:29,959
Hey, the mail's arrived!
320
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:32,359
Lighten up - mail from Earth!
321
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,119
Death worm?!
322
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,119
Two words!
323
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:51,599
That's the last one, sirs.
324
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:55,599
We must have sifted through
about a thousand letters now.
325
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:58,039
One letter from home,
that's all I'm asking -
326
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:00,319
just one lousy, stinking letter.
327
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:04,159
Look, 50 big ones
says the first letter's mine.
328
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,599
Why is everything a competition with you?
329
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,679
Why can't we just sit here
and sort the mail like two mature adults
330
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,239
instead of behaving like two schoolboys
who have to bet on everything?
331
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,719
Oh, yes, I've got one!
332
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,799
Arnold Rimmer!
333
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,319
The man, the myth, the legend!
Rimmsy, Rimmsy!
334
00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:28,839
Mr Popular with a capital P,
there's no stopping him, here he goes!
335
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,039
Who's it from?
336
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,399
It's a parking fine.
337
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,678
Still good.
338
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,879
Still a letter -
something to read addressed to me.
339
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,199
One-nil, Rimmsy.
340
00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:41,999
Is it? Can it be?
341
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,319
It can't be.
342
00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:44,599
Oh, but it is!
343
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,799
One-all! The comeback kid!
344
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:51,199
This boy does not know the meaning
of the word "defeat"!
345
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:52,759
One-all!
346
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,719
Go on, then, who's it from?
347
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,759
Hayley Summers?
348
00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,639
My God, Hayley Summers!
349
00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:01,399
Hayley Summers!
350
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,439
I'm guessing it's from Hayley Summers?
351
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,359
I used to go out with Hayley Summers.
352
00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:08,119
It's when I was trying to be a rock god.
353
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,639
What I lacked technically
I made up for in loudness.
354
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,279
I mean, when I played,
people had ringing in their ears.
355
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,919
How long for?
356
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,999
It didn't go away.
Once they had it, they had it for good.
357
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,319
That's how loud I was.
358
00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:24,039
So where did you meet her, then?
At a gig?
359
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,559
She worked in the bank
where I had my overdraft.
360
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:31,199
We got talking, and badda-boom,
badda-bish, badda-baa.
361
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,399
And, um, she dumped you, right?
362
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,160
No, she didn't dump me, actually, Rimmer.
363
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,839
She got offered a dream job on Callisto,
couldn't turn it down.
364
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,559
The only girl I ever cared about
who didn'tdump me, actually.
365
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,799
The time we had together
was brilliant, man.
366
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:47,439
We'd stay home all day Saturday,
watch zero-gee, eat curry in bed.
367
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,398
The first person I ever heard say,
"the real McCoy".
368
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:52,399
"That's the real McCoy," she'd say.
369
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:55,639
"This is the real McCoy.
That curry is the real McCoy."
370
00:16:55,760 --> 00:17:00,399
And she squidged up her nose, like that,
when she was telling a story.
371
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,839
No, no, it was really cute.
372
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:03,919
And did you used to tell your friends
373
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,519
about the real McCoy
and the squidgy nose thing?
374
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,799
And did you find your friends
were suddenly emigrating
375
00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,439
or pretending to be dead?
376
00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,519
Still smells of her perfume.
377
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:15,359
Look, I... I don't wanna read this.
378
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,040
It'll make me miss home more than ever.
379
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,279
I'll read it.
380
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,359
"Dear Dave, I hope
you don't mind me writing to you,
381
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,039
- "but I've got a confession."
- Confession?
382
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:29,239
Bet she was a man.
383
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:34,719
Well, you said yourself she liked zero-gee
and curries. Bet you she was a man.
384
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:36,519
Did she have big feet?
385
00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:41,319
When you did the foxtrot,
did you ever wonder why she was shaving?
386
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,839
Just-just tell me the confession.
387
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,439
- Oh, wow.
- What?
388
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:46,519
- No way!
- What?!
389
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,479
I don't know whether to laugh or laugh.
390
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,919
"Dave, I don't know how to tell you this,
391
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,279
"but I'm pregnant.
392
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,559
"Seven weeks, according to the doctor."
393
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,639
Pregnant? Hang on,
my head's on spin cycle here.
394
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,080
Are you saying that
I'm three million years into deep space
395
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,879
and she's pregnant with my baby?!
396
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,359
Well, put it this way -
you're in the finals.
397
00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:07,839
Finals? What d'you mean?
398
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,960
I mean, who's the other finalist?
Who am I playing?
399
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,079
Blah-blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...
400
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,639
"I don't know whether it's yours or Roy's.
401
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,439
"Thought you should know."
402
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:17,599
Roy?
403
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:20,519
Ah, not Roy?!
404
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,239
Not Roy Roy!
405
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:25,439
D'you mean she was sleeping with Roy?
406
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:27,919
Who's the dad, me or him?
407
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,559
She doesn't know,
she's going for a DNA test.
408
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,039
She must've written another letter
to tell me the result.
409
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,256
You've gotta help me find it, we need
to find this letter. Yellow envelope.
410
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,719
Yellow envelope!
411
00:18:42,360 --> 00:18:45,119
Hi, 34. Just having a break.
Coffee, please.
412
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:47,799
Oh, you want something
from me now, do you?
413
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,359
Yeah, coffee.
414
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,519
Don't play dumb, Dave.
I heard what happened.
415
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,319
- Happened?
- With dispensing machine 23.
416
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,599
You didn't think I'd find out, did you?
417
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,039
- What?!
- All those drinks
418
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,720
and chocolate bars you were getting
off me, and at the same time,
419
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,919
you were drinking her drinks and snaffling
up her choccy bars too, weren't you?
420
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,279
Weren't you?!
421
00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:09,638
She was just nearer.
422
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,199
She's such a trashy-looking machine.
423
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,839
Is that what you like, Dave? Trashy?
424
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,478
You all look identical!
425
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,399
- Ohh!
- Look, can I please just get a coffee?
426
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,136
- I'm out of coffee.
- I'll have a tea, then.
427
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,160
No tea.
428
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,438
Milkshake?
429
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:24,560
Let me just check.
430
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:26,399
Sorry, no milkshakes either.
431
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,399
Look, I'll go somewhere else, then.
You're not the only dispenser on board.
432
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,959
Why don't you do that?
I think it might be best all round.
433
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:35,239
Well, I will.
434
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:36,559
- Good.
- Fine.
435
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,519
- Suits me.
- Right, I'm off.
436
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:40,199
Not missing you already.
437
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,679
Coincidentally, no big deal,
but know your tea -
438
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,039
it's a bit watery.
439
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:48,959
And you know when I said that your Mexican
red-hot chilli crisps were really spicy?
440
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,319
Well, I was lying.
441
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,799
- I can't believe you said that!
- Well, I did.
442
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,399
Ohh!
443
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,879
How did it go with the medicomputer?
444
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,280
Well, it took the donation, sir.
445
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,519
And what did we get?
446
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,799
A thank you.
447
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,279
Is that it?
448
00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:17,976
I think it does this all the time, sir -
449
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,439
misleads unsuspecting bribers to get them
to give money to the medical fund.
450
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,959
That's outrageous!
451
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,679
Has it got no morals at all?
452
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:29,239
It repeated that the only way it could
give you an absence from duty note
453
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,839
was if you are unwell
454
00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:34,198
or you'd taken a sabbatical
to care for an unwell member of the crew.
455
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,878
Lister!
456
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,119
Post-traumatic stress.
Missing the human race,
457
00:20:38,239 --> 00:20:41,558
dunking biscuits in the fish tank,
totally off the rails.
458
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,800
Well, most of that could be dismissed
as eccentricity rather than illness, sir.
459
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:49,119
If you're going to use Mr Lister in your
defence, I fear you need something more.
460
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,399
Hmm.
461
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:55,519
One act of saliva-dripping, mouth-foaming
insanity by midnight tonight.
462
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,399
Shouldn't be too hard.
463
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,958
Hey, bud.
464
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:04,759
Alphabet Head told me what happened.
465
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,879
Come to check you out.
466
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:11,759
So, who is this Roy dude?
467
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,479
Used to work with her in the bank.
468
00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,319
He was always using the finger-wetting
machine to count the money.
469
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,999
Real creep.
470
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:20,759
Could I give you a bit of advice?
471
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,399
Don't think about them together.
472
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,679
- Just move on.
- Right.
473
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:28,719
Keep all those "them together" thoughts
right out of your head.
474
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,399
Yeah, right.
475
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,439
All the walking in the park,
kissing raindrops off her nose stuff -
476
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,559
don't think about any of that.
477
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,439
I used to love her nose.
478
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,958
She used to squidge it up
when she told stories.
479
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,839
And don't be tempted to wonder
if she squidged up her nose for him
480
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,480
in that really cute way
she used to squidge up her nose for you,
481
00:21:46,600 --> 00:21:48,719
cos the chances are, she did.
482
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,079
- You reckon?
- And another thing.
483
00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:55,878
Don't start thinking about all those
late-night shifts she was always doing,
484
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,159
because if it was me,
I'd be thinking, like, "Hey!
485
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,599
"Banks all close at five."
486
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,439
Yeah, she was always doing
late-night shifts.
487
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:08,079
You know, supervising the delivery
of the unstealable pens.
488
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,679
Or staying behind to help update
the bank queue waiting-pole rope.
489
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:17,519
Or accidentally locking herself
in the vault for the whole weekend.
490
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,079
She used to always do that.
491
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,359
Hey, you don't think
she was with this Roy guy?
492
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,999
The whole damn time.
493
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,519
- It never even occurred to me.
- But the key is,
494
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,439
don't think about it.
495
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:34,279
I'm not thinking about it.
496
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,760
- Think of something else.
- I'm thinking of something else!
497
00:22:36,799 --> 00:22:38,118
Good!
498
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,799
Cos if you start thinking about all those
hours you were sitting at home,
499
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,919
killing time, while she was probably
on all fours, covered in money...
500
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,959
while his finger-wetting machine
was working overtime...
501
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:57,999
it'll drive you crazy!
502
00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:02,639
Now, you get a picture like that in
your head, it's real hard to get rid of.
503
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:06,919
What you doing?
504
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,239
What d'you think I'm doing?
505
00:23:08,360 --> 00:23:09,680
I told you not to think about it!
506
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,959
I'm thinking about it now!
507
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:13,519
That's unbelievable!
508
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,719
You've not listened to a word I've said.
509
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:23,960
Still nothing, sir?
510
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,919
You know, I'm starting to think
she never even wrote a second letter.
511
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,119
Oh, sir, I know
this has stirred things up a bit,
512
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,319
but I really believe
you've got to live in the present.
513
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:35,599
You've got new friends now.
514
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:40,198
True, they may not be human, and some
of them are annoying and stupid and petty
515
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:41,799
and maybe even insane,
516
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,239
but that doesn't mean
they're any less precious.
517
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:48,799
You've got to forget about the past
and look after the present.
518
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:56,358
Hiya.
519
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:57,639
Oh, it's you.
520
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,959
This is awkward.
521
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,678
Look, I'm sorry about before.
522
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:03,359
I just wanna know if there's any way
I can make it up to you.
523
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,119
- Really?
- Yep.
524
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,039
Oh, Dave!
525
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,159
I don't know why we fight like this.
526
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,039
We're so silly!
527
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:12,519
So what's it to be, then?
528
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:14,799
New paintjob, new nozzle housings?
529
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,359
How about a restock?
530
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,399
- Anything?
- Anythin'. You name it.
531
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,279
Well, if I could have anything,
absolutely anything,
532
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:24,879
I've always wanted...
533
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,199
to see around the corner.
534
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,439
What, down there round the corner?
535
00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,279
Oh, I know it's crazy,
536
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,919
but it's always been a wild dream of mine.
537
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,639
I've heard stories,
but to actually see it myself...
538
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,639
I can't believe I'm actually going!
539
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:46,759
- Isn't this romantic?
- Well...
540
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,199
don't build your hopes up too much.
541
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:50,840
It might not be as great as you think.
542
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:52,999
Da-daaaan!
543
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:56,399
- Well?
- Oh! Ohhh!
544
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,678
It's everything I thought it was and more.
545
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,199
Oh! Oh, Dave.
546
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,079
Maybe we could stay here.
547
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,479
You and me.
548
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,679
I know it's... crazy,
549
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,999
but we could settle down here.
550
00:25:10,120 --> 00:25:12,439
Hm? Start a new life!
551
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,999
Oh, put me back there by the wall.
552
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,399
Oh!
553
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:21,039
- Oh, Dave!
- Smeg, sorry!
554
00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,799
I knew you'd come round, you naughty boy!
555
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,639
Rrrrar!
556
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,559
I'll get you up.
557
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,439
Oh! Dave!
558
00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:32,239
Dave! Naughty boy!
559
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:33,639
Wow!
560
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:35,919
I have never seen a ceiling.
561
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,040
(GIGGLES)
562
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:38,959
(LISTER GRUNTS)
563
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:49,959
Rimmsy, Rimmsy, Rimmsy!
564
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,439
Oh, yes! CCTV!
565
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:54,879
Sabbatical note, here we come!
566
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,616
What would you have me do with these, sir?
567
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,640
Ohh.
568
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,439
What did I tell you, sir?
569
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:09,439
I knew you'd find another species
to settle down with!
570
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:12,439
I'm just tryin' to pick her up.
571
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,839
Looks like you're well past
that stage to me, sir.
572
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:18,719
(GROANS)
573
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,319
Damn paper!
There's gotta be some somewhere.
574
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:27,919
Ahh!
575
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,479
Ooh! Guhh!
576
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,039
Damn near walked three miles!
577
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:35,799
Hey...
578
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,079
Uhhh!
579
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,479
Hee-hee-hee-hee!
580
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:42,959
Oh!
581
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,879
That's every letter checked, sir.
It wasn't there.
582
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,159
Oh, well. Thanks, Krytes.
583
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:52,759
Never mind, third technician!
584
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,719
Three decks, not one single roll!
585
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,159
Hey, that's mine.
586
00:26:58,280 --> 00:26:59,639
The hell it is. I found it.
587
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:01,479
I need it.
588
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,399
- Give it here!
- I need to wipe!
589
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,119
You see what you guys have done to us?
590
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:08,638
This is madness!
591
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,359
Madness!
592
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,159
That's my special report!
593
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,359
It won't be special in a minute.
594
00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,799
I've realised now this might be it.
595
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:26,599
This might be the answer
as to why I feel so empty.
596
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:30,359
I mean, if she had my kids,
that means my kids might have had kids.
597
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,159
There might be hundreds
of generations spawned by me.
598
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,000
I might have had a daughter
who was a doctor
599
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,559
or a great-great-great-great-great-
great-great-great-great-grandson
600
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,479
who was a zero-gee football star.
601
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:43,319
No matter what happens to me now,
602
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,879
I feel like I've contributed.
603
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,959
I am someone.
604
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:53,999
Man, I hope it's mine, because I know,
with her as a mother, they would have been
605
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:58,279
the best kids they could possibly be,
cos I mean, she was a wonderful woman,
606
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,479
and I'm sure she'd have been
an even more wonderful mother.
607
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:03,919
Wish me luck.
608
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:13,399
What an absolute slag.
609
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,359
♪ It's cold outside
There's no kind of atmosphere
610
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,479
♪ I'm all alone, more or less
611
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:30,919
♪ Let me fly far away from here
612
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:33,839
♪ Fun, fun, fun
613
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:37,519
♪ In the sun, sun, sun
614
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,999
♪ I want to lie
Shipwrecked and comatose
615
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,158
♪ Drinking fresh mango juice
616
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,799
♪ Goldfish shoals nibbling on my toes
617
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,479
♪ Fun, fun, fun
618
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:54,119
♪ In the sun, sun, sun
619
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,159
♪ Fun, fun, fun
620
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,959
♪ In the sun, sun, sun. ♪
621
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,599
(EXPLOSION)
47701
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
