All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E07 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously
On "Gilmore girls"...

I can't believe
How fast you're growing up.

I have an internship available
If you're interested.

An internship?

You don't got it.
I thought I was doing okay.

Rory's quitting yale.
What?!

Everything's falling apart.
I messed everything up.

I just don't know
What to do.

Rory will be taking
Some time off from yale.

She will be moving into
The pool house here with us.

And then, after
A suitable time has passed,

We will revisit the subject
Of her returning to school.

Your mom and I are engaged.

Engaged?

So I guess congratulations
Are in order?

So how are things
At the new digs?

You guys set a date yet?

A job's opened up
At our d.A.R. Office.

Your big plan for rory --
How's that going, dad?

Is she back at yale?

No, she's not.

What exactly happened
At that paper, mitchum?

I did what I do with everyone.
I called it like I saw it.

You crushed that girl!

Hello, lorelai.
Hey, dad.

We need to talk about rory.

What about rory?

I don't like
What I see in that girl.

My eyes?
She's lost focus.

She's drifting, aimless.

You know she's joined
The d.A.R.?
I saw the picture
In the paper.

She's running around,
Planning tea parties

Like she's the mad hatter.

All she talks about
Are seating charts and canapés

And fund-raisers
And that boy.

You mean logan?

She's heading
In the wrong direction,

And I don't like it.

Now, I've thought long
And hard about this,

And I've come
To a decision.

We need a plan.

But [exhales] We --

I had a plan.

You changed the plan.
Plan's gone, baby.

I don't appreciate
Your tone.

Apparently the proper tone
Went out with the plan.

Do you understand? Rory's not
Headed back to school.

Not yet, anyhow.

Not yet?
Not now, not ever.

Listen to me for just a moment.
We can fix this.

First of all, I can change
The terms of rory's trust fund.

Currently, she's set
To receive it when she turns 25,

But I say we tell her

It's contingent
On her returning to yale.

Or we can use
The opposite approach,

If you think it's better.

Maybe we offer her
A car

Or the down payment
On a town house.

Or I'll buy her
The town house.

If there's something in it
For her,

Maybe we can get her
To change her mind.

Thank you
For the dollhouse, dad.

It's greatly appreciated.

I don't believe this.
Aren't you listening to me?

Uh, no.

Lorelai, rory is turning
21 years old in 10 days.

Do you realize that?

Yes, dad, I realize it.

She's 21.
That's not a child.

21-year-olds need to be working
Towards something.

Rory will figure it out.

Oh, please, she's 21.
I couldn't tie my shoe at 21.

Well, rory's advanced. She had
The shoe thing down at 3.

I'm getting
A little tired --

No, I'm getting a little tired
Of this conversation.

I'm not interested
In your plan.

I'm not going to bribe my
Daughter with cars and money,

Mainly because
It wouldn't work,

And if you'd ever met rory,
You would know it wouldn't work.

Rory can't be bought, and I'm
Not gonna try and buy her.

I want rory to want
To go back to school.

She used to love to learn
And read and study.

And that was freakish,
But it was her.

And she's got to get herself
Back there.

But --

No, when rory wants help,
She will ask for it.

And the minute she does,
I will fly in faster

Than the gulfstream you're gonna
Offer to buy her next.

But until then, I'm sorry,
You're on your own.

Impossible girl.

My native american name,
I believe.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead
*

Unbelievable.
He's unbelievable.

He sure is.
How did he lift this thing?

Pretending like it's an accident
That rory's still floundering.

Nothing's an accident.

He caused this.
He made this happen.

It must weigh
A thousand pounds.

That was a low blow,

Bringing up rory's birthday
Like that.

"She's turning 21, lorelai.
Did you know that?"

[ scoffs ]
Of course I know that.

I was there
When she was turning nothing.

I know she's turning 21.

Does this thing have, like,
A real foundation or something?

It's just like my parents,
You know, to double-cross me

Then get mad when I won't help
Them undo the double cross.

Did he have guys
With him?
What?

Guys to help him
Lift this thing.
No, no guys.

No guys?
Your dad is hercules.

We had plans.
[ grunts ] What?

We were gonna go
To atlantic city.

We were gonna sit at
A blackjack table at 11:59,

We were gonna order
Martinis,

And we were gonna be playing 21
When she turned 21.

And then hopefully
We'd win,

And we'd take our winnings
And we'd buy 21 things.

And then there was a thing
About 21 guys

That wouldn't really
Be appropriate anymore

Since the engagement,

But it was a good plan.

She probably doesn't even
Remember the plan.

She remembers the plan.

It wasn't like we talked
About it every day.

It was just something
We thought of.

She remembers the plan.

I'm hungry.
I'm ordering pizza.

The top comes off.

Of course it does.

[ footsteps approaching ]

Happy birthday,
Little girl.

Hey.

I can't believe how fast
You're growing up.

Really? Feels slow.

Trust me, it's fast.

So, what do you think
Of your life so far?

I think it's pretty good.

Any complaints?

I'd like that whole humidity
Thing to go away.

I'll work on that.

So, do I look older?
Oh, yeah.

Walk into denny's before 5:00,
You got yourself a discount.

Good deal.

So, you know
What I think?
What?

I think you're
A great, cool kid

And the best friend
A girl could have.

Back at ya.

And it's so hard
To believe

That, at exactly this time
Many moons ago,

I was lying in exactly
The same position.

Oh, boy, here we go.

Only I had a fat stomach
And huge ankles

And I was swearing
Like a sailor...

...On leave.

On leave, right.
And there I was...

In labor...

And while there's some
Who call it

The most meaningful experience
Of their life...

...You compare it
To something more akin

To doing the splits
On a crate of dynamite.

Right.

I wonder if the waltons
Ever did this.

What?

I just had a dream

That madeleine albright
Was my mother.

Hmm.

[ sighs ]

Hey, there.

Oh, hi, sugar.

Couldn't see you
Over the bags.

Wow, you got a lot
Of stuff there.

You hunkering down
For winter?

Nah, we're getting our supplies
For our gallows.

Oh, yeah, you're gonna
Hang morey again?
Do it every year.

You're always the hit
Of the neighborhood.

What about you, honey?
What are you gonna do?

You know, the same thing
I always do.

Oh.

Gonna hang caramel apples
From the tree again?

The kids love 'em.
Yeah.

They're not that scary.

Well, to a diabetic,
They're downright terrifying.

Huh? Okay.
Caramel apples.

And I will be
Handing out candy,

Which, you know, is
The entire point of halloween.

Sure, honey.
Well, we got a lot to do.

We got to go.
No rest
For the doomed.

See you later.

You know, I-I-I bought
A haunted house cd

To play
In the background.

What time
Is our reservation?

Now.
Oh.

It's amazing what happens
When you can't find your keys.

I think we should
Order in tonight.

And the purse is down.

[ knock on door ]

Who is it?

Emily gilmore.

[ both chuckle ]

Coming, grandma.

I'm so sorry
To bother you, rory.

Hello, logan.
Hello, emily.

Rory, could you check
Your closets?

The maid hung up
Your dry cleaning today

And I am missing a blouse, and I
Want to know whether or not

To add this to the list
Of reasons I'm firing her.

Of course.
I'll be right back.
Thank you, rory.

I'm so exhausted
With incompetent people,

I don't know
What to do anymore.

I feel like every person I hire
Immediately gets hit in the head

With a mallet on their way out
Of the employment office.

Do you have anything
Special planned

For rory's birthday
Next week?

Uh...No, no plans.

Oh, good, because I would love
To throw her a party here.

A 21st birthday
Is so special.

But I didn't want to order
12 pounds of crab legs

If you had plans
To whisk her off to santorini.

No whisking plans
In the works.

Sorry, grandma,
Your blouse isn't in there.

Say, rory, how would you like
A birthday party next week?

Oh, well...

It doesn't have to be a big,
Formal affair.

Just something fun
With your friends

And a few of the d.A.R. Ladies,
Whoever you want.

Sure, grandma,
A party sounds fine.

I'll go right in
And call the caterers.

21 years old --
Time flies, doesn't it?

All right, you two,
Back to what you were doing.

Hey, grandma says.

So, a 21st birthday --
Big event.
I guess.

Would've been nice
If I had known about it.

Oh, I didn't
Tell you?
No.

I'm just not
Into birthdays.

You're not
Into birthdays?

You, who wore green head to toe
On st. Patrick's day

And bunny ears on easter?

I have stock in hallmark.
What's up, ace?

We should call the restaurant
If we still want to eat there.

Ace.
I'm just not excited about
This particular birthday.

Why not?

Because I'm turning 21.

Yes?

My mom and I have been planning
For my 21st birthday since --

Well, my first memory
Is kindergarten,

But I have a feeling she was
Talking about it before then.

We had this whole
Big thing planned.
Yeah?

We were gonna go
To atlantic city

And sit at a blackjack table
At 11:59,

And we'd be playing 21
When I turned 21.

We were gonna drink martinis
And win money and buy 21 things,

And there was this thing
Including 21 guys

That would be totally
Inappropriate

Now that I'm with you.

But it was
A pretty big thing, and --

And now we're not talking,
So it's not gonna happen.

I'm just a little bummed.
That's all.

I know you miss your mom.

The concept's a little hard
For me to grasp,

But I know you do.

Well, you never got
To know her.

She can be pretty cool.

Hey, I know. I'll take you
To atlantic city.

What?
We can still play 21
When you turn 21.

I'd still vote
To put the kibosh

On that thing
With the 21 guys.

But other than that,
I'm good to go.

You're sweet,
But it's okay.

Come on, I'll get a car --
21 cars, if you like.

No, I appreciate the offer
A lot,

But I'll just have the party
And let this birthday pass.

Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

And I'm hungry.
You ready to go?

Where did I put my keys?

Oh, I think I saw them
On the couch.

Here we go again.

You know,
When I was turning 21,

I somehow got it into my head
That I simply had to have

My invitations trimmed
With real pearls.

I could not be convinced

That it was at all tacky
Or impractical.

I was right, and that was
The way it had to be.

My mother
Was beside herself.

I never heard so much sighing
In my whole life.

But in the end,

She found me invitations
Lined with real pearls,

And I felt like the most
Important girl in the world.

So, come on, tell me --

Which ones are your
Pearl-trimmed invitations?

Rory!

Hmm?

You're supposed
To try them all.

What?
The cake.

Alfonso made us
Those samples.

The least we can do
Is try them all.

Oh, okay, sure.

Well, I like the lace.
Do you like the lace?
Sure.

All right.
The lace it is.

Now, the food.

I think we should go buffet --
Much more youthful.

And what do you think
Of sushi?

Sushi feels young,
Doesn't it?

I certainly hope so.

You don't want any old sushi
Hanging around.

Now, we'll have a bar,

Heaters on the patio
To stem the crowd.

Oh, do you want a special
Tray-passed drink,

Like a sidecar maybe
Or a gin fizz?

I used to love
A nice gin fizz.

Am I boring you?
No, the lace is fine.

Rory, where is
Your head today?

I don't know.
I'm sorry.

There are a million other
Details I need to go over here.

Would you like me
To just do it myself?

Um, sure.
You've got great taste.

I trust you completely.

All right.

Then the only thing
I need from you

Is a little guidance
On the guest list.

Now, I have the information for
The d.A.R. Ladies, of course,

And logan --
I have logan's information.

I believe I have the address
Of your asian friend.

Lane.
She hasn't moved?

Not that I know of. She'll want
To bring her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend?
How wonderful.

Rory's asian friend...

Lane.

...Has a boyfriend.

Now, what about paris?

Are you two friends?
I never really could tell.

Paris should be
On the list.
Then paris
Is on the list.

She'll want to bring
Her boyfriend, too.

My goodness. I guess
There's something in the air.

I have the cheevers,
Your cousins from bridgeport.

Now, do you want me to put
Your mother on this list?

Mom?

It's up to you.
I just thought I should ask.

Yes,
Put mom on the list.

All right.
She's on the list.

And the chocolate praline crunch
Is the cake.

A chocolate praline
Crunch cake.

A chocolate praline
Crunch cake

Completely covered
With pearls.

Ah, to be 21 again.

Wow!
Looks great, guys.

[ laughs ] Yeah, we made it
Bigger this year.

And we added a great new light
Effect to help morey's face

Look more distorted
When he drops

Because, you know,
When you really get hanged,

Your eyeballs
Sometimes explode

And your tongue splits
Down the middle.

It's disgusting.
Wanna see?

Uh --
Morey, shake a leg.

Okay.

All set.

Okay!
Bombs away!

Now, remember, you got
To twitch around a lot,

Make the kids think you're dying
Real slow and painful.

Obviously there'll be
Some blood shooting out,

But you get the picture.

I-I-I do.

Babette?
Tight, babe.

Do you need help,
Babette?

Oh, no, as soon
As he passes out,

His muscles relax and I
Can slide him right out.

Okay.
See you guys later.

Luke, are you here?
In the kitchen.

Where's paul anka?
He didn't meet me at the door.

Peas scare him.

Really? Huh.

Peas?
Cooked or raw?

Doesn't seem pleased
With either form.

Okay, peas are out.
What smells so good?

Fried chicken.
Luke,
Will you marry me?

Set the table?

Okay, first, I have some very
Exciting news to tell you.

This year, I have decided

To do a whole new thing
For halloween.

You're not gonna hang
The caramel apples again?

Caramel apples
Aren't scary.

Well, what's scary is you
Opening your house up

To a mob of insane,
Sugar-laced kids

Wearing masks that hide
Any identifying features.

I have decided to do
Something totally different,

And I'm gonna need
Your help.

Sure.
Okay.

I want to do a skit.

Skit?
Yes, I want to be
A mad scientist.

I'm gonna come out in
A blood-stained lab coat

And freaky makeup and big,
Giant, don king kind of hairdo,

And I'm going to turn the whole
Front yard into my laboratory.

Wow.
I'm gonna have
A huge electric chair

And an operating table
And test tubes and wires.

Sounds elaborate.
You haven't heard
The half of it, okay?

And so I come out and I do
Mad scientist "Banter,"

Like, "Hey, who here
Is from bellevue?"

And "'girl interrupted'? That's
My idea of a feel-good movie."

I'll work on it.

But anyway, after that,
I'm gonna drag you out.
What?

You're strapped
In an electric chair,

And I'm gonna throw the switch
And totally electrocute you.

And you're
Flailing around.

We'll rig something

Where smoke and sparks
Shoot out of your nose.

And then once you're dead,
I'll throw you

Onto the operating table
And I'll cut you open.

And I pull link sausages
Out of you

And throw them
Into the crowd.

That's it?

Well, I mean, we can
Take a bow or something,

But, yeah, that's it.

Okay. Uh, just a couple
Of questions here.

Once you've electrocuted me
And I'm dead,

How exactly do I get
To the operating table?

Maybe I can position
The operating table

Right near
The electric chair

So I can just flop you over
Onto it after you die.

Okay, let's say
We work that out.

Now I'm on the table.

You're gonna cut me open
With what?

A big, rusty saw.

And then you're gonna pull
Link sausages out of me.

Real slow
And creepy like.
Okay, great.
Last question.

Uh, what are the odds of you
Getting me to do a skit

Where you electrocute me,
Cut me open,

And pull link sausages
Out of me?

'cause I'm thinking
They're right up there

With pia zadora
Making a big comeback.

Oh, come on.
This will be fun.

No way,
Not happening.

But this is
Our first halloween

As a full-blown, committed,
Soon-to-be-married couple.

We need to start
Our own traditions.

I'll build you the chair,
Help with the test tubes,
And then I'm done.

You would be so scary with smoke
Coming out of your nose.

I really want
To see that.

We're gonna be together
The rest of our lives,

So odds are you will.

Chicken's burning.
I got to concentrate.

Why don't you go find
Your psychotic dog?

Okay, but this discussion
Is not over.

Here, paul anka.
Mommy's got your broccoli.

Out.

I can't believe
You're not gonna come in.

I told you
I'm meeting my father

At 7:30 in the morning
In new york.

I loved
The dinner tonight.
I'm glad.

I've never had
Sri lankan food before.

I thought
You'd like it.

And I appreciate you lying to me
And answering "Chicken"

Every time I asked you
What I was eating.

15 courses -- one of them
Was bound to be chicken.
And that dessert.

Do you really think you can
Keep talking long enough

I forget
I can't come in?

I've seen my mom
Do it before.

I thought maybe
It was a family trait.

Just for an hour.
No.

Half an hour?
No.

15 minutes?
No.

Okay, an hour.

You're getting better
At this.

Ow, you bit my lip.

I didn't mean
To startle you two.

I heard a noise out here
And just came to check it out.

Everything all right?

I was just
Dropping rory off.

Hi, grandpa.

Hello, rory.

Well, I'll just say
Good night, then.

Good night, grandpa.

Good night, richard.

[ door closes ]

Was it
The mortigans' dalmatian

Trying to mate
With our lion statues again?

No, it was not
The mortigans' dalmatian.

It was rory and logan.

How natural selection hasn't
Wiped out dogs like that,

I'll never know.

Rory and logan?
It was rory and logan.

They just came home.
Logan was dropping rory off.

Well, that's nice.
Oh, look at this bedroom set.

Richard, you would love
These pillows.

Seems I interrupted
Their goodbyes.

Richard, now they're going
To think we were spying on them.

This settee is lovely, also.

They were engaged in a round
Of serious necking.

What do you mean?

You know exactly
What I mean.

You know, richard,
Rory's growing up.
Mm-hmm.

She's turning 21
Next week.

Is that what the flotilla
Of party planners

Outside our door
Was about?

Logan is certainly a very
Experienced young man.

Man of the world, emily,
Man of the world.

You know, richard,
It might be that time.
What time?

She might be getting ready
To have relations with that boy.

Have you seen the size
Of that sports car of his?

There's no room
To cross your legs,

Much less anything else.

The car is not
The only place

They're getting affectionate,
Richard.

I walked in on them
The other day in the pool house.

They were very cozy
On the couch,

And they certainly
Weren't looking for her keys.

Do you really think?
I really think.

If she's getting ready
To take that step,

We have to do something.

I couldn't agree more.
Tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

I am in love
With this bedroom set.

Okay, so, what kind
Of link sausage

Would you like
To pull out of luke?

I'm not sure.
Nothing too wimpy.

Luke's a big guy,
So he needs big-guy sausage.
Don't we all.

Don't make
My man's sausage dirty.

You could go kielbasa.
That's a big-guy sausage.

Technically,
Luke hasn't agreed

To let me pull anything
Out of him.

Small detail.
Miniscule roadblock.

Well, personally, I love
The louisiana sweet sausage

'cause it has
The nicest flavor --

A little bite,
But not too overwhelming.

I'm not gonna eat
The sausage.

I'm going to pull it
Out of luke.

Mail just came.
Oh, thanks.

Well, if you're just going
By looks,

I'd go cajun
Because it's red.

[ chuckles ]

What's the matter?
Nothing.

It's not nothing.

It's an invitation to rory
Gilmore's 21st birthday party.

Wow.
Look at all that lace.

Man, that's
A pretty invitation.
Sure is.

Are you going to go?

This isn't from rory.
This is from my dad via my mom.

It is?

It's just my dad trying
To manipulate me

And get me involved in a plan
To manipulate rory.

But you had a plan.
I know.

Boy, they are determined.

Determined, demented,
De-lovely.

I can't believe
Rory's turning 21.

It seems like just yesterday
She was crying

Because you told her
Charlotte bronte

Couldn't come to her sleepover
Because she's dead.

I'm gonna go check
The reservation book.

Too much rory talk.

Oh, just a tad.
It's making me bummed, so...

We could go back
To our sausage talk.

Maybe later.

Oh, my god,
It smells good in here.

Well, I see someone got
Our dinner invitation.

Yes, I did,
And thank you.

It's been weeks
Since I've had anything

That hasn't been supersized
For dinner.

You've been so busy lately,
I had to resort

To pot roast and mashed potatoes
To get you here.

Pot roast
And mashed potatoes?

With baby carrots,
Parker house rolls,

And ice cream sundaes
For dessert.

Wow.
Am I dying?

Would you grab
That bottle of wine?

Sure.

Rory, how lovely
That you could join us.

Do you know
The reverend boatwright?

Uh, no.
Emily:
Oh, I can't believe that.

Reverend boatwright has been
Our minister for years.

By now he's more a friend
Than a minister.

Well, it's nice to meet you,
Reverend boatwright.

It's nice to meet you,
Too, rory.

I hear pot roast
Is your favorite, too.

Yes, it is.

Rory, sit, sit.
It's amazing.

All the wonderful foods
In this world,

The greatest chefs with
The most exotic ingredients,

And yet this girl
Still wants pot roast.

Roll, reverend?

Well, thank you.
Don't mind if I do.

Hmm. I wonder
Where that salad is.

Will you excuse me?
I'll be right back.

You know, emily ordered some
Of that wonderful irish butter.

You haven't tasted rolls

Until you've had them
With irish butter.

I'll be right back.

And then there were two.

Your grandparents have told me
A lot about you, rory.

Oh, yeah?
They're very proud of you,
You know.

Well, then it's a mutual
Admiration society.

You have a birthday
Coming up next week?
21st.

Must be wonderful being
A young woman, just turning 21.

The world is out there,
Just waiting to be conquered.
I guess so.

I hear
You have a boyfriend.
Yes.

Ah, young love. It can be
So exhilarating, so intense --

All those feelings
Rushing around inside of you.

I remember being young and
Having all those crazy feelings.

Oh, yeah?
Oh, yes.

You know, rory, being a young
Lady comes with many gifts.

Your virtue, for example,
Is a gift, a precious gift.

Possibly the most precious gift
You possess.

Uh-huh.

You want to give this gift
Very carefully.

It is a gift you can give
To only one man.

Once you give it, it's gone.
You can't regift it.

If you give it away too soon
To the wrong man,

Then when the right one
Does come along,

You have no gift to give.

You'll have to buy him
A sweater.

Do you understand
What I'm saying?

No.

Think long and hard about
When and to whom

You want to give the ultimate
Gift you have to give away.

Oh.
Yes.

Oh, dear.
Oh, dear, indeed.

Um...Well [chuckles]
Listen, reverend.

I really appreciate you
Taking the time out

Of what I assume
Is a busy day

To come here and talk to me
About...All of this,

But, um, I'm afraid

The ultimate-gift ship
Has sailed.

What?

A while ago.
It's probably in fiji by now.

Oh.
Yeah.

Well...

So, have you seen
"The 40-year-old virgin"?

'cause you might like it.

Well, it can't go
Next to the sushi,

So I guess the cake
Will have to go in there.

Maybe in the corner?

Grandma.
Oh, rory, good.

Do you think we should have
A carving station

In case some people
Find sushi unappealing,

Or will the passed
Hors d'oeuvres be enough?

Either way.

"Either way" is not an opinion,
Just for future reference.

Let's have a carving station --
Just beef, no turkey.

What happened
To the pool house?

What do you mean?
It's full of stuff.

Oh, yes, the rentals -- I had
Absolutely nowhere to put them.

They said
It might rain tonight,

So I just put them
In the pool house.

But I live in the pool house.
What am I supposed to do?

I packed up your things and put
Them in your old room upstairs.

Upstairs?
Uh-huh.

The room
Right next to ours.

We can knock secret-code
Messages to each other

Like we're in camp.

No, I didn't tell you
To put that there.

You're fired.

Grandma,
Has mom rsvp'ed?

I don't know, rory.
Check the list.

Yes, out now, please.
Thank you.

The list says no.

Then I guess
The answer's no.
Well, that's just wrong.

When an invitations says
"Rsvp," you rsvp.

That's what you do.
It's not rocket science.

Maybe she's still coming.
But how do we know?

If she doesn't call, how will
We know whether or not

To make an extra
Chocolate box, huh?

If she doesn't call,
She won't have a chocolate box.

We can make an extra
Chocolate box, rory.
No.

Why should we make
An extra chocolate box?

I mean, we're paying
For these things.

Chocolate boxes do not
Just grow on trees.

They're made by these
Hardworking people right here,

And it is not right

To make these people spend hours
Making extra chocolate boxes

Because people are too lazy
To make a stupid phone call!

Rory!

Luke:
You're gonna be sick.
No.

It's already loaded
With chocolate chips.

That's candy, and you're
Adding whipped cream.

That's more candy.

Got any jelly beans?
I'm gonna be sick.

[ telephone rings ]
Oh, and a cherry.

Luke's.

Rory: luke,
Is my mother there?

Rory?
Rory?

Yes, it's rory.
Is my mother there?

I'll give her to you.
That's rory for me?

I just want to know if she's
Coming to my birthday party.

She wants to know if you're
Coming to her birthday party.
What?

We're making the chocolate boxes
Right now,

And I need to know whether
Or not to make her one.

They're making
The chocolate boxes,

And she needs to know
So they can make you one.

I didn't know
I was invited.
I sent her
An invitation!

Where the hell did she think
It came from?!

She said she sent you
An invitation.

I didn't know it was from her.
I didn't know it was from you!

Well, it was.
Is she coming or not?

Are you coming or not?

Yes, I-I'm coming.
I want a chocolate box.

She'll be there.
Fine. Bye.

Rory called.

I know.
She called and yelled at me.

No, she called
And yelled at me.

But I'm the one who had
To hear it, and she was loud.

And she said "Hell."
I never heard her say "Hell."

I didn't even know she knew
How to say "Hell."

She was mad and she yelled
And she said "Hell."

Yeah, but she called.

Keep those fans going.

I don't want the whole house
To smell of raw fish.

Disgusting food.

Shelby, martin, how wonderful
That you've come.

We're a bit early,
I'm afraid.

Nonsense. Have a rory.
We'll chat later.

Tacky, horrid people.

Why not just show up the night
Before with a sleeping bag?

My, my, you've got to get it
Down to a 1-bell answer.

Bell rings once, door opens.
Please help me on this.

Mr. Gilmore is not here yet,
And therefore I have no one

To help me with the guests
Or the party.

[ doorbell rings ]
So, just make sure you get
The door after one bell.

[ doorbell rings ]
That's two bells.

[ doorbell rings ]
That's three bells!

Well, hello, glory.
Come in, come in.

Rory,
You look wonderful.

That dress
Is to die for.

Well, it's the one
You laid out on the bed,

So I assumed I was supposed
To put it on.

Well, it's perfect.
So, how does it look?
Fine.

I'll never forgive myself
For being talked into votives,

But that's what you get for
Taking calls at cocktail hour.

Have you tried
Your drink?
My what?

Your signature drink.

I had the bartender
Concoct it for you.

It's called "The rory."

It's got champagne, vodka,
Pineapple juice, and grenadine.

Have one.
You're old enough now.

Maybe later --
Empty stomach.

Well, there's plenty to eat,
So that can be remedied.

Where's grandpa?

He'll be here soon.

There they are -- the two
Most lovely ladies in the room.

Hello, logan.

I have to check
On your cake.

Huh.

Is it me or could the penguins
March through here?

She's probably mad because
She found out we're having sex.

She what?
She found out
We're having sex.

How the hell
Did she find that out?

I told her minister.
But why
Would you do that?

Because he was going
On and on

About my virtue
Being a gift.

And now you have it,

So I'm gonna have to buy
The next guy a sweater.

I just wanted him
To stop.

And all this
Without a drink in my hand.

Let's get you a rory.

Ohh, dealing with this family
Is stressful.

And once you've had
That drink,

I can tell you how I've been
Moved out of the pool house

And into a room right next
To my grandparents.

So from now on,

We'll have to have sex
In our invisible suits.

Two rories, please.
Does your grandfather
Know, also?

Oh, yeah.
Make it four.

Rory!

You came!
Of course I came.

I wouldn't miss
Your 21st birthday.

Oh, I'm glad.
Hey, zach, thanks for coming.

Sure, no problem.
There's food, right?

Oh, plenty of food. Lane,
I want you to meet logan.

Logan, this is
My best friend, lane.

Hey, nice
To finally meet you.

Nice to finally
Meet you, too.

And this is
My boyfriend, zach.

How you doing?
What?
Oh, I'm hanging in there.

You guys want a drink?

Well, I'm not sharing,
So make it two drinks.

Wow, this house
Is amazing.

I've never
Been here before.

Two rories -- extra cherries
For the lady.

Oh, my god, you have
Your own drink.

Wait till you see
The bathroom.

The guest soap
Has my face on it.

So, you're, like,
Rich, huh?

Uh...

This might be
My least favorite door

In the world
To knock on.

What about death's door?

The reception on the other side
Might be warmer.

Well, at least
You didn't have to knock.

Ready?
I was born ready.

Ah, nice,
Low-key affair.

Okay, we're in
And the gift's on the gift pile

And, um, oh, yes.

Cheers.
Okay, there.

Checking things
Off the list.

We should probably move deeper
Into the house now.

What is this?
Do you see rory?

Not yet.
Boy, big turnout.

Maybe if we're lucky
And we keep moving around,

We can avoid --

Lorelai, you came.
You're here.

There's a chocolate box
For you in the hallway.

Thank you, mom.
Hello, luke.

I don't have
A chocolate box for you.

You'll have to share
With lorelai.

Fat chance. Mom buys
Really good chocolate.

I see you have a rory.
Excuse me?

Your drink --
It's called a rory.

What's the matter, luke,
You don't like your rory?

Oh, no, I-it's great.
It's a little pink, you know.

Well, rory's a girl.
Girls like pink.

I know.
I was just saying.

No one's asking you
To wear it.

I know. I just --
Drink the drink.

Well, nice of you two
To come.

I have some things to check on.
We'll catch up later.

Excuse me.

Ohh, it tasted pink.
She's gone.

I mean, like, really tasted
Really pink, like pink pink.

Yech!
Come on, let's get
Something to eat.

God, that's terrible.

It's like drinking
A "My little pony."

Hey, I'm glad
You guys came.

We had to stop and eat first
In case the food here sucked.

Happy birthday, rory.

Yeah, listen,
We have really big news.

You tell her.
Okay.

But do it fast
And don't embellish.

As you know,
I'm a senior,

And my reign as editor
Of the yale daily news

Is officially up
At the end of the year.

I'm going back
To writing full-time.
Wow.

I'm gonna be writing
A column

Called "The world
According to doyle."

I can't imagine the daily news
Without you as editor.

Yeah,
It's going to be weird.

Ask who
The new editor is.

Who's the new editor
Going to be?
Me.

You?
That's right.

Paris geller is the new editor
Of the yale daily news.

I was worried
About the intimidation factor

'cause people tend
To be afraid of me,

But I really worked the "My
Parents left me broke" angle,

Got a little
Sympathy vote,

And the next thing I know,
I am the man.

My woman is the man.
I mean,
It's so incredible.

Last year, I was sleeping
With the editor.
And this year, I am.

I can't wait.
The changes I'm going to make.

Hold on to your hats,
People.

I'm going to crack that whip,
Raise that bar.

The last person that ran
The shop was too busy

Ironing his petticoat
To put out a decent paper.

That's about to change.
You know it is.

Hey, everyone.
Hey, paris.

Hey, lorelai. You remember
My boyfriend, doyle?

Good to see you.
This is luke.
Nice to meet you, luke.

We actually met
About two or three w--

This is my boyfriend,
Doyle.
It's nice to meet you.

Yeah, it's nice
To meet you, too.

Hey, birthday girl.
Hey.

We were just talking
About the big news.
What's the big news?

I'm the new editor
Of the yale daily news.

Wow.
Congratulations, paris.

Last year I was sleeping
With the editor.

And this year, I am.

Um...I have to go say hello
To some people,

So I'll catch up
With you guys later.

Have some food.
There's tons of food.

They shouldn't be allowed

To put just anything
Into a martini glass.

Martinis should go
Into a martini glass --

Gin martinis, vodka martinis,
Period. That's it.

Do you know
What this is?
It's raw fish.

Dip it in soy sauce
And swallow it real quick.

We were gonna drink
Martinis.

The rat pack
Drank martinis.

James bond
Drank martinis.

You know, it's the sweet drinks
That really kill you.

It's the sugar
That makes you throw up.

'cause no one's ever thrown up
From a martini before.

Have you seen
My father?
Nope.

Wonder where he's hiding.

Okay, I got
The red piece down.

"Hello, 'page six'?
Have I got a scoop for you."

Excuse me, lorelai?

Hi, I'm vivian lewis,

And this is
Catherine thurston moore.

We're friends of rory's
From the d.A.R.

Oh, friends of rory's.
Wow.

I didn't realize she ran
With the bad girls.

We just wanted to tell you
We love rory.

She introduced us to buffalo
Wings and jalapeño poppers,

And for that we will be
Eternally grateful.

What's the d.A.R.?
[ both laugh ]

I'm gonna get a beer.
Anyone want anything?

I'm good.
Okay, I'll be back.

Last year I was sleeping
With the editor.

Now I am.

Come in a little quicker
Next time.

Hey, little tip --
We have beer here.

Oh, the magic words.

I was just heading
Over to the bar.

Have you tried a rory yet?

Yes, I have.
Not my kind of drink.

Yeah, mine, either.

Lorelai will be glad
To hear it.

So, you two
Haven't talked yet.

Nope, not yet.

Well, it was nice of you
To invite her here.

I'm glad she came.
I'm glad you both came.

Oh, uh, here.
I've got something for you.

Birthday present.
Really?

I brought it in case
Your mother didn't bring one,

But she did.

It's on top of your
Present mountain over there.

But since I already had it
In my pocket, I just figured...

Luke.
It was my mother's.

Liz can't wear it
'cause her neck's too fat,

But your neck looks,
You know, not fat.

It was sitting around
In my drawer,

So I thought,
"Hey, give it to rory."

You're lucky 'cause ceaser's
Birthday is next month

And I know
He likes pearls, so...

Thank you.
You're welcome.

I saw a jewelry box
And I couldn't help myself.

What did you get?
Oh, it's fantastic.

It's from luke,
My stepfather-to-be.

Well, you have
Exquisite taste, luke.

I'm tweeny halpern.
Tweeny works with me
At the d.A.R.

What's the d.A.R.?

[ laughs ]

I'm killing
With that line tonight.

Well, how's the party
Going so far?

Seems to be a big hit.

Where's luke? I hope he didn't
Get lost somewhere.

Oh, no, I'm sure
He's just sizing up

How much silver he can stuff
Into his pockets

Without it making
Too much of a bulge.

I was not insinuating
That he was a thief.

Ah.

I was just making small,
Polite talk.

My commenting on his getting
Lost was in no way a swipe.

I'm sorry, I forgot. Luke went
To get a beer. Take it.

Come on, mom, it's all
About timing. You know that.

What are you --

Well, it seems
Congratulations are in order.

Well, that wasn't exactly
Congratulations,

But, sure, close enough.

Excuse me, but we really should
Cut the cake now.

Have you seen
Mr. Gilmore yet?
No, I haven't.

He's going to sit all night long
In that office of his,

Moping and sulking,

Missing his granddaughter's
Birthday party,

And he's going to leave me out
Here all alone to host it.

Fine.
Come on, claire.

[ knock on door ]

Hello? Dad?

You're missing
A crazy party out there.

You know someone
Forgot to cook the fish?

Boy, is mom gonna be mad.

Go away, lorelai.

What's wrong, dad?

You know what's wrong.

Rory's wrong.
It's all wrong.

She's not going back to yale.
It's my fault.

Rory made a choice, dad.

I could've stopped her,
And I didn't.

I cleared the path for her
To walk away

From her goal, her life.

Dad --
She's having sex,
Lorelai.

She's having sex
Under my roof.

I paid $40,000
To redecorate her sex house.

I bought her her sex mattress,
Her sex box springs.

I provided everything she needs
To waste her life.

Dad, rory having sex
Is not your fault, really.

She was having sex way before
The big renovation.

I feel
So much better now.
I'm sorry.
I-I wasn't trying to --

I made a terrible,
Terrible mistake.

No, dad, listen --

Richard, you come out
Of here right now

And make an appearance
At this party.

I don't give a damn
About the party, emily.

What is going on
With you?

You've been holed up in here
For two days.

It's rory.
What about rory?

What do you mean,
"What about rory"?

We've lost her.

What are you talking about?
I got her out of the pool house.

For a day, for two days,

And then those rentals
Go back.

Then I'll have
The place fumigated.

That'll take a week.

Then I'll have the place
Checked for mold.

That'll be two weeks.
Then I'll find rats.

Then there will be
Carbon monoxide leaks,

And if I have to,
I'll tear the damn place down.

In the meantime, she's here
Where we can watch her.

That doesn't matter, emily.
We have lost her.

No!
We've failed.

No, we have not failed.

We have not failed until
That girl comes home pregnant.

And on that note...

Richard, I don't understand
What's happening.

Everything's been fine
Except the sex issue.

Everything
Hasn't been fine.

The minute we went
Against lorelai, we lost.

You're acting
Like this is my fault.

Going against lorelai
Was your idea.

I was perfectly ready

To go ahead with the plan
The three of us devised.

Running around with logan,
Joining the d.A.R.,

Planning parties.

What's wrong
With joining the d.A.R.?

We both agreed
She needed a job.

Fund-raisers
And tea parties?

It's frivolous
And meaningless.

She has more to do,
More to be.

I don't want that life
For her.

You mean my life.
You don't want her to be me.

Emily, no,
That's not what I meant.

We're cutting the cake now.
Can't wait anymore.

[ door closes ]

So.

So.

Your drink is disgusting.
Tell me about it.

Nice party, though.

Yeah, it's very nice.

You look great.

You look skinny.

Oh, well,
It's the construction diet.

Construction?

Yeah, we're making
The bedroom bigger.
You and luke?

No, me and john o'hurley.
Luke doesn't know yet.

I hope he takes it okay.

You guys are gonna live
At our house?
Yeah.

Wow.
That's nice.

So, what's new with you?

Oh, well, not much.

I got my community service hours
Down from 300 to 104.

God, community should be
Well-served by now.

They should build a statue
Of you when you're done.

Well, it's not just
One community.

Right, yeah. That makes
More sense, I guess.

I got a dog.

What?

Stop. He's fine.
He's alive?

Yes, he's alive, and I'm not
Discussing that hamster again.

But you asked babette to
Double-check that you feed it?

That is so not necessary...
And yes.

Wow, a dog.

A lot has changed.

A lot, and then
Not so much, also.

Did you get
Your chocolate box?

They're by the door.

No, I didn't.
I'll get one on the way out.

They're good.
I ate two.

It's a really
Pretty party.

I actually like
All the votives and the --

* happy birthday to you

* happy birthday to you

* happy birthday, dear rory

* happy birthday to you

[ cheers and applause ]

Ready to go?

Sure.

Hey.

You can pull link sausages
Out of me if you want.