All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E01 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

What?

Luke, will you --

Yes.

Well, you don't have
To answer --

Yes.

You can take a minute to --
No.

So, what now?

I don't know.
This is new for me.

We should do
Something official.

Official?

Yeah, something to commemorate
The moment.

I mean, we're...

Getting...
Married, luke.

Married --

You and me.

Luke "Table for one" danes

And lorelai "I'm sorry,
Can I get an industrial forklift

For my emotional baggage?"
Gilmore are getting...

Married.

Huh?

We could toast.

Toast -- yes.
Toast -- good.

What do we toast with?

Uh...

I know you
Won't have champagne,

But maybe some wine or beer
Or something.

I got nothing.

No, you
Must have something.

Grapefruit juice
Or worcestershire sauce.

Neither
Sounds very festive.

I can cut it
With some festive ketchup.

No, we need
Something sparkly.

Come on.

Where are we going?
To funky town.

Hey, wait.

What?
Did you change your mind?

Oh, how did I screw it up
So fast?

Was the "Funky town" thing
Too quippy?

'cause I thought
You liked that about me.

The "Funky town" thing
Is fine.

I just -- [ sighs ]

Are you sure you want
To celebrate now?

I mean, a minute ago
When you came in here --

I just want to be happy
Right now.

Okay?

Okay.

Good.

Oh, come on.

Where are we going?

Hey, am I doing
This right?

What?

Never mind.

That's great, grandpa!
Take your time!

I have no homelife!

Six hours
I've been standing here

Waiting for
This ridiculous race to end!

Okay, that's it!
Race is over!

Maggie, I want you to start
Breaking all this stuff down.

If I don't get these tables back
By midnight,

I pay for another day.

But we haven't given out
The trophies to the winners yet.

Who cares about giving out
The trophies?

There's no one here to see
The winners get them

Except the losers, who, I'm
Sure, could give a rat's tushy

If the winners
Get a trophy or not.

Okay, so do I put them back
In the bubble wrap?

Just give it to me!
Hey, who was first?!

Congratulations!

Who's second?!
Here!

Third?!

I wasn't third.

Rat's tushy,
Party of one?

Okay, everybody,
Listen up!

I want this square packed up
And cleared out in 10 minutes!

Hey, we're closed!

The market is closed!

What is wrong
With people tonight?

It's closed.

Oh, these small-town hours.
I hate small-town hours.

As soon as we get married,
We have to move.

Hey, you two,
What are you doing there?

Taylor, great.
We need to get in.

We open
At 6:00 tomorrow.

Taylor, you're gonna be the
First one to hear the big news.

Do I have to hear it now?
I have so many things --

Luke and I are engaged.
You are?!

As of just
A few minutes ago.

Well,
What do you know?

I thought there
Was a better chance

Of all four of the beatles
Getting back together

Than you two ever calming down
Long enough to get engaged.

Yeah, well, wonder of wonder
And miracle of miracles, right?

Can you just open
The store, taylor?

What do you need
In the store?

We need something to toast
This moment with.

Something alcoholic?
Yes.

You know, lorelai,

If you feel you have to be drunk
To be with him --

Taylor, will you just open
The door?

All right.

Where do you keep
The champagne?

Over there.
Top shelf.

Where?
Top shelf, top shelf!

Here?

Well, I'm out of ways of saying
"Top shelf," lorelai.

Taylor, it's $5.99.

It's inexpensive, yes,
But you'll still get a buzz.

Luke, did you find
Anything yet?

Nothing. No wine, no beer,
No cooking sherry.

It's like dylan thomas
Just blew through town.

I'm sorry.
These bikers wiped me out.

They may look like health nuts,
But they knock it back.

Oh, taylor, you have
To have something!

Lorelai, I'm sorry, but --
Wait a minute.

I think I have a case of zima
In the back.

Really? Luke, he's got zima
In the back!

He's got zima
In the back!

Babette had me stocking it
For a while.

I was using it as a step stool,
But I'm sure it's okay.

We'll take it!

Let's just drive to woodbridge.
They have a liquor bar there.

I don't want to drive
To woodbridge.

But men aren't supposed
To drink zima.

Pay the man.

You can forget the tax.

Consider it
An engagement present.

Thank you, taylor.
Come on, get the zima.

Get those tables
On the truck!

Hustle, people!

Where are you going?

I know
The perfect toasting place.

Is it far?
Which one of us is not getting
Into the romantic spirit?

The one with a case full
Of chick beer under his arm.

Shoo. Shoo.

Hi. Shoo.

[ sighs ]

Here.
Right here?

Right here.
Okay.

[ exhales sharply ]

Okay, so...

Here's to us.

To us.

Taylor!

The light guys go on golden time
In five minutes!

Taylor, turn
The lights back on!

Well, fine.
Apparently there's an oil well

In the middle of stars hollow
That no one told me about!

Turn them back on, budgie.

Okay.

I believe
We were right about...

There.

Really?

You're gonna kiss me now?

You're so incredibly
Predictable.

* la-ah la-la laa

* la-la la la la la

* la la la

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead
*

Was this mattress
Always this comfortable?

I think so.

Mmm.

It feels so much more
Comfortable.

We should drink zima
And have sex every single night.

Okay.
Okay.

Good night.
Good night.

Hmm.

So, when I said,
"What about the kids?"

I didn't mean
"What about our kids?"

I mean, yes, obviously,
"What about our kids?"

But I didn't mean we had to have
Any kids, 'cause we don't.

But...We can.

I just didn't want
You to think

That I was laying down
Some kind of a mandate.

I mean, "Kids" --
It's plural,

So it sounds like a lot,
But we can just have one kid.

One's fine,
Or more if you want more,

Or we don't have to have
Any kids.

We could just...

Get a plant.

What?

Nothing.

Okay.

I bought a house --
The twickham house.

I bought it for us.
I don't have it anymore.

I could probably
Get it back,

But I just thought you should
Know that I bought it...

For the kids
That we don't have to have.

It's a big house, and we don't
Have to fill it up with kids.

You know,
We could get furniture.

You know, go shopping for
A couch or get some end tables.

I hate shopping
For furniture.

For me, kids are easier.

I love shopping.

Go to sleep.

Okay.

Is this
Really happening?

Yes.

It's really happening.

You bought a house
Without telling me?

What?
A house?

I mean, a house is huge.

I know.
That's why I told you.

A houseful of kids?

And a plant.
Don't forget the plants.

Please don't do that, okay?

I mean, any other address-
Or life-changing decisions,

Please include me in.

I will. I am.
I'm sorry.

I won't. I will.

Okay.

Sorry.

Kids would be good.

All right, blueberry pancakes
And scrambled eggs.

I didn't ask
For blueberry.

Any accidents
Are on the house today.

Who wants coffee, hmm?

Ah, here you go, trudy.

Hey, I top that off
For you, mac?

Hey, what do you say?

A cup of joe, joe?

Where the hell is he?

There.
He's right there.

Get over here, you!

I can't believe it!

You finally did it,
You dumb son of a bitch.

You finally got in there
And closed the deal!

It took you long enough.

All right, easy, you two.

You know, we should be
Very mad at you.
Why?

Because we had to find out
From someone else

That you and lorelai
Are engaged.

East side tillie.

She was spreading it
Around town

Like she was gonna be
A bridesmaid or something.

Tillie is not going to be
A bridesmaid.

But you
Are engaged, right?

Right.

So, we want to hear
The whole thing.

The whole play by play.

How'd it happen?
How'd you do it?

Do what?
How did you propose
To lorelai?

Oh, uh, well --

Did you get down
On one knee?

Did you take her
Somewhere special?

Did you hide the ring
In anything?

Like a glass of champagne
Or a cannoli?

Actually, I'm still working
On the ring.

Oh, so the proposal
Was spontaneous, huh?

Oh, the spontaneous proposals
Are the best, you know?

Yeah, morey proposed to me
Spontaneously.

Did I ever tell you
The story?

Uh, no.

It was a brisk fall night,
And morey was on top.

No. Wait.
I was on top.

What?

Stoney morrison
Was on top.
Babette!

We were playing twister.
Did I not mention that?

No.

[ laughing ]
I probably should have.

Well, enough
About us, honey.

Come on, luke, tell us.
How'd you do it?

Well, actually, I didn't.
Lorelai proposed to me.

Oh.Oh.

You went modern.

Well, that's
Still okay, sugar.

The important thing
Is you're getting married!

We're very happy
For you, luke.

Yes, we are.
Yeah.

Uh-huh. Thanks. Well, I-I've got
Some work to do.

I'll talk to you guys later.

She proposed.

Yeah, well, thank god
He's got a good ass.

* making you an offer
Still runs great *

* looking
For a brand-new start *

* a special one-time deal
On preowned heart *

* a special one-time deal
On a preowned heart *

Hi.

Oh, hello, there.

For sale again, huh?

Yes. We had an offer,
But the buyer backed out.

Toxic-bachelor type.
But we think it'll move fast.

It has all the original
Fixtures, great lighting,

A ton
Of terrific potential.

Yeah, it does.

You interested?
Uh, maybe.

It would be
A great house for kids.

Oh, please,
Not you, too.

I'm sorry, what?

[ cellphone ringing ]
Oh, nothing.

Sorry. Thanks.

Hello.

Lorelai, wonderful.
How lucky that I caught you.

Now, a few things to go over.

As you know, rory's court
Appearance is tuesday at 3:00.

I've retained the services
Of charlie davenport

As her attorney.

You remember charlie,
Lorelai?

He bought you a doll
For your birthday once.

Well, he's coming
Over here tomorrow morning

To discuss rory's case
About 8:30.

Sounds super.

Charlie doesn't usually take
Small cases like this.

He's doing the family
A great favor.

Charlie sounds
Like a swell guy.

He is a swell guy
And a top lawyer.

You must remember him?

Sure, he bought me a doll
For my birthday once.

Well, do you have
Any questions?

Nope.

I have to say I thought you
Would have had more interest

In this subject
Than you seem to.

Really? Huh.
So, is there anything else?

No, there isn't anything else!
I just wanted to fill you in.

Will we see you tomorrow
Morning?

For what?
For the meeting
With charlie davenport!

Oh, no. It sounds like you have
Everything under control.

Fine!
I'll talk to you later.

Tell charlie
Thanks for the doll for me.

Good morning!

You're still sleeping?
My goodness. You're young.

These are the good days.

There's plenty
Of time to sleep

When you've gone up
A couple of dress sizes.

Is it stuffy in here?

Uh...

So let's talk
About this room.

Now that you're staying here,
I thought we could spruce
The place up --

Individualize it
To your taste.

We don't have to do --

I've been dying to get my hands
On this dump for ages,

And now I finally
Have an excuse.

Huh.
Well, that's insane.

You want hosanna
To draw you a bath?
No.

Hosanna,
Draw rory a bath, please.

Hosanna has a pot of coffee
For you in the other room.

Interested?

Wow.

I brought some fabric samples
To flip through.

The coffee
Smells amazing.

There's cream
In the fridge.

When did you have time
To do all this?

It's amazing what you can get
Done before 8:30 in the morning.

Now, I've got some things
For you --

Key to the pool house,
Key to the main house,

Key to the garage,

The security-alarm code,

The security-alarm password,

The number
Of the security company.

Now, the code
To the panic room is...

[ whispering ] 11111.

Don't write it down,
And whatever you do,
Don't tell the maid.

They tell their children,

Then their children grow up
And rob you.

Now, is this all your things, or
Is there more still at school?

Uh, no, I have
A lot more at mom's.

Oh. Well, don't you worry.
I'll take care of that.

Did you try the danish?

I bought it
At an organic bakery.

So how'd it go
Last night?

Hmm?

With mom.
Was she mad?

I mean, of course she was mad,
But was it a bad mad?

Well, you know
Your mother, rory.

Everything's the end
Of the world -- so dramatic.

"Ladies and gentlemen,
Lorelai barrymore."

But don't you worry.
She'll calm down.

Just give it some time.

Richard on intercom: hello?
Is anyone there?

Come in, please.

What's that?
It's just the intercom.

Yes, richard, we're here,
And we read you.

Copy that, emily.
Is rory up yet?

Charlie davenport is here
For our meeting.

Well, of course she's up,
Richard.

Please. Do you really think
She'd still be asleep

At 8:30 in the morning?

I have her here looking
At fabric samples.

We'll be done in a minute,
And I'll send her right in.

We better get you
In that bath.

I didn't know
There was an intercom.

Isn't that wonderful?

We're just a push button away,
Like "Star trek."

Hosanna, we're coming in.

Oh, I don't think that duck
Stopped flying

Until it hit paraguay.

If then.
[ laughs ]

And then, of course, we came
Home completely empty-handed

With nothing but our whistles
In our hands.

You came home
Empty-handed.

I came home
With the mitlan case.

Yes, that's right.

On this trip,
We met argus mitlan,

C.E.O.
Of windermere technologies.

Paid for his
$32-million main estate

And his wife's new lower half
With the company's pension fund.

$94 million
In accounting fraud.

They had him red-handed --
On tape, in e-mails.

The man was guilty as sin.
Where is he now, charlie?

Los angeles. He just bought
Ellen degeneres' house.

So you got him off?

And successfully sued
For defamation of character.

If you knew the number
Of truly guilty criminals

Put back on the street
By this man here,

You'd never believe in the
Criminal-justice system again.

Now, richard,
I just realized we've spent

So much time talking
About ourselves.

We haven't discussed
Rory's case at all.

She must have
A million questions.

Go on, rory.
What would you like to know?

Well, I guess I would just like
To know what's going to happen.

Good question.

Richard,
That is a good question.

She's a gilmore.

The first thing
That's going to happen

Is I'm going to have a little
Face-to-face

With the prosecutor
That's handling your case.

We'll go over things.
I'll take him out
For a cup of coffee.

Just don't take him
Duck hunting.

And then we will agree
On a plea bargain.

Really? No trial?
Hell, no.

Considering
You're a first-time offender

With demonstrably
Excellent character,

Not to mention your family's
Standing in the community,

The most you'll get
Is a little community service --

10 hours, give or take.

Sound good?

Yeah,
It sounds very good.

Embezzle a pension fund,

And you'll really see
What he can do.

Now, richard,
I'm afraid I must be going.

We appreciate your coming over
Like this.

Of course. It was a pleasure
Meeting you, rory.

You too.

I'll see you on tuesday,
Young lady.

Thank you,
Mr. Davenport.

I swear I will never need
Your help again.

I'm sure you won't.

Charming girl.

She certainly is.

[ acoustic-guitar music plays ]

* buh buh buh buh buh buh-buh

* buh buh buh buh buh buh-buh
*

[ door opens ]

Paris: rory?

In here.

You live here?
Home sweet home.

Aren't you worried one night
You're going to sleepwalk

Into that pool and drown?

I am now.

Your stuff's in here?
Go to town.

I'm meeting more of doyle's
Family tonight.

I've been meeting people
For months.

He's got, like, 500 cousins,
And you know what?

He's the tallest one
In the family.

Really?
Yep.

A family get-together is like
A lollipop-guild convention.

I have to stop myself
From asking how it's going
At the chocolate factory.

Good, good.
Get it all out now.

This isn't half bad.

Yeah, there's a belt
In there that matches.

So I have a matter
To discuss with you.

Doyle and I have decided
To move in together.

Hey, congratulations.
Thanks.

We found a great duplex,
Right near campus --

Lots of room,
Separate bathrooms.

And it's a two-bedroom,

So I was thinking maybe
You'd like to move in with us.

Very "Bob, carol, ted, and
Alice," minus bob.

It wouldn't be till school
Started 'cause it's rented
Till then,

But I think it could be
A perfect situation.

It's a nice offer, paris,
But I can't.

I'm not going back
To school.

You're pregnant.
No!

Sick?
You look pasty.
I'm not sick.

I know your national guard unit
Didn't get called up,
So what's the story?

I'm just taking
Some time off.

No, you don't take
Time off.

Did you find what you need?
I have to finish getting ready.

What happened?
Something must have happened.

Nothing happened.
People take time off.

Einstein
Took a year off.

Yeah, after he discovered
Three laws of physics.

Okay. I do not have to defend
My life to you.

I'm a grown-up. I'm independent.
I'm on my own.

You have no furniture.

Well, I'm redecorating.

I want to individualize it
To my taste.

Oh.

I get it.
I know what this is all about.

[ scoffs ]
No, you don't.
Sure, I do.

Paris, just take
What you need and go, okay?

Hey.
Sorry I'm late.

That's okay.

Hey, paris.

You!

[ door opens, closes ]

I think vacation's coming
At just the right time for her.

I'm ready.
Let's go.

You get robbed?

Uh...

Oh, come on!

You should get
A real cash register.

It's called
"Character," joe.

It's items like this

That give a place...

Character.

Kirk:
Evening, luke.

Sit down, kirk.
I'll be right with you.

I'm not interested in food.
I'm here on business.

I hear you might be
In the market for a ring,

Or should I be talking
To lorelai?

Go away, kirk.

Well, then
It's your lucky day,

Because I happen to be
In possession

Of the finest estate-ring
Collection in connecticut.

And since you are a friend,

I'm prepared to make you
A great deal.

Or will lorelai be
The one paying for it?

No, she will not be paying
For it, kirk.

Ah, east side tillie
Called it wrong this time.

Look, I'll take care
Of finding the ring, okay?

You sure you don't want to look
Before you toss me out?

No, I don't.

Nice, huh?

Well, yeah.

They're -- they are nice,
Really nice.

Wow, look at this one.

This is perfect.

It looks like lorelai.

It sure does.

And these are real?

Yes, they are.

Real diamonds --
Not "They exist" real.

Diamond and platinum.

I have a certificate
Of authenticity

For every one
Of these babies.

Where'd you get
All these rings?

I befriend
Really old women.

Excuse me?

Really old women
Need companionship, luke.

They are really old.
Most people they know are dead.

So, when someone comes along
And they're not dead

And they'll listen
To their stories

And care about their dosage,
They are grateful.

Are you serious?

Serious
As a heart attack,

Which is how I got that ring
You're holding right now.

So what do you think?

I think you got some
Great choices here.

Good. Actually,
I have a lot of sympathy

For what
You're going through.

What are you
Talking about?

Well, lorelai proposing
To you like that,

Stealing your thunder --

It's got to be embarrassing
And a little upsetting.

Now you'll never have
That moment.

You don't get to be
The romantic one --

The one to sweep her
Off her feet.

That's got to hurt.

I'm fine, kirk.

Well, sure.
What else are you gonna say?

I've been getting pretty close
To proposing to lulu, myself,

And when I heard
What happened to you,

It really freaked me out.

I mean, if lorelai can just
Spring it on you like that,

What's to stop lulu
From springing it on me?

Your creepy friendships

With really old women
Might do the trick.

Well, I've been avoiding her
For two days --

Hanging up on her really quickly
When she calls.

She may be mad,

But there's no way she's going
To rob me of my moment.

Well, don't you feel sorry
For me, kirk.

I'm going to have
My moment.

But it's gone.

Trust me, I'll have it.
Case closed.

Now, here.
I'll take this one.

Ah, old widow mason --

Thought she was frida kahlo
Toward the end.

So, a drink,
Dinner, movie --

That's really
What we're doing tonight?

I don't understand
Why you won't just believe me.

I'm tired. I just want a mellow
Evening with my girlfriend.

The last time you were mellow,
You had a 104 fever,

And even then,
We went barhopping for an hour

Before you fainted.

Men don't faint.
Men pass out.

Drink, dinner, movie --
That's it.

Fine.

* for she's a jolly good felon

* for she's a jolly good felon

* for she's a jolly good felon

* which nobody can deny

[ cheers ]

[ laughs ]
After the party, that is.

How much longer?

Lorelai: oh, sorry.
There's a purse/shoe incident

That threatened the entire
Outcome of the ensemble.

It's technical.
You wouldn't understand.

I don't want to understand.
I want to leave.

I'm starving.
Watch tv.

How is that a response
To "I'm starving"?

[ knock on door ]

Why don't you answer the door?
That'll be fun for you.

I'm not bored
Because I'm 6.

I'm bored because you told me
To pick you up at 7:00,

And it's 8:30.

[ yawns ]

Who are you?
Well, I --

I need to talk to lorelai.
Where is she?

Lorelai, where are you?!
Lorelai: who's that?

It's paris, and I need to talk
To you right now.

Who are you?
I tried to tell you.

Lorelai: paris! Hey.
What are you doing here?

Are you busy?
Is this a bad time?

No, we're just getting ready
To go out.

It's fine.
Have you met luke?
No.

I'm luke.
Paris.

Rory's quitting yale.

I went to see her, and she told
Me she's quitting yale.

Did you know about this?

Yes, I did.

It's logan.

That christopher atkins wannabe
Is the reason

That she's blue-lagooning it
Out of school.

I don't understand.

Why are you
Letting her do it?

I have no choice.
Yes, you do.

You can stop her. You can pull
Some of that supermom crap

That you always do
And get her to change her mind.

Rory can't quit yale.
We have to do something.

I agree.

We should kidnap her,
Tie her up,

And not let her loose
Until she listens to reason.

Yes.
Luke.

Hey, my suggestion first.

I need her to be
At yale.

Rory's been my only competition
Since she showed up at chilton.

She's the only one
Who's ever challenged me.

She's my pace car.
She's my bjorn borg.

Without her,
I'll get lazy.

I'll have frosted hair
And dragon-lady nails.

I'll achieve nothing.
I'll become my mother.

Paris, listen to me.

You are a very smart, driven
Young lady.

You can be anything you want,
Except a diplomat.

You don't need rory
To push you.

Rory's my only friend.

She stays in the room
Until I'm done saying something.

Listen,
I know I'm not rory,

But if you need to talk to
Someone, you can always call me.

Really?

Yeah. I'll give you
My cellphone number.

It's basically my lifeline.
You take it, and you use it.

I can really call you?

Anytime, anywhere.

I'm gonna hold you to that.

It's not a threat if somebody
Makes the offer willingly.

Okay.
Thanks.

Sorry to bother you.
Bye, luke.

Nice to m--

That concludes the floor-show
Portion of the evening.

I'll get my purse,
And we'll go.

[ sighs deeply ]

What are you gonna do?

About what?
You know about what.

Nothing.
Let's just go.

No. We haven't talked
About this.

There's nothing
To talk about.
Yes, there is.

Luke, this is
Rory's decision, okay?

She knew exactly how I felt
About the situation,

And she chose
To ignore me.

She chose to move in
With my parents.

She chose not to tell me
About it.

She's a kid.
She's not a kid.

She's 20. She's gonna be 21
In october.

She's been living on her own
For two years.

Okay, fine,
But she's young.

And young people have to be
Allowed to make mistakes.

I made a much bigger mistake
Than this

When I was much younger.

Oh, so what? Because you made it
On your own, rory has to?

That's not my point.
What is your point?

My point is that I wouldn't have
Listened to anyone

In that situation, even if there
Was someone to listen to.

I had to go through that,
And rory has to go through this.

She's smart,
And she's strong,

And hopefully
She'll figure it out.

But I am not gonna force
My way in.

If she wants to be
On her own, fine.

Really?
Tough love, baby.

So, that's it?
That's it.

And you're okay
With this?

I'm totally okay
With this.

Come on, let's go.
I thought you were starving.

Did you give paris
Your real cell number?

My best sloth year, I believe,
Was sophomore year.

I went to spain for a week
To immerse myself in cervantes.

Wound up staying for two months

And almost joined
The french foreign legion.

But you were in spain.

But sinatra didn't sing about
The spanish foreign legion.

Could you pass me
Three peanuts?

Two months is nothing.

Oh, so you think
You can outdo me?

Freshman year -- 4 1/2-month
Cross-country road trip.

This was "Pre" navigational
Assistance.

Junior year, I dropped my things
Off at my dorm room,

Jumped on a plane to australia,
And surfed until christmas.

You did not.
I did.

Where was I?
In class,
Like a good little boy.

Amazing. They're actually having
A loser-off.

Oh, look how she mocks -- the
Girl who stayed home for a month

After she had
A tragic haircut.

It wasn't a tragic haircut.
It was apocalyptic highlights.

I looked like
A tim burton character.

Two more peanuts --
Little ones.

Logan, do you remember that time
You left the classroom

To make an entrance
For that mock debate,

And you ended up
In atlantic city?

Vaguely.

This man here,
My darling,

Is long-reigning king
Of the sloths.

That's right. No one
Can waste time like this man.

Really?

No.
Now, who wants a drink?

Oh, he's
Just being modest.

Logan has the talent
For doing nothing

That's yet to be matched
By man or actual sloth.

I feel a lipstick crisis
Coming on. I'll be right back.

I'll go with you.

King of the sloths, huh?

I don't know. This year I might
Give you a run for your money.

Oh, really?

Yes. All kings
Must be dethroned eventually,

And this year
That crown will be mine.

All hail rory gilmore,
Future queen of the sloths.

All hail.

All right,
Time to make the rounds

To see which one
Of these lovely females

Is soused enough
To find my arrogance charming.

Finn, have you ever thought
About just wooing a woman --

Flowers, chocolates, a little
Slow jam in the background?

Slow jams
Are for the subtle, rory.

One too many
Has a delightful immediacy.

You coming, colin?

Absolutely.

I wonder how beer tastes
With ice cream in it.

I give you one month.

To do what?

Before you're back in school --
One month.

You are wrong.

Nope.

Oh, I cannot believe

How little faith
You have in me.

I mean, what kind of match
Would I be for you

If I just went running right
Back to a life of respectability

Without even attempting to join
The french foreign legion?

You love school.

Not anymore.

No!
You love school.

I saw it.
That doesn't just go away.

Well, I have reformed,
All right?

From now on, no more scheduling,
No more planning.

I am just going to spend my days
Making ice-cream beer floats,

And just taking life
As it comes.

You'll see -- new me.

If you say so.
I do say so.

Come on, come on.
I love this song.

We need to dance
The booze off and sober up.

Otherwise, one of us
Is going home with finn.

Oh, this is
For a good cause.

Take her.

Okay, save my seat
And order me a scoop of vanilla.

[ dance music playing ]

You have
A really nice place here.

I slept incredible last night.
I woke up to birds singing.

This town is so great.

I had to take one last
Early-morning ride around town

Before I checked out.

I can't wait to tell people
About this place.

Could you move
Your arm, please?

Huh?
Your arm -- that one.

Okay.

Uh, hi.

So how's your bill looking?
Everything okay?

Yeah, my bill's fine.

Okay, I'll put this
In an envelope for you,

And I'll be right back.

It's been a pleasure
Having you stay with us.

Hand me an envelope,
And don't ever do that again.

He was sweating
All over the desk.

He's also paying
A $600 hotel bill.

I don't care.
Smells -- they all smell.

The whole inn
Smells like sweat socks.

It's making me sick.

I have to work at that desk,
And I have no intention

Of catching jock itch
On my forearm

Because mr. "Breaking away"
Over there

Can't shower
Before he invades my space.

Just chill out
With the spray, okay?

Fine. By the way, your mother
Called a few minutes ago.

She says she wants to pick up
The rest of rory's things,

And she will be
At your house at 11:00.

Fine.

Hey! Oh!
Oh, there's your bill there.

So is everything all set
With your bags?

Yeah.

Good. Well, thank you
For staying at the dragonfly.

The cart's outside
To take you to your car.

Thanks.

Thank you.

Michel.

Michel:
I'm all over it.

Hello.
Won't you come in?

All right.
Thank you.

What are you doing here?

I was sent to open the door
Like a servant.

What?
Where's lorelai?

I don't know. She doesn't keep
The help informed.

She's not here?

No. I am here.

I am here and not
At the dragonfly inn,

Which I theoretically run

When I'm not busy
Answering doors like benson.

I don't understand.
You gave her my message?

I gave her your message,

And she told me to come
Over here and let you in,

Like I'm a puppy fetching
Slippers for a liver treat.

But I don't -- did she leave
Anything for me?

She left me.

But I just -- I can't --

Well, this
Is absolutely incredible.

Does she think
This is a funny thing to do?

I drive all the way
From hartford.

She did nothing.

Nothing's packed.
Nothing's ready to go.

Where are
Rory's good clothes?

I don't know, but I will
Continue to search for them.

Are you just going
To sit there?

I was instructed to stay
Until you leave.

Like I need to be watched,
Like I'm a meth head

Stealing a television set
To support my habit.

Well, this is
Completely unacceptable!

Rory needs something
To wear to court!

If you're talking to me,
You'll have to do it in woofs.

You've been working
With my daughter way too long.

Don't I know it?

Well, I have to say this is
A charming little courtroom.

It reminds me of my early days
Practicing law.

It is quaint.

I hope we picked out
The right outfit.

It's coming off a little more
Mennonite that I had hoped.

The girl looks fine, emily.
Leave her alone.

Are you nervous?
No.

And you shouldn't be.
Everything will be fine.

It'll be over
Before you know it.

The court calls the state
Versus lorelai gilmore.

Who is lorelai gilmore?

I am.
That's my real name.

[ chuckles ] Good thing
I found out about it now.

It could have been
A little embarrassing later.

Rory, rory. Unbutton
The sweater a little.

Emily, stop it.

I don't want her to look
Like she's trying too hard.

I understand that a plea
Agreement has been reached.

That's correct,
Your honor.

Miss gilmore, please stand.

Do you understand
That you're pleading guilty

To criminal mischief
In the third degree

In violation of section 117a
Of the penal code?

Charlie:
Yes, your honor.

You further understand
That by so doing,

You waive your right to a trial
By a jury of your peers?

I do.

I see that community service
Is recommended.

Miss gilmore has no prior
Record, your honor --

No history of getting
Into trouble.

20 hours
Of community service?

This was a youthful
Indiscretion, your honor --

A one-time childish lark.

My client
Is duly remorseful,

And I can assure you
It will never happen again.

I see you're
A student at yale.

Yes, your honor.

That's a very nice school --
Prestigious.

Yes, your honor.

I understand that the defense
Is portraying this

As a childish lark --
A youthful indiscretion.

Well, I take the law
Very seriously,

And if there's one thing I have
Very little tolerance for,

It's rich, privileged children
Viewing the world

As their private playground.

I don't care who you are.
I don't care who your family is.

When you commit a crime,
Miss gilmore,

There must be
Consequences -- period.

20 hours of community service
Won't do it.

I'm ordering 300 hours
Of community service

To be completed
In no more than six months

And one year's probation.

But I can't do 300 hours.

I-I have to get a job.

Well, add that
To your list of things

You should have thought about
Before you decided to joyride

On someone else's boat.

300 hours -- this is outrageous.
Charlie?

Now, assuming this is indeed
A one-time occurrence,

At the end of five years' time,
Miss gilmore

Can petition the court to have
This expunged from her record.

Record?!

You never said anything
About a record.

Richard, please.

Don't "Richard, please," me,
You two-bit double-talker.

Who are you?
Sit down.

I am her grandfather,
And this is outrageous!

I never should have let her go
With a ponytail.

You are going to have
To restrain yourself, sir.

I will not
Restrain myself.

I will not stand by
And let this girl walk around

With a record
For five years.

You're standing
On my foot!

I should never have listened
To you --

Making deals with a 20-year-old
Child in a cheap suit.

Hey!

I'm not duty-bound to do so, but
I'm happy to give miss gilmore

The opportunity to withdraw
Her plea and go to trial.

If she does so, she'll face
Additional felony charges.

Given the undisputed facts,

I'd think very hard
About that course of action.

Well, I think
It's something to consider.

Grandpa, no.
I don't want to go to trial.

I'll do the community service.
Please, just sit down.

Richard, sit down!

I do not want to withdraw
My plea, your honor.

All right. I will consider
This matter settled.

Court will recess
For 20 minutes.

Bailiff:
All rise.

This is not
That big a deal.

We got a little more community
Service than we wanted.

You're a lousy duck hunter,
Charlie.

It wasn't the weather,
And it wasn't the duck call.

It was you.

I was doing you
A favor, richard.

Well, do me
Some more favors, charlie.

Let's see if we can get the girl
20-to-life at sing sing.

That is it!

I'm hiring a lawyer
To sue that man.

Grandpa, did you tell mom
About the court date?

Of course I did.

You told her the time
And where it was and everything?

She knew
All about it, rory.

She simply showed no interest
In the matter.

Abe rosenstein!
Who?

That's who I'm gonna get
To sue charlie.

Goodbye, emily.

Go to hell, richard.

I'm not through
With you yet.

Richard,
You can't kill him here.

We're in a courthouse.

[ sighs ]

[ beep ]

Lorelai, it's your mother.
I want to thank you

For the surprise
You gave me this morning.

I can't wait to tell the girls
At the club all about it.

They're always bragging about,

Their daughters did this
And their daughters did that.

Well, finally I get to go
In there and say, "Oh, really?

"Today my daughter invited me
Over and then didn't show up.

"And then she had me watched
By a surly, barking frenchman

So that I didn't steal
Anything."

I didn't invite you over.

"Top that, ladies."

This was unforgivable,
Lorelai --

Disgraceful behavior,
Even by your standards.

And since I assume
You've torn up all of my notes,

I will read them to you.

I made copies.

"Dear lorelai, I was shocked
And saddened by your decision

Not to be at home when I came
By for rory's things."

My god!

There. That's all of her stuff.
You happy?

Lorelai, you scared me half
To death.

Yeah, well, follow-through --
It's always been my problem.

Um, so we've got clothes, books,
Stuffed animals.

I even checked the laundry

To make sure nothing was waiting
To be washed.

What do you mean barging in here
In the middle of the night?

Mom seemed extremely concerned
About getting rory's things.

She needed something
To wear to court.

Yeah, so I figured I'd better
Bring them right over here.

Lorelai, stop this.
I know you're upset.

I know you hate us.

I don't hate you.
Why would I hate you?

Well, because we --
Because you thought we --

You were just being you.
You couldn't help it.

What are you
Talking about?

The scorpion and the frog --
It's an old story.

The scorpion
Says to the frog,

"Hey, frog, give me a lift
To the other side of the pond."

The frog says, "No way.
You'll sting me, and I'll die."

The scorpion says, "Will not,
'cause then we'd both drown."

The frog says, "Cool."

So the scorpion gets
On the frog's back,

And the frog makes it
To the middle of the pond,

And the scorpion
Stings him.

As the frog is going down,
He says,

"Why would you do that?
Now we'll both die."

The scorpion says,
"Sorry. It's just my nature."

Frog. Scorpion.

I always thought
It was a turtle.

Whatever it was.
You guys couldn't help it.

Lorelai, why don't you sit
And calm down?

I am calm.
I'm fine.

You guys must be
Pretty jazzed, though.

You finally got a shot

At getting the daughter
You've always wanted.

I'm too tired
To have this conversation.

Rory -- here, right under
Your roof -- excellent.

You're being ridiculous.

Now you get your do-over --
A new-and-improved lorelai.

Congrats.
Very well-played.

Lorelai, listen to me.

I know you think some sort of
Con has been perpetrated on you.

It's only
A paper moon, dad.

The fact of the matter is,

Your mother and I were just
Trying to do the right thing.

We're all striving
For the same goal.

We want rory happy
And healthy.

She's taken a stumble,
But we can get her back

On the right track --
All of us, together.

And we're going
To need your input

And your involvement
To achieve that.

My involvement ends here
With the laundry basket.

What is that flip remark
Supposed to mean?

It's supposed to mean
That I'm out.

You've won.
She's all yours.

Of course, the laundry basket,
I'm gonna want back.

Please, luke, please?

Please, please,
Please, please, please?

Move.

Luke, I have to have
The ring back.

Kirk, I paid you
For the ring.

In fact, I've overpaid you
For the ring.

You gave me a certificate
Of authenticity and a promise

That none of the heirs were
Gonna sue me for possession,

And then
Our business was done.

Luke,
You don't understand.

I think that was the ring
That lulu had her eye on.

I had totally forgotten this
Until -- where are you going?

I'm leaving, kirk.
The diner's closed.

You can't leave
Until I get that ring back.

If I propose,
I'm gonna need that ring.

You have a suitcase
Full of rings.

That's the one
I remember her liking.

Pick another ring.

But my backup ring
Pulled through.

Plus, now there's talk of her
Wanting to be buried with it.

Good night, kirk.

Babette:
Luke, wait!

Oh, boy.

I have to talk to you!

Okay, babette, slow down.
I'm not going anywhere.

It's very serious!

I'm right here.
You can walk, babette.

Just walk, babette, please.
Walk. Slow down.

Oh! Jeez.

Oh, my god.
I smell toast.

I smell toast...
And almonds.

I smell almond toast.

What do you need,
Babette?

I need confirmation on a rumor.
[ inhales sharply ]

There's a rumor there's been a
Rift between lorelai and rory.

A rift?

A big rift.
Very serious.

That's why rory ain't home
For the summer?

Wow.

Who told you this?

Well, who else?
East side tillie.

That damn woman
Keeps trumping me.

Come on. Is she right?
Is it true?

It is true.
Oh, my god.

What happened,
And how's lorelai taking it?

She must be a basket case.
Is she a basket case?

Okay, stop. Look, there's been
A little incident,

But it's all going
To be fine.

Lorelai has it completely
Under control.

She's okay?
Trust me.
She's just fine.

[ breathing heavily ]

Nice ring.

[ thud ]

[ sniffles ]

[ crying softly ]

[ door opens, closes ]

Luke: full moon.
The moment's here. Let's go.

[ sniffles ]