All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E11 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously
On "Gilmore girls"...

Everything's magical
When it snows.

Everything looks pretty.

Do you know that
The best things in my life

Have happened
When it snowed?

Luke, you ought to be
Ashamed of yourself.

Your father was a re-enactor.

Yes, and I thought
He was crazy also.

I don't want you
Calling mom anymore.

Because every time
You come back,

It always ends up
The same way --

Mom's crying
And you're not being there.

Mom.
Hey, I'm...

Hey, surprise.

Look what mommy dragged in.

She called me, rory.

She called me.
She asked me to lunch.

So that gives you the right
To just waltz in

And screw everything up?

So, mom, do you think you and
Dad are getting back together?

Absolutely not.

I think it's time for me
To date.

Oh, my god!

So, do you think we could
Possibly do this again sometime?

That would be lovely, simon.

[ crying ]

[ sniffing ]

Hey, wake up.

[ wearily ] Wha...?

Wake up.
No.

Come on,
You're missing it.

Is it sleep?
'cause you'd be right.

Smell the air, smell it.

Smells cold.

Come on.
What?
No, it's freezing!

Come on!

[ grunting ]

The floor's cold.

You're so obsessed
With the cold.
Because it's cold!

I know. Come on.

[ growls ]
[ imitates growl ]

I'm turning numb.

Keep moving.

Are my feet still attached
To my body,

Or did they snap off
Coming down the stairs?

They're still there.
Why are we out here?

Take a deep breath.
What?

[ inhales deeply ]
Do it.

Yeah.

[ exhales ] Oh, yeah.

I smell snow. It's coming.
I always know.

I can smell it,
And I'm never wrong.

It wasn't in the forecast.

It's just my favorite time
Of the year.

The whole world
Changes color.

I think I'm blacking out.

Flakes, flurries,
Swirls, crystals --

Whatever form it comes in,
I'll take it.

We go back, snow and me.
We have a beautiful history.

Saw two forecasts.
Neither of them mentioned snow.

Cold, but no snow.

Sleigh rides, ice skating,
Snowball fights.

I'll even take curling.
God, I love curling.

Vance cranston on channel 6
Said it would be dry.

Kimmy liston, live at 5:00 --
Same thing -- no snow, nothing.

Hot cocoa, hot toddies --
Best time of the year.

Jimmy mountain
In accuchopper 1

Said it would be weeks
Before --

Vance and kimmy
Are idiots.

Welcome, friend.

Going inside now.
But...

One more whiff,
And then so are you.

Luke...

[ sighs ]

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Streetwalker?
Too urban.

Concubine.
Seems highfalutin.

Anyone see
"Farewell my concubine"?

Beautiful film.
Gorgeous cinematography.

I'm surprised you see
Such adult fare, reverend.

You picture me watching
"Sound of music" every night?

Gag me.
Scarlet woman.

I like it.
Too nathaniel hawthorne.

Who?
Read a book.

Harlot.
Nah.

Woman of
Accommodating morals.

Too long.
Hot mutton.

I wouldn't know
Where to begin.

What are you guys doing?

The first snow has arrived,
And with the first snow

Comes the town's
Revolutionary war re-enactment.

Always
A heel-clicking good time.

We've got a big surprise
For everybody this year.

Great.
I'll pretend I'm interested.

It's a big deal, luke.

It's the same thing
Every year, reverend.

You guys re-enact the time
A bunch of pigheaded morons

Stood outside all night
In the freezing snow

Waiting for a battle
That never happened.

This year is different,
Crank.

A local historian
Uncovered new evidence

Of stars hollow's participation
In the revolution.

Apparently,
An english battalion

Was awaiting the return
Of their commanding general

With plans
For a big battle.

Our soldiers caught wind of this
And blocked the highroad

So that the general
Had to travel

By the lower road through town
To reach his troops.

So they kidnapped him?

[ laughter ]

No, they were much slyer
Than that.

They had a brave lady
Of the town use her wiles

To draw the general to her rooms
And keep him "Occupied" there.

That delayed
The general's arrival,

Which allowed lafayette
The opportunity

To ambush
The waiting british troops.

A hooker stopped a battle.

We're not calling her
A hooker.

It's too "Baretta."

That's what we're doing --

Trying to figure out
What to call her.

A bit of stuff?
Too monty python.

This new re-enactment is
Going to be a huge boost

To tourism, luke.

The local press is
All excited to cover it.

Well, they're
Very easily amused.

Got a big casting session
Soon

To pick the lucky townswoman
To play our special lady.

She should be thin.

But not too thin.

Know anybody
Who fits the bill?

Not offhand,
But if I run into

Any moderately weighted whores
In my travels,

I'll let you know.

Morning.
Morning, again.

Oh, cool, the re-enactors
Are meeting --

Just another wonderful
By-product of snow.

Oh, yes, they're cooking up
Something very special.

You want coffee?

I'm late.
I'll grab it at the inn.

I'm actually looking forward
To my first cup of hot joe

At my new snow-covered inn.

Why are the re-enactors
Staring at me?

You wouldn't believe it
If I told you.

The reverend is blushing.
Why is he blushing?

I'd walk out of here
If I was you,

And try not to walk
Too sexy.

Okay, you'll explain
That to me later?
I'd enjoy that.

Hi, guys.

Pretty lady.

Too thin.

Well, it isn't
About your taste, andrew.

I'm going for
Historical accuracy, sy.

Women were heavier
Back then.

How about your wife?

You want
A sock in the nose?

No, no, jean, that works
Perfectly with my schedule.

And it's been forever
Since we've seen each other.

Oh, I'd love that. Mirabelle is
Still one of my favorite --

Oh!

Oh, my god! Oh, my god!

No, uh -- jean,
Hang on a second, will you?

[ telephone rings ]

Hello?

There's a dog
On the patio!

What? Emily?

Of course it's emily.

You sound agitated.

Did you get a dog?

Certainly not.

There's a dog
On the patio.

Where are you?

Inside.
Richard, do something.

I can't see it from here.

He's here nonetheless,
And he's looking at me.

Richard, the dog
Is looking at me.

Hold on.

I'm holding, but what are
We going to -- richard?

Shoo! Shoo!

Now do you believe me?

I wasn't doubting you, emily.
I just couldn't see it.

What is that?

You made it sound like it was a
Rabid beast, so I came prepared.

Don't get too close.

I don't see any froth
On its mouth.

Well, that's something.

I see a collar but no tag.
That isn't very smart.

You're getting too close.

Well, what should I do?
It's freezing out here.

We can't let it
Roam around.

Well, it can't come
Into the house.

Why someone would fail
To put a tag on a dog...

Take it to the pool house.
That's why we have it.

We have a pool house
For stray dogs?

Love the innuendo, emily.

Fine. I will take him
Into the pool house.

Thank you, richard.

I came out, and he was
Just sitting there.

It's a "He"?
I don't know.

I can't get a visual
From this angle.

It's not important.

Dog, I want you
To come with me.

Come along, dog.

He's following you.

Seems to be working.

Good job, richard!

Hey. You know who just nipped
At my nose? Jack frost.

You know who just nipped
At my ear? Jack I-don't-care.

Look outside, michel.

It's the first time we've seen
The inn blanketed by snow.

It's like a postcard.

I haven't been this excited

Since madonna just dropped by
"Total request live."

The floor's wet.
Are we getting the mats out?

We are without mats.

We ordered them
Eight months ago.

They were back-ordered
And due within 2 weeks.

2 weeks turned into 8 months,
And all we have to show for it

Is our special yellow
Back-order receipt.

It's such cheap paper
They use at the mat place,

That should have been
A clue.

What else can we put down?

Plenty. I saw two movies
Over the weekend.

They were both awful.

I meant put down on the floor
So our guests don't slip.

The good news is that
There will be less people

Who could possible slip.

What do you mean
"Less people"?

We've had four cancelations
In the last hour.

Why? What happened?

All due to snow.

Snow?
Our beautiful snow?

People say it is cold
And the streets are bad.

The streets are fine.
They're plowing away out there.

A graceful, gorgeous plow
Is pushing the snowy white

Out of the street
Right behind me.

They wanted nice weather.

It's classic
Connecticut-inn weather.

It's all the more reason
To come.

I would advise that you change
Our cancelation policy.

These people cancel
And have to pay nothing.

I hate charging people
For canceling.

We're doing things
Differently here.

Oh, yes. Bankruptcy
Will be fun and different.

Be sure to file for it
While it's snowing, won't you?

We'll go to bankruptcy court
In a horse-drawn sleigh.

Try to find mats.

I'll do what I can.

Hey, sookie.
Good morning.

How are you loving
Our winter wonderland?

My car wouldn't start
This morning.

Ugh. Drag.

And we're almost completely
Out of coffee.

So make some more.

I mean out out.
There's no more on the premises.

You're kidding.
I wish I was.

There's mountains of it
Stacked in the walk-in.

Heroin-sniffing dogs get excited
When they go in there.

Why do they get
All excited?

Because you smuggle heroin
In coffee.

No, I don't.

It was in "Beverly hills cop,"
Remember?

Why are you taking everything
So literally?

My car wouldn't start.

Since when does that make you
Take things literally?

When were there dogs
In the walk-in?

I'm saying we had a lot of
Coffee -- until now, apparently.

We're switching suppliers.
I found that new blend.

You tasted it,
You said it tasted great.

I'm letting
The old stuff run out

Because the new stuff's
Coming in.

The new stuff is back-ordered,
So it never came in.

Let's send out for more
Immediately.

Not possible.

Remember those
Wonderful snowplows

You were writing a sonnet to
Not five minutes ago?

Well, one of them dumped
A 10-foot mountain of snow

In our driveway.

There is no getting in
Or out.

Unbelievable.

It's not so bad
'cause with the cancelations,

No one's coming today
Anyway.

But we have to get out
To go home, eventually,

And to get coffee now,
So start the guys digging.

I should get the one guy
Who did not call in sick

Because of the snow and cold
To get digging?

Yes, get him digging.

It's okay.
It's all good.

Snow will be dug,
And mats will be found,

Coffee will be bought --
Everything's good.

By the way, there are still
People out there

Eating breakfast and...

And?

...And drinking coffee.

Customers.

Morning.

Stupid c-span.

Stupid c-span's
Had me on hold forever,

And I've got to get going.

You're not the only one
Who calls c-span, paris.

Right, like the guy
Who asked a question

About iran's
Long-range missile production,

Then shouted "Ba-ba-booey" --
Him, they put on.

Me, they've got
Twiddling my thumbs.

Dad.

Hey, kiddo.

What are you doing here?
I was in the neighborhood.

The baby's getting spoiled
By her grandma.

So, where you headed?
I have class.

Right -- college, classes.
I've seen "Oxford blues."

I should have
Put that together.

This is your place,
Huh?

Yeah. It's a little messy
Right now.

That's paris.

We've met.
Hi, paris.
Hello.

I've got a suggestion

For getting you
Out of the ratings basement,

And putting me on hold
Is not one of them.

So, you were just
Passing through?

Yeah, I was in the area,
Or the area near the area.

So, how about breakfast?

I don't have time.

It's the most important meal
Of the day.

And the most skipped.
Mornings are busy.

Forget busy, forget class.

Play hooky,
Have breakfast with me.

We can all go together
If you want.

I am kind of hungry,
And c-span can kiss my ass.

Okay, then, we're on.
Dad...

We can walk,
We can drive --

Dad, no! I have to go.
I can't be any clearer, okay?

Rory...

Well, we can certainly
Rebook you

Because we'd love to have you
Come anytime, really.

But if you reconsidered your
Cancelation and came in now,

You would find nothing less
Than a magical wonderland,

A snowy xanadu of goodness.

Really, bing crosby's
Warming up his pipes

Over by the fireplace --
Magical.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, driving in the snow
Is tricky.

No, I don't think I could get
Bing crosby to come pick you up.

Okay, well, just check
Your calendar and call back,

And I'll be here
To rearrange it.

Thank you. Bye-bye.

[ sighs ]

That was very graceful.

God, I'm desperate
For those mats.

I had been working
On those mats,

But you asked me
To shovel the snow.

And now I have a blister,
A muscle spasm,

And a neck crick,
And I have a date tonight,

And a crick will cramp
My kissing move.

Well, I appreciate
Your effort.

Are you being sarcastic?

Just a tiny bit.

You know
That I am light-boned

And cannot take
Physical exertion.

I work with my mind.

Well, you're excused
From shoveling duty.

Just focus on the mats.

We have another problem --
The goldfarbs are missing.

Goldfarbs?
Our goldfarbs?

The ones you recommended
To go cross-country skiing.

So they're out skiing.

They said
They would be back by noon.

Well, it's past noon,
And their friends are here

To meet them for lunch,
But the goldfarbs are awol.

They're what?
Awol! Awol!

Oh, a-wol.

What do I care?
I'm french.

The point is, we strapped
Wooden sticks to the feet

Of a fat orthodontist
And a woman with ugly jewelry,

And we lost them.

Oh, my god,
It's only noon.

Should I call
The authorities?

You think
We're there already?

What are you doing?
Cleaning up.

Let's wait another 20 minutes.
Keep calling their cellphone.

Oh, joy.

Please tell me you're not doing
What I think you're doing.

I'm just cleaning up.
We're shorthanded today.

You were pouring leftover coffee
From other people's cups

Into your own cup,
And now you're gonna drink it!

No, no, no!
Give me that cup.

If I don't get coffee in me,
Things are going to get ugly.

Going to get?

Be careful.
She's near the knife.

Give me that.
I'm ashamed of you.

I'm ashamed of me, too.

If that wasn't a cry
For help...

I'm going out.

The driveway's
Still blocked.

On foot.

The snow is soft
And 4 feet deep.

I'm going cross-country skiing
For coffee.

The goldfarbs
Have the skis.

I'm going out,
And I'm bringing back coffee.

Be careful of the floor.

Aah!
[ thud ]

Oh, I'm sorry.
We're getting mats, I swear.

Have a nice day.

Emily, hello.

I saw your car
In the driveway

And was just wondering
If everything was okay.

Everything's fine.
Thank you.

I've put off
My morning appointments

To sort of stabilize
The canine situation.

She's been fairly calm.

Oh, it's a "She"?

That has been ascertained.

And there's no I.D. Tag?

A gross oversight
Of its owners.

I found its exact breed, though,
Which may come in handy.

Oh, wonderful.

Let me, um,
Bring up the website.

Dogbreed411.Com.

Isn't that clever.

It's amazing, the information
Available on the computer.

There are websites
You'd be interested in, too.

Oh, I wouldn't know how.

Whatever you're interested in,
Just type it in.

The d.A.R. Or louis vuitton
Or franz schubert,

And you're off and running.

That easy?
That easy.

There she is.

The long-haired
Jack russell terrier.

I'll start calling the neighbors
And tell them we have

A long-haired
Jack russell terrier.

A female.
What's all that luggage?

That is a louis vuitton
Website.

I thought you might like
To peruse it.

Isn't that something.

Use that mouse there
To move around.

A mouse?

How fun.

Oh! [ chuckles ]

That was david hume,
A personal favorite,

And I'm not saying that
Because hume was scottish

And my mother's maiden name
Is mccammon.

More on
"The principles of morals"

And, perhaps, why scots rule
The next time we're together.

Have a good day.

And read.

Read.

Still here?
Still here.

This is for you -- coffee.
It might be a little cold.

Teachers sure talk a lot
Here at yale.

There's no bells.
Don't they have bells?

Nope.
Thanks for this.

You're welcome.

Look, rory,
That manic, desperate guy

Who came down to your dorm room
This morning, he left.

He's gone, and I'm not gonna
Bug you anymore, okay?

Okay.

I didn't think it through,

And I feel pretty dumb
Coming down here like this.

I just have to say,
Though, that...

I hate our relationship,
Okay?

I hate it.

This wall, this stupid wall --
It sucks.

And I put it there, but I wanted
To try to do something about it,

And I got a little desperate,
And I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I've been in hartford
A lot.

My dad's sick,
My mom's with the baby,

And I've had time to think,
And maybe that's not good.

But...My dad and I, we always
Had that wall, you know,

And, god,
For us to be that way,

Like my dad and me?

I don't want you visiting
When I'm old and cranky

And you feel like
You have to.

I want you to visit now,
And I want you to want to.

Look, I'm not gonna
Bother you anymore.

This wasn't fair
For me to do this,

Surprising you like this.

It wasn't fair.

Uh, here -- I didn't know
How you take your coffee,

So I got you everything.

I'll see you, kid.

Bye.

Taylor: this is not just an
Historic re-enactment, ladies.

This is an historic moment
Unto itself.

This will be the first time

That a member of the fairer sex
Has participated

In stars hollow's
Revolutionary war re-enactment.

Lulu is fully aware of the
Historical significance of this.

She's bright and sexy --
I'll tell you that.

All right.

My point is that this will be
The first vital role

A woman has played
In our re-enactment.

And you should know that
It is of a sensitive nature,

So if you're overly sensitive,
You may want to back out now.

Lulu's as insensitive
As they come.

Fine, kirk.
Thank you.

Now, we've little time,

And we have to choose
The right girl quickly.

Stand up, please,
All of you.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

All right, based on the visual
That we're looking for,

I must now eliminate
Numbers 2, 5, 7, and 9.

Thank you for coming.

Now, for the rest of you,

I need to see a demonstration
Of your acting abilities.

Please, give me
Your best "Come hither" look.

Your "Come hither" looks,
Ladies.

That was
My "Come hither" look.

Girls, girls!

You're supposed to be
Seducing a man.

Now, picture on horseback

A dashing,
Finely accoutered gentleman,

Firm of jaw
And solid of build.

I thought
You were doing it, taylor.

I am.

Oh! [ chuckles ]
You with your funny jokes!

[ laughs ]
Yes, me and my jokes.

4 and 8, you may go.

Yes!

Taylor, isn't 8
Your sister's kid?

Mm-hmm,
That's little debbie.

And you were coaching her to --
I mean, you had her --

Never mind.

Let's try the look again,
Girls.

You're being seductive.

Oh, kirk,
Don't be a pageant mom.

I can't tell
In these outfits.

You're all
So heavily dressed.

It's cold outside.

The young heroine of our story
Didn't think of the cold

When she gave up her greatest
Treasure for her country.

Lulu's got a bunch
Of hot outfits, taylor.

I can put her in something.

Not necessary.

Number 1...

Thank you for coming.

[ sighs ]

Rats.

Oh, lorelai!

How would you like to play
Our woman of easy virtue?

This is a straight offer --
No audition necessary.

That's the best offer
I've gotten all day,

But I'd have to say --
Aah! Aah!

Is that a "Yes"
Or a "No"?

It's a "No, thank you."

The level of commitment
In this town is stunningly low.

All right, girls,
Let's see your sexy walk.

Warmth!

What are you doing?

The icicle foot.
It's the latest dance craze.

All the hep kids
Are doing it.

Your shoe's all wet.

This evil puddle was
Lying in wait -- evil, evil!

Let me get you a towel.

Forget the foot.
I need caffeine.

I haven't had any all day.

I'll drink it, shoot it,
Eat it, snort it.

Whatever form it's in,
Gimme.

Should I bother to ask
How your day's going?

My shoe's an icicle,
The inn's driveway's snowed in,

And we lost the goldfarbs.

Who are the goldfarbs?

The two guests who bothered
To show up. I killed them.

You killed your guests?
Yeah, well, it happens.

The only bright side
Of my day

Is being asked to be
A prostitute.

That's something
To cling to.

Hot! Warn me!

That coffee's hot?
Sorry, coffee's hot.

My girlfriend's the whore!
My girlfriend's the whore!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Great. Now I'm not even
The town whore.

I'll leave something
On the dresser for you tonight.

Couldn't hurt.
Here.

It would help to put the word
Out there that we have a dog...

In case anyone hears
Of anyone looking for one.

That's right --

A white long-haired
Jack russell terrier.

Thank you, margaret.
I'll be here all day.

Bye.

Margaret witsome?

I figured a call
To the neighborhood busybody

Was the first order
Of business.

How's it doing?

Well, it seems to be
Asleep now,

But I am lacking a proper bowl
For its food.

I think I can help you
With that. Follow me.

What are you feeding it?

Well, I've got
Some leftover stew.

I'm going to pick
Chunks of meat out of it.

Stew?!

Richard, tell me that man
Of yours isn't feeding you stew.

Well, he proudly offered.

He said it was a recipe passed
Down by some dead relative.

But stew? That may be
What killed his relative.

I didn't think of that.

Promise me you'll make him
Prepare proper food for you.

That's what he's paid for.

I promise, emily.

Here we go.
Ahh, looks perfect.

And it's chipped, so just
Toss it when you're done.

Thank you, emily.

You're welcome.

And the stew is history.

Good.

From what I can gather,

This woman made eyes
At the british general,

And the british general
Was feeling a little randy.

Such a salacious history
Our town has.

She led him into her house
And kept the fellow occupied.

Occupied his brains out,
Huh?

Hey, don't work blue.
Sorry.

But why do you think
They didn't just kill him?

Maybe they knew
That we would ultimately

Make peace with england,
And they wouldn't want to kill

A potential
Great-great-grandfather

Of a winston churchill
Or a benny hill.

That was
Very forward-thinking of them.

Boy, do I know how to dress
A slut or what? I'm very proud.

You haven't said anything
About our first snow.

That's right, I haven't.

You don't sound
So excited.

Snow and I had
A bit of a bumpy ride today.

I may have been too needy
With snow -- too clingy.

It had no choice but to push me
Away, create a boundary.

Snow and men have
A lot in common.

Anything exciting
Happen today?

Get in a snowball fight
With a nobel prize winner?

No, no, nothing
Out of the ordinary.

Uh, but I'm sorry that snow
Was so mean to you today.

Oh, it's okay.
It wasn't snow's fault.

We had one bad day.

Every relationship
Has its bad days.

Doesn't mean
You drop and run.

You keep going, right?

Peaks and valleys
Keep a relationship fresh.

I agree.
Tomorrow is another day.

[ sighs ]

[ gasps ]

No.

[ sighs ]

Don't do that.

I want it gone! Gone!
I'm getting it gone.

But this is personal.

I'm physically hurting the snow
As I dig at it.

I'm chopping
Into its stupid white face

With my razor-sharp
Fingernail claws,

And I'm delighting in it.

You look deranged.

Take that! And that!

Why did you park it
Under a tree?

I have been parking this car
Under this stupid tree forever.

But it's snowing.
Yes, but snow has always
Protected me before.

It's been a white blanket
Of love.

We had a symbiotic thing
Going on.

Snow cannot protect you.

Snow is frozen water
Falling out of the sky.

As for this car
And this tree,

You can predict it --
It's gravity.

There's 4 tons of snow
On this tree.

You park under it,
Gravity's gonna come into play.

It's basic physics.

I do not need
A physics lesson,

No matter how well
It's intentioned.

It's over.
Oh, yes, it is over!

What is?

Me and snow.
We're through.

No, you're not.

It was years of bliss,
You know.

We had some good stuff
And good times.

I could show you pictures
Of the snow angels I made,

But I am done!

Well, let it down easy,
Okay?

And I am changing my
Cancelation policy at the inn.

Because of snow?
Yes!

From now on,
If anyone cancels

For any reason
That I don't agree with,

Within two years of the date
In question -- make it three --

Then I am not
Going to refund their money,

And I'm gonna kick them
In the groin!

But with my left foot

Because my right foot
Is still throbbing

From being frozen
In icy hole water,

Which has effectively ended
My foot-modeling career.

Foot modeling
Is a dying art, anyway.

I am with you now,
Buddy, 100%.

With me on what?

Snow is nothing but annoying
Icy frozen-water stuff

That falls out of the sky
At inconvenient times.

It's mother nature's icy
"Screw you, lorelai gilmore."

It's stupid stuff you have to
Shovel out of the way

So customers can get
Into the inn.

It's the stuff that melts
And leaks through your roof.

It's the stuff
That stalls your car.

It's the stuff
That buries your car.

Don't try to make up with me
Now! You and me are through!

Hello, robert.

Good evening, ladies.

Hello, girls.
You come together tonight?

Oh, no,
Just a lucky coincidence.

Well.
Hello, mom.

Hello, girls.

Hi, grandma.

I'm just here to sit
With the dog.

The dog?
When did you get a dog?

She's not our dog.
I'm no less confused.

And it's a "He."
The dog?

The dog is a boy.
I thought you said
It was a girl.

It was rolling around
On its back,

And it was painfully obvious.

They're so hairy
Down there.
This one especially.

It's going from weird
To weirder.

The usual beverage
For everybody?
He's not your dog?

It just showed up in our yard
Yesterday morning.

We have no idea how it got here,
Where it came from.

It is a very big mystery,
This dog.

Oh, I'm monopolizing things,
And I'm not even here.

Please, go about
Your drinks.

No, I'm having robert
Make one up for you, as well.

Are you sure? Because I'm not
Officially here.

Absolutely.

Thank you, richard.

So, how long are you
Gonna keep him?

As long as it takes
To find the owners.

Richard had to miss a half day
Of work yesterday.

But emily has agreed to write
A note excusing my absence,

So it should be okay.

Okay, now pretend
I'm not here.

You girls and I
Can chat later.

Okay. Heh heh.

Well, um, rory...
Oh, my god.

Did I tell you about the
Horrendous thing that mom did?

She can be such a witch
With a "B."

Lorelai.

Oh, jeez, mom.
I forgot you were there.

My pretending
Is that good.

We can't really pretend
You're not here, grandma.

That's true. You have a presence
That cannot be ignored.

Well, fine.
I can leave.

No, no.
The dog likes you there.

Join in the conversation,
If you wish.

Well, I am curious to know

When you girls got
The bad news today.

What bad news?
Christopher's news.

What about him?
You haven't heard?

Nothing.

Lorelai?
Same here.

I would have thought he would
Have called them right away.

Guys, what news?
You're making me nervous here.

Straub died.
Christopher's father
Died?

This morning.
Oh, my god. How?

Well, he'd been sick.

He'd been diagnosed a month ago,
But it had already spread.

He was
The picture of health,

So it caught poor francine
Completely off guard.

I can't believe
Chris didn't tell us.

He may not have been in shape
To think straight.

Did you check
All your voice mails?

Yeah. Yeah, I did.

It's terrible having
More than one answering service.

That's the way
You miss things.

We should send something
For the funeral.

Does he want us to go?

He was very quiet
On the phone.

You can't blame him.

He had a tortured relationship
With that man,

But none of that matters
At the end.

We should send him
A card or flowers.

We should send flowers.

Everything
Sounds so lame.

Whatever it is,
Send it to francine.

Christopher and the baby
Are staying with her.

I'll give you the address
Before you go.

We'll send something
Together, emily?

I've already signed your name
To some flowers.

Oh! He moved.
Is it supposed to do that?

Emily, let me show you how
He likes his blanket arranged.

He's a bit picky.

Poor chris.
I mean, it's so sudden.

Did you even know
His dad was sick?

Well...Kind of.

You knew?
Dad told me.

When did he tell you?

He didn't make it sound
Like it was a big thing.

And with sherry gone
And the baby...

Yikes.

Yeah, "Yikes."

Like this. The bump acts
As a kind of pillow.

Very clever.

There's a dog hair
In your drink.

I'll have robert make you
Another one.

That's okay.
No, no, I insist.

[ doorbell rings ]

Hi. I heard
About your dad.

Yeah, I figured you would
At your friday night dinner.

God, is tonight friday?

I didn't realize
How serious it was.

I wasn't listening.

Rory,
I kind of veiled it.

I'm sorry.

I brought cookies.

And milk.

Milk and cookies.

Is that okay?

[ speed dial beeping ]

Lorelai: hello?

It's me.

Hey. Where are you?

I'm just leaving dad's.

I came to see dad because
He came to school yesterday

And wanted to make amends
And have breakfast,

But I blew him off,

Even after he told me
That his dad was sick.

Maybe he did say
How sick he was --

Between the lines, at least --
But I just held him off.

And he didn't say
That he was dying.

I just felt so awful the whole
Time at dinner tonight.

It's okay.

No, it's not, because
Regardless of dad's faults,

He's human, and he needs us,
But he's so isolated from us

That he can't just call
Or reach out to me

Or to you, especially.

But he really needed
To call you,

And...You guys
Go so far back.

You knew his dad.

I know, but...

And now he's in the middle
Of dealing with all this sad

And practical stuff
Of his dad's death.

And he could really use
More visitors, especially you.

So...Go, please.
I want you to.

I'm glad to hear you
Say this, babe,

Because I'm sort of pulling up
Behind you here.

Good. Go.

I'm taking off,
So give him another hug for me.

I will.

And I told him to call
If he needs a babysitter.

Drive safe.

[ doorbell rings ]

You just missed rory.

We're relaying it
Tonight.

You guys
Are something else.

We try.

Milk and cookies?

Grown-up
Milk and cookies.

Come on in, friend.

Must you do that?

Do what?

Sip.

You object to sipping?

If it's done
At a decibel level

Rivaling louis armstrong
Blowing a high "C," I object.

I'll put my mute on.
Thanks, satchmo.

We're just minutes away
From the big re-enactment.

Do not talk in that high-pitched
Girly voice of yours.

Oh, now, come on. I'm a girl.
My voice is my voice.

I should have had a boy
In anticipation of this.

So it's your fault.
Or christopher's.

Whoever supplies that girl
Or boy part of the chromosomes.

I'm sorry
I'm not vivacious.

It was for a good cause.

I never remember to drink water.
That is the key.

Lots of water.

Pancakes -- surefire thing
To make my head

Feel less awkward
For being attached to my neck.

Then you are
Getting pancakes.

Have you ever been
This hung over?

I don't want to know,
But if you have, I am sorry.

And if you haven't,

Maybe your life has been
A little too sheltered.

Good night.

Has anyone seen taylor?!

I need to talk to taylor!
Time is of the essence!

Throw something sharp
At him.

Haven't seen him, kirk.

Oh, no. Oh, no.

What's wrong?

Uh...Nothing.
Everything's fine.

Lulu's dress okay?
And answer quietly.

It's perfect --
Fits like a glove.

Well, see ya.

I think his mother's
Overstarching his laundry again.

Where is luke?
I need to order before I puke.

Was dad drinking like this
Last night?

Oh, he was the pusher.

He just did not want
To stop talking,

And talking led
To more drinking,

And drinking led to more
Talking, but it was good.

I wasn't gonna stay that long,
But, you know,

I don't know if he even
Has many friends anymore.

All of his old buddies
Are scattered all around.

His support group is 2 and
Heavily into "Sesame street."

What time did you
Finally get home?

Sun high, birds sing,
Head hurts.

But it was good
That you went.

Yeah, I know.
He needed to vent.

He alternated between
Feeling bad about his dad

And not liking him so much
For being a jerk his whole life.

The one time I met straub,
He did seem a little bitter.

The venting took
A very weird turn

When he started coming up with
All his dad's negative traits

Corresponding
To letters of the alphabet.

"A," he was absent.
"B," he was a bully.

"C," he was cold.
"D," he was dreary.

What was "K"?

He was kuwaiti.

Kuwaiti,
Like the country?

As it got later,
It got sillier.

Sounds like you're just
What he needed.

You might be
His oldest buddy.

But he talked on and on
About you

And how good it was
That you visited.

We had some stuff
To figure out,

And we pretty much
Figured it out.

Hi.

Hey, I didn't know
You guys were here.

Hello, there.

I had to run
To the store.

Look at this --
This re-enactment lunacy.

Oh, we are
So front row for that.

Your eyes are red.
Got a bad night's sleep
Last night.

What happened?

Well --

I kept her up pretty late --
Girl talk.

So, what do you guys
Want to eat?

She would like --
More coffee.
That's all I want.

Okay.
How about you, rory?

I guess I'm fine
With just coffee, too.

You two are easy.

Spread that around,
Will you?

What about
Your pancakes?

Pancakes are hangover food.
It would get him suspicious.

I could have
Ordered them for you.

I wasn't stopping you.

I just wasn't fast enough.

I shouldn't have lied
About where I was last night.

I'm over 19 and lying
To my boyfriend. That's wrong.

I could just say
His father died,

And I went over
To comfort him...

With tequila, which we drank
All night long, alone.

He didn't need to know.
It's better that he doesn't.

He didn' need to know.

Oh! The re-enactment!
It's starting!

Voice.

The re-enactment
Is starting.

Much better. Let's go.

[ sighs ]

Welcome to stars hollow's
New historically accurate

Revolutionary war
Re-enactment.

To the members of the press,
I'd like to point out

My best side is my right side.

Left side's fine, too.
I was just kidding.

People forget that men of
The cloth can crack jokes, too.

Anyway, I'd like to introduce
Three special participants --

Bobby, tara, and craig,
Who were chosen from our own

Stars hollow elementary school
To narrate what you see today.

The year...

1779.
1779.1779.

The location...

Stars hollow.
Stars hollow.Stars hollow.

Children should shoot us
For what we make them do.

...An important turning point
When our brave town militia

Learned that
A powerful british general

Was riding
Through the area

To rejoin his troops
And wage a decisive battle.

It inspired an idea.

First the militia went off
To block the highroad.

Come on, men.
Let's block the highroad.

No horses? Wouldn't
They have had horses?

Or at least coconuts to bang
Together for a sound effect.

Students:
Brave, our soldiers are.

The british general
Had no choice

But to take the only passable
Road on this snowy day --

The road
Through stars hollow.

Soon, a scout arrived to warn
Of the general's coming.

The british general
Is coming!

So expositional.
I guess tony kushner
Wasn't available.

All:
And then the general arrived.

It's certainly unfortunate the
Highroad was blocked this day,

Forcing me
To ride through town.

This dialogue is worse
Than "From justin to kelly."

Then a brave woman
Put herself in harm's way

And emerged
To distract the general.

Rory:
Is that your dress?

Yeah. I made it
To lulu's specifications.

Did she get bonier
All of a sudden?

And taller?

Good day, fair lady.

You intrigue me.
What have you to say?

Kirk!

No wonder her breasts
Weren't holding it up.

What are you doing?
Where's lulu?

She's sick.

I tried to find you,
But you weren't around.

Everyone's looking.

I didn't want to let the town
Down with the press here,

So I just did it myself.

That's the ugliest lady
I've ever seen.

This is far and away the worst
Thing you have ever done.

I am livid with you.

We're not supposed to be
Arguing, taylor.

We're supposed to be
Making love.

[ camera shutters clicking ]

Dear god.

Boy:
This simple, common woman

Whose livelihood
Defied laws of morality,

But acting in a fashion
In which god would forgive her,

Led the british general
To the warmth of her boudoir.

She saved stars hollow.

[ laughs ]

Reverend.

Sorry.

The british general
Was kept occupied long enough

For lafayette's troops
To ambush his men,

A decisive victory
For the colonists.

All: thanks to
The stars hollow militia

And the woman...

Now what? Is it over?
No idea.

How far are kirk and taylor
Gonna take this thing?

I'm not leaving
Till I find out.

I have to get back to the inn.
Keep me posted.

I'm riveted.

Hello.

Hello, richard.
How are you?

Very good. And you?

Excellent.

I was going to check
On the dog.

I'm thinking of putting some
Fliers around the neighborhood.

Fliers are tacky,
But they work.

And I thought you could
Look up on your computer

Where the best place
To print them is.

The dog is gone.

Gone? He's gone?

She's gone.

I thought you said
It was a boy.

Apparently,
I misread what I saw.

She was very hairy
Down there.

Someone you called
Called someone else

And somehow found the owner,
And she came

And picked the dog up
Late last night.

I didn't hear anyone
Come by.

I would have called you, but
I didn't want to disturb you.

It wouldn't have
Disturbed me.

Well, I'll know that
For next time.

Not that we'll ever find
A dog in the yard again.

Well...

I hope you told them
To get an I.D. Tag for it.

It's irresponsible
Not to have one.

I told them
How much they put us out.

I missed a half day's work,

And you were inconvenienced
Even more.

Yes, I was.

Her name was "Princess,"
By the way.

Was it? Princess?

Well, I should get back
To the house.

I've got a million things
To do.

I have to go to work.

Believe me, I know the futility
Of fighting mother nature.

She's been a real mother
Lately --

Almost rivals my mother.

Yeah, but you and your plow

Do control mother nature's
Droppings, a.K.A. The snow,

And all I'm saying is
Could you try to keep it

From blocking the dragonfly's
One and only driveway?

It kind of locks us in,

And we get all cranky
And claustrophobic,

Especially
When we're out of coffee,

Which I'm not anticipating, but
I didn't anticipate it before,

And it happened,
And I suffered withdrawal pains.

Right.

Well, I really appreciate it.

I actually like plows.
They look like fun.

Right. I'm sure
Plowing doesn't pay enough.

No, that part's not fun.

I used to be a maid.
I know low wages.

Well, I'm really not comfortable
Telling you

What I made then
Or what I make now.

Anything you can do will help.

Okay, thank you.

What is this?

It's an ice rink.

An ice rink?
How did this happen?

Jack frost brought it.

Does he look like
Luke danes?

Not as handsome.

You made me an ice rink?

It's just a rink in a box.
You fill it with water.

It's not a big deal.

It is a big deal.
It's a very big deal.

Here, try it out.

My dad did this for me once.
I was in a hockey phase.

That's how I broke my nose
The first time --

Skated
Right into a tree.

What in the world
Inspired you to do this?

I felt kind of bad
About you and snow

And the rough time
You were having.

And I wasn't helping any
By saying all that stuff

About snow being a pain
And impractical

And it's just icy water
Falling from the sky.

I thought maybe
I'd get you two back together,

Make you feel better
About snow again.

I'm grumpy about stuff,
But I don't want you to be.

Careful.

[ giggling ]
I'm being careful.

Thanks for
Reconciling us.
Anytime.

You were lying
This morning.

You said you were fine,
But you didn't look it.

You get sick or something
Last night?

No, no, I just had
A headache -- still do.

Just one of those things.

Yeah, I get headaches.
I just feel bad.

That's all it was --
A headache.

I love this ice rink.

Try it out.

[ chuckles ]

Oh.

Oh, it's great!

Keep away from trees.

I look like a dork,
But I love it.

You look fine.

You want to be randy
To my tai?

I'll just watch.