All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E10 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Whoa, honey.

Oh! I'm sorry.
I didn't see you there.

Goodness. What's left to wear
On your feet?

It's a sickness.

Everyone thinks it started
With bradshaw,

But actually it came over
On the mayflower.

What a wonderful
History lesson.

[ man shouting
In foreign language ]

Pasqualie's feeling
Unappreciated again.

We had stars hollow
Loves pasqualie day last week.

Didn't stick.

Listen, I want to invite you
To my anniversary party.

Which husband?
Oh, no husband, honey.

I'm talking about a lover

That's been much more loyal
And seductive than a husband.

I'm talking about that
Business we call show.

40 years.

No.

40 years ago today, I did
My first play off broadway.

Off broadway.

Cleveland.

That is off broadway.

Anyhow, I thought
I'd throw a big party --

Food, booze, a little song,
A little dance,

A little salsa
Down your pants.

Count me and my pants in.

Oh, wonderful!

I will even drag luke there.

So if there's any audience
Participation,

Please pick on him.

Oh, luke won't come.

I have very effective
Methods of persuasion.

They include extremely
High heels

And all of jessica simpson's
Bath products.

No, honey. The party's
On tuesday, the 30th.

So?

So the 30th
Is the dark day.

What dark day?

Luke's dark day --
The day that he disappears.

Disappears? Where?

Nobody knows.

Nobody knows where he goes
Or what he does.

Why didn't I know
About this?

I don't know, honey.
Everyone else does.

Anyhow, you come
Yourself, okay? 8:00.

I'll be there.
See you tuesday, patty.

Oh, pasqualie, the maestro!
My god, you look virile today.

Are you sure your wife
Won't share you?

Oh, she's good.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

I don't agree.

You're living
In a fantasy world.

I have classes all day long.

I hear you protesting.

I've got a double major of
Poli-sci and bio-chem, terrence.

I see you over-scheduling.

Sorry, I'm just getting
Water here.

You're not yelling at me.
You're yelling at the world.

I'm not yelling at all.

This is the natural register
Of my voice.

It's a timid girl who is not
Putting herself out there.

I am putting myself
Out there.

Why are you arguing
With terrence? Why?

Look, I know I haven't dated
Lately,

But asher was very
Important to me.

Paris, I can't find my notebook.

You have not put
Yourself out there.

He just died.

He was halfway dead
When you met him.

Rory, has she been putting
Herself out there or not?

Out where?

Out in the world.

Has she tried to meet men
Since asher died?

You don't just meet people.
It doesn't happen.

I'll just go in my room now.

Look at your dream log.

You are months behind -- and
Your pretty-thoughts journal.

Okay, fine. I have neglected
Thinking pretty.

But I hardly think I should be
Penalized for time lost

While you were
In court-ordered rehab.

Hey, paris, what's this?

I had a back problem.

This is a message from
Headmaster charleston.

When did headmaster charleston
Call?

Earlier.
And you didn't tell me?

I'm in session.

Hello, headmaster charleston,
This is rory gilmore.

I'm sorry it took so long
To call you back.

I just got your message.

Sweetie, that was a little
Passive-aggressive.

We should talk later.

So, um, how are you?

I'm very well.
How are you enjoying yale?

I love it.

It's everything
You thought it would be?

It's better, actually.

I have no doubt.
Now, I'm calling

Because we often ask
A former chilton student

To host a prospective yale
Student for a couple days,

Show them around, let them
Observe classes, campus life.

I was wondering
If you'd be interested.

Me?

Yes, this is a very special
Young lady --

Bright, focused,
Quietly determined.

She reminds me
A great deal of you.

I assume
You haven't changed.

Well, I've upgraded the wardrobe
A little bit,

But I'm basically still me.

Then I hope you'll
Consider accepting.

I know your workload
Must be substantial.

I can handle it.

I can take that as a yes?

Yes, take it as a yes,
And thank you.

I'm honored.

Her name is anna fairchild.

She's 16 years old,

And she'll be arriving
Monday morning at 9:00.

Does that work for you?

That works perfectly.

I'm very glad to talk to you
Again, ms. Gilmore.

Yale certainly sounds like
It's agreeing with you.

I hope it will also agree
With miss fairchild.

Like sabrina.

I beg your pardon?

Sabrina fairchild.

Have we segued
Into discussing a movie?

And we can segue
Right out again.

All right, then.

My office will be contacting
You with the particulars.

I hope you have
A wonderful time.

Thank you.
I won't let you down.

What a nice thing to hear.
I'm sure we'll be talking soon.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well, this is a very
Big honor, you know.

Oh, I know.

Of all the chilton alumni
At yale, they're asking you?

Well, have you thought about

What kinds of things
You'd like to show her?

Well, she'll go to all of my
Classes with me, of course.

And I thought maybe she'd go
To the paper with me,

And then maybe a trip

To the beinecke rare book
And manuscript library.

Oh, you're going to show her
The gutenberg.

Steve?
Bible.

Then I was torn between

Taking her to the hewitt
Memorial quadrangle

Or the science center
And gymnasium.

Huh, that is a conundrum.

Yeah, especially since
She'll be snoring by then.

You'll be dragging her dead body
Weight around the campus.

Lorelai, these things
Are of great interest

To any young person considering
Attending yale.

Oh, I am sure.

I personally would enjoy
Every single thing on my list.

Yes, I know,
But it wouldn't hurt

To maybe throw a little
Something fun in.

I'm not talking a kegger,

But just walk her by the crazy
Drama students yelling,

"Give me a location,"
Or something like that.

Your mother may be right.

Who heard that?

A good college experience is a
Well-rounded college experience.

It's important for you

To show her that yale students
Have fun, too.

Oh! Have her touch the toe!

Yeah!

Touch the toe?

The toe -- the statue
Of theodore woolsey.

It brings good luck to everyone
Who touches his feet.

He has one left toe that's
Been rubbed completely shiny.

Make sure you get

A parent-consent form
For that one.

Oh, it is so exciting
Watching you at yale.

It was such a wonderful time
For me.

The people that you meet there

Will stay with you for the rest
Of your life.

Are you making good friends?

Yeah, I have
Some good friends.

And what about mr. Huntzberger?

Who's mr. Huntzberger?

Um, logan huntzberger's
A boy I go to school with.

A fine boy from a fine family.

You know him?

Well, you know
Mitchum huntzberger, lorelai.

He's been coming to our
Christmas parties for years.
No.

His mother's on the pediatric
Hospital committee

With your mother.

[ gasps ] Oh! No.

Well, logan is their son.

I noticed you two seemed to be
Hitting it off the other night.

The other night?

He's very nice, grandpa.

I don't want to be too forward,
But you made a handsome couple.

Was logan at the male
Yale party you guys threw?

He's the one who gave me
A ride home, mom.

Limo boy. Swell.

He's also on the paper
With me.

His father owns
Some of the finest newspapers

In the country.

Not a bad connection, huh?

Nope, not a bad connection
At all.

[ chuckles ]

Hey, so tell me
About this logan.

It's 3 degrees out here.

My father knows more personal
Dish about you than I do.

That's not right or fair.

He doesn't get as much enjoyment
Out of the dish as I do.

You're just talking to keep
Yourself warm, aren't you?

What is the deal with this guy?
Are you dating?

No, we're not dating.
He's just a friend.

How close? For example,
If we freeze to death,

Will he come to the funeral or
Just send a nice fruit basket?

I know him from school.
He's just a casual friend.

Do you think he's cute?

It doesn't matter.

Oh, it matters to me.
I don't want ugly grandchildren.

Mom, I'm not dating logan
Or anyone.

I'm taking a boy break.
I'm concentrating on school.

Fine, but if that changes...

You'll be the first
To know.

'cause there are not many ways
I can outdo my father.

Info on you and looking better
In chiffon, that's about it.

Oh, and my pole dance
Is way hotter.

I'm frozen now.

Okay, let's go.

In my hand,
Ladies and gentlemen,

Sits the true advantage
Of dating a diner owner.

I am never more than 10 feet
Away from pie.

I thought it was the way

We always smell faintly
Of meat.

It's heaven.

One quick trip downstairs, and
I have all the treats I want.

You're like willy wonka
But hotter.

I am not hotter
Than willy wonka.

Slap on a purple top hat,
And you're close.

[ sighs ]

[ sighs ]

This is nice.

Mm-hmm.

I think it's going very well,
You and me.

You think
It's going very well?

I have very few complaints.

I'm going right past the "Very
Few complaints" comment

'cause I know you're just trying
To bait me.

What complaints?

Hey, so, luke, miss patty

Is celebrating
Her 40-year anniversary.

Which husband?

With the business
We call show.

And she's having a big party,
And I told her we'd go.

Oh, man.

It'll be fun.

It will not be fun.

She'll be wearing tap shoes,
And there'll be songs and punch

And at least one story about
Milton berle's penis.

Only one?

I have to have you there.

Otherwise, people will think
I made you up.

Fine, I'll go.

Thank you. Okay, so,
It's tuesday at 8:00.

I can't go tuesday.

Why not?

I have to go out of town.

Why?
Business.

Business?
Now you're willy loman?

Banking business in woodbury.
Sorry.

Hit the light, will you?
I have to get up early.

Night.

Okay, night.

Wait till you see all the stuff
I got for anna.

Yale t-shirt,
Bulldog sweatshirt,

Yale baseball cap,
Visor, coffee mug.

I told you to open a window
When you're hot-gluing.

It's freezing outside.

Oh, wait, this is new.

The yale soda cozy.
How cute is that?

You don't even have your
Card-swiping job anymore,

And you're buying all this
For some kid you don't know?

I'm trying to make her
Feel welcome.

Oh, she'll feel welcome.
They all feel welcome.

Who's they?
The enemy.

Any girl under the age of 17
Is the enemy.

Okay, I'm opening
A window now.

They're going to take
Our jobs, our thunder,

Our starter husbands.

They're coming, and they are
Going to keep on coming,

Like the locusts
Descending on mankato.

We'll be beating them off
For the rest of our lives.

Please don't be here
When she arrives.

I don't want you
To scare her off.

She's the one
With the alabaster skin

And the perky breasts.

Do not say "Perky breasts"
To her.

Do you understand me?

Eve harrington has arrived.

Hi, I'm looking
For rory gilmore.

I'm rory.
You must be anna.

Great, come in.

Did you find it okay?

I got lost a couple of times,

But people were really nice
And got me here.

Yeah, it's a friendly world
Out there, isn't it?

Anna, this is my roommate,
Paris, and I'm sorry.

For what?
Trust me.

Okay, let me show you
Around the place.

That is paris' room.

Don't go in.

And this is the common room,
Which is also your bedroom.

The bathroom is literally
Outside the door.

There's a fridge with water
Or soda or whatever you want.

Oh, and I got you some
Welcome-to-yale gifts.

Oh, really?
Thank you.

I'm really glad you're here.
You are going to love yale.

It's an amazing place.

I mean, I was excited
When I first started here,

But every day is different
And better.

You have no idea how
Much there is to learn.

Oh, well, you'll see.

Okay, I actually snagged us
Some caviar.

They were all out
Of toast points,

But I think we can use doritos

And achieve a very similar
Result.

This is anna.

[ gasps ]
Did paris move?

I'm right here, marty.
I know, paris.

Anna is from chilton,
And I'm showing her around.

Oh, cool.
I'll put this in the fridge...

In my room.

Thanks.
Okay, you ready?

You have boys bringing
You food. [ chuckles ]

Yale is a magical place,
Anna.

A magical, magical place.

The oldest part of the campus
Is, of course, the old campus.

And it houses most of the
Undergraduate freshman class.

It was begun by
Theodore dwight woolsey,

President of yale
From 1846 to 1871.

Over here
Is the elihu yale bench.

Now, eli yale was an officer in
The british east india company.

He gave, what was then called
The collegiate school,

562 pounds and 417 books

And a portrait of king george
The first.

And so it was renamed
In his honor.

He actually gave an additional
500 pounds to the school,

But yale college
Never received it

Because he mistakenly sent it

To the nonexistent
Collegiate school,

Apparently forgetting that
Yale was named after him.

[ chuckles ]

Oh, wait,
This is the wrong bench.

So keep the story,
But cross out the diagram.

Moving on.

There's actually
An ongoing rumor

That you can automatically
Graduate and earn your degree

If you become fluent in
Latin, greek, and hebrew.

Imagine all the tables

You could wait with those
Skills, huh?

Okay, you are about to get
A firsthand feel

Of what it's like to work
On a real newspaper.

Now be prepared.

It is an extremely hectic,
Fast-paced environment.

Don't get intimidated
And don't get in the way.

Ready?

Here it is.

Everyone must be out getting
A scoop or something,

But you just wait.

It can heat up in a second.

And when it does,
Man, watch out.

My desk is over here.

I do not care!

Hey, I am your editor, paris,
And I demand that you tell me.

I won't you tell you
Where I got it, doyle.

You will if you want to stay
On this newspaper.

Okay, you are now privy

To one of the classic
Journalistic dilemmas

Between reporter
And editor --

The right to withhold
And protect sources.

Damn it! You tell me where you
Got that pen right now!

The pen fairy.

That was one of my personal
Fine-point gel-tip pens

From my right-hand drawer.

You took that pen
And it's mine!

For "Fine-point gel-tip,"

Substitute
"Confidential source

Deep within
The administration."

Hmm? You get a little thrill,
Don't you?

[ cellphone rings ]

Hang on a second.

Hey.

Have you ever heard anything
About luke's dark day?

His what?

Well, one day a year,
He apparently has a dark day.

No one knows where he goes
Or what he does.

I've heard nothing
About this.

Okay, well, did we see him
On november 30th last year?

How am I supposed
To know?

Because you keep all those anal
Bob graham kind of notebooks.

"8:00 a.M., got up.
8:15, brushed teeth.

8:25, had impure thoughts.
8:36, sent dwarves off to work."

I do not have my diaries
From last november

On me at the moment.

But you do have them.

Yes.

And they will contain where
We ate breakfast that morning.

I love my little circus freak.

I'll call you later.

Did your mini-me show up?

Yeah, she's right here.

Oh, how's the tour going?

It's going great.

How many boring bench lectures
Did you give?

Two, but they were
About the same bench.

I have someone standing
Abnormally close to me.

I'll call you later?

Say hi to kirk for me.

Bye. Kirk,
What can I do for you?

I have a business proposition
For you.

How often do you slip
In your tub?

Never.

It doesn't work
If you answer like that.

I never stop slipping,
Even when I get out.

Then my new line of bath
Adhesive decals are for you.

"Yesterday, today,
And tomorrow."

Yesterday's retro designs
In today's fashion colors

With tomorrow's traction
Technology.

Well, kirk, this looks
Very impressive...

And wow, very expensive.

It's yesterday's retro designs
In today's fashion colors

With tomorrow's
Traction technology.

Why don't you leave
The catalog with me,

And I'll look it over?

Could you look at it now?
It's the only one I have.

I like that one.

If you put the fishe''
Faces together,

It looks like they're kissing.

Oh, kirk, do you know anything
About luke's dark day?

Everyone knows
About luke's dark day.

Do you know what it is?

Not the details, just
That he has it once a year.

I think it goes back
A long, long time.

Yeah?

Sure, I mean, luke's always had
A touch of darkness in him.

I guess we all do,

But luke's a little
More touched than some.

He's kind of grabbed,
Actually.

When I was in 7th grade,

Luke knocked the books
Out of my hands.

Because of his dark day?

No, everyone knocked my books
Out of my hands.

I was kind of a target.
I used to wear a cape to school.

Hmm.

Now, outside, we just passed
The women's table,

Which was designed
By maya lin.

She's also the one who designed
The vietnam war memorial,

Which, by the way, originally
Was a class project

For which
She received a "B."

The teacher
Who gave her the "B"

Also submitted a design
For the war memorial,

But hers was chosen,
His was not.

That's a life lesson
To remember.

This is sterling memorial
Library,

One of my favorite places
On campus.

It was built in 1930,
And it houses over 1/3

Of the university's
10 million volumes.

I love libraries.

I spend I can't tell you how
Many hours just --

You're not writing.

Oh, sorry.

So I come here sometimes
Late at night --

I just love
How everybody's dressed.

What?

No uniforms. I love
That there's no uniforms.

College to me means
No more uniforms.

Oh, right.

However, wait till
You're late for class,

And it takes you 20 minutes
To put together an outfit.

Suddenly you'll miss
Those uniforms.

How many guys have you dated
Since you've been here?

Oh, well, none from yale.

Anyhow, the books --
Are you seeing the books?

Everything you'd want
To read is right here.

Feel it.
Feels good, right?

Now smell it.
[ inhales ]

[ sighs ]

Nothing, nothing smells
Like that.

I'm sorry. Did I just see you
Smell that book?

Hey, logan.

Hey, ace.
Who's your friend?

Oh, um, anna, this is logan.
Logan, this is anna.

She's from my high school.

I'm showing her
Around campus.

No. I would have sworn
You're a college girl.

So she's showing you
A good time?

I'm showing her everything
Important.

Make sure she takes you
By the pub -- local place.

I'm not taking her
To the pub.

Please?
The pub sounds fun.

You don't have to drink.
They do have coffee.

It's a cool scene.
Make her take you.

What are you doing
In a library, anyhow?

I got lost.
Don't tell anyone I was here.

It'll ruin my rep.
Anna, it's been a pleasure.

He's cute.

Yes, he is, but not
As cute as pushkin.

Right this way, missy.

[ arguing indistinctly ]

Luke: fine.
Do whatever you want!

You're giving me
A week's notice.

What am I supposed to do
With a week's notice?

My son just called me
From florida.

Fine, go, enjoy florida.

They have great weather there --
Terrific hurricanes.

Make sure you bring plenty
Of plywood and bottled water!

Hey, hi, hello!
What are you doing here?

I was just driving
Down the street.

Hello, mrs. Thompson.

Hello, dear.

So, what's going on?

Nothing's going on.

Luke, please understand.
There's nothing I can do.

I've already found someone
To rent the house.

You just agreed to that?

It seemed reasonable to me.

Oh, come on!

Luke's very upset
With me.

Why?

His father rented
The garage.

He was building a boat, and he
Didn't have room at his place,

So he paid me to do it here

And then when he died, luke
Continued to pay for the garage.

And now I'm moving
To a nursing home,

And I need him to move his boat.

You're mad because
This little old lady

Is moving to a nursing home,
And you have to move your boat?

She called me
Out of the blue,

And I paid
For an entire month.

I can give you a partial refund
If you like.

Where am I supposed to find
A space to store a boat

On a moment's notice, huh?

Did you think about that
For even a second?

Could we sit down?

The doctor says the screw
In my hip is loose.

Yes, yes, let's sit.

Let's sit and calmly try
To figure this out.

I've got it figured out.
Just haul it off! Trash it!

Haul what off?

The boat?

Yes, the boat.
Scrap it.

Find somebody to drag it away
And cut it up for firewood.

Who's gonna haul it off?

Anyone. Just find a guy
With a truck and a hook.

He'll strap it on and drive it
Away and send me the bill.

I'm done.

Luke.
I'll be right back.

Luke, stop.
What, what, and what?

I have been paying that woman
Every month for 15 years.

She's moving
To a nursing home.

My dad was paying her every
Month 20 years before that!

Nursing home, luke.

She's not trying
To hurt you.

Hey, where are you going?

Back to the diner.

Let me drive you.
No.

I can drive you back
To the diner.

If we pass any senior citizens,
I'll let you pants 'em.

Fine.

And over here we have
The world-famous luke's diner,

Home of the best coffee
On the east coast

And the most delightful
And chatty proprietor

Since mel kissed
Flo's grits.

[ chuckles ]

Okay, well,
I should get back to the inn.

I hope you've enjoyed
Your tour.

Don't forget to buy yourself
A souvenir plastic monkey

On the way out.

[ sighs ]

Tomorrow's the anniversary
Of my dad's death.

Uhh, oh, hon.

And every year on that
Anniversary,

I, uh -- I disappear.

I don't work.
I don't talk to anyone.

I get into kind of a funk.
It's like, um...

You have a dark day.

Yeah, I have a dark day.

I thought
I should tell you this

Because we're
In a relationship.

I thought you might wonder

Why I suddenly don't answer
The phone or I'm not around,

Or why you can't flip
Your hair and con me

Into going to miss patty's
Crazy anniversary party.

The hair flip
Is that effective, huh?

You combine that
With your black dress,

You could probably get me
To be her backup dancer.

I've never told anyone
This before.

I don't really like to talk
About it.

I guess that explains the
Thing with mrs. Thompson.

[ sighing ] Yeah.

Some timing, her springing
This boat thing on me now.

I'll apologize to her.

[ sighs ]

You know, he never
Finished that boat.

It's been sitting there
Half done for 15 years.

Don't you think you might
Have been too hasty

About the boat decision?

I mean, you're upset,

And I bet someday
You're gonna be really sorry

You don't have that boat
Anymore.

No, it's better
She gets rid of the thing now.

But...

I haven't even looked at that
Boat since my dad got sick --

Not a glance, nothing.

Even more reason.

If it's gone, then I don't
Have to deal with it.

It's time to move on,
You know?

I'm fine, really.

Thanks for the ride.

Any time.

I love it here.

We just walked in.

I know, but it feels
So collegiate.

Actually, you know what
Is great about this place?

Eli yale drank here?

No, they make amazing
Cappuccinos.

Do you want one?

Okay, you go sit,
And I'll get the coffees.

Two cappuccinos, please.

Hey!

Hi! You just get here?
You want a...?

Yes, please.

I'm sorry. Could you make
That three cappuccinos?

I think I may have
Overwhelmed anna.

Her hand cramped up
About an hour ago.

Where is she?

She's right --

I turn around
For one minute.

Excuse me.

Rory, mark and matthew
Were just telling me

About a great party tonight.

Really? Well, that was
Very nice of them.

Thank you,
Matthew and mark, was it?

That's right.

Well, how biblical.

Okay, well, our schedule is
Completely full at the moment,

But if that changes,
If things lighten up,

Or if she suddenly ages two
Years in the next three hours,

Then we'll know where
To find you, okay?

Bye-bye, now.
Bye-bye.

We'll be over here
Just in case.

Rory!

Anna!

Well, this is so not fair.
You get to talk to boys.

What?

Well, you were over there
Talking to marty.

That's different.
Marty's just a friend,

Which is another great thing
About college.

You learn
To have guy friends.

Nothing romantic,
Just a good pal.

Those boys are not
Interested in your friendship

Unless the word "Friendship"
Is tattooed on your butt.

Now, drink your coffee.
It's good, huh?

Mmm.

Can I sleep
With the tv on?

Um, yeah, as long as
You don't wake paris up.

And that advice
Is for your own good.

If I can't go to sleep?

Then you don't go to sleep.

I love that!

I love not having someone
Tell me when to go to sleep.

Yes, it's great.

I love sleeping
With the tv on,

And I love having no parents
Around, and I love cappuccino,

And I love apple muffins,
And I love college!

What's she on?

Four cappuccinos and three
Red bulls from the fridge.

Enjoy your night.
How do I look?

Where are you going?

I'm putting myself
Out there, rory.

It's 11:00 at night.

Who are you hoping to hook up
With now -- spike and drusilla?

Just tell me if my lipstick
Is too whorish.

Going out at 11:00 at night?
I love college! [ laughs ]

I may suffocate her
When I get back.

If you can catch her.

Good luck.

Good night, anna.

Good night.

Which brings us
To this question.

Does campbell's work
Successfully resolve

The disparate stances of jung
And freud

When it comes to
The collective unconscious?

Hey, pay attention.

Professor bell is one of the
Foremost philosophy professors

In the country.

All right.
Let's call that close enough.

But now, campbell can point to
The repetition of the hero myth

In culture after culture
And say,

"Hey, sigmund, like it or not,

Here are the same basic
Characters over and over" --

Excuse me.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm right in the middle
Of a class, young man.

I know, and I'm sorry.

Rory, you can't just walk out
Like that.

You just left.
I was still in bed.

What is that all about?

You need to do this later.

I can't do this later.

Rory, I love you.
I love you, damn it.

How many times
Do I have to tell you?

Okay, out!
Right now, just get --

What are you doing, man?

Get the hell out of here!

She's with me now.
Let it go.

Rory, tell him
You don't love him.

Everything was fine
Until you came along.

I swear to god
I'm gonna kill you.

Oh, I'd love to see you try.

[ both grunting ]

Stop it!
Stop it right now!

Anthony, get security!

It's not the time
Or the place for this.

You are losing control!

[ blows whistle ]

[ british accent ]
All right, that's enough.

Break it up, you two.

Rory gilmore, you should be
Ashamed of yourself

Toying with these boys
Like this.

They used to have pride.
They used to have dignity.

They used to have balls.

[ laughter ]

Damn it, gilmore!
Give them back their balls.

[ laughter continues ]

[ cheers and applause ]

This is a lot of junk.

I know.

Who has three thigh masters
Besides suzanne somers?

Well, mrs. Thompson,
Apparently.

You'd think if you had
Three thigh masters,

You'd wear some slacks
Once in a while.

Why, exactly, did you have
To take all this crap?

It was the only way I could
Get her to give me the boat.

Some guy wanted it,

And she got him to buy
All her other crap.

So if I wanted the boat,
I had to take everything,

And that's what I did.

I just have to hide it for
A few days, then I'll move it.

Where?

I don't know.
Somewhere. The inn!

Are you ever gonna
Tell luke?

Yes!
When?

A week, a year.

I haven't thought that far
In advance.

I just couldn't let her get rid
Of his dad's boat.

What if we hang
The thigh masters on it?

Or get more trees.

Jackson's got some trees
At home.

You think
I could borrow them?

We'll just wait till
He lies down for his nap

And sneak them out.

Great. Then I'll hop a fence

And get richard widmark
To sign my grapefruit.

I'd like to welcome you all
To today's speed-dating session.

Many of you have been
With us before.

Many of you are first-timers.

So for the latter group,
Here are the rules.

Each couple will have
One minute to talk

And get a sense of the person
Across from them.

When the bell rings, the women
Will get up and switch tables.

Men, stay where you are.

This will continue until every
Woman has met every man,

And after that, it's up to you.

Are we all ready?
Then let the dating begin.

[ bell dings ]

I'm jack.
Paris.

Did your parents
Travel a lot?

Why?

Your name's paris.

Did your parents change flat
Tires a lot?

What?

Or plug the phone
Into the wall a lot?

So we've cleared up
That mystery.

What's next on your fascinating
List of talking points?

Uh, what's your major?

Seriously, you've got one minute
To make an impression,

And that's all
You can come up with?

You want to know
My sign, too, jack?

How about my favorite color?

Or if I'm a britney
Or a christina?

I'll ask you a question.

Was the last time you had
An interesting thought

When you considered flinging
Yourself off a building?

[ bell dings ]

Bye, jack.
I'll write mother immediately.

[ sighs ]

Paris, and no,
My parents didn't travel.

Uh, billy, and I have no idea
What that means.

Never mind.
So, what's your story, billy?

Well, I'm a drama major.

Ding, ding, ding!

Doyle.
Paris.

Surprised to see you here.

I could say the same
For you.

So, you find
Any good prospects?

Oh, yes, one girl wants
To have 11 children.

The second one was cut off
Quickly. Thank you.

I believe the words
"Latter-day saints"

Were about to come
Out of her mouth.

This is my third time.

You ever meet anyone you
Actually wanted to date?

My bar is so not that high.

I don't see one person
In this room

That shouldn't be sterilized
Immediately.

So, you've been reading
About those skeletons

They've been finding on the
Island of flores, right?

Oh, yeah. I mean, they're
Only 13,000 years old.

That's nothing
In geological time.

They made tools and probably
Had a language and --

[ bell dings ]

Keep moving, sister.

They were supposed
To be master hunters.

Even though they
Were diminutive in size.

And then when that other guy
Came in in that outfit,

How great was that?

We also studied
Dylan thomas today.

Why don't we talk
About that for a while?

Yeah, that was cool.

But when logan and colin
Started to fight,

That was so amazing.

The teacher had nothing
To say, nothing.

He just stood there.

Think they'll get
In trouble for that?

Oh, probably not.

Oh, god! That's great!
The freedom.

I mean, you can do anything
In college.

No rules, no consequences.

Well, anna, there are always
Consequences.

College is not just a crazy,
Wild, sleep-deprived

Hedonistic society.

Oh, it wasn't the tv.

No, it wasn't the tv.

This isn't
What it looks like.

I hope not.

I told you
It wasn't the tv.

Hi, paris.

All right, fine.
Doyle and I had sex.

Okay, anna, get your coat.

We considered
Having dinner first,

But we both knew where it was
Going to end up,

So we figured we'd just
Cut to the chase.

Hurry up, anna.

Where are we going?
Dinner.

It's only 5:00.

You've no right to be repulsed
By my sex life.

This is an exceptionally
Comfortable robe.

Dinner whenever you want,
Random sex whenever you want.

I can't wait to go
To college. [ giggles ]

Ice cream and cereal
For dinner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
College rocks.

Ladies.

How are we doing
This fine evening?

We're doing great.
You want to join us?

So, dull day, huh?

Not for me.

Someone's quiet.

Got nothing to say.

Do you get the sense
That she's mad at me?

Anna, why don't you head on
Over to the fro-yo social?

You remember
Where it is, right?

Yeah, but I just had three
Scoops of ice cream.

You're in college now.
Go get yourself some yogurt.

Are you going to come,
Logan?

I'm not sure how well

I'll be walking here
In a minute, anna.

Oh, okay. [ chuckles ]
Bye.

That's not a good look.

I have no words.

It was just a joke.

Oh, no, wait.
I thought of some.

Jerk, ass, arrogant,
Inconsiderate,

Mindless frat-boy lowlife
Butt-face miscreant.

"Butt-face miscreant"?

Why would you do
Something like that?

I'm sorry.
"Butt-face miscreant"?

Here I am,
Trying to show anna

What college life
Is really like --

That is what college life is
Really like.

Maybe your college life,
Not mine.

That was my class, logan.

That was my professor
Who decides my grades,

And you made me look
Ridiculous to him.

No, I made me look
Ridiculous to him.

Oh, you don't think he
Thinks I was a part of it?

I'll tell him you were
An innocent bystander.

The whole class was in a frenzy
The entire time.

We never got back to what
We were talking about.

There's another class
Next week.

I know that classes and the
Paper and yale, in general,

Mean nothing to you, but
It means something to me.

Professor bell's course
Is only six weeks long,

And you blew one
Of those weeks for me.

I won't get that week back.

Look, you want up close and
Personal time with bell,

My dad knows him.
He'll arrange --

Please stop talking.

I'm sorry
You're so bent out of shape.

Anna thinks that yale
Is just a big joke.

If anna thinks that yale
Is just a big joke

After spending five
Minutes with you,

Then she was always gonna think
Yale was just a big joke.

You and me --
Very different people.

I have to go.

To the fro-yo social?

Yes, I have to go
To the fro-yo social.

Yes, I do realize how incredibly
Stupid that just sounded.

Excuse me.

All I'm saying is I just want
A little information.

Is this a relationship?
A one-night stand?

The beginning of a series
Of late-night booty calls?

I think I have
The right to know.

Terrence: I hear you.
Doyle, do you hear her?

I just don't understand

Why we can't decide this
Amongst ourselves.

Because you can't, doyle.

Now, please tell paris
How you feel.

Well, I feel --

Speak into the phone, doyle.
I can't hear you.

Is anna here?

No, why?

She didn't show up
At the fro-yo social.

I have to find her.

Why? Did you loan her money
Or something?

Just go back to what you were
Doing, please.

Hey, marty, I lost anna.
I don't know where.

Um, just -- thanks.

If she comes back here,
Call me.

Any idea where she'd go?

No. She was
Supposed to meet me.

I can't believe I let her
Go off by herself.

Well, we'll find her.

Hi!

Where would a 16-year-old girl
Go for a good time?

Oh, how sad that you had to come
To me for this conversation.

You were 16 a lot more recently
Than I was.

I lost anna.

How did you lose anna?

She never showed
At the fro-yo social.

16-year-old girl at college.
You have to check parties...

Bars, and chinese restaurants
Rarely card.

No chinese restaurants
Around.

Did you check the pub?

No, the pub.
Parties and the pub.

Okay, call me when --

Luke: ow!
[ crashing ]

Uh, I have to go, hon.
Call me when you find her.

Okay, bye.
Bye.

Oh, my god.
Are you okay?

I smashed my leg
On a thigh master.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, and then I tripped
And smashed my other leg

On another thigh master.

Why the hell do you have
So many thigh masters?

I have a really bad
Thigh complex.

Are you bleeding?
Do you want to come in?

No, I'm fine. You left
Your glasses at my house.

I thought
You might need them.

I thought you were going
To patty's.

I was just leaving.

But I don't have to go
If you want to come in.

I'm still going through
My...Dark day.

I'm gonna go.

Okay.
Sorry about your foot.

What's going on
With your garage?

Your garage door
Looks all weird.

It's fine.
It's jammed just a wee bit.

You can't leave it open
Like that.

You could ruin
All your stuff.

No, that's okay --
Too much stuff, anyhow.

So if a little bit
Gets ruined,

It serves me right for being
So darn materialistic.

What are all these trees
Doing here?

No, no, no. Just stop.
Go back to your dark day.

There's clowns in there
And puppies wearing costumes,

And they'll cheer you up,

And then your dark day
Will be ruined.

What is this?

It's your boat.

I thought I told her to get rid
Of this boat.

She sold it to me along with
All of her other crap.

I just couldn't stand the idea

That you might regret someday
Giving this boat away.

Even though I said
I wanted it gone.

But you were upset.

No, I was cranky.
Now I'm upset.

I'm sorry. I...
I just thought --

You thought about you
And how you'd feel.

You didn't think about me
Or the fact that I said

I wanted to get rid
Of this damn boat.

I said it, you heard it,
And you ignored it.

Because I didn't want you --

You have no respect
For what I wanted.

This was my dad.

This was his boat,
And this decision was mine.

This was not yours.

I know.

This is who I am.

I don't want to hang on to
Things or stare at things.

Except my horoscope,

Which is absolutely the wrong
Thing to bring up right now.

I'm getting out of here.

No, I'm sorry.

Please...Just stay
And yell at me.

Why? What's the point?

You don't listen
To anything I say anyhow.

She's nowhere.

She's not nowhere.

Well, there's more bars.
We'll find her.

If I didn't have to confront
Logan like that,

I wouldn't have had to send her
Off on her own,

And we wouldn't be looking
For her right now.

We'll find her.

He's so frustrating,
That guy.

I don't know what I did
To get on his bad side

Or why he just has to come
After me like --

Oh, stop it.

What?

He's not coming after you.
He likes you.

He does not.

Oh, please, rory.

Marty, he does not like me.
I mean, look at what he did.

Look at that stunt he pulled.
He totally humiliated me.

Attention like that
From people like logan

Is like being tapped.

You've been anointed.
You're in.

In what?

In with him, with his group.
He likes you.

Stop being so naive.
It's annoying.

[ cellphone rings ]

Hello?

Ms. Gilmore,
Headmaster charleston here.

Oh, hi, headmaster charleston.
What's going on?

Well, not much.
Thank you for asking.

I was just wondering how things
Are going with miss fairchild.

Oh, fine.

Yes?

Everything's great.

Wonderful.
Then I can inform anna's parents

That the underage girl
The yale campus police found

When they broke up
A rather raucous party

Is, in fact, not their daughter.

I'm sorry,
Headmaster charleston.

And what a help that is.

I tried. I just --
I turned around for a moment.

Did she tell you
About the bench?

I'm sorry, ms. Gilmore.
I have to go.

Some angry parents will be here
In a moment to talk to me.

I appreciate the attempt.

Good luck at yale.

Bye, headmaster charleston.

The campus police got her.

She came, she spent one day
With me,

And she got sent home
By the police.

And I think I'm going to
Retroactively flunk high school.

At least she's safe, right?

Right.

Crappy, crappy day.

You want to take a cab?
My treat.

Thanks.

I think I'm gonna walk.

Marty...

I'll -- I'll see you
Tomorrow.

What are you doing?

I smell like trees.

You do?

Hey, me too!

Now we're the crazy
Pine-scented ladies.

How's your punch?

It's good.

You okay?

Yeah, fine, just fine.

Thank you.
Thank you, everyone.

I'm honored that you came here

To help me celebrate 40
Wonderful years on the stage.

It feels so good to be here
In front of an audience

And so close to a piano...

So close to a piano.

Kirk!

Sorry.

Hey, patty, why don't you do
A little something for us?

Well, if you insist.
Hit it.

* way down among brazilians

* coffee beans grow by
The millions *

* so they have to find those
Extra cups to fill *

* they got an awful lot
Of coffee in brazil *

* you can't get cherry soda

* 'cause they have
To fill their quota *

* and the way things are,
I bet they never will *

I'll be right back.

* they got an awful lot
Of coffee in brazil *

Hey.

[ sighs ]
See, there's a reason

I stay away from people
On this particular day.

Oh, luke, I'm so sorry.
I should have listened to you.

I should have stayed
Out of it.

You were right.
I-I didn't think.

I mean, I didn't think
Like you would think.

I thought like I would think,

And my thinking is sometimes
Very, very wrong

If you're not me --

You just keep thinking
Like you'd think.

I can do that.

Do you want to come in?
You can get drunk

Just standing next
To the punch bowl.

Nah, I'm still kind of...

I get it.

I just didn't want us
To --
We're not.

Yeah.
You go have a good time.

See you tomorrow.

Yeah, you'll see me
Tomorrow.

[ sighs ]

* la, la, la

* la, la, la

* la-a-a-a-a

* la, la, la

* la, la, la

* la-a-a-a-a

Logan.

Huh? Richard?

Wow, this is a pleasant
Surprise.

Fynn, colin, you know richard,
Don't you?

Logan,
I wanted to talk to you.

I just heard
About the incident.

The...?

I heard that you professed
Your feelings for rory.

What?

Mr. Bell is a dear friend,
As is the dean of admissions.

Well, you know this place,
News travels fast.

Yeah, look --

I have to tell you
That while I understand

What could have driven you

To such a public display
Of affection,

There is a proper time and place
For that sort of thing,

And a classroom in the middle
Of class is not one of them.

No, I know. I --

However, what's done is done.

So I dropped by to tell you

That I've spoken
To your father.

We pounded out
A few things --

Property agreements, prenups,
That sort of thing.

I think there's been --

We came to a very
Fair agreement.

I'm sure you'll be pleased.

Now, we're setting up a dinner
For next week

To finalize the engagement

And start talking
About the ceremony.

Emily is handling all the
Newspaper announcements,

So not to worry.
That's all taken care of.

She's a fine young lady,
Logan.

I want her to be happy.

You'll take care of that,
I assume.

All right, I'll let you get
Back to your coffee break.

Nice seeing all of you
Again.

And, logan,
Welcome to the family, son.

* la, la, la

* la, la, la-a-a

* la, la, la-a-a-a-a,
La, la, la, la... *

I do hope one of his
Dopey-looking friends knows cpr

Or he just might
Not make it.

You're the best, grandpa.

All right, who's next?
Paris giving you any trouble?

Not any more than usual.

However, there is a girl
In my modern poetry class

Who keeps kicking my chair.

[ chuckling ] Ahh,
I do love this place.

Right back at you,
Grandpa.

[ laughs ]