All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E09 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Psst! Lorelai.

Jackson.
Shh.

Just come here a second.

I need you to get some stuff
For me from doose's.

Jackson, what are you doing?

Stop saying my name.

Look, sookie's got major
Food cravings,

And I can't go in
To leech headquarters.

They'll be all over me
In two seconds flat.

Selectman job isn't getting
Any easier, huh?

No, it's getting worse.

Like last week --

Ann benninghoff comes to me,
Right?

She wants to put a sales cart
Outside the colonial museum

Selling revolutionary war books
And "Just a few arrowheads."

Fine, but then sally lannigan
Hears about that,

And she wants to sell
Her pine-needle sachets

Out in front of the gazebo.

Fine, but then kirk comes to me
In an outrage

Because he's allergic
To all pine-scented things,

And how could I not know this?

And pretty soon, I'm nothing but
An empty suit of jackson skin.

Ew.
Well, what do you need?

Oh, thanks.
Uh...Let's see here.

Grapefruit juice, milk duds,
Bloody mary mix,

Extra-spicy turkey sausage --

This is all going in the same
Blender, by the way --

Good lordy.

Chives -- I'm getting
A stomachache just
Reading this list.

Give it to me.
I'll brave headquarters for you.

Thank you, thank you,
Thank you.

[ sighs ]
Do not go where you're going.

Well, what's one leech
Versus a swarm?

I have no sanctuary.

The pothole on the road to the
Dragonfly is getting worse.

Kids are starting
To swim in it.

I'll put it on the list,
Along with everything else.

Top of the list, please?
Jackson!

Don't. Shh.

Was that too loud?
Can't always tell.

It's on top of the list.

Be back in a flash.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Sookie, I'm home.

I'm home, too!

Were we followed?

I don't think so.

Good thing we ditched
That audi in marseilles.

Now we just have to find
That tracking device.

Sookie, honey, what's wrong?

[ crying ] I just --
It's just -- it's just so sad.

Oh!
People magazine.

Jackson, you know we don't allow
Soft human-interest stories

Around sookie
When she's pregnant.

She must have snuck it in.

I feel like they were perfect
For each other, you know?

Uh-huh.
Who, honey?

The two of them.

I mean, with the hair and the
Teeth and the -- you know?

Who's got hair and teeth?

And then the divine brown
Thing happens,

And bammo --
Their love's in the toilet.

We're talking elizabeth hurley
And hugh grant?

She must have found
An old one somewhere.

That was years ago, sookie.

Tons of people have broken up
Since then.

Oh, my god!

No, no, it's okay.
Everyone's together and happy.

Dispose, please.
Gladly.

Oh, is that my food?

Yes, yes, look.

We got, uh, turkey sausage --
Extra-spicy like you wanted.

Yuk.

And grapefruit juice.
Ugh.

Rappini.
Ugh. Puke.

You're not craving things
Anymore, are you?

I'm sorry.
No.

Oh, I mean, I'm so friggin'
Impossible.

You're so good to me,
And you go to all this trouble,

And you get me everything
I want,

Then I don't want it anymore.

I'm sorry that you have to be
In love with a crazy person.

Come here.

I'll tell you what --

I'll deal with as much moodiness
And food weirdness

As you can dish out
As long as you do

The actual "Squeezing a human
Being out of your body" part.

[ chuckles ]
Deal.

Okay.

That car just slowed down
As it went past the house.

Jackson, why don't you
Get away from the window
And go relax or something?

Oh, I shouldn't be near
A window.

Why don't you take it easy,
Sweetie, and go check on davey?

All right, but if anyone
Calls for me,

I'm not here...
And I'm armed and dangerous.

He love you.

Then he's certifiable...
Because I'm certifiable,

And you have to be certifiable
To put up with that.

Hey, you're pregnant.

You're not supposed
To be normal.

[ chuckles ]

I guess so.

And it may be mean,

But when I worry too much
About how I'm treating jackson,

I just remember brandy.

Brandy?

Christopher's brandy.

Christopher's sherry?

Oh. [ chuckles ]

I knew it was something
Like that.

Anyway, I'm handling this
All better than her.

How is he, anyway?

Christopher?
Fine.

Wow, you know what?

I have no idea.
He never called me again.

Really?

Not once since I went
Over there.

I assume he's doing fine,
But I don't know.

He never called?

All those problems with the baby
Were solved in one night?

Kind of weird, isn't it?
A little.

You never know with him.

He's as unpredictable
As a pregnant woman.

No offense.
[ chuckles ]
None taken.

I hope he and g.G. Are okay.

The last time I was over there,
He was duct-taping her diapers,

But...I'm sure he's found
The tabby thingies by now.

Yeah, I'm sure he's okay.

Milk chocolate
And artichoke hearts.
What?

That's what I want, and I'm not
Going to change my mind.

Milk chocolate and...
Bell peppers!

Now I'm not going
To change my mind.

Jackson, I figured it out!

Milk -- dark chocolate.
Ooh, taffy!

Taffy and walnuts.

[ gasps ]
Taffy -- ooh, pistachios!

Ooh, hearts of palm!

Paris, please don't compare
Our reading speeds again.

You're fast, I'm slow.
Enjoy your trophy.

I need the exact time
Of today's sunset.

I'm in the middle
Of an article.

Well, if you read faster,
You wouldn't be.

Okay, the time of today's
Sunset is 4:31.

Okay.

Then I just have to keep
My mind occupied until 4:31.

Paris.
What?

Tell me again why you're
Fasting for ramadan.

Look, rory, if you want
To crib your articles

From the a.P. Wire,
That's your business.

I, on the other hand,

Actually give a rat's ass about
Journalistic integrity.

When I write about ramadan,
I experience ramadan.

Are you chewing gum?

What?
Yes. Why?

I'd really prefer it if you
Didn't chew it at me.

Paris, did you know
That not eating

Can make people
Kind of snippy?

Ramadan is about a lot more
Than just not eating.

It calls for a total abstinence
From food particles

Passing through the mouth
Or nose.

Your bazooka is passing
Through my nose.

[ knock on door ]
It's unlocked.

Hey, marty.

So, I just bartended
This crazy brunch

With chocolate fountains
And floating ice sculptures,

And I snagged us all kinds
Of hors d'oeuvres.

Oh, nice going, bucko.

Okay, so, she didn't really mean
"Nice going," right?

'cause there's sort of a
Devil-eye thing going on.

She's fasting.

People came to america to escape
Religious persecution.

[ cell phone rings ]

What religion is
Anti-leftovers?

Hello.
Lorelai:
Hi. Guess where I am?

Mom.
Go on, guess.

Oh, I don't know, luke's?

But not just at luke's --
On the phone at luke's,

And it's all perfectly legal

Because I'm on the diner's
Phone.

A loophole. Nice.

You got to love a loophole.

Getting to use luke's
Behind-the-counter phone,

That's like getting to wear
His letterman jacket.

I know.

Maybe now he'll ask me
To the sock hop.

I'm glad you guys are all
Loopholey and sock-hoppy.

It's nice.
Yeah.

Well, um, I just called to, you
Know, uh, brag about my loophole

And check on plans
For friday night dinner.

Hey.

Hold on a sec.

What are you doing back here?

You didn't have permission to be
Behind the counter, did you?

You don't need permission
If you're the girlfriend.

A sack of potatoes falls
On your head,

The insurance company doesn't
Care if you're the girlfriend.

Well, you're storing potatoes
In a very weird place

If you're worried about them
Falling on people's heads.

Go. Go. Get.

Okay, I'm getting.

He's kicking you out?
No.

It's just my boyfriend's
So protective of my safety,

The thought of food falling
On my head makes him crazy.

So, anyway, what's better for
You -- carpool or meet there?

Meet's better, I guess.

Okay, honey,
I'll see you there.

Oh, wait -- there's something
I want to run by you.

Can't you just plug your nose
Or something?

Sure, ask a billion muslims
To plug their noses.

That makes a lot of sense,
Marty.

Okay, so, I've got an idea.

Finally this yale thing's
Kicking in.

I am sick of humoring
Grandma and grandpa

During this stupid separation
Of theirs.

This "Drinks here, dinner there"
Is dumb.

It's not working, and we should
Not do it anymore.

Well, if you feel it is best to
End the friday night dinners,

Then as your mother, I feel it
Is my duty to support you.

I'm not saying we should end
Friday night dinners.

Okay, well, then,
As your mother,

I feel it is my duty to tell
You you're wrong.

We need to take a stand.
No more humoring.

We need to get them in a room
And talk some sense into them,

And to do that, I think
We should divide and conquer.

So this friday,
I'll have dinner with one,

And you'll have dinner
With the other.

Hey, what happened to the idea
Of ending friday night dinners?

Because I thought that one had
Real potential.

This way, we can each talk
To them one-on-one,

Break them down,

Convince them that their
Separation isn't okay with us.

It's not?

Mom, I know they both want
To be with each other.

Hon, my parents are very
Stubborn.

I don't want you to get your
Hopes up about the outcome.

But I can't stand it
The way it is.

I think they both miss
Each other,

But they're just too proud,

And it's just -- it's kind of
Breaking my heart.

So...Which one do you
Want me to take?

How about I'll take grandpa,
And you'll take grandma?

Ahh, no!

Okay, then I'll take grandma,
And you take grandpa.

Ahh, no!
Mom.

Can't I take the butler?

He doesn't talk much,
And as far as I can tell,

Thoroughly enjoys
The way I dress.

She's throwing things at me.
Religious sanctuary, please.

The butler is not an option.

Lorelai:
Fine, I'll take her.

Thank you. Bye.

Ooh.

What's the bacon
Wrapped around?

Something bacon should never be
Wrapped around.

Rich people.

They live
Very different lives.

Thanks.

So, that was rory?
Yeah.

How's she doing?
Fine.

With the dean thing and all,
The breakup?
She sounds okay.

Actually, she's petite,
But she's strong.

Good. I'm glad.

Don't gloat.

I'm not gloating.
Yes, you are.

I just said I'm glad she's okay.
That's not gloating.

It was your tone, like you were
Covering up for being gloaty

By sounding extra nongloaty.

Lorelai.
You always hated him.
I get it.

I never hated him.

I just never thought
He was right for rory,

And I swear,
I'm not gloating.

If it walks like a gloat
And quacks like a gloat --
I wasn't.

I got to go.
Kiss.

I stink.
There's your headline.

Keep your distance.

You better run.
I'll call you later.

If I don't strangle myself with
The phone cord, I'll answer.

Hi, t.J.

Three feet, lorelai,

'cause I haven't showered
In as many days.

Uh-oh.
Goodbye, t.J.

I need your shower, buddy.

Sorry. Broken.
Really?

'cause you're looking
Powder fresh.

I am not powder fresh.

Come on, luke, we got no water
At our new place,

And the flies,
They are a-buzzing.

Man!

Fine, use my shower, t.J.

You're the best,
You know that?

I worship you.

Yeah, you should build
An altar to me.

You know, I know I shouldn't
Ask you this,

But why isn't your water
Turned on?

'cause the pipes got trashed

After I demo'd
The upstairs bathroom.

You weren't going
To demo the bathrooms.

But I had a little accident
Installing the towel rack,

And the next thing you know,
The whole bathroom's demo'd.

Because of the towel rack?

I got very angry
At this towel rack.

Yes, that's very normal.

But I got
Some replacement pipe.

I just got to cut it up
Into shorter pieces

And stick it together,
And we're good to go.

Okay, sounds like you know
What you're doing.

I just need some kind of tool
That cuts pipe.

What would you call that?
I don't know, a pipe cutter?

That's it!
A pipe cutter!

You know anyone
Who's got a pipe cutter?

I have a pipe cutter.
Would you like to borrow it?

That cuts pipe, right?

Hey, t.J., why don't you just
Hire a professional?

Because I'm trying to be
Responsible.

What with the move and being
In escrow and everything,

I'm not exactly flush,
So I figured I'd do it myself.

Is that so wrong?

I'll help you cut
The pipe, t.J.

Oh, hey,
That's beyond the call.

You've got to be the best
Brother-in-law in the world.

Uh-huh. Thanks.
Anything else?

You know, it's real hell trying
To make coffee without water.

Have some coffee, t.J.

And a cruller
To cut the bitterness

'cause sometimes --
No offense --

I find your coffee
A little bitter.

I mean, it's good.
It's just a little bitter.

We need to talk.

Shoot.

There's a couple here
I thought I recognized,

But I was not sure, so I
Consulted an old guest ledger

From the independence inn

And found a physical description
That confirmed their identities.

Physical description?
Yes.

I had described them
With astonishing accuracy,

Down to the crooked eyes
And unsightly moles.

You have a system of describing
What people's moles look like?

Mm-hmm.
Moles, freckles.

Are they buxom?
Is their chin cleft?

Do they walk with any sort
Of limp?

But this is beside the point.

You remember the bathrobe
Bandits?

[ gasps ] No.

The married couple
From massachusetts

That stole bathrobes
From the independence inn

Every time they came.

We call them
The bathrobe bandits.

They are here.
Did they bring their moles?

I'm going to remove their
Bathrobes from their room

As a preventative measure.

No, no, michel, come on.

If they steal robes, we just
Charge their credit card.

And if they take a credenza
Or a couch --

Do you think they'll stop
At robes?

Then I'll start jotting down
Mole locations along with you,

But for now,
Let's take a flier on them.

I should never tell you
Anything.
Promise?

I'm going to leave a vaguely
Threatening note in their room.

No, no, no, michel. No.

[ sighs ]

[ telephone rings ]

Hello.

Well, if it isn't
Mr. Incommunicado.

Lorelai.

I figured you'd turned amish
Or something

And couldn't make any calls
Until rumspringa,

But, no, here you are,
Answering the phone.

Uh, yeah.

So, how are you?

Uh, fine.

Is this a bad time?

No, not at all.
Uh, so, what's going on?

Not much. Just working
At the old salt mine.

But earlier, I was talking
To sookie who, by the way,

Got herself knocked up again,
The crazy slut.

So anyway, we were talking
About babies and stuff,

And she asked me about
You and g.G.,

And that's when I realized I
Hadn't talked to you in a while,

So here we are.

Sorry I haven't called.

I've just, you know,
Been really busy.

Okay, well, no worries.

I know you've got your plate
Full taking care of g.G.

Um...Are you sure
This isn't a bad time?

No. No, it's fine.
Uh, fine.

Okay, so, how is g.G.?
Is she still alive?

The last time I was there,
Things were a little dicey.

She's good.
Everything's fine.

Everything's good.

Your help was great,
And I'm absolutely...Fine.

Okay, well, good.

So, I guess I'll talk
To you later.

Sure.
Definitely, okay?

I'll talk to you later.

Take care.
Okay. Bye.

Listen, lor,
I just want you to know

That I only called you before
Because I was desperate.

I mean,
There was no other reason.

I was just panicked,
And I didn't think, you know?

Chris, sure.

I know that I shouldn't have
Bothered you.

I know you have your own life
And your own stuff,

But it was just a one-time
Thing, you know?

So, you don't have to worry
About it.

Chris, you can call me
Anytime you want.

You know that.
Yeah, well --

I'm always here for g.G.,
Whatever you need.

Because we got bonds, baby.
Just try to break 'em.

Thanks, lor.

No problem.

Anyhow, g.G.'s great.

I've got new pictures, too.

I can e-mail them to you,
If you want.

Or bring her around next time
You're in the hood.

Stars hollow's a hood now?

Oh, it's always been a hood.

We just try to keep it
On the down-low.

But seriously,
You should come by.

Well, I'm going to be adjacent
To the hood on saturday

Because I'm taking g.G.
To see her grandparents.

Come by saturday.

Are you sure?
I don't want to --
Come by.

We can have lunch here at the
Inn -- you, me, and g.G.

That way, I can check she's
Still got all her arms and legs.

All right, sure.
Sounds good.

Uh...Saturday it is.

Okay. See you then.

Yes, you will.

Bye.
[ beeps ]

Grandpa, it's fine.

No, it certainly is not fine.

When you're entertaining an
Elegant young lady for dinner,

Then dinner is expected.

But I just sprang this
On you.

You can't be held accountable

For your lack of
Elegant-young-lady food.

Well, I am delighted
With your company,

Though I'm still a little
Confused at the new arrangement.

Well, mom and I realized

That we don't really get to
Spend as much time

With you and grandma
Since the separation,

So we decided to split up.

Well, uh, how would you feel
About, uh...

Ooh, some, uh,
Batteries and nutella?

Oh, rats.
I had that for lunch.

Well, that seems to be
All I have in here.

Robert's shopping skills leave
Something to be desired.

So, grandpa --
Wait!

I think I have
Some canned peaches.

You've really made it
Comfortable out here.

Huh. Pears.

Nice.
Like a vacation spot.

You know, fun and all yours --
Not permanent, but fun for now.

Yes, well, fun for now is
Exactly what I was going for.

So, it's not permanent?

What?
The pool house.

It's not permanent.
You just said "Fun for now."

Did I?
I must have heard it somewhere.

I mean, don't get me wrong.

It's good to shake things up
Every now and then --

You know, put a little paint
On the house,

Move the furniture around
The den, go blond --

But after you've done all that,

It can also be nice to go back
To something that's comfortable,

Something you've depended on
For, let's say, 40 years.

I mean, if something's been
Around that long,

It must be for a reason,
Right?

You're a lovely girl.

I have good genes.

Oh! I think I remember seeing
A frozen pizza in here.

Really?
Aha!

Now...

The downside of this discovery
Is that since robert

Is currently doing
All the shopping,

This pizza
Could have been here

Since lorelai's
10th birthday party.

The upside, however, is that
There is cheese in the crust.

I've always been a "Glass is
Half full" kind of gal myself.

All righty, then.

Here goes nothing.

Stupid little -- I can't find --
Ridiculous.

He should have taken...

What, mom?
Oh, nothing.

I'm just trying to make
A proper drink.

Sorry about the change
Of plans.

Oh, please. I'm as flexible
As the next person.

Rory thought that since dad's
Moved out to the pool house,

We're not getting enough time
With either of you, so --

I guess I could use the ice
In the freezer,

Though it's probably old.

You know what they say -- a
Little notice ensures fresh ice.

I'm sorry.
Who says that?

We'll just have to have
Scotch neat.
Super.

I'd offer you wine, but all the
Wine I have has to breathe.

And that requires notice.

What are you looking at?

Nothing.

It's just -- isn't --
Isn't this weird to you?

What?
Sitting next to each other?

Would you like me to move?

No, it's fine.
It's just...Close.

Will you explain to me again
Why we are doing this?

I have no idea because you
Usually sit over there.

I'm talking about rory being
In the pool house, lorelai.

Rory just thought we should
Split up tonight,

Get in some quality...
Couch time.

It seems very silly.

We had a perfectly good system
Worked out.

I don't know
Why we changed it.
Mmm.

So, mom, do you think you and
Dad are getting back together?

Absolutely not.
Okay, got any peanuts?

Your father has proven to me
Once and for all

He's moved on with his life.

You don't think the moving on
With his life

Would have actually
Included moving?

No.
Okay.

We attended the dorman school
Bazaar last week.

It was a big, formal gathering.
All our friends were there.

And at dinner, he made me reach
For the butter.

What?

It was sitting right there
In front of him,

And yet he didn't offer me
The dish.

He buttered his own roll,

Offered the dish to the man next
To him, and that was it.

And that's why you think
He's moved on?

It was a total disregard
For my needs.

I might as well not have had
A roll in front of me at all.

Well, mom, I'm sorry.

It's very upsetting.

But at some point,
You have to face the facts,

And the facts are
He's moved on,

And therefore,
I should move on also.

Absolutely.
Moveon.Org.

I think it's time
For me to date.

Oh, my god!

I want to go on a date.

With...A man?

No, a weasel.
Of course with a man.

I'm not hearing this.

Why shouldn't I date?
I'm still a viable commodity.

I need a paper towel
And a valium, please.

There are plenty of men
At the club

Who, in the past, have made
Their interests in me known.

I just need to figure out how
To reciprocate their feelings.

You have a lot of experience
With men.

How do you let them know
That you're available?

Well, one of those bench ads
Usually does the trick.

Lorelai, stop it.
I need help here.

It's been years
Since I did this,

And I don't remember
The proper procedure.

Now, take me through this
Step by step.

You see a man, you walk up
To him, and you say...

Hello.

Is that too forward?

No, it's the appropriate way

To indicate you're open
To a social engagement.

Unless, however, you are
Approaching a weasel.

Then I believe
The proper signal

Is just to offer him
Your hindquarters.

Hey.
My night was great.

Oh.

Grandpa made frozen pizza.

Granted, he made it
On a cedar plank,

Which was not what the
Manufacturer intended,

But I got a chance to say
A lot of things to him --

Things about living in the pool
House and about him and grandma,

And though I used
Veiled references,

I know he got my point, and he
Is definitely thinking about it.

How did you do?

Grandma wants to date.
What?!

She wants to date men
Who hang out at the club

And who have expressed interest
In her in the past.

What do you mean,
She wants to date?

You weren't supposed to make her
Want to date.

You were supposed
To make her want

To get back together
With grandpa!

Hey, I told you not to make me
Have dinner alone with her.

What did you say to her?

I said, "Are you getting back
With dad?"

And she said
He wouldn't butter her roll.

I can't believe you.
I'm sorry.
I tried.

You did not try.

I did try.
I just sucked at it.

Look, she probably
Didn't mean it, okay?

She's just mad at dad,
And she was just talking.

Next week we'll switch.

You can have dinner
With my mother,

And I'll marry my dad off
To a nice baroness.

Don't joke.
Don't hate me.

I don't hate you.
I can't hate the pathetic.
Good.

Now, I have a complaint
To register.

Because of your flawed plan,

I was deprived of friday night
With my kid.

I was trying to reunite
Your parents.

Oh, sure.
Now they're my parents.

So anyway, I was thinking,
If you're not busy tomorrow,

How about you come meet me
For lunch at the dragonfly?

What time?
1:00-ish?

See you tomorrow.
Okay.

And stay away from grandma.

Ooh, gee, there's a demand.

I like that it's got rooms.
Very novel for an inn.

Mmm, the guests love it

When they don't have
To sleep communally.

They pay extra for it.

Good squeaky stairs,
Helps sell the old-inn aspect.

Actually,
We had those squeaks installed.

Squeakmasters?
Oh, you've used them?

Oh, several times.

Reception's over there,
Living room's through here.

Hey, you recognize the
Bobblehead dolls on the mantel?

You put those out in public?

Hey, they are a cherished part
Of my childhood.

Plus, all the dirty pieces
Broke off 10 years ago,

So now they're just charming.

I like the jukebox.
I thought you would.

And here's where we feed them.

You feed them, too?

And we let them use the bathroom
Or sit on the furniture.

Classy joint.

So, I'm thinking
You should order

The steak sandwich and the
Garlic bread or -- thanks.

Or fried chicken --
Seriously good fried chicken.

Or, yeah, get the pork chops

'cause normally, eating
Pork chops is very similar

To sucking on
The pottery barn catalog,

But sookie does
This brining thing

In a saltwater
Bourbon solution.

Sounds a little like laundry,

But it's actually
Unbelievably good.

Hmm. What?

Nothing.
Just -- you did it.

I...

You did it.

Yeah, I think I did.

How sappy is it going to sound
If I say that I'm proud of you?

Oh, my god.
So sappy.

Yeah, well, I am.

Thanks, chris.

Yeah.

Okay, so, I think
You were trying to talk me

Into the pork chop.

[ chuckles ]
Yes, I was.

Mom. Hey, I --

Hey, surprise!

Look what mommy dragged in.
Hey, rory.

Hey, dad.

[ chuckles ] You haven't said hi
To your sister yet.

Oh, right.

Hey, g.G.

Remember me?
I'm rory.

I show her your picture
All the time.

Great. Thanks.
Your timing's perfect.

I'm starved.
Have a sit.

Isn't this a nice surprise?

Uh, very nice, yes.

I like to see g.G.

How are you doing there,
Uh, g.G.?

That thumb tasting
Pretty good there?

If you soak it in a saltwater
Bourbon solution overnight,

You'll see
A major improvement.

Uh, lorelai, excuse me.

There's an incident in the front
You may want to check in on.

Okay, rob, thanks.
I'll be right back.

Don't say anything hilarious
While I'm gone.

Rory --
One thing.

I've only asked you
For one thing ever.

This wasn't my idea.
Stop.

Rory, I didn't call.

After you asked me not to,
I didn't.

Your mother called me.
[ scoffs ]

She called me because she hadn't
Heard from me in a while,

And the reason that she hadn't
Heard from me in a while

Is because you asked me to stay
Away, and I did.

Please stop shaking your head.
I don't believe you.

She called me, rory.
She called me.

She asked me to lunch.

You didn't have to accept.

I had absolutely no good reason
To say no.

What was I supposed to do,

Tell her that you didn't want me
To see her anymore?

I didn't want to rat you out.
I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't even know you
Were going to be here.

This is as much a surprise to me
As it is to you.

So, you didn't think
I was going to be here,

So, therefore,
It makes it safe to come

Because maybe I wouldn't find
Out about it.

No, rory, no.
That is not how it went down.

I don't have to explain
Myself to you.

I've done absolutely nothing
Wrong here.
Fine.

Look, I'm sorry you're upset,
But you know what?

Your mother and I have had
A relationship

Long before you ever existed.

We grew up together,
We had a child together,

And no matter what is going on,
That does not change.

Great.
You knew her first.

So that gives you the right
To just waltz in

And screw everything up?

I did not waltz in.
I did not call her.

You cannot make me
The bad guy here.

Hey, if the black hat fits --

I'm your father, kid, okay?

I think that demands a tiny bit
Of respect here.
Fine.

See, this is
Why I love this job.

Michel has been obsessed
With these guests

Who he swears are the notorious
Bathrobe bandits

From the independence inn --
At least the moles match --

So apparently,
They were checking out,

And michel stopped them

And demanded they open
Their suitcases,

And they refused,
So he grabs the guy's suitcase

And starts tearing through
All of his stuff,

Which, of course,
Went over really well.

And when I got there,
The wife was calling the cops,

And the husband was chasing
Michel around with a golf club.

It took a comped bill
And two free bathrobes

In addition to the ones
They had stolen

To get them to drop
The charges.

Plus, michel ripped his pants,

And his underwear
Is pink and shiny.

[ chuckles nervously ]

Did I not hit "Pink and shiny"
Hard enough?

Should it have been "His drawers
Are pink and shiny"?

I'm confused 'cause I was going
To hit the orpheum circuit

With that material.

Wow.
Did I miss something here?

Nope.
Uh, nothing.

Look, lor, I should be going.

What?

No, we didn't get
Our briny pork chops yet.

I just -- I really need to get
To my parents' house,

And g.G.'s going to need
Her nap soon.

She can nap here.

Oh, no, it's okay.

The place looks great, really,

And tell sookie I said thanks
From me, and bye, rory.

Bye.
Chris.

I'll call you later.

Okay, start connecting
Those dots.

Did you call him
And invite him to lunch?
What?

Did you call him
And invite him to lunch?

Yeah, I did.

He didn't call you?
No.

He didn't initiate this?
No.

Rory, what is going on?

Huh? Answer me.

I went to see dad.

When, today?

No, a while ago,
Right after sherry left.

I told him that I didn't want
Him to call you anymore.

Why?

Mom...Come on.

No "Mom, come on."

Why?
Why did you do that?

I didn't want him
To screw anything up

Between you and luke.

Oh, kid.
You are so far off here.

That is not going to happen.

Every time he comes back, he
Ends up messing up your life.

Not true.
It's completely true.

He wants you back,
And then he disappears

Or sherry gets pregnant
Or he loses his job

Or he just takes off --
Whatever.

No good reason necessary.

And it's been like this forever,
And you just let him do it.

You can't help it.
Rory, come on.

You can't just break free
Of him.

What are you talking about?

You're engaged to max,
And then suddenly, you're not.

Christopher had nothing
To do with max.

Who was the person
You were calling

From your bachelorette party?

I was drunk.

I tried to call abe vigoda, too,
If you remember.

You're just always waiting for
Him to get himself together.

No, no, hon.
I'm not always waiting for him.

There have been times when, yes,
It would have been nice

To actually be with the father
Of my kid, but...Not now.

I'm with luke completely.

What did he say
When you told him?

Told who what?
Luke.

What did he say
When you told him

You were having lunch
With dad?

[ exhales sharply ]
Nothing.

He didn't care?

No, he didn't care.

He didn't have to care 'cause
There's nothing to care about.

If you say so.

I appreciate you being concerned
For me, but don't be.

I'm good.

Okay.

Let's order, shall we?

She was so serious.

You know how she gets
Really serious,

Like when she saw
"The way we were,"

And she couldn't believe that
Hubbell was going to leave katie

After she had the baby?

Oh, I remember.
She talked about it for weeks.

"How could he do that?

"She was the only one who cared
About the blacklisting.

She was the only one who thought
He could write a novel."

That's the face
She had on today.

She's just worried about you.

Then when she threw that "What
Did luke say" thing at me.

She's got a good left hook.

I lied to my kid, sookie.

I hate that I lied to her,

But I didn't want her to think
There was any weird reason

Why I didn't tell luke.

Was there any weird reason
That you didn't tell luke?

Sookie, come on.
I don't know.

Maybe you were afraid
That he'd get jealous.

I'd be afraid that jackson
Would get jealous.

I was not afraid
He'd get jealous.

He did beat up a car.

One time.
That we know of.

No, I didn't tell him
Because it was no big deal.

[ sighs ]
I thought it was no big deal.

I should have told him,
Right?

Well --
Yeah, I should have told him.

Now he's going to think
I'm hiding something from him,

And I'm not.

Damn it.
He's going to beat up my car.

[ chuckles ] It's american.
It can take it.

I came home from work, and I
Found these on the doorstep.

What the hell is this supposed
To mean?

Hon, maybe it's just a joke.

No, this is not a joke.
This is a threat.

Yeah, those people at butterick
Patterns play pretty rough.

This is the fish
On the doorstep.

It's the horse head in the bed.

It's the "Either your signature
Or your brains

Are going to be
On the contract."

Jackson, calm down.

I will not calm down!

I told them I would not do any
Ribbon-cutting ceremonies.

Who's "Them"?
Them!

The town.
The lunatics who voted for me!

Okay, could you put
The giant scissors down

And then do the waving around?

We have to move. Pack up.
We're getting out.

Okay.

Or you could just ask them
At the next town meeting

Not to leave giant scissors
On our porch anymore.

Town meeting?
Oh, no.

No way.
There will be no town meeting.

What?
There's going to be lots
Of upset people.

The town meeting is a
200-year-old tradition.

Tradition over!

Only hell waits for me
At town meetings.

Spread the word.

That's sweet.

He's having sympathy
Mood swings.

He loves me.

How are you doing?
You need coffee?
No.

No?
Sure.

Sure?
Yes, coffee good.

Your cup's full.

Oh, well, then, no.
No. Coffee bad.

[ both chuckle ]

Hey, did I tell you
About the bathrobe bandits?

Nope.

Uh, well, very funny story.

Back at the independence inn,
There was this couple,

And they would come in all the
Time and steal the bathrobes.

They made michel crazy,
So today --

Up.
Oh, right.

And today, they showed up.
Who?

The bathrobe bandits -- they
Showed up, and they stayed,

And then they were checking out,
And then get this --

The bellboy comes running over
And tells me to "Come quick.

There's a situation
In the lobby."

So I come running
To the lobby --

You can put your plate down.
Right.

So, I run to the lobby,
And michel is being chased,

And the wife is calling
The cops,

And I comped their room
And gave them free bathrobes

To stop the yelling
And the calling.

This is a very bad story.
It wasn't that bad.

This is the second time I told
It, and both times, crickets.

[ sighs ]

I mean, rory and christopher
Looked at me

Like I was pauly shore.

Christopher?

Rory's dad.
He came for lunch today.

I had lunch with him today,
And rory had lunch --

Rory and christopher and g.G.,
His daughter with sherry.

He brought her 'cause sherry
Moved to france,

So he's a full-time dad now,

And we all had lunch,
All of us together...Today.

And when I told
The "Bathrobe bandit" story,

They all acted like that.

Except g.G., who spit up
'cause she's a baby.

That's what they do.

Okay.

[ sighs ]

Okay.

[ cell phone rings ]

[ clears throat ]

Hello.
Emily:
You get over here right now!

Who is this?

This is you in 20 years!
"Who is this?" I swear!

Mom, calm down.

He'll be here in one hour, and I
Have no idea what to wear.

You've got to come right now.

Who'll be there in one hour --
Dad?

Simon mclane.

Who is simon mclane?

He's my date.
What?!

I have no idea what to put on,
I'm in a blind panic,

And it's all your fault!

How is it my fault?

Because I used your line,
And it worked.

What line?
"Hello."

"Hello" is not my line.

"Hello" is not a line.
"Hello" is hello.

Well, all I know is
I "Helloed" him today,

And now he's taking me
To dinner.

If you don't get over here
Right now,

I'm going to book a d.A.R.
Function at the dragonfly

Every single weekend
From now until I die!

I'll be right there.
[ beeps ]

Mom?

Are you -- oh, god!
Chanel attack.

Look at the red pantsuit.

The...

The red pantsuit.
The red pantsuit.

Right there, right there,
Right there.

I got it, I got it.

Here.

Well?

Nice.
Nice?

It's nice and red
And panty-suity.

It's horrible.
He'll think it's horrible.

No.
It's horrible.

Simon will be here
In 20 minutes,

And I have nothing to wear.

Just tell him you're
Obsessed with "Butterfield 8"
And go like that.

I haven't done this in years.

I have no idea what's
Appropriate to wear.

I have no idea
What's appropriate to say.

I don't know what to talk about,
What to order -- which one?

[ chuckles ]
They look exactly the same.

They are not exactly
The same.

Um, okay.
Then...That one.

Why?
Why what?

Why did you pick that one?

What was the logic behind your
Picking this particular one?

Could it possibly be
Because it was closest?

Well, you know what they say
About location.

You're just picking anything

So that I'll get dressed
And you can leave.

No, mom,
I don't want to leave.

I'm never leaving.
In fact, I'm going with you.

I'll never be ready on time.

[ panting ]
I haven't finished my hair.

I haven't finished my makeup.

Oh, my goodness.
I can't breathe.

I'm actually having trouble
Breathing.

Mom, sit.

I can't sit.
I'll wrinkle my clothes.

You're not dressed yet.

What?
Oh, my god.

I'm losing my mind.
I can't believe I'm doing this.

I'm dating.
I'm single.

You're not single.

That's just a formality.

You know, I remember the night
I got married.

Oh, I was panicked.

I thought, "This is it.

"I'll never have a chance to be
With anyone else.

This is it for life."

If only I'd had
A crystal ball,

I might have been able
To eat my salad.

I remember
It looked delicious.

Mom, is this really
What you want to do?

Yes, it is.

Okay.

[ sighs ]

Wear the black.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

What about the --

The burgundy works fine, too.

Jackson!

Jackson, stop!

Oh, jackson!
Oh, thank god.

I'm frantic!
What's the matter?

My accompanist
Just passed out.
She what?

She was playing
The tarantella,

And then suddenly, she stopped
And fell off the stool.

Well, is she breathing?
I don't know.

Did you --
Did you check her pulse?
No.

What a good idea.
Oh, you're such a smart man.

Well, thank you.
A little faster, honey.

The poor woman is just
Lying there.

Well, maybe we should call
9-1-1.

She's right over there
In the corner.

Why is it so dark in here?

[ indistinct conversations ]

The town meeting is now
In session.

[ sighs ]

You know, we work
Pretty good together.

I guess.

No "Guess."
We do.

We got, like, a rhythm,
A groove thing.

We can survive
In the woods together,

Start a new civilization,
If need be.

I think you'd need
A woman for that.
Oh, right.

Okay, maybe liz could come,

Except we couldn't share her
'cause she's your sister,

And that's a bad way to start
A new civilization.

How about you and liz go start
A new civilization?

I'll stay here in this one.

No, come on.
We could solve this.

Okay, lorelai could come.
And now her, we could share.

Okay, no more
New-civilization talk.

Okay by me.

Hey, t.J.

Yes, luke.

Do you consider yourself
A jealous man?

Why, are you planning
On cutting some pipe

With another guy tomorrow?

Never mind.
I'm sorry.

You were asking me if I consider
Myself a jealous man.

I don't,
And let me tell you why.

Jealousy is bad.

Jealousy is what landed me
In jail...Twice.

I learned quickly that without
An immediate influx of cash,

I could no longer afford
To be a jealous man.

Supply and demand,
My friend.

So, you're saying if liz had
Lunch with...An ex,

It's no big deal, right?

Right.
Right.

I mean, it's an old ex, a long
Time ago, ancient history.

But if she had lunch,

And she didn't tell you about it
At the time,

But eventually
She did tell you,

You should just let it go,
Right?

I mean, you don't want to be
Reading anything into anything.

You just make yourself crazy
And her crazy,

And then everybody's crazy,
Right?

Who the hell is liz having
Lunch with?!

What? No one.

You just said she had lunch
With an ex!

Come on, t.J.!
Was it art?

I swear to god, if it's art,
I'm going to --

I told him never to come
Sniffing around her again!

Hey, t.J.!
Hey, it wasn't art!

I have to tell you,

Every time I hear
Mahler's seventh symphony,

I get ridiculous, giddy.

It's like the beatles
On "The ed sullivan show."

Well, mahler can do that
To you.

Did you see
The cleveland orchestra

When they were here
Last month?

I went every single night.

Oh, I should have done that.

I went the last night
And then to the gala afterward.

Their conductor that night --
Rudolfski.

Did you know that he's deaf
In his left ear?

I did know that.

In fact,
I have a very evil friend

Who likes to sit next to him
At all the gala dinners

And whisper incredibly
Scandalous things

Into his bad ear
All night long.

Well, who knew emily gilmore
Ran with such a bad crowd?

Oh, yes, I'm very dangerous.
Ask my maids.

Have I told you
How happy I am

You said hello to me
At the club?

Twice.
And so am I.

How are we doing here?

We're doing fine.

Would you like
Some more wine?

Why not?

Okay, so, you know what's great
About this country?

Nope.

If you try hard enough,

You can eventually find
A showing of "St. Elmo's fire"

On the big screen.

Yes, that's what gets us
The good seats at the summits.

Come on, admit it.

Rob lowe pretending to play the
Saxophone was incredibly hot.

Oh, I admit it.

And also,
Andrew mccarthy at his best.

Though "Less than zero"
Runs a very close second.

I'm sure it does.

You hated the movie.

[ chuckling ] Yes.

Although I love the fact that it
Got me out of a town meeting,

So all in all,
A very successful evening.

You sure you can't stay?

[ sighs ] I've got really early
Deliveries tomorrow.

I'll make it up to you
This weekend.

I'm going to hold you to that,
Mister.

Oh, by the way...

It's fine about lunch.

What?

You having lunch with
Christopher --

I just want you to know
I'm fine with it.

Oh, okay.
Good.

Yep, all right.
See you tomorrow.

[ truck door opens, closes ]

Breaking your fast?
Oh, my god.
I love food.

You want some?
[ knock on door ]

I'm good.
It's for me.

[ door opens ]

Man: pizza.
$34.95

Need some money?
Oh, I got it.

Do you want to have some?
There's plenty.

No, thanks.
I'm going to marty's.
Okay.

[ door closes ]

Well, where's the cheesy bread?

I ordered the cheesy bread.

Okay, I remember something
About rome.

Rome.

Rome.

Romans lived there.

Uh, audrey hepburn
Took a holiday there.

It's the name
Of a b-52's song.

Different "Roam."

[ sighs ] Okay, that's it.
I can't remember.

College is breaking my spirit.

Every single day telling me
Things I don't know --

It's making me feel stupid.

Oh, okay, I need a break.

I second that.

Oh, man, I'm tired.

Living is exhausting.

This week sucked.
I'm so glad it's over.

Why did it suck?

Just a ton of schoolwork
And ramadan.

Oh, sure.

I broke up with my boyfriend
This week -- that was fun --

In front of a bunch of people
At my grandmother's house.

And then, because apparently

That wasn't enough
"Peyton place" for me,

I have this whole thing going
With my dad,

Who's suddenly back
In my life again.

Yeah, dads can be tough.

I spent so many years just --

I couldn't wait
Till he showed up.

And now he's showing up,
And...I don't know.

I'm just really tired.

You know...

Once I found out my father
Wasn't really my father...

We started getting along
Much better.

Stop it.
[ chuckles ]
I'm serious.

Suddenly the pressure
Was off.

If something happens,

I don't automatically have
To give him a kidney.

I can weigh my options.

It was a real turning point
In our relationship.

So, you broke up
With your boyfriend, huh?

Rory?

[ sighs ]

[ telephone rings,
Answering machine beeps ]

Lorelai: I'm exhausted.

The phone's far.
Make it short and sweet.

[ beeps ]

Christopher: hey, lor, it's me.
Are you there?

Okay, well, I'm just calling
'cause lunch ended bad,

And I'm sure you've talked
To rory by now,

So you know why it ended bad,
And I just wanted to talk.

Give me a call when you get in.
I'll be up late.

Okay, bye.

[ beeps ]

It's been a long time

Since I've had an evening quite
As enjoyable as this one.

I'm choosing to believe you,
Simon,

Partly because it's flattering

And partly because I've had
Three glasses of wine

And a lemon cello.

[ both chuckle ]

So, do you think we could
Possibly do this again sometime?

That would be lovely, simon.

I'll call you this week.

Good night.

[ engine turns over ]

[ crying ]