All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E03 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously on "Gilmore girls"...
Are you okay?

I feel like an idiot.

I was married,
And I threw it all away

For someone who dumped me once
And then just bailed on me.

Your father is moving
Into the pool house.

You're separated
By the pool.

I want to talk about
Having an affair

With professor asher fleming.

You are such a prude.

Lorelai: shaken, not stirred,
Please, jeeves.

His name is robert.

I thought every butler's name
Was jeeves.

He's not a butler.
He's a valet.

So he parks your car?

No, he does not park my car.

He does exactly
What you see him doing.

He attends to my needs.

He's a geisha.

You'll be quieter once
You have a drink, I assume.

So, young lady,

You're starting your second
Year of yale this week.

I move into branford
On monday.

You're going to love branford.
That's where I lived.

I know.

It is the oldest of yale's
Residential colleges.

They have these carillon bells
That are enchanting,

And it has what was called
By robert frost

The most beautiful college
Courtyard in america.

I'll tell you what, grandpa --
I'll get settled in,

And then we can have lunch
There.

You wanted me to remind you

That you were going to bring out
The hungarian cheese, sir.

I'll be right back.

This is crazy.

Well, it depends on your
Definition of "Crazy."

I, for one,

Found the mariah carey
Phone messages to her fans

Just refreshingly
Imaginative.

We're having drinks
In the pool house.

The last time
I was in the pool
House

Was the last time
I was in the pool.

So, grandpa's actually living
Out here?

Looks like.

Do you think he's happy?

I think he's very happy
With his books

And his special friend robert.

Don't be gross.

What? I'm just saying
Two grown men out here alone

With hungarian cheese
And swim trunks...

Oh, jeez.
Don't be so puritanical.

After all,
Heather has two mommies.

All right, we have cheese,
We have drinks.

Do you each have a coaster?

Kierkegaard.

Schopenhauer.

Excellent.

[ knock on door ]

Yes?

Dinner is served
In the main house.

I will tell mr. Gilmore.

Dinner is served
In the main house.

But we haven't finished
Our drinks yet.

But the madam is ready now.

Well, ladies,
It's been a lovely evening.

Until next week...

Hold on, dad.

Thank you, grandpa.

Yeah, thanks
For the cheese, dad.

Bye.

Hmm. Soup in
100-degree weather. Cool.

I have the air-conditioning
On, lorelai.

I like it, grandma.

Oh, my god,
The sucking up.

Stop it.
Thank you.

It's fennel potato puree with a
Touch of chili to give it spice.

I thought we could go exotic
Now that it's just us girls.

If you really want an exotic
Girls' night out, mom,

Let's hit baja.

So, rory, tell me, what's new?

Different room,
Same reaction.

Oh, nothing much.

What was new
20 minutes ago?

Excuse me?

What did you talk about
With your grandfather?

Oh, well --

I mean, just because he gets
You first in the evening

Doesn't mean you get to waste
All the good stories on him.

So, you just tell me
Everything you told him

Exactly as you told him,
Leave nothing out.

Okay.

Well, I'm moving into
Branford college on monday.

Robert frost said
That branford

Has the most beautiful college
Courtyard in america.

Hmm. You don't say.

You knew that?

He told you that?

You've already discussed

Everything there is
To discuss.

You're all talked out.

He gets you first,
Talks you out,

And I get two exhausted,
Empty shells.

What do you think
You're doing?

I needed to get something
Out of my study.

You are supposed to stay
In the pool house.

That is what we agreed on.

I am in the pool house.

Oh, really? Right now?

No, not right now.

I told you I had to get
Something.

You should have made
An appointment.

To go into my own study?

You don't live here
Anymore.

What if I was sitting in
The living room stark-naked?

You've never been in
The living room stark-naked.

You've never been
Stark-naked.

We went skinny-dipping
One night,

And you wore an overcoat.

The water was freezing!

Crazy.

You said it, patsy cline.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need,
If you need *

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need,
If you need *

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Okay, but think about it.
Why do we need the word "Potty"?

Is it really that much harder

For a kid to learn
The word "Bathroom"?

I don't know.

"Timmy, do you have to go
Potty?"

Or "Timmy, do you have to go
To the bathroom?"

See? Interchangeable.
They're not.

How are they not
Interchangeable?

To go potty is an action.

To go to the bathroom is
To go into a specific place.

I hate the word "Potty."

What did you teach me
To say?

"Bathroom."

I'm 2, and I say, "Mommy,
I have to go to the" --

The room where legends die.

What can I get you?

A foster home.

You'll thank me one day.
Hi.

I'm working.

This is the beginning
Of a relationship.

You're supposed to act
Stupid.

I'll do the chicken dance
On my lunch break.

Heading back to school?
Yeah, sophomore year.

Anything you want
On the house.

You won't flirt with me
In front of my daughter.

She's gonna think there's
Something wrong with me.

I got that confirmation letter
A long time ago.

Scrambled eggs
With cheddar cheese

And half bacon,
Half sausage.

I'll have the same,
And put it on her tab.

You get your own tab.

Oh, thank god you don't have
A latin accent,

Or you'd be completely
Irresistible.

Coffee will be ready
In a minute.

Be back in a second.

[ clears throat ]

You gestured?

Those jeans are really
Working for you.

Yeah?

They're working
For me, too.

You're flirting with me.

Something like that.

Finally. Do it some more.

Your shoes work well
With that shirt.

Gee, carson, thanks.

That's all I can do
Right now.

People are watching.

But tonight I will give you
My extremely positive views

On other aspects
Of your being.

Are you free?

Yeah, I'm free.
What are we gonna do?

I've got some thoughts.

No taking me to an art museum
After hours

And then to
An empty hollywood bowl

Where you give me a pair
Of diamond earrings

You bought with your
College money

When all the time you're really
In love with your best friend,

The drummer, who's posing as
Our driver for the evening.

Okay, I'll think
Of something else.

So, what do we say?
Say?

To people, to the town.

Do we tell them
We're dating?

I don't know. Do we?

I guess we could keep it quiet
For a while.

We could if that's
What you want.

No, that's not what I want.

Why don't we just
Play it by ear?

People will know
When they know.

Okay, so, 7:30?

Are you gonna watch me
Walk away?

Yeah.

I'll add a little jaunt
To it for you.

What was that all about?

We were just talking about
Our date for tonight.

A real date? Finally!

What are you gonna wear?

Mmm, glass slippers,
A backwards baseball cap...

And nothing else.

I'm very excited.

Me too.

Have you talked to --
No.

Do you think you're going to
Before you --

Oh, food. Thank god.

Hot plates.

See? He called me
"Hot plates."

He so likes me.

Jeez.

[ dogs barking ]

The mail must be here.

The farthingtons' dogs
Are apoplectic.

Ridiculous choice of animal --

A vicious 3-inch ball
Of hair and a bow --

A ridiculous pink bow
For the vicious killers.

"Oh, watch out!

"Cecil beaton
And the duke of windsor

Are headed straight
For my shoes!"

Thank you.

I'd like some coffee
When you get a chance.

Did we ever hear back
From mr. Gilmore

About the heart association
Luncheon?

I told his valet about it.

And what a help that was.

Well, call his valet back

And tell him I need a meeting
With mr. Gilmore this afternoon.

Yes, mrs. Gilmore.

Thank you.

[ barking continues ]

Oh, shut up!

Careful.
If you stain that,

My grandmother will hunt you
Down and kill you.

I wish that I was kidding.
I'll get the door.

Rory!

Marty, hi!

It's nice to see you!

So, are you living here?

I'm living here.

That's great. So am I.

Oh, sorry.
I have to let these guys in.

So, how was your summer?

I met nicole richie,

And then spent the next
Six weeks showering.

It should be open.

Door's locked.

Oh, really? Sorry.

I thought that paris
Would be here already.

Nice room.

I can't believe
I beat paris here.

Normally, she would want to get
Dibs on the best room first

And set up the furniture
Exactly the way she wants it.

Maybe she's just late.

Paris is never late.

Paris, hey, it's rory.

Rory. Hello.

I'm in our room,

And I was just wondering how
I could have beat you here.

I'll be there later.

Are you okay?
You sound funny.

Asher's dead.

What?

He died two weeks ago
In oxford.

Oh. Paris, I'm sorry.
How?

Heart attack.
It was quick.

Heart attack?

Yes.

Um...It wasn't during,
Um...Was it?

No, rory.

This great man was not brought
Down by my vagina, okay?

Okay. Sorry.

I just -- that's terrible.

He was teaching
A shakespeare class --

"A midsummer night's dream."

He was doing puck, and then
Suddenly he wasn't.

Oh, man.

And the class was so
Into his reading,

They didn't even get it.

They thought he was acting.

It was dick shawn
All over again.

Where are you?

I'm in his flat trying to get
His effects squared away,

And, of course, his family is
Acting like spoiled children.

All they care about is
What they get.

If I have to moderate

One more argument
About the chippendale desk,

I'm going to freak out.

And the lawyer handling
His affairs is a moron,

And don't even get me started
On the funeral.

He wanted to be cremated,

But if you had seen how filthy
That crematorium was --

So I shipped him to cambridge,

Which apparently is known for
Its cremation facilities.

That was a nightmare,

And, of course, his daughter was
Upset with the move,

But where was she
At thanksgiving, huh?

Is there anything
I can do to help?

No. Thanks.

I'm sad.

I know.

Bye.

Bye.

Asher fleming died.

In bed?
No.

Damn. I lost the pool.

Are you sure?

Jerry found her
Birth certificate

Stashed in her bathroom.

I am not surprised.

She knew way too much about
Sushi to be from kentucky.

Hi, ladies.
What's the dirt today?

Jerry cutler's new wife,
Annabel.

Oh, that name alone.

Turns out the 24-year-old
Former miss magnolia blossom

Had a little secret.

What?

Her birthday!

Seems that 24 is actually code
For 36.

No!

Yep. Jerry the moron
Wound up with a tramp

Who's actually a year older than
The wife he dumped her for.

You got to love the karma.

How's jerry taking it?

He's getting his eyeglass
Prescription checked.

Cnn's got nothing
On you gals.

See you later, sugar.

So, you heard that marilyn horne
Is actually a man?

I'm not surprised.

I sent the check off
To the landscaper a week ago.

He claims
He hasn't received it.

He's lying.

Shall I tell him that?

I will stop payment on the check
And issue another one.

Fine.

There's the issue of the
Gregorys' cocktail party.

Even though they did miss
Our christmas party last year,

You are currently involved
In a business deal

With hamilton, so one of us
Should probably attend.

Jancy will definitely want you
To be there.

Fine. I'll go.

No, that's all right.
I should go.

Though I had to go to the
Newmans' zoo auction last week.

Fine. Then I'll go.

No, it's my business.
I'll go.

Unless you would like to go.

Moving on to the subject
Of your car --

You parked the cadillac
In the driveway

When you worked on it
This weekend,

And it leaked oil
All over the place.

It's a tiny stain, emily.

It's a large stain,
And I see it every day

When I walk in and out
Of the door.

Really?
You can see the driveway

With your nose way up
In the air like that?

I apologize.
That was uncalled for.

I think you should restrict
Your cars to their garages.

I will park my cars
Anywhere I like.

You never used to leave your
Cars in the driveway before.

I park there
When I work on them.

Well, work on them
Somewhere else.

What about
The filling station?

It's already filthy there.

Are you seriously suggesting

That I drive a priceless
Antique car 12 blocks away,

Park it next
To a broken-down chevy,

And do my restoring there?

Yes.

So this is the way
It's going to be from now on.

I suppose it is.

A filling station
Will be fine.

Thank you.

I suppose we should discuss
The insurance papers.

I suppose we should.

I always thought I looked
A lot like my uncle jerry,

And, gee, mom seemed
To really like him.

I cannot believe this.

After all this time,
Your mother tells you now.

My dad looked relieved.

I heard him say, "Whew!"

Oh, that is amazing.

So, what did you do
Over the summer?

Well, we so should have
Started with me.

Oh, sorry.

No, seriously, you
Couldn't see me there?

Not everyone's staring
At you, colin.

Hey, I know you.
I'm seeing a uniform.

Maytag repairman.

I've bartended for you --
For your parties.

That's right, you have.
You're a talented man.

He makes a kick-ass margarita.

It's good to see you again.
What's your name?

Marty.
Uh, this is rory.

Hi. Assuming your services
Are still for hire this year,

Your financial situation
Hasn't changed at all?

Nope.

I'll give you a call.
Where are you living now?

Branford.

Oh, excellent -- branford.
All right.

Excellent shirt. I can see
What you see in him.

Don't be an ass, colin.

Me? Never.

I'm a friend to all people,
Large and very, very small.

I kind of hate those guys.

Really? I can't see why.

[ door opens ]

Wow.

I moved some things around.
I also switched our rooms.

Now, mine may seem bigger,
But yours gets less sun,

So you don't have to worry
About melanoma.

Hey.
What?

Sorry.

Thanks.

So, how are you holding up?

I'm fine.

I'm actually relieved
To be anywhere

That people aren't arguing over
The first-edition faulkners.

His granddaughter sarah
Is the worst.

If she thought the casket
Was worth anything,

She would have stuffed it
In her purse.

Paris, you don't have to take
Care of all this.

I know.

It's just I want his memory
To be respected.

It will be.

I still can't believe
He's gone.

He left me his manuscripts.

If sarah finds out,

It's going to be the mountain
Girl trial all over again.

Listen, I want
To have a wake.

A what?

A wake
In asher's honor here.

We'll give others the chance
To pay their respects,

To say goodbye.

People are going
To want this closure.

I just think it's the right
Thing to do.

[ cell phone rings ]

Hello?

Larry, larry, no.

I'm sorry.

Did you take the bar
Or just hang out in one?

Hey.
Oh, hey. I was --

I was just coming to...

Pick you up.
Was I not supposed to?

No, I figured I'd meet you
At the diner.

Oh.

I guess we should have
Discussed.

We usually --

But this is a date, so the guy
Usually does in the truck --

Sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

I could go back inside.

No, this is fine.
You're out now, so...

We should go.

We should go.

You don't have to get the --
Okay.

There you go.

We'll get better at this.

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, wow.
Very prancing pony.

This way, please.

Your table, miss.

Oh, why, thank you, sir.

"Reserved."

I told you
I'd planned the evening.

Weren't we supposed to let
Someone seat us?

Not necessary.

Is this like
A mafia thing?

Excuse me?

Are you gonna have to whack
Someone before the soup course?

No, I've filled my whacking
Quota for the week.

Dirty?
Extremely.

Maisy: lucas!

How you doing, maisy?

You just seat
Yourself now?

We run a nice place
Here, lucas,

Not like that hash joint
Of yours.

And this must be
Your young lady.

Hello, there. I'm maisy.

Hi. I'm lorelai.
I love your place.

It used to be a whorehouse.

I like that
It's got a tarty history.

The best places do.

And the best people.

I like that.

Buddy!
Will you sit down?

You pulled me up.

Buddy, this is lorelai.

Lorelai.
Well, hello, lorelai.

Hello, buddy.

Maisy:
This is very exciting for us

Because lucas never brings
His girls here.

Lori, some sparkling water
And champagne.

And a beer.

You're on a date,
You drink champagne.

You're at a ball game,
You drink a beer.

My goodness,
What a big menu.

Whatever you order,

They'll just bring you
Something different.

Hey, what about the, uh --

Oh, yeah, good.
With garlic and --

No, no, no garlic.

I mean,
Give the boy a chance.

Lorelai, nice to meet you,

And, uh, he's a special one,
This guy.

That's the word
On the street.

They know you.

Actually, I come here
Two, three times a week.

Yeah -- breakfast, dinner,
Whenever I have the time.

Oh, my god,
Luke has a luke's.

Well, I've known maisy
And bud my whole life.

Maisy went to school
With my mother.

And then later on
When my dad died

And I wanted to turn the
Hardware store into a diner,

Buddy really helped me out.

He's a good guy.

He really showed me how to run
A restaurant, how to order --

Everything, basically.

I mean, I couldn't have
Done it without him.

I love this place.

It's a great place --
Very old.

How long have they owned it?

Actually, the story of that
Is on the back of the menu.

Oh, cool.

Oh, look -- "Sniffy's tavern:
A story of love."

Oh, a story of love.

"Maisy fortner and
Bertram 'buddy' linds

"Met at a high-school
Basketball game.

"They fell in love,
Got married.

"Buddy went to work
At a dairy,

"And maisy worked
At the school,

"But they dreamed to someday
Own a restaurant

"So that all of their friends
And family could come

And eat and visit and laugh
With them every single day."

Buddy hated working
At that dairy.

"One day sniffy, their
Beloved dog, ran away.

"Maisy and buddy searched high
And low for him.

"Finally they stumbled past
A dilapidated old tavern

"That had been boarded up
For years.

"They heard a dog howling.

"They forced open the door,
And there was sniffy,

"Stuck underneath
A fallen beam.

"Maisy and buddy pulled
Sniffy free

"And rushed him to the vet,

Where he immediately went
Into emergency surgery."

Did paul thomas anderson
Write this?

Edit, people.

You don't have to
Read the whole thing.

There's not gonna be
A quiz.

"Four hours later...
Sniffy was dead."

Sniffy was dead?

Are you serious?
Where's the happy ending?

People don't read the back
Of the menu

To find out what
Really happened.

They read the back of the menu
To be happy,

To be uplifted.

Not that many people read
The back of the menu.

Did you know about
The whole sniffy thing?

If it makes you feel better,
Sniffy was 150,000 years old.

You're lying.

Thank you.

Hey, here's to you.

I'll drink to that.

Yep, I definitely hate
Champagne.

This is nice.

Good.

Hey, do you remember
The first time we met?

I'm just trying to remember
The first time we met.

It must have been
At luke's, right?

It was at luke's,
It was at lunch,

It was a very busy day,
The place was packed,

And this person --

Ooh, is it me?
Is it me?

This person comes tearing
Into the place

In a caffeine frenzy.

Ooh, it's me.

I was with a customer,
She interrupts me,

Wild-eyed,
Begging for coffee,

So I tell her
To wait her turn.

So she starts
Following me around,

Talking a mile a minute,
Saying god knows what.

So finally I turn to her,

And I tell her she's being
Annoying -- sit down,

Shut up, I'll get to her
When I get to her.

I bet
She took that very well,

'cause she sounds delightful.

She asked me
What my birthday was.

I wouldn't tell her.
She wouldn't stop talking.

I gave in.
I told her my birthday.

Then she opened up
The newspaper

To the horoscope page,

Wrote something down,
Tore it out, handed it to me.

You wrote the menu,
Didn't you?

So I'm looking at this piece
Of paper in my hand,

And under "Scorpio,"
She had written,

"You will meet
An annoying woman today.

Give her coffee
And she'll go away."

I gave her coffee.

But she didn't go away.

She told me to hold on
To that horoscope,

Put it in my wallet,
And carry it around with me --

One day
It would bring me luck.

Well, man, I will say
Anything for a cup of coffee.

Um...I can't believe
You kept this.

You kept this
In your wallet?

You kept this
In your wallet.

Eight years.

Eight years.

Lorelai, this thing we're
Doing here -- me, you --

I just want you to know
I'm in.

I am all in.

Does that, uh --
Are you, uh, scared?

I can't believe you kept
That horoscope.

You're just lucky I never
Clean out my wallet.

You can't take it back now.

You've exposed yourself.
You've been pining for me.

[ chuckles ]
I have not been pining.

I'm your ava gardner.

God help me.

[ sighs ]

Okay.

Let's get something
Out of the way right now.

What?

What are you doing?

Tell me what cd's to get so I
Don't have to hear about it.

Seriously?

And skip any '80s groups

Where the guys dressed up
Like pirates.

I draw the line at pirates.

This has been a really great
First date.

It only took us eight years
To get here.

Okay.
So, u2, right?

Yeah, bono is a must, and
Blondie and, um, sparks,

Especially the new one,
Plus bowie.

Okay, I know he dressed up
Like a pirate.

Space man.

Space man I can deal with.

[ alarm buzzing ]

Mmm.

Sorry. I forgot to turn
The alarm off.

Bad alarm.
Bad, bad alarm.

What time is it?

Early.

Hate early.
Must kill early.

Okay.
I gotta get up.

Why?

Work. Inn.
Buy shoes.

Oh, my god, I can't move.
I need coffee.

I don't have coffee
Up here.

It's all downstairs.

Downstairs.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Where are you going?

Well, I think people
Are gonna know.

What? What are you
Talking about?

Why are you wearing
My shirt?

I put it on
To go get coffee.

Downstairs?

You don't keep it upstairs.

The diner's open.
You're kidding!

You walked into the diner
Like that?

I didn't think the diner
Could open without you.

I had caesar open.

Well, he did,
With a floor show.

Okay, so,
Maybe nobody noticed.

Look at me!

Okay, yes.

Well, but you wear crazy
Outfits all the time.

They usually include pants.

Okay, so they know.
So what?

I mean, they're gonna find out
Eventually, right?

So, we'll hear about it
For a few days.

Few weeks.

Six months of hearing about it,
But then it'll die down.

And everything will get back
To normal,

So, okay, well, they know.

It's out.

It's out.

Where's your coffee?

Mm-hmm.

I'm getting your coffee.

I need more candles.

Check my trunk.

I think my mom
Put some in there.

That's a lot of books
You got there.

The very fact that the bookstore
Had any in stock

Shows the sad nature
Of american reading habits.

Do you need some help
With those?

I got this, but here --
You can put these up.

You made flyers.

Anyone who wants to pay
Tribute to this great man

Deserves the opportunity.

I'm on it.

Okay, quinn, last building.

Please say
It looks familiar.

Apparently it doesn't look
Familiar.

No, hold on.
Hold on.

Yes. Here.
This is where she lives.

Excuse me.
Can I help you?

Hey.

Don't put your number.
Don't put your number!

I'm not putting my number,
I'm putting your number.

That's my room.

Okay, put my number.

Are you sure
This is your room?

I'm sure.

I could have sworn
It was her room.

What's her name?
Maybe I know her.

Uh, it was short.

I can understand
Your disappointment,

Losing a potential soul mate
Like that, but that is my room.

I'm sorry
About the mix-up.

My friend here means no harm.

He just has to learn
Guinness and blondes don't mix.

We sincerely apologize,

And we will now leave you to
Finish putting up your poster

Of...This really old guy.

Professor asher fleming.

What, they were out
Of orlando bloom?

Professor fleming
Died last week.

Were you and fleming --
No!

Sorry. Just you're putting
A poster of him up.

You can see where
I get the impression

He's a bit more
Than a teacher.

Well, he was more
Than a teacher.

He was a great writer

And an inspiration in many
Other things

That you couldn't
Possibly understand.

You don't like me.

You don't know me,
But you don't like me.

I know you.

We met yesterday.

With marty.

Marty?

Marty -- my friend marty.
He bartended for you.

Yes, marty.
I'm sorry.

It slipped my mind.

I met you with marty.
Nice to see you again...

Rory!

Nice to see you again,
Rory.

You're looking well.
Angry works for you.

I'm not angry,
I'm just irritated.

By me?

Because I forgot for a moment
Who you were?

No, because you speak to people
As if they're below you.

Ah, your friend marty?

You talked to him
Like he was dirt,

And that's why I'm looking
At you like this.

I said hello and he made
A kick-ass margarita.

It's not what you said,
It's how you said it.

How'd I say it?

Like judi dench.

Just because somebody
Doesn't have money

Or a fancy family doesn't
Mean they're inferior to you.

I agree.

Just because somebody
Is a bartender,

That doesn't mean you can talk
To them like a servant.

Well...

What?!

I paid him. He served.
That's what a servant does.

Are you serious?

For the sake of argument.

He was doing a job.

A job he took willingly.

Some people have to work.

And I bet if you ask him,

He'll tell you he made
Excellent tips that night.

Not the point.

Just because you pay somebody,

It doesn't mean that
You can speak to them

As if they're beneath you.

Actually, the fact that
This is a free country

Means I can speak to anyone
In any manner which I choose.

However, the rules
Of a civilized society

May frown upon a certain obvious
Show of snobbery,

So if that's your argument --
I don't have an argument.

I can give you a moment
To formulate one.

I'm busy!

You concede.

I don't like it
When people hurt my friends.

And you react when goaded.

I am not goaded.
I am so far from goaded.

Get out your compass,
And I will show you

How far
From goaded I am.

I think we got a serious debater
In our midst.

Loggins, I found it.

Tell marty I said hi,

And I promise to remember you
Instantly next time.

Now, tell me
That wasn't fun.

[ sighs ]
Master and commander.

The movie?

No, that's what I want you
To call me from now on.

I just wanted to smell
Like him again.

[ laughter ]

You didn't!
You didn't.

Morning, ladies.

Oh, morning, sugar.

Samson and delilah sapperstein
Got back together.

I'm not surprised.
Those two belong together.

Patty: that means
They're bound to have

One of their fabulous
Fights very soon,

Which we need because things
Are slow around here.

Babette: I hear that.

They're lowering
The free-parking limit

At the drugstore.

You only get 20 minutes free
With validation instead of 30.

Well, times,
They are a-changin'.

Well, so, I'm gonna go.
I got to get to work.

Bye, honey.

Give rory a kiss for us.

I will.

Okay.

Did you notice

That one side of rosella's
Butt implant deflated?

Nobody knows.
I swear.

Luke: how do you know?

Well, I walked by "Hello!
Magazine" this morning.

They mentioned nothing.

Well, maybe they're
Just trying to be,

I don't know,
Respectful about it.

Babette? Miss patty?

Well, maybe they're trying
Not to embarrass you.

Babette? Miss patty?

Well, maybe -- I'm out.

Has anyone mentioned it
To you?

No, but, seriously, who's
Gonna mention it to me?

Babette? Miss patty?

No, it's been very quiet.

They have to know.

Maybe they don't care.

That's a bummer.
Why?

I don't know.

You at least want them
To have some interest.

It's out. We don't
Have to worry about it.

Are we still on
For tonight?

Liz taylor and richard burton
Couldn't go outside

Without people noticing.

Well, I'll get drunk,
You gain 500 pounds,

And we'll give it
Another go.

Pick me up at 7:00?

Okay, bye.

* you ain't left the ground

* wait till you're locked
In my embrace *

* wait till I draw you near...

Madonna louise!

Can I get you some dessert,
Mrs. Gilmore?

No, thank you.

Very good, mrs. Gilmore.

And don't run the dishwasher.
It's not full.

I won't, mrs. Gilmore.

I smelled something funny
Earlier in the kitchen.

I sprayed for ants
This afternoon.

Oh, madonna louise,

I told you never spray that
Poison all over the place.

You simply have to kill
The scout ants

So they don't go back

And tell the rest of them
Where the food is.

You kill the scouts,

Or you use the chocolate we
Bought in chinatown last month.

Okay, mrs. Gilmore.

Madonna louise?

Yes, mrs. Gilmore?

It was a lovely omelet.

Thank you, mrs. Gilmore.

[ vehicle door closes,
Engine turns over ]

How did I get rooked
Into this?

Uh, I'm irresistible?

Yeah. Well, have I mentioned
I hate town meetings?

No. I thought you said
You hate clown bleedings,

Which I totally agree with.

Oh, no.
Is tonight raffle night?

I can't deal
With raffle night.

No, it's not raffle night.

Look, I promise we won't stay
For the whole thing.

We'll just run in
And get the headlines

So I have something
To tell rory,

And then we're off
To the movie.

Do not get used to me going
To these town things.

Just because you like them

Does not mean that
I will ever like them

Or tolerate them
Or go to them.

Hmm. Other than tonight?

Yes, other than tonight.

And next thursday.

I did not say I would go
Next thursday.

[ cell phone rings ]

Hello?

Emily: lorelai?
Oh, thank god I found you.

Hi, mom.

The most bizarre thing
Has happened.

At 7:30 at night, I had just
Finished my dinner.

I was about to go upstairs
And read,

And I suddenly heard a car.

Uh-huh.

I ran to the window just in time
To see your father driving away.

He was driving away
At 7:30 at night.

Uh-huh.

Lorelai!

Was he driving backwards
Or with his feet?

Where was your father going
At 7:30 at night?

Well, maybe he had
A business meeting.

At 7:30 at night?

What, has he suddenly
Become a bootlegger?

Mom, I'm sorry.
I'm about to go into a thing.

Can we talk about this
Later?

Oh, absolutely.
Far be it for me to intrude

On whatever vague event
You're going to.

Great! Thanks, mom. Bye.
Your fault.

How was that my fault?

Because you preoccupied me

With all your yammering
About the meeting,

So I wasn't thinking,

And I didn't check to see who
Was calling before I answered.

Boy, it's nice to finally
Have someone to blame.

[ giggles ]

And then looked,
Backed up --

You backed up.

You didn't look.

You got in, you turned
On your car,

And then you whipped out
Of that space

Like you were lizzie grubman.

Do we have timing or what?

I did not.

I distinctly remember

Looking in my mirror
And seeing nothing.

Gypsy: except me.

I didn't see you.

Thank you for coming.

Please feel free
To take a book.

Hey.

Hi.

Interesting crowd.

Yeah, most of the people have
No idea they're at a wake.

They think it's some
Weird theme party.

I've spent the entire evening
Trying to get people

To stop referring to asher
As "The old dead dude."

Does paris know?

Paris, thank goodness,
Is paris.

Hi, marty.
Thank you for coming.

Please help yourself
To a book.

The wake seems
To be going well.

It is.

I'm very pleased
With the turnout.

I mean, I knew he was beloved,
But this is overwhelming.

You know, it's funny,

But asher died right at the
Height of my passion for him.

I kind of wonder what would have
Happened if he had lived.

Would I have stayed in love
With him forever?

I don't know.

He died before
I could find out.

Now I'll always be
In love with him.

He's my mike todd.

We're going to dinner
After the movie.

I know.

All those who think andrew was
In the wrong, arms raised.

All those who think that gypsy
Was at fault, arms raised.

The majority rules.

Gypsy is at fault
For the fender bender

Outside the
Stars hollow garden center

And shall be responsible
For all said damages.

Ha!

We have got to get a courthouse
In this town!

Let's move on to
The next order of business.

A very serious matter has been
Brought to our attention,

And I would like to bring
To the floor for discussion

The possible negative
Ramifications

Of the inn owner
And diner owner dating.

[ gasps ]
That's us.

They're talking about us.

Now, as you all know,

The relationship we have feared
For some time has emerged,

And we need
To carefully consider

Whether or not
We can support this.

Oh, my god.

We're sitting right here!

Yes, we see you, luke,
And, as a member of the town,

You are welcome
To voice your opinion.

Voice my --

I open the floor up
For discussion.

All right. I'll start.

Luke's diner is a staple
In this town.

Most of us eat there
On a regular basis.

The dragonfly inn, though
Newer than luke's diner,

Has also become very important
In our community.

The comingling of the owners
Of these two establishments

Can only set the stage
For disaster.

Luke: what the hell
Is he talking about?

Think of the consequences.

What will happen when
The relationship goes sour,

As, let's face it, most of
Lorelai's relationships do?

Hey!

We'll have to choose.

Suddenly you'll either be a luke
Or a lorelai,

Or, if you're kirk

And you can't make a decision,
You'll be neither.

He's probably right.

That's bad for the economy,
Bad for the town.

Are they gonna
Make us break up?

I think you're overreacting,
Taylor.

People, do I have to remind you

About fay wellington
And art brush, huh?

Uh, yeah.

Fay owned a flower shop,
And art owned a candy store,

And they fell madly in love
About 10 years ago --

Big romance.

And for a while, it all worked
Very synergistically.

Flowers and candy seemed
Like a perfect match...

Until art met margie.

The fudge queen.

Ooh, that was bad.

The whole town split right down
The middle.

Suddenly you could buy flowers
Or you could buy candy.

Valentine's day
Was a nightmare.

Par for the course for me.

Eventually, the hostility
Forced art to move.

Fay never married.
She stopped making candy.

It was very sad.

And those storefronts
Were empty for a year.

No one wanted to be there.

God, this sounds terrible.
Maybe they have a point.

No, they don't have
A point.

Well, what
If something happens?

This is crazy.

I don't believe

That the breakup of
Fay wellington and art brush

Affected the economy
Of this town one bit.

Well, lucky for you,
I brought charts.

You have charts concerning
The romance of two people

Who used to live here
10 years ago?

[ cell phone rings ]

We think fay still lives
In the caves

Above the clancys' mill.

We can't prove it,
But every so often,

We hear "Delta dawn"
Playing over and over.

Hello?

Emily: your father
Came home at 8:30.

He went inside the pool house
For five minutes,

And he got back in his car,
And he drove away again.

Mom, this is really not
A good --

Traipsing all over the place
At all hours of the night.

Uh-huh.
Where are you?

You sound very far away.

Park road.

Why?

I'm not gonna be the one that
Sits at home alone in the dark

Like an italian widow.

If he can go out, then I can go
Out, so I went out.

Well, good for you.

I figured I'd have dinner.
I already had dinner.

But if richard's having
Two dinners,

Then I can have two dinners,

So I went to a place I used to
Eat at when I was in college.

And do you know what I found?

It's a lube-and-tune with an
X-rated t-shirt store next door.

Mom, this is silly.
Why don't you just go home?

I'm not gonna be
The first one back.

Well, how long are you
Gonna drive around?

Until I'm sure your father
Came home.

Let him worry about
Where I was all night.

I can't talk right now.

Well, I'm not done.

I'll call you later.

I could be dead later.

Call one of your friends.

No one knows about the
Separation except you and rory.

I'm in the middle of something
Very important.

Well, this is important, too.
Meet me for a coffee.

Mom, I can't,
And rory just moved in,

And she's at school
Getting settled,

So if you really can't talk
To one of your friends,

I'm sorry, but we're gonna
Have to finish this later.

Fine. [ beep ]

[ crowd murmuring ]

Babette: I think that map's
A little off.

Luke would definitely take
The northwest block

'cause it's near
The fishing hole.

Okay, that's it.
I've heard enough.

This is my relationship --

Mine, not yours, not yours,
Not yours, yours, but not yours.

Mine and hers but not yours!

There's not gonna be
Any more debating

About whether or not it's a good
Idea if we're in a relationship,

'cause we're in a relationship.

Show them the horoscope.

In the event of a breakup --

There's not going to be
A breakup.

Well, isn't he
The optimistic fellow?

Fine. In case of a breakup,
I'll move.

I'll close up luke's diner,
I'll go far, far away,

And that way you won't have
To choose, okay?

Every section in town
Can be pink.

Can we have your word
On that?

You can have my word
And a couple of middle fingers.

Get that down.
We have his word.

Leave out the part
About the fingers.

All right, people,
It seems that the issue

Of gilmore and danes vs.
Stars hollow has been resolved.

See you all next week

When everyone gets fingerprinted
For the government.

Meeting adjourned.

Wow!

Yeah.

You still in?

You bet I am.

Oh, my god.

What? What's the matter?

[ sighs ]

[ rings ]

Rory: hello?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

For what?

Rory.

Grandma.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

What is going on here?

I have to hang up now.

Have I mentioned I'm sorry?

Bye.

Well, this is a surprise.

I simply had to
Get out of the house,

So I thought I'd come by
And say hello.

Why are there pictures
Of asher fleming everywhere?

This is a wake for professor
Fleming. He died.

You'd think your grandfather

Could have mentioned that
To me, but no.

I bet he'll make me go

To that insufferable man's
Funeral, though.

He was cremated.

Oh, thank god.

Paris: emily!

It means so much
To me that you came.

Well, yes.

Asher was very devoted
To his students.

[ crying ]

Oh, now,
There's no need to cry.

Yale is full
Of excellent teachers.

Root beer?

Yeah. Thanks, marty,
For everything.

You've been such a huge help
Tonight.

For you, anything.

Hey, rory?

Hmm?

Do you -- I mean, how come
You don't have a-a --

Do you have a boyfriend?

What?

I'm just curious.

You don't mention anyone.

There's no one here
You seem to be with,

So I was just wondering
What the deal was.

I don't know.

You -- okay.

So, what exactly does that
Mean -- "I don't know"?

I don't know.

Okay.

I mean, 'cause that's usually
The kind of thing you know.

I know.

So you don't know. Okay.

Um, will you excuse me
For a minute, marty?

Sure.

And then he just takes off out
Of nowhere at 7:30 at night.

Thank you, thomas.
I'll need a napkin.