All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E18 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

How's dean?
God, he was gorgeous.

Actually,
He's married.

It's not going to last --
He was too in love with you.

You want to become
My partner.

You want to pay me

And bring a whole slew of
High-paying clients with you.

You were the best my father's
Company ever had.

You've been groomed to take
That company over,

And now you're telling me
You want to leave?

I really, really want to
Piss off my dad.

So, how's married life
Treating you?

Real good.

Dad works for the county.

He...

I think he's, um...

Actually, he manages
A department.

Jason.

Oh, hello.
I didn't know you'd be here.

You look well.
Thank you.

Who was that?
My father.

Your father?

I'm talking about what we're
Going to say to my parents.

We like each other.

I'd like to say nothing.

You have your ex-boyfriend's
Number in your cellphone?

We're still friends.

Oops, I think I just
Dialed his number.

Talk.

Dean, hi.

It's rory.

I'm sorry to call you like this,
But we're on spring break.

Dean: so, I got
Your message.

Oh, yeah?

All right, davey,
Here comes the airplane.

What did they say to kids
To get them to open their mouths

Before there were planes?
"Here comes the choo-choo."

And before
There were trains?
"Here comes the spoon."

That's so on the nose.

One more bite, honey.
Come on, now.

Here comes the airplane again.
It's flying through the air.

It's beginning its descent.
It's commencing its approach.

It's lowering the landing gear.

It's signaled
The ground crew.

They're flipping their
Flashlight thingies.

Would you shove that
In the kid's mouth?

Look -- it's bilbo baloneypuss
Just in from the shire.

Just hurry up and order.
What's the rush?

I don't like babies.

Hey!

Huh. I suddenly felt
Violently protective.

It's gone.

It's the noise they make.
This baby has not made a peep.

He will and at the worst
Possible moment.

Like when you're defusing
A bomb or something?

[ gasps ]
That would be awkward.

You've got one minute to order,
Then six minutes to eat.

Come on down to luke's,

Where the motto is "Eat it,
Then beat it."

One minute.

Hello, all.

Taylor.

Top o' the morning to you.

Top o' the --

Yeah, on top there,
You got the --

It's definitely --
It's a --

Beautiful top. It's --

Top o' the morning
Right back at you.

You were just on a cruise,
Weren't you?

Yes, and it was heaven.
The caribbean -- ever been?

I'm sorry.
What did you say?

Ever been to the caribbean?

God, I'm sorry.
I missed it again.

Never mind.

Uh, luke, I have an issue
I need to discuss with you.

Good -- something to write
About in my diary.

There is a distinct odor
Outside our establishments,

And I have to assume
It's coming from the diner.

There's no odor coming
From my diner.

It wasn't there
When I left for my trip.

Where else could it be
Emanating from?
I don't know.

Have you checked underneath
That thing on your head?

I'm combing it differently.

The comb didn't loosen
The glue?

You know,
I smelled something, too,

But it was across the square.

Me, too, over by the hair
Stand -- newsstand.

I smelled it by gypsy's --
Horrible.

So the whole town smells?
How can that be possible?

It is an old town --
200 years.

So, it's decaying from age?

Or we've got skunks again.

I think you're right,
Taylor!

10 years ago we got infested.

They crawled under houses,
Met their fate,

And the town smelled
For weeks.

That must be it, taylor!

Good work.
Good work!
Thank you, kirk.

I'm going to have to mobilize
The community.

We've got the flower show
Coming up.

We have to deal
With this quickly.

Let me go door to door

And make sure every townsman
Looks under his house, taylor.

I'll even knock
Some heads together --

Get medieval on their ass.

That's a nice offer, kirk,

But the block captains
Will see it gets done.

I better start
Making my calls.

Your minute's up.
Order.
We're not ready.

Then it's coming out
Of your eating time.

Hey, get violently protective
So luke will back off.

I don't know if I can summon it
Like that.
Try.

Argh-eee! Luke.

In five minutes,
You're all gone.

[ sighs ]
I let you down.

The "Argh" was good, and then
You kind of petered out.

I need to practice more.
You'll get it there.

Read, read.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Try it against
That wall there.

We've already tried it there.

It's no problem.

No problem for you, but this is
Giving me cuticle damage.

Do you know how long cuticle
Damage takes to heal?

Thank god, no.

No, it doesn't work there
Either.

What an enormous shock.

Anywhere else you want
To try it --

Maybe at the lincoln memorial
On his giant lap?

How 'bout over there?
Yeah, there.

I'm sending you
My manicure bill.

Yes, mine, too.
Don't be snotty.

Seems a little out of place
No matter where you put it.

Yeah, unfortunately.

If you'd order it from me,
I would have guaranteed it.

You didn't order it from me.

We ordered it before we hired
You. We should have waited.

It's always best to do it
Through your contractor.

I don't think it fits here.

Oh, my god,
I'm getting a blister.

Hey, how about
By the front desk?
We could give it a shot.

That's it!
I'm jumping off the amistad.

This is heavy, my back hurts,
I'm not moving it again.

No problem.

I can do it.

It's not me.

It really is heavy.

You mean here?
They already tried it there.

I think it's a lost cause.

We've got the dennis kucinich
Of bookcases.

I wish you'd gone
Through me.

I could just give it to rory.
She could use it at yale.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, michel.

Hi, lindsay.

Are you okay?
You're standing kind of funny.

It's nothing funny.

It is how you stand
In these pants.

Keys, please.

You got it.

Annette and frankie
Really found each other.

They float together.
They just sort of float.

It's off-the-charts adorable.

Yep. The deans of the world
Always get the lindsays.

The pretty little things just
Like the bookcase lifters.

That's a category -- jocks,
Nerds, bookcase lifters?

I was born
With this bad back.

It was heretical.

Congenital.
Ugh!

Well, I hate that bookcase.
I wish you had never ordered it.

I wish you had never
Thought of it.

I can't even be in the same
Room with it,

Mocking me
For how alone I am.

It's mocking you?

It's three pieces of wood.

Well, I hate it --
Hate it, hate it, hate it!

If you had ordered it from me,

He wouldn't be experiencing
This psychological trauma.

I mean, they were extremely
Common until just recently --

Historically recently,

Not recently like "Metrosexual
Is a word now" recently,

But recently.

Are we still talking
About anvils?

Yes, where did
All the anvils go?

You're talking about those big,
Heavy, metal things?

That blacksmiths hammered
Horseshoes and stuff on.

Everyone had them.

They were featured prominently
In every movie western,

So where did they all go?

I don't know
That they were that common.

Wile e. Coyote used them.
That's how common they were.

Who?
The cartoon.

He was always trying to drop an
Anvil on the road runner's head

Or shoot it at him
Out of a giant slingshot

Or fire it at him
Out of a cannon.

Inevitably, the cannon tilted
Up, shot it in the air,

It fell down, and made an
Anvil-shaped impression

On wile e. Coyote's head.

This is a cartoon?

No, no, this just happened to me
The other day.

I was walking down the street,
And this giant anvil --

Yes, mother, it's a cartoon.

I know she sounds nuts,
But it's a very common cartoon.

But that doesn't prove that
Anvils were so common.

It proves that anvils were so
Ubiquitous at one point --

Is that the word, ubiquitous?

It depends on
Where you're going.

That they knew that children
Would know what they were

And delight in them.

That's how common they were --
Children watching cartoons.

That was the word.

I've forgotten your point.

Where are all the anvils?

I mean, is there some sort of
Secret anvil storage facility

The government
Is keeping from us?

Or they fell into disuse

With the advent of other
Technologies,

And so they melted them down
And they're gone.

But they're not supposed
To melt.

They were made to withstand
The red-hot hammer

Of the town blacksmith.

This is easily the most
Pointless conversation

We've ever had.

I don't hear anyone chiming in
With rational theories.

Please change the subject,
I beg of you, anyone.

Well, the girls don't know the
Big news about jason and me.

You're pregnant?

We're acquiring
Another company.

I was close.

Already?
You just started yours.

The insurance business
Is changing so rapidly,

You have to adapt to keep up.

It's a dog-eat-dog world,
Grandpa.

Don't get the wrong idea.
It's not a big company.

It's smaller than ours,
But very powerful.

Wait, the company is smaller
Than yours?

Your company is two guys --
You and jason.

This company is a one-man
Operation -- bob sutton.

So, you're acquiring bob?

We're acquiring his company,
And his company is him.

Did he have to give himself
Two weeks' notice?
No.

Is there gonna be a sad little
Going-away party

Where he brings in his own cake
And blows out his candles?

We are all celebrating
With a dinner tomorrow --

Us and the wives.
Ugh.

You're not big on the bob?

Bob's fine.
We've known him for years.

It's that dolt he's married
To -- classic trophy wife.

She is quite young.
How young?

Her car looks
Just like barbie's.

Regardless, I hope you will be
Kind to her at dinner.

I'll have to bring my
English-to-dumbbell dictionary.

Try and focus on bob.
Bob's as sharp as they come.

He's very brilliant,
I'll give you that.

Bob's brilliant, huh?
He's a rhodes scholar.

Ask him where the anvils went.

Or not.

And 47 cents comes to $5.

Thank you, mrs. Casini.

Thank you.

I don't know what it is
About you, taylor,

But you look so healthy,
So invigorated, so youthful.

Thank you, mrs. Casini.
Must be the vacation.

Or the fake hair.

Come again, mrs. Casini.

Tracy, change out
The scoop water.

It's an unsightly color.

And tell franklin
When he gets here --

Tell him that he keeps
Forgetting to punch out --

Kirk, something wrong?

Well, I-I --

Don't touch the candy.

I'm sorry.

I didn't want to touch
The candy.

Kirk, I just had a spat
With my sourball distributor,

And I'm not in the mood.

Now, what's the trouble?

It's eggs.

What? What's eggs?

In the square -- the smell.

It's not skunks, it's eggs
From the easter egg hunt.

But easter was over a week ago.

And I did it just like
You told me.

I personally hid 300 eggs
Around the town square,

And the kids had a blast
Hunting them down,

Except the banyan boys.

They're bad seeds.

Going to hell --
Both of them.

But the kids only found
241 of them.

Are you telling me that

There are 59 rotting eggs
Hidden in the square?

I thought they would naturally
Decompose and just disappear.

Eggs smell when they decompose.

I just found that out.

I find your hair
Very believable.

Jason: nice shot.

Beautiful!

You're being extremely
Charitable.

Oh, richard, if I get that far
On four shots,

It would be a miracle on the
Order of loaves and fishes.

Yeah, and I'm in the sand.

I don't think any of us are
Gonna tiger shake in his spikes.

I'd go with a driver
Or 3-wood.

Whatever is gonna make me
Look less like dorf.

You know, my wife's very excited
About the merger, richard --

Very excited.

Oh, do give trish our best.

Emily and I were just talking
About her -- terrific girl.

[ both laugh ]

At least he held
Onto the club this time.

Now, it's hard to know

Whether he should yell "Fore!"
Or "Duck!"

Why can't businessmen do deals
Over air hockey?

I am great at air hockey.

Oh, looky here.

Hmm? Your father?

One of the many hazards
On this golf course.

I thought that was you.

Groundskeeper must be unhappy
That you're here today.

Aha. Divots -- I do produce
A lot of divots. Good one.

Richard, nice to see you.

Same here, floyd.

And, bob, didn't know
You were a duffer.

More like spoiling
A good walk.

You want to play through,
Floyd?

Actually, I was heading back
To the clubhouse,

And you caught my eye.

How's emily?

She's fine.

Good health?

Very good. And carol?

Fine, fine.

You know, she really misses
Emily -- misses her company.

And vice versa, I'm sure.

You couldn't drag those two
Apart at a function.

They were like
Conjoined twins.

I know she'd love
To see emily again.

I'm sure the feeling
Is mutual.

Well, then, perhaps we should
Get those two together.

Well, we could arrange that.

I can tell carol
To give her a call.
Any time.

You know, if it's a meal,

We men could tag along
If they'd let us.

That's a big "If,"
But that could happen.

Maybe jason could tag along,
Too.

That would be a nice little
Gathering.

I'm out of town next week,
But this friday's free.

Friday would be perfect.

I hope it happens.
I hope so, too.

Glad to run into you.
Same here, floyd.

Bob, jason.

He wants to have dinner.

Was it carol's idea
Or floyd's?
It's hard to say.

This is very good, richard.

It was public.
The whole club saw.

But did he say that carol
Had wanted it

Or that he had wanted it?

What did you hear?
I was out of earshot.

Rapprochement with floyd stiles.
Never in my wildest dreams.

And it came from him.
Who saw this coming?

Did he bring up carol before or
After he brought up the dinner?

I didn't have a tape recorder,
Emily.

I'll offer to host it here.
I've got the perfect menu.

Friday, right?
So it's lorelai and rory, too.

Well, friday was
His suggestion.

I wasn't in a position
To counter.

No, of course not.
That's fine.

And he saw us with bob, too.

And still he made the offer.
Acquiring bob was a great idea.

There'll be seven of us.

That's an unbalanced table,
But that's okay.

Oh, this is wonderful!

Floyd wants peace.

So it seems.

[ chuckles ]

[ rhythmic knocking on door ]

Dean.

Surprise.

What are you doing here?

Um, I come bearing gifts.

A bookcase?

Yeah, the one from the inn.

Do you see what's going on
Out there?

Almost there,
Almost there.

[ breathing heavily ]

Thanks for the help.

Should I give him a hand?

If he doesn't work
For his inebriation,

He won't appreciate it.

There's a big party
On friday night.

It must be for that.

Yeah? You going?

I have two papers due,

So I'll be in stars hollow
Avoiding the fray.

I'll just have
A brewski there.

[ laughs ]

So, uh,
Which way's your room?

Thataway.

[ grunts ]

So, where did this come from?

Well, your mom had it made
For the dragonfly,

But it didn't fit, so she
Thought you could use it here.

She didn't tell you?
Nope.

Small.
Yes.

There's no place
To put this.

Yes again.

What was your mom thinking?

That I have books, and that's
Probably the extent of it.

Right. So, I guess
I'll take it back.

I'm sorry you had
To make the trip.
No, it's okay.

It's kind of nice seeing
Where you live.

So, are you on your way
Back to school?

Oh, no, I'm just off
From work.

I'm actually gonna take
A little break from that.

From what, school?

Yeah, just for a semester
Or two, you know.

A semester or two?

But I thought
It was going so well.
It was.

It's just that lindsay and I
Really need some extra money,

And this job with tom
Has been perfect.

Extra money for what?

What do you mean?
For life, things.

What kind of things?

Well, uh, lindsay's got her
Heart set on having a townhouse

By the end of the year,

And we're kind of cramped
Where we are,

So I think it's a good idea.

You do?
Yeah.

I don't.
What?

I think it's a horrible idea.

It's just temporary.

Maybe.
Rory.

A lot of people who drop out
Say that it's just temporary.

It usually doesn't work out
That way.

I'm gonna go back.
I hope so.

Have some faith, will you?

I just think
This is a mistake.

Rory, I'm married, remember?
I have responsibilities.

You'll lose your momentum.
I need the money.

Can't the townhouse wait?
Jeez, lighten up.

I just think this is
A really bad idea.

Graduating from college doesn't
Guarantee you a job anymore.

It's not like it was
With our parents.

So you're not going back?
You're twisting my words.

And you're just gonna work
In construction?

What, are you gonna get
All elitist on me now?

We're friends, so I get to tell
You what I think.
Fine.

You should go to school.

Great. Now you've told me
Three times. I get it.

You don't need
To tell me again, okay?

[ sighs ]

You want me to take
This now?

Yes...No.

Whatever you want.

I'll take it now.

Fine.

Attention, please!
Everybody, if I may!

Let's have some attention,
People!

We all know why we're here.

There are 59 rotting easter eggs
Hidden throughout the square,

And we've got to find them.

I know what you're thinking --
What about the map,

The careful, detailed map of
Where the eggs are hidden

Made each year to avoid
Catastrophes such as this?

Well, a map was not made
This year, good townsfolk.

One was not made.

Now, this work is going to be
Exhausting and, yes, disgusting,

But as my way of thanking you,

Help yourself to lunch
At doose's market,

Where everything in our
Prepared-foods section

Will be discounted 5%,
20% for our day-old sushi.

Now, with the flower show due
In three days,

We have a clock on this, people,

But when I look out at this fine
Group of volunteers,

My heart races with pride.

I see america,

And I am proud.

Now, are there any questions?

What's with the toupee?

It's not a toupee.

And I'm blond and leggy.

Are there any legitimate
Questions from anyone?

Yes, joe?

I'm jewish.

Well, that's swell.

Is it okay for a jew
To hunt easter eggs?

That's between you
And your rabbi.

Jackson, a question?

Toupee guy says what?
What?

[ laughter ]

What are you laughing about?

Jackson said,
"Toupee guy says what?"

Inspiring your understandable
Response of "What?"

Thus soliciting their
Childish laughter.

It's infantile
And a total clam.

Please report
Every found egg to me,

And I will keep
The running total.

Now, good luck,
And let the hunt begin.

We won't let you down,
Taylor,

Because not only are we gonna
Find 20 eggs within the hour,

But we're going on
To find 25...

And then 30...

And then 35...

And then 40...

And then 45 and then 50

Until we find all 59
And take back the square!

Yeeeeee-ahhhhh!

Hurt your throat?

[ hoarsely ] Very badly.

Found one!

58 to go.

[ hoarsely ]
Good job, joe.

Okay, dinner is ready
When the cow moos.

Mmm. Okay.

How about here?

Not there.

Why not?
It's dark.

Yeah, that's the point.
It's a dark corner.

The plant livens it up.

Plants need light.
They do?

It's the "Photo" part
Of photosynthesize.

Oh, don't some plants
Just synthesize?

They really need
The photo part.

None of the plants
I ever had needed light.

Any of them live?
No.

Whoa, insight!

Poor thing doesn't stand
A chance.

Hey, so, you ready for friday?

Ohh, dinner with my parents?

You haven't seen them
In a while.

Well, I've seen mom
Occasionally,

But floyd and I really haven't
Spoken since the great schism,

Not that harry chapin isn't
Dying to rise from the grave

And write a song about us.

I'm a little nervous.

Yeah, I get that.

And he's gonna call me
"Digger."

Oh, he loves calling me
"Digger."

And he has hated every girl
I have ever dated.

Um, really?

Yeah, mom, too.

It's some sort of reverse
Oedipal thing.

And not just the ones I pick.

They set me up with a girl
They loved,

And as soon as they found out
I liked her,

They turned on her viciously.

She moved to alaska.

Why are you telling me this?
Just a heads up.

All it's gonna do is make me
Nervous, and it has.

They don't know I'm going out
With you, so it doesn't matter.

They'll find out eventually.

Well, impress them now
When they don't know.

Preempt their gathering
Hatred.

Unless they end up hating me
Retroactively.

Oh, I have seen that, too.

Tony robbins
Has nothing on you.
Sorry.

Ooh, how about here?

On the chair?

Yeah, it's not a very
Comfortable chair.

How about I just get
A new chair?
That'll work.

You know, in a warped way,

You being nervous has made me
Less nervous.

So there's a bright side.

Not that that was my intent.
Good to know.

Dinner.

[ sighs ]

There was a death-to-disco
Movement in the late '70s --

Very intense.
We had donna summer on the run.

"We?"
You weren't born yet.

I'm a kindred spirit.
Gotcha.

So where's the passion now, huh?
Where is it?

There's no disco anymore.
They wiped it out.

But there are other things
That need wiping out --

Phony rappers, most techno,
Alt country, christian rock,

Anything fusion,
Classic alternative radio,

Where all they do is play
The same nirvana song

Over and over -- the rubens,
The clays, the clarksons.

It's gonna be a bloodbath.
What are they doing?

You smell that smell?
Yeah.

Taylor left kirk in charge
Of the easter egg hunt,

And they didn't exactly find
Them all.

They lose the egg map?

They didn't make an egg map.

They didn't make an egg map?

I was just as shocked.

They always make an egg map.

Let's have the hourly report,
Joe.

Well, you know --
We found three more, taylor.

I said, "Joe."

We found three more,
Taylor.

That's not good!

That is not good!

More than half
Are still missing,

And every minute we have people
Deserting the cause.

What's this?

There's a couple
In the tree.

You hid them in a tree?

Oh, right.

They're completely out of reach
Of the children.

The others I hid for the delight
Of the children.

These I hid for me.

[ sighs ] Get them down.
This is not good.

We are losing men,
And we are losing --

Hair.Hair.

Time.

Jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx!
Jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx!

Oh, I miss the caribbean.

So, what are we looking for?

Well, we still have no fridge,
No stove, and no microwave,

So nothing perishable, nothing
That requires boiling water,

And nothing that needs
To be cooked.

I'm guessing the day-old sushi
Is out.

It was never in.

Beef jerky?
Definitely.

And protein bars.

Oh, I'm sorry.
When did I win the lottery?

Protein bars are a luxury?

They are when you live with guys
That eat 10 of everything

When one's the correct portion.

Got to keep
That proportion cost low.

Pretzels.
Perfect.

And, of course,
The perennial pop-tart.

Load up on those.

Did I tell you
That dean stopped by?

Where, yale?

He was delivering a bookcase
For my mom.

Hey, you want a bookcase?
It's free.

I'll take it.
So, how's old deanie boy doing?

He dropped out of college.
What? You're kidding!

Says he needs money.
How about marshmallows?

Sure, and throw in a park avenue
Mansion while you're at it.

Another luxury -- got it.

So, he's just working
Full-time?

It's such a waste.
Dean is so smart.

He can do so much more.

Hey, melba toast.

Cheap, tasteless, and filling.
I'll grab a bunch.

And I'll get one bag
Of marshmallows

So the boys can have
A treat afterwards.

I'm mad at dean about this,
But I'm more mad at lindsay.

She's so selfish.
Women.

She's his wife.

She should be encouraging
Him to go to school

And think about his future,

But, no, she needs a townhouse
And a rolls-royce.

They're buying a rolls-royce?
No, but they are
The townhouse,

And he didn't even seem
That excited about it.

It's just lindsay.

I mean,
Why doesn't she get a job.

What does she do all day?

So, you think --
You think she heard?

Kirk?
That's me.

You want something?
Why?

Well, you usually get
Something here.

You're in the diner.

Oh, yes.

Kirk?
That's me.

You want some coffee?
Yes, please.

Your eyes are spinning in
Different directions.

I've been up for 1 1/2 days
Straight.

I haven't done that

Since the "Petticoat junction"
Marathon in '97.

Right.
Caught a little of that myself.

Luke, turkey sandwich on rye,
Please --

Lettuce, tomato, cucumber.

Coming right up.

We're gonna do it, taylor!

We're gonna find
Those last 12 eggs!

Cole slaw, too.

Every last one of them!

And a pickle -- make it two.

Joe and I can divide
The square in two

And sweep it clean
Till the job's done.

I'm going to pay now and wait
Outside if you don't mind.

I guess not.

I'll take the east side,
He'll take the west.

That way we can --
That's enough, kirk!

Hey, watch it.

You're not satisfied

That I'm suffering for what
You've done to this town.

You have to continue to
Personally torture me?

We'll find the 12!

We won' find the 12!

You have brought disaster
Down upon us!

Are you happy?!
No.

I left you in charge of things

Because I thought I could trust
You, but you let me down.

Now I have to cancel
The flower show.
No.

I'm making the call tomorrow.
The flower show is history.

But we're only missing 12!

We have to find every last egg.

Well, then, joe and I --

Joe just left for cabala class.
I have no men left.

You have me left.

I have no men left.

I've lost my appetite.

Hi, guys.
Wow, love the heaters.

It's not too cold, is it?

We thought we'd start the
Evening out here.

It's nice.
No, no.

I'm not seeing the olives
That floyd likes.

They're in the back
On the right.

Is this cart
In the best place?

Move it back?
Move it back.

They keep moving everything
Back and forth --

The cart, the heater, me.

I used to be over there.

They're perfectionists.

It's like watching
An ant farm.

Oh, I should go grab that gin
That floyd likes.

I've got some in the freezer.

Maybe it was better
In the other spot.

Patio looks great, mom,
Really.
I guess.

Where's that awful light
Coming from?

I think it's the moon.

You're not thinking of having
The moon moved, are you, mom?

I suppose it will move
On its own at some point.

You look nice.
Thank you.

Why do you look so nice?

Because I knew this was an
Important night for you guys.

They're here.

Richard, they're here!

You do look especially
Nice tonight.
What is with everyone?

It's not like I'm always
In dirty sweats

Fresh from slopping the pigs.

You don't have that just-came-
From-work look about you.

A girl can't dress up
A little?

Your mom's
A little nervous.
Ta-ta-ta-da.

Oh, right.
You're meeting the parents.

I actually had not put
That together before.

That's why you showered.

That's not why I showered.

Richard: here we are!

Oh, your patio is beautiful,
Emily!

Thank you, carol.

Hi, honey.
Hi, mom.

Floyd, carol,
Our daughter, lorelai,

Our granddaughter, rory.

Hello.
Hi.

We've met before,
But a long time ago.

We remember you well.

You didn't dress up
For our benefit, I hope.

No, no.
This is nothing weird.

How 'bout some beverages,
Everybody?

Extra dry martini still
Your drink, floyd?

Absolutely.
Same here, dad.

And bourbon with a splash of
Branch water, right, carol?

Thank you, richard.

Oh, here, emily.

You've redone the patio.
It's gorgeous!

Don't you think?

Oh, and those trees --
I love them.

What are they?
They're african.
Come see.

I'm trying to remember
When we saw you last.

Probably at camp.

Right, the day we came
To pick up jason.

There was a talent show.

You sang a duet
With a pimply fellow.

"Crater face" cutler.

He's a litigator now.
Very bitter man.

Well, the pimply fellow stank,

But you were wonderful --
Very charming.

It was from "Grease."

How crater face
Got his pimples?

No, my song --
"Summer lovin'."

I had to sit on his lap.
It was very uncomfortable.

Crater face
Had very bony knees.

You did a dance with somebody,
If I remember correctly.

Oh, yes, he cha-cha'd.

Well, thank you for bringing
That up.

And thank you for never sending
Me to camp.

You were great.

I liked when you and your
Partner knocked heads.

"Clubfoot" cindy -- she married
"Crater face" cutler.

Beautiful children.
Huh.

[ humming ]

Uh, rory, we left
Your soda inside.

Oh, I'll go get it.

I actually had a barbershop
Quartet at yale.

I was by far the weakest link.

That reminds me.

I have a story I've been dying
To tell you

Ever since I heard it, richard,
About herb benson.

Oh, what's the rogue
Up to now?

Later. I don't want to bore
The others.

I can't wait.

Help me take the drinks
Down to the ladies?

Absolutely.
Excuse us.

[ sighs ]

Ladies?

[ sighs ]

Wow, look at that.

Groucho, chico, harpo, and zeppo
Together again.

Excuse me, grandma.
Yes, sweetie?

Elsa said to say that dinner's
In 15 minutes.

Did she ask you to do some
Vacuuming, too?

Um...No.

She sends my granddaughter out
To do her job.

How many maids has emily
Been through, richard?

We used to keep
A running count.

No, I'm afraid western
Mathematical principles

Cannot accommodate
Such a task.

My father is in a particularly
Good mood tonight.

Very.

He's only said
Two passive-aggressive things

Since he got here,
Which is astounding for him.

By the way, may I be
The 14th person this evening

To say how great you look?

It's the shower.
I gotta try that more often.

[ laughter ]

Oh, this is our grandson's
First step.

We were so lucky to have
The camera ready.

Oh, that's darling.

Oh, ho, ho.
He's gonna be big.

He's gonna start
On the defensive line

For the bulldogs in 2021.

Floyd has it all worked out.

I believe that's you very
Lovingly holding your nephew,

Who looks very happy
In your arms.

I just told him I'd opened a
No-load mutual fund for him.

Tracks the s&p.

You sentimental fool.

I have some terrific pictures of
Rory. I should go get them.

But, grandma, I'm right here.

I know,
But you're so big now.

Slouch down in your chair
For grandma, honey.

If it's okay, I actually thought
I might leave soon.

She's got a big paper due next
Week and lots of reading.

Oh, yes, rory. We've made you
Stay too long already.

Oh, yes, go, go.

Thank you for looking like you
Weren't too bored all evening.

Oh, no, I wasn't, really.
It was fun.

Bye, grandma.

You have to go, too?

Oh, no, we came separately.
Good.

Bye, grandpa.
Goodbye, rory.

Lovely girl.

Oh, she's a doll.

Well, I think this is
The perfect time

For those who are so inclined
To enjoy a cigar.

All right,
Let's fire 'em up!

I meant the men,
But would you like a cigar?

No, you guys go.
Circle the fire.

Pound your chests.
We'll be waiting.

Floyd, jason.
Let's do it.

Well, let's let elsa clean up
And maybe keep her job.

The living room all right?

We can bring the coffee?

I was going to pour brandy.

Even better.
Ooh, let's go.

Oh, this evening has been
So wonderful, emily --

The two of us together again.

Yes, it has.

All those horrible things that
Happened with the business --

Now, let's not let business
Come between us again.

All that ugliness is in the past
Now, so we don't have to worry.

Yes.

Smooth.
'63?

'65.

You can't get a '63
To save your life.

Still does the trick, though.

Oh, goodport was caught up
In that ridiculous cigar boom

A few years ago, remember?

Yes, yes.

Amateurs -- babes in diapers

Talking big
In those cigar clubs,

Smoking churchills
Down to the ring.

Tobacco farmers harvested
Their crop green

Just to keep up
With the demand.

If I remember correctly,

You found a way to rectify
The problem.

I couldn't get hennessy's

To put my favorite cigars
Aside for me --

This after 20 years of giving
Them my business.

Big mistake.

Love these kind of stories.

So I bypassed the bastards.
I found their supplier.

I swooped in and bought all
Of my favorites in bulk --

Hundreds of boxes, cash,
On the barrels,

So now hennessy's couldn't
Get them.

Hundreds of boxes?

Oh, I couldn't have smoked them
In three lifetimes,

So I kindly offered to sell
Hennessy's my excess supply.

They leapt at it
Like dogs for a bone.

And I made enough to pay
For the boxes that I kept.

You're creative, richard.
It's one of your many strengths.

I'd say it's his
Main strength.

Who ever said an insurance man
Can't be creative?

It's one of the fallacies
About what we do.

People think it's dry,
Wooden,

A bunch of automatons
Shuffling papers.

On the contrary --
It breeds daily.

It's life and death,
What we do.

It's a new drama every day --
Almost shakespearean.

"Richard iii," "Macbeth."

What day doesn't necessitate
Courage, tenacity,

And sometimes,
Like your cigar story, richard,

A little vengeance?

And that's
All before lunch.

Our work is wonderful.

I've always felt that way --

Protective of what I do,
Protective of what I have.

I think my cigar is out.

That's why I'm suing you.

Dad.
You're joking.

I'm not joking.

I'm suing your company.

My lawyers will be contacting
You monday morning.

Floyd, you're not serious.

Richard, you didn't think
I'd let digger walk away

With some of my oldest clients
And not respond, did you?

Are you that naive?
Dad, this is crazy.

You signed a noncompete
Clause with me, digger.

And I didn't break
That clause.

He didn't, floyd.

I studied jason's contract,

And only certain clients
Were off limits,

And those remained off limits.

Alexander barnes
Was off limits.

That was a social lunch,
And you can't prove otherwise.

You have no case.
Maybe, maybe not.

But by the time the courts
Figure out the situation,

I'll have buried you
In legal fees.

I know your financial situation,
Richard.

You can't survive a lengthy
Legal process.

So, this is just revenge,
Floyd?

Are we stooping that low?

You just described
How strongly you felt

About a bunch of cigars.

How did you think I was going
To feel about my business?

How did you know I had lunch
With alex, dad?

You have a private investigator
Tailing me?

This whole business
Is so distasteful,

But what was I to do?

I did what I had to do --
What richard gilmore would do.

I think I should go now.

Don't -- dad, don't leave.
Call this off!

Sorry I didn't get to that
Anecdote, richard.

Maybe some other time.

Dad!

Rory did come out.

She was a beautiful debutante --
The hit of the night.

She did so well, we had her go
Back in and come out again.

Richard: floyd, wait.

Jason: dad, I will block
The door if I have to.

Floyd: I wouldn't suggest
You do that, son.

What is going on?
I should get my purse.

Carol, no.

Excuse us, emily.
This is rude, but we have to go.

Mom, stay.
It's too late, jason.

What's going on?
Richard?

I apologize
For how this ended.

We are not unprepared
For a fight.

We are capitalized.

Only because you put
Your pension up as collateral.

How did you --
It's a small community,
Our community.

Endangering your pension,
Richard -- it's reckless.

Which p.I. Did you have on me?
Paluso, I assume?

He's the best.
He gets everything.

It's how I found out your
Daughter is dating my son.

That's not true.

Sorry we spoiled
Your secret, son.

We'll see ourselves out.

Come on, carol.
Dad, wait!

Richard, emily,
This isn't gonna happen, period.

It will resolve quickly
And in our favor.

Excuse me.
Dad!

Okay, now, forgetting the
Insufferable way

That you presented this subject,

Do you have any idea
How far off you are?

How you could fathom --

We need to talk.

You brought your own car,
Didn't you?

Yes.

You don't need to stay.
You can go.

I'm blocked in.

Oh.

Richard, you have every
Right to be angry.

Oh, you're damn right I do.

To be humiliated like this
In my own house?!

It was unconscionable.

Why didn't you see
This coming?

You know him, richard.
He doesn't show his hand.

He sweet-talked us on the golf
Course, got invited to dinner.

The man is a sociopath!

Tell me if you've done
Anything -- anything illegal.

Nothing, richard,
I swear to you -- nothing.

The lunch with alex?
Social -- we're friends.

Why should I believe you?

Because I'm not stupid enough
To do anything illegal

Or think that I could get
Anything illegal by you.

I do push boundaries, richard,
But I never cross them -- ever.

How long have you been seeing
My daughter?

Five months.

For five months you've been
Lying to me.

Yes, but it was a white lie.
It was a timing issue.

It would have complicated our
Relationship, yours and mine,

And we didn't know if it would
Last, so we took a path.

It was the wrong path, and I am
Sorry about that, too.

You've got a lot
To be sorry about.
I do.

My damned father.

I should have seen
This coming.

As well as I know him,
I keep underestimating him.

[ sighs ] We both should have
Seen this coming.

I can make this go away.

How?
It's a bluff.

You know my father.

He hates giving money
To lawyers,

And this action is gonna
Cost him big.

That is true.

So we will countersue.
It's a wrongful lawsuit.

We will make him pay.
Possibly.

And I will do anything to win
Back your trust, richard.

You have been so good to me.
Please...Let me try.

Okay.

You've got my trust.

Go get him.

Thank you, richard.

Thank you.

And also, I'm gonna work
On my golf game --

Get it up to snuff
So I stop embarrassing you.

[ chuckling ]
Yeah, do that.

Thank you, richard.

[ door closes ]

[ sighs ]

[ sighs ] God.

I have a gigantic bottle
Of vodka at my place --

The largest bottle of vodka
Known to man.

But what will you drink?
Gin.

Let's go.

Eggs.

Gotta get the eggs.

Eggs.

Aaah!
Aaah!

Aaah!

Flower show's tomorrow.

Flower show's tomorrow, and I
Can't find the last 12 eggs.

[ crying ]
I let taylor down.

He's like a father to me.

I think he is my father.
He's not your father.

No, my father's my father,
Which means taylor's my tailor.

I wonder how much he charges
To hem pants.

He's not your tailor.
I let him down!

I let taylor down.

I let the whole town down.

He won't like me anymore.

What's this?

It's the last 12 eggs.

The last --
You picked some screwy places
To hide them.

Don't do that again.

The last 12?

Tell taylor you found them.
Be the hero.

Thank you.

Thank you!

I love you, luke danes!

I love you!

I'm stupid.
I love you!

I love luke danes!

Love, love!

Hey. Come on.
What? Where?

I want to talk to you.
Come on.

I've been trying
To call your cell.

I didn't have it on.

I'm sorry, okay?
I'm really sorry.

About what?

I was a jerk at your dorm.
I yelled.

You didn't yell.

I got upset,
And I shouldn't have.

No, dean, I'm the jerk.

Hounding you about school like
That -- it all came out wrong.

It's your life.
It's your decision.

No, I shouldn't have sniped
Like that.

I deserved it.
You were concerned.

I want the best for you,
And I think school is it.

I still think that,
But it's not up to me.

I just don't want you
To settle.

I know you don't.

Sometimes it seems like you're
The only one who doesn't.

[ sighs ]

I think lindsay
May have overheard me

Saying stuff at doose's.

Yeah.

I feel even worse about that.
I've got such a big mouth.

No, it's okay.

She must have been
Really upset.
Kind of.

I didn't mean to hurt
Her feelings.

She'll be okay.

She knows we talk, right --
That we're friends?

She does now.

She doesn't want me talking
To you anymore.

Oh.

Well, I guess that's
Understandable.

I don't want that to happen.

I don't want that
To happen either.

Then it's not gonna happen.

Should you get home?

Yeah.

Me too.

Is it true?

Did you put your pension up
As collateral?

Are we in trouble?

It's going to work out,
Emily.

It'll be okay.

You and jason talked?

It's going to be okay.

Uh, three words.

Four words.
Two words.

Okay, you suck at charades.

We're playing charades?

Yeah, weren't we?

You're drunk.
You're drunk.

Don't drunk and drive.

I would not thunk it.

That's a fun game to play.
What?

The "Changing words
Into funny words" game.

[ sighs ]

Oh, I'm sleepy.

Hey, you know, your father
Was terrific until the end.

Yeah, the end
Was kind of bad.

It's like falling 600 feet
To your death.

It's fun the first 599 feet,

But it's just the last foot --
Total sucko.

Yeah, it's a bummer --
That last foot.

But, you know, there is a bright
Side to this evening.

The moon?

No, but the moon
Was very bright.

At least our relationship is out
In the open -- no more hiding.

Yeah, no more hiding.
I'll drink to that.

And I got richard calm,

And I'll work my magic,
Which is what I do.

Dad's head looked like it was
Gonna go full-out piñata.

It'll be okay.

He and I are going golfing
In a couple days.

That always puts him
In a good mood.
Yeah.

Your plant is dead.

How did it die so quickly?

It may have been
Self-inflicted.

Poor thing.

Are you okay, though?

Am I being enough supportive?

Reversed those last two words.

No, I'm fine.

In a weird way, my father trying
To destroy me is the first time

I've ever gotten any real
Respect out of him.

Hmm. Cool. Clink.

[ glasses clink ]

Nice shot!

Beautiful!

Your charity is limitless.

You're just warming up.
You've always been a closer.

Too true.

So, we're done
With the broad strokes?

I believe so.
I'll drop the lawsuit.

We'll split
The clients evenly.

You'll come back
To the firm --

Have your own company
Under our umbrella.

And jason is out.

Jason's out.

You'll be returning a hero,
Richard.

Hmm. Music to my ears.

Beautiful day today.

Beautiful.

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