All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E17 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Rory:
This is humiliating.

Lorelai: oh, no, we passed
Humiliating two minutes ago.

Luke's gonna be completely
Out of doughnuts

By the time
We get there.

I don't why he won't just buy
Six extra sprinkled ones,

So we'd never have to have
The conversation

Which we're going to have
If we ever get there.

I got school in two hours.
I'm never gonna make it.

Kirk,
How are you doing?

You sure?

You seem to be having a little
Trouble forming words there.

[ strained ]
No...Fine...Me.

You don't have to take us
All the way to luke's.

Yes, kirk,
Listen to her.

I offered you
The first ride

In kirk's new stars hollow
Pedi-cab,

And that is exactly
What you're gonna get.

Okay.

Time just whizzes by when
You're riding in a pedi-cab.

Gypsy: hey, guys.

Hey, gypsy.
Hey, gypsy.

Gypsy just
Outstrolled us.

How we doing
Back there?

We're doing fine,
Kirk.

I figure this baby's
Gonna be a real money...

A real money --
Money what, kirk?

Kirk,
Can you breathe?
[ gasping ]

Hit the handlebars three times
If you can breathe

And two if you can't.

He hit once.
What does once mean?

That he couldn't
Make it to twice?

Kirk, stop,
Please.

Just for a second.

Then we'll be on our way...
Like the wind.

Okay,
You know what, kirk?

This has been
Really fun,

But I think we'll just
Hoof it the rest of the way.

But the ride
Wasn't over yet.

But we don't want
To hog the cab.

But we'll
Tell our friends.

What was wrong
With the ride?

It's great for tourists
Who are new to the town

And want to make sure
They don't miss a thing.

I wasn't going that slow.

No, you just maybe need
A little more training

Before tourist season
Kicks in.

Take a spinning class
Or buy some legs.

Sorry, kirk.

You will be sorry.

You'll be sorry
You turned down the chance

To ride
In stars hollow's...

Now he's gonna
Hate us forever.

He's just gonna hate us
Till something shiny comes by.

Well, well, well.

I guess it wasn't me
That was slowing things down.

I guess it was my big,
Fat cargo.
Hey!

Freshman 15!
Kirk!

Can't wait
To get my doughnuts!

Stay away from my doughnut,
Kirk!

It's my doughnut!

Freak!
Slow down!

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Might as well stick your head
In a sugar bowl.

If you can find one
Big enough.

You won't be able to eat
Like that forever, you know?

What are you getting?
All bran.

Asher turned me on to it.
He's a romantic.

He wants me to live a long time
And be healthy.

Okay. Just a joke.

No reflection
On your man-friend.

So after breakfast, I'm going to
Pick up the sign for our table,

And then I'll meet you
In the courtyard.

Antioxidants.

Yeah, I'll meet you
In the courtyard.

I'm actually really excited
About this.

It's our first social protest
Of significance in college.

I know,
It's so exciting.

We actually get to do
Something important,

Make a difference,
Have a say in the world.

Wouldn't it be amazing
If we could just get

One burmese political
Prisoner released

Because of our petition?

Let's get 'em all out.
Even the guilty ones.

Seriously? 'cause that'd
Be great, really great.

So I'll pick you up
At 7:00 saturday morning.

Janet: okay, glenn.
Thank you.

No problem, glenn.

This is
A turning point.

You know
How you have them,

When the angry voices
In your head

Have to shut up
For just a minute?

Why is he so happy?

I couldn't get away earlier
For spring break.

My friends are leaving
Without me.

I need a ride, glenn has a van,
And there you go.

You're going to ride
To florida with a guy

Who's bummed that he got turned
Down by that german cannibal?

That was just a rumor
And, yes, I'm desperate.

Glenn's not that bad.

There's extra room in the van,
In case you guys need a ride.

I don't think we're gonna do
The whole spring break thing.

Ever since I broke up
With moon doggie,

Soakin' up the rays
Hasn't been the same.

It's going to be
Really fun.

I'm not really
A spring break kind of gal,

But thank you
For the offer.

Okay, but if you
Change your mind...

Gary gilmore's got room
In the car -- got it.

Oh, janet, if you have a chance,
You should stop by

And sign our petition for
Political prisoners in burma.

Actually, I have to run out
And get a new bathing suit

Before my class
This afternoon.

Think of all the tortured souls
Festering in burma

While you're at
The size-2 rack.

I hate that she's thin.

[ sighs ] Hi, luke.

I saw you come in.
I was gonna get to you, okay?

If you don't like the service,
You can go somewhere else.

Who could not
Like the service?

I'm busy.
You ready to order?

Just coffee for now.
Is everything okay?

You're not gonna eat?

I just came in for coffee
And to show you something.

We got the sample stationery
And postcards for the inn.

What?
You know, the stationery
And the postcards

That you leave
In the guests' room

So that they can
Write a letter home saying,

"Having a great time --
Wish you were here."

Which, of course,
They don't,

Because you were the thing they
Were trying to get away from.

Nobody uses that stuff.
Oh, sure they do.

I have never once
Stayed in a hotel

And used the stationery
Or written a postcard.

Are you gonna order?

I did order,
And what is with you?

Nothin' -- I'm fine.
The postcards are fine.

I don't know why you're
Showing them to me anyhow.

Because you are
An investor in the inn.

I want to keep you
Apprised of the goings-on.

I am not an investor.
I loaned you money.

That is what
Investors do.

An investor
Goes to meetings.
We're having a meeting.

They're involved
In the business decisions.

Hello...Stationery.
Decide -- yes, no.

[ sighs ]
I'll get your coffee.

Um...Do you want
To talk about it?

What?

Whatever it is that's put you
In this charming mood.

[ clears throat ]

I am not
Wearing my socks.

What?

I am not
Wearing my socks.

So, what are those,
Someone else's?

Yes.
What?

I am wearing
Someone else's socks.

I'm sorry, I need more.

I spent the night
At nicole's place.

Also known as
"Your place."

Got up a little late,
Grabbed a pair of socks,

And it wasn't until
I was halfway to work

That I realized they were
Someone else's socks.

And you're sure
About this?

Hey, if there's one thing in
This life I am sure about,

It's my socks.

I buy the same brand
In bulk,

And I've been doing this
For as long as I can remember.

My socks are all white
With a red stripe.

These are white
With a gold stripe

And some sort of
Fruity padding in the toe.

Maybe they're jess' socks.

They are not jess' socks.

Well, maybe when you went
To the laundromat,

Someone accidently left
A pair of socks in the dryer,

And then your --
I don't go
To a laundromat.

Uh, maybe
They're nicole's socks.

You know,
Her gym socks or...

You're not
Wearing your socks.

I am not
Wearing my socks.

Rory: show your support
For the burmese prisoners.

Sign up now --
Take a stand.

This bowl of rice is
All a burmese prisoner
Gets to eat in a day.

One bowl -- that's it.

No butter or soy sauce...

Enjoy your "Maxim."
You couldn't read that in burma!

I'm freezing.
Me too.

[ sighs ] Look at all these
Hypocrites passing by.

Everyone claims to be
So politically aware,

But not one person can
Stop by for two seconds

To sign
A stupid petition.

People suck.

You all suck!
Paris, the rice!

Great, we have one prop,
And it's blowing away.

You knocked it over.
You put it
Right in front of me.

How was I supposed to know
You were gonna jump out of
Your seat like a maniac?

You room with me.
You should have known.

Hey, rory, paris.

Oh, glenn, I'm so glad
You stopped by

Because this is an issue
That affects every person

That has a heart
And a soul.

A great injustice is being
Perpetrated on our watch,

And we've got to do
Something to stop it.

Aren't you gonna
Sign the petition?

No, I just needed a place
To put my sandwich down.

Is that a raindrop?

Yep.

Paris: out of the way.

Is it raining?

No, it's national baptism day.
Tie your tubes, idiot.

Wet.
Cold.

[ door slams ]

Go, go!

I get the radiator.
No way.

You got it last night.
I did not!

Paris, you took up
The whole thing with your

"Hey, gore, don't endorse me"
Sweatshirt,

And my blue sweater
Is still soaked.

Oh, my god,
I'm cold!

We're wimps -- we would last
Two seconds in burma.

At least
It's warm in burma.

Okay, we're horrible.

This is the kind of cold you
Read about in a dickens' novel.

We should be in a workhouse
Or shilling for fagin.

It's supposed to be spring.
Why is it still cold?

It's been the coldest winter
In the history of winter.

My brain --
I think it's frozen.

Is that possible?

And these gray skies --
It's a blanket of misery.

All I can think about
Is getting warm.

That's all
I can think about.

It's warm in florida.

What?

Nothing.

Did you say "Florida"?

No.

Yes.

Seriously?
Maybe.

But it's spring break.
I know.

It's "Girls gone wild,"
And boys doing the twist.

We're not spring-breaky people,
Are we?

I don't know
What we are,

But I am so cold right now that
The thought of spending a week

With a bunch of drunken bimbos
And rattle-headed frat boys

Seems like a very good
Trade off for being warm.

Warm...

Warm...

Mom,
Where's my bathing suit?

Lorelai: uh...Do you have
A bathing suit?

Of course
I have a bathing suit.

When was the last time
You wore it?

I don't remember.

Uh, did it involve
A rubber ducky?

No...I don't think.

Check the bottom drawer,
And I will look in your closet.

So now, tell me again --
Who's driving?

Glenn.
It's his mom's van.

And this glenn --
He's a good driver?

I have no idea.

You've got
To learn to lie.

Glenn's a very responsible guy.
I'm sure it will be fine.

And the place you're staying
Is safe?
Yes.

Now you're catching on.

Ahh! Aha!
Bathing suit.

Now we just have to find
The wimple that goes with it.

Hey, was I supposed to clear
This with you first?

Clear what with me?
Going away.

Oh, I don't know.

I don't live here anymore,

So I'm not sure
What the protocol is.

I think as long
As I know now,

And I feel as if I have
Veto power, we're good.

You have veto power?
No.

I feel as if I have
Veto power --

Very different statement.

But you'll call me a lot
While you're there, right?

You're not worried,
Are you?

Because I'm just going for the
Sun and to read, nothing more.

I know, I know.

It's just it's always the good
Kids who've never had a drink

That take one sip of kahlua
And fall out of a window.

So you're sad you never
Taught me how to drink?
Exactly!

Grab a bottle and some quarters
And let's go.

No falling out of windows.

Not even
A first-floor one.

And don't drink.

And after you're done
Not drinking,

Drink tons of water
And take two aspirin
Before you go to bed.

And take paris
With you everywhere.

Not much can happen
With that girl along.

They're here.
Oh.

Maybe they can stop by a bathing
Suit store along the way.

My suit is fine.

No, sure it is.

It's nice to be able to go
From the beach to the mosque

Without having to change.

Glenn:
Seriously, paris, get out!

Paris:
No! I have to drive.

You drive exactly like
You look like you drive.

What's that
Supposed to mean?

You speed like a maniac.
You tailgate.

They were going
Two miles an hour.

It was
A driving-school car.

Well, they went to school
To learn a lesson.

I was just giving them
Their money's worth.

Hey, guys.

Let's go.
We're on a schedule.

Janet: thank god
You're here.

Glenn,
This is my mom.

Hi, I'm lorelai.

Congratulations on being
Student of the month

At the grandville
Middle school.

You lookin' forward
To the beach?
Yes, I am.

You don't have to show up
In what you're going to wear.

They'll let you change
When you get there.

I'm not cold.

No, of course not.

Could you?
Thanks.

So, how come
Paris is driving?

Are we gonna
Go through this again?

I can't be in a car if anybody
Else is driving, okay?

If I die in a car crash,
It's going to be at my own hand.

Hi, paris.
Hi, lorelai.

Bye. No windows.
No windows.

Oh, hey, um, glenn, would you
Mind if rory sits up front?

She gets carsick.

Okay.

Airbags.

Okay, um, have fun.
Drive safely.

Let's go...And say a prayer
For the roadkill.

[ indistinct conversations ]

[ tires screech ]

You're a lunatic!

Hey, I shaved three hours
Off the mapquest estimate.

How about a "Thank you"
For that?

Who's in charge here?

I'm guessing pink shirts
And white shorts?

I think my clothing choice
Has been vindicated.

Swank attire
And desperation for approval.

The chicks
Are gonna eat you up.

It is warm.
Are you feeling the warmth?

I'm definitely
Starting to thaw.

Name, please.
It's under "Billings."

Okay...

Okay, we have you girls
In room 6.

And what is your name?
Jack.

Jack.
Well, jack, hello.

I'm paris,
And this is andrew.

We just want to make sure that
We're getting your best room.

Actually,
Room 9 has a better view,

And it's closer
To the ice machine.

Let's go with 9.

Now, who's gonna help
With our bags?

Good.
Okay, those four bags...

Uh, rory,
Your bookbag...

Um, sure.

I'm gonna go
For a run.

Just a short one
Around the block.

She looks so normal,
And then that happens.

Paris geller, room 9.
Remember that.

A lot of people make
The mistake of tipping
At the end of a trip.

But I always tip
As you go along.

That way, they never know
When the honeypot dries up,

And it keeps them
From going through your stuff

And robbing you blind.

Paris geller, room 9.
Remember that.

Oh, man, look at that.
We're right on the ocean.

Paris, look at it.
It's right there.

I see it.

Oh, hey,
We're in room 9.

Feel free to keep the sheets
Clean and the towels coming.

Okay...Not bad.

Hey, you know
What would be swell?

A vcr to go
With that television set.

You mind?
You're aces, pal...Really.

I'm giving the toast
At your wedding.

Well, at least it doesn't
Smell bad in here.

Pull your covers down
And roll on the bed.
Why?

We are sharing this room
With four other girls, rory.

Plus barbie -- we have
To stake out our territory.

Yes, and then we need
To up your dosage.

Look, a person comes in --
They see a dent in the bed,

Possibly a hair
On the pillow...

So the person's
David caruso?

They'll figure
That bed is taken.

They will then move on
To the couch or the rollaway.

That's insane.
Okay, suit yourself.

[ indistinct clamoring ]

And I was worried
I would I feel stupid.

[ indistinct yelling ]

Where are you going?

To see what all
The ruckus is about.

Man, that's a lot of people
Stuck to that tiny car.

[ indistinct conversations ]

Hey.

Hey.

Hmm, that was subtle.

What are you
Talking about?

Your gentleman
And his trashy moment.

He said "Hey."
I heard.

I said "Hey" back.
You did.

In burma, you'd be
Married...Or brutally killed.

I'm gonna
Go make my bed.

Man, I'm thirsty.

Root beer?

Paris, the guy
Doesn't work for you.

Not yet.

With that mug of his,
It's only a matter of time.

I overslept again.
I know.

Why didn't you
Get me up?
I tried,
And you bit me.

I did not bite you.

I did bite you -- cool!

Here, eat this
Before it gets cold.

You made french toast?

Well, I had a lot of energy
After my run, so...

You went running?

Well, I had to wait
For the laundry to dry.

You had an entire day
Before I woke up.

Here, you want bacon?

You went out
And slaughtered a pig

Between the running
And the french toast?

Yes, and by the way, that
Whole ozone-layer problem...

Taken care of.

You're my
Green-party hero.

Here.
Oh, no -- can't.

I have to get to the printers
And pick up the brochures

Because today
Is mailing day.

But do you have a baggie?
Uh, yeah, here.

Perfect.

Mmm.

What are you doing?

This is french toast
On-the-go.

The other drivers on the road
Love it.

Come here.
I'll call you later.

We'll plan our weekend.

Um, hey, lorelai,
Hold on a second.

Here.
A key.

Yeah, it's a key
To the apartment.

Oh...Good.

Do you want me
To let someone in?

No, it's just
An extra key.

I thought, if you were coming
Over and I was running late...

This way you didn't have
To wait in the hallway.

Okay.

Or if you were
Carrying something,

And you couldn't wait for me
To get to the door...

This way,
You're all set.

Okay...Good.
Makes sense.

Yeah, it's just
A practical thing.
Oh, good.

Or you don't
Have to take it.

No, I'll --
I'll take it.

I mean,
I know how it is.

You've got your keys
On your ring just so,

And then you put in a new one --
It throws off the whole balance.

Well, if you think --
Or you can keep it.

You sure?
If you want.

[ sighs ]
I can go either way.

It's fine with me.

Well, which way?
Either way.

Well, I'll take it,
[chuckles] Okay?

Thanks for
The french toast.

Uh...Thanks for
The hand injury.

Anytime.
Bye.

Paris: here --
It's over here.

Rory: whoa, how did we
Get a tent?

Toby, again.

Which one's toby?

The one
With the bandaged hand.

He cut it
Setting this up.

I popped him
Another sawbuck.

Cool tent!
How'd we get it?

Stay ignorant,
Glenn.

It comes with the oppressive
Guilt of the ruling class.

Hey, janet.
I like your suit.

Thanks, glenn.

Hey...Hot dogs.

Man, it is
So loud out here.

You never think of the beach
As being loud.

You do when there's
A band of huns

Re-enacting "Top gun"
In back of you.

Hey! Throw it back.

No!

Paris:
What are you doing?

Rory:
Putting a towel down.

Don't.
We have, like, a hundred
Towels in the room.

There's so many towels, there's
Basically no room for us.

Man:
I need my ball.

You need
A couple of 'em, pal.

Here.
Ignore her.

She likes it.

Rory, stop.

I'm not gonna
Sit in the sand, paris.

Over here.

Great....Okay.

Thanks.

Now, we're going to need
A fruit plate in about an hour

And keep
The ice tea coming.

What?
Nothing but
Admiration here.

I'm going to go
Do my laps in the ocean.

You're gonna work out
On spring break?

Exercise is a high.
You should try it.

Are you properly
Sunscreened?

10 minutes in the sun can cause
Irreparable skin damage.

And constant shoulder tension
Creates a hunchback.

Fine, go.

I hear melanoma
Is very in this year.

Here, casper,
You better use this.

You're just lucky you got
A fruit plate coming.

Rory, paris!
Oh, my god!

Unbelievable.

What are you guys
Doing here?

Actually we came for tulane's
Spring break and just stayed.

Madeline:
We've been here a month.

I'm so excited
To see you guys.

Paris, you missed a spot.
I can see skin.

So, when did you
Get here?

2:00 this morning.

I love 2:00
In the morning.

You guys
Are having a good time?

Uh, way better
Than most other people.

It took a couple of weeks
To get the right routine down,

But now we own this town.

The chamber of commerce
Must be thrilled.

I think the last place
On earth

I would ever expect to find
Paris geller is at spring break.

Hey, I'm up
For new things.

Then we have to make sure
You do this right.
There are rules.

There always are
In a civilized society.

It is very important to find
The right hot club every night.

What was hot last night
Is not tonight.

Madeline: adjust your sleeping
Patterns for maximum partying.

Mid-to-late-afternoon sleeping
Allows the best stamina.

Okay.
You got that, paris?

Were we really friends
At one point?

They do card at the clubs,
But there's ways around it.

Major flirting...
A sexy voice...

And, if all that fails,
Make out.

Rory: with who?
Each other.

We found that
If we kiss each other,

We can get anything
We want from guys.

T-shirts, boat rides,
Frisbees...

Earrings, sea-dos...

Okay.
Well, that is a good tip.

Yeah, maybe later
I'll pants you for an altoid.

Madeline:
Hey, where are you staying?
The sea sprite.

We've made out there.

Louise, it's 1:00.

We've got to go
Get to bed.

We'll come
See you tonight.

I liked the
Pant-you-for-an-altoid thing.

Oh, my god,
I'm starving.

I can't believe what a great
Video store that was.

A little research
Before a trip never hurts.

Pizza and
"The power of myth"...

A perfect evening.

What?

Nothing -- just checking
The messages, that's all.

Are you expecting
A call from asher?

No, I'm not
Expecting a call.

He's at a conference in denver,
So I'm not expecting a call.

I mean,
He knows I'm here,

And I left him a contact number
In case of emergencies,

But not expecting a call.

God, I love this.
I've seen it four times.

Five.
Seriously?

It was almost six,

But my mom tried to be
Funny one day and hid it.

I thought you and your mom
Got along?

Even we
Have our dark periods.

Wow, it sounds like
Quite a party out there.

Yep.

I think someone
Just got thrown in the pool.

I hope it's the guy
Who took my five bucks

And never brought me
A root beer.

Okay, I'm sorry,
Are we doing this right?

Doing what right?
Spring break.

We're in here alone with
Joseph campbell and bill moyers,

And everyone else
Is out there with --

Everyone else?
Yeah.

But...We love bill moyers.

Yes, we do love
Bill moyers.

But we did come here
For spring break,

And I'm just wondering
If we're not spring-breaking

The way you're supposed
To spring break.

You're probably right.

I mean, if we're here,
We should probably commit.

Try to experience
The entire event.

With other people,
Outside this room.

Okay.

Let's do it.
Let's commit.

Okay. Starting now?
Starting now.

Man:
...To explain the universe
And their place in it.

The 20 books
He wrote or edited

And have influenced artists
And performers...

Tomorrow's fine, too.
Absolutely.

...When he died,
He was working on a monumental,

Historical atlas
Of world mythology --

His effort to bring
Under one roof

The spiritual and intellectual
Wisdom of a lifetime.

I got $5 on the blond
With the tattoo.

You always go
For the tattoos.

God, I'm starving.

I haven't had anything
But vending-machine junk.

I would kill for something
Nonsynthetic.

Ohh! Perfect.

Okay, forget I said
"Giant q-tips."

They're not hitting each other
With giant q-tips.

But now I can't get
Giant q-tips out of my head.

It's too powerful a visual.

I know, I'm sorry.

So how is it?

It's good so far.

Yeah, how good?

I haven't had a drink yet.

Okay, are you sure
You weren't drinking,

And that's why you think
They're giant q-tips?

Um...Maybe.

Hello?
What just happened?

Hmm?

You sound distracted.
Did something cute just walk by?

Um...No.

No, I was just trying
To think of something better

To describe the,
Uh, the giant q-tips.

So I'll call you later,
Okay?

No windows.
No windows.

What?

Excellent taste.
What's his name?

Whose name?

The guy you were
Just staring at.

I wasn't staring.

Oh, no.

The twins.

God, they're everywhere.

We can't compete
Against twins.

Especially once they caught on
To the whole kissing thing.

Let's find another pool.

We'll see you guys
Tonight.
Rory: okay.

Hey, why don't you go get us
Something at the bar?

What?

Then you can go
Talk to that guy.

[ indistinct conversation ]

Uh, that's okay.

Come on -- go.

Flirting seems to be
A very big part

Of this spring break ritual,
And I'm taken.

I have to live vicariously
Through you.

Well...

Man on loudspeaker:
The banana-eating contest

Is about to start
On the upper level.

Oh, real food.
Thank god.

Um...Paris.

Hey, um, do you know
What those things are called

That they hit each other
In the pool with?

No, I don't.

Oh, just wondering.

[ can tab pops ]

Do I lose points for that?

No, no points lost.

Man:
Hey, sean, man, come on!

Comin'.

See ya.

Oh, okay.

See ya.

[ young men shouting ]

Paris: I must be crazy for
Thinking a banana-eating contest

Was about eating a banana!

You guys want something?

Maybe later.

We'll be back.

[ glasses clink,
Drink spills ]

[ cheering ]

Wow, quite a scene.

Yeah, I guess we found
The hot place tonight.

Yep, no one can sniff out
The hip like we can.

Okay, so,
Here we are.

We should do something.

What?

I don't know.

We could dance.

Dance...Okay, sure.

Let's -- let's dance.

Okay, let's dance.

This is fun.
Yep.

[ chuckles ][ chuckles ]

Hey, I think
Your husband's here.

What? Where?

Why don't you go
Buy him a drink?

What,
Like a nice ginger ale?

Maybe you could get madeline and
Louise to buy a drink for you,

And then you could go
Bring it to him.

Well, that was the shortest
Relationship ever.

What?
He looked, he saw,
He changed his mind.

Sorry.

Okay,
What is going on here?

What?

Why is every single person
In this place

Having a better time
Than we are?

Well, I don't know
That they are.

Look around.

Every single person in
This place is having a
Better time than we are.

Why? I mean, we've been doing
Everything everybody else is.

We're here,
In the hot place.

So we're not
Great dancers.

We did the hanging out
At the pool part pretty well.

We're not
Trying hard enough.

What are you talking about?
This is not a test.

We came here
To do spring break,

And we are going
To do spring break.

Well, what else
Do you suggest we do?

[ squeals ]

What are you doing?
Are you crazy?

Well, madeline
And louise do it.

Madeline and louise
Wear their underwear
Outside of their clothes.

I don't want to do
What madeline and louise do.

I just thought --
Just stop thinking, okay?

Your thinking
Is very, very dangerous.

Rory...
You're not my type.

Will you just wait?
What?

How was I --
As a kisser?

Oh, man!

Well, I've always
Wanted to know,

And you can't ask a guy
'cause that's a sign
Of low self esteem,

Which I've read
Is really not sexy.

So tell me --
How am I?

Do I need to relax
My lips a little,

Maybe open my mouth more,
Make it more inviting?

I need some fresh air.

Hey.
Where you goin'?

Um, outside.

Can I come with you?
Oh, well...

Maybe your girlfriend
Wants to come, too.

My girlfriend?

I gotta tell you --
That was some kiss.

Oh, my god!

So the movie
Was good.

Nice to see michael caine
Working again.

Which was sarcastic...

'cause he works a lot...

Constantly.
[ chuckles ]

Never says "No" to anything,
Which can be risky, you know?

Lowers your
Batting average.

Well,
I'm glad you liked it.

[ sighs ] Jason, you're making
Me work too hard tonight.

[ sighs ] I know.

I mean, I wore the cute boots,
You know?

Do you see the cute boots?
Very cute boots.

Well, I've had a full night,
What with the walking straight,

The balancing, and the not
Yelping out in pain.

If I'd known I'd also had
To do all the talking, I --

I think I did it wrong.

You did what wrong?

The key
That I gave you.

The key...To your apartment?

The key was supposed
To say something.

So it's a talking key.

Look, you and I are hitting
That point in a relationship

Where I usually
Break it off.

Oh, well, gee,
Should we get a cake?

Every single time with
Every other woman I've
Been involved with,

This is about the time
That I would --
[ sighs ] Bolt?

I was gonna say "Run," but
"Bolt" sounds more masculine,

So yeah, sure, "Bolt."

Well,
It's time to bolt.

Okay, good thing you're
Not wearing my boots.

[ sighs ] I don't think
I'm doing this right, either.

No, no, you're doing it
Just fine.

It's cold, so...

The other night I woke up and
The timer went off in my head --

"Hey, buddy,
It's about that time."

So I did
What I always do.

I thought about you,
And I thought about us,

And I thought about all
The things that bother me,

And I came up
With nothing.

Nothing?

I went over it
And over it in my head.

That feeling,
That "I want out" feeling --

It wasn't there.

What was there was the very
Strong sense that if I did...

Bolt...

I might as well go out
And find a pointy hat,

A stool, and a classroom
Full of sixth graders,

Because I'd be an absolute idiot
To screw this up.

So I went out
And made the key.

The talking key.

And I was hoping
That the key would say

That this is different,

And that I want you in my life
A lot more than you are now.

Wow.

Well, I mean, it would have been
More interesting

To hear that from the key...

It's definitely more romantic
Hearing it from you.

I'm gonna go take care
Of mr. Caine for you now.

I would appreciate that.

Good night.
Good night, jason.

Hey, it's luke.

I'm sorry to be calling you
Like this,

But I was wondering if,
When you get this message,

You could come pick me up
'cause I need a ride.

I'm in litchfield,
The corner of mason and pine.

It's a big, white building.

You'll recognize it by
The police sign outside

Because, oh, hell,
I'm in jail.

Okay, there I said it.
Long story.

I'll tell you
When you get here.

Thanks...If you come.
Oh, one more thing.

I need to borrow a little
Money -- 300 bucks.

It's just a loan, and,

Oh, hell, it's for my bail.

I'm gettin' off now!
Relax!

Madeline: I think the two of you
Would make a great couple.

Rory: no way.
Paris: why not?

You're way too
High maintenance for me.

The whole place was a-buzzing
About the kiss.

Even the twins
Were jealous.

Super, great.
Love to hear that.

Who needs more?

Everybody? Good.
I'll be right back.

So, paris,
How's the princeton man?

Jaime and I broke up.

Paris has
A different man now.

You do?

I'm dating a professor.

Tenured?
Ages ago.

[ chuckling ]
Anna nicole, look at you.

He's brilliant, a writer,
Very distinguished, handsome.

Don't you think
He's handsome?

Sure, very handsome.

He's a real man.
He's just so amazing.

I still can't believe
That we're together, you know?

I made them
A little stronger this time.

Oh, cool, it will be fun
To watch the cups dissolve.

Paris bagged herself
An older man.

Oh, I love older men.

They take you
To the best restaurants.

He went to a conference
In denver this week.

He was so nice,
You know --

Really excited
About me coming to florida.

He thinks it's a
Good idea to hang out
With people my own age.

I kind of hoped
That he would invite me

To go to denver with him
But, you know, he didn't.

He had to work,
Paris.

I know,
Or he's sick of me.

No.

Maybe he's going
To dump me.

Mmm -- does he still
Buy you jewelry?

He's never
Bought me jewelry.

He hasn't?
How much money does he have?

Asher isn't rich.

Not rich?

Oh, curiouser
And curiouser.

You're just being paranoid.
He wants you to have fun.

And someone who wants you
To have fun

Is someone who
Cares about you...

Both of you --

Because there are two of you,
And they're spinning.

[ laughs ]
Good punch.

Just keep me away
From any windows, please.

Whatever happened
To that boyfriend of yours?

Who, jess?

Oh, dean.

Dean, that's it.

How's dean?
God, he was gorgeous.

He's fine.

Is he still gorgeous?

Oh, yes.
Definitely, yes.

Louise:
You two aren't together?

No,
Actually he's married.

What?
Why?

Well, he met lindsay,
And they got married.

She's pretty, blond,
Tall, leggy.

Oh, good, just what the world
Needs -- another one of those.

She's nice, too.

Prediction...
She's psychic.

Since when?
Since about
Six months ago.

I think it's
Not gonna last.

Two married 19-year-olds
Won't make it --

Boy,
That's a risky bet.

I think it's
Not gonna last

Because he was
Way too in love with you.

But we've been broken up
For a long time.

But he only had
Eyes for you, girlfriend --

A deep, long,
Soulful rory-eyes.

No, not anymore.

You don't
Talk at all anymore?

No, we still talk.
We're still friends.

Yes, you are.
You're cell phone friends.

You have your ex-boyfriend's
Number in your cell phone?

I told you
We were friends.

First loves
Are very intense.

My mom's still in love
With her first love.

She tells my father that
Over and over and...

Oops, I think I just
Dialed his number.

Madeline, no!
Oh, my god,
It's ringing!

Hang up!

It's his voice mail.
Oh, sexy voice.

Oops, I think it's gonna...

It beeped.

Madeline: talk.

Dean, hi.

[ laughs nervously ]
It's rory.

I'm sorry to call you like this,
But we're on spring break...

[ laughs ]

...And, um, I don't know if you
Remember madeline and louise,

But they're evil, and we were
Just talking about you.

Um, hi.

How are you?

I'm gonna hang up now,
So bye.

I'm going to kill you!

Oh, my god,
I'm so gonna kill you!

It's going to bad
And death-like, and...

I'm gonna go for a walk
Because this punch

Is starting
To live up to its name.

I'll go with you.

Don't move because I'm going
To come back to kill you.

We'll be here.

[ laughs ]

There -- my truck.

[ sighs ]

You know, luke,
You don't have to tell me

What happened
Unless you want to.

But I promise I won't
Ask you about it again...

Ever...

In this lifetime
Or the next.

You know, I'll just tell
Shirley maclaine,

"Hey, look,
Back off, shirl.

If luke had wanted me
To know,

He would have told me
Back in my other lifetime,

And I certainly
Don't expect -- "

I wanted to see
Who owned the socks.

And did you?

I think so.

I just had
A feeling tonight.

Nicole was kind of
Vague on her plans,

So I told her
I'd stay at the diner.

And then I drove up here,
And I parked, and I waited.

And then this
Car pulled up,

And she got out with him.

And, uh,
They went inside,

And I watched them go.

And you're sure
He's the owner of the socks?

Well, I didn't ask him,
But he's the owner of the socks.

And if he isn't, the picture's
Still not looking very good.

I agree with you there.

Anyway, I sat here
And watched them go inside.

I had all these thoughts
Rolling around in my head.

I mean, how could she do this,
You know?

In there --
In our house.

I mean, I...

I put bookshelves up
In there.

If it makes you
Feel any better,

I don't think he's using
Your bookshelves.

I suddenly just got so mad,
You know, I lost it.

I had to do something,

So I got out and marched up
To his car, and I kicked it.

You kicked his car?

Oh, hey, I kicked it hard and
Over and over and over again.

Oh,
You beat up his car.

And then, all of a sudden,
These cops pull up,

'cause some busybody
In the neighborhood

Saw some lunatic
Attacking a car,

And, well,
You know the rest.

Did nicole see you?

I don't know.

I don't know what she
And the sock man saw.

[ sighs ]
God, I feel like such an idiot.

I mean, suddenly I became
Like one of those guys

That gets jealous and,
You know, does crazy things.

Yeah, you weren't "Like"
One of those guys.

You were
One of those guys.

[ snickers ] Yeah, well...

Was there any damage?

No.

Luke...

Hey, luke,
Where are you going?

See?
Nothing -- not a scratch.

Those stupid
Dent-resistant panels.

This is the car?
Yes, this is the car.

He sat there.
She sat there.

They got out there,
Walked up there.

I jumped out there,
Ran up here,

Was handcuffed there,
Was driven off there.

I went to jail.

And you drove all the way
Up here to get me...

And they
Are still in there!

I mean, I can't believe
They're still in there.

Luke, come on.

I know what they're doing.

But even if you took
One of those pills

That they were hawking
At the super bowl, you know,

They should have been done
In four or five hours, tops.

I mean, that commercial
Said it all --

"If you're still active
After four hours,

You should call
A damn doctor."

Come on, why don't we --

What are they, talking?

Making plans in my house?

Damn son of a --

[ pounding ]

You lying piece
Of sockless garbage!

Why don't you take home
My socks, too?

Luke, you were busted already
Once tonight -- that's it.

All right, I'm fine.
I'm fine.

Are you sure?
Yeah.

Pretty soon, that car's
Gonna start fighting back.

I'm fine...Really.
I'm fine.

[ sighs ]

You know, luke, I know
I've never really been

Miss "This-is-great"
About your relationship,

But I am --
I am so, so sorry.

You don't deserve this.

You really don't
Deserve this.

Yeah.

[ sighs ]

I guess that's it.

Yeah.
Yeah.

Well, at least I finally
Got to see your house.

Whoo, fresh air is good.

Fresh air is healthy.

I'm feeling better.

Gotta sit.
Me too.

What was in the punch?

Did we ask?
Nope.

Should we have asked?

It's not what
The cool kids do.

I'm loving the spinning beach.
How about you?

Oh, yeah.

So are we done?
With what?

Spring break.
Are we done?

I don't know.

Well, let's
Go down the list.

Okay, we came.
Check.

We danced.
Check.

We drank.
Check.

We...Threw up.

We didn't throw up.

Give us 10 more minutes.

Right.

Basically, we're done.

I feel like we have
Officially participated.

We've experienced
The entire social ritual.

I have absolutely no desire
To ever feel this way again.

Let's go home.
How?

We're supposed to stay
The rest of the weekend.

Frequent-flyer miles, baby.

Cool peanuts. I'm in.

Great.

I'll call
As soon as I can get up.

What's that?

What?

Oh, my god!

Glenn!
What happened to you?

The last time we saw you,
You went to get a hot dog.

Hot dog?

Hot dog.

Hot dog.

Ahhhh! Ahh!

Ahhhhhh! Ahh!

Ahhhhhhh!

You gotta admit, it's been
A pretty good trip.

So I call this place where you
Were supposedly staying,

And some punk
At the desk tells me --

Rory:
I said I was sorry.

"I'm sorry, ma'am,
She's not here anymore."

My -- my -- my heart
Flew out of my chest.

And not just because
He called me "Ma'am."

I didn't mean
To freak you out.

You don't take off
Without telling mommy.

I love that I didn't
Have to clear it with you
To go on spring break,

But I had to clear it with you
To come home.

I had visions of you
Being swallowed by a whale

Or taking off with some surfers
To go chase the perfect wave

And not inviting me.

It just got to be
Way too much fun.

Yeah?
How much is "Too much"?

I had a drink.
And?

Paris and I
Took turns throwing up.

That's the way you girls
Will find yourselves a husband.

It was fine -- aspirin,
Tons of water, mac and cheese...

Ahh, my baby's discovered
Her first hangover food.

I wish I had a picture to put
Next to your clay handprint.

I think
I still have the box.

Send it to me.
So how was it?

It was interesting,
You know?

We sat on the beach,
Went to a club,

We watched "The power of myth,"
Paris and I kissed...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You watched
"The power of myth"?

Hold on a sec.
I hid that from you.

Hello?

Dean:
Hey, rory, it's me.

Hi, um, dean.

Hold on a sec.

Mom,
I have to call you back.

You did not spend spring break
With bill moyers.

Bye.

Hi.

So, uh,
I got your message.

Oh, yeah?

[ chuckling ]
It sounds like you were, uh,

Having a pretty good time
Out there.

And I got a lot of questions.
I even wrote a couple down.

Are you ready?

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