All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E09 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Hi.

I have no clothes on.

No, you don't.

I'm going into business
With jason stiles.

I don't think you should.

You're getting
A triple freeze from her.

Takes the onus
Off her daughter.

The more she hates me,
The more likely you will go out.

That's not necessarily
The case.

Marty.
You remembered.

I wasn't the one passed out,
So I had a better shot.

"23 is old.

It's almost 25, which
Is, like, almost mid-20s."

She did not say that.

She did say that.

It seems a little wrong

That jessica simpson
Is alive and well

And roy got eaten
By his tiger.

Survival of the fittest,
Baby.

Man, this place is packed.

Damn that zagat guide.

Only the loser minitable
Is open.

What do we do?

Time to hover.

* you take the old couple

I'll hit the cybergeek.

Got it.

Hello.

Hello.

[ sighs ]

That was some of
The best hovering

I've ever seen you do.

I was taught by the best.

But the focus.
You never blinked.

And the sneeze --
So tiny, so dainty,

So terrifying to the old.

Luke's gonna be mad.

He hates it when we commandeer
Two tables during rush hour.

He only hated it
That one time.

What time?

The time when we did it
And he was mad.

He's hated it every time.

No, only the one time --

The time we did it
And he was mad.

You're gonna do this
To luke?

Till he's so dizzy,
He throws up.

Nice. Calendars?

Let's do it.

Your finals-induced hibernation
Period is setting in...

Monday.

So how about sunday
We have a major sephora fix,

Maybe a movie --

Sort of a see-ya day
Before you go bye-bye?

Throw in a pedicure,
And you got a deal.

Coffee's gonna be ready
In a sec.

We need napkins to cover
This big, wide, expansive table.

Are you in the mood
For pancakes?

Pancakes, sure.

I guess we have
Enough space for pancakes.

'cause I'm making
Pumpkin pancakes,

And it comes with
Homemade cinnamon butter.

You made cinnamon butter?

This morning.

I bet the people who
Would love a table right now

Would love pumpkin pancakes
With homemade cinnamon butter.

I'll get your coffee.

Hey, hold on.
We're sitting at two tables.

You hate that.
That makes you mad.

Only the one time.

Why are you so sunny
This morning?

Well, actually,
I finally hired some help.

Oh, good for you.

I figured
I needed the help --

Get a kid in here
And pick up the slack.

I kind of feel like
A weight's been lifted.

Sounds very sensible.

Let me
Get your food going.

Okay, so, talk to me.

About what?
About jason.

There's nothing
To talk about.

Oh, come on.

I'm in a serious
Romantic dry spell.

I need to live vicariously
Through somebody.

He has called.

Okay.

He has sent things.

Pipe bombs?

Flowers, candy.

Even better.

But he's my father's partner.
I've known him forever.

Can you imagine if I went out
With someone from my hood?

Do you like him?

He's completely not my type,
But he does have a thing

And the smarts,
And he does keep up.

Maybe you should go out
And see what happens.

Dad would flip,
And mom hates him,

So she would see it
As a personal attack.

I'm just getting her off me
For spilling wine.

When?
Ninth grade.

Things are quiet now.
I wanna keep them quiet.

[ bell dings ]

Hey, brennon, pick up.

Oh, my god.

What?

He hired brennon lewis.

You know him?

I went to junior high
With him.

And?
Ew!

He didn't look that bad.

He's the boy
Who dissected a frog,

Did not wash his hands,
And then ate a sandwich.

Ew!

He's like
The lost farrelly brother.

He watched
"The breakfast club"

And decided to tape
His own butt cheeks together.

So, mensa's not sending him
A t-shirt yet,

But luke has hired him,
So we have to give him a chance.

You have the pancakes?

We sure do. Mmm.

Hi, brennon.

Hey.

Rory gilmore.
We went to school together.

Yeah?

You don't remember?
Biology -- the frog?

There have been
A lot of frogs, man.

[ chuckles ]

Okay.
Thanks for the food.

Yep.

Your kids will be gorgeous.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

This roommate of mine,
Sophomore year --

We absolutely hated him.

He was, in addition to being
A complete nincompoop,

Rather a chubby lad.

So one night, we tied him
In between two mattresses

And threw him out the window.

I'm writing that one down.

Was he okay?

Oh, he was fine.
He went to sleep.

He woke up in the morning

And picked up
Right where he left off.

We wound up throwing him
Out the window

Every night for a month,
And then he transferred.

Do you think you guys
Tossing him out the window

Had something to do
With that decision?

Well, it crossed our minds,
Yes.

However, we were young
And full of energy.

Every day was an adventure.

No challenge was too great.
We wanted to change the world.

Richard, I want to thank you
For inviting me to lunch.

You're very welcome, paris.

How often does a man like me
Get the chance

To entertain two such lovely
And intelligent young ladies?

You are a honey-tongued devil,
Aren't you, dick?

So, tell me, what are
Your plans for the game?

The what?

The harvard-yale game.

I already have my ticket.
I bought it a month ago.

You did?
It's the game, rory.

It's a college memory,
And I intend on having

As many college memories
As possible.

Your grandmother and I

Have attended these games
For the past 32 years.

We buy a block of seats,
And we got one for you.

So how about it?
We'd love to take you.

And I would love to go.

Good.
It'll be a wonderful day.

A day to remember.

Richard?

Asher!
Oh, look at you!

Good to see you.
Good to see you.

Your grandfather
Knows asher fleming?

That's amazing.
I read his latest book 4 times.

He was on "Charlie rose"
Last week

And almost kept me awake.

I didn't know he knew him.

I wonder if I can get
An interview for the paper.

What if I want
An interview with him?

You're stealing
My interview.

I'm just making you crazy.

[ speaking indistinctly ]

I'd like
To introduce you

To a former classmate --
Asher fleming.

Asher,
My granddaughter, rory...

Hello.
A pleasure.

...And her friend
Paris geller.

I saw you on "Charlie rose."
You were good.

Thank you.

Not too self-important,
You made your point,

And managed
To look interested

When charlie babbled on
About nothing.

Charlie rose is
A good friend of mine.

Professor, I'd love to do a
Profile on you for the paper.

Nothing puffy. Straight-up,
Hard-hitting, uncensored.

Your views, no slant.
Tomorrow work for you?

Well, I'll have to
Check my schedule.

I do teach, you know.

Sure, you gotta
Pay the bills.

Richard, terrific
To see you again.

Let's have lunch next week.

Consider it a date.

Splendid.
Right.

Goodbye, ladies.

I'm a fan!

I could've opened with that,
Couldn't I have?

Then you wouldn't be you.

Jason: okay, see,
A better man,

A smarter man,
A different man

Would take into account

That flowers, candy, and
Numerous phone calls

Have gone completely
Unnoticed by you.

Those men would get a clue,
Have some pride,

Grow a pair, and move on.

Oh, well. Lorelai gilmore,
Daughter of richard and emily,

Mother of rory,
And friend to all,

Would you join me for dinner
On saturday night?

Please call me back,

Because I will someday find
My pathetic threshold

And stop trying.

This is jason.

This is lorelai.

You're kidding.
No, I'm not.

You're really
Calling me back?

Yes, I am.

Is there someone there
Who could document this --

A photographer
Or fast painter?

You get the girl
To call you back,

And give her a hard time.

You're right. I apologize.
So, how are you?

I'm fine. And you?

I've got a suspicion
You called

To tell me you're
Not available for dinner,

And that's gonna bum me out.

Look, jason --

Let me say I got us reservations
At the china garden.

Ah, you're kidding.

Very hot ticket in town.

Good food, great bar,
Quite a scene.

How did you do that?

Pulled a few strings,
Greased a few palms,

Sold myself to a sous-chef --
A very tender man.

I just want you to be happy.

Long story short --
Table for two at 8:30.

You need
A little, black dress.

I am so incredibly tempted.

But?

But you work with my father.
You're hated by my mother.

You come from my world.

You find me repulsive.

No, I don't,
And I wish I did.

I'm gonna keep the reservation
And go by myself.

I've been reading
About this place for months,

And personally, I would like to
See what all the fuss is about.

Do you understand at all
Where I'm coming from?

Nope, but that's okay.

Well, I'm sorry, jason.

Me too. I bet you look good
In little black dresses.

Well, yes, I do.

Bye, lorelai.

Bye, jason.

It's 10:00 at night,

An suddenly I hear
This terrible racket.

So I go outside,
And there is may richmond

Sneaking a 6-foot rudolph
Into her garage.

That woman
Is working my last nerve.

So what?

Don't you know
What this means?

I'm racking my brain.

Their going to put a giant,
Plastic reindeer on their roof.

Right next to our roof.

They'll keep you up all night
Playing reindeer games?

They can't light them up.

The homeowners association
Has very strict rules

About the amount of lights

That you can display
In front of your house.

And they already have
Those lawn twinklers.

They could give up
Their lawn twinklers

And focus solely
On the reindeer.

They were awfully proud
Of their twinklers last year.

It was
All they talked about.

Take a step back,

Examine the conversation
You're having,

And spend some time apart.

May I have some more roast,
Please, grandma?

Of course you may.

It's really good
Tonight, mom.

Thank you, lorelai.

By the way, rory,
We will pick you up

In front of your residence hall
Tomorrow morning, 9:00 sharp.

Okay.

What's happening?

The game.

Oh, the game...

The harvard-yale game.

Right, right. Football?

Lorelai.

Why does the question
Get a "Lorelai"?

Yes, it's football --

The most important football game
Of the entire year.

All of yale will be there.

Oh, cool. Can I go?

You want to go
To a football game?

If it's such a big deal,
Absolutely.

But you don't like football.

No, I'm not the diehard fan
That, say, you are, mom,

But it's rory's school.

You won't get bored?

I'll get bored,

But that's when the "South park"
Impressions kick in.

We have invited friends --
Important people.

I'm kidding, mom.
I can only do cartman.

So, you want to go?

Yep.

You sure?

Absolutely positive.

Well, I guess
We could uninvite someone.

Cecil, perhaps.
Or donlon.

Donlon just had
His colon removed.

Well, cecil then.

I guess
I should call him now,

Give him time
To get another ticket.

I'll call his wife.

Thanks.

What is wrong with you?

Why didn't you
Get me a ticket?

I was saving you, dummy.

From what?

You hate football.
So do you.

I know, but
I couldn't get out of it.

You could.

So, I have to go
Watch a football game.

I get to hang with you
Before finals.

You sure?
Of course.

What's a football game last?
Hour, hour and a half?

Longer than an hour and a half?
Are you kidding me?!

Damn it.

Emily, cecil's the one
Who had his colon removed.

I'm calling donlon.

[ sighing ] Oh.

I hate football.

I tried
To get you out of it.

You should have
Tried harder.

Where's luke?
Probably in bed,

Where the rest of the world
Is on a saturday.

Did I put on underwear?

What?

I think I forgot
To put on underwear.

Can you check?

Did I just ask you to check
If I put on underwear?

Yes.

I hate football.

You just need coffee.
Oh, no.

What?
Froggy.

Brennon?
I hate that kid.

I thought we were gonna
Give him a chance.

Chance ended when he dumped
A chili-bean omelet on me.

Oh, he's coming over.

What can I do
For you chicas?

We'd just like
To order, please.

Go ahead.

I'll have a cheese omelet,

Sourdough toast, two bacons,
Two sausages.

You're not
Writing this down.

Don't need to.
Continue.

Two bacons, two sausages,
One pancake.

I'd really like you
To write this down.

Trust me,
It's all stored.

What would you like?
Rye toast.

You want that toasted?
Sure, why not?

Got it.

Rye toast?

My odds are
Way better than yours.

Brennon!

Oh, nice volume.

This is a box of doughnuts.

Yeah?

It's supposed to be
A box of bagels.

They both have holes
In them, right?

We've already had
This conversation.

Get me the bagels.
Get me the bagels!

Go. Now. Bye.

Excuse me,
Can I get a napkin?

Yeah, sure.

Excuse me, can I get a napkin
To put my napkin on?

This is
So completely unfair.

I didn't even know
Luke was looking for someone.

I would love to work here.

Your mother
Would have let you?

Luke is a man.
Man parts, we think.

Luke's is one of the few
Mrs. Kim-approved places.

No alcohol,
Walking distance to the church,

And you can see my house
From here.

I totally need the money,

And instead I get to return
A box of doughnuts once a day.

Rye toast.

Told ya.

You wanted, uh,
Something, right?

Oh.

Excuse me just a second,
Won't you?

Sure.

Luke?

What are you doing here?

We're going to
The harvard-yale game.

You know what they do
At the harvard-yale game?

They make babies?
They play football.

And you're supposed to
Watch them play football.

Let's not talk about me.
Let's talk about you.

Ever since you hired brennon,

The little spark
Has gone out of your eyes.

It has?
Yes.

And I am here to tell you

That it is hell
Watching you go through this.

For your own sake,
You should fire froggy.

Froggy?
Brennon.

You want me to fire brennon
Why?

Remember the spark?

Why do you want me
To fire brennon?

Come back, little spark.

He doesn't
Write the orders down,

He never brings you
Food that's hot or yours,

He can't distinguish
Bagels from doughnuts,

He hands out butt napkins,

And he has worn that foreigner
T-shirt every single day,

And he doesn't know
Who they are.

What are butt napkins?

Kirk needed a napkin,

And he pulled one
Out of his back pocket.

Hey, bren.

Did you give kirk a napkin
Out of your back pocket?

Yeah.

Don't.
Okay.

What about
All the other stuff?

You're just used to me.
Give him time.

Have you heard about the frog,
The hands, and the sandwich?

I heard about the rabbi,
The priest, and the duck.

You're not
Taking me seriously.

Hey, bren, get miss gilmore
A cup of hot coffee.

Give the kid a chance.
He's helping me out.

Decaf. And I have
Faith in him.

All he needs
Is a little more time --

Black top --
To learn the ropes,

And he'll be fine.

Where did he go?

Uh, I don't know.

Where are they all going?
They should be in bed.

They're excited about life.
It's a college thing.

How come you're
Not excited about life?

I find nothing exciting
Before 11:00.

Emily: yoo-hoo, girls,
Over here!

God, who's yoo-hooing?
Oh, my god.

Lorelai, rory.

It's a fine day
For football.

And funny hats.

If you're going to continue
Sitting on the ground,

Get a saxophone
And a tip cup.

Sorry. Up.
Right.

Lorelai, what
Are you wearing?

You're horrified
By what I'm wearing?

You're wearing
Crimson.

I'm not wearing crimson.

She can't go like that.

Crimson is harvard's color.

That's a very dangerous choice
To make today, lorelai.

I'm not wearing crimson.
I'm wearing red.

Same thing.

Very different.

Rory is dressed
In yale colors.

Why can't you be
Like rory?

Rory looks perfect.

She's wearing my sweater.

I could just as easily have
Been the one dressed right.

Wear my jacket.

You're gonna have to
"Kill bill" me

To get me into that.

Arm.
Yes, ma'am.

What have you got
There, rory?

Fig newtons --
A little dessert for later.

[ both laugh ]

What's so funny?

We got the jumbo pack.
We're not cheap.

I'm sorry, rory,
We didn't mean to laugh at you.

We love your fig newtons.

We will eat them proudly.

They're just fig newtons.
Don't get freaky on us.

Well, let's get going.

What time does the game start?
1:00.

Why the hell do we have
To meet you at 9:00?!

Is it necessary for you
To talk like sharon osbourne?

You're the one
With the dirty button.

There's much more to
The big game day than the game.

There are all kinds
Of rituals and traditions

We gilmores take part in.

First off, a visit to dan.

A visit to dan.

Who's dan?

Come along, ladies.

Who's dan?

Button your coat.

Who's dan?

Girls, I'd like you
To meet dan --

The original handsome dan.

The very first
Yale mascot.

Oh, my.

Just look at him,
Will you?

Strong, determined,
The very essence of dignity.

Got cotton stuffed in his butt.
How dignified is that?

You will not sully
The name of dan.

This dog has been
The inspiration

For many a young man.

And young woman.

We salute you, dan.

Time for a toast.

Seriously?

Oh, it's a tradition.
Here we go.

The rory flask.

Oh.

And the fun flask.

Thank you.

Lorelai?

Fun flask, please.
Mmm.

All right,
Give our boys the strength

To do battle yet again
For the honor of yale

And help us send
The harvard boys home

In a body bag.

Dan, we salute you.

To dan.

To dan.
To dan.

Mmm, I like football.

I must admit,
Throughout the years,

I have often hoped

To be able to share this day
With my granddaughter.

It's selfish, I know,

But I am thrilled
To be here with you, rory.

To rory.

Two more of these,

And I'm gonna start
To understand your outfit.

* bulldog, bulldog,
Bow, wow, wow *

* eli yale

What is he doing?

* bulldog, bulldog,
Bow, wow, wow *

[ gasps ]
They're joining him.

Apparently, everyone
Has a fun flask.

Cole porter
Wrote that song.

Before he learned
To write songs?

* that is the sign we hail

* bulldog, bulldog,
Bow, wow, wow *

* eli yale

Well done.

All right, everyone,
Time to move on.

We have a lot of things
To get to.

I hear there's a squirrel
Encased in concrete next door.

We have to burn incense,
Dance around his tail.

What can I do to stop you?

More of the fun flask
Might do the trick.

That's all until we eat.

Where are we
Going to eat?

It's a tailgate party.

A what?

Tailgating
Was invented at yale.

Like a beer and a hot dog
In the parking lot?

Emily: walk
A little faster, please.

Did they say "Tailgating"?
I think so.

I wanted to make sure it wasn't
The fun flask talking.

[ richard chuckles ]

Oh, so, this
Is tailgating.

It smells so good.

Hey, how are ya?
Go, yale, huh?

Hi, I'm lorelai.
I'm benny.

Great to meet you,
Benny.

Tell me about
This barbecue sauce.

Please don't
Harass people.

Your daughter
Goes to this school.

Mom, benny.
This is my mother, emily.

We were thinking
Of a summer wedding.

It's nice to meet you.
We're over there.

I have found my place in life.
It's here, next to --

Oh, my god. Look.

See ya, benny.
Okay, let's tailgate.

I really like football.

How's that?

That's fine
If we were in utah.

Message received.

Don't keep
Drinking that, richard.

I'm making
My bloody marys.

You have been working on your
Bloody marys for an hour now.

Rome
Wasn't built in a day.

Taste that, lorelai.

Ugh! Hooyah!

I'm sitting
Across from it,

And I'm looking
For a lampshade to wear.

All right, all right.

Rory, come with me.

I want to introduce you
To some good friends of mine.

Sure.

He is so proud of that girl.

I know.

Sometimes that's
All he can talk about.

Yeah, well, it's
A pretty good subject.

Richard: gentlemen, I want
To introduce you

To my granddaughter, rory,
Class of 2007.

Any word from that little
Ex-hoodlum of hers?

No. Jess seems to be
Gone for good.

How is she?

She's rory.

She's stoic.
She's a lot like dad.

She is, isn't she?

And what about you?
Any men sniffing around?

Just on trash day.

There must be someone.

No, no, no one.

Any weaker, and it would
Simply be tomato juice.

Mmm. Very nice.

Yes?
Mm-hmm.

Perfect.

Hi.
Hi, paris.

Is rory here?

She's over there.
She'll be right back.

Mom, do you know paris?

She came to
Rory's 16th birthday party.

Nice to see you again.
Would you like some lemonade?

No, thank you.
I won't be here long.

Oh, rory. Good.

Here.

I want you to take
A win/lose photo --

A photo as if we won
And a photo as if we lost.

That way, I have it
To remember the day by.

Why don't you wait
Until we win or lose?

I'm already
So bored out of my mind,

I'm thinking of transferring to
Princeton for the hell of it.

There's no way
I'm gonna make it to the game.

Just take the picture
So I can go home.

We won!

We lost.

We're done.

I'm out of here.

Oh, hello, paris.
Join us for some food?

No, thanks, richard.

Thanks again for introducing me
To asher fleming.

Did you get your interview?

Not yet,
But I'm working on it.

I pity him if
He tries to resist too long.

Oh, so do I.
Bye.

Bye, paris.

Whew.

She's an odd little duck,
That one.

Don't I get one of those?

Well, of course you do.

Richard, emily, hello.

Pennilyn.
Nice to see you.

How are things?

Perfect. You?

Lovely. How's work?

Just fine. How's stephen?

Oh, you know.

Our daughter, lorelai.
Our granddaughter, rory.

Hello.

We must catch up.

You'll call?
Of course.

Oh, wait, are you pennilyn lott,
My dad's college sweetheart?

Yes.

You're my almost mommy.

Well, I suppose
You could put it that way.

I'm so glad
To finally meet you.

Let me ask you something.

Would you have let me
Get a pony?

I'll call you, pennilyn.

Ah, yes,
I look forward to it.

Bye.

Lorelai!

Does anything work
Above your neck?

What were you thinking?

I was just trying
To talk to her.

We do not talk
To pennilyn lott.

We run into her once a year.

We say hello, goodbye.

We do not have conversations,
Talk about our lives.

We do not joke
With pennilyn lott.

We do not refer
To pennilyn lott

As anything
But "Pennilyn lott,"

And I would appreciate
You remembering that.

Okay, seriously,
Time for the fun flask.

Hey, patty.

Hi, sweetie.

Gypsy,
Reverend skinner.

Oh, hey, kirk, I got
That cheese in you like.

Pepper jack. It's in
If you're coming by today.

Are you?

Coming by today?
No, not today.

Kirk, I got that cheese
Just for you.

Do not leave me with 3 pounds of
Pepper jack on my hands.

I won't.

What are you doing here
Anyway?

Standing in line,
Because I'm a follower.

Patty, what are all these people
Standing in line for?

Well, it seems like such
A nice day for pie.

What's going on here?

I'm sticking
To the pie story.

Why do you need a pie story?

Ask gypsy.

Don't pawn this off
On me.

Will somebody tell me
What the hell is going on?

Luke --

Sorry, reverend.

I was gonna tell you
What's going on.

Oh, good.

We're all here for lunch.

Since when does weston's
Serve lunch?

We're sorry, luke.
We really are.

About what?

About not eating
At your diner anymore.

You're not eating
At my diner anymore?

We hate the kid.

Brennon?

Brennon, satan, whatever.

Don't you think
You're overreacting?

He's just a kid.

A really weird kid.

He'll be looking directly at you
And start laughing.

No one knows why.
He's just there, laughing.

He laughs?
That's why you hate him?

You'd have to hear it.

I don't believe you people.

You've been coming
To my diner for years,

And now, all of a sudden,

Because I give
A local kid a break,

Try to teach him a skill,

Give him a chance to get
A little extra cash,

A little independence,
You all just up and leave?

So, he's not the most popular
Kid in town.

If I remember correctly,

I wasn't exactly the most
Popular kid in town either.

Yeah, but you didn't do
That laughing thing.

Whatever I did,
I grew up, I got responsible.

This town gave me a chance,
And I proved them right.

Now you're gonna stand there
And tell me that's it,

That you've given out
All the passes that you had,

And you're not coming
To my diner anymore,

Because you
Don't like brennon?

Well, fine. Fine!

Do not come to my diner.

From now on, every day
Is a nice day for pie.

Brennon: * hey...

* hey, tried to get a cookie

* and stick it up your, hey

* stick it up your, hey,
* stick it up your...

* I did it all
For the nookie *

Just give me 10 minutes.

* you can take that cookie
And stick it up your, hey *

* stick it up your, hey,
Stick it up your, hey *

I think I have officially
Eaten 1/3 of a cow.

Mmm, the steak
Is incredible.

I'm glad you're
All enjoying it.

Lorelai, how's your steak?

Why do you ask?

That's it.
Hand over the flask.

I do not know
What you're talking about.

There's no flask here.

What's going on
Over there?

Oh, richard, it's dan.

Dan? It's dan!

I thought
We already saw dan.

This is the current dan.

Emily, get his bone.

Got it.

Here you go, dan.

Enjoy it now.

I just saw your future,
And it ain't good.

Marty: rory! Hey!

Hey, did you see dan?

You can't help it.

He's everywhere today
In one form or another.

I want you to meet my mom.

I'll distract them,
And you make a run for it.

Dan, are you listening to me?
Stop eating.

Your freedom's
At stake here.

Mom?
I was just petting him.

I want you to meet marty.

Oh, naked guy.

You told your mother
About me.

I included some anecdotes
Where you were clothed, too.

I appreciate that.

And who is this young man?

This is marty.
He lives in my residence hall.

It's very nice
To meet you, marty.

Why did my daughter
Just call you "Naked guy"?

I now owe you money.

I had an unfortunate experience
With a keg and a party

And a need
To take my clothes off

And fall asleep
In a hallway.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, please,
That's nothing.

I was naked an entire month
My sophomore year.

Welcome to tonight's episode

Of "Things I never needed
To know about my father."

I and a group of
Like-minded young men

Decided to protest
The new dress code

By wearing silk ties
And nothing else.

We were written up
By the dean of admissions

And threatened
With expulsion.

We were also suddenly
Very popular with the ladies.

This is exactly
The kind of conversation

I had hoped we would have

With our granddaughter
And her friend.

One night in the hallway
Does not a true naked guy make.

Would you like
To eat with us, marty?

Oh, I would love to.
It looks amazing.

But I have to go.
There's a party going on.

I actually came by

To see if rory wanted
To stop by for a little while.

Oh, I can't.

Nonsense.
Of course you can go.

Go visit your friends.
I insist.

Are you sure?

We've got plenty of time
Before the kickoff.

Take this with you.

Thanks.
It was nice meeting you.

Obi-wan.

Hmm.

[ chuckles ]

I like that boy.

Prove it. Drop your pants.

All right, come on.

It's time to go
To the ladies' room.

Was there a memo?

It's an hour before kickoff.
The lines won't be long.

Grab your purse.
You'll thank me later.

I'll meet you right outside.

Coffee, please.

Thanks.

Of course there's a line.
Why wouldn't there be?

You kind of want to
Hang out here anyhow.

Some woman just took
Her 40-year-old son in there.

No.
He might not be 40,

But the images he's gathering
Will last until he gets there.

Why do women do that?

I don't know.

When I was growing up,
There was modesty.

I suppose
That's not in fashion.

Modesty went punk.

I hear
You're opening an inn.

Well, trying to.

That sounds very exciting.
It is.

Pennilyn, we're running into you
All over the place.

Yes, you are.

It's a nice treat.
Enjoy the game.

Same to you.

Oops, the line's moving.

I'll see you later.

Yes.
Let's go, lorelai.

Hey, did you see the woman
With the 40-year-old kid?

Oh, emily, good.

I can't remember whether it's
Two shakes of tabasco or four.

I'll do it.

I did remember
How much vodka.

You're going to
Have to move.

But I don't want to move.

I want to stand right here,
Dangerously close to my wife.

* we are poor little lambs...

Whiffenpoofs!

* ...Who have lost our way

* baa, baa, baa

* we are
Little, black sheep... *

There's no celery.

Sandy, I told you to cut enough
Celery for an entire day.

* ...Baa, baa

* gentleman songsters
Off on a spree *

* damned
From here to eternity *

He's gonna be in so much pain
Tomorrow.

Sandy, what is this?

It's the cookies.

It's the cookies
My grandmother...

I told you to place them
On a doily, not on a plate.

Sorry.

Take them, fix them.

And where's the celery?

[ applause ]

Um, I can get you celery,
Mom.

I didn't hire you
To get me celery.

I know, but
I'm happy to help.

Sandy, I don't want
To ask you again.

Is something wrong, mom?

Nothing's wrong.

These are the best bloody marys
I have ever tasted.

Emily, let's give these boys
Some refreshments.

We can't, because
We don't have any celery.

I've been asking for it
For the last 10 minutes.

We can drink them
Without celery.

How does pennilyn lott know
That lorelai's opening an inn?

Excuse me?

She knows that lorelai's
Opening an inn.

How did she know?

Well --

I didn't tell her.
I don't think lorelai told her.

I can't remember

The last time rory and pennilyn
Had a hen party.

Um, mom...

Once a year --
That's when we talk to her,

Right here at the game.

We ask about our health,
Our children.

If stephen's not here,
We ask about him.

How did she know?

I told her.

Run.

When?

About six months ago.
We had lunch.

Where?
At a restaurant.

What restaurant?
You don't know it.

Why don't I know it?

Because you've
Never been there.

How do you know?

You don't know
Everything about me.

I didn't know you were having
Lunch with pennilyn lott.

We obviously don't know
Everything about each other.

What restaurant?
Adele's.

I've never been there.

We just had lunch and talked.
Two old friends.

So, after all of these years

Of not having lunch
And not talking,

You two decide to get together
And catch up.

Whose idea was it?

Emily, could we discuss this
In the trailer?

We will discuss this right here.
Whose idea was it?

I don't know.

We've been having lunch
Once a year for many years.

It's just
A little tradition.

Every year since when?

Every year
Since we got married.

Emily, please don't make this
More dramatic than it has to be.

No, I certainly wouldn't want
To do that.

Pennilyn and I
Are just friends.

We just wanted
To keep track of each other.

So, you've lied to me
For the last 39 years.

Well, she didn't tell stephen.
It was only lunch.

Only lunch, yes.
Emily, I --

I think you should go
For a walk, richard.

I'll be back
Before the game.

Mom, I know it was wrong,

But I'm sure dad just didn't
Want to get you upset.

Then he shouldn't have lied
To me for the last 39 years.

That's a surefire way
Not to get me upset.

That's true,
But it was just lunch.

It was lunch with
Pennilyn lott, lorelai --

The woman you insisted
On talking to,

Even though
I told you not to.

I didn't --

Your stubbornness
Is astounding to me.

I asked you over and over
To refrain from talking to her.

You asked me once.

But you had to push it,
And now look what's happened!

Are you blaming me for this?

You had to talk to her!

I didn't have lunch with her.
Dad did.

If you hadn't talked to her,
I wouldn't have known,

And everything
Would have been fine!

You'd rather be in denial
About things, mom?

Everything
Would have been fine!

But dad still would have been
Having lunch with this woman!

You weren't even
Supposed to come!

It was supposed to be
Your father and me and rory!

Okay!

This is jason stiles.

[ sighs ] You still have
Those reservations?

Should I -- no.
Gonna let it go.

I'll pick you up at 8:00.

Okay.

And wear something
Completely evil.

Horns, tail,
And wolfowitz t-shirt?

Perfect.

Bye.

Bye.

[ sighs ]

Oh, man,
This place is crazy.

They flew in
The top prostitutes

From hong kong
To work that coat check.

God, I hope that's true.

Okay, is there a star?
We need a star.

Oh, bingo.
Ted koppel's here.

Where?
Right there.

Oh, dear, so, he really does
Look like that.

The name is stiles.
For two.

Ted koppel's here.

Follow me.

Look how she seats us
Right away.

You like that, huh?

If she seats us next to ted,

We have to make sure
To become his best friends

So he invites us to
All those newscaster parties.

Sounds fabulous.

Miss?

Miss? Oh, me?
Sorry. Thank you.

Thank you.

Your waiter will be in
In a moment.

Nice, huh?

Yes, very nice.

Quiet.
You can hear a pin drop.

[ chuckles ]

How are you feeling tonight?
Red, white, or gin-soaked?

Red's good.

Red it is.

I'm sorry, is this
Where we're going to eat?

That's right.
Oh, okay.

They've run out of tables
Or something?

I requested this room.

You requested it?
You asked for it on purpose?

Everybody wants it,
And now we've got it.

Yes, we do, we have it.
Lucky us.

It's just that everything's
Kind of going on out there.

So?

Well, don't you wanna be
Out there with everybody else?

Why?

Because it's fun.

You can't even
Hear yourself think.

But that's the point of
Coming to a place like this.

I thought the point would be

To enjoy the food
And the atmosphere.

Yes, but all of the atmosphere
Is out there.

You don't like the room.

No, it's --
It is weird, you know.

I mean, two of us
Sitting all alone in here.

I feel like
We're quarantined.

It's like the ebola room
Or something.

Okay, I don't know
What to do.

Why don't we ask
For a table out there?

The place is booked solid.

We could eat at the bar.

I don't eat at the bar.

I don't like stools.
Your feet hang.

Hey, this is a fancy place.
Someone will hold them.

Maybe we should just go.

Oh, jason.

No, you're uncomfortable.
It's fine.

Let's go. Ted would.

[ chuckles ]

Oh.

We could go someplace else.
You must be starving.

You know, I'm not.
Had a lot of food today.

Right, you tailgated.

Okay, so, home?

Okay, yeah, home's fine.

We could try this again
Some other time.

Uh-huh, absolutely.

[ sighs ]
My god, I'm starving.

You just said you weren't.

Well, I lied.

Good, 'cause
I'm starving, too.

Well, you should have
Said something.

Our date was dinner.
It was implied.

Oh, okay, next exit.

Get off at the next exit,
Do it, do it.

Okay, doing it, doing it.

Oh, this place,
Best tacos on the east coast.

You're gonna be very happy.

Good to know.

Two tacos, an order of taquitos,
A beef burrito with no onions.

And don't bother bagging it.
That'll just slow us down.

Go ahead.

Nothing for me.

What?
No, nothing, thanks.

You said you were starving.

Yeah, I'm just not
Big on mexican food.

The stuff bears no resemblance
To mexican food.

It's okay. I'm good.

Okay.

Well, I'm not gonna eat
If you're not gonna eat.

What is this, junior high?

No, I don't wanna sit in the car
And eat by myself.

Why?
Because it's not fun.

Does everything
Have to be fun for you?

When I'm on a date, yeah.

Oh, please,
Just get the food.

No, no, let's go.

No, the tacos.
You love the tacos.

I'm not hungry.
You are too.

Forget it. Let's go.

Okay, I'm going.

Okay, go.
Fine.

Jason: I told you
To get the tacos.

Let's not do this again,
Okay?

I just need
To eat something.

This is a supermarket.

I'm gonna throw
My purse at you.

You have to cook
Anything you buy here.

Jason, come on, there are
A million things here.

There's cheese and fruit
And chips

And a whole
Prepared-food section.

Grab this basket and look.

Do you want to start
With the salad?

Okay.

What did you just do?
I need razors.

No, this is an errand.

So?

We're looking for food,
And you're running errands.

I'm a busy man.

We're on a date!

We're in a store.

Now I don't have to
Go tomorrow.

But a date isn't
About convenience.

You're not supposed
To be thinking

About the things you need.

Oh, shoot,
I'm out of toothpaste.

Grab it.

Oh.

Where are you going?

I need hand soap.

[ sighs ] All right.

I'll grab some paper towels

And meet you in
The prepared-food section.

Fine. Which way
Is detergent?

That way.

Hey, you need peas?
'cause there's two for one.

Uh, no, I'm good.

I'm getting you
A couple anyhow.

[ chuckles ]
Where are you?

Let's see, there's jell-o
And tiny cocktail wieners.

Oh, I'm one aisle over.

I'll be right there.

Boy, I gotta tell you,

The advice about
Not shopping hungry

Couldn't be truer.

Good lord,
That's a lot of food.

It's not all food.

You won't eat fast food,
But sno balls are okay?

I've never eat them.
I was curious.

Pink marshmallow-
Coconut balls.

You wouldn't be curious?
Who makes these?

How did the decision
To dye the coconut pink occur?

Why are they shaped
Like a chest?

Is there any dessert

That could stimulate
This much debate?

I don't know.

What are you looking for?

They usually have the mini size
Of these chips.

Get the big one.

This won't fit in my purse.

They must have them.

Hold on.

Watch my sno balls,
Please.

Not on the first date,
Mister.

[ indistinct conversation ]

Let's go.

Where?

Hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry.

10 minutes.

That's all we need.

What are we doing here?

We're looking
For your chips.

This is where
They keep the goods.

How did you get the guy
To let us in the back room?

Talking people into doing things
Happens to be my specialty.

Ooh, look, a time clock.
Let's clock in.

Do you wanna be
Lucy or jamal?

Uh, either one.

What were
The chips you like?

Sour cream and onion.

Ah, got 'em.

Oh, it's just like heaven.

Here.
Wanna do the honors?

Ooh, I feel so powerful.

You're holding a knife.
Being armed does that to people.

Ugh. Ugh.

Ha-ha!

Wow, cap'n crunch.

I lived on cap'n crunch
In college.

Cut him.

Cut cap'n crunch?
That seems a bit severe.

Trust me,
He's got it coming.

Okay, I just hope jamal
Doesn't get busted for this.

Aah!

American cheese?

Yeah, please,
Delicious.

This is a pretty nice spread
We put together here.

A little ingenuity.

It's too bad they stop selling
Alcohol after 9:30.

Not that I need to be drunk
To have dinner with you.

Oh, the fun flask.

Excuse me?

I swiped the fun flask.

So, tell me something.

Why'd you change your mind?

[ chuckles ] No reason.

You seemed
To be pretty determined.

Yes, I did.

And you had some pretty good
Logic backing you up.

I always do.

Between the phone call
Where you said no

And eight hours ago,
What happened?

I went to the harvard-yale game
With rory and my parents.

That's how I get
All of my girls.

And, um, there was
This thing with my mother.

And it just, uh,

Well, she was just,
I thought --

And [sighs] So here we are.

So here we are.

Um, listen...

Whatever it is
Your mother did today,

Do you think she might
Do it again tomorrow night?

I think there's
An excellent possibility.

I'm gonna go
For the giant egg rolls.

Do you want one?

Yes, please, and
Don't forget the hot mustard.

Hello?

How was it?
It's still going on.

How dirty.

We're at the market, drinking
Booze out of paper cups.

How pathetic.

He made sure
I got my potato chips.

How confusing.

I'll explain later.
How are the grandparents?

Not speaking.

Must have been
One hell of a game.

Sorry I bailed.

You owe me nothing
But the gory details.

I might like him.

You're sleeping with every
Person he's ever slept with.

Thank you for that.

Call me tomorrow.
You got it.

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