All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S04E02 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

I got my college
Acceptance letters back.

I'm going to yale.

She's going to yale!
She's going to yale!

If I don't see you, have fun
On your trip with nicole.

We may not go now.
What?

It is kind of like
Committing to her.

I have in my hand a schedule
Of all the activities

We are going to partake in
Over this week,

The final week
Of rory gilmore's life

Before she enters the
Ivy-covered, hallow halls
Of yale university.

Rory: it's from yale.
My orientation is saturday.

Right, next saturday.
No, th saturday.

Don't you understand? This is
My last night with my daughter.

She goes off to college
Tomorrow!

I know, which is why
I was so surprised

You didn't want to spend
The evening with her.

We got married.

So you're legally married?!

Actually,
There's a little more.

Oh, my god,
You finally reproduced.

We're getting divorced.

So, tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow.

I just hope it's everything
I've been imagining it to be.

I've got
Too much stuff.

What?!

Stuff,
And it's your fault!

You inculcated into me

A tolerance
For rampant consumerism.

What?!

When did I become
One of those girls

With dozens
Of beauty products,

None of which
Are expendable?

It used to be
A touch of mascara,

A dab of coppertone,
Zip, bam, boom, out the door.

I heard "Copper"
And "Boom."

Never mind!

What's going on?
We're late.

I'm looking
For the camera.

Oy vey.
I heard that.

That she hears.

It is my prerogative
As your mother

To record any event
In my daughter's life

That I so choose.

It's in
The mothers' handbook.

Does luke know
That you can't drive a stick?

You borrowed his truck
And it's a stick.

I can drive a stick.

You can stir coffee
With a stick.

Okay, I am glad
I did not choose to record

That particular moment
In my daughter's life.

I just want you to get there
In one piece.

You look out for me.

Let's hit the road.

Oh, wait, wait!
This is it!

This is the precise moment
That I've been looking for!

This is my daughter
Going off to college!

Okay, fine!

Okay, I'm lining you up.
Now look candid.

The very definition
Of candid

Means the subject doesn't know
The picture's being taken.

Forget
The camera's there.
I'll try.

Smile!
Okay, okay.

I'm not happy.
It looks posed.

How about this?

You know the stick
We were talking about before?

It looks like
It's somewhere else now.

You're having serious
Annie leibovitz delusions here.

It just looks like
You're standing in the house.

No one will know
You're going off to college.

Shall I hold a sign?

Or do the "Going off
To college" walk.

The walk -- the this.

You look like alfalfa
Coming to pick up darla.

Here.
Hold some of your stuff.

At least it will look like
You're moving or something.

It looks like
You're taking out the trash.

That's it.
We're going.

All right.

I'll have to make do with one
Of the pictures I already took.

Ooh, I'll put it
On the computer

And then superimpose
An important person

Standing next to you,
Seeing you off,

Like kissinger
Or lady bird johnson
Or pat summerall.

Pat summerall?

You think
Of somebody better.

Orson welles.
It can't be
A dead person.

Pat summerall's dead.
No, he's not.

Pat summerall is dead.

No, I'm telling you
He's not.

Lady bird johnson is dead.

No, she's not.

How much you want to bet?
5 bucks.

Let's google him
Right now.

Mom, yale?

Yale can wait for us
To google pat summerall.

Where are your priorities?!

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Hey, luke.

Hey, rory.
Isn't today yale?

I'm going right now.

You look so calm.
How do you feel?

A little nervous,

But a last luke's fix
Before I go will help.

Well, today is whatever
You want on the house.

Wow, I feel important.

You are important.
Where's your mom?

She's coming.

She's having a wee bit
Of trouble with your truck.

What is she doing?

Well, she backed the truck
Out of our driveway all fine,

But once she hit the road,

She couldn't get it out
Of reverse, so she...

Backed it here?

Slow but steady.

Something's wrong
With your truck.

Nothing's wrong with my truck.
Stop the truck.

It won't go
Out of reverse.

You can't drive a stick.

I can't drive
An uncooperative stick.

Come on,
Hit the brakes.

Okay.
Good luck.

I don't think
It's gonna happen.

This is
A misogynistic truck!

What?

It's anti-woman!
It's gender-selective!

It's "Oh, let's drink a beer
And watch the game

And hike our shorts up."

I've changed my mind.
You can't borrow my truck.

It's full of our stuff.

You should have
Hired movers.

You could have said no.

You shouldn't have said
You could drive a stick.

Yeah, not the joe six-pack
Of sticks.

Not the "Oh,
Let's scratch our bellies

And eat some corn nuts
And pick our teeth."

Really, luke,
I can drive it.

Okay, fine.

Just be careful
And have it back by 4:00.

4:00ish it is.

I need it at 4:00.

Give or take --
4:00.

God, he's so possessive
About this stupid truck.

I possess it!

I'm just kidding. I'll have it
Back by 4:00. Calm down.

Okay, I'm just...
Not in much of a kidding mood

With all this other stuff
Going on.

Divorce papers -- fun, huh?

Zero fun.
Sorry, luke.

It's not like
I wasn't expecting them,

It's just the law firm
That nicole works for sent them.

I called
With a simple question.

They insisted on sending someone
Down to see me.

I take it you're not looking
Forward to that.

I'm about to build
A moat of fire.

Here you go,
Rory.

Thanks, cesar.

I had them make us something
To go -- my yale special.

Oh? Share, share.

Sausage wrapped in a pancake
Tied together with bacon.

You made that up?
I don't know how I do it.

Here.
What's this?

A shift diagram
For the truck --

"D" is for "Drive."

"R" is for...
The "R" in "Drive."

"R" is for "Reverse."

And "1" is...
The loneliest number
That you'll ever know.

"First gear."

I know, luke.
Really, I can handle it.

Thanks, luke.
Good luck, rory.

Oh, goody,
A guy in a suit.

Good luck to you.

Mr. Danes?

Unfortunately.
I'm russell bynes.

I'm with blodgett, sage,
Albet, pettruccio, stein,

Lemming, and stein, attorneys
For nicole diana leahy.

And the sun just went down.
Thanks for coming.

You're wasting your time.

I had a simple question --
"Where do I sign?"

It didn't require
A personal visit.

There's no place to sign
Because this is just a document

Informing the defendant of
The type of action being filed.

What are you talking about?
Who's the defendant?

You are.
Oh, my god.

Didn't you read
The papers?

The red sox lost by 3,
Bush is at the ranch
Chatting up a swiss dude.

Divorce papers.

I know.
I didn't kill anyone.

Nicole and I just kind of
Accidentally got married,

And now we want out.

Don't try to play me,
Mr. Danes.

I'm too busy for this.

I should just be dealing
With your legal representation.

I don't believe this.

Not giving us
Your lawyer's information

Is only going
To prolong the process.

If I give you my lawyer's name,
Will you leave?

I will leave.

Okay, ready?
His name is don dewey.

He works at the firm
Of dewey, cheatham, and howe.
[do we cheat 'em and how]

Dewey, cheatham, and howe.

That was very immature.

Well, tickled me.

My bosses are gonna want
To hear this.

Oh, come on.
They've heard that one before.

Hey, if you want don's number,
It's 555-5555.

Thought you were gone.

Nothing's
Where it says it is.

It's gonna be fine.

Nice!

Score!

Thank you.

Oh, and later
I'll point out

The seven or so fellow yalees
Who already hate you

Because your obnoxious mother
Wouldn't let them park

In the only
Open spot left.

Oh, goody. Did you get
The truck here okay?

We had some bickering,
But we made it.

Hello. Name?

I was told it was okay
To hold the spot.

A guy told me.
I forget his name.

He had, like, a jacket.

I was just wondering
What our newcomer's name is.

Rory gilmore.

Right, rory gilmore.

Rory gilmore.
Rory gilmore.

There you are.
Welcome to yale.

Oh, hold the shake.
Wait, lens cap, lens cap.

Sorry.

They all do this.

Shake. Got it.

Who are you?

I'm tess.
I'm rory's freshman counselor.

I'll be living in the
Building and be there
For whatever she needs.

And you look 21 --
Convenient for beer runs.

I'll be giving a tour
For durfee girls you
Should not miss.

I know --
Tour is at 12:00,

Followed by the optional
Express lunch, 12:00 to 2:00,

Followed by the
Telecommunications orientation

And internet
I.D. Distribution,

Parents' reception,
11:00 to 1:00.

You memorized
The schedule.

She's not weird or anything.
She just has a good memory.

And I see you brought
Your own mattress.

Oh, right.

See, the guy --
Name, name, name.

I forgot his name.
It's three syllables.

He said it was okay,
And he had, like, a mustache.

It's allowed as long
As you make arrangements

To dispose of the one
That was already there.

Did you do that?
Yes, we did.

Good.
Get your camera ready.

I'm giving rory her key.

Thanks for the warning.

See you at the tour.

Yes, tess, thank you.

So, she's nice.

Yeah. I'm dying
To see your room.

Come on. Grab a bag.

You made arrangements
To get rid of the old mattress?

Yes, I did.

Really?

Because it
Specifically says here

To make arrangements

To have the old mattress
Picked up before arrival.

Ooh, very grand.

So, what time
Are the mattress guys coming?

Later today sometime.

So we have to wait
In the room for them?

They just let themselves in.
Here we are.

Do the mattress guys
Have their own --

I confess -- I didn't call
The mattress guys.

Well,
What are we gonna do?

We'll find a dumpster?

They could trace it
Back to me.

I'll be long gone
By then.

Mom!
All right.

We'll burn it
Before we dump it --

A match,
A little gasoline.

We're here five minutes,

And we're already
Contemplating felonies.

Just like I pictured it.

Did you see
An emergency exit?

A fireplace, too!
I wonder if it's wood-burning.

It says here,
"Upon arrival,

Please take note
Of the emergency exits."

We could burn
The mattress in there --

Save us a trip.

Oh, man, a piece of my map
Ripped off.

Which one's your room?

I'm missing half
Of the old campus.

R.G. -- this is it!

If I have old campus activities
Today, I'm screwed.

Here it is.

Here's where you're
Going to be thinking

All those
Impressive thoughts.

It's just waiting
For your decorative stamp

And a little
Air freshener.

Where's the phone jack?

I don't know, jack.
Where is the pesky phone?

Mom.

Ah, here's a place
To get replacement maps.

Oh, holy cow,
It's in old campus.

That's it.

What are you doing?

You missed it!

Missed what?

Walking into your dorm suite
For the first time. Do-over.

What? We're short on time here.
We haven't unloaded.

Doesn't matter.

You're gonna be
In the moment.
Mom.

You're gonna be in the moment,
Or the rest of the map gets it.

No. Okay,
I'm here, I swear.

You're not placating me?

I'll try -- really.
I'm all here.

Good.

Oh, here's your suite.

Cool.

Wow.
Huh?

It is cool.

It's my own space.

Well, yours and p.G.'s
And j.B.'s and t.S.'s.

And did you see
The fireplace?

Was this do-over justified
Or what?

You mentioned
Thoughts in here?

All the great ones
You're gonna have.

And air freshener?
That, too.

Thanks for putting me
In the moment.

It's something I would have
Not wanted to miss.

Good.
And thank you.

For what?

For pretending that you're not
At this moment thinking

About missing your tour,
Finding your phone jack,
Navigating the old campus.

My gift to you.

Let's unload
And get you a new map.

Bless you.

Just keep in mind, the dining
Hall hours are cast in stone.

You snooze, you lose.

And it's a post-9/11 world,
So your I.D.S are important.

You'll be asked for it a lot,
So always have it --

Always, always.

It also operates
The laundry machines,

And it's also your meal card.

That's right -- it's practically
Magic, so don't lose it.

If you're stupid enough
To get ripped, I'm here to help,

But I do not hold buckets
If you get my drift.

Now, pay attention
To street parking.

It is severely restricted
In most places.

Walk or take the shuttle
When you can.

First floor, durfee.

Third floor, bingham.

They're babies.
Tots.

Third floor, bingham,
Through the gate, make a left.

Get an internet I.D. Whether
You think you'll use it or not.

It'll be your name
At yale.Edu,

And there's no changing
What you get.

You think there's
Gonna be a test?

Probably not.

Oh, you were joking.
Good one.

No bottlenecks,
Girls.

There's about 100 behind you
Waiting for the same stuff.

Do not get precious
About your I.D. Pictures.

They are what they are.

Did you get that down --
"They are what they are"?

I'll remember.

Next!
That would be you.

What?
It's picture time.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't think pictures
Were today.

Do you mind
If I take a second --

1,001. Next.

Always have your keys.

Never open the door
To someone you don't know.

Walk in 2s at night.

That's it.
Any questions?

Later on,
You'll have questions.

I'll be around.

Now go do stuff.

Rory, are you back?!

Who is that?
I don't know.

She just followed me in here
Like a puppy dog

Without saying a word.

Maybe she's lost.

Or maybe one
Of my new suitemates,

Who I'm already off
To a swell start with.

Do you know how vulnerable
You are to venereal disease?

All hail to the queen
Of the non sequiturs.

This parent orientation
I went to was a nonstop litany

Of the horrors
Awaiting college freshmen.

You're supposed to carry
A whistle, a flashlight,

A crucifix, and a loaded glock
With you at all times.

We should go out there.
She'll think we're hiding.

Okay. Just don't shake hands
With her -- bacteria --

Or tell her
Where you live.
Too late.

Oh, you touched the door.
Good grief.

Say something.

What?

Anything.
Go, go.

Hi.

Hi.

I'm adopted.

You're up.

And what's your name?

Tana schreck.

Tana schreck.
We're making some progress.

Hi, tana schreck.
I'm lorelai. This is rory.

She'll be
Living here, too.

As they're
Ransacking your room,

Professional thieves typically
Start at the bottom drawer

And work their way up.

That way they don't have to
Close drawers

Before opening the next one --
Saves time.

Okay, so, no storing your
Valuables in the bottom drawer.

Got that, rory?

Good tip, tana.
Thanks.

I'm not so great at
Extemporaneous speaking,

So I've memorized some
Quick facts I can whip
Out at a moment's notice.

When I know you better,

I'll memorize some facts
More specific to your person.

Tana, how old are you?
16.

On tuesday.

Happy birthday,
Doogie.
Thank you.

And where
Are your parents?

Oh, at the hotel.

Mom's napping.
Dad's getting the schvitz.

We still have
Some more stuff to do,

But maybe your parents
Will be here when I get back.

I'd love to meet them.

Yeah, well, they make
A very good first impression.

I'm sure they do.
See you later, kiddo.

Bye.

Oh, hey, um, rory?

Yeah?

You nervous?

Oh, yeah.

Okay. Good.

Odd, but nice.

I'll take it.

So, this is it.

This is it.

Learn a lot of stuff.

I'll try.

And, you know,
Keep in touch.

We'll at least exchange
Christmas cards.

With a letter detailing
What's happened over the year.

And a current photo.

Don't joke.
You started it.

I was masking my pain.
You'll see plenty of me.

Not enough.
How about tons?

That's better.

I love you.
Did you know that?

I always suspected it.

Oh, excuse me.

A little fridge.

It's cute.

I want one.

Go get yourself one.

I want one for you.

For sodas and stuff
When things are closed --

Late-night cram sessions.

I guess it
Would come in handy.

Let's see what these people
Have going on.

Mom.

[ gasps ] A rug!

A rug for your room
To make it cozy!

And a vase of flowers!

The flowers
Will just die.

A vase of the most beautiful
Fake flowers I've ever seen.

Trash cans.

Oh, you're right.

And a fan.
I've been remiss.

No, you haven't.

I have another trip
To make.

You've done enough today.

I want you fully outfitted
And settled for your first
Night, or I won't sleep.

Later.

No. Go unpack the skimpy amount
Of stuff I've gotten you so far,

And I'll be back
In a couple of hours.

Copper boom.

What?

It's what you said to me
This morning.

You missed a bunch of stuff
In between.

I think it's catchy.
Go, go. Unpack.

Copper boom.
Copper boom.

Mom!

Copper boom.

Hey, luke.

Oops.

Shoot me.

Now or maybe later
So you're surprised?

A marriage contract is
A contract just like any other.

As the higher wage earner,
Nicole wants a fair settlement.

But I want nothing from her,
So there's nothing to settle,

Mr. --
What's your name again?

Stein.

I thought
You were stein.
I'm stein as well.

Mr. Danes, I'm an impatient man,
A busy man,

A sensible man,
A skeptical man.

You're four different men?
Are they all named stein, too?

If there's one thing
I've learned in this business,

It's that no one
Wants nothing.

Why won't you
Hire a lawyer?

Because lawyers
Waste time and money.

They're needless middlemen
Who slither into people's lives

When they're at
Their most vulnerable

So they can clamp on
And suck like leeches

Until everyone but them
Is distraught and penniless.

I can see
Why the marriage went bad.

Here's fair warning --
If you don't hire a lawyer,

You could wind up getting
Absolutely nothing.

That's what I want!

Maybe we should get
Sage and albet.
Pettruccio, too.

They're gonna multiply,
Like "The matrix."

Tell them.

Tell --
Tell them what?

This is lorelai.

Are you an attorney?
No, she's carbon-based.

Be my character witness
Or something.

Right. Okay.

Well, I can vouch
For this man.

I mean, I know
He cared for nicole,

And, apparently,
They both got a little rash.

I mean, not an "Apply to
Infected area twice daily" rash.

I mean rash in that they
Hastily entered into a union.

But if you think he married her
To get something,

I know that's not true.

He's basically a hermit
And happy to be one.

I could show you
His place upstairs.

You expect hari krishnas

To jump out of the bathroom
Banging tambourines.

All he likes is fishing
And watching baseball,

And he's got a reel,
And he's a got a tv,

So he's all set, so when
He says he wants nothing,

I know he means it,

Because when I think of
Luke danes, I think nothing.

Mr. Blodgett, steins I and ii,
There you go.

Your character witness does
Nothing to allay our concerns.

Sorry.

Bottom line --
Time.

If we do not receive
A response,

We're gonna kick this up
A notch.

Okay, there is something I want,
But I've been holding back.

You know nicole and I
Went on a cruise, right?

Oh, boy.

The first night
On the boat,

We went to see an act
Everyone was raving about.

We go in, sit down,
They close the door.

Turned out to be a guy playing
Musical drinking glasses

With the half-filled cups
That give off different tones.

He played mozart,

And I swear I could hear mozart
Banging on his coffin.

Out of politeness, we stayed,

And there went an hour
Of our lives.

Next night, the sign
In front of the theater

Said the entertainment was a guy
Singing the songs of sinatra.

We verified with the guy
At the door,

"The songs
Of fran sinatra, right?

Not tina, not frank jr.,
Not bill, but old blue eyes?"

"Yes," he says,
"It's like frank come to life."

We go in, sit down,
They close the door,

Then they announce that
The guy singing sinatra is sick

And the glass-playing guy
Is filling in.

Out he comes.
There goes another hour.

Next night we meet a nice couple
While walking the lido deck.

Have some nice conversation,
So we have dinner with them.

Everything's going great.

Then they invite us
To go somewhere afterwards.

Guess where they took us?

That's right --
To see the glass guy.

Three nights in a row --
Three hours total --

Well, that's what I want.
I want those three hours back.

We'll have to confer
On this.

Maybe do
A productivity study.

Yeah, get blob, fromm,
And pinnuccio in there, too.

We'll get back to you.

I have no doubt.

Wow.

I'm exhausted.

Sorry I barged in
Like that.

Trust me, the interruption
Was welcome.

So, did you check the clock?
It's not yet 4:00.

Rory's safe and sound?
And the truck?

Well...
You wrecked it.

It's not wrecked.
I don't see it.

It's around the corner.
You wrecked it.

No, but I need to use it
Awhile longer.

Because you wrecked it
And it's in the shop.

You can't afford to alienate
Your chief character witness.

It's full of stuff.
Why didn't you unload it?

I did.
This is my second load.

You didn't say anything
About a second load.

I didn't know I had to have one
Till I realized

What a piker I'd been
Compared to the other moms.

It's still running.

Yeah, well,
Turns out that ignition key

Is just as misogynistic
As that stick shift of yours.

You just have to jiggle it
A little.

You didn't mention
Any jiggling.

It's common sense.
Oh, that.

Why is the mattress
Still there?

Oh, that's not the mattress,
That's a mattress.

Rory has the new mattress.

That's the yale-supplied
Mattress that has microbes in it

That date back
To henry box brown.

I was thinking maybe
You could store it for me?

Uh, no.

Come on!
I can't take it back to yale.

I'm not storing
Your microbe mattress.

Well, then,
I'm stuck here.

I need my truck back.

That leaves you
With the mattress.

I'm not taking the mattress.
Then let me take the truck.

That means
You take the mattress.
I can't take
The mattress.

Then you can't have
The truck.
That sticks you
With the mattress.

[ sighs ]

If you take the truck,
It comes with the mattress.

I can't take
The mattress.
Then you can't have
The truck.

That sticks you
With the mattress.

We've been here before.

I recognize that tree.

[ knock on door ]

Come on in.

Um, another suitemate
Has arrived.

Oh, yeah?

She's a little weird.
I've already forgotten her name.

I'm a disaster
With names.

That's okay.

It's the name of a city, like
Athens or rome or something.

Paris: I'm sure things
Can be rearranged.

I mean, why not?

Paris?

Yeah, that's it.

How shocked are you?
Do you have
A resuscitator?

I'm going to yale.
And we're suitemates.

Of all the gin joints.

Give me a hug.
Wait.

Give me a hug.

This is a massively
Big surprise.

I was gonna call,
And then I thought,

"Let's wait
And be right in her face."

I can't even feel
My face anymore.

This is a good thing.
Yes, definitely
A good thing.

It's just my nose --
It feels like clay.

Oh, this is terrence.

Hello.

It's nice to finally
Meet you, rory.

Terrence
Is my life coach.

Your what?

Don't judge.

Remember my nanny?
I lost her over the summer.

I'm sorry.
What happened?

She opened
A pupuseria in boise.

So, she's okay.

Yeah, but
I was pretty lost.

Then my rabbi conferred
With my therapist,

Who said a hypnotist
He knew thought a life coach
Would be right for me,

And that led me
To terrence.

He's here to assist me with
Whatever I need assistance in,

From wardrobe to diet to finding
A kick-ass gynecologist.

That's great,
Paris, really.

He's done so much
For my people skills.

I can cope with
The little annoyances now.

For instance, the old paris
Would have been bothered

By your penchant to hover.

It would have made her
Want to wring your neck

Till your eyeballs
Popped out.

But now I accept it because
I can't control everything.

Paris geller.

That's tana.

In medieval times,

Surnames reflected a person's
Origin or occupation,

So they were descriptive
As well as utilitarian.

And what does tana mean?

Nothing.

We're gonna have some fun
This year.

Thank you.

How's your face?

Better, thanks.

Is that my room?

If your initials
Are p.G., it is.

Terrence, I got
My southern exposure.

I'm a happy camper.

It's so weird a coincidence that
We're roommates like this, huh?

Not really. I told terrence
All about our history,

And he felt very strongly

That our life journey
Was not complete,

So my dad made a call.

Luke, this was so nice of you,
Giving me a hand like this.

It was above and beyond
The call of duty.

Don't start this again.

I'm not starting
Anything.

I mean, if you just stored
The mattress...

That's where
We're not starting.

What? It was your choice
To come along.

If I wanted the safe return
Of my truck

Without the mattress guaranteed,
This was the only way.

I miss our friendship.
We used to be so close.

Summers at the lake.

Let's just move along
Here, okay?

Hi, there.

Hello.

Is that your mattress?

Uh, yeah.

Hmm. The tag
Has a yale stamp.

When I said it was mine,
It's not mine.

It belongs in the dorm.

We were driving it
Around new haven for a while.

Uh-huh.

To air it out.

Oh, okay.

We're gonna take it
Right back in.

Thanks for jumping in.

You seemed to have
A handle on it.

What do we do now?

Unload.

With the mattress.

What do we do
With the mattress?

Hi.

Saw you coming.

What's up?

You just have to see it.

[ gasps ] No!

Yes.

Paris?

And terrence,
Her life coach.

Like on "Oprah"?

Yes.
No!

Yes. They're setting up
Her crafts corner.

No.

Yes.

Lorelai!

Hi, paris.
It's so good to see you.

Same here.

Terrence,
This is lorelai.

Nice to meet you,
Finally.
Finally?

You and I have a bit of a
Journey left to finish as well.

I'll clear my schedule.

I was just setting up
My crafts corner --

Some mosaic tile,
Some colored beads --

Still kind of kids' stuff,

But terrence showed me
How working with my hands

Could help
With my nerves.

Where are we
Gonna put the couch?

Why don't you --
Paris...

Two steps forward,
Three steps back.

She was baiting me.

Fish can choose
Not to bite.

We'll figure it out.

Is this the place?

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa.
Hold it a minute.

You cannot bring
That thing in here.

Well, I'm not taking
It back out -- hi, rory.

Hi, luke.

No, we're unloading bags
And boxes first.

Tess already had her antenna up
About the mattress,

And wouldn't stop watching me,
So I had to do something.

Well, wait until she's gone
And then bring it back out.

It's heavy -- the only way
I got it into the building

Is with help from chip, his
Real name, believe it or not.

I have to help him unload his
Stuff because that was the deal.

No, you don't.
Blow him off.

He's probably busy taping
His carmen electra poster up

On the ceiling
Above his bed.

The mattress stays.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
Chip is waiting.

Oh, no! My glue gun leaked
On my macaroni!

Compartmentalize...

And breathe.

Let's get this thing
Out of the hallway.

Hey, I got a crisp
Benjamin franklin

For anyone willing to disappear
A mattress, no questions asked.

Start pushing.

Anyone?

Come on.

Two benjamins?

Hold on.

Anything else you need,
You'll write it down, okay?

I've got more than I need --
Stuff I don't need.

It's all necessary stuff.

The disco ball?

You cannot host
Your much-anticipated

"Salute to barry white night"
Without a disco ball.

I forgot
I was anticipating that.

Where's luke?

He's already
Out at the truck.

So...This is it.

This is really it.

Learn a lot of stuff.

I'll try.

You'll be
A frequent visitor?

I'll be
A frequent visitor.

You can use the washer
And the dryer.

I don't need inducement.

Good.

But don't get rid
Of that washer and dryer.

I won't.

Ciao, baby.

Bye, mom.

So, chip is like,
"Set your side down first,"

And I'm like, "My side is
The side with the leg missing.

It's gonna collapse.
You first."

And he's like,
"I'm losing my grip,"

Which is his excuse
With everything we carried --

The tv, the stereo speakers,
And I was like --

Oh, my god. Were you like,
"Get over this"?

What's that?

My pager.

Oh, no.

"Come back."

What?

It's from rory.

It says "Come back" with
A dozen exclamation points.

Uh, move, move.

What are you doing?

I gotta borrow
Your truck.

No way. Take your own car.
Remember that concept?

It'll take too long to get it,
Plus I'm out of gas,

Plus it's been making
Weird noises and probably
Can't take a long trip.

Please?
I need my truck.

I need it more!
You've had it all day.

Don't you care about rory?

Of course
I care about rory.

[ sighs ]

Have it back by 7:00.

Thanks, luke.

Whoo!

That's reverse.

I know.

Rory?

Oh, oh, oh,
Honey, honey.

Look at this.
Look at this.
Look at what?

Four hours at yale
And I'm already homesick.

Well, that's okay.

All I could think the minute
You left was "I want my mommy."

I haven't thought that
Since I was 2.

That's natural.

I'm 18. I can sign
Contracts. I can vote.

I can fight
For my country.

I'm an adult.
Adults don't want their mommies.

Yes, they do.
I'm not a good example, but --

Everything's so foreign.

I've never shared a bathroom
With anyone but you.

I'm gonna be running
Into people in the bathroom.

We're gonna have to
Make small talk.

I don't know
Any bathroom small talk.

Um, "Gee, your hair
Smells terrific"?

You didn't socialize me
Properly.

You made me a mama's girl.
Why don't I hate you?

Why don't I want to be
Away from you?

It's going to be very hard
To be christiane amanpour

Broadcasting live from a foxhole
In tehran with my mommy.

You're just gonna have to learn
How to operate a camera,

'cause I'll need you
There with me.

And how did I end up
At yale?

I mean, I let grandma
And grandpa manipulate me

Right out of harvard
And into yale.

That's how strong-willed I am.
I know nothing about yale.

Not so. You've memorized
Its entire history.

How can you be
Fine with this?

You left without a care
In the world.

You couldn't wait for me
To get out of the house.

What were you doing
When I paged you?

Turning my room
Into a sewing room?

I should hate you, not miss you.
Make me hate you.

Uh...Go, hitler.

Check this out.

Your student I.D.?

I'm blinking, and my head's
In a funny place.

No, it's not.

I look like keith richards
At altemont.

"Roni gilmore." oops.

Yeah, oops. I don't even exist.
How did they get "Roni"?

That's not remotely close to
Being short for any girl's name

In the history
Of the entire planet.

Well, veronica, actually.
Sorry.

Great. Now I have you
Apologizing to me

After I made you come back
All this way

Just 'cause I'm a big, fat,
Stinking mama's girl.

Mom...

I'm here.

You're not supposed to be.

Where is it written?

It's not exactly written,
But it's clearly implied

That the parents are
Supposed to leave the
Campus at some point.

Yeah, at some point,
So we choose the point.

Can you stay for dinner?

I can stay all night.

No, you can't do that.

Then I'm the pathetic person
Who needs her mother to stay,

And everyone here
Will see and know that.

I won't spend the night.

No, stay the night.

Okay.

I've got balinese.

Where does bali go?

We're still putting everything
In geographic order --

East to west.

That's the system.
Where is bali?

Indonesia.

Is indonesia east or west
Of the philippines?

East.
No, west.

We've got singapore
Here somewhere.

Find sri lanka.
It's a bit over from that.

Just put it by vietnam.

Is vietnam east or west
Of the philippines?

Boy, you guys really need
To go to college.

We ordered
Too much food.

Hello. The point --

We need a wide cross-section
For our local takeout test.

I still smell glue
From your glue gun.

You're rich.

What is this?

You've eaten indian food,

Yet I see nothing
About indian food on the chart.

The point of getting everything
Within delivery distance

Is so we can judge the quality
Of food, speed of service,

Cuteness of delivery guys
On a scale of 1 to 10.

We cannot work
From memory on this.

Where's the phone?

Under mexico.

I bet it's the pizza.

Come help.
Okay.

Hello, 8 1/2.

I'm sorry?

Nothing. We just need to sign
For the credit card?

Yes.

Thank you.

We're four people, and
We've ordered for, like, 400.

So, what you're saying
Is you want to crank it up,

You want to set it off,

You want to put a match to the
Keg and burn this mo' fo' down?

It's a lot of food.

Attention,
Durfee girls!

Mom!

Food and tons of it
In suite 5!

Bring your appetites!
Bring your opinions!

And, hey,
Someone bring some music,

But if it's evanescence,
You'll be severely mocked.

Enter, rejoice, and come in!

Oh, hey, ice cream man.

Hey.

Here you go.

Thanks.
Have a nice night.

You, too.
Oh, uh, do me a favor.

Count to 10
Before you leave.

Sure.
Thanks.

Hey, rate him, rate him.

Hey, where does ice cream stand
In our organizational system?

Our organizational system
Broke down about an hour ago.

Germany fell on china.

That's germany for you.

We're out of chinese completely,
So we know chinese is popular.

Freddy's happy tokyo takeout
Is a bust. That's a consensus.

Let's lose the freddy's menus,

Although ang, the delivery guy,
Was a solid 9.

If you're gonna go
To baja bill's,

Get the cheese quesadilla
And ask for standard tommy.

If you don't get standard tommy,
Go to paco's tacos.

The delivery guys are butt-ugly,
But the food's better.

[ laughter ]

Look at all these girls together
In one room, having fun.

We should dance

And sing a motown song
Into our hairbrushes.

So, do you like
Your adoptive parents?

Yeah.

I think it's good
To be adopted.

If you get sick of them,

You just dump this set
And go find the originals.

This is awesome.

Thanks.

Who did all this?

The woman
With the hairbrush.

Uh, you guys, come on.

I know it's cheesy,
But just a couple bars --

"You can't hurry love."

Someone's gotta do it.
It doesn't have to be on key.

It's lacking
In storage space,

But I have accepted it.

It's a bit musty,

But I've accepted it.

Small. Small...

But I've accepted it.

Hey, listen,
I should be going.

Jamie,
Terrence is not here.

He's back in his room.

Oh, right, me and terrence --
That's a possibility.

I really gotta go, okay?
I will. Good night.

Has he met terrence?

Nope, and he's not going to
For as long as I can help it.

I fixed your shower head.

Really? It was
Barely dribbling out.

It just needed a twist.
You got a waterfall now.

You're so handy.

And my rates
Are reasonable.

My turn?
It's all yours.

No, mom, you sleep
On the new mattress.

But it's yours.

They're both mine.
I get to choose.

I'll sleep
On the yale mattress.

You have to break in
Your new mattress.

If it molds to my body,

Your shorter body
Will be wallowing

In the hollowness
Of my body.

In one night?

It's the crucial night
That first night.

Okay, but my offer
Still stands.

If you get the heebie-jeebies
In the middle of the night,
Come join me.

That'll get
The girls talking.

We'll be those dirty,
Filthy,

Almost french
Stars hollow girls.

[ french accent ]
Ooh, we spit on you,

You repressed,
Puritanical ninnies.

[ french accent ] We smirk
In your general direction.

We cast sidelong glances
That are vague

But slightly threatening.

We eschew
Your quaint double entendre

For the appealing lasciviousness
Of the entendre singular.

We --

[ normal voice ]
I'm out.

[ normal voice ]
Me too. Get the light.

Did I tell you
I found good coffee?

No. Where?

Little kiosk
By the library.

I found it on the way
To that parents' thing.

I'll circle it
On the map for you.

[ man howling ]

Was that some guy howling?

I don't know.
It sounded like it.

Sounds like the guys' floor
Had some fun tonight, too.

I'd say so.

[ howling continues ]

[ howling ]

Mom!

Well, if no one answers him,
He may never stop.

[ men howling ]

Or it'll get a bunch of other
Guys howling, one or the other.

[ howling continues ]

It's fun.

[ howls ]

It is fun.

[ howling continues ]

So, what's first
On the agenda today?

I thought
I might walk around

And get the lay of the land
A little bit,

And then I have
My big freshmen assembly.

Where they teach you
The secret yale handshake?

Amongst other things.

Oh, my god.
Check out paris' craft corner.

She gets more done before 9:00
Than other people do all day.

She's a craft person now,

So it's not safe to leave
Anything around her anymore.

Maybe that's where "Crafty"
Comes from.

Good point.
I should go.

I called luke last night,

And he made me promise to get
The truck back by two hours ago,

So if I leave now,
It's sooner than I planned.

Thank luke
A lot for me, okay?

Okay. Say goodbye
To paris and tana.

Will do.

So, this is really it.

Yep.

You good?

I'm good.
Just keep the pager with you.

Always.

You're late.
I'm sorry.

It's okay.

I told you to get it back

Three hours before
I actually needed it back.

You rat.

So, it's in park?
Engine's off?

Yes.
Here are your keys.

And thank you, luke.

I've been a huge burden on you
The past couple days.

It's okay.

I don't believe it.

It's like a horror movie --

The mattress that
Would not leave my truck.

I had no choice.

I may cry.
Don't do that.

Help me take it somewhere.

Where, the conveniently located
Old mattress drop-off station

Right around the corner?

Or if you could store it
For a while...

I wasn't kidding
About the crying.

I'll call a charity
And have them come pick it up.

I promise.
This time I mean it.

Where's my spare tire?

There was a spare tire?

We must have accidentally
Unloaded it on one of our trips.

Could you try
To get it back?

Yes, as long as paris hasn't
Made it into a planter yet,

Or I'll buy you a new one,
I promise.

Okay.
I'll see you later.

Okay. Bye.

Rory says thanks
For everything, too.

She said specifically
To tell you.

Okay, good.
So, she's okay?

She's fantastic.

Good.

[ knock on door ]

You're up?

I was up.
Come on in.

We lorelai'd a few places
And found the good coffee.

Lorelai'd?

Checked places out.

Seems appropriate.

We found decent muffins, too,
But I bet there's better.

Lorelai them another time.

This is thanks
For last night.

It was a perfect first night
At yale.

We're gonna go to freshman
Assembly together. Want to come?

Then we're all going
To conveniently lose
Our student I.D.'s

And take new pictures.

I'm so with you
On that one.

Cool.

Wow, this is really good.
Kiosk by the library?

Ah, you found it first.

Kind of.

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