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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:02,239
(Birdsong)
2
00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:07,269
( # The Sun Has Got His Hat On
playing on radio )
3
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,196
# The sun has got his hat on
4
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,236
# Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
5
00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:35,519
# All the little boys excited,
all the little girls delighted
6
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:39,878
# What a lot of fun for everyone
sitting in the sun all day...
7
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,111
(Vacuum cleaner whirring)
8
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,634
- Bonjour, Angéline.
- Good morning, Mr Allington.
9
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,676
I always thought you were French. (Laughs )
10
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,115
- Morning, David.
- Morning Mr Allington.
11
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,555
There's a complaint in the message book,
Mr Allington.
12
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,200
- (Maurice ) Not now, David.
- I think it's important.
13
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,236
I think you should see it.
14
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:35,156
I hope this is going to be worth it, David.
15
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,800
- I think it will be, Mr Allington.
- Excuse me.
16
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,749
Professor Burgess. Well, of course.
17
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:46,116
I admit the service wasn't all
that it might have been last night...
18
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:49,112
- Anton threatened to resign last night.
- Why should he do that?
19
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,998
He heard Professor Burgess sounding off
about the service.
20
00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:54,036
Burgess didn't complain
about his cooking, did he?
21
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:58,875
Anton said he is not prepared to cook good food
for a restaurant where the service is bad.
22
00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:00,393
- What's this?
- What, Mr Allington?
23
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:03,199
This, this. The writing's almost illegible.
24
00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:07,516
It looks like your writing, Mr Allington.
25
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:09,079
Why should I write in my...
26
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:28,189
Hello, yes, could you get me
the number for...
27
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,874
St Matthew's College, Cambridge, please?
28
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:37,469
Look, try and pacify Anton
when he arrives this morning, would you?
29
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,152
Yes, Mr Allington.
30
00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,152
- Good morning, madam.
- Good morning.
31
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,356
Don't I know you from somewhere?
32
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:51,030
I think you'll find that these eggs
are perfectly scrambled.
33
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,717
- What happened to you last night?
- Oh, I just went downstairs
34
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,756
to cast an eye over the premises.
35
00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,752
- And sat up drinking with Nick.
- No, Nick had already gone to bed.
36
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,230
I just don't think he should be encouraged
in this thing, that's all.
37
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,279
Oh, honestly, Nick. Won't you ever admit
that a reality might exist
38
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:13,636
- beyond the one that we immediately know?
- No, I won't.
39
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,236
Well, I think that if Maurice is experiencing
some kind of transcendent reality,
40
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,436
he should be helped
to come to terms with it.
41
00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:24,479
For Christ's sake, Lou, he's just a bit confused
about not being as young as he once was.
42
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,519
And he's been drinking too much.
That's all there is to it.
43
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:31,478
You're not gonna make things any easier
if you keep telling him to sit up half the night
44
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,118
waiting to see a sodding ghost.
45
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,556
In fact, you'll probably confuse him a bit more
and tip him over the edge.
46
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,030
You're such a dry old stick, Nick.
47
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:42,315
- Oh, God, you're so tense.
- Am I?
48
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:47,349
Mmm. Your neck muscles
are practically seized up. Relax.
49
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:51,115
- Just let it be, Lucy, eh?
- Shh, relax.
50
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,351
Actually...
51
00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,318
I've got to...
I've got to go into Cambridge today.
52
00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,231
- Oh?
- Mmm.
53
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,039
To look up some old records
about the house.
54
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,473
Good.
55
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,316
Ah, darling, your breakfast
is gonna get cold.
56
00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:15,437
A girl's got to make the most
of her opportunity.
57
00:04:15,520 --> 00:04:18,990
Hey, hey, darling, I've got to go.
Nick'll be waiting.
58
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,992
- Nick?
- Mm, he's coming with me to Cambridge.
59
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,913
- You're not meeting anyone, are you?
- Not in the sense you mean, no.
60
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,549
This chap Duerinckx-Williams,
he dines here quite a bit.
61
00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,551
I'm seeing him, that's all.
62
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:32,119
- Dad?
- What?
63
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,758
- Are you going to Cambridge?
- Yeah.
64
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:37,674
- You promised you'd take me.
- I can't, I'm gonna be in a library all day.
65
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,876
- Dad!
- I'll take you tomorrow.
66
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:43,157
- It's the funeral tomorrow.
- Well, I'll take you soon, I promise.
67
00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:44,195
(Engine starts )
68
00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:46,157
Damn you, Dad.
69
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,992
(Nick) You should have brought her with us.
She's pretty upset about Gramps.
70
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,038
(Maurice ) She'll get over it. Kids that age
put things behind them quite quickly.
71
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,111
(Nick) Do they?
Has she put Mum's death behind her?
72
00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:00,159
(Maurice ) We haven't gone into any of that.
(Nick) You haven't discussed it with her at all?
73
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,234
(Maurice ) I'm more upset about Gramps
than Amy will ever be.
74
00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,709
I don't just mean being nicer,
more considerate -
75
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,518
I could have helped him live longer,
stopped taking him on those long walks.
76
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,598
(Nick) He probably have died a lot sooner
if you'd have cooped him up in the house.
77
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,309
(Maurice ) Nick, what I'm saying is,
I feel responsible for his death in some way,
78
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,516
like I still feel responsible
for your mother dying.
79
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,036
- She was knocked over by a car, Dad.
- Maybe she stepped out deliberately.
80
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,236
(Nick) What, with Amy holding her hand?
81
00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:30,955
What's bothering you isn't that you feel
responsible for her death, it's that she died.
82
00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:35,471
It's the same with Gramps,
you can't cope with it.
83
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,791
Reminds you you're gonna go
exactly the same way yourself one day,
84
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:41,519
- especially the way you drive.
- All right, all right, Nick.
85
00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,079
No, it's not all right.
86
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:46,357
My father's spirit in arms! all is not well;
87
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:48,396
I doubt some foul play:
88
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,391
would the night were come!
89
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,596
What about Amy?
How do you think she feels?
90
00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,636
You try asking a 14-year-old kid
91
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:58,110
how she feels about seeing her mother
knocked down and killed in front of her eyes.
92
00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,952
No, Dad, you try. Just talk to her.
93
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,951
- I do, Nick.
- You don't.
94
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:18,719
- You know what injaynious means?
- Ingenious?
95
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,997
Injaynious. It's probably
a 17th-century version of the same word.
96
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,196
Well there's the OED over there.
97
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,757
Ah, here we are.
98
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:36,719
''Underwood, several verses upon occasions
99
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,633
''with part of Philoctetes, an heroical poem
100
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:42,757
''after the manner of Mr Dryden.''
How utterly dreadful.
101
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:45,274
Not Underwood, Underhill. Dr Underhill.
102
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,316
A fellow of the college in the 1650s.
103
00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,038
Ah...
104
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:56,236
Mmm. Not here, then.
105
00:06:56,320 --> 00:07:01,030
Very well, we could try ''anonymous'',
but he wrote such a lot.
106
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,478
- You're sure it's a book?
- No, papers.
107
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,358
Thornton says they're not worth a perusal
108
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:10,877
except by those interested
in the customs of a more barbarous age.
109
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:12,757
Hmm, must be interesting, then.
110
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,752
You know how scholars always try to keep
the best to themselves.
111
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,070
- (Chuckles )
- Yeah.
112
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,517
We could try ''sundry matters''.
113
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:26,559
That's the unbound, uncatalogued stuff
in the Hobson Room, over this way.
114
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,679
Ah.
115
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,957
To be frank, some of this stuff
is rather naughty.
116
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,554
You'd be surprised
at what our married dons get up to
117
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:09,359
when they set down their thoughts.
118
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,318
That's why some of it's filed anonymously.
119
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:20,076
Aha! Oho!
120
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,116
Can this be?
121
00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:26,920
Thomas Underhill, DD.
122
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:31,949
Olim sodalis Collegii Omnium Sanctorum,
Universitatis Cantebrigiensis.
123
00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,396
- Nothing anonymous about that.
- Could, er... Can I take a look?
124
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,994
Could this be the end of the quest?
125
00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,350
This might be what I need.
126
00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:54,511
Well, there you are. Now you're a scholar.
127
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,356
Thanks for all your help.
128
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:20,712
(Maurice ) ''Conjured up rare shapes,
some consorting carnally. ''
129
00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:38,518
''Eighth of September,
1685.
130
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:44,752
''My man Gurney on instruction advised me
the girlchild Taylor was come.
131
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:49,834
''She prettily consenting,
told her of the wonders I could work.
132
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,637
''Bade her sit,
gave her a potion,
133
00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,349
''also a silver crucifix to hold in her hand.
134
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:02,752
''Caused her to believe
she heard the sweetest music,
135
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,516
''conjured up rare shapes,
some consorting carnally.
136
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:17,839
''She convinced to be liberal also
I laid her to the floor.
137
00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,310
''O quae deliciae!''
138
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:30,150
He seems to have acquired the alchemic power
of creating seductive visions.
139
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,516
''I can call spirits from the vasty deep!''
140
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,795
So can I, actually. Time for a Scotch?
141
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,757
Oh, no, I'm all right, thank you.
142
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,354
(Man ) To die; to sleep...
(Professor) So what happened then?
143
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:46,594
(Maurice ) Well, he, er, charmed her,
he terrified her, then he ravished her.
144
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:50,559
Afterwards, he threw her out
and told her that if she spoke a word to anyone,
145
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:55,077
his devils would pursue her
to the grave and beyond.
146
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:59,597
She returned frequently
for what he calls ''more of my embraces''.
147
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:04,390
(Whistles ) The old goat.
Did he make a habit of this sort of thing?
148
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:08,678
Well, yeah, the diary mentions
several other girls, all very young ones.
149
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,316
Any sign of a Mrs Underhill?.
150
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,630
Yes, they quarrelled a great deal, he says.
151
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:15,676
I'm hardly surprised.
152
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,116
Er, shortly after all this,
she died violently,
153
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,191
apparently torn to bits.
154
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:22,872
He was suspected,
155
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,350
which is partly the reason
he had such a terrible reputation.
156
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,830
That and his so-called scientific experiments.
157
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,310
So he must have been a bit of a magus,
your man, as well as a lecher.
158
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,913
Oh, yes.
159
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,712
Er...
160
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:44,351
''Must now cast aside fleshly delights
and all such for the moment
161
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:48,319
''that I might be master of myself
and the universe.''
162
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:54,236
Master of himself and the universe?
Not bad, eh? Quite an ambitious fellow.
163
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:59,269
''And secure for myself such powers
as were never seen since pagan times.''
164
00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,828
A sort of fertility rites man, was he?
165
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:05,037
I don't suppose he left a handy record
of how to do all these things?
166
00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:09,079
Well, maybe. He says,
''Anyone who fully understands my mind
167
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,152
''will find the means to all
168
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:15,073
''in my most lasting repository.''
169
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,470
- Do you suppose he means our library?
- (Chuckles ) No.
170
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:26,555
I think his most lasting repository
is somewhere quite different.
171
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,479
- (Maurice ) Have you thought about it?
- Course I've thought about it.
172
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,790
Can't see what I'd get out of it.
Maybe I can.
173
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,519
But I just don't know
what you get out of it, really.
174
00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:43,594
Well, if one's fun won't, er,
two be ten times better?
175
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:48,548
I take it you'd want...
well, me being nice to Joyce
176
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:51,234
and Joyce being nice to me.
177
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,233
Well, we're independent people,
we can do what we want.
178
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:58,880
Meanwhile you'd watch.
That sort of thing?
179
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,475
As long as it, er...
wasn't the only thing I was doing.
180
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,915
I think it's all pretty damn
schoolboyish, Maurice.
181
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:09,710
Sort of using people for your fantasies,
not treating them as real.
182
00:13:09,800 --> 00:13:13,998
- I treat you as real, don't I?
- I don't know whether you do, Maurice.
183
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:16,036
By God, I want you.
184
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,550
In summer season when soft was the sun.
185
00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:27,153
O quae deliciae!
186
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,879
What's that?
187
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,916
Just some words in a diary.
188
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,396
(Wings flapping)
189
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,638
(Birds calling)
190
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,309
(Diana ) That was wonderful.
191
00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:18,153
- Better than yesterday?
- Much.
192
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:21,630
Oh. Wasn't it any good yesterday?
193
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:23,676
Yesterday was fine,
194
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,716
but today was better.
195
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:32,875
It was different for me too.
You were different.
196
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:35,349
Today I knew I really wanted you.
197
00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:40,754
- What's changed?
- Nothing.
198
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,236
- It's just Jack.
- What about Jack?
199
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,431
I hate him. Surely you must know that.
200
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,715
- What's wrong?
- Everything.
201
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,314
This dull village, him screwing his patients.
202
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,231
And we share nothing, Maurice.
203
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:57,390
Been trying to make up my mind
to leave him for years.
204
00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,917
- Have you?
- Maurice, this is most peculiar.
205
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,479
What, what's peculiar?
206
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:05,312
That you've known Jack and me for three years
207
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:09,359
and you haven't noticed the absolutely
simple fact that I just can't stand him!
208
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,431
- You haven't? You're not joking?
- No.
209
00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,637
Maurice, that is just the most
extraordinary thing I've ever heard.
210
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:18,395
I thought you were sensitive and observant,
and you're supposed to be interested in me.
211
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,951
- I am interested in you.
- All right, let's do it.
212
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:26,510
- What?
- Whatever you want. Joyce, anything.
213
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,638
- Will you do something else for me?
- What?
214
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,358
You know the old graveyard
at the back of the church?
215
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,829
There's some buried treasure there.
216
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:44,276
- You mean in a coffin?
- Mm. It's a very old coffin,
217
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:48,273
Just a few bones and the treasure.
218
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:51,432
I want somebody to hold the torch
and help out generally,
219
00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,671
and you're the only woman I know
who isn't scared out of her wits...
220
00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:59,072
by unusual requests.
221
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:05,560
(Diana ) You're afraid, aren't you,
to do it on your own.
222
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,074
I'd like company.
223
00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:11,596
- At night?
- Think so. Don't you?
224
00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,309
People don't like seeing graves being dug up
just while they happen to be passing.
225
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:18,039
There's no curse on it
or anything like that, is there?
226
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:21,112
Good Lord, no, the fellow was just looking
for a safe place
227
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,156
to stow a few things, that's all.
228
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,919
- When?
- Tonight.
229
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,032
OK.
230
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,429
- The vicar's here.
- The vicar?
231
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:42,876
- Vicar.
- Ah, aha, there are wines in the back.
232
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,235
Fred, put those in the cellar, would you?
233
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:52,595
- Yes, Mr Allington.
- (Man ) Ah, Mr Allington.
234
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,477
- Yes?
- Tommy Sonnenschein,
235
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,118
- rector of the parish.
- Oh, hello.
236
00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,113
I'm doing the funeral tomorrow,
so I thought I'd call in and offer condolences.
237
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,156
Er, may I have a Bacardi and Coke?
238
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,276
Well, of course. Ice and lemon?
239
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,316
Ooh, yes, please.
240
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:10,997
I find people often welcome a little chat
at times like this
241
00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:14,675
to settle their minds
about the afterlife, and so on.
242
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,389
Not that I can offer much consolation
on that score, I'm afraid.
243
00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,869
Oh? Say when.
244
00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:23,272
That's fine.
245
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,590
Thanks. Are you going to have one?
246
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,514
- Yes, yes, a whisky.
- Good.
247
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,196
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
248
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:53,959
Frankly, immortality has been
pretty well done to death, don't you think?
249
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:56,349
- Well...
- Immortality was thought up
250
00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,954
by the Victorians
as part of their guilt thing.
251
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,919
Naturally, after they'd created the evils
of the Industrial Revolution,
252
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:07,357
they needed a form of new life,
away from the smoke and the stink
253
00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,192
and the starving kids.
254
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,636
Oh, by the way I'm so sorry
to hear about your father.
255
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:18,678
The time has come to put immortality
back into the junk room where it belongs,
256
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,320
along with the Gladstone bags
257
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,709
- and the muttonchop whiskers.
- Nuts?
258
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:26,920
Er, do you have any Twiglets?
259
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:31,039
- Fred, any Twiglets?
- Twiglets? Hold on a minute, guv'nor.
260
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:33,588
Quite frankly, the Jesus of the Gospels
261
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,399
can be a bit of a wet liberal at times.
262
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:39,552
Maurice, you went into Cambridge
without telling me.
263
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,596
Cambridge? Love it.
264
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:44,069
Lucy, this is the Reverend Sonnenschein,
who is a Christian
265
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,116
- who doesn't believe in the afterlife.
- Hello.
266
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,351
Did you get to see the diary?
Was it worth the pain of perusal?.
267
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,237
I'll say, yeah.
268
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,959
He used to conjure up spirits
269
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:57,589
for the delectation of prepubescent girls
270
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,477
and then he raped them.
271
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:03,678
- What kind of spirits?
- Carnally consorting couples,
272
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,637
amongst other things.
273
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:09,679
I'm doing some research on
the 17th-century cleric who lived in this house.
274
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,910
He thought he could make himself eternal.
275
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,719
And I shall imagine
he had a great disappointment in store.
276
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:18,236
Possibly. Though I saw him last night
in the dining room.
277
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,551
You did? Maurice, why didn't you tell me?
278
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,756
- Did you talk to him?
- Oh, yes.
279
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,638
- Did he talk to you?
- Indeed he did.
280
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,393
And this morning,
I found that he'd left a message for me
281
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,357
in the message book.
282
00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,829
- Where... Ah, message book.
- Twiglets.
283
00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:36,070
Twiglets! Twiglets.
284
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,470
Oh, thanks. Er, fascinating.
285
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,392
Well, I must rush.
286
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,677
I'll see you tomorrow, er, at the do.
287
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:51,198
I'm not a Christian, Lucy, but if I were,
I think I'd believe in the afterlife. Don't you?
288
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,635
- What did he write?
- Well...
289
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,757
it's my writing but his words.
290
00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:02,392
''Mr Allington, I'm still injaynious.''
What does that mean?
291
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:04,473
He's still alive.
292
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:15,553
We're in room five.
May we have the key, please?
293
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,110
I'm expecting a fax from Baltimore as well.
Thank you very much.
294
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,395
Didn't you just love the brass rubbings?
295
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:24,517
I loved it all.
I didn't know you could rub brass
296
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,830
without waking up a genie or something.
297
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,831
Of course you can, don't be silly!
298
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:31,150
(Mrs Klinger) Listen, tomorrow
we're gonna go to the museum.
299
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:48,789
(Maurice groans contentedly)
300
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,633
(Sighs )
301
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:41,676
(Fly buzzing)
302
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,910
(Sighs )
303
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,036
(Squeaking)
304
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:54,634
(Fluttering)
305
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,472
(Squeaking)
306
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,358
(Fluttering)
307
00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:01,396
(Maurice gasps )
308
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,319
- (Yells)
- (Squeaking)
309
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,278
Phew.
310
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:44,112
Ooh...
311
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:47,158
Oh...
312
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,230
(Yells) Oh...
313
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,357
(Squeaking)
314
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,630
I'm just going upstairs to get changed.
Would you look after the reception, Sharon?
315
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,199
Certainly.
316
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,233
What are you doing?
317
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,276
Maurice, come on now, what is it?
318
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,632
- I saw something.
- Come on now.
319
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:26,556
Close the door.
320
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,312
Come on, come on.
Come and sit down.
321
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,351
Hang on.
322
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,029
(Distant thunder)
323
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:02,308
(Jack) Have you had dreams like this before?
(Maurice ) It was not a dream.
324
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,949
Then I went in there for a bath and...
325
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,079
saw this...this bird flying around.
326
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,994
- Usual sort of bird?
- No.
327
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,797
Still sweating a lot?
328
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:39,077
- Not today.
- Had the shakes?
329
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:41,799
Not until this happened.
330
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,236
All right, now, Maurice.
(Clears throat) I...
331
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:50,189
I want you to understand
that anything you saw like this can't harm you.
332
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:52,714
I realise it can make you very frightened,
333
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:56,713
- but that's all it can do to you.
- What do you think it is?
334
00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:00,554
- (Distant thunder)
- Delirium tremens. We can treat it.
335
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,552
Well, what's brought it on?
336
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,313
Emotional strain. Plus drink.
337
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,671
Now listen to me, Maurice,
you need some time off.
338
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,516
David Palmer is a very competent lad,
339
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,238
- and Joyce can manage.
- Of course I can.
340
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,754
There's too much to do here. There's
my father's funeral tomorrow for one thing.
341
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:22,753
If it's what you say it is, well, can't you just
tide me over, give me some pills.
342
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:25,274
- I mean, there must be pills
- All right, all right.
343
00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:27,954
I'll send you something over from the surgery.
344
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,999
But let's begin by cutting down
on the source right away, yes?
345
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,548
I don't think I'll ever have another drink.
346
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,154
You can't stop suddenly.
That's a sure way to run into trouble.
347
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:40,038
In that case, I'd like a large Scotch, please.
348
00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,918
Cut your intake by 50% in the first instance.
No more.
349
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,039
And, er, take things as easily as you can.
350
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,950
I want you just to sit here for a while, all right?
351
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:58,596
Ah, Lucy, good.
352
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:03,155
Stay with him for a bit, will you?
And try and keep him calm.
353
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,195
Now, you learn your lesson, Maurice.
354
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:12,636
Herbal tea?
355
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,275
How are you, Maurice?
356
00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:21,797
He thinks all this came out of a bottle, Lucy,
but it didn't.
357
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,149
Dr Underhill's behind all this.
358
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,680
I'm gonna find out what he's up to.
359
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,718
I'm going to follow this through right to the end.
360
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:38,955
- All right, Lucy?
- Oh, God, Maurice. I don't know.
361
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:42,157
No, I'm afraid he still isn't back.
362
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,231
Here are the tablets you wanted.
Hello, Nick.
363
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:46,390
- What's the matter with Maurice?
- He's in trouble this time.
364
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:48,710
He ought to be in a nursing home.
There you are, Nick.
365
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:50,756
Make sure he takes three of them right away.
366
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,115
- With water not with Scotch, all right?
- OK, Jack.
367
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,156
- Night, Diana.
- Night.
368
00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,433
(Thunder)
369
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,593
- So, will he be all right for tonight?
- What's happening tonight?
370
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:08,478
He, er...has to see to the restaurant.
371
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:09,913
Oh.
372
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,673
Well, if Maurice has any sense,
he'll go to bed and stay there.
373
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,911
But the one thing we all know and love about
Maurice is that he doesn't have any sense.
374
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,956
So, who knows?
375
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:23,239
Anyway, I've got a match to finish
and another patient to see.
376
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,038
Will you be late?
377
00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:35,751
(Knocks on door)
378
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,478
Dad!
379
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,078
- Dad, you're supposed to be resting.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
380
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:42,957
( # Tears For Fears:: Sowing The Seeds Of Love )
381
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:44,996
Night.
382
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,031
- Look, Jack's given me these pills.
- Thank you.
383
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:51,872
Good evening, madam.
384
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,077
- Wash them down with water, Dad.
- Don't fuss, Nick.
385
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:59,358
(Anton shouting, indistinct)
386
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,550
(All shouting)
387
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,638
- Are you all right, Mr Allington?
- Why not?
388
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,870
Hey, Anton, these carrots are very good.
389
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,316
- Shouldn't you be in the dining room?
- Mrs Allington is doing it.
390
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:23,838
- She thought you weren't feeling well.
- I'm feeling terrific!
391
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:25,273
(Thud)
392
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,918
Oh!
393
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,956
(All shouting)
394
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,270
Will somebody clear these plates up?
395
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,909
(Lively chatter, Anton shouting in kitchen )
396
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,911
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
397
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:45,312
Sh, sh, sh.
Three cheers for our cox here.
398
00:29:45,400 --> 00:29:47,516
- Hip, hip...
- (All) Hooray!
399
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:49,158
- Hip, hip...
- Hooray!
400
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:51,800
- Hip, hip...
- Hooray! Well done, Cox.
401
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:55,190
- Are you ready to order?
- Do you have any nonalcoholic wines?
402
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,430
(All jeering)
403
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:00,751
- My husband doesn't believe in them.
- (Cheering)
404
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,637
(Cheering)
405
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,756
Joyce, could I see you in the office, please?
406
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,877
Would you excuse me a minute?
David, take table three's orders, will you?
407
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,155
Yes, Mrs Allington.
408
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,549
- (Chatter)
- Do you have any mineral water?
409
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,153
- Jack told you to rest.
- Well, I took some pills.
410
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:21,391
- I, er...I ran into Diana today.
- Where, in Cambridge?
411
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:24,074
No, no, no, at the post office.
She was looking really great.
412
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,390
Diana always looks great, she has the time to.
413
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:30,155
She was saying how...how dull
she finds the life here.
414
00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:33,789
- I'm not surprised. Are you?
- And she said that she hates Jack.
415
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,518
- Diana hates Jack?
- That's what she said.
416
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:38,068
You mean you didn't know?
I knew that the first time we met them.
417
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,549
- Why didn't you tell me?
- It wasn't worth mentioning.
418
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,916
I suppose that's very typical isn't it, Maurice?
You observe but you don't see.
419
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,150
Would you say that Diana got tight at all?.
420
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,595
- Hardly on your scale, darling.
- No, no, but at all.
421
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,800
I mean, what she was saying was
that, er, she thinks you're very sexy.
422
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:57,111
Ah, so you thought she was tight.
This is quite a conversation for the post office.
423
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:01,352
I ran her home. That's when I realised
it wasn't just compliments,
424
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,752
she, erm...she had something
particular in mind.
425
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,796
What in mind?
426
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:13,000
Well, she was saying how dull her life was
and how depressed she got
427
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:19,030
and what did I think about the idea
of the three of us...
428
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,554
(Mumbles )
429
00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:24,154
- ..having a little romp together.
- A little romp!
430
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:28,472
Yes, well, I thought it was a joke at first,
but it wasn't.
431
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:34,556
What she meant was that she thought
it would be nice if the three of us...
432
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:36,915
Yes, you are feeling better,
aren't you, Maurice?
433
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,514
- And what did you say?
- Well, I said that I'd...
434
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,795
I'd mention it to you.
435
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,599
So what do you think she meant?
That you'd, well...
436
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:49,231
see to her and then she and I would sort of
see to each other, until you felt like it again,
437
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,949
and then perhaps you could do me one way
and she could do me from another,
438
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,918
then perhaps we could do it all again,
only the other way around,
439
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:59,913
or else we could divide up different parts
of each other, that kind of thing?
440
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,070
- Something like that.
- All right.
441
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,071
- What?
- Let's do it.
442
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,118
I don't get such a lot of fun from you
as things are, do I, Maurice?
443
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:09,714
And it might take your mind
off all these ghosts.
444
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,358
Yeah, yeah, it might, yeah.
445
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:15,911
- So, er, should I arrange...?
- Yes, you arrange what you want.
446
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,833
I've got to arrange two gazpachos,
a parfait of chicken livers
447
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:20,478
and one croquette d'agneau.
448
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:23,235
By the way, we don't have
any nonalcoholic wines, do we?
449
00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:26,118
- Certainly not.
- Perhaps we should get some in.
450
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,793
(Squeaking)
451
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:42,590
( # All drunkenly humming
Memory by Andrew Lloyd Webber)
452
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,512
(Man ) Shut up, guys.
453
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,478
(Humming continues )
454
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,516
(Man ) That's disgusting.
455
00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:57,270
Come on, please.
456
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,116
Settle down, will you?
457
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:05,595
It's late and it's time to go home.
458
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:10,828
(All) Oooooh...
459
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:16,074
(All) # Time to go home,
time to go home... #
460
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,594
(Screaming and cheering)
461
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,755
(Bicycle bells ringing)
462
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,030
Hey, you lot, wait for me!
463
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,398
(Car horn beeps )
464
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,636
(Engine starts )
465
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,315
(Dog barking)
466
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,356
- Are you all right?
- Mm-hm.
467
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:22,678
(Maurice grunts )
468
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:24,716
I was worried about you.
469
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,916
- You look really great in that hat.
- Thank you.
470
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,956
(Maurice ) Mmm.
471
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,036
- All set?
- Yes.
472
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,994
Stop waving it about. You'll attract attention.
473
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,116
You're like a schoolboy, Maurice.
474
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,356
Feel like an usherette.
475
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:55,754
(Owl shrieking)
476
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:00,552
- Don't you feel scared, Maurice?
- Why should I?
477
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,200
You're really quite brave, aren't you?
478
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,236
- Where's the grave?
- At the back.
479
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,949
- Why did they put him there?
- Because he was a bad lad.
480
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:11,634
Maurice, do you really think
we ought to be doing this?
481
00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:16,157
Even if you're not a Christian, isn't there a basic
thing about not interfering with the dead?
482
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:18,196
But he was a bad lad.
483
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,596
Thomas Underhill.
484
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:29,472
Now, it may be rather boring for a bit.
485
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:32,074
I think you're mad. (Growls)
486
00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:43,676
(Clock ticking)
487
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,959
(Gasping)
488
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:03,591
I think I've struck the coffin.
489
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:08,389
Maurice, what are you gonna have
on your grave?
490
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,436
''Drunk but not forgotten''?
491
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,315
(Owl shrieking)
492
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:43,592
Shine the torch over here.
493
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,677
Oh, God.
494
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,035
You're not gonna make me
watch this bit, are you?
495
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:54,557
Keep your eyes closed, but keep the light
in the grave while I'm working.
496
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:22,108
(Clock ticking)
497
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:33,033
(Bell tolling)
498
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:34,917
(Ghostly voice whispering)
499
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:08,915
Is that it? The treasure?
500
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:13,437
I suppose so.
There's something inside.
501
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,796
Don't open it now.
Let's put all this stuff back.
502
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,438
You have some awful hobbies, Maurice.
503
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,629
- Well, how's that?
- Pretty dreadful.
504
00:38:45,720 --> 00:38:48,188
Well, it'll be all right.
Nobody comes around here anyway.
505
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,272
- Now, are you gonna open that box you found?
- What, now?
506
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,316
Maurice, I've just spent two horrible hours.
507
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:55,675
I think you might show me what's in the box.
508
00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,036
What is it?
509
00:39:26,120 --> 00:39:28,031
I don't know.
510
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,430
What an ugly little creature.
Is it a charm, or something?
511
00:39:33,440 --> 00:39:35,317
I don't know.
512
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:37,391
Looks rather pagan, doesn't it?
513
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,711
- Is it supposed to be valuable?
- We'll have to find out.
514
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,756
Where does Joyce think you are now?
515
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,400
Well, if she wakes up,
which she never does,
516
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,550
she'll assume I'm drinking downstairs.
517
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,949
Have you asked her
about our little get-together?
518
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:05,275
- Yes, she's all for it.
- Really?
519
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:09,990
Mmm. Whenever it suits us.
520
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:13,152
So how about tomorrow afternoon?
521
00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:15,913
It's your father's funeral, Maurice.
522
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,195
It'll be over by lunch.
523
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,114
Maurice, all this is making me feel
terribly randy.
524
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,672
Here?
525
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:30,230
- Now?
- Yes. Here, now.
526
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,835
- (Screams )
- Jesus Christ!
527
00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:35,353
(Creaking)
528
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,637
- Maurice, there's something watching us.
- What? Where?
529
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,676
- There's nothing there.
- It's up there.
530
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:42,512
- Can't you see it?
- No.
531
00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,556
Get me out of here!
532
00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,119
Wait.
533
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,791
(Bell tolling)
534
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,674
Man born of a woman
has but a short time to live.
535
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:10,196
Like a flower,
he blossoms and then withers.
536
00:41:10,280 --> 00:41:13,192
Like a shadow,
he flees and never stays.
537
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:17,596
In the midst of life, we are in death.
538
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,558
To whom can we turn for help
but to you, Lord,
539
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:23,837
who art justly angered by our sins?
540
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,639
Lord God, holy and mighty,
541
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:31,919
holy and immortal,
holy and most merciful saviour,
542
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,788
deliver us from the bitter pains
of eternal death.
543
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:40,874
You know the secrets of our hearts.
In your mercy, hear our prayer.
544
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:47,069
Forgive us our sins, and at our last hour
let us not fall away from you.
545
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:51,438
We have entrusted our brother
George John Allington
546
00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,750
to God's merciful keeping,
547
00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:56,513
and we now commit his body to the ground.
548
00:41:57,480 --> 00:42:03,874
Earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
549
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,794
in sure and certain hope
of the resurrection to eternal life,
550
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,030
through our Lord Jesus Christ,
551
00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:14,238
who died, was buried, and rose again for us.
552
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:19,194
(Chatter and laughter)
553
00:42:23,720 --> 00:42:26,632
It's not right to have a party
when we've just buried Gramps.
554
00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:30,269
That's what people do, Amy. It shows that life
has to go on even though someone's just died.
555
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,989
Now, you go and eat something,
you look a little pale. Go on.
556
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:37,798
Was yours a red wine, sir?
There you are.
557
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:40,110
Now, come on,
eat some of that food now.
558
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:42,236
Marvellous spread.
I should come here more often.
559
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,276
- Are you all right, Maurice?
- Fine, fine.
560
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,476
Gramps is still with us, you know,
I can feel him.
561
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,630
- Lucy. Do you want a hand, Dad?
- No, no, keeps me occupied.
562
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:51,951
- Were you white? Or red, I think.
- Red, thank you.
563
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:53,678
Anything to drink, Vicar?
564
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:56,797
Do call me Tommy, please.
Actually, I mustn't get too pissed,
565
00:42:56,880 --> 00:43:00,077
I'm off to a rather exciting barbecue
at Newnham this afternoon.
566
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,276
Erm...Just a Bacardi and Pernod, please.
567
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,635
David, Bacardi and Pernod.
Do you want anything in that?
568
00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:06,438
- Sorry?
- Coke, or anything?
569
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,272
Oh, good God, no, just ice.
570
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:10,351
- And a water for me, please.
- Water, Mr Allington?
571
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,715
Yes, just water with some bubbles.
572
00:43:13,720 --> 00:43:17,793
Er, I must say, Vicar, I did find
the burial service rather moving.
573
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:19,757
Mm, not bad considering when it was written.
574
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:24,118
What, a bit too out of line
with current thinking, perhaps?
575
00:43:36,240 --> 00:43:40,074
- Er, white wine, madam? And yours is there.
- Thank you.
576
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:44,597
Let's face it, it is possible to take
the end of the road a bloody sight too seriously.
577
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,240
Particularly as it's only a part of God's purpose.
578
00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:48,673
God's purpose?
579
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:53,117
I tell you, there's more fantasy-making around
God's purpose than in any other belief area.
580
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,475
- Bacardi and Pernod, Vicar?
- Oh, thank you.
581
00:43:55,560 --> 00:43:57,516
- Your water, Mr Allington.
- Thank you, David.
582
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:02,958
Mmm. Hits the spot beautifully.
583
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:05,508
No. That's the trouble with religion -
584
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:07,591
it encourages fantasy.
585
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,990
The fact is that death is just
one more part of life.
586
00:44:11,080 --> 00:44:14,117
We settle for it
by the mere act of being born.
587
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,192
What would you say
if I told you that I had evidence
588
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:21,558
of an individual
who survived death in some form?
589
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:25,599
I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't deal
with the paranormal. I'm a priest.
590
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,438
Your wine, ladies.
591
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,637
Mr Sonnenschein has just been explaining
God's purpose to me.
592
00:44:31,720 --> 00:44:36,589
Well, that sort of thing is bound to
come up occasionally in my line of work.
593
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,309
- Mrs Allington.
- What is God's purpose?
594
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:47,112
Well, I'd say that God's purpose for us
is to fight greed and injustice
595
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,156
and oppression wherever we find them.
596
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:51,470
But that's politics, that isn't religion.
597
00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:53,994
To me, it's religion in the truest sense.
598
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:58,312
Of course, I could be wrong.
It isn't my job to tell people what to think.
599
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,312
But you're a priest,
you're paid to tell people what to think.
600
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:05,598
I'm sorry, but to me that's rather an
old-fashioned definition of a priest's purpose.
601
00:45:05,680 --> 00:45:08,274
Mr Sonnenschein, don't you think
that the more liberated
602
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,635
and forward-looking
and progressive people become,
603
00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:13,712
the more it's your job
to be just a little bit old-fashioned?
604
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,360
- Well, I...
- Excuse me, Vicar.
605
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,234
- Maurice, we want to talk to you.
- Oh?
606
00:45:21,320 --> 00:45:23,914
We thought four this afternoon
would be a good time.
607
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,911
- A good time?
- For our good time.
608
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,877
- Maurice, you've not forgotten?
- Oh, oh, you mean...
609
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,520
- We thought guest room eight right at the end.
- Right.
610
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,319
You'd better put a booking in the register.
We don't want to be disturbed.
611
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,710
- Right.
- Mr and Mrs...and Mrs Smith.
612
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,392
Right.
613
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,712
(Ghostly voice whispering)
614
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,355
(Whispering continues )
615
00:46:55,200 --> 00:47:00,354
Sprouts, cabbages, garden peas,
they each have a different karma.
616
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,829
I'm not sure
about pickled gherkins though.
617
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,070
- Lucy! Come with me!
- What?
618
00:47:08,400 --> 00:47:10,277
Maurice!
619
00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,316
I want you to see this.
620
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:17,717
''I will await thee in my parlour
at twelve of the clock,
621
00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,598
''the night following thy discovery.
622
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:26,437
''See thou art alone
and have our small friend of silver with thee.''
623
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,637
- Where did this come from?
- It came from Dr Underhill.
624
00:47:29,720 --> 00:47:31,676
it wasn't in the computer last night.
625
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:36,799
- What's the silver friend?
- This.
626
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:41,678
- Where did that come from?
- His grave.
627
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,111
- He wants to meet you.
- I know.
628
00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:53,359
- This is getting dangerous.
- I know.
629
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,189
- (Bell dings )
- Well, I must be making tracks
630
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:01,273
off to the Newnham barbecue.
A priest's work is never done. (Chuckles )
631
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,396
Well, see you sometime.
632
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:09,558
Maybe even in church! (Chuckles )
49612