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1
00:00:06,632 --> 00:00:12,234
Fluffy! Fluffy!
2
00:00:14,418 --> 00:00:17,613
"�mi pare r�u pentru ce am zis
c�nd mi-era foame"
3
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,807
S� v� aud cum face�i g�l�gie pentru
4
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:29,198
Gabriel Iglesias!
5
00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:56,110
Traducere
PREL GHENCEA
6
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,975
Chicago!
7
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:15,384
Era �i timpul pentru un
"special" aici.
8
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:22,924
�nainte de toate, aplauze
pentru prietenul meu,
9
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,500
omul, mitul, legenda.
10
00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:29,005
S� v� aud, pentru Martin!
11
00:01:35,053 --> 00:01:38,433
Cei doi tipi care stau l�ng� el
sunt doi prieteni vechi.
12
00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:40,805
�i nu numai prieteni,
lucreaz� pentru mine.
13
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:43,732
Sunt Ivan �i Tony.
Da�i-le dragostea voastr�!
14
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,652
�n plus, at�t de special...
15
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:51,454
Doamnelor �i domnilor, tocmai
mi-a dat microfonul,
16
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:55,408
antrenorul anului din NFL
17
00:01:57,034 --> 00:02:02,374
�i un fost membru al celei
mai tari echipe de fotbal...
18
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,669
care a intrat vreodat�
pe teren,
19
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:08,591
1985 Chicago Bears.
20
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:12,883
Antrenorul Ron Rivera!
21
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,354
Mul�umesc.
22
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:27,234
Trebuie s-o fac.
23
00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:29,901
"Da Bears!"
24
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,776
Sunt foarte bucuros,
sta�i s� v� spun.
25
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:42,366
E al 19-lea an c�nd venim
�n Chicago, da?
26
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,418
Prima dat� c�nd am venit,
am �nt�lnit ni�te oameni,
27
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,423
care mi-au zis: "Gabriel, ai mai
fost �n Chicago?"
28
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,716
"Nu, e prima dat�."
29
00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:57,049
"Am vrea s� te ducem s�
m�n�nci ceva bun, dac� e ok."
30
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,715
Eu am f�cut...
31
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,465
"E foarte ok."
32
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:06,522
�i m-au dus la un restaurant
numit Portillo's.
33
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,034
A�i auzit de el?
34
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,736
Am ajuns acolo �i
a fost foarte bine.
35
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:21,986
Hot-dog-ii au fost delicio�i.
36
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:24,117
Salata cu pui, minunat�.
37
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,124
Friptur� de vit�, super.
38
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:29,577
�i p�n� s� termin�m masa,
39
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:31,748
noii mei prieteni zic:
40
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:35,337
"Am vrea s� �ncerci ceva ce
n-ai mai �ncercat p�n� acum."
41
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:37,974
Eu zic: "Pu�in probabil."
42
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,755
"Ce vre�i s� �ncerc?"
43
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:48,187
"Au aici ceva ce se cheam�
shake de tort de ciocolat�."
44
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,280
"�mi da�i ciocolat�?"
45
00:03:57,112 --> 00:04:00,412
"Trebuie s� te duci la vitrin�
�i s� comanzi la doamna aceea."
46
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:04,620
M� ridic, m� duc la doamna care
�mi zice: "Cu ce v� ajut?"
47
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:06,373
"Prietenii mei �mi spun"
48
00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:10,125
"s� �ncerc acest shake de
tort de ciocolat�."
49
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,424
"Bine, c�t de mare por�ia?"
50
00:04:12,711 --> 00:04:14,961
"C�t de bun e?"
"Deci mare."
51
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,553
"Bun, deci o por�ie mare
de shake de tort de ciocolat�."
52
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:22,764
"Imediat."
Am pl�tit �i se �ntoarce.
53
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:27,556
S-a dus la un frigider de
l�ng� tejghea.
54
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:32,942
�l deschide �i scoate
o felie de tort de ciocolat�.
55
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,823
Mi-am zis: "Nu cred c� a
�n�eles ce am cerut."
56
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,202
N-am cerut o felie de tort.
57
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,569
Am cerut shake de tort.
58
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:46,544
Cred c� a auzit ce g�ndeam, c�
a zis c�nd a trecut pe l�ng� mine,
59
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,328
"O s� se-nt�mple."
60
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,505
Se duce la blender, ia capacul
61
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:59,759
se uit� la mine �i face a�a.
62
00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,183
Eu am f�cut..."Nu!"
63
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,558
Ea face: "O, da!"
64
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:17,614
Toarn� �i-mi d� un shake
de 1 litru...
65
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,355
ceea ce e mult peste c�t
ar trebui cineva s� bea.
66
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:26,275
Paiul era at�t de gros c�
puteai s� bagi degetul �n el.
67
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:31,207
Am luat shake-ul �i am
�ncercat s�-l beau.
68
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,875
�i vedeam cum urc� shake-ul.
69
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,223
C�nd am ajuns la el, deodat�...
70
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,977
Voi ave�i p�n� �i
rulote cu taco.
71
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,942
Pentru cine nu �tie despre
rulotele cu taco,
72
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,861
s� v� spun.
73
00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,360
E m�ncare mexican� foarte bun�,
nu vreau s� v� face�i griji,
74
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:03,573
"Nu, chiar sunt ro�i
sub restaurantul �la."
75
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,664
Uneori nu avem permis, da?
76
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:10,037
Dar nu �nseamn� c� m�ncarea
nu e gustoas�.
77
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:14,830
Ca s� �tiu dac� o s� m�
simt bine la o rulot� cu taco,
78
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:15,876
cercetez �nainte.
79
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,876
M� uit s� v�d cine conduce
rulota.
80
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,052
S� fiu sigur c� o s� fie bine,
81
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:25,431
vreau s� m� asigur c� echipa
e f�cut� numai din femei.
82
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:30,465
Nu e ceva sexist, dar c�nd sunt
numai femei,
83
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,477
m� fac s� m� simt bine.
84
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:34,389
M� fac s� m� simt special.
85
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,807
C�nd m� duc la 1 diminea�a,
euforic,
86
00:06:37,897 --> 00:06:39,357
m� fac s� m� simt bine.
87
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,490
�i vin la geam.
88
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:45,950
"Hola, mi gordito. Como estas?"
89
00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,115
"Como esta ese gordito chulito?"
90
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,870
"Ese gordito. Que bonito."
91
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:54,462
"A ver. A ver. Ojitos. Ojitos."
92
00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:00,341
M� simt ca un copil.
Le zic: "�mi da�i un taco?"
93
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,548
"Orice dore�ti, mi hijito.
Un taquito pentru tine."
94
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:09,801
C�nd sunt numai b�rba�i
mexicani la rulot�,
95
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,933
e t�rziu, sunt obosi�i, sunt acri.
96
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:17,937
Rela�ia cu clien�ii nu e punctul
nostru forte la 1 diminea�a.
97
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,111
�i mai ai de-a face cu un
idiot beat ca mine.
98
00:07:25,631 --> 00:07:26,736
�i vin la geam.
99
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:30,621
"Que chingados quieres, pinche gordo?
Ce vrei? Ce vrei?"
100
00:07:31,701 --> 00:07:34,081
"Salut, frate! �mi dai un taco?"
101
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,118
"Bine, altceva?"
102
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,446
"At�t."
103
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,993
Nici m�car nu e un cuv�nt!
104
00:07:45,193 --> 00:07:47,466
Dar �tii exact ce �i-a spus.
105
00:07:48,593 --> 00:07:52,143
Mexicanii, �i numai mexicanii,
106
00:07:52,222 --> 00:07:54,852
au sunetul �sta
pe care �l scoatem
107
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:58,733
�i care discrediteaz� orice.
108
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:02,232
Orice ar fi, �l omor�m
cu sunetul �sta.
109
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,685
"Tocmai am absolvit facultatea,
primul din clas�."
110
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,240
"Bine, o s� m� angajez
la Burger King."
111
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:18,163
"Papi, el e logodnicul meu.
M� iube�te."
112
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:22,495
"Bine, o s� fiu o t�rf�."
113
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,644
Apropo de t�rfe, s� v�
spun unde ne-au cazat.
114
00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:36,263
E schimbare cam
ur�t� de subiect.
115
00:08:36,463 --> 00:08:38,602
Nu, nu sunt t�rfe
�n hotelul �sta. Fi�i aten�i.
116
00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,227
Vreau s� le mul�umesc personal
promoterilor
117
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:44,652
nu doar c� au organizat acest
show, dar �i c� au avut grij� de noi.
118
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,033
Ne-au cazat �ntr-un hotel
chiar vizavi.
119
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:51,030
�i �tii c� te afli �ntr-un
hotel luxos
120
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,414
pentru c� liftul ��i vorbe�te.
121
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,488
Unu' de-�la.
122
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:58,658
Etajul 1.
123
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,752
Etajul 2.
124
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:03,753
Etajul 3.
125
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,995
Zic: "Mam�, ce voce sexy are."
126
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:11,718
Etajul 4...
127
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,473
Etajul 5...
128
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:21,556
Martin m� �ntreab�: "P�n� unde urci?"
"P�n� la cap�t!"
129
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,444
Vreau s� v�d cum
se termin�.
130
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,573
Apropo, de c�nd am fost
ultima dat� aici,
131
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,525
s-au schimbat c�teva
lucruri �n via�a mea.
132
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,276
Unele at�t de nebune�ti
133
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,577
�nc�t nu credeam c�
ar fi posibile.
134
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:46,342
Primul lucru, am avut parte de
prima mea �tire fals� cu moartea.
135
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:52,045
Cineva mi-a �nscenat moartea
pe internet �i s-a r�sp�ndit.
136
00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:55,221
Cineva a scris un articol
137
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:58,353
care a fost citit de peste
30 de milioane de oameni.
138
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,141
�i care a fost at�t de bun �nc�t �i
eu am zis: "Doamne, ce dr�gu� am fost!"
139
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,688
TMZ l-a publicat 30 minute,
140
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:11,605
p�n� ce l-au sunat pe agentul meu
care le-a confirmat c� tr�iesc.
141
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:16,494
Artiolul spunea c� am
murit pe 31 octombrie
142
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:19,624
de la complica�ii ale
diabetului de tip II.
143
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,332
�i m-am g�ndit,
144
00:10:21,412 --> 00:10:23,792
"Aiurea zi ca s� omori un diabetic!"
145
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,378
�n�elege�i? E ca �i cum l-ai omor�
pe Mo� Cr�ciun �n ajunul Cr�ciunului.
146
00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,965
30 milioane de oameni
au citit articolul.
147
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,617
Nimeni nu s-a g�ndit
s� m� sune.
148
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:37,886
Cu excep�ia lui Martin.
149
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,471
Exact.
150
00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:45,936
Martin a fost singurul
care m-a sunat.
151
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:49,820
�i asta ca s� verifice dac�
�nc� mai are slujb�.
152
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,527
M-a sunat.
153
00:10:55,613 --> 00:11:00,472
"Alo?"
"Salut, e�ti mort?"
154
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,709
"Nu, omule, sunt bine."
155
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,456
"M� g�ndeam eu.
Mi-ai fi trimis sms."
156
00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:10,711
�i a�a a� face, c� astfel
de prieten sunt.
157
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,585
L-am �ntrebat �i pe fii-miu, Frankie.
"Frankie, ai auzit c� am murit?"
158
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,501
"Deci despre asta vorbeau."
159
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,681
"Cum adic� despre asta vorbeau?"
160
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,250
"Prietenii mei m-au �ntrebat
dac� e�ti bine."
161
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,605
"�i ce le-ai spus?"
"C� nu te-am v�zut."
162
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:31,724
"Deci se pare c� am murit."
"Bine ai venit �napoi!"
163
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,109
Alt lucru care s-a schimbat.
164
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:41,076
Fiul meu, Frankie, a f�cut 18 ani.
165
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,330
�i mai are o s�pt�m�n�
p�n� la absolvire.
166
00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,214
Voi aplauda�i,
dar el nu pleac�.
167
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,296
L-am �ntrebat: "Frankie,
ce vrei s� faci �n via��?"
168
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,224
"Te-ai g�ndit la facultate?"
"Chiar acum."
169
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:07,562
"Frankie, s� �tii c� tot ce ai de
f�cut e s� te accepte undeva."
170
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:12,154
"Spun multe glume. ��i pl�tesc
toat� durata �colii"
171
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:15,072
"indiferent unde te-ai duce."
172
00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:21,122
"Doar s� te accepte.
Ce p�rere ai?"
173
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:26,408
"Vrei s� te duci �n California,
se face."
174
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,866
"Vrei s� te duci �n alt stat,
se rezolv�."
175
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:32,707
"La dracu', m� bag �i �ntr-un
program de-�la interna�ional."
176
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:34,884
Din �la unde ��i dai copilul cuiva
177
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,265
�i prime�ti copilul altcuiva.
178
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,640
- Cum se nume�te?
- Schimb.
179
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,848
Mul�umesc. Scuze.
A�a e, schimb.
180
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:45,219
Unii spun, "se nume�te
trafic de fiin�e umane."
181
00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:50,896
E alt program �la.
182
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,858
Mi-ar pl�cea s� particip
la un program de-�sta cu fii-miu.
183
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,532
Dar nu-mi da�i un copil obi�nuit.
184
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,650
Dac� intru �ntr-un
program din �sta,
185
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:03,697
da�i-mi un copil din
lumea a treia,
186
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:09,623
ca s� aprecieze lucrurile de baz�
pe care un american le ia de-a gata.
187
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:19,094
De-aia am zis,
da�i-mi un mic Tombutu.
188
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:24,224
Da�i-mi un Tombutu. Mi-ar pl�cea
Tombutu �i Tombutu m-ar iubi.
189
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,969
"Dle Fluffy?"
"Da, Tombutu."
190
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,937
"La ce or� mergem la culcare?"
191
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:34,059
"Te culci c�nd vrei.
Asta e camera ta."
192
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,067
"Noi dormim al�turi."
193
00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:42,283
"Toat� asta e pentru Tombutu?"
194
00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,744
"Da, toat� e pentru Tombutu."
195
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:49,544
"La mine �n sat, 2 familii
dorm �ntr-un spa�iu ca �sta."
196
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:53,210
"�n America, un fund gras de
copil mexican doarme chiar aici."
197
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,187
"Distrac�ie pl�cut�."
198
00:13:56,419 --> 00:14:00,259
Apoi l-a� duce la IHOP sau Denny's
s� comande ce vrea
199
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:02,549
�i s�-l v�d cum reac�ioneaz�.
200
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:06,893
"Asta e Thanksgiving de care
tot am auzit. Mul�umesc, dle Fluffy!"
201
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:10,851
"Dac� poate Tombutu s� fac� ceva
pentru tine, spune-mi, orice."
202
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,563
"M� aju�i s� duc gunoiul?"
203
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:15,193
"Pentru tine, �l m�n�nc."
204
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,744
�ntre timp, fii-miu pe
partea cealalt� a globului
205
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:25,614
c�lare pe un elefant,
�ncearc� s� g�seasc� Wi-Fi.
206
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,332
�l iubesc mult pe fii-miu.
207
00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:34,872
Dar uneori, nu-�i d� seama
de situa�ia �n care e.
208
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,077
Nu realizeaz�.
209
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:39,127
De-aia �mi place c�nd aduce
prieteni acas�.
210
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,842
Aduce prieteni acas�,
211
00:14:40,922 --> 00:14:43,722
iar ei spun exact
ceea ce spun �i eu.
212
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:47,176
�i ca p�rinte, de c�te ori �i
spui ceva copilului, e una.
213
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,767
Dar c�nd prietenii lui spun ce
spui tu, e de nepre�uit.
214
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:54,394
"Frankie, e�ti norocos, frate."
215
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,227
"Taic�-tu te ajut� s�
faci facultatea."
216
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,902
"Tata vrea s� m� angajez."
217
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,400
"Frankie, e�ti norocos, frate.
Taic�-tu vrea s�-�i ia ma�in�."
218
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,243
"Tata n-are �ncredere �n mine
nici c�nd merg pe jos."
219
00:15:02,318 --> 00:15:04,303
"E�ti norocos, omule."
220
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:08,202
�i c�nd aud asta, zic,
"�i iubesc pe copiii �tia!"
221
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:14,120
Pentru c� fii-miu e cam
indiferent la situa�ia asta.
222
00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:18,285
Indiferent la voi, la "Fluffy".
223
00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:23,545
Nu m� vede ca Fluffy.
Pentru el sunt "Tati!"
224
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,931
Eu sunt cel care-i spune
s�-�i fac� ordine �n camer�,
225
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:27,588
s� fac� du�, s�-�i dea cu spray,
226
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:30,217
ceea ce acum o face.
227
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:38,984
Dar voi �ti�i ce a trebuit s� fac
pentru asta.
228
00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:43,481
Prietenii lui, �ns�, sunt foarte
entuziasma�i c�nd m� v�d.
229
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,858
Cad pe spate.
230
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,454
Intru �n camer�,
ei sunt acolo.
231
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,530
Frankie m� vede.
"Salut, tat�!"
232
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:52,655
Prietenii lui c�nd m� v�d,
v�d asta.
233
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:05,382
Cu ni�te porumbei albi �n jur.
234
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,836
V� da�i seama cum e asta
de fiecare dat� c�nd intru?
235
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,217
"A venit!"
236
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:24,900
Doamnelor, v� imagina�i cum ar fi s�
v� fac� partenerul vostru asta?
237
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:28,114
E aniversarea voastr�, o s�rb�toare,
un moment magic,
238
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:30,196
sau pur �i simplu sta�i
�ntinse �i sunte�i bete.
239
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:35,745
�i-i spune�i: "Ce-o s�-mi faci?"
240
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:48,051
Un porumbel bonus.
241
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:59,557
�i apropo, b�ie�i, dac� reu�i�i
impresia cu porumbeii,
242
00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:01,274
l�sa�i-o a�a.
243
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,694
Nu �ncerca�i s� plusa�i, e foarte
greu s� mai plusa�i porumbeii.
244
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,494
Nu �ncerca�i s� plusa�i cu porc�rii.
245
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,198
Ea st� �ntins� acolo,
nu �ncepe�i:
246
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,568
"Nu �tii ce te a�teapt�,
stai s� vezi ce p��e�ti."
247
00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:16,169
Nu face�i de-astea, c�ci, doamnelor,
doar trebuie s� v� uita�i la ei
248
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:18,561
�i s� face�i...
249
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,799
�napoi la prietenii lui fii-miu acum...
250
00:17:27,999 --> 00:17:30,880
Are 2 prieteni care vin
mereu la noi.
251
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,467
Unul, pe care-l cheam� Ken,
priceput la calculatoare.
252
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:37,564
Cel�lalt, Fabian, vrea s� se
fac� poli�ist.
253
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,810
Am�ndoi copiii de treab�.
254
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:43,312
Le spun copii, de�i au 18 ani.
255
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,516
Pentru mine sunt copii,
eu am aproape 40...
256
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:50,277
Unele discu�ii cu ei
sunt foarte serioase.
257
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:53,821
Altele sunt de genul:
"Ce fac cu via�a mea?"
258
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:57,703
De exemplu, c�nd stau pe acas�,
259
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:00,785
de obicei sunt �mbr�cat ca acum,
mai pu�in c�ma�a hawaiian�.
260
00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:05,001
De obicei port tricouri cu
Star Wars sau Marvel Comics
261
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,464
sau Transformers.
262
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:11,665
Desene animate.
Asta �mi place s� port acas�.
263
00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,387
�ntr-o zi, aveam un tricou
cu The Avengers.
264
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,676
�i intru �n camer�,
265
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,564
�i m� vede Fabian cu tricoul.
266
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:24,152
�i �ncepe s� arate.
�l �ntreb: "Care e faza?"
267
00:18:24,228 --> 00:18:26,728
"Slabi."
268
00:18:27,898 --> 00:18:28,728
"Pardon?"
269
00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:30,146
"Slabi."
270
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:33,512
�i zice: "DC sunt mai buni."
271
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:35,196
"Ce-ai zis?"
272
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:36,451
"DC sunt mai buni."
273
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:40,332
"DC (Washington) e ok,
Obama tr�ie�te acolo, se fac legi."
274
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:42,201
"Au hoteluri, muzee."
275
00:18:42,288 --> 00:18:44,708
"Nici m�car nu e un stat,
nu �n�eleg de ce crezi asta."
276
00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,750
"Nu, fraiere, DC Comics!"
277
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,214
"Omule, am aproape 40 de ani,
nu-mi pas�."
278
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:53,835
"E doar un tricou, �mi place,
�mi vine... Ce mare lucru?"
279
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,844
"Pentru c� sunt mai buni."
"E cazul s� te calmezi."
280
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,671
"Sunt cei mai buni."
"Lini�te�te-te."
281
00:18:57,871 --> 00:19:01,345
�n mintea mea: "De ce am
discu�ia asta oare?"
282
00:19:01,545 --> 00:19:02,925
Am lucruri mai bune
de f�cut,
283
00:19:03,017 --> 00:19:05,597
cum ar fi s�-l urc pe fii-miu
pe un elefant, dar nu.
284
00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:08,502
Copilul din mine zice:
"De ce sunt mai buni?"
285
00:19:08,502 --> 00:19:10,210
�i �ncepe s� arate iar
spre tricou.
286
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,605
"Iron Man e na�pa,
Batman e num�rul 1."
287
00:19:12,805 --> 00:19:15,058
Eu zic: "De ce?"
288
00:19:15,058 --> 00:19:16,815
"Pentru c� este!",
"�sta nu e un argument."
289
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,946
"Mai �nt�i c� Batman nu e
cel mai tare super-erou."
290
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,123
"�mi pare r�u c� te dezam�gesc,
dar nu e."
291
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,208
Unii se preg�tesc s� huiduie.
292
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:27,828
"Nu, Fluffy, nu te b�ga,
nu deschide subiectul �sta!"
293
00:19:27,917 --> 00:19:29,497
Ba da, m� bag, fi�i aten�i.
294
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:33,665
Batman nu e cel mai bun,
e cel mai ciudat super-erou.
295
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:39,097
Batman e cel mai ciudat super-erou
care a existat vreodat�.
296
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,008
Chiar �i vorbe�te ciudat.
297
00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:43,217
"Sunt Batman!"
298
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:46,636
Nu recunoa�te�i vocea?
299
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,687
"Vrei ni�te bomboane?"
300
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:52,570
"Ajut�-m� s�-mi g�sesc c��elu�ul!"
301
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:57,203
Iese numai noaptea,
are fa�a mereu acoperit�.
302
00:19:57,279 --> 00:20:00,119
P�nde�te mereu pe alei.
�i cu cine vorbe�te?
303
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:03,039
Cu Joker, cu Ghicitoare.
�i-l cheam� Batman.
304
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,199
Joker, Ghicitoare, Batman.
305
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,577
Astea sunt nume de
bandi�i mexicani.
306
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,416
V� imagina�i care ar fi
adev�ratul Batman?
307
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:16,915
Noaptea: "Sunt Batman!"
308
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,087
�n timpul zilei...
309
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:25,638
"Sunt Batman."
310
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,939
"Bine, Fabian, Batman e cel
mai bun."
311
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:33,150
"Tricoul meu spune Marvel Comics."
312
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:37,322
"E Thor, e C�pitanul America,
e Omul de Fier."
313
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:40,613
"Cine sunt super-eroii
lui DC Comics"
314
00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:43,517
"care sunt mai buni dec�t
cei ai lui Marvel? Zi!"
315
00:20:43,517 --> 00:20:45,204
"Batman."
"L-ai zis deja."
316
00:20:45,204 --> 00:20:47,165
"Superman."
"�sta e bun."
317
00:20:47,365 --> 00:20:48,624
"Wonder Woman."
"Bun."
318
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,786
"Lanterna verde."
319
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:57,048
"�i �tiu pe ceilal�i,
dar Lanterna verde?"
320
00:20:57,882 --> 00:20:59,342
"Care e puterea lui?"
321
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:02,545
"Are un inel care �i d� putere."
322
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:03,846
"Asta e o iluzie."
323
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:07,219
"Nu �tiu nici un b�rbat
cu inel, care are putere."
324
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,943
�i dac� nu aplauda�i,
�mi da�i dreptate.
325
00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,284
Nu pute�i s� aplauda�i, nu?
Nu pute�i.
326
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:24,865
�i �ti�i de ce?
327
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,973
Pentru c� sta�i l�ng� Kriptonite.
328
00:21:36,086 --> 00:21:38,416
El nu aplaud�.
Zice "Nu, nu..."
329
00:21:39,632 --> 00:21:41,682
"M� vede Wonder Woman.
Nu, nu..."
330
00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:47,810
Fi�i aten�i, nu v� mint.
331
00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:52,100
C�teodat� m� simt pu�in,
332
00:21:52,186 --> 00:21:53,846
numai pu�in ca un super-erou,
333
00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:57,648
adic� vin �n fa�a unui
grup mare de oameni,
334
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:00,153
le schimb starea de spirit,
�i fac s� z�mbeasc�,
335
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:02,776
�i fac s� r�d�,
s� se simt� mai bine.
336
00:22:07,201 --> 00:22:10,701
Dar, ca orice super-erou,
am �i eu sl�biciunile mele.
337
00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:13,248
Vin aici �i v� �nveselesc.
338
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,882
Apoi m� duc acas�.
339
00:22:16,085 --> 00:22:17,875
�i enervez o singur� persoan�.
340
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,505
Pentru c� ea nu vrea s� aud�
despre asta, despre voi.
341
00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:26,261
Nu pot s� m� laud acas�:
"Iubito, a fost nebunie �n Chicago!"
342
00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:28,940
"Bravo �ie, du gunoiul!"
343
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,982
"Dar m-au aplaudat �i
mi-au scandat numele!"
344
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,810
"Crezi c� te ajut� asta? Bine."
345
00:22:34,895 --> 00:22:37,765
"Du gunoiul! Du gunoiul!"
346
00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,368
"Dar mi-au spus c� m� iubesc!"
347
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:15,809
Fluffy! Fluffy! Fluffy!
348
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,483
Doamne!
349
00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:29,530
V� da�i seama c�t de greu
va fi acum
350
00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:31,447
s� m� duc acas� �i
s� duc gunoiul?
351
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:35,123
V� mul�umesc!
352
00:23:35,205 --> 00:23:37,365
E extraordinar!
353
00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,668
�i aud pe c��iva dintre voi.
Sunte�i bine acolo?
354
00:23:41,464 --> 00:23:42,762
�sta e un compliment, apropo.
355
00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:47,508
De c�te ori aud lumea
�n sal� f�c�nd...
356
00:23:47,593 --> 00:23:50,683
�tiu c� v� fac s� r�de�i at�t
de mult,
357
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,733
�nc�t propriul vostru corp respinge
activitatea la care participa�i.
358
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:56,894
Pl�m�nii vo�tri v� spun
359
00:23:56,977 --> 00:23:59,477
"Nu e bine pentru tine,
trebuie s� pleci."
360
00:23:59,563 --> 00:24:02,573
Dar sunte�i �nc�p���na�i, spune�i:
"Nu! Biletul a fost scump!"
361
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:06,899
De obicei asta spun b�rba�ii.
362
00:24:06,987 --> 00:24:08,817
La femei e pu�in diferit.
363
00:24:08,906 --> 00:24:14,406
Femeile c�nd r�d prea mult,
�ncep s� horc�ie.
364
00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:19,418
Deja r�de�i. Atunci �tiu c� v-am
f�cut s� r�de�i at�t de tare,
365
00:24:19,500 --> 00:24:23,380
c� inhala�i �i expira�i
�n acela�i timp,
366
00:24:23,462 --> 00:24:25,672
f�c�ndu-v� s� face�i...
367
00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:29,763
�i dac� aud o femeie c�
face a�a de 2 ori,
368
00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:32,553
asta �nseamn� c� a�i
�i f�cut pu�in pipi.
369
00:24:42,356 --> 00:24:44,316
Mi-a pl�cut asta.
Ar�tai spre ea mereu.
370
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,150
Ea zicea: "Tic�losule!"
371
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,918
Mul�umesc c� m-ai sus�inut.
372
00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:52,831
Alt lucru pe care �l
consider compliment
373
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,788
e c�, din c�nd �n c�nd,
374
00:24:54,868 --> 00:24:59,248
sunt oameni care vin pentru
prima dat� la un show de comedie,
375
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:03,881
�i nu sunt obi�nui�i
s� r�d� mult timp.
376
00:25:04,628 --> 00:25:09,886
�i sunt at�t de entuziasma�i �i
implica�i �n show �nc�t uit�.
377
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:13,045
Uit� s� fac� un lucru de baz�.
378
00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:14,927
S� respire!
379
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:19,686
A�i fi uimi�i s� �ti�i de c�te ori
am v�zut asta �n primele r�nduri.
380
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,227
�i le�in� de tot.
381
00:25:26,942 --> 00:25:30,452
Partea aiurea e c� doar
eu v�d ce se-nt�mpl�.
382
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:33,868
�i aud: "Fluffy, f� ceva! F� ceva!""
383
00:25:45,544 --> 00:25:47,254
"κi revine. Mul�umesc!"
384
00:25:50,966 --> 00:25:52,426
A fost o doamn� odat�...
385
00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:54,683
sus la balcon...
386
00:25:55,137 --> 00:25:57,467
care a r�s p�n� a le�inat.
387
00:25:58,223 --> 00:25:59,563
A c�zut �n fa��
388
00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:02,771
�i s-a lovit cu capul de o
balustrad� care era pe culoar.
389
00:26:03,270 --> 00:26:05,610
Eu nu puteam s� v�d
pentru c� eram pe scen�
390
00:26:05,689 --> 00:26:07,979
�i aveam reflectoarele �n fa��.
391
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:09,816
Asta p�n� la final
392
00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:13,242
c�nd a venit Martin pe scen�
�i a luat microfonul.
393
00:26:13,322 --> 00:26:16,992
Apoi mi-a �optit: "Frate, o
doamn� s-a r�nit la balcon."
394
00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:20,155
"Medicii sunt aici cu ea �n hol.
Hai s� vedem cum e."
395
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:21,075
"Ok, haide."
396
00:26:21,163 --> 00:26:25,463
Am ie�it prin spate. Cei de la
paz� ne a�teptau la ma�in�.
397
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:28,502
Am urcat �n ma�in�...
398
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,087
Ne-au dus �n fa�a cl�dirii.
399
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:34,592
�n fa�� era ambulan�a.
400
00:26:34,676 --> 00:26:36,546
Ne-am dus acolo.
401
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:40,467
�i acum, nu c� vreau s�
fac mi�to de situa�ie
402
00:26:40,557 --> 00:26:42,307
pentru c� e real�.
403
00:26:43,101 --> 00:26:45,691
Dar e un pic haioas�,
adic�...
404
00:26:46,980 --> 00:26:51,780
show-ul tocmai se terminase �i
oamenii ie�eau din cl�dire.
405
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:56,450
Tocmai m� v�zuser� adineauri pe scen�,
acum m� vedeau intr�nd prin fa��.
406
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,577
Trebuie s� vede�i
prin ochii mei.
407
00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:11,955
"E mare, dar e rapid. Nu �tiu
cum a f�cut, dar e bun."
408
00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:16,965
Am intrat �i m-am
�ndreptat imediat
409
00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:20,642
spre locul unde erau medicii
pe sc�rile spre balcon.
410
00:27:20,722 --> 00:27:22,812
Holul se umplea de oameni
411
00:27:22,891 --> 00:27:26,101
iar eu �ncercam s� ajung din punctul
A �n punctul B f�r� s� fiu oprit.
412
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:27,686
A�a c� am �nceput s� fac a�a,
413
00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:30,651
�i �tiu c� pare cam
ciudat, dar a mers.
414
00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:34,278
"E�ti bine? E�ti �n regul�?"
415
00:27:34,361 --> 00:27:36,661
Oamenii m� vedeau f�c�nd asta �i
imediat s-au derutat.
416
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:38,738
A�a cum v� uita�i acum.
417
00:27:38,824 --> 00:27:41,124
Se �ntrebau: "Ce dracu' face?"
418
00:27:41,451 --> 00:27:44,121
�i to�i s-au dat �n spate
2 pa�i f�c�nd a�a.
419
00:27:44,204 --> 00:27:46,674
�i a�a s-a creat un culoar ca s�
ajung la medici.
420
00:27:46,748 --> 00:27:50,128
Apoi au v�zut medicii �i au
�n�eles ce voiam s� fac.
421
00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:52,670
Totul a mers bine
p�n� c�nd m-am apropiat.
422
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:55,344
Iar unul dintre medici
mi-a zis.
423
00:27:55,424 --> 00:27:56,884
"Ce ai de g�nd cu doamna?"
424
00:27:56,967 --> 00:28:00,347
"Domnule, e clar c� doamna
s-a lovit la cap."
425
00:28:00,429 --> 00:28:03,719
"Vreau s�-i ar�t c�
sunt chiar eu."
426
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:04,727
"�i m� strecor �ncet..."
427
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:09,862
"spre ea."
428
00:28:10,355 --> 00:28:13,025
E clar c� sunt �n pozi�ia
�n care
429
00:28:13,108 --> 00:28:16,858
nu pot s� m� duc �n spatele
cuiva la un show
430
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:18,605
�i s�-i fac...
431
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:22,115
"De ce?"
"Pentru c� pe urm�...Liber!"
432
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,250
"Fluffy l-a mai omor�t pe unul!"
433
00:28:27,289 --> 00:28:28,709
�n sf�r�it, doamna s-a uitat spre mine.
434
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:31,920
Avea cam 55, 60 de ani,
o asiatic� micu��.
435
00:28:32,002 --> 00:28:33,302
M� vede �i face...
436
00:28:36,298 --> 00:28:38,128
"Tu prea amuzant."
437
00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:43,474
"Era s� m� omori."
438
00:28:45,599 --> 00:28:47,679
"�mi pare foarte r�u.
E�ti bine?"
439
00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:49,808
"Pot s� fac ceva s�
te sim�i mai bine?"
440
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,980
"Da."
441
00:28:52,564 --> 00:28:54,154
"Da, s� m� simt bine."
442
00:28:54,233 --> 00:28:56,493
"A� vrea 2 tricouri."
443
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,276
"O s�-�i aduc 2 tricouri."
444
00:28:59,863 --> 00:29:02,073
"�i 2 DVD-uri."
445
00:29:03,450 --> 00:29:06,208
"Nu te-ai lovit a�a de tare,
mi�c�-�i fundul, hai."
446
00:29:07,371 --> 00:29:10,371
O ridic �i imediat
unul dintre medici...
447
00:29:10,457 --> 00:29:12,377
"S-a lovit la cap,
n-ar trebui s� se ridice."
448
00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:15,299
"A fost show-ul meu
�n seara asta."
449
00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:18,919
"�mi asum eu responsabilitatea
pentru femeia asta. E �n regul�."
450
00:29:19,007 --> 00:29:19,877
�n plus, e firav�.
451
00:29:19,967 --> 00:29:23,347
Suntem la 3 metri de raion.
Nu-i mare lucru.
452
00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:25,388
�i zic: "Haide, te duc eu."
453
00:29:25,472 --> 00:29:29,692
Cum �ncepem s� mergem,
ea �ncepe s� g�f�ie.
454
00:29:33,313 --> 00:29:38,943
"Dle Fluffy, n-ai idee
ce s�pt�m�n� am avut."
455
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:42,105
"Fii-miu s-a �nsurat
cu tipa asta."
456
00:29:42,197 --> 00:29:44,157
"Nu g�te�te, nu face curat."
457
00:29:44,241 --> 00:29:46,031
"S-a mutat la mine acas�."
458
00:29:46,118 --> 00:29:48,828
"Acum trebuie s� g�tesc �i
s� fac curat pentru 2."
459
00:29:48,912 --> 00:29:51,324
"Ce porc�rie!"
460
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:56,037
M� g�ndesc: "Dumnezeule,
asta o s� p��esc �i eu!"
461
00:29:59,464 --> 00:30:02,474
"Dle Fluffy, trebuie s�-mi cer scuze"
462
00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:07,431
"c� n-am �tiut cine e�ti
p�n� azi."
463
00:30:07,514 --> 00:30:10,234
"O prieten� mi-a dat biletul."
464
00:30:10,309 --> 00:30:14,439
"Mi-a zis: Susie, e�ti prea
stresat�, trebuie s� mai ie�i."
465
00:30:14,521 --> 00:30:18,441
"So�ul a c�tigat biletul
la o tombol�, ia-l."
466
00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:22,195
"A�a c� m� uit pe bilet, scria:
The Fluffy."
467
00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:28,079
"Nu �tiam despre ce e vorba,
n-am mai fost la un show de comedie."
468
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:31,830
"Am v�zut 'Fluffy', am crezut
c� e un muzical, cum e 'Cats'."
469
00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:37,126
"Am zis, bine, m� duc s� v�d
'Fluffy Cats'."
470
00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:42,878
"Am venit mai devreme
ca s� iau Cola �i floricele."
471
00:30:42,966 --> 00:30:45,756
"�i m-am a�ezat �i
a�teptam 'Fluffy Cats'."
472
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:49,718
"C�nd apare prietenul t�u,
Martin, pe scen�"
473
00:30:49,806 --> 00:30:53,596
"cu p�r mare �i cioc."
474
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:58,515
"Mi-am zis: asta nu e 'Cats'."
475
00:30:58,607 --> 00:31:00,357
"Asta e 'Lion King'."
476
00:31:04,029 --> 00:31:06,819
"�sta e Mufasa mexican."
477
00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:13,084
"Apoi a �nceput cu poantele
�i am r�s, am r�s..."
478
00:31:13,163 --> 00:31:15,963
"Apoi ai ap�rut tu.
Era prea mult."
479
00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:18,291
"N-am mai putut s� respir,
am le�inat."
480
00:31:18,377 --> 00:31:22,707
"C�nd m-am trezit, aveam ghea��
pe cap, s�nge �n ochi,"
481
00:31:22,798 --> 00:31:26,678
"�i doi medici tineri
care m� atingeau aici."
482
00:31:27,552 --> 00:31:31,972
"Tot ziceau: E�ti bine? E�ti bine?"
483
00:31:32,057 --> 00:31:35,886
"�i ce le-ai spus?"
"Niciodat� a�a de bine."
484
00:31:38,855 --> 00:31:43,315
"Susie n-a fost pip�it� niciodat�
de 2 albi tineri �n acela�i timp."
485
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:47,202
"Show-ul t�u a fost foarte special,
dle Fluffy, foarte special."
486
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,200
"A fost ca 'pune-�i o dorin��'."
487
00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:54,779
"Dac� r�m�n cu cicatrice..."
488
00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:58,127
"M� dai �n judecat�."
"Nu, nu, nu..."
489
00:31:58,208 --> 00:32:00,727
"Nu dau �n judecat�."
490
00:32:00,927 --> 00:32:04,634
"Dac� r�m�n cu cicatrice �i
prietenii m� �ntreab�,"
491
00:32:04,714 --> 00:32:07,344
'De unde ai cicatricea aia?'
492
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:11,136
"acum o s� am o poveste
tare pentru asta."
493
00:32:11,221 --> 00:32:16,231
"O s� le zic: 2 b�rba�i albi,
�n acela�i timp."
494
00:32:23,024 --> 00:32:26,426
"�n timp ce un mexican se uita."
495
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,584
Am dus-o �napoi la medici,
ei mi-au zis,
496
00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:33,488
"E tare micu�a, nu?"
497
00:32:33,994 --> 00:32:36,374
"O, da, e excitat�,
pe voi v� place."
498
00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:40,418
Cum m-am �ntors,
499
00:32:40,500 --> 00:32:44,250
am v�zut un hol plin de
oameni cu mobile.
500
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,257
Trebuie s� fie o �nregistrare
cu ce v-am spus.
501
00:32:46,339 --> 00:32:48,929
To�i �nregistrau.
502
00:32:49,009 --> 00:32:51,889
Lumea a�tepta s� termin treaba
cu doamna �i medicii.
503
00:32:51,970 --> 00:32:55,627
Deodat�, c�nd m-am �ntors....
oamenii veneau spre mine.
504
00:32:55,827 --> 00:32:58,482
Unii voiau s� dea m�na,
al�ii s� bat palma.
505
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:02,650
Un tip a vrut doar s� m�
�mbr��i�eze, f�r� s� spun� nimic.
506
00:33:02,731 --> 00:33:04,611
Doar m-a �mbr��i�at,
"E�ti �n regul�?"
507
00:33:07,527 --> 00:33:10,237
"E�ti sigur?"
508
00:33:10,322 --> 00:33:11,952
Ni�te copii se uitau a mine...
509
00:33:14,493 --> 00:33:18,293
Pentru mine e foarte haios,
c� recunosc lic�rirea aia.
510
00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:20,121
�i eu m� uitam a�a �nainte.
511
00:33:20,207 --> 00:33:22,327
De multe ori m� holbam
�i eu la fel.
512
00:33:22,417 --> 00:33:26,087
Chiar anul trecut, m-am
�nt�lnit cu eroul meu din copil�rie.
513
00:33:26,588 --> 00:33:28,258
L-am �nt�lnit pe
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
514
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:33,595
Unii aplaud�, al�ii zic:
"Sta�i, sta�i...!"
515
00:33:33,678 --> 00:33:36,848
Uita�i cum e.
Nu mi-a pl�cut ca politician,
516
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:40,022
�i eram prea mic ca s�-l �tiu
ca �i culturist.
517
00:33:40,101 --> 00:33:42,601
Tot ce �tiu e c� "Terminator"
a fost filmul meu preferat,
518
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:44,017
�i el era "Terminator".
519
00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:48,857
A�a c�, uita�i povestea.
520
00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:53,244
Eram �n Los Angeles pentru premiera
unui film pe care tot nu l-am v�zut.
521
00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:57,121
Eram cu publicista mea, da?
522
00:33:57,202 --> 00:33:58,582
St�team cu ea acolo,
523
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:01,792
care �mi explica cum e cu
protocolul covorului ro�u.
524
00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,460
"Fii atent, Gabriel,
uite cum o s� fie."
525
00:34:04,543 --> 00:34:06,133
"Mergi pe covorul ro�u,"
526
00:34:06,211 --> 00:34:08,921
"�i paparazzi o s� �nceap�
s�-�i fac� poze,"
527
00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:10,875
"apoi cineva ��i va pune
c�teva �ntreb�ri."
528
00:34:10,966 --> 00:34:14,086
"O s� fie distractiv, dup� care
mergem la petrecerea de dup�."
529
00:34:14,177 --> 00:34:15,347
"O s� fie super."
530
00:34:15,428 --> 00:34:17,058
�n timp ce-mi spunea astea,
eu m� uitam �n jur,
531
00:34:17,138 --> 00:34:19,058
�i l-am observat...
532
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:20,930
L-am v�zut pe
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
533
00:34:21,017 --> 00:34:22,517
�i m-a luat tremuriciul.
534
00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:27,360
"E Arnold Schwarzenegger!"
535
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,360
"Calmeaz�-te! Nu l-ai
mai �nt�lnit pe Arnie?"
536
00:34:31,444 --> 00:34:33,914
Eu zic: "Nu, nu l-am mai
�nt�lnit pe Arnie."
537
00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:39,409
"Eu lucrez mereu cu el,
e foarte de treab�."
538
00:34:39,494 --> 00:34:41,624
"Vrei s� te prezint?"
539
00:34:41,705 --> 00:34:43,705
Eu zic: "Da!"
540
00:34:44,374 --> 00:34:49,344
M� ia de m�n� �i m�
duce direct la Arnold.
541
00:34:49,421 --> 00:34:52,171
Tremuram at�t de tare,
c� ar�tam ca un copil gras.
542
00:34:57,470 --> 00:34:59,430
Am ajuns l�ng�
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
543
00:34:59,514 --> 00:35:00,774
�i iat�-l pe
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
544
00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:04,269
Avea un grup mare l�ng� el,
care voia s� fac� poze.
545
00:35:04,352 --> 00:35:06,442
A�a c� am a�teptat r�bd�tor.
546
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,231
�n timp ce-l priveam,
trebuie s� v� spun.
547
00:35:09,816 --> 00:35:16,236
Nimeni de pe planet� nu se
pricepe mai bine cu oamenii dec�t el.
548
00:35:16,323 --> 00:35:19,493
E cel mai tare om la �nt�lnirile
cu publicul pe care l-am v�zut.
549
00:35:19,576 --> 00:35:24,286
Spun asta pentru c� este foarte
implicat c�nd �l �nt�lne�ti.
550
00:35:24,372 --> 00:35:26,292
Te ia de m�n�,
te trage aproape.
551
00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,634
Te prive�te �n ochi �i �ncepe.
552
00:35:29,711 --> 00:35:35,431
C�nd �l �nt�lne�ti, prime�ti
exact ce te a�tep�i s� prime�ti.
553
00:35:35,508 --> 00:35:36,928
E minunat s� vezi.
554
00:35:37,010 --> 00:35:39,350
"Ce faci? �mi pare bine
s� te cunosc!"
555
00:35:39,429 --> 00:35:41,849
"E�ti puternic. Tragi de fiare?
Uit�-te la tine!"
556
00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:45,271
"E incredibil aici, luminile astea,
covorul ro�u."
557
00:35:45,352 --> 00:35:46,442
"Scuz�-m�. Ce faci?"
558
00:35:46,519 --> 00:35:50,069
"E�ti puternic. Tragi de fiare?
E incredibil. Uit�-te la tine."
559
00:35:50,148 --> 00:35:53,438
Lumea pleca de l�ng� el
uit�ndu-se la m�ini.
560
00:35:56,154 --> 00:35:58,204
Se uitau la m�ini.
561
00:35:58,281 --> 00:36:01,161
10 minute m-am uitat la
Arnold Schwarzenegger f�c�nd asta.
562
00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:02,912
Apoi am observat altceva.
563
00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:08,674
Arnold avea un tip,
care st�tea �n spatele lui.
564
00:36:08,750 --> 00:36:10,960
�i treaba acestui tip
565
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:15,924
era s�-l preg�teasc� pe Arnold
pentru urm�toarea persoan�.
566
00:36:16,675 --> 00:36:20,465
Arnold Schwarzenegger nu
oprea conversa�ia cu cineva.
567
00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:23,353
Tipul din spate asculta
conversa�ia,
568
00:36:23,431 --> 00:36:25,431
�i hot�ra c�nd e de ajuns,
569
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:28,597
dup� care �i f�cea semn lui Arnold
s� mearg� mai departe.
570
00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:29,937
�sta era semnalul.
571
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:33,941
�l str�ngea pe Arnold
de bra� de 2 ori.
572
00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:38,735
A�a Arnold �tia: gata,
altul. Mereu spre st�nga.
573
00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:39,862
Tare s� prive�ti.
574
00:36:39,948 --> 00:36:43,238
"E incredibil cu luminile astea
�i efectele speciale."
575
00:36:43,326 --> 00:36:45,286
"Scuz�-m�. Salut!
�mi pare bine."
576
00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:47,040
"E�ti puternic!"
577
00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:48,832
Eu fac...
578
00:36:48,915 --> 00:36:52,955
�i am strigat spre tipul din
spate, el se �ntoarce spre mine.
579
00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:56,627
"F�-i semn! Vreau s�-l cunosc!
F�-i semn!"
580
00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:59,425
L-a bufnit r�sul c� �i-a
dat seama c� am v�zut
581
00:36:59,509 --> 00:37:01,139
cum func�ioneaz� Terminator.
582
00:37:03,304 --> 00:37:04,434
�i-mi face a�a.
583
00:37:06,725 --> 00:37:10,095
Dup� care �l gr�be�te pe Arnold.
584
00:37:10,186 --> 00:37:14,266
�l gr�bea at�t de tare, �nc�t
Arnold abia mai f�cea fa��.
585
00:37:14,357 --> 00:37:15,687
"Scuz�-m�. Pardon. Ce faci?"
586
00:37:15,775 --> 00:37:18,355
"Scuz�-m�. Pardon.
Bate palma."
587
00:37:23,283 --> 00:37:26,163
Se apropia de mine �i
eu a�teptam.
588
00:37:28,204 --> 00:37:30,254
�ntind m�na �i el o apuc�.
589
00:37:30,331 --> 00:37:32,631
"Salut! �mi pare..."
590
00:37:34,335 --> 00:37:35,915
"Te �tiu."
591
00:37:37,213 --> 00:37:38,473
"�tiu cine e�ti."
592
00:37:38,548 --> 00:37:42,928
"E�ti comicul cu poanta aia
cu indianul care jefuie�te o banc�,"
593
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:46,101
"dar nu poate c� fac �ia
mi�to de el."
594
00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:51,845
�n mintea mea: "M� �tie!"
595
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:57,276
Dar fac: "Da, eu sunt."
596
00:37:57,358 --> 00:37:59,648
"E�ti demen�ial.
D�-mi datele de contact."
597
00:37:59,736 --> 00:38:01,606
"E�ti cea mai haioas� persoan�...
Scuz�-m�."
598
00:38:01,696 --> 00:38:04,566
"Salut! �mi pare bine.
E�ti foarte puternic..."
599
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:10,331
S�-l �nt�lne�ti pe Arnold
e ca un roller coaster.
600
00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:13,333
Vrei s� te duci mai �ncolo
�i s�-l �nt�lne�ti iar.
601
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:18,166
M� uitam la el,
lumea �l �nregistra.
602
00:38:18,254 --> 00:38:23,712
Pentru mine era una din situa�iile
interesante �n care m� aflam,
603
00:38:23,912 --> 00:38:27,388
pentru c�-mi place s� ies.
604
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:30,932
M-am �mb�tat �n Chicago
de foarte multe ori.
605
00:38:31,601 --> 00:38:33,391
�mi place s� m� distrez.
606
00:38:35,230 --> 00:38:37,230
Uita�i care e problema.
607
00:38:37,315 --> 00:38:41,145
Am semnat recent un
contract cu postul ABC,
608
00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:44,656
pentru propriul meu
serial de tv.
609
00:38:50,036 --> 00:38:52,536
Nu e stabilit, dar am
stabilit episodul pilot.
610
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:54,672
Dar e o problem�.
611
00:38:54,749 --> 00:38:59,209
ABC e de�inut de...Disney.
612
00:39:00,755 --> 00:39:02,915
Disney e o marc� at�t
de mare
613
00:39:03,007 --> 00:39:07,427
�nc�t dac� cineva
amenin�� marca asta,
614
00:39:07,512 --> 00:39:10,772
ei se ocup� de el
�ntr-un foarte "ne-Disney" fel.
615
00:39:11,975 --> 00:39:14,935
Serialul pe care-l fac
e despre mine.
616
00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:17,769
M� joc pe mine.
�l joc pe Gabriel Iglesias.
617
00:39:17,856 --> 00:39:20,016
E despre mine, familia mea,
prietenii mei.
618
00:39:20,525 --> 00:39:22,065
Prietenul meu Martin...
619
00:39:22,777 --> 00:39:25,607
n-are voie s� joace �n serial.
620
00:39:27,073 --> 00:39:30,021
Nu v� lua�i de mine.
Lua�i-v� de Mickey Mouse.
621
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:34,793
��i verific� socializ�rile,
tot ce ai �n online.
622
00:39:34,873 --> 00:39:37,173
Dac� ai ceva care nu se
potrive�te cu modelul lor,
623
00:39:37,250 --> 00:39:39,130
te vor...
624
00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:42,130
�i sunt paranoic, c� Disney
e uria�, sunt imen�i.
625
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:44,593
De�in posturi tv, posturi radio.
626
00:39:44,674 --> 00:39:48,144
De�in Marvel Comics, Star Wars.
627
00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:50,219
Nu vreau s� primesc
telefonul �la, �ti�i?
628
00:39:51,924 --> 00:39:55,420
"Alo!"
"De oaie ai f�cut-o!"
629
00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:06,695
Am devenit paranoic.
630
00:40:06,779 --> 00:40:09,489
Pentru c� �n ziua de azi
toat� lumea �nregistreaz�.
631
00:40:09,574 --> 00:40:11,834
Dac� faci ceva prostesc,
632
00:40:11,910 --> 00:40:14,700
poate s� se termine chiar mai r�u.
633
00:40:14,787 --> 00:40:19,037
De exemplu, dac� e s� cad
de pe scen� �i cineva �nregistreaz�.
634
00:40:19,626 --> 00:40:22,046
Dac� TMZ prinde asta,
devine viral.
635
00:40:22,128 --> 00:40:25,588
�i Doamne fere�te s� p��esc
ceva, apar �tirile.
636
00:40:25,673 --> 00:40:28,263
"Ne afl�m �n fa��
la Allstate Arena"
637
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:29,303
"�n Rosemont, Illinois,"
638
00:40:29,385 --> 00:40:32,055
"unde autorit��ile presupun
c� Fluffy �i-a pierdut controlul."
639
00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:36,977
"Comicul de 39 de ani a fost
g�sit mort a doua oar� �n 2 ani."
640
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:40,649
"Nimeni nu �tie exact
ce s-a �nt�mplat aici."
641
00:40:40,730 --> 00:40:43,117
"Autorit��ile au declarat doar at�t..."
642
00:40:59,958 --> 00:41:01,828
De asta zic, trebuie s� fiu
foarte atent,
643
00:41:01,918 --> 00:41:04,548
pentru c� �in la
obiceiurile mele.
644
00:41:04,629 --> 00:41:05,709
�nc� �mi place s� beau.
645
00:41:05,797 --> 00:41:07,717
Bine�n�eles, unii m�
trag deoparte �i zic:
646
00:41:07,799 --> 00:41:11,089
"Gabriel, de ce tot bei?"
647
00:41:11,177 --> 00:41:14,717
"Ai at�tea responsabilit��i �i
persoane de care s� ai grij�."
648
00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:16,825
"De ce bei?"
"Pentru c�..."
649
00:41:16,825 --> 00:41:19,900
"...am at�tea responsabilit��i
�i persoane de care am grij�."
650
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:24,402
Unii dintre voi �tiu deja,
c� a�i mai fost la show-urile mele.
651
00:41:24,482 --> 00:41:27,902
Favorita mea e tequila.
652
00:41:32,490 --> 00:41:34,580
Cu unele tipuri de alcool
nu m� mai bag.
653
00:41:34,659 --> 00:41:36,489
Cum ar fi Jaeger.
654
00:41:38,037 --> 00:41:41,787
Orice alcool care te face
s�-i spui numele...
655
00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:43,421
nu e sigur.
656
00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:46,498
E singurul alcool care
te face s� faci asta.
657
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,837
E singurul pe care-l
auzi la oameni...
658
00:41:48,923 --> 00:41:50,763
Jaeger!
659
00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:53,012
Nu-i auzi pe al�ii.
Nu-i auzi pe mexicani...
660
00:41:53,094 --> 00:41:54,854
"Tequila! Guey!"
661
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:57,809
Nu-i auzi pe negri:
"Hennessy, prietene!"
662
00:41:59,142 --> 00:42:02,482
Nici pe japonezi:
"Sake! Sake!"
663
00:42:03,521 --> 00:42:05,691
Jaeger e periculos
din c�teva motive.
664
00:42:05,773 --> 00:42:09,823
Unu, eu am diabet tip II,
nici m�car n-ar trebui s� beau.
665
00:42:09,902 --> 00:42:12,452
Jaeger are de 2 ori mai
mult zah�r �n el.
666
00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:15,620
Al doilea, e consisten�a lui.
E foarte cleios.
667
00:42:15,700 --> 00:42:17,120
E ca siropul de tuse.
668
00:42:17,201 --> 00:42:20,161
Dac� bei prea mult,
��i r�m�ne cel mai mult.
669
00:42:20,246 --> 00:42:22,076
�i nu e bine deloc.
Faci...
670
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:25,790
"Pa la tos. Pa la tos."
(pentru tuse)
671
00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:27,167
E oribil.
672
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:33,627
Dac� bei prea mult,
��i r�m�ne cel mai mult.
673
00:42:33,718 --> 00:42:36,348
Dac� bei ni�te beri,
�tii ce urmeaz�.
674
00:42:36,429 --> 00:42:39,219
Faci...�i apoi o dai afar�.
675
00:42:40,767 --> 00:42:43,727
Jaeger ��i d� impresia
c� dai afar�, dar nu po�i.
676
00:42:43,811 --> 00:42:47,731
Te face doar s� te chinui
vreo 45 minute p�n� iese.
677
00:42:47,815 --> 00:42:49,645
�l vezi pe unu a�a.
"E�ti ok?"
678
00:42:49,734 --> 00:42:51,154
"Sunt �n regul�, frate...!"
679
00:42:57,992 --> 00:43:01,202
Nu pot s� vomite.
Doar s� fac� abdomene 6 minute.
680
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:12,297
Lumea se uit� la tine a doua zi.
"Faci fitness?", "Nu, sunt be�iv!"
681
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,840
Jaeger e periculos.
682
00:43:15,927 --> 00:43:18,887
Alt alcool cu care
refuz s� m� mai �ncurc...
683
00:43:19,806 --> 00:43:21,598
e vinul.
684
00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:25,557
Uite la cei de acolo:
685
00:43:25,853 --> 00:43:27,403
"Noi suntem din Schaumburg."
686
00:43:36,823 --> 00:43:37,573
Pentru cei care nu �tiu,
687
00:43:37,657 --> 00:43:40,577
Schaumburg este Beverly Hills
al zonei, a�a c�...
688
00:43:41,202 --> 00:43:43,803
Sunt sigur c� v-a�i dat seama.
689
00:43:43,803 --> 00:43:46,995
Problema mea cu vinul
e foarte simpl�.
690
00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:50,253
Nu-mi place c� vinul
e acceptat social.
691
00:43:50,336 --> 00:43:53,796
Adic�, atunci c�nd �l vezi
pe unul cu o sticl� de vin,
692
00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:57,341
dac� unu trece strada
cu o sticl� de vin,
693
00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:00,676
imediat e judecat �ntr-un
mod pozitiv,
694
00:44:00,763 --> 00:44:03,353
pentru c� mereu vinul e
asociat cu o clas� rafinat�,
695
00:44:03,432 --> 00:44:04,982
cu ceva pozitiv, ceva progresiv,
696
00:44:05,059 --> 00:44:07,189
o aniversare, o s�rb�toare,
o promovare.
697
00:44:07,270 --> 00:44:10,230
�ncerci s� �n�elegi ce e.
"Ce crezi c� e acolo?"
698
00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:13,074
"Absolvire? Promovare?
Trebuie s� fie ceva de bine."
699
00:44:13,151 --> 00:44:14,611
"Bravo �ie, prietene!"
700
00:44:16,279 --> 00:44:19,869
Femeile v�d un b�rbat cu o
sticl� de vin, cu 2 pahare,
701
00:44:19,949 --> 00:44:21,029
�i imediat...
702
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:27,410
"T�rf� norocoas�!"
703
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:33,013
Tot alcool e.
Tot te va �mb�ta.
704
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:35,262
Principalul motiv pentru
care nu-mi place vinul,
705
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:38,429
e c� nu po�i m�sura
vinul cu precizie.
706
00:44:38,509 --> 00:44:41,179
Po�i m�sura alcoolul real.
Se nume�te "shot".
707
00:44:41,262 --> 00:44:42,932
�i �tii dup� suficient timp
708
00:44:43,014 --> 00:44:45,474
c�t po�i s� duci �i c�t nu.
709
00:44:45,558 --> 00:44:47,188
Pentru c� oamenilor care beau mult
710
00:44:47,268 --> 00:44:49,978
le place s� se laude
cu abilit��ile lor.
711
00:44:50,062 --> 00:44:52,362
κi �tiu num�rul limit�, corect?
712
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,320
κi �tiu num�rul.
713
00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:56,322
�i auzi.
714
00:44:56,402 --> 00:44:59,362
"11 shot-uri de Don Julio!"
715
00:45:00,990 --> 00:45:03,370
Au num�rul limit�,
chiar �i femeile.
716
00:45:03,451 --> 00:45:07,371
"Dup� 4 shot-uri de Cuervo,
sunt ame�it�."
717
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:10,500
"4 shot-uri e punctul meu."
718
00:45:11,083 --> 00:45:14,053
"Ce te faci dac� bei 5?"
"M� trezesc pe-o alee."
719
00:45:15,296 --> 00:45:18,006
"Ce te faci dac� bei 6?"
"A�a l-am cunoscut pe Tyrone."
720
00:45:25,598 --> 00:45:29,130
Cu vinul, nu po�i s� cuantifici
exact c�t bei
721
00:45:29,130 --> 00:45:30,852
p�n� nu te raportezi la sticl�.
722
00:45:30,937 --> 00:45:34,017
�i dac� te raportezi la sticl�,
e cu totul alt� problem�.
723
00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:37,574
La vin, paharele au
m�rimi diferite.
724
00:45:37,652 --> 00:45:40,702
C�teodat� sunt mari,
c�teodat� sunt mici.
725
00:45:40,780 --> 00:45:43,990
De multe ori ��i toarn�
altcineva �n pahar.
726
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:46,075
C�teodat� �tiu ce fac,
c�teodat� nu.
727
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:49,410
C�teodat� �l umplu prea mult,
ceea ce nu e corect.
728
00:45:49,497 --> 00:45:52,877
Alteori o nimeresc, adic�
pu�in sub jum�tatea paharului.
729
00:45:53,459 --> 00:45:55,459
Alteori dai peste tic�losul
lacom de la Olive Garden.
730
00:45:55,544 --> 00:45:57,094
��i d� mostra aia.
731
00:45:57,171 --> 00:45:59,721
Trebuie s�-l �ii sus
�n dreptul soarelui �i s� faci...
732
00:46:00,925 --> 00:46:03,965
Apoi gu�ti. "Nu-i r�u.
Am un cupon. Ia-l."
733
00:46:06,347 --> 00:46:12,307
�i nu vezi b�utori de vin b�nd
cu adev�ra�ii b�utori �n baruri.
734
00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:16,645
�i vezi la adun�ri, la
evenimente de firm�,
735
00:46:16,732 --> 00:46:18,652
dar niciodat� �n vreun bar.
736
00:46:18,734 --> 00:46:21,074
N-o s� vezi: "Jaeger!"
737
00:46:21,654 --> 00:46:22,824
"Tequila! Guey!"
738
00:46:22,905 --> 00:46:25,315
�i la mijloc: "Merlot s� fie!"
739
00:46:26,283 --> 00:46:29,873
"E un local fantastic. Chiar
�mi place decorul de aici."
740
00:46:29,954 --> 00:46:30,874
"E uimitor."
741
00:46:30,955 --> 00:46:33,995
"E minunat, ��i spun.
Cine v� tunde iarba?"
742
00:46:35,001 --> 00:46:36,501
"E fantastic."
743
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:40,842
Scuze, vocea asta mereu
m� face s� r�d. �mi place.
744
00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:44,655
M� face s� r�d c�nd
suntem aici, �n America...
745
00:46:45,845 --> 00:46:48,175
De c�te ori am spectacol
�n Anglia,
746
00:46:48,264 --> 00:46:49,814
vocea asta cap�t�
alt �n�eles.
747
00:46:50,891 --> 00:46:53,351
Am auzit strig�te.
Avem lume din UK?
748
00:46:54,603 --> 00:46:57,063
Bun. Sta�i s� le spun
celorlal�i despre voi.
749
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:03,070
�mi place c�nd vin englezi
�n SUA,
750
00:47:03,154 --> 00:47:05,534
pentru c� de c�te ori v� aud,
751
00:47:05,614 --> 00:47:07,784
sun� incredibil, uimitor,
752
00:47:07,867 --> 00:47:09,737
p�re�i educa�i,
753
00:47:09,827 --> 00:47:11,657
p�re�i inspira�ionali.
754
00:47:11,746 --> 00:47:15,286
Accentul e unic.
755
00:47:15,374 --> 00:47:17,214
Nu conteaz� despre ce vorbi�i,
756
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:19,503
suntem atra�i de subiect.
757
00:47:19,587 --> 00:47:21,757
Poate s� fie despre gunoi,
sun� incredibil.
758
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:24,876
"Cine a putut s� lase
de�eurile astea aici? E absurd."
759
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:27,677
"At�ta debandad�
pe tot trotuarul."
760
00:47:27,762 --> 00:47:30,222
"Cineva trebuie s� se ocupe
imediat. E ridicol."
761
00:47:30,306 --> 00:47:31,346
Lumea ascult�.
762
00:47:31,432 --> 00:47:34,522
"Nu �tiu ce s-a �nt�mplat acolo,
dar e cu nasoale."
763
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:38,770
"Englezul �la e nervos.
Nu �tiu."
764
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:41,606
"Ce dracu' �nseamn� de�euri?"
765
00:47:42,651 --> 00:47:45,991
E diferit. C�nd noi
mergem la ei,
766
00:47:46,072 --> 00:47:47,822
frate, e total diferit,
767
00:47:47,907 --> 00:47:50,237
pentru c� noi avem
un cu totul alt accent.
768
00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:51,616
De fapt,
769
00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:55,712
ca americani, avem alt
fel de a vorbi englez�.
770
00:47:55,790 --> 00:48:00,040
V� �nchipui�i cum
sun� pentru ei?
771
00:48:00,127 --> 00:48:04,377
Pe bune, �ti�i cum se uit�
la noi c�nd ne aud?
772
00:48:05,132 --> 00:48:06,932
Aud asta:
773
00:48:07,009 --> 00:48:10,349
"��i spun, ieri am fost cu Phil."
774
00:48:10,429 --> 00:48:13,139
"Tic�losul a venit la mine �i
ne-am distrat ca pe vremuri."
775
00:48:13,224 --> 00:48:14,354
"Numai eu cu Phil."
776
00:48:16,519 --> 00:48:18,769
Apropo, dac� e vreunul dintre voi
care vorbe�te a�a aici, glumeam.
777
00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:20,484
Sunt doar poante.
778
00:48:20,564 --> 00:48:22,694
Nu v� agita�i, adic�,
779
00:48:22,775 --> 00:48:24,275
"�l a�tept afar�!"
780
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,860
"S� v�d c�t� caterinc� mai
are �n parcare. Fluffy pe dracu'!"
781
00:48:32,618 --> 00:48:34,448
Cred c� e haios,
782
00:48:34,537 --> 00:48:38,037
c� indiferent despre
ce vorbesc acolo,
783
00:48:38,124 --> 00:48:40,486
sun� la fel.
784
00:48:41,293 --> 00:48:43,963
�n timp ce noi, americanii,
785
00:48:44,046 --> 00:48:46,916
vorbim �n func�ie de eveniment.
786
00:48:47,007 --> 00:48:49,677
Schimb�m, modific�m, adapt�m.
787
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,970
Fiecare avem...
788
00:48:51,053 --> 00:48:55,723
De exemplu, fiecare are
o voce pentru un interviu.
789
00:48:56,475 --> 00:48:59,595
C�nd te duci la un interviu,
nu vorbe�ti ca atunci
790
00:48:59,687 --> 00:49:02,057
c�nd bei s�mb�t� seara.
791
00:49:02,148 --> 00:49:04,608
Te schimbi.
Faci repeti�ii �n ma�in�.
792
00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:06,532
�i c�nd intri, �ncepi.
793
00:49:06,610 --> 00:49:08,070
"Dac� ve�i verifica referin�ele mele"
794
00:49:08,154 --> 00:49:10,284
"ve�i vedea c� sunt mai mult
dec�t calificat pentru acest post."
795
00:49:10,364 --> 00:49:11,874
"Nu ezita�i s�-l suna�i
pe dl Frank Torres."
796
00:49:11,949 --> 00:49:14,909
"Frank v� va spune ce treab�
minunat� am f�cut pentru el �n trecut."
797
00:49:14,994 --> 00:49:18,254
"Sunt gata s� lucrez 7 zile
pe s�pt�m�n�, 365 zile pe an."
798
00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:20,960
"Nici un post nu e prea mare,
nici o sarcin� prea mic�."
799
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:23,631
"V� pute�i baza pe mine.
Sunt persoana potrivit�."
800
00:49:23,711 --> 00:49:25,921
"V� rog s� m� ave�i �n vedere.
Mul�umesc pentru timpul dvs."
801
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:28,545
Apoi v� duce�i �n parcare.
802
00:49:28,632 --> 00:49:30,932
Ajunge�i �n parcare �i �ncepe�i...
803
00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:37,062
"Am nevoie de job. Am nevoie."
804
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:44,399
�ti�i bine c� to�i avem
vocea de zi cu zi,
805
00:49:44,481 --> 00:49:47,741
c�nd vorbim cu familia,
cu prietenii, cu copiii.
806
00:49:48,944 --> 00:49:51,914
�i avem vocea de noapte,
de la petreceri.
807
00:49:51,989 --> 00:49:53,199
"Jaeger!"
808
00:49:53,782 --> 00:49:58,202
�i dac� ai noroc, mai ai
vocea de noaptea foarte t�rziu.
809
00:49:58,287 --> 00:50:00,157
"Exact, n-ai idee ce te a�teapt�...!"
810
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:09,303
Unii se uit� �i zic:
"Doamne, Fluffy e un ciudat!"
811
00:50:10,549 --> 00:50:12,516
Doar v� d�deam un exemplu.
812
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:16,009
Copiii fac: "E altfel!"
813
00:50:17,389 --> 00:50:20,349
Scuze, v�d copiii care....
814
00:50:21,268 --> 00:50:24,018
Ta�ii fac: "Pinche Fluffy.
Nu, nu, nu.."
815
00:50:24,104 --> 00:50:26,614
"Na�pa. Fluffy r�u, Fluffy r�u."
816
00:50:27,983 --> 00:50:29,403
Dar acolo,
817
00:50:29,485 --> 00:50:31,525
ei vorbesc la fel indiferent
ce ar face.
818
00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:33,322
C�nd aplic� la un job.
819
00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:35,206
"Dac�-mi verifica�i referin�ele"
820
00:50:35,206 --> 00:50:37,629
"ve�i vedea c� sunt
calificat pentru post."
821
00:50:37,829 --> 00:50:38,411
La distrac�ie.
822
00:50:38,494 --> 00:50:41,374
"Dac�-mi torni vin, o s�-l beau.
E minunat, ��i spun."
823
00:50:42,039 --> 00:50:43,039
C�nd fac dragoste.
824
00:50:43,123 --> 00:50:45,503
"O s�-�i desfac picioarele
ca Marea Ro�ie."
825
00:50:46,543 --> 00:50:48,673
"O s� te dezonorez �ntr-un
asemenea fel,"
826
00:50:48,754 --> 00:50:51,174
"�nc�t o s�-�i pl�ngi
ziua c�nd ai intrat �n club."
827
00:50:51,257 --> 00:50:54,882
"O s�-mi las podul jos �i-o
s� te prezint reginei!"
828
00:50:55,386 --> 00:50:58,676
�i c�nd ajungi la momentul magic,
vreau s� strigi: "Victorie!"
829
00:50:58,764 --> 00:51:01,736
"Victorie!"
"Treaba mea s-a terminat aici."
830
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:17,279
Partea aiurea cu poanta asta
831
00:51:17,366 --> 00:51:20,366
e c� e singura pe care
o vor �ine minte copiii.
832
00:51:22,121 --> 00:51:24,291
Peste 2 s�pt�m�ni
vrei s� intri �n camer�.
833
00:51:24,373 --> 00:51:27,463
�i zici: "De ce e �nchis� u�a?"
�i auzi: "Victorie!"
834
00:51:30,337 --> 00:51:32,837
V�d ni�te copii acolo.
C��i ani ai?
835
00:51:32,923 --> 00:51:34,013
- 13.
- 13.
836
00:51:34,091 --> 00:51:35,181
�i l�ng� tine?
837
00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:36,886
- C��i ani ai?
- 10.
838
00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:38,009
Ai 10 ani.
839
00:51:38,095 --> 00:51:40,465
Bine, �mi pare r�u
pentru ce a zis Martin.
840
00:51:44,351 --> 00:51:47,311
Nu �mi pare foarte r�u,
pentru c� �ti�i ce?
841
00:51:47,396 --> 00:51:49,816
La 10 ani deja sunte�i
aproape adul�i.
842
00:51:49,898 --> 00:51:51,228
Nu v� v�d ca pe ni�te copii.
843
00:51:51,317 --> 00:51:55,027
Pentru mine, un copil e
cineva care n-are internet.
844
00:51:56,905 --> 00:52:00,615
Sunt sigur c� ave�i un mobil,
o tablet�, acces la servicii online, nu?
845
00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:03,498
Servicii online.
"Despre ce dracu' vorbe�te?"
846
00:52:04,330 --> 00:52:06,540
Termeni nepotrivi�i.
�ti�i la ce m� refer, da?
847
00:52:07,708 --> 00:52:09,668
Probabil c� a�i auzit
tot felul de lucruri deja.
848
00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:12,802
P�rin�ii zic: "Nu �i copilul meu.
I-am blocat mobilul."
849
00:52:12,880 --> 00:52:14,760
Dar nu �i mobilul
amicilor lui.
850
00:52:16,258 --> 00:52:21,098
�mi pare r�u c�nd
spun lucruri "riscante",
851
00:52:21,180 --> 00:52:23,890
c�nd sunt copii de 4, 5, 6 ani
�n sal�.
852
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,604
Dar se �nt�mpl� �i regret.
853
00:52:26,685 --> 00:52:30,555
�i �nt�lnesc dup� show:
"Scuze pentru ce am zis."
854
00:52:30,648 --> 00:52:32,318
�i e mereu hazliu c�nd �i
auzi pe p�rin�i:
855
00:52:32,399 --> 00:52:35,016
"Acas� aud altele �i mai �i."
856
00:52:36,362 --> 00:52:39,492
De nepre�uit c�nd vezi un
pu�ti de 4 ani confirm�nd asta.
857
00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:47,120
Ca de exemplu, fii-miu.
858
00:52:47,206 --> 00:52:50,746
Are 18 ani, dar tot nu �njur� acas�.
859
00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:52,964
Ce face �n public,
nu pot s� controlez.
860
00:52:53,045 --> 00:52:55,375
Dar acas�, nu are voie s� �njure.
861
00:52:55,964 --> 00:52:56,884
O dat�...
862
00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:02,300
O dat� �n 13 ani,
l-am auzit �njur�nd acas�,
863
00:53:02,388 --> 00:53:04,121
�i nici m�car nu m-am
putut �nfuria.
864
00:53:04,321 --> 00:53:05,806
C�zuse pe sc�ri.
865
00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:09,598
Nu c� e de r�s,
dar g�ndi�i-v�.
866
00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:13,397
Ce pot s�-i fac mai r�u
dec�t �i f�cuse singur?
867
00:53:14,441 --> 00:53:16,031
L-am �i auzit.
868
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:19,531
"B�ga-mi-a�!"
869
00:53:21,657 --> 00:53:23,577
Am fugit. Nici m�car
nu m-am uitat s� v�d ce are.
870
00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:25,039
"Ce ziceai?"
871
00:53:28,330 --> 00:53:29,960
"�i-o meri�i."
872
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:34,381
"Dac� vrei s� spui �i cuv�ntul cu 'F',
data viitoare te �mping eu."
873
00:53:36,171 --> 00:53:39,091
A�a am �tiut c� a c�zut r�u.
"Pe bune?", "Nu.", "Treci aici."
874
00:53:39,633 --> 00:53:42,853
Bine a�i venit, prieteni.
Sper c� v� distra�i...
875
00:53:42,928 --> 00:53:45,508
�tiu c� tati se enerveaz� acum.
"Ce tot �i spune lui fii-miu?"
876
00:53:45,597 --> 00:53:47,717
Nu, nimic.
Fac pe simpaticul doar.
877
00:53:47,808 --> 00:53:51,058
Dar v� mul�umesc c� ave�i �ncredere
�i-i aduce�i pe copii la show.
878
00:53:51,145 --> 00:53:53,515
Sau pe tinerii adul�i, scuze.
879
00:53:53,605 --> 00:53:56,275
V� mul�umesc c� ave�i
�ncredere �n mine.
880
00:53:57,693 --> 00:54:00,573
Apropo, �tiu c� tot ar�t
spre cei din primul r�nd.
881
00:54:00,654 --> 00:54:03,124
Dac� sunte�i aici...
882
00:54:03,657 --> 00:54:06,867
cu cineva cu care n-ar
trebui s� fi�i...
883
00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:11,615
�i vede�i camera c� vine
spre voi, face�i...
884
00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:14,632
"Victorie!"
885
00:54:17,004 --> 00:54:18,924
Sunt foarte respectuo�i,
se vor �ndrepta spre alt� persoan�.
886
00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:21,676
Nu v� face�i griji.
887
00:54:22,468 --> 00:54:25,048
S� nu uit, a� vrea s�
mul�umesc Allstate Arena
888
00:54:25,137 --> 00:54:27,807
pentru condi�iile
extraordinare din culise.
889
00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:31,644
V� spun direct,
�mi place cabina mea
890
00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:34,977
pentru simplul motiv c� are
lucrurile de baz� pe care le ador,
891
00:54:35,063 --> 00:54:36,523
cum ar fi �ntrerup�toarele.
892
00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:40,033
Multe din s�lile astea au
devenit ecologice.
893
00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:43,610
�i au �nlocuit �ntrerup�toarele
cu senzori.
894
00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:46,032
Senzorii sunt mi�to,
c�nd func�ioneaz�.
895
00:54:46,950 --> 00:54:49,120
�n�elege�i?
E�ti la 3 m, te simte,
896
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,253
�i toat� camera e...
897
00:54:52,956 --> 00:54:54,786
Nu-mi place c�nd
merg aiurea,
898
00:54:54,875 --> 00:54:58,165
trebuie s� mergi pe �ntuneric,
s� te simt�.
899
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:09,308
Apoi stai nemi�cat
4 secunde. "Rahat!"
900
00:55:12,601 --> 00:55:16,481
�n plus, chiuveta
are robine�i.
901
00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:18,903
Pot s� controlez temperatura
�i presiunea apei,
902
00:55:18,982 --> 00:55:21,492
ceea ce �n zona Chicago,
e foarte important,
903
00:55:21,568 --> 00:55:22,778
mai ales iarna.
904
00:55:24,446 --> 00:55:26,446
Voi nu v� juca�i cu iernile.
905
00:55:26,532 --> 00:55:28,782
Ave�i nevoie de ap�
cald� c�nd v� sp�la�i pe m�ini.
906
00:55:28,867 --> 00:55:31,447
Nu v� pute�i baza pe senzor
care v� d� numai ap� rece,
907
00:55:31,537 --> 00:55:34,537
c� m�inile vor deveni de groaz�.
908
00:55:34,873 --> 00:55:36,713
Ie�i�i afar� �i lumea
�ncepe s� r�d� de voi.
909
00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:38,736
"Fi�i aten�i! Thriller!"
910
00:55:42,256 --> 00:55:47,386
Cabina mea are o chiuvet�
cu cald-rece.
911
00:55:48,053 --> 00:55:51,757
Po�i s� controlezi apa,
temperatura, presiunea.
912
00:55:51,974 --> 00:55:55,314
Ur�sc c� ne-au luat asta �i
le-au �nlocuit cu senzori.
913
00:55:55,394 --> 00:55:58,524
�i a�a, �n loc s� fiu comic,
trebuie s� fiu magician.
914
00:55:59,690 --> 00:56:01,831
Nu sunt magician, dar dac�
m� vede�i cum m� sp�l pe m�ini,
915
00:56:01,831 --> 00:56:04,350
asta sunt.
916
00:56:06,196 --> 00:56:07,856
Nimic. Apoi pleci.
917
00:56:10,826 --> 00:56:13,786
Parc� e cineva dup� oglind�
care-�i bate joc de mine.
918
00:56:16,582 --> 00:56:19,132
�n unele locuri e doar at�t,
�n altele e mai mult.
919
00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:23,377
�mi place s� dau cu mult s�pun,
�mi place un dozator bun.
920
00:56:23,463 --> 00:56:26,433
�mi place pompa, �ti�i cum e...
921
00:56:26,758 --> 00:56:28,758
Ur�sc c�nd ne iau asta
922
00:56:28,844 --> 00:56:32,184
�i �l �nlocuiesc cu un
orificiu l�ng� robinet.
923
00:56:33,181 --> 00:56:34,101
Pui m�na sub el,
924
00:56:34,182 --> 00:56:36,442
�i-�i d� ni�te muci
de s�pun.
925
00:56:37,352 --> 00:56:39,942
�n�elege�i? Un mic "moco"
c�nd pui m�na.
926
00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:46,114
Mai ai nevoie, a�a c�
o retragi �i o pui din nou.
927
00:56:46,194 --> 00:56:49,586
Dar senzorul: "Nu, e�ti tot tu."
928
00:56:51,992 --> 00:56:53,912
Acuma trebuie s�-l p�c�le�ti, nu?
929
00:56:56,288 --> 00:56:58,958
Odat� ce �i-ai dat cu s�pun,
acuma trebuie s�-l speli.
930
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:01,774
Dar nu po�i pentru c�
cronometrul pentru ap�
931
00:57:01,774 --> 00:57:02,840
e prea scurt.
932
00:57:02,919 --> 00:57:06,209
A�a c� te dai �n spate
�i o iei de la cap�t.
933
00:57:07,090 --> 00:57:09,430
Intri �ntr-o curs� de timp
s�-�i dai s�punul jos.
934
00:57:09,509 --> 00:57:12,889
Odat� ce ai sc�pat de s�pun,
acuma trebuie s� te usuci.
935
00:57:12,971 --> 00:57:16,271
Unele locuri au prosoape,
altele au prosoape de h�rtie.
936
00:57:16,350 --> 00:57:20,730
Unele au prosoape de h�rtie
�ntr-un dispozitiv cu un senzor.
937
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,728
�i �ncepi.
938
00:57:25,984 --> 00:57:28,074
7 cm de h�rtie.
939
00:57:28,570 --> 00:57:31,700
7 cm, Chicago.
Nu po�i s� faci nimic cu at�ta.
940
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:33,662
�ntreba�i orice femeie,
o s� v� confirme.
941
00:57:38,330 --> 00:57:40,250
Sau b�rbat. S� echilibrez
oportunit��ile.
942
00:57:42,793 --> 00:57:45,803
Vreau s� controlez h�rtia,
vreau un m�ner ceva...
943
00:57:54,179 --> 00:57:56,389
Unele au doar at�t,
altele merg mai departe.
944
00:57:56,473 --> 00:57:58,773
A�i fost �ntr-o toalet�...
945
00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:02,145
a�i �nchis u�a, a�i �ncuiat-o,
v-a�i uitat la toalet�
946
00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:04,189
�i a�i dat de becule�ul
ro�u din perete care clipe�te?
947
00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:06,480
"Serios? �i aici?"
948
00:58:07,651 --> 00:58:11,571
�i vre�i s� lua�i h�rtie
pentru colac.
949
00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:13,155
Face�i un pas...
950
00:58:15,826 --> 00:58:17,326
"N-am f�cut nimic �nc�!"
951
00:58:18,662 --> 00:58:20,912
Trage�i h�rtia.
952
00:58:43,437 --> 00:58:46,227
V� �ntoarce�i �i o pune�i
ca pe o pelerin�.
953
00:58:48,316 --> 00:58:52,486
�i o l�sa�i s� cad� pe spate
p�n� unde trebuie.
954
00:58:53,030 --> 00:58:54,320
�i c�nd s� v� a�eza�i,
955
00:58:54,406 --> 00:58:56,826
cineva intr� �n toalet�
�i v� distrage aten�ia.
956
00:58:59,828 --> 00:59:02,078
Dar e prea t�rziu.
Ai genunchii �ndoi�i.
957
00:59:02,164 --> 00:59:05,134
�i dac� nu faci fitness,
nu mai po�i s� revii.
958
00:59:06,752 --> 00:59:09,092
Apoi atingi cu fundul colacul...
959
00:59:09,588 --> 00:59:11,718
�i faci...
960
00:59:11,798 --> 00:59:14,048
�i c�nd crezi c� mai r�u
de at�t nu se mai poate...
961
00:59:16,511 --> 00:59:19,931
�i toat� apa strope�te peste tot,
pe fundul t�u.
962
00:59:20,015 --> 00:59:22,885
Apoi apa se scurge
�n v�rtej,
963
00:59:22,976 --> 00:59:24,726
care trece chiar printre
picioarele tale.
964
00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:28,691
Acum ai un tsunami �n spate
�i o tornad� �n fa��.
965
00:59:28,774 --> 00:59:31,034
�i cine e victima? Pikachu!
966
00:59:35,322 --> 00:59:37,322
Care se aga�� de via��.
967
00:59:39,117 --> 00:59:40,487
Nici n-ai ajuns la momentul
magic �nc�
968
00:59:40,577 --> 00:59:42,697
�i deja ai fost violat
de �ev�raie.
969
00:59:44,623 --> 00:59:46,793
Apoi faci ce trebuie s� faci.
970
00:59:47,793 --> 00:59:49,213
Termini.
971
00:59:49,461 --> 00:59:51,091
E timpul s� te speli,
972
00:59:51,171 --> 00:59:52,631
e timpul pentru �ntre�inere.
973
00:59:53,131 --> 00:59:55,471
Te �ntinzi spre h�rtia igienic�.
974
00:59:55,550 --> 00:59:58,140
Problema cu toaletele
din ziua de azi
975
00:59:58,220 --> 01:00:01,970
e c� majoritatea,
ca asta,
976
01:00:02,057 --> 01:00:06,387
�n loc s� aib� o rol�
de h�rtie pentru oameni,
977
01:00:06,478 --> 01:00:10,478
�ntr-un dispenser
de m�rime uman�...
978
01:00:11,024 --> 01:00:13,194
ei cump�r� de la Costco
sau Sam's Club
979
01:00:13,276 --> 01:00:15,276
sau din locuri de unde
cumperi en-gros,
980
01:00:15,362 --> 01:00:18,532
�i pun role gigant,
ca pentru gorile.
981
01:00:19,074 --> 01:00:22,834
�i le �nghesuie s� intre �n
compartimentul �la mic...
982
01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:25,616
�i apoi �nchid u�i�a.
983
01:00:25,705 --> 01:00:28,035
A�a c� sulul �la uria�
e blocat �n�untru.
984
01:00:28,125 --> 01:00:29,705
Nici nu po�i s�-l �nv�r�i.
985
01:00:34,256 --> 01:00:38,086
Nici nu �tii unde e
cap�tul c� s-a lipit.
986
01:00:39,594 --> 01:00:42,014
Trebuie s� sco�i cheile
de la ma�in�
987
01:00:42,097 --> 01:00:45,512
�i s� tai ca pe un pachet de
cocain� �n serialul Narcos.
988
01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:50,400
�i iei h�rtia.
989
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,940
�ncerci s� te �tergi.
990
01:00:56,570 --> 01:00:58,240
Chicago, peste un an,
991
01:00:58,321 --> 01:01:00,411
v� prezic c� peste un an,
992
01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:05,120
vor prelua controlul
toaletelor 100%.
993
01:01:05,871 --> 01:01:08,171
O s� sta�i pe toalet� �i o
s� v� g�ndi�i la mine
994
01:01:08,248 --> 01:01:09,458
pentru c� o s� vede�i.
995
01:01:10,625 --> 01:01:12,085
O s� v� uita�i
dup� h�rtia igienic�,
996
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:15,049
�i o s� da�i de becule�ul
ro�u care clipe�te.
997
01:01:15,714 --> 01:01:18,224
O s� zice�i "Fluffy a avut
dreptate!"
998
01:01:19,801 --> 01:01:21,551
�i ce-o s� face�i?
999
01:01:23,555 --> 01:01:24,805
Un p�tr��el.
1000
01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,937
O s� deveni�i frustra�i
�i o s� �ncepe�i...
1001
01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:42,409
Scuze, frate, �tiu c� a fost
cam mult "culo", chiar �n fa�a ta.
1002
01:01:43,575 --> 01:01:46,445
Ea zice, "E ca Magic Mike!"
1003
01:01:48,747 --> 01:01:51,497
�mi cer scuze,
a fost mult.
1004
01:01:56,213 --> 01:01:58,263
�n�eleg...
1005
01:01:58,965 --> 01:02:01,585
�n�eleg de ce fac
asta cu toaletele,
1006
01:02:01,676 --> 01:02:03,966
de ce pun senzori
peste tot,
1007
01:02:04,054 --> 01:02:07,224
pentru c� vor s� economiseasc�
energia, apa.
1008
01:02:07,432 --> 01:02:08,732
Stau �n California.
1009
01:02:08,808 --> 01:02:11,808
Avem nevoie de ap�, da?
1010
01:02:11,895 --> 01:02:14,105
Dar unele locuri au nevoie
de senzori, altele nu.
1011
01:02:14,940 --> 01:02:18,530
Unele locuri ajut� s� ne �nve�e
cum s� economisim energia, apa.
1012
01:02:18,610 --> 01:02:22,200
Alte locuri nu se potrivesc,
cum ar fi hotelul unde stai.
1013
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:24,950
Fac un lucru simplu.
1014
01:02:25,492 --> 01:02:27,452
Au un bilet
1015
01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:30,575
care at�rn� de suportul
de prosoape din baie.
1016
01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:36,134
Spune, "V� rug�m economisi�i apa
prin reutilizarea prosopului."
1017
01:02:36,211 --> 01:02:39,261
Pe spate o diagram� arat�
c�te milioane de litri de ap�
1018
01:02:39,339 --> 01:02:41,759
sunt economisite anual c�nd
lumea reutilizeaz� prosoapele.
1019
01:02:41,841 --> 01:02:45,221
Le refolosesc acas�. N-am nici o
problem� s-o fac la hotel.
1020
01:02:45,303 --> 01:02:46,513
E prosopul meu.
1021
01:02:46,596 --> 01:02:48,676
Unii nu vor s� refoloseasc�
prosoapele.
1022
01:02:48,765 --> 01:02:50,725
Zic, "Prosopul �sta e murdar."
1023
01:02:50,809 --> 01:02:53,939
Dac� prosopul �la e murdar,
nu �tii s� faci du�.
1024
01:02:55,981 --> 01:02:58,821
Pentru c�, teoretic, prosopul
�la alb trebuie s� r�m�n� alb
1025
01:02:58,900 --> 01:03:00,860
de c�te ori �l folose�ti.
1026
01:03:00,944 --> 01:03:05,315
Dar nu, lumea �l ruleaz�
�i-l folose�te la modul "expert".
1027
01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:08,285
Apoi consumi mai mult� ap�
�ncerc�nd s�-l speli.
1028
01:03:09,119 --> 01:03:11,329
Cum spuneam, unele locuri
ne pot ajuta s� �nv���m
1029
01:03:11,413 --> 01:03:13,623
cum s� economisim
energie �i ap�.
1030
01:03:13,707 --> 01:03:15,497
Unele locuri nu pot.
1031
01:03:16,042 --> 01:03:19,592
Am fost la o universitate
de cur�nd, aproape de aici.
1032
01:03:20,046 --> 01:03:22,916
�i aceast� universitate
are o gr�mad� de bani,
1033
01:03:23,008 --> 01:03:28,048
at�t de mul�i �nc�t are
propria poli�ie de campus.
1034
01:03:28,138 --> 01:03:30,308
Doar pentru campus,
nu e mare lucru.
1035
01:03:30,390 --> 01:03:33,310
Sunt destule facult��i care au
propria poli�ie de campus.
1036
01:03:33,893 --> 01:03:37,613
Diferen�a este c� facultatea asta
1037
01:03:37,689 --> 01:03:43,699
a dat departamentului de poli�ie
Toyote Prius pentru patrulare.
1038
01:03:43,778 --> 01:03:46,198
Unii v�d c� �ti�i despre
ce universitate e vorba.
1039
01:03:46,281 --> 01:03:48,121
Fi�i aten�i, nici m�car
nu e o poant�.
1040
01:03:48,199 --> 01:03:51,789
Problema mea e c�,
dac� e�ti poli�ist...
1041
01:03:52,704 --> 01:03:54,584
sarcina ta e s� te
lup�i cu infractorii.
1042
01:03:55,165 --> 01:03:58,335
Primul lucru pe care lumea
�l vede c�nd ajungi la locul faptei
1043
01:03:58,418 --> 01:04:00,918
este vehiculul t�u.
1044
01:04:01,921 --> 01:04:05,431
Vehiculul trebuie s� stabileasc�
o stare de dominare a situa�iei
1045
01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,508
�nainte s� ie�i din el.
1046
01:04:08,178 --> 01:04:09,428
�n California,
1047
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:14,392
peste 65% din poli�i�tii de
autostrad� conduc SUV-uri.
1048
01:04:14,476 --> 01:04:16,936
C�nd te opresc acolo,
o sim�i.
1049
01:04:17,020 --> 01:04:18,650
E�ti intimidat.
1050
01:04:23,943 --> 01:04:26,823
Lumea sare pe autostrad�:
"Nu m� omor�!"
1051
01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:30,284
Acum, imagina�i-v� cum e
s� fi�i opri�i de...
1052
01:04:34,954 --> 01:04:38,334
S� nu m� opreasc� pe mine
un poli�ist, �n Prius...
1053
01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:40,669
...�i arogant.
1054
01:04:42,253 --> 01:04:43,843
"�tii de ce te-am oprit?"
1055
01:04:43,922 --> 01:04:45,762
"C� te-am l�sat eu?"
1056
01:04:51,805 --> 01:04:54,175
V� imagina�i c�nd au
oprit un beat prima dat�?
1057
01:04:54,265 --> 01:04:57,595
Poli�istul probabil nici nu s-a
dat jos. A vorbit prin sta�ie.
1058
01:04:57,685 --> 01:05:01,515
"Domnule, cobor��i din ma�in� imediat!"
"Bine, bine."
1059
01:05:01,606 --> 01:05:03,016
"Gata!"
1060
01:05:05,652 --> 01:05:07,918
"E Prius �la?"
1061
01:05:08,905 --> 01:05:11,164
"Cred c� sunt beat."
1062
01:05:11,866 --> 01:05:14,906
"Domnule, merge�i pe linie!"
"Bine, bine..."
1063
01:05:14,994 --> 01:05:16,544
"Dle poli�ist?"
1064
01:05:16,621 --> 01:05:18,676
"Dac� m� duc la pu�c�rie,"
1065
01:05:18,676 --> 01:05:22,031
"poate s� vin� un poli�ist cu o
ma�in� adev�rat� s� m� ia?"
1066
01:05:22,293 --> 01:05:23,923
"Nu mai face pe de�teptul,
mergi pe linie!"
1067
01:05:24,003 --> 01:05:26,513
"Bine, bine. Repede, repede..."
1068
01:05:26,589 --> 01:05:29,412
"�ncarc�-mi mobilul."
1069
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:34,055
"P�n� aici! Mergi la pu�c�rie!"
1070
01:05:43,606 --> 01:05:45,066
Nu �tiu, frate...
1071
01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:48,400
Da, domnule?
Que paso?
1072
01:05:51,531 --> 01:05:54,157
�i eu te iubesc, frate.
Trimite-mi un tort, f�r� zah�r!
1073
01:05:57,412 --> 01:05:59,582
Mul�umesc. Trebuie s� fiu atent,
era s� cad aici.
1074
01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:03,170
Zice: "Te prind eu!"
M� prinzi tu �i tu �i tu...
1075
01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:07,343
E ca la SeaWorld, dar f�r� ap�.
1076
01:06:09,007 --> 01:06:12,677
Trebuie s� am grij�, prieteni,
c� am observat,
1077
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,890
dup� 6 show-uri,
1078
01:06:14,971 --> 01:06:18,601
c� multe dintre subiectele
�i pove�tile mele
1079
01:06:18,683 --> 01:06:21,563
au ajuns s� m� b�ntuie.
1080
01:06:22,437 --> 01:06:26,017
Unele �n mod pozitiv,
altele mai pu�in.
1081
01:06:26,107 --> 01:06:28,187
De exemplu, �n 1997...
1082
01:06:28,693 --> 01:06:32,073
la tv am spus o dat�,
1083
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:35,065
c� �mi place la nebunie
"tortul de ciocolat�".
1084
01:06:35,909 --> 01:06:36,989
O singur� dat�.
1085
01:06:37,660 --> 01:06:39,410
19 ani mai t�rziu,
1086
01:06:39,496 --> 01:06:42,536
lumea �nc� �mi mai aduce
torturi de ciocolat�.
1087
01:06:43,625 --> 01:06:46,125
E nebunie. G�ndi�i-v�.
1088
01:06:46,211 --> 01:06:48,251
Dup� 19 ani �nc� mai
primesc torturi.
1089
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:49,758
�i am spus-o o singur� dat�.
1090
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:53,180
Apoi am spus c�-mi plac
sucurile dietetice.
1091
01:06:53,676 --> 01:06:55,796
Imediat, lumea a �nceput s�-mi
aduc� sucuri dietetice.
1092
01:06:56,304 --> 01:06:57,974
�n urm�torul show, "Aloha Fluffy",
1093
01:06:58,056 --> 01:07:00,516
am spus despre cum
a crescut fii-miu,
1094
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:03,850
despre hormoni �i c�
trebuia s� se dea cu spray.
1095
01:07:03,937 --> 01:07:05,897
Imediat, prietenii lui au �nceput
s�-i trimit� deodorante
1096
01:07:05,980 --> 01:07:09,070
�i s� mi le aduc� mie la
spectacol ca s� i le dau eu.
1097
01:07:10,485 --> 01:07:12,775
�n acela�i show, "Aloha Fluffy"...
1098
01:07:13,279 --> 01:07:16,159
am povestit o �nt�mplare care
a devenit viral�,
1099
01:07:16,241 --> 01:07:19,541
�i care se numea
"Co�ul rasist de daruri".
1100
01:07:22,247 --> 01:07:25,247
Povestea �n sine
dureaz� cam 15 minute, da?
1101
01:07:25,792 --> 01:07:30,262
O s� v� spun versiunea de
3 minute a pove�tii
1102
01:07:30,338 --> 01:07:32,588
ca s� �n�elege�i despre
ce e vorba.
1103
01:07:33,216 --> 01:07:36,386
Pe scurt, Martin �i cu mine aveam
un show �n Sacramento, California.
1104
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:38,759
Mergeam cu ma�ina
din LA spre Sacramento.
1105
01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:41,676
Am trecut printr-un mic
ora�, numit Fresno.
1106
01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:43,767
�n timp ce treceam prin Fresno,
1107
01:07:43,851 --> 01:07:46,311
am dat de un promoter local
care face show-uri acolo.
1108
01:07:46,396 --> 01:07:47,556
Suntem prieteni buni cu el.
1109
01:07:47,647 --> 01:07:49,977
Noi voiam
s� lu�m masa cu el,
1110
01:07:50,066 --> 01:07:53,146
�i ne spune c� e ocupat,
dar G Reilly e �n ora�.
1111
01:07:53,236 --> 01:07:55,196
�i noi, "I-auzi! Prietenul nostru
G Reilly e aici!"
1112
01:07:55,780 --> 01:07:57,660
E la hotel.
1113
01:07:57,740 --> 01:07:59,280
�tiam exact unde st�tea.
1114
01:07:59,367 --> 01:08:02,117
Zic, "Martin, ce-ar fi s�-i
facem o vizit�?"
1115
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:03,413
Martin zice, "Hai!"
1116
01:08:03,496 --> 01:08:05,963
Prima dat� m-am g�ndit s�-i lu�m
ni�te sucuri, b�uturi,
1117
01:08:05,963 --> 01:08:07,173
s�-i facem o surpriz�.
1118
01:08:07,373 --> 01:08:12,010
Am intrat �n magazin �i am
v�zut o gr�mad� de co�uri.
1119
01:08:12,088 --> 01:08:14,878
Martin zice, "Ar trebui
s�-i lu�m un co� de cadouri."
1120
01:08:14,966 --> 01:08:18,086
�i zic, "Martin, lui G Reilly
nu-i plac co�urile astea, da?"
1121
01:08:18,177 --> 01:08:21,507
"Nu-i plac vinurile de fi�e,
br�nza �i c�rna�ii."
1122
01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:23,808
"�i sigur nici biscui�ii."
1123
01:08:23,891 --> 01:08:27,691
Nici nu �ti�i de ce e
a�a de haios.
1124
01:08:27,770 --> 01:08:29,560
Dar, m� rog...
1125
01:08:29,647 --> 01:08:31,147
Zic, "Ce zici de asta, Martin?"
1126
01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:33,192
"Nu �tie c� venim, hai
s� facem mi�to de el."
1127
01:08:33,276 --> 01:08:36,776
"Ce zici s�-i facem un
co� de cadouri rasiste?"
1128
01:08:36,863 --> 01:08:38,073
Martin zice, "Ce-i �sta?"
1129
01:08:38,156 --> 01:08:39,986
"�tii, un co� de cadouri rasiste,"
1130
01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:44,310
"cu care s� faci mi�to de
cineva dintr-o ras� anume."
1131
01:08:44,537 --> 01:08:46,367
"�n cazul lui G, e negru."
1132
01:08:46,456 --> 01:08:47,536
Era u�or.
1133
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:50,955
Am spus u�or, nu s� fii mitocan.
1134
01:08:51,044 --> 01:08:53,594
Am zis u�or, pentru c�
sunt multe stereotipuri
1135
01:08:53,671 --> 01:08:55,591
referitoare la
afro-americani.
1136
01:08:55,673 --> 01:08:57,973
A�a c� aveam co�ul �sta gol.
1137
01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,431
Ce punem �n el?
1138
01:08:59,510 --> 01:09:02,970
Pui fript, pepene, Kool-Aid,
suc de grape-fruit,
1139
01:09:03,056 --> 01:09:05,346
cartofi pr�ji�i, semin�e de
floara-soarelui,
1140
01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:06,733
o revist� "Ebony",
1141
01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:09,899
un DVD cu Chris Rock intitulat
"Mai mare �i mai neagr�",
1142
01:09:09,979 --> 01:09:12,109
prezervative Magnum,
�ig�ri Newport,
1143
01:09:12,190 --> 01:09:14,400
ni�te coaste, re�eta pentru
p�ine de porumb,
1144
01:09:14,484 --> 01:09:17,534
Am pus de toate, mai pu�in
un fund mare de fat� alb�.
1145
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:23,334
Le-am �mpachetat frumos,
i-am pus o fund� dr�gu��,
1146
01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:24,739
�i am plecat spre hotel.
1147
01:09:24,827 --> 01:09:27,327
O fat� de la recep�ie
i l-a dus �n camer�.
1148
01:09:27,413 --> 01:09:30,543
Martin �i cu mine a�teptam pe hol,
unde nu putea s� ne vad�.
1149
01:09:30,625 --> 01:09:32,535
Fata bate la u��.
1150
01:09:32,627 --> 01:09:35,167
G Reilly deschide u�a,
ea �i d� co�ul.
1151
01:09:35,254 --> 01:09:38,094
Zice, "Mul�umesc" �i
�nchide u�a.
1152
01:09:38,174 --> 01:09:39,554
Martin �i cu mine ne
repezim la u��,
1153
01:09:39,634 --> 01:09:42,724
s� ascult�m cum desface
co�ul cu cadouri.
1154
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:46,271
Pe m�sur� ce-l desf�cea,
era tot mai �nc�ntat.
1155
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:52,810
�i se bucura de fiecare
lucru pe care-l pusesem �n co�.
1156
01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:56,817
S-a bucurat p�n� �i-a dat
seama c� e o fars�,
1157
01:09:56,901 --> 01:09:59,361
�i s-a speriat c�nd
a citit felicitarea.
1158
01:10:00,071 --> 01:10:02,491
S-a speriat de felicitare
1159
01:10:02,573 --> 01:10:06,373
pentru c� a crezut c�
Ku Klux Klan �i trimisese co�ul.
1160
01:10:07,745 --> 01:10:09,615
Unii se �ntreab�,
"De ce ar fi crezut asta?"
1161
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:11,846
Pentru c� asta am scris noi.
1162
01:10:12,542 --> 01:10:16,052
Dac� faci o fars�, ori o faci
serios, ori n-o mai faci.
1163
01:10:16,129 --> 01:10:19,169
Deci s-a speriat �i a �ncercat
s� ias� din camer�.
1164
01:10:19,257 --> 01:10:22,427
Cum a ie�it pe hol, ne-a v�zut
pe am�ndoi r�z�nd
1165
01:10:22,510 --> 01:10:25,734
�i-a dat seama ce e,
a�a c� a t�b�r�t pe noi.
1166
01:10:25,934 --> 01:10:29,350
Ne-a iertat, ne-am �mbr��i�at
�i am intrat �n camer�.
1167
01:10:29,434 --> 01:10:31,564
�i apoi i-am m�ncat puiul.
1168
01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:38,438
Faza e c� �nt�mplarea a
f�cut v�lv� pe Comedy Central.
1169
01:10:38,526 --> 01:10:40,446
Lumea riposta a�a c� au scos-o.
1170
01:10:40,528 --> 01:10:43,568
Apoi am pus-o pe YouTube.
1171
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:45,526
10 milioane de vizion�ri
a avut pe YouTube.
1172
01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:48,906
Apoi au blocat-o din cauza
cuv�ntului "rasist" din titlu.
1173
01:10:48,995 --> 01:10:51,035
A�a c� au scos-o,
iar eu am re�nc�rcat-o.
1174
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:53,712
Alte 10 milioane de vizualiz�ri,
apoi lumea i-a dat "share".
1175
01:10:53,791 --> 01:10:56,001
Una peste alta, filmule�ul
probabil c� a str�ns
1176
01:10:56,085 --> 01:10:58,665
peste 100 milioane
vizualiz�ri.
1177
01:10:58,755 --> 01:11:00,766
Iat� ce a urmat.
1178
01:11:01,758 --> 01:11:03,211
Exact ca la...
1179
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:05,949
tortul de ciocolat�...
1180
01:11:11,642 --> 01:11:13,557
sucurile dietetice...
1181
01:11:13,895 --> 01:11:15,597
�i deodorantul...
1182
01:11:15,797 --> 01:11:18,895
m-am trezit c� lumea
a �nceput s�-mi aduc�...
1183
01:11:19,734 --> 01:11:22,593
co�uri de cadouri rasiste
pentru mexicani.
1184
01:11:27,909 --> 01:11:30,699
Prima dat� c�nd am v�zut...
Nu v� mint,
1185
01:11:30,787 --> 01:11:33,707
a fost haios pentru c� erau
de la al�i mexicani
1186
01:11:33,790 --> 01:11:36,830
care mi le-au adus.
1187
01:11:36,918 --> 01:11:38,798
Era dup� un show �n LA.
1188
01:11:38,878 --> 01:11:41,298
Vine un tip cu un co�
din �sta,
1189
01:11:41,380 --> 01:11:44,180
"Salut, prietene! �i-am adus
un co� rasist."
1190
01:11:44,258 --> 01:11:47,834
Eu �i zic, "Dar suntem la fel."
"Ce dac�!", "Bine, ce dac�!"
1191
01:11:49,222 --> 01:11:50,392
L-am dus �n culise,
1192
01:11:50,473 --> 01:11:55,273
�i toate lucrurile din co�
le-am dus acas�.
1193
01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:57,523
Era o p�tur� mexican�
cu un tigru pe ea,
1194
01:11:57,605 --> 01:12:00,355
ni�te cutii de Fanta,
sticle de sangria,
1195
01:12:00,441 --> 01:12:02,651
CD-uri cu Vicente Fernandez,
bomboane mexicane,
1196
01:12:02,735 --> 01:12:04,895
"pan dulce", p�ine dulce,
"mazapanes".
1197
01:12:04,987 --> 01:12:07,317
Pe toate le-am dus acas�.
1198
01:12:08,199 --> 01:12:09,199
Acum...
1199
01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:15,313
cu c�t mergeam spre est �i
ne �ndreptam spre sud,
1200
01:12:16,123 --> 01:12:17,123
cu at�t mai...
1201
01:12:19,710 --> 01:12:20,920
creative...
1202
01:12:22,255 --> 01:12:24,665
deveneau co�urile
de cadouri.
1203
01:12:24,757 --> 01:12:27,927
Ajungem �n Mobile, Alabama.
1204
01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:31,256
Devine tare.
1205
01:12:33,307 --> 01:12:36,137
Seara, �nainte de spectacol,
1206
01:12:36,227 --> 01:12:39,267
Martin f�cea c�teva
anun�uri.
1207
01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,515
Unul dintre anun�uri spunea,
1208
01:12:41,607 --> 01:12:45,527
"Dac� a�i adus un cadou, v� rug�m
a�tepta�i p�n� dup� show."
1209
01:12:45,611 --> 01:12:46,781
"Nu-l aduce�i pe scen�."
1210
01:12:46,863 --> 01:12:48,493
"Ar putea �ntrerupe
desf�urarea lui."
1211
01:12:49,073 --> 01:12:52,373
Motivul pentru care f�cea
anun�ul �sta
1212
01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:54,581
�n fiecare sear�,
1213
01:12:54,662 --> 01:12:57,122
este din cauza unui
singur show �n Mobile.
1214
01:12:57,665 --> 01:12:58,665
Iat� ce s-a �nt�mplat.
1215
01:12:59,250 --> 01:13:01,500
Spun toat� povestea cu co�ul rasist,
1216
01:13:01,586 --> 01:13:02,956
cele 16 minute, da?
1217
01:13:03,045 --> 01:13:06,585
Cum am terminat,
un tip din fundul s�lii
1218
01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,384
se repede spre scen�.
1219
01:13:08,467 --> 01:13:10,797
Nu uita�i c� sala era plin�.
1220
01:13:10,887 --> 01:13:13,597
�n Mobile culoarul
era chiar pe centru.
1221
01:13:13,681 --> 01:13:15,601
A�a c� tipul avea drum
drept spre mine.
1222
01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:18,393
A alergat ca la "Pre�ul corect"
p�n� jos.
1223
01:13:20,855 --> 01:13:23,935
Ca �i acum,
erau echipe de ordine.
1224
01:13:24,025 --> 01:13:28,355
L-au v�zut pe tip, dar n-a
intervenit nimeni.
1225
01:13:29,530 --> 01:13:31,990
Au f�cut doar:
"Ce dr�gu�!"
1226
01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:34,080
Da, dr�gu�.
1227
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:37,040
A�a c� tipul vine p�n�
�n fa�� cu co�ul,
1228
01:13:37,121 --> 01:13:38,661
�i-l pune pe scen�.
1229
01:13:38,748 --> 01:13:40,708
Apoi strig� la mine.
1230
01:13:40,791 --> 01:13:43,881
Eu st�team cam aici �i
el strig�: "Fluffy!"
1231
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,297
"Salut, omule!"
"�i-am adus asta."
1232
01:13:47,924 --> 01:13:48,804
"Mul�umesc."
1233
01:13:48,883 --> 01:13:49,973
"Deschide-l!"
1234
01:13:51,010 --> 01:13:53,350
"Dle, suntem �n mijlocul
spectacolului."
1235
01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:55,929
"Apreciez darul. E foarte
frumos din partea dvs."
1236
01:13:56,015 --> 01:13:58,055
"Ce zice�i de asta?
�l deschid dup� show."
1237
01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:00,692
"Haide, Fluffy! Vreau s�
v�d ce fa�� faci."
1238
01:14:01,187 --> 01:14:02,017
"Dle, ce zice�i de asta?"
1239
01:14:02,104 --> 01:14:05,904
"Duce�i co�ul �n spate"
1240
01:14:05,983 --> 01:14:08,363
"�i o s� le spun celor de la
paz� s� v� aduc� �n culise."
1241
01:14:08,444 --> 01:14:11,574
"�i o s� desfac co�ul �n culise
de fa�� cu dvs. Cum e ?"
1242
01:14:11,656 --> 01:14:13,316
Omul nu accepta refuzuri.
1243
01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:18,787
Problema era c� lumea tocmai
m� v�zuse povestind despre co�
1244
01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:21,461
�i, deodat�, apare un tip
cu un co� la fel.
1245
01:14:21,540 --> 01:14:24,090
Lumea nu �tia c� n-am
nici o leg�tur�
1246
01:14:24,168 --> 01:14:26,458
cu ciudatul din serialul
Duck Dynasty din fa��.
1247
01:14:28,047 --> 01:14:31,717
A�a c� �ncercam s�
dezamorsez situa�ia,
1248
01:14:31,801 --> 01:14:33,931
dar tipul nu ceda deloc.
1249
01:14:34,011 --> 01:14:37,931
Apoi face ceva ce nimeni
altcineva n-a f�cut vreodat�
1250
01:14:38,015 --> 01:14:40,685
�n cei 19 ani de c�nd
sunt comic.
1251
01:14:41,185 --> 01:14:46,015
Preia publicul de la mine �i-l
�ntoarce �mpotriva mea...
1252
01:14:46,482 --> 01:14:48,442
�n 5 secunde.
1253
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:52,406
A fost cel mai uimitor �i mai
�nfrico��tor lucru pe care l-am tr�it.
1254
01:14:52,989 --> 01:14:54,119
A f�cut numai at�t:
1255
01:14:54,198 --> 01:14:55,778
"Haide, Fluffy!"
1256
01:14:55,866 --> 01:14:59,106
"Vrem s� vedem ce fa�� faci!"
1257
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:04,039
A f�cut ca 2000 de oameni
s� scandeze cu el.
1258
01:15:04,125 --> 01:15:06,125
"Vrem s� vedem ce fa�� faci!"
1259
01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:12,054
Era evident c� nu era la
prima r�scoal� pe care o conducea.
1260
01:15:15,636 --> 01:15:17,136
Publicul striga at�t de tare,
1261
01:15:17,221 --> 01:15:19,471
c� nu m� mai auzeam
�n monitor.
1262
01:15:19,557 --> 01:15:21,977
Eram pierdut. A�a c� mi-am
pus m�inile pe genunchi.
1263
01:15:22,059 --> 01:15:24,349
Am l�sat microfonul jos,
am luat co�ul,
1264
01:15:24,437 --> 01:15:26,107
�i am �nceput s�-l desfac.
1265
01:15:26,188 --> 01:15:27,398
Am b�gat m�na.
1266
01:15:27,481 --> 01:15:32,031
Uita�i de sucuri mexicane sau
bomboane sau p�turi.
1267
01:15:32,111 --> 01:15:33,991
Tipul era profesionist.
1268
01:15:35,322 --> 01:15:38,082
Am scos unelte de gr�din�rit
de juc�rie.
1269
01:15:44,915 --> 01:15:48,495
Am scos o grebl�, o lopat�,
suflant� de frunze...
1270
01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:50,666
"Mai scoate, Fluffy!
Mai scoate!"
1271
01:15:50,755 --> 01:15:53,585
Am scos o minge de fotbal.
"Frate, aici scrie Puerto Rico!"
1272
01:15:53,674 --> 01:15:56,136
"Se terminaser� alea
cu Mexic."
1273
01:15:57,094 --> 01:15:59,764
Am scos o c�r�mid�.
"Asta pentru ce e?"
1274
01:15:59,847 --> 01:16:01,701
"Pentru zid."
1275
01:16:03,601 --> 01:16:08,271
Am scos un formular pentru
cet��enie american�.
1276
01:16:11,067 --> 01:16:13,107
Am zis: "Mai r�u de at�t
nu poate s� fie."
1277
01:16:13,194 --> 01:16:14,284
"Mai scoate!"
1278
01:16:14,361 --> 01:16:15,531
M� �n�elasem.
1279
01:16:16,322 --> 01:16:19,872
Am scos o cutie de carioci.
1280
01:16:19,950 --> 01:16:22,830
�l �ti�i setul de 64 buc��i?
1281
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,292
A�a.
1282
01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:26,121
Cu un plastic transparent
�n fa��
1283
01:16:26,207 --> 01:16:29,707
ca s� vezi culoarea
cariocilor din cutie.
1284
01:16:29,794 --> 01:16:32,054
Toate cariocile erau maro,
1285
01:16:32,129 --> 01:16:36,009
�n afar� de una alb�
chiar �n mijloc.
1286
01:16:36,092 --> 01:16:39,642
"Asta ce dracu' �nseamn�?"
1287
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:44,013
Se uit� la mine �i zice:
"Bine ai venit �n lumea mea!"
1288
01:16:50,189 --> 01:16:52,899
Lumea r�dea at�t de tare,
1289
01:16:52,983 --> 01:16:56,363
�nc�t �tiam c� n-am nici o
poant� pe m�sur�.
1290
01:16:56,904 --> 01:16:59,164
A�a c� am �ncercat s�
�nchei show-ul.
1291
01:16:59,240 --> 01:17:02,160
Am luat co�ul �i am zis,
"Mul�umesc, Mobile!"
1292
01:17:03,494 --> 01:17:05,914
�i i-am aruncat tipului o
privire dur�: "Tic�losule!"
1293
01:17:09,458 --> 01:17:12,288
M-am dus �n culise,
acolo m� a�tepta Martin.
1294
01:17:12,378 --> 01:17:15,633
Zice, "Frate..."
1295
01:17:15,633 --> 01:17:17,519
"I-ai omor�t acolo!"
1296
01:17:18,008 --> 01:17:20,548
"Martin, nici m�car nu
r�deau la glumele mele."
1297
01:17:20,636 --> 01:17:23,176
"Dar de ce r�deau?"
�i i-am ar�tat formularul.
1298
01:17:23,264 --> 01:17:25,064
Face...
1299
01:17:25,516 --> 01:17:27,936
"Nu e�ti prietenul meu!"
1300
01:17:28,853 --> 01:17:31,773
Am intrat �n cabin�, furios.
1301
01:17:31,856 --> 01:17:34,476
�nchid u�a.
1302
01:17:34,567 --> 01:17:36,397
Pun co�ul jos,
m� scarpin �n cap.
1303
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:38,815
�i m� tot g�ndeam
cum a� fi putut
1304
01:17:38,904 --> 01:17:41,284
s� previn tot ceea ce
s-a �nt�mplat?
1305
01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:44,115
Trebuia s� iau co�ul,
s�-l pun deoparte?
1306
01:17:44,201 --> 01:17:47,331
S� pun paza s�-l ia pe tip?
Pe tip cu co� cu tot?
1307
01:17:47,413 --> 01:17:51,133
Toate ideile care-mi veneau
se terminau mai r�u.
1308
01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:53,038
�n final, m� resemnez.
1309
01:17:53,127 --> 01:17:54,667
M� bag la du�.
1310
01:17:54,753 --> 01:17:57,383
Ies. M� �mbrac. Apare paza.
1311
01:17:57,464 --> 01:17:58,924
"Dle Iglesias?"
1312
01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:00,008
"Da."
"Gata?"
1313
01:18:00,092 --> 01:18:03,512
"Da, o secund�."
�mi iau rucsacul,
1314
01:18:03,596 --> 01:18:07,136
deschid u�a, "Haide!"
1315
01:18:07,224 --> 01:18:10,064
Bodyguardul vede co�ul
pe scaun,
1316
01:18:10,144 --> 01:18:12,064
�i �ncearc� s� fie politicos.
1317
01:18:12,146 --> 01:18:13,556
"�l iau eu, dle."
1318
01:18:15,733 --> 01:18:17,033
"Da...ia-l."
1319
01:18:18,986 --> 01:18:22,160
Nu �tii niciodat� c�nd
��i trebuie un formular de-�la.
1320
01:18:24,491 --> 01:18:29,371
Apoi am ie�it din teatru �i
ne �ndreptam spre parcarea goal�
1321
01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:31,915
spre autobuzul care era
�n cap�tul parc�rii.
1322
01:18:32,875 --> 01:18:34,785
Mergeam de vreo 4 minute.
1323
01:18:34,877 --> 01:18:36,957
Deodat� aud asta:
1324
01:18:37,463 --> 01:18:39,593
"Fluffy!"
1325
01:18:39,673 --> 01:18:41,553
"Fluffy!"
1326
01:18:46,722 --> 01:18:48,432
"M� strig� ca pe animale?"
1327
01:18:49,141 --> 01:18:50,681
"A�a pare, dle."
1328
01:18:51,477 --> 01:18:54,017
Era tipul cu co�ul,
1329
01:18:54,104 --> 01:18:56,404
care st�tea l�ng�
autobuzul nostru.
1330
01:18:56,482 --> 01:18:58,282
A�a c� nu puteam s�
trec pe l�ng� el.
1331
01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:01,276
Am zis, "B�i, frate!",
�i ne-am oprit.
1332
01:19:01,278 --> 01:19:03,322
Bodyguardul zice:
"Vre�i s� chem �nt�riri?"
1333
01:19:03,405 --> 01:19:05,445
"Nu-i nevoie, n-o
s�-mi fac� nimic."
1334
01:19:05,532 --> 01:19:06,832
"Doar c� devine ciudat."
1335
01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:10,750
Scot mobilul �i �i
scriu lui Martin.
1336
01:19:10,829 --> 01:19:12,919
"Vino �ncoace, Martin."
N-a r�spuns.
1337
01:19:12,998 --> 01:19:15,828
Tipul se plictise�te a�tept�nd
la autobuz.
1338
01:19:15,918 --> 01:19:17,748
A�a c� se �ndreapt� spre mine,
1339
01:19:17,752 --> 01:19:20,336
dar o face �ntr-un mod
total ciudat.
1340
01:19:20,672 --> 01:19:23,802
Venea spre mine de parc�
eram un animal periculos.
1341
01:19:24,426 --> 01:19:26,676
F�cea..."Fluffy!"
1342
01:19:31,809 --> 01:19:33,389
"N-o s�-�i fac nimic!"
1343
01:19:33,477 --> 01:19:35,597
Se apropia de noi
�i zicea,
1344
01:19:35,688 --> 01:19:37,108
"Uite ce e, Fluffster."
1345
01:19:37,189 --> 01:19:39,649
"D�-mi voie s�-�i spun
ceva chiar acum."
1346
01:19:39,733 --> 01:19:42,153
"�i-am urm�rit show-urile
de 7 ani,"
1347
01:19:42,236 --> 01:19:43,896
"�i poanta mea favorit�"
1348
01:19:43,988 --> 01:19:47,028
"e co�ul cu cadouri pe care i l-ai
dat prietenului t�u colorat, G."
1349
01:19:47,116 --> 01:19:49,406
"Frate, c�nd am auzit
prima dat� povestea,"
1350
01:19:49,493 --> 01:19:51,503
"am vrut s� r�d �n hohote,
dar nu puteam, �tii?"
1351
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,828
"C� st�team �ntr-un bar
l�ng� 2 negri."
1352
01:19:53,914 --> 01:19:56,214
"Nu po�i s� r�zi la o glum�
cu negri, st�nd �ntre 2 negri,"
1353
01:19:56,292 --> 01:19:58,252
"c� se ofuscheaz�,
�ncep cu drepturile omului,"
1354
01:19:58,335 --> 01:19:59,795
"cu Rosa Parks �i alte rahaturi."
1355
01:19:59,878 --> 01:20:02,418
"�i am votat cu Obama,
dar e prea devreme s� r�dem."
1356
01:20:02,506 --> 01:20:03,466
"M� �n�elegi?"
1357
01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:06,389
"Mi-am dus fundul fericit acas�
�i am c�utat pe internet"
1358
01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:08,888
"-co�ul cu cadouri rasiste-
�i am dat de povestea ta,"
1359
01:20:08,971 --> 01:20:13,231
"�i am r�s pe s�turate, zic�nd,
�mi place umorul lui Fluffy!"
1360
01:20:13,309 --> 01:20:15,269
"�i place s� for�eze nota
cu prietenii lui,"
1361
01:20:15,352 --> 01:20:18,942
"�i nu las� principiile rigide
s� afecteze prieteniile adev�rate."
1362
01:20:19,023 --> 01:20:20,983
"La sf�r�it, sunte�i prieteni,"
1363
01:20:21,066 --> 01:20:23,646
"v� iubi�i �i v� respecta�i
unul pe cel�lalt."
1364
01:20:23,736 --> 01:20:27,236
"Mi-am zis, dac� Fluffster �i
aduce vreodat� fundul aici �n Mobile,"
1365
01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:29,413
"sunt primul la r�nd
s� cump�r bilet."
1366
01:20:29,491 --> 01:20:31,791
"�i ai venit.
A�a c� le-am zis prietenilor,"
1367
01:20:31,869 --> 01:20:33,949
"Hai s�-l vedem pe Fluffster."
1368
01:20:34,038 --> 01:20:37,118
"Le-am zis, pun pariu c�
i-ar pl�cea"
1369
01:20:37,207 --> 01:20:40,627
"dac� cineva i-ar duce un co�
din �la cum i-a dus el lui G."
1370
01:20:40,711 --> 01:20:43,091
"Doar c� �ie �i-am adus
un co� UPS."
1371
01:20:43,172 --> 01:20:44,512
"Co� UPS?"
1372
01:20:44,590 --> 01:20:48,302
"Da, what can brown do for you?
(motto UPS)"
1373
01:20:49,678 --> 01:20:52,348
"Dar n-ai r�s."
1374
01:20:52,431 --> 01:20:55,481
"Te-ai sim�it jignit �i
eu n-am vrut asta, Fluffster."
1375
01:20:55,559 --> 01:20:56,689
"Voiam s� r�zi."
1376
01:20:56,769 --> 01:21:00,019
"Problema e c�,
n-am vrut s� crezi"
1377
01:21:00,105 --> 01:21:02,775
"c� Mobile e un loc groaznic
�i c� oamenii de aici sunt r�i."
1378
01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:06,488
"Voiam doar s� ne distr�m,
a�a cum ai f�cut tu cu G."
1379
01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:09,370
"Muncim din greu aici,
40 de ore pe s�pt�m�n� eu."
1380
01:21:09,448 --> 01:21:12,988
"�i am investit at��ia
bani �i timp �n co�ul �la"
1381
01:21:13,077 --> 01:21:14,657
"doar pentru c� te iubim."
1382
01:21:14,745 --> 01:21:18,415
"Ai idee c�t timp am pierdut
pe nenorocirea aia de internet"
1383
01:21:18,499 --> 01:21:21,089
"ca s� g�sesc un formular
pentru cet��enie american�?"
1384
01:21:22,586 --> 01:21:25,843
"�n englez�? E�ti nebun?"
1385
01:21:26,048 --> 01:21:27,338
"Toate sunt �n spaniol�."
1386
01:21:27,424 --> 01:21:29,764
"Am votat cu Obama,
n-am timp de de-astea."
1387
01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:33,805
"Concluzia e c� �mi pare r�u
c� �i-am tulburat spectacolul."
1388
01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,019
"Nu se va mai �nt�mpla."
1389
01:21:36,100 --> 01:21:38,020
"Voiam doar s�-�i zic
c�-mi pare r�u,"
1390
01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:41,272
"�i c� sper c� vei face
o poz� cu mine."
1391
01:21:41,355 --> 01:21:42,185
"�mi pare r�u."
1392
01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:44,692
M-am g�ndit,
"Sunt un mitocan."
1393
01:21:47,069 --> 01:21:49,069
"Dle, nu trebuie s�-�i ceri scuze."
1394
01:21:49,154 --> 01:21:52,374
"Eu ar trebui s�-mi cer pentru
c� n-am reac�ionat cum trebuie."
1395
01:21:52,449 --> 01:21:54,159
"Dar trebuie s� vezi din
perspectiva mea."
1396
01:21:54,243 --> 01:21:57,703
"Niciodat� nu mi-a luat cineva
publicul de sub control."
1397
01:21:57,788 --> 01:22:00,668
"�i-a pl�cut, nu?"
"M� ascul�i?"
1398
01:22:01,542 --> 01:22:03,292
"Da, n-a fost r�u."
1399
01:22:03,377 --> 01:22:06,627
"�mi pare r�u c� m-am ofuscat.
E prima dat� c�nd mi s-a �nt�mplat."
1400
01:22:06,713 --> 01:22:09,223
"Nu se va mai �nt�mpla,
nu trebuie s�-�i ceri scuze."
1401
01:22:09,299 --> 01:22:11,469
"Sunt bucuros s� facem
o poz� �mpreun�."
1402
01:22:11,552 --> 01:22:13,852
"Vezi? Vezi?"
1403
01:22:13,929 --> 01:22:17,719
"Asta spuneam!"
1404
01:22:17,808 --> 01:22:20,018
"To�i prietenii mei ziceau,
d�-l dracu' pe mexicanu �la."
1405
01:22:20,102 --> 01:22:22,022
"Eu ziceam, nu. Nu."
1406
01:22:22,104 --> 01:22:23,864
"Mexicanul �la e b�iat bun."
1407
01:22:32,614 --> 01:22:34,744
Apoi �i-a scos aparatul.
1408
01:22:39,496 --> 01:22:42,746
�i �ncerca s�-i dea camera
foto de unic� folosin��
1409
01:22:42,833 --> 01:22:44,543
bodyguardului de 19 ani
1410
01:22:44,626 --> 01:22:47,416
care nu era obi�nuit cu
tehnologia aia.
1411
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:50,967
A pus jos co�ul,
a luat aparatul.
1412
01:22:51,049 --> 01:22:53,339
C�uta o aplica�ie,
c�uta ecranul tactil.
1413
01:22:53,427 --> 01:22:57,307
�ntre timp, tipul voia
s� m� ia de umeri.
1414
01:22:57,389 --> 01:23:00,269
Era pu�in mai scund ca mine,
a�a c� a trebuit s� stau a�a, da?
1415
01:23:00,350 --> 01:23:03,060
M-a prins de g�t �i
a �nceput.
1416
01:23:03,145 --> 01:23:05,855
"Uite ce-i, Fluffster.
D�-mi voie s�-�i zic."
1417
01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:07,359
"Chiar apreciez ceea ce faci."
1418
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:10,991
"O s� m� rog pentru tine,
familia ta, prietenii, succesul t�u,"
1419
01:23:11,069 --> 01:23:12,609
"pentru c� ce faci tu
e venit de la Dumnezeu."
1420
01:23:12,696 --> 01:23:13,656
"Pe bune."
1421
01:23:13,739 --> 01:23:16,529
"�n vremurile astea,
tu faci oamenii s� r�d�."
1422
01:23:16,617 --> 01:23:18,697
"Avem nevoie de a�a ceva."
1423
01:23:18,785 --> 01:23:21,365
"Uite ce e, nu �ncerc s�
te lingu�esc."
1424
01:23:21,455 --> 01:23:24,785
"Eu n-am copii, dar dac�
o s� am vreodat�,"
1425
01:23:24,875 --> 01:23:27,705
"sper s� aib� spiritul t�u.
Dumnezeu s� te binecuv�nteze!"
1426
01:23:28,629 --> 01:23:30,129
"Uite ce e...mul�umesc."
1427
01:23:31,298 --> 01:23:32,758
"��i mul�umesc mult."
1428
01:23:37,596 --> 01:23:40,096
"Prietene, ascult�, dac� pot
face ceva pentru tine..."
1429
01:23:41,725 --> 01:23:43,685
"Nu face asta."
1430
01:23:44,937 --> 01:23:47,557
"Nu spune vorbe goale."
1431
01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:49,148
"Hai s� facem o poz�."
1432
01:23:49,233 --> 01:23:51,943
"Dar nu spune lucruri
�n v�nt."
1433
01:23:57,241 --> 01:24:00,621
"Dac� pot s� fac ceva
pentru tine, spune-mi."
1434
01:24:06,875 --> 01:24:08,585
"�ine formularul �sta."
1435
01:24:12,256 --> 01:24:15,006
Chicago, v� iubesc! Mul�umesc!
1436
01:24:15,717 --> 01:24:18,007
O sear� frumoas�!
V� mul�umesc mult!
1437
01:24:27,470 --> 01:24:30,501
Acest video este dedicat tuturor
fanilor mei din toat� lumea.
1438
01:24:30,501 --> 01:24:32,838
A fost posibil datorit� vou�.
V� mul�umesc!!
1439
01:24:32,838 --> 01:24:35,213
Traducere
PREL GHENCEA
117930
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