All language subtitles for The.Eric.Andre.Show.S01E08.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-BTN

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:07,105 SOME SAY MANHATTAN IS SHAPED LIKE AN ISLAND. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT IS AN 2 00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:08,073 ISLAND. 3 00:00:08,075 --> 00:00:09,941 SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S LIKE A 4 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,176 SLICE OF PIZZA. 5 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:13,311 OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT'S NOT LIKE A 6 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:14,546 7 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,048 BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE -- IT 8 00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,517 TAKES ALL KINDS TO MAKE A PIZZA 9 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,586 ISLAND. 10 00:00:21,588 --> 00:00:22,487 MMM. 11 00:00:22,489 --> 00:00:24,356 WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAN? 12 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:27,125 13 00:00:27,127 --> 00:00:27,993 AAAAH! 14 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,761 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 15 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,763 "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"! 16 00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:34,599 17 00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:40,805 18 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,908 19 00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:55,554 20 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:58,490 21 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,459 22 00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,262 23 00:01:10,102 --> 00:01:14,406 24 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:22,147 OH, HI, GANG. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT 25 00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,382 THERE ASK ME, "ERIC, WHAT'S IT 26 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,085 LIKE BEING ON TV, HAVING A TV 27 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,119 SHOW?" 28 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:30,055 AND I TELL THEM... 29 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:32,390 ♪ HAVING A SHOW IS EASY 30 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,559 ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T CARE ♪ 31 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,161 ♪ YOU CAN EAT A BUNCH OF 32 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:37,729 GARBAGE, THEN DRAG YOUR NUTS 33 00:01:37,731 --> 00:01:38,997 THROUGH HANNIBAL'S HAIR 34 00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,933 WHILE HE'S SLEEPING, SLEEPING, 35 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,604 SLEEPING ♪ 36 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:49,240 Good night. 37 00:01:49,242 --> 00:01:51,109 WHACK. 38 00:01:54,880 --> 00:02:06,358 LET'S DO SOME "E'RICKSHAWING." 39 00:02:06,559 --> 00:02:12,397 WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? GEORGE WASHINGTON. 40 00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:14,399 WHAT STATE IS NEW YORK CITY 41 00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:14,966 IN? 42 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,635 WHAT STATE? NEW YORK. 43 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:17,936 ALL RIGHT. 44 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,270 WHAT DO YOU GUYS GOT TO SAY TO 45 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:20,138 OSAMA BIN LADEN? 46 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,807 BIN LADEN WAS A BADASS. 47 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,877 BIN LADEN WAS A MAN THAT SMOKES 48 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:26,845 HIS GRASS. 49 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,880 BIN LADEN, YOU'LL BE IN OUR 50 00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:29,948 MEMORIES. 51 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,384 BIN LADEN, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN A 52 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:34,486 GOOD FRIEND TO ME. 53 00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,287 THAT GUY KILLED IT! 54 00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:37,355 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF 55 00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,490 "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" 56 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,924 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT 57 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:40,291 IS. 58 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:41,459 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF 59 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,360 OSAMA BIN LADEN? 60 00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,461 HE ROCKS. 61 00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:44,796 HE DOES ROCK. 62 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,297 ALL RIGHT. THANKS SO MUCH. 63 00:02:46,299 --> 00:02:48,366 64 00:02:53,572 --> 00:03:02,547 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HIP-HOP POWER COUPLE, BEYONCE AND JAY-Z! 65 00:03:08,554 --> 00:03:13,825 YOU BETTER MOVE. ALL RIGHT. WHAT UP? 66 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,360 YOU GUYS JUST HAD A BABY. 67 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,429 THAT'S RIGHT. 68 00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:18,830 69 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:19,364 HOVA! 70 00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,532 WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? 71 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:21,533 WHAT MAKES YOU SAD? 72 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:22,634 WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED? 73 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,936 WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS -- 74 00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:27,372 MM -- BEING IN LOVE. 75 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,107 AND -- AND SHOPPING. 76 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:30,108 77 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:33,411 78 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,413 MM. 79 00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:36,648 80 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,583 I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, HONEY. 81 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,252 82 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,721 83 00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,522 I WANT YOU TO STAY CLEAN AND 84 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,591 SOBER...FOR US. 85 00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:48,093 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP 86 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,394 FROM YOUR NEW MUSIC VIDEO! 87 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,262 THE ROCK IS IN THE BUILDING! 88 00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:57,068 89 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:15,353 Y'ALL A REAL FIT AS A COUPLE. THAT'S WHAT'S UP. 90 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:16,621 HEY. THANK YOU, LORD. 91 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:17,856 DON'T THANK THE LORD. 92 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,157 I GAVE Y'ALL A COMPLIMENT. 93 00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:21,593 YOU THANK ME. 94 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,293 95 00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,495 WHEN'S YOUR NEXT CD COMING 96 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:24,629 OUT? 97 00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:28,800 WHY? WHY? 98 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,635 I'M ASKING A QUESTION. 99 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:34,172 100 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:36,441 WHAT DID I DO? 101 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,978 102 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:46,217 103 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:47,952 104 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,122 YEAH, JUST -- 105 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,190 106 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,525 107 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:07,105 LITTLE HELP. LITTLE HELP, PLEASE? LITTLE HELP. ANY HELP. 108 00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,573 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 109 00:05:08,575 --> 00:05:09,774 DO YOU HAVE ANY MONEY? 110 00:05:09,975 --> 00:05:12,610 OKAY. 111 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:17,916 UNBELIEVABLE. AS WE ALL KNOW, VALENTINE'S DAY IS MONTHS AWAY! 112 00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,317 AND, FELLAS, I KNOW YOU WANT TO 113 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,618 COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR YOUR 114 00:05:20,620 --> 00:05:21,019 LADY. 115 00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,187 SO LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO 116 00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,354 HANNIBAL'S KITCHEN WHERE 117 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:24,756 HANNIBAL WILL TEACH US HOW TO 118 00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,157 MAKE SOME OF HIS WORLD-FAMOUS 119 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,426 DIM SUM THAT'LL DEFINITELY GET 120 00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:33,331 YOUR LADY IN THE MOOD. 121 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,200 WHERE'S HANNIBAL? 122 00:05:40,339 --> 00:05:48,613 HANNIBAL? HE'S GONE! 123 00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:50,248 124 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,885 WHY?! 125 00:05:53,887 --> 00:05:56,554 126 00:06:05,931 --> 00:06:08,466 WHY?! [ SOBS ] 127 00:06:17,176 --> 00:06:22,113 WE OUT OF TOILET PAPER, YO. HANNIBAL? IS THAT YOU? 128 00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:33,458 I'M GONNA MEET MY FUTURE WIFE TONIGHT! HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL 129 00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,293 EXCEPT FOR YOUR MAN HANDS. 130 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:35,960 WHAT? 131 00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,562 CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 132 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:38,396 THAT WAS AMAZING. 133 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,530 YOU SHOULD TRY THAT LINE MORE 134 00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:39,964 OFTEN. 135 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:40,565 136 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,633 HEY. YOU LOOK STUNNINGLY 137 00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:42,200 BEAUTIFUL. 138 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,101 THANK YOU. 139 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,636 YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT, 140 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,104 LIKE, REALLY ENJOYS DORITOS. 141 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:46,938 UH... 142 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,207 [ LAUGHS ] WHAT THE [BLEEP] 143 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,308 YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL 144 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:51,509 WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. 145 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:52,377 OH, WHY THANK YOU. 146 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,011 [BLEEP] OFF. 147 00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,212 CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 148 00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:55,113 ALL RIGHT. 149 00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,314 YOU TALKING TO ME? 150 00:06:56,316 --> 00:06:57,015 YEAH. 151 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:57,815 I'M SORRY. 152 00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,217 HERE'S A CHINESE FINGER TRAP. 153 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,551 YOU HAVE PURPLE FINGERNAILS. 154 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:01,753 AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU 155 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:02,620 SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? 156 00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:03,521 YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. 157 00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:04,289 JUST TAKE THIS. 158 00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:05,957 AND TAKE MY PHONE NUMBER. 159 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:06,958 TAKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 160 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:07,392 YEAH. 161 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:07,959 162 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:08,693 AND TAKE THIS. 163 00:07:08,695 --> 00:07:09,460 TAKE THESE MARBLES. 164 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:10,662 CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE 165 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,195 NUMBER? 166 00:07:11,197 --> 00:07:12,363 TAKE THESE MARBLES. 167 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,398 168 00:07:12,900 --> 00:07:13,698 THANK YOU. 169 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:14,933 PISS OFF! 170 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,167 WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY? 171 00:07:16,368 --> 00:07:19,637 172 00:07:26,011 --> 00:07:28,379 PLEASE WELCOME EVANGELOS! 173 00:07:28,580 --> 00:07:31,516 174 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:39,324 WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN HAND AT THE DAWN, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH YOU TO HOLD ON. 175 00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,892 WITH, UH...LINE? 176 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:41,993 I'M SORRY. 177 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,161 178 00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,196 ♪ WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN 179 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,332 HAND, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH 180 00:07:47,334 --> 00:07:49,167 YOU... ♪ 181 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,803 182 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,471 183 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,406 I'M ALL FLUSTERED NOW. 184 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,842 UH... 185 00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,143 186 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,512 187 00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,547 YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE? 188 00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,048 HOW ABOUT THAT? 189 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,717 "YOU AND I BELIEVE IT LOVE." 190 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:06,551 191 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,885 "YOUR LOVE NEVER DIES." 192 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,320 THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU... 193 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:09,854 OKAY. 194 00:08:09,856 --> 00:08:11,789 YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LULLABIES, 195 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,458 THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS 196 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:15,193 GROWING STRONG. 197 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,228 YOU AND LIE -- YOU AND I 198 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,797 BELIEVE LOVE -- LOVE NEVER DIES. 199 00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,566 200 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,269 201 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,437 202 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,339 EXCELLENT. 203 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,441 HEY, BUDDY BOY! 204 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:31,943 HOW YOU DOING, MAN? 205 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,778 GOOD TO SEE YOU. 206 00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,681 WHAT'S HAPPENING? 207 00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:42,053 EVANGELOS. 208 00:08:42,254 --> 00:08:46,190 WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S BEEN EVANGELOS! THANK YOU! 209 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:55,800 EXCUSE ME, DUDE. HEY, UM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" 210 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:58,069 WHAT THE HELL? 211 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,004 WHAT COULD YOU SAY TO IMPROVE 212 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,639 213 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,340 LEAVE IT ALONE. 214 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,575 RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. 215 00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:05,777 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE 216 00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,111 WELCOME OUR NEXT GUEST, STAR OF 217 00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,946 "EDEN'S WORLD," 7-YEAR-OLD 218 00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,381 EDEN WOOD! 219 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,016 220 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,086 221 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,122 ♪ MAMA ALWAYS SAYS TO ME I'M 222 00:09:18,124 --> 00:09:20,591 AS LUCKY AS A GIRL CAN BE ♪ 223 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:26,497 ♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD IN A BIG OLD PLANE, ACROSS THE MILES, PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME ♪ 224 00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:27,965 ♪ WHEN THE SHOW'S DONE, MY 225 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:29,033 SEQUINS COME OFF ♪ 226 00:09:29,035 --> 00:09:30,935 ♪ HEADED TO A FARM AND AN OLD 227 00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:31,836 HAY LOFT ♪ 228 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,805 ♪ BEST OF BOTH WORLDS IT SEEMS 229 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:34,739 TO BE ♪ 230 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,874 ♪ BUT IN MY HEART I'M A COUNTRY 231 00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:39,010 QUEEN ♪ 232 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,612 ♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪ 233 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,314 ♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN' 234 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:44,315 THE DREAM ♪ 235 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,185 236 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,186 ♪ MY JOHN DEERE'S PINK AND MY 237 00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:53,091 BONNET'S GREEN ♪ 238 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,893 239 00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:13,511 ♪ QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪ ♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN' THE DREAM ♪ 240 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,280 ♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪ 241 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:22,253 AAAAAAAAH. 242 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,322 I'M A COUNTRY QUEEN! 243 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,323 244 00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:28,459 I SALUTE YOU. 245 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,229 246 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,464 247 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:39,937 EVANGELOS. 13417

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