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SOME SAY MANHATTAN IS SHAPED
LIKE AN ISLAND.
OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT IS AN
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ISLAND.
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SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S LIKE A
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SLICE OF PIZZA.
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OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT'S NOT LIKE A
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BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE -- IT
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TAKES ALL KINDS TO MAKE A PIZZA
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ISLAND.
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MMM.
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WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAN?
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AAAAH!
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!
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OH, HI, GANG.
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT
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THERE ASK ME, "ERIC, WHAT'S IT
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LIKE BEING ON TV, HAVING A TV
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SHOW?"
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AND I TELL THEM...
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♪ HAVING A SHOW IS EASY
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ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T CARE ♪
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♪ YOU CAN EAT A BUNCH OF
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GARBAGE, THEN DRAG YOUR NUTS
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THROUGH HANNIBAL'S HAIR
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WHILE HE'S SLEEPING, SLEEPING,
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SLEEPING ♪
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Good night.
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WHACK.
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LET'S DO SOME "E'RICKSHAWING."
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WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES?
GEORGE WASHINGTON.
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WHAT STATE IS NEW YORK CITY
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IN?
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WHAT STATE? NEW YORK.
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ALL RIGHT.
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WHAT DO YOU GUYS GOT TO SAY TO
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OSAMA BIN LADEN?
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BIN LADEN WAS A BADASS.
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BIN LADEN WAS A MAN THAT SMOKES
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HIS GRASS.
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BIN LADEN, YOU'LL BE IN OUR
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MEMORIES.
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BIN LADEN, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN A
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GOOD FRIEND TO ME.
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THAT GUY KILLED IT!
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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
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"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"
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I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT
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IS.
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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
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OSAMA BIN LADEN?
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HE ROCKS.
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HE DOES ROCK.
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ALL RIGHT. THANKS SO MUCH.
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HIP-HOP
POWER COUPLE, BEYONCE AND JAY-Z!
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YOU BETTER MOVE.
ALL RIGHT.
WHAT UP?
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YOU GUYS JUST HAD A BABY.
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THAT'S RIGHT.
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HOVA!
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WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?
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WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?
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WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED?
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WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS --
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MM -- BEING IN LOVE.
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AND -- AND SHOPPING.
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MM.
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I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, HONEY.
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I WANT YOU TO STAY CLEAN AND
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SOBER...FOR US.
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LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP
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FROM YOUR NEW MUSIC VIDEO!
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THE ROCK IS IN THE BUILDING!
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Y'ALL A REAL FIT AS A COUPLE.
THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
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HEY. THANK YOU, LORD.
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DON'T THANK THE LORD.
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I GAVE Y'ALL A COMPLIMENT.
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YOU THANK ME.
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WHEN'S YOUR NEXT CD COMING
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OUT?
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WHY? WHY?
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I'M ASKING A QUESTION.
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WHAT DID I DO?
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YEAH, JUST --
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107
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LITTLE HELP.
LITTLE HELP, PLEASE?
LITTLE HELP. ANY HELP.
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EXCUSE ME, SIR.
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DO YOU HAVE ANY MONEY?
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OKAY.
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UNBELIEVABLE.
AS WE ALL KNOW, VALENTINE'S DAY
IS MONTHS AWAY!
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AND, FELLAS, I KNOW YOU WANT TO
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COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR YOUR
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LADY.
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SO LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO
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HANNIBAL'S KITCHEN WHERE
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HANNIBAL WILL TEACH US HOW TO
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MAKE SOME OF HIS WORLD-FAMOUS
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DIM SUM THAT'LL DEFINITELY GET
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YOUR LADY IN THE MOOD.
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WHERE'S HANNIBAL?
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HANNIBAL?
HE'S GONE!
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WHY?!
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WHY?! [ SOBS ]
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WE OUT OF TOILET PAPER, YO.
HANNIBAL? IS THAT YOU?
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I'M GONNA MEET MY FUTURE WIFE
TONIGHT!
HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL
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EXCEPT FOR YOUR MAN HANDS.
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WHAT?
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CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
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THAT WAS AMAZING.
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YOU SHOULD TRY THAT LINE MORE
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OFTEN.
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HEY. YOU LOOK STUNNINGLY
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BEAUTIFUL.
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THANK YOU.
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YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT,
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LIKE, REALLY ENJOYS DORITOS.
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UH...
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[ LAUGHS ] WHAT THE [BLEEP]
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YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
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WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.
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OH, WHY THANK YOU.
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[BLEEP] OFF.
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CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
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ALL RIGHT.
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YOU TALKING TO ME?
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YEAH.
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I'M SORRY.
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HERE'S A CHINESE FINGER TRAP.
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YOU HAVE PURPLE FINGERNAILS.
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AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU
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SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?
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YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.
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JUST TAKE THIS.
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AND TAKE MY PHONE NUMBER.
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TAKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?
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YEAH.
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AND TAKE THIS.
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TAKE THESE MARBLES.
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CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE
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NUMBER?
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TAKE THESE MARBLES.
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THANK YOU.
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PISS OFF!
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY?
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PLEASE WELCOME EVANGELOS!
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WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN
HAND AT THE DAWN, LIFE SEEMS SO
EASY WITH YOU TO HOLD ON.
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WITH, UH...LINE?
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I'M SORRY.
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♪ WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN
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HAND, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH
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YOU... ♪
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I'M ALL FLUSTERED NOW.
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UH...
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187
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:02,547
YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE?
188
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HOW ABOUT THAT?
189
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"YOU AND I BELIEVE IT LOVE."
190
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191
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,885
"YOUR LOVE NEVER DIES."
192
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THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU...
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OKAY.
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YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LULLABIES,
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THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS
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GROWING STRONG.
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YOU AND LIE -- YOU AND I
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BELIEVE LOVE -- LOVE NEVER DIES.
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EXCELLENT.
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HEY, BUDDY BOY!
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HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
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GOOD TO SEE YOU.
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WHAT'S HAPPENING?
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EVANGELOS.
208
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WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH.
THAT'S BEEN EVANGELOS!
THANK YOU!
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EXCUSE ME, DUDE.
HEY, UM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"
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WHAT THE HELL?
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WHAT COULD YOU SAY TO IMPROVE
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213
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:02,340
LEAVE IT ALONE.
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RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
215
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
216
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WELCOME OUR NEXT GUEST, STAR OF
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"EDEN'S WORLD," 7-YEAR-OLD
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EDEN WOOD!
219
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220
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221
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♪ MAMA ALWAYS SAYS TO ME I'M
222
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AS LUCKY AS A GIRL CAN BE ♪
223
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♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD IN A BIG
OLD PLANE, ACROSS THE MILES,
PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME ♪
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♪ WHEN THE SHOW'S DONE, MY
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SEQUINS COME OFF ♪
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♪ HEADED TO A FARM AND AN OLD
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HAY LOFT ♪
228
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♪ BEST OF BOTH WORLDS IT SEEMS
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TO BE ♪
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♪ BUT IN MY HEART I'M A COUNTRY
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QUEEN ♪
232
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♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪
233
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♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN'
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THE DREAM ♪
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00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:47,185
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♪ MY JOHN DEERE'S PINK AND MY
237
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BONNET'S GREEN ♪
238
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,893
239
00:10:07,739 --> 00:10:13,511
♪ QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪
♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN'
THE DREAM ♪
240
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:16,280
♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪
241
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AAAAAAAAH.
242
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I'M A COUNTRY QUEEN!
243
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,323
244
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:28,459
I SALUTE YOU.
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246
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,464
247
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EVANGELOS.
13417
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