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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!
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AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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AAAAAAAH!
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IT BURNS!!
AHA!
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AAH! AAAH! AAH!
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OH, GEEZ.
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I AM THOMAS JEFFERSON, AND I'M
ABOUT TO GET A NEGRO LAP DANCE!
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HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
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I AM THOMAS JEFFERSON, AND I
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WANT A BIG BLACK RUMP IN MY FACE
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RIGHT AWAY!
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YES. OH, YES.
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ONCE I AM DEAD, YOU ARE FREE TO
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GO.
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MM, YES, YES, YES.
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
TATYANA ALI!
YEAH.
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YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
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HEY, TATYANA.
BOO!
HI.
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UP TOP.
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WHAT'S UP?
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WHAT'S UP?
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HEY.
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UH...
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I LOVE YOUR SET.
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OH, THANKS. I MADE IT.
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I PRETTY MUCH MADE IT FROM
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THE GROUND UP, SO IT'S NO BIG
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DEAL.
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I'M, LIKE, REALLY GOOD WITH MY
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HANDS, YOU KNOW.
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I LOVE YOUR GLOBE.
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YEAH, YEAH.
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I MADE THAT, TOO.
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I'M LIKE A -- A GLOBE MAKER.
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YOU JUST DON'T SEE THEM
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VERY -- YOU KNOW?
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YEAH.
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WELL, SO, ARE YOU --
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WHAT ARE YOU, LIKE, DOING LATER?
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DO YOU -- DO YOU GOT ANY PLANS
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OR ANYTHING?
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LIKE...
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UH...
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JUST, I'M GETTING, LIKE, SOME
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PIZZA LATER JUST BY MYSELF, YOU
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KNOW.
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JUST, UH, MAYBE YOU WERE -- WANT
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A PIZZA OR SOMETHING.
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I GOT A COMEDY SHOW LATER IF
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YOU WANT TO COME TO IT.
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I DO COMEDY.
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SO IF YOU WANT TO COME TO A
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COMEDY SHOW...
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WELL, I MEAN...
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WELL, WE'RE KIND OF MAKING PLANS
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NOW, SO...
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I MEAN, IT'S JUST --
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I'M JUST THROWING OUT OTHER
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OPTIONS.
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OKAY. I APPRECIATE THAT.
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I MEAN, SHE DIDN'T REALLY SAY
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ANYTHING ABOUT --
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WELL, YOU CAN SENSE BODY
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LANGUAGE, HANNIBAL, AND YOU CAN
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SENSE CHEMISTRY, YOU KNOW.
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I FEEL LIKE IT'S JUST YOU'RE
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AT A DESK, AND I GOT TO STAND
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UP, AND SO, YOU KNOW, SHE CAN'T
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LOOK AT ME AS MUCH.
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WELL, WE TALKED ABOUT AN
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ISSUE, AND I JUST REALLY THINK
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SHE'S MORE INTERESTED IN PIZZA.
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I GOT REAL STRONG CALVES.
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SO, LIKE, 7:00 I CAN PICK YOU
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UP?
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UH...
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OH, IT'S TIME FOR
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DOC CHICKEN, YO!
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Both: DOC CHICKEN!
DOC CHICKEN! DOC CHICKEN!
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DOC CHICKEN!
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DOC CHICKEN, DOC CHICKEN,
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DOC CHICKEN, DOC CHICKEN.
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THE FORMER GOVERNOR OF
CALIFORNIA, HOLLYWOOD SUPERSTAR
LEGEND, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
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PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR
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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER!
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YES, YES!
♪ ARNOLD, ARNOLD, ARNOLD ♪
HEY! WHAT'S UP?
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[ "BATTLE CRY OF FREEDOM"
PLAYS ]
EXCUSE ME!
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YOU GUYS FORGOT YOUR HOODS!
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YOU FORGOT YOUR HOODS.
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HERE YOU GO.
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KEEP IT. THIS IS YOURS.
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SIR.
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YOU GUYS FORGOT YOUR FLAGS.
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ALL RIGHT.
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HERE YOU GO.
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WE GOT YOUR FLAGS.
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YOU FORGOT YOUR SIGNS.
GET OUT!
YOU FORGOT YOUR SIGNS.
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GET OUT OF HERE!
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YOU GUYS FORGOT YOUR HOODS.
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WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?
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WHY ARE YOU HERE?
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YOU FORGOT YOUR SIGNS.
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WHO INVITED YOU HERE?
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HERE, HERE, TAKE YOUR FLAG.
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OH, COME ON.
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THE BIBLE SAYS LOVE.
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NO?
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WE WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.
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NOPE. COME WITH US.
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COME WITH US.
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RON.
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RON, RON, RON.
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DO YOU WANT YOUR HOOD?
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[ "BATTLE CRY OF FREEDOM"
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CONTINUES ]
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AND WE ARE BACK WITH
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ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER.
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WE HAVE A CLIP FROM YOUR NEW
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MOVIE WITH HANNIBAL.
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YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
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I THINK WE GOT A CLIP.
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CAN WE SEE THAT REAL QUICK?
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Both: ♪ INTO THE NIGHT ♪
♪ INTO THE NIGHT ♪
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WELL, THAT MOVIE LOOKS FUN
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FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY.
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UH, REAL QUICK, WANTED TO ASK
YOU BEFORE WE TAKE OFF --
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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"?
UH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
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YEAH.
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WHAT DO YOU THINK IT COULD DO TO
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IMPROVE ITS RATINGS?
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PROBABLY HAVE SOME BETTER
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GUESTS.
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YEAH.
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170
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WHAT DO YOU THINK OF
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ERIC ANDRE?
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I'M GLAD HE'S DEAD.
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COOL.
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ALL RIGHT. THANKS, MAN.
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NO PROBLEM.
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OUR NEXT GUEST, CREATOR OF
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THE ShamWow.
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IT IS...
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OKAY.
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WE COULD NOT GET OUR NEXT GUEST.
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ALL RIGHT, WE GOT TO KILL SOME
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TIME.
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UH...
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SO...
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SO, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, MAN?
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WHEN?
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IN GENERAL.
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I'M IN A NEW BAND CALLED
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KUWAIT GRIPS.
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CAN I GET IN THE BAND?
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YEAH.
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WHAT DO I DO?
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YOU PLAY SLEIGH BELLS.
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SLEIGH BELLS.
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YEAH. I --
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I'M ON BOARD WITH THAT.
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UH, SO, YOU GOT TO, UH...
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YOU GOT TO --
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YOU GOT TO, UH...
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YOU GOT TO SUPPORT THE TROOPS,
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RIGHT?
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YOU HAVE TO.
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WAIT. DO YOU --
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DO YOU HAVE TO SUPPORT THE
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TROOPS?
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HOW --
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WHAT IS THE EXPRESSION?
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"SUPPORT THE TROOPS"?
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SHOULD WE SUPPORT ALL OF THE
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TROOPS?
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THE TROOPS AS A CONCEPT BUT
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NOT ALL OF THEM AS INDIVIDUALS.
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YEAH, OKAY.
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00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,441
UNTIL YOU MEET THEM, TALK
216
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WITH THEM.
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00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:31,276
SO YOU MEET THEM, YEAH.
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YOU CAN'T JUST SUPPORT THEM.
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00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,179
LIKE, "YO, YOU A DICK, BUT I
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SUPPORT THE ARMY.
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00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:38,350
BUT YOU AN ASSHOLE.
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00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:40,986
I DON'T SUPPORT YOU."
223
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,354
WE GOT TO TALK MORE ABOUT THIS
224
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BAND.
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UH, FIRST THINGS FIRST -- I QUIT
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THE BAND.
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WHY?
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I DON'T FEEL LIKE THE
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DIRECTION AND THE SOUND THAT
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00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:51,830
WE'RE GOING FOR IS SOMETHING I
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WANT TO GO FOR, SO I JUST WANT
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00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,500
TO MAKE IT A COOL SPLIT.
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00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,302
I STILL RESPECT WHAT Y'ALL ARE
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DOING, BUT I JUST WANT TO DO
235
00:08:58,972 --> 00:08:59,905
MY OWN THING.
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TRY TO BRING AUTO-TUNE AND
237
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SCATTING.
238
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,442
SCAT AUTO-TUNE.
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00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:16,354
Both: [ AUTO-TUNED SCATTING ]
240
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,390
241
00:09:18,392 --> 00:09:20,091
THAT'S A NEW GENRE, YO.
242
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:25,297
[ AUTO-TUNED SCATTING ]
AAH! AAH! AAH!
CAN'T BELIEVE WE BOOKED THIS
243
00:09:25,299 --> 00:09:26,197
NEXT PERFORMER.
244
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,566
PLEASE WELCOME LIVING ICON
245
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:30,669
MISS SHIRLEY TEMPLE, EVERYBODY.
246
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,237
THANK YOU.
247
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,205
♪ HICKORY-DICKORY ♪
248
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,707
♪ DIGGITY DOO ♪
249
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,508
I CAN -- NOPE.
250
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:38,577
SORRY. START OVER.
251
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,844
WHAT'S THAT?
252
00:09:39,846 --> 00:09:40,912
I HAVE TO HEAR THOSE EIGHT
253
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CLICKS.
254
00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:47,385
255
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♪ HICKORY-DICKORY DICKORY DONE ♪
256
00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,890
♪ THE MICE COME OUT TO PLAY ♪
257
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:53,258
♪ TICKETY-TOCKETY ♪
258
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,160
♪ GRANDFATHER DOCKETY ♪
259
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,761
♪ TILL THE BREAK OF DAY ♪
260
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,463
♪ MITTY THE KITTY WENT ON TO A
261
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COMMITTEE ♪
262
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♪ IN BINGO BONGO BAY ♪
263
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,968
IT'S THE HICKORY-DICKORY
264
00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:06,438
DICKETY-SINGY WAY ♪
265
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,772
♪ A-BRING-ADDY BONG-ITTY ♪
266
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:09,040
♪ SINGING A SONG-ITTY ♪
267
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,209
♪ LIKE THE MOUSES DO ♪
268
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,144
♪ SCAMPERY CHAMPERY IN THE
269
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,546
CLOCK WITH YOU ♪
270
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♪ OH, YES, MMM! ♪
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♪ DINGETTY-DONGETY,
272
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:18,817
SPRINGING ON HOME-ETY ♪
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00:10:18,819 --> 00:10:20,752
♪ CLOCKETY ALMOST TWO ♪
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♪ SO HICKORY-DICKORY
275
00:10:22,356 --> 00:10:25,523
DOCKERY-DO FOR YOU ♪
276
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:26,958
♪ A HICKORY-DICKORY
277
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DOCKERY-DI FOR YOU ♪
278
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:35,533
279
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:36,601
I SCREWED UP.
280
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,136
I THINK I SCREWED UP.
281
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,904
OKAY.
282
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:41,072
♪ HICKORY-HOCKETY ♪
283
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,007
♪ HOOKITY-HOCKETY ♪
284
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:43,274
THIS IS THE WORST...
285
00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,209
THANK YOU.
286
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,844
THANK YOU SO MUCH, ERIC.
287
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,946
IT'S BEEN SUCH A PLEASURE.
288
00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,382
I'M JUST SO HAPPY TO BE HERE.
289
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:51,716
IT'S NOT BEEN EASY.
290
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:52,584
IT'S NOT --
291
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:53,752
BUT IT'S SO FUN.
292
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:55,120
DING-DONG.
15757
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