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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,009 Hey, Jocelyn, uh, 2 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:10,844 would you ever tag me in one of your videos? 3 00:00:10,910 --> 00:00:13,580 - I'd love to get more followers. - I'll do it for 50 bucks. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,749 - Whoa, Whitney, you look like shit. 5 00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,384 Uh, sorry, I didn't realize 6 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:19,586 this dorm meeting was a formal event. 7 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,021 No, it's amazing. 8 00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,689 You look like a celebrity taking out the trash. 9 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,557 I wish I had the confidence to look that bad. 10 00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:26,993 - All right, my favorite FreshThem. 11 00:00:27,060 --> 00:00:29,095 As you know, it is Parents' Weekend. 12 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,597 Yay. 13 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,432 - My juggling group will be performing at the brunch, 14 00:00:32,532 --> 00:00:35,001 if you are looking for something super fun to do. 15 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,669 - Ooh, Whitney, I'd love to fit in 16 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,038 a quick TikTok with your mom. 17 00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:39,739 I mean, it is sponsored by Chex Mix, 18 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:42,609 so she cannot mention any other crunchy snack brands. 19 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,779 - All right, look, I get that my mom is exciting, 20 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,347 but my dad's coming, too. 21 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,748 He's pretty cool. He's a musician. 22 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,083 Whoa. 23 00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:51,751 - I can't find him online. Is he famous? 24 00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:54,554 - He's a very well respected bassist in the Bay Area. 25 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:56,356 - Well, if your mom wasn't a senator, 26 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:57,957 that would probably be cooler. 27 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,627 - Frude, I'm just gonna jump in here for a second. 28 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,295 Um, before our families arrive, 29 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,197 I think we should all quickly share any lies 30 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,299 we've told them that we'd like each other to corroborate. 31 00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:08,068 - Oh, hell, yes. Yes, that's smart. 32 00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:10,470 - Finally, an actual reason to have one of these meetings. 33 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,871 - Hey. - I'll start. 34 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:13,740 My parents think I'm a neuroscience major, 35 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:15,041 which I'm clearly not. 36 00:01:15,108 --> 00:01:17,143 Also, they think I've washed my sheets. 37 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:18,645 - I told my dad that all of our textbooks 38 00:01:18,745 --> 00:01:20,046 come from Net-a-Porter, 39 00:01:20,113 --> 00:01:21,314 and that is why he's getting charges. 40 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,782 Oh, good one. 41 00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,484 - My parents think I go to church every weekend. 42 00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,486 I made up a priest. His name is Father Steve. 43 00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,054 And he's guiding me on my faith journey. 44 00:01:28,121 --> 00:01:29,422 So good. 45 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:31,224 - I told my mom I joined the Young Republicans. 46 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,093 I didn't. I'm just trying to fuck with her. 47 00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:34,661 But please corroborate. 48 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,629 - My parents cannot know I'm gay. 49 00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:38,064 - Oh. - What? 50 00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,399 - Might want to change that shirt. 51 00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,835 - All right, I have about 50 of them. 52 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,136 - Wow. - All right. 53 00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:45,338 No one mention my fake ID business 54 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,907 - or my OnlyFans or my-- - I am leaving the room. 55 00:01:47,974 --> 00:01:51,744 I cannot hear these things, and I am leaving the room. 56 00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:55,515 - ♪ Don't say you were there when you weren't ♪ 57 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:57,016 ♪ 'Cause I don't think ♪ 58 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,352 ♪ You were there when I was hurtin' ♪ 59 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:03,523 ♪ And now I don't know if I want to come home ♪ 60 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:05,291 ♪ No, I don't know... ♪ 61 00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,026 [laughs] So I said to Barack, 62 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,795 "You cannot break the glass ceiling 63 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,364 without getting some glass in your eye." 64 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:12,799 [laughing] 65 00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,601 - My mom is so fake, it's insane. 66 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:17,036 I think she's very inspiring. 67 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,706 - Are you wearing, like, an African dress? 68 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,442 - It's not African. It's tribal-themed. 69 00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:24,110 I was invited to the Black Affinity House. 70 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,612 I wanted to show some respect. 71 00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:28,047 - Well, you look like a Nigerian prom queen. 72 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,817 - Damn it. - I'm sorry. 73 00:02:30,884 --> 00:02:33,319 - Hey, do you know how fancy this restaurant 74 00:02:33,386 --> 00:02:34,888 Leighton chose for tonight is? 75 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,689 Some websites are saying three out of four dollar signs 76 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,391 and others are saying four. 77 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,460 - Uh, yeah, I have no idea. - Hi. 78 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:43,396 - [gasps] Senator Chase, that was incredible. 79 00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,731 - Representation matters. - [chuckles] 80 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,466 - I think it was Frederick Douglass 81 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,468 - who once said-- - I can't. I'm sorry, I can't. 82 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,471 - Do you mind getting a scone or something? 83 00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:52,805 Absolutely. 84 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:56,075 - [indistinct chatter] - [chuckles] 85 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,744 Is that girl wearing a dashiki? 86 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,379 - She is. - Mm. 87 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,414 - Uh, hey, Mom, I wanted to talk to you about something. 88 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:02,916 It's kind of personal. 89 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,518 - Well, can we do it Sunday between 3:30 and 4:30? 90 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,021 I have a board meeting, and then I have to cut the ribbon 91 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,924 for a new all-gender bathroom at the business school. 92 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,425 You know what? Never mind. 93 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,394 I'll just see you at the restaurant, whatever. 94 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:16,829 - Thanks, honey, for being so flexible. 95 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:19,866 [indistinct chatter] 96 00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,869 [pop music] 97 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:26,573 ♪ ♪ 98 00:03:26,673 --> 00:03:28,875 No, no, no! 99 00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,177 Guys, we got to throw the leaves much higher. 100 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:34,047 They got to explode up into the air, okay? 101 00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:35,715 - Dad, can we please stop, all right? 102 00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,116 This is so embarrassing. 103 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,285 - Honey, this picture is very important to me. 104 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,221 I have dreamed of us being an Essex family 105 00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:42,355 since you were a baby. 106 00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:43,957 Come on, I want it to be perfect. 107 00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,292 - What about the student-loan protest behind us? 108 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,962 - [sighs] We're lucky to even have student loans. 109 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,198 I don't know. Maybe I can scrub it out later, okay? 110 00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:53,733 Let's just go again real fast 111 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,768 before the sun goes behind the library tower. 112 00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,638 Okay, everybody get 30% more leaves. 113 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:02,408 30%, these are artisanal foliage, very expensive. 114 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:05,612 Big smiles, perfect family, perfect family. 115 00:04:05,712 --> 00:04:08,047 Holy shit. 116 00:04:09,382 --> 00:04:11,084 Here we go. 117 00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,254 Leighton, pay attention. 118 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:16,222 My facialist begged me to stay out of the sun. 119 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,457 Sorry. 120 00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,158 - Protect Mommy's face. Here we go. 121 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,961 Three, two, one, leaves. [camera shutter clicking] 122 00:04:22,061 --> 00:04:24,130 Perfect. That's the one. That's the one. 123 00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:27,500 - I think we did it. - That's my shit right there. 124 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,436 Yes! Perfect New England family! 125 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:33,473 [moody rock music] 126 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:34,974 ♪♪ 127 00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:37,977 - So this is my absolute favorite class. 128 00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:40,179 It's called biochemistry and biophysics. 129 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,348 It meets twice a week, but, honestly, it's so fun, 130 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,350 I wish it met three times. 131 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:47,253 Seems so impressive, beta. 132 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,189 So many smart-looking boys. 133 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,258 Yeah, these are my people. 134 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,493 Good afternoon. 135 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,962 It's nice to see the parental elements 136 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,032 that combined to create the student compounds. 137 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:01,301 - [laughing] - Dad, cool it. 138 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,336 He's a very funny man. 139 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,372 [jazzy piano music] 140 00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,809 ♪ ♪ 141 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:11,878 Don't scratch that car. 142 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,546 [chuckles] 143 00:05:13,646 --> 00:05:16,449 - Dad, you're not gonna be a dick to Whitney's mom, right? 144 00:05:16,516 --> 00:05:19,052 No one needs Sean Hannity at dinner tonight. 145 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,953 No, I'm not gonna be a dick. 146 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,556 I'm only gonna ask about her insane stance 147 00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:25,058 on inheritance tax. 148 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,294 - So this is the nicest restaurant near campus? 149 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,330 - So sorry it's not the Polo Lounge. 150 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,732 It's just so earnest. 151 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,634 Mom, it's good, chill. 152 00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:36,669 Leight, you picked a great place. 153 00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,871 - I love how unpretentious you are, Nicholas. 154 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:40,873 Oh, and you've gotten so built since you've been here. 155 00:05:40,973 --> 00:05:42,475 I hardly recognize you. 156 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,976 - Still doesn't make it any more socially acceptable 157 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:45,411 that you want to have sex with him. 158 00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:47,213 - Leighton Murray. - Jesus Christ, Leighton. 159 00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:48,748 Please don't suggest 160 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,383 that your mom wants to have sex with your brother. 161 00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:51,851 It's disgusting. 162 00:05:51,918 --> 00:05:53,686 Plus, Nico could do so much better than me. 163 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,655 - Yes. - Let's just find our table. 164 00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,057 Wonderful. 165 00:05:58,157 --> 00:05:59,092 Hi. 166 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,728 [indistinct chatter] 167 00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:04,597 - Oh, there's my girl. - Hi. 168 00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:08,267 - [laughs] Ah! 169 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:12,238 All right, uh, you're wearing this? 170 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:16,609 - I mean, it's on my body, so, yes. 171 00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,044 Well, you know what? 172 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,214 With this figure, you could pull off anything. 173 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,282 [chuckles] 174 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,718 Your dad's not here yet. 175 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:28,421 You can stay out here if you want to. 176 00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:35,595 ♪ ♪ 177 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:42,268 Oh, no. 178 00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,038 I was so worried about underdressing 179 00:06:46,105 --> 00:06:47,573 that we overdressed. 180 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,476 - Nonsense. We look festive. 181 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,744 Come on. 182 00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:57,483 - Hi. - Sorry we're late. 183 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,486 - Are you going to an event after this? 184 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:03,790 - Um, we're only attending this dinner. 185 00:07:03,890 --> 00:07:05,758 - Well, I think they look great. 186 00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:06,993 Well, welcome. 187 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,995 They're excited to be here as am I. 188 00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:12,098 I told my security, unless the president is dead, 189 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,167 do not interrupt me. 190 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,336 [awkward laughter] 191 00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:23,676 - I brought little surprise gifts for the girls. 192 00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,111 Here you go. 193 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,580 The elderly woman across the street makes them, 194 00:07:27,647 --> 00:07:29,949 keeps her dementia at bay, so... 195 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,820 - Thank you, Ms. Finkle. - Sure. They're purse hooks. 196 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,156 You hang 'em, then our bags never have to touch the ground. 197 00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:39,091 [laughs] 198 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,194 - Bela, you should invent something like this, 199 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,929 like that woman who invented the underwear 200 00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,997 that pulls your stomach in. 201 00:07:45,097 --> 00:07:46,466 She's very rich. 202 00:07:46,532 --> 00:07:49,001 - Mm, yeah, I've invested. I'll tell you that. 203 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:52,305 - Evette, can I just say what an honor it is to meet you? 204 00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:54,440 Thank you. 205 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:56,709 - May I ask-- did you fly here private 206 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,312 or first-class on the taxpayers' dollar? 207 00:07:59,378 --> 00:08:01,280 - Dad. - [laughs] 208 00:08:01,347 --> 00:08:04,150 I actually do fly private because of the death threats. 209 00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,886 You must know what it's like to have people want you dead. 210 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,721 [laughter] 211 00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,891 - That's great, that's great. Beautiful and funny. 212 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,392 Oh, I'm sorry, 213 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:16,062 I forgot it's a crime to give a woman compliments now. 214 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,731 - Well, when I hear one, I'll let you know. [laughs] 215 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,800 - Super chilly outside, isn't it? 216 00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,368 - Yeah, how cold do we all think it is? 217 00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:25,404 - Mom, do you want to guess? - Oh, jeez, I'd love to. 218 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,405 Okay. 219 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:32,345 ♪ ♪ 220 00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:34,714 "Price upon request." 221 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:36,916 They never do that when it's cheap, do they? 222 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,085 - [chuckles] - Is this place okay, Kimberly? 223 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:41,254 - This is a lovely choice, Leighton. 224 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,356 - If everyone's ready, I'll flag down the waiter. 225 00:08:43,422 --> 00:08:45,024 - Yes. - Oh, sorry. 226 00:08:45,091 --> 00:08:47,326 I think we're still waiting for my dad, if that's okay. 227 00:08:47,393 --> 00:08:48,661 I mean, did he give an ETA? 228 00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,264 - Oh, I'm sure he'll be here very soon. 229 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:53,933 ♪ ♪ 230 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,035 This bread is so pretty. 231 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:58,404 I'm gonna take a picture for your dad. 232 00:08:58,504 --> 00:08:59,572 He loves art. 233 00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:09,115 - Yay! That's a good one. 234 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,284 Um, everyone, well, 235 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,587 I'd like to say what a delight it is to see all of you again. 236 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:18,391 And so, to that end, I will be treating tonight. 237 00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:21,928 - Oh, that's so generous. Thank you so much. 238 00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:24,263 - No, no, we should split it. - Oh, Mr. Malhotra, 239 00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:25,865 it really seems like he would like to pay. 240 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:29,068 - I cannot allow that. - No, just let him pay! 241 00:09:29,135 --> 00:09:31,304 ♪ ♪ 242 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,306 - I actually insist we split it. 243 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,241 Legally any gift or meal 244 00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,311 that I receive over $50 is considered a bribe. 245 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,812 Okay. 246 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:43,149 - Just so you know, the purse hooks were under $50. 247 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,817 - [sighs] - Are you okay? 248 00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,052 Yeah. 249 00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:48,154 - You're just scratching your neck a lot. 250 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,156 - It's fine. It's hives. It's normal. 251 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,791 Excuse me. 252 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,763 I get it, my hives are disgusting. 253 00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,832 I think this dress is making it worse. 254 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,635 - Take my credit card for your share of dinner? 255 00:10:02,735 --> 00:10:04,403 - No. - You are clearly stressed out 256 00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:05,671 about how much it costs. 257 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,406 All right, I feel terrible. 258 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,575 - Then why did you choose such an expensive restaurant? 259 00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,143 There are things on this menu 260 00:10:11,243 --> 00:10:12,845 that cost more than my mom's plane ticket here. 261 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:14,280 Just please take my card. 262 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,182 Okay, my parents won't even notice it 263 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:18,851 on the statement, really, just... 264 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,353 please. 265 00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:25,191 Thank you, Leighton. 266 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,295 ♪ ♪ 267 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,596 - Everything good? - Mm-hmm. 268 00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:33,332 - I'm sorry. We really need to order. 269 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,201 My wife's blood sugar is spiking. 270 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,003 It's true. I could faint. 271 00:10:37,103 --> 00:10:38,871 Maybe Nico could catch me with those strong arms. 272 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:41,607 - Mom, chill. Just have some bread. 273 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,476 - I'm having bread. - Stop it. 274 00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:45,111 - Why would you tell me to stop it? 275 00:10:45,177 --> 00:10:46,712 - Please stop it. You're embarrassing yourself. 276 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:49,181 - I'm embarrassing no one. - It is Parents' Weekend. 277 00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:51,183 - It is Parents' Weekend, so act like a parent. 278 00:10:51,283 --> 00:10:52,718 - What is that supposed to mean? 279 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:53,953 You know what it means. 280 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,656 Let's get to the important stuff. 281 00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:59,325 - Your love lives. - [chuckles] Oh. 282 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,960 Who has a boyfriend? 283 00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,362 - Mom, we've literally been here for, like, six weeks. 284 00:11:03,462 --> 00:11:05,031 Whitney, you're gorgeous. 285 00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:06,999 I'm sure someone's caught your eye. 286 00:11:07,066 --> 00:11:08,367 Not really. 287 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,536 I'm too busy with soccer to have a boyfriend. 288 00:11:10,636 --> 00:11:13,806 - Oh, boo. [cell phone vibrates] 289 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,841 - Oh, excuse me. I have to take this. 290 00:11:15,908 --> 00:11:17,977 Can you order my dad the rack of lamb? 291 00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:20,312 - He'll be here so soon. - Yeah, of course. 292 00:11:20,379 --> 00:11:21,747 Thankfully for us, 293 00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,750 Bela has never been too distracted by boys. 294 00:11:24,850 --> 00:11:28,320 [laughter] 295 00:11:28,387 --> 00:11:29,488 What's so funny? 296 00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,524 - Bela is the biggest-- 297 00:11:31,590 --> 00:11:33,192 Bookworm. 298 00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,094 I'm always studying. 299 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,398 - The Asian way-- that's very smart of you. 300 00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,501 Kimberly, what about you? Are you dating anyone? 301 00:11:42,568 --> 00:11:45,104 - Oh, no, I don't have a dating--a boyfriend. 302 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:46,439 I'm not dating a boyfriend. 303 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,075 - Oh, your nerves say otherwise. 304 00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:52,578 - Are you seeing someone? - No, I'm definitely not. 305 00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,380 Mom, stop badgering them. 306 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,749 Maybe they don't want to discuss their private lives 307 00:11:56,849 --> 00:11:58,584 - with you, huh? - I'm ordering. 308 00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,352 - Hey, are you at the train station? 309 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:02,121 I can take Mom's car and come get you. 310 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:03,956 Honey, I'm in San Jose. 311 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:06,225 You're in San Jose? Why? 312 00:12:06,292 --> 00:12:07,960 Actually, pretty exciting. 313 00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,629 The Barbary Coast needed a bassist to fill in tonight, 314 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,697 and I said, yes. 315 00:12:11,764 --> 00:12:13,132 But it's Parents' Weekend. 316 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,901 - I know, honey. I wish I could be there. 317 00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:18,204 But, Dad... 318 00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:19,872 Are you serious? 319 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,976 - Honey, I just want to make something of myself. 320 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:26,145 Uh, I'm happy for you. 321 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:27,980 I love you. 322 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:28,981 Love you, too. 323 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,416 Have fun. 324 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:33,052 ♪ ♪ 325 00:12:33,119 --> 00:12:34,487 [toilet flushes] 326 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,822 - [sighs] Kimberly and her mother are so sweet. 327 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:41,594 Bless their hearts. And this sad little thing-- 328 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:42,995 Mom, that was a gift. 329 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,764 At least wrap it in a paper towel or something 330 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:46,165 before you throw it in the trash. 331 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,433 Whatever, isn't it funny 332 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,168 how the ones with the cheapest purses 333 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,837 are always the most concerned about getting them dirty? 334 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,273 - Okay, I get it, all right? You hate my roommates. 335 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,808 Great, let's move on. 336 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,676 - Oh, I don't hate them. They're just-- 337 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,613 they're not as sophisticated as your friends back home, 338 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:03,582 and you have to admit these girls are quirky. 339 00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:04,950 - [scoffs] As quirky as you? 340 00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,987 An anorexic housewife who shoplifts? 341 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,259 Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-- 342 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,861 - You think you are so much better than me, 343 00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:19,832 but, sweetheart, you and I are exactly the same. 344 00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:29,809 ♪ ♪ 345 00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:32,945 Wow, Carol, thank you. 346 00:13:33,012 --> 00:13:35,648 This is so convenient. Thank you so much. 347 00:13:35,714 --> 00:13:37,550 You're welcome. 348 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,552 - Wait, this shit actually works 349 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,888 - Yeah, Mrs. Pratt says it can hold up to 45 pounds. 350 00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,557 Yes! 351 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,560 - Well, not to be a nagging parent, 352 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,895 but what is everyone majoring in? 353 00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:52,064 When I went to Stanford, I was a double major 354 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,234 in African American studies and women's studies. 355 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,470 - [chuckles] - Is there something funny? 356 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:04,243 - Just all these majors with "studies" after it-- 357 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:08,247 you know, gender studies, Islamic studies. 358 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:10,049 Whatever happened to good old-fashioned degrees, 359 00:14:10,149 --> 00:14:14,486 like chem, econ, history, you know? 360 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:17,056 I'm majoring in neuroscience. 361 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,391 - Oh. - It's my passion. 362 00:14:19,491 --> 00:14:21,560 - Beta, isn't that Professor Harpin? 363 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,596 You should go to his table and greet him. 364 00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,164 It shows respect. 365 00:14:25,231 --> 00:14:27,032 - I don't want to bother him. He's with his wife. 366 00:14:27,099 --> 00:14:28,767 What if she's leaving him or telling him she's gay? 367 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,670 - That could be hella awkward. - What nonsense. 368 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,873 Go say hi right now. 369 00:14:33,939 --> 00:14:36,108 Uh, I will be back. 370 00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,379 Good girl, she's a good girl. 371 00:14:40,446 --> 00:14:43,382 [indistinct chatter] 372 00:14:45,451 --> 00:14:48,254 - Hey, Prof, it's Bela from biochem. 373 00:14:48,354 --> 00:14:49,855 I just want to say, great lecture today. 374 00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:51,690 Actually, all your lectures are great, 375 00:14:51,757 --> 00:14:53,893 but today's was a banger. 376 00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:55,628 Thanks. 377 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,096 Wonderful lecture today. 378 00:14:57,196 --> 00:14:59,732 Nevaan Malhotra, Bela's father. 379 00:14:59,798 --> 00:15:01,867 I wanted to thank you with something. 380 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,137 Show this card at any Subway restaurant, 381 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,373 and you'll be pleased you did. 382 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:10,576 - Um, I'm sorry, but I think there's been a mistake. 383 00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:13,712 I pride myself knowing my students, 384 00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:16,215 and you're not one of them. 385 00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:21,320 Nico, how's French going? 386 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,554 Oh. 387 00:15:22,621 --> 00:15:24,556 - Oh, Kimmy's taking French, too. 388 00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:26,425 Let me hear something from you guys. 389 00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,794 I want to hear this French. [Nicholas chuckles] 390 00:15:36,001 --> 00:15:38,971 [laughter] 391 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,411 Ah, isn't he good? 392 00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,147 [laughter] 393 00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:51,617 - I wish I understood them, but I don't! 394 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:56,088 - Who ordered the rack of lamb? - Oh, uh, just put it here. 395 00:15:56,155 --> 00:15:59,491 My father won't be joining us tonight. 396 00:15:59,591 --> 00:16:03,128 - Wait, he's not making Parents' Weekend? 397 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:05,130 Oh, sweetheart, that's horrible. 398 00:16:05,197 --> 00:16:08,367 - Oh, it was kind of a work emergency. 399 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:12,104 - Work emergency? I thought he was a musician. 400 00:16:13,639 --> 00:16:15,040 - Uh-uh, no. 401 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,010 Look, I do not like my ex-husband. 402 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,545 He's a flake, 403 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,047 and I don't think he owns one single button-down shirt, 404 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:25,551 but you do not make my daughter feel bad about it. 405 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,153 - Evette, I did not-- - It's Senator Chase, Henry. 406 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,521 I saw the little eye-roll 407 00:16:29,621 --> 00:16:31,690 you gave your wife about my ex-husband. 408 00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:33,225 Don't do that to my kid. 409 00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:35,828 You wait until you get to the hotel for that shit. 410 00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:37,629 Come on! 411 00:16:39,698 --> 00:16:41,500 Whitney, I'm so sorry. 412 00:16:43,635 --> 00:16:45,170 It's okay. 413 00:16:47,806 --> 00:16:50,242 [sighs] 414 00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:55,247 ♪ ♪ 415 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:58,017 - Reena, may we borrow you for a family conversation? 416 00:16:58,083 --> 00:17:02,021 Bela has something to explain out back behind the restaurant. 417 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:05,157 Excuse me. 418 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:09,028 ♪ ♪ 419 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,763 - How could you lie to us like that? 420 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:14,333 - I can't believe I almost gave him a golden Subway card. 421 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,901 That's unlimited subs. 422 00:17:16,001 --> 00:17:17,770 - I'm sorry, I'm not taking biochem because I know 423 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,773 what I want to do with my life, and it's not being a doctor. 424 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,041 - I want to be a comedy writer. - [scoffs] 425 00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:24,710 - And I'm, like, making progress 426 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,246 and pledging a really exclusive comedy-writing group. 427 00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,881 And you guys love the funny stuff. 428 00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:31,216 - I like "Young Sheldon," and that is it. 429 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:32,785 Bela, this school is very expensive, 430 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,088 and we are paying for you to study and learn, 431 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,557 not play around. 432 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:39,858 [sighs] 433 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:43,962 [insects chirping] 434 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,431 [sighs] 435 00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,132 - My girlfriends, you know, they just keep them. 436 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:49,468 My best cook pan, remember, Peggy had that, 437 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:51,370 and I never saw it again. 438 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:54,706 So I just cook in those toss-away tins now. 439 00:17:54,773 --> 00:17:56,208 You should really use the real lemons, 440 00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:59,144 but, you know, in Arizona, it's offensive. 441 00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:01,814 If you get the thin stuff, it's gonna burn right through that, 442 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,749 then your top is ruined, anyway, on the pie. 443 00:18:03,816 --> 00:18:05,651 So, well, that's just one of my tricks. 444 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:10,155 ♪ ♪ 445 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:13,158 [indistinct chatter] 446 00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,295 - Oh, I-- Mm. 447 00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:18,931 Okay, let's see here. 448 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:21,066 Leighton, why is your card in here? 449 00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,634 - Oh, um, I-- 450 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:27,172 - It's my card, the Malhotras, Senator Chase, 451 00:18:27,272 --> 00:18:28,841 and yours. 452 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,676 Wait, we didn't pay? 453 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:37,349 Leighton, why did you pay for our dinner? 454 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,518 Oh, um... 455 00:18:39,618 --> 00:18:42,020 it--it--it was a surprise treat. 456 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,590 I asked her to. 457 00:18:44,656 --> 00:18:50,696 ♪ ♪ 458 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,332 [chuckles awkwardly] 459 00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:55,467 It's... [clears throat] 460 00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:58,103 Silly. Here you go, Leighton. Sorry. 461 00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,705 - Well, Carol, don't worry about it. 462 00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:02,107 - No, no, I insist. - Carol, it's fine. 463 00:19:02,174 --> 00:19:04,676 I'm paying for our portion... 464 00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:08,547 of the bill, so it's end of discussion. 465 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,522 Ma'am, your card. 466 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,960 - Thank you for saying that about Dad. 467 00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:24,363 It meant a lot to me that you defended him, 468 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:27,065 and the look on Leighton's dad's face-- 469 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,534 - He was right about your dad. 470 00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,837 I'm so sick of making excuses for him. 471 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,839 I show up, you hate me. 472 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,643 He doesn't show up, you love him. 473 00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:41,146 Whitney, one day you're gonna realize 474 00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:45,184 he doesn't deserve the pedestal you put him on. 475 00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:49,221 [moody indie music] 476 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:56,061 ♪ ♪ 477 00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:59,698 - I'm going to ask the valet what's taking so long. 478 00:19:59,765 --> 00:20:03,335 - [groans] He's so mad. - Mm, he'll be fine. 479 00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:06,672 Bela, I know how much this dream means to you, 480 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:08,941 but we need you to protect your future, 481 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,711 just in case you don't become the next Amy Schumer. 482 00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:14,680 - I'm impressed you remembered her name. 483 00:20:14,746 --> 00:20:16,114 Ha, of course I do. 484 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,450 You spent years watching her videos-- 485 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,285 boobs, sex, funny stuff. 486 00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:23,355 Damn, Mom. 487 00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:25,390 Beta, I cut you a deal. 488 00:20:25,457 --> 00:20:27,059 You promise me that you will take 489 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:29,595 that professor's biochemistry course next semester, 490 00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:32,197 and I will work on your father, 491 00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:35,634 get him to be a little more supportive. 492 00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,936 I can do that. 493 00:20:38,036 --> 00:20:40,472 Also, I need money to buy books and underwear. 494 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,075 - I already put an envelope on your dresser. 495 00:20:43,141 --> 00:20:45,544 [laughs] 496 00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:49,114 ♪ ♪ 497 00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:51,049 [sighs] 498 00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:56,121 ♪ ♪ 499 00:20:56,221 --> 00:20:58,657 - I'm sorry if I embarrassed you at dinner tonight. 500 00:20:58,757 --> 00:21:01,827 - Oh, you mean when you made me look like a street urchin 501 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,595 in front of the rich people? 502 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,230 [chuckles] 503 00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:08,400 I knew dinner was gonna be expensive--I'd saved for it. 504 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,002 I just freaked out. 505 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,938 Fitting in at Essex has been harder than I expected. 506 00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:15,774 - Speaking of fitting in, where'd you get that coat? 507 00:21:15,841 --> 00:21:18,677 It's not the one I shipped you. 508 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:21,947 It's Leighton's. 509 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,982 Oh, boy. 510 00:21:24,082 --> 00:21:27,319 Honey, I am so proud of you for being here. 511 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:30,022 And I want you to have every amazing experience 512 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,290 this place has to offer. 513 00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:33,859 I just don't want you to pretend 514 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,194 to be somebody you're not. 515 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,663 I'm not. 516 00:21:37,763 --> 00:21:41,867 - I think you've changed a little since Move-in Day, 517 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:46,138 and I'm not saying in a bad way, I'm just... 518 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:48,006 I'm noticing it. 519 00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:51,143 Hey, it's okay. 520 00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:53,712 Want to walk me back to the hotel? 521 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:55,147 Yeah 522 00:21:55,213 --> 00:21:59,318 ♪ ♪ 523 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,654 - All I said was-- 524 00:22:02,721 --> 00:22:05,390 - You know, I feel like she's not here for the right reasons. 525 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:07,459 And, honestly, neither is she. 526 00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,996 [indistinct chatter on laptop] 527 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,365 - I think I like you better than anyone I know. 528 00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:16,068 Oh, no, that is so sad. 529 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,503 We've only known each other for, like, four weeks. 530 00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:20,572 - Okay, well, I don't like a lot of people. 531 00:22:20,672 --> 00:22:23,241 - Nah, don't compliment me and then water it down. 532 00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,178 I want to feel that full-blown compliment. 533 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:30,015 Tell me how you like me. 534 00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,917 - No! - Tell me how you like me! 535 00:22:32,017 --> 00:22:33,919 - Get off me, you little weirdo! 536 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:36,355 Come on, you're pushing my boob! 537 00:22:36,421 --> 00:22:39,391 [electronic music] 538 00:22:39,491 --> 00:22:46,565 ♪ ♪ 539 00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:56,775 [knock at door] 540 00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,177 That dinner fucking sucked. 541 00:22:59,244 --> 00:23:01,947 It wasn't that bad. 542 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,583 Like, for what it's worth, 543 00:23:04,683 --> 00:23:09,020 I don't think of you as poor or anything like that. 544 00:23:09,087 --> 00:23:11,289 I am, though. 545 00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:15,093 I am kind of poor, and that's okay. 546 00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:16,595 I just-- 547 00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:19,464 I wish I could still, like... 548 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:21,867 belong here. 549 00:23:21,933 --> 00:23:24,269 What, at Essex? 550 00:23:24,369 --> 00:23:26,037 You already do. 551 00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,574 - Thank you. [chuckles] 552 00:23:29,641 --> 00:23:36,748 ♪ ♪ 553 00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:54,833 Should we go to your room? 554 00:23:54,933 --> 00:23:58,303 - Actually, I should probably get to bed. 555 00:23:58,403 --> 00:24:01,673 I want to get a full eight hours of sleep in. 556 00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:03,275 Oh, okay. 557 00:24:03,341 --> 00:24:04,810 [chuckles] 558 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,445 I'm kidding. 559 00:24:06,511 --> 00:24:08,447 Let's go. 560 00:24:10,582 --> 00:24:17,656 ♪ ♪ 561 00:25:38,169 --> 00:25:39,237 Go to bed. 46885

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