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Paris - city of French people.
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00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,680
Home of Quasimodo,
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Louis XIV,
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00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,880
Hercule Poirot and Sacha Distel.
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00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:16,760
City of lovers, of artists,
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of the croissant, the cappuccino.
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00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,800
City of moonlight, of dreams,
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00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,840
of men in coats
meeting in brasseries,
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and the setting for the fourth show
of Knowing Me Knowing You
with Alan Partridge!
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# Knowing me, knowing you, ah-ha,
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# There is nothing we can do.
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00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,200
# Knowing me, knowing you, ah-ha,
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00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:56,360
# We just have to face it,
this time we're through.
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00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,320
# Knowing me, knowing you! #
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AH-HAH!
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THEME MUSIC
PLAYED IN FRENCH CAFE STYLE
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LOUD APPLAUSE
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00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:15,120
# Savant moi, savant vous! #
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Bonjour!
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00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,880
Bonjour, bienvenue, tout le monde!
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Why am I speaking in French?
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It's because tonight's show
is live from Paris!
WHOOPS
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What was once a pipe dream is now
the Channel tunnel - a big pipe.
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00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:42,320
Tonight,
we're building a new construction,
one invulnerable to terrorism.
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It's a castle of chat,
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a CHAT-eau!
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LAUGHTER
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Or, since we're in Paris,
a CHAT-isserie!
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LAUGHTER
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Please welcome my co-host,
a delightful French madame -
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although she doesn't
run a whore-house -
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but she does have excellent
organisational skills!
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France's Sue Lawley - Nina Vanier!
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MUSIC: "Nina, Pretty Ballerina"
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You won't find these
at your local B & Q. They're...
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..French.
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Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing
you, Nina Vanier, ah-hah. Ah-huh.
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00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:43,440
I thought you'd say on-hon,
but...you didn't.
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My British friends would want me
to say - we love the tunnel,
but don't send us rabid dogs!
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LAUGHTER
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We won't as long as
you don't send us any mad cows.
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Our cows went mad
from being bitten by your dogs.
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It's an interesting theory,
if xenophobic. No French.
44
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Xenophobic is an English word.
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It means
small-minded fear of other nations.
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It's time to meet our house band.
They came over on the HoverCat.
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Please meet Glenn...
Glenn Ponder and Savoir Faire!
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# Knowing me, knowing you! #
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Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing
you, Glenn Ponder, ah-hah. Ah-hah.
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00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,960
Knowing me, Nina Vanier, knowing
you, Glenn Ponder, ah-huh. Uh-huh.
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And knowing you, Savoir Faire,
ah-hah. Ah-hah.
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Knowing you, Savoir Faire, ah-huh.
Uh-huh.
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00:03:54,920 --> 00:04:01,040
Glenn, I was walking in Paris
and I saw a madman
throw himself in the river.
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Really? Yes, he was IN-SEINE
- in the Seine.
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Seriously, Glenn,
are you looking forward
to the Folies Bergeres tonight?
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No, that was last night.
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What? Thought you knew.
We left a message.
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Well, I didn't get one.
I was in my hotel room all night.
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I ended up watching
"The Poseidon Adventure" in French.
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There was no message. We left one.
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Glenn Ponder and... Are you sure?
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Yes.
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Glenn Ponder and Savoir Faire!
APPLAUSE
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Delia Smith, Keith Floyd,
Fanny Craddock and Mr Kipling
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are all famous international chefs.
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So is our first...MY first guest.
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He's the most controversial chef
in Paris,
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passionate about food but not the
stars who dine in his restaurant.
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He poured rice pudding over Bryan
Ferry. And slapped Jeremy Irons.
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He's wry, he's spry,
he's crisp-n-dry! Welcome
super-chef Philippe Lambert!
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MUSIC: "Voulez-Vous"
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You certainly smell French!
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I mean...your aftershave
is very nice. Is it Aramis?
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No, Alan, it's cologne.
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Good smell.
Thank you. What's yours?
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Er...Slazenger sports.
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It's the stick type.
I...I don't use the roll-on
because it...er...traps the hairs.
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00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,640
Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing
you, Philippe Lambert, ah-hah!
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00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,640
Ah-huh.
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Now, Philippe,
you have very, very kindly
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arranged some delicacies here for
us to pick at throughout the show.
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I have to say,
this is a different world
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to the universe of Hula Hoops,
cheesy Wotsits and Monster Munch!
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What's your approach to cuisine?
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00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:42,680
I don't have an approach,
I have a reproach.
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00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,720
I am bored
by the restaurant industry.
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To me,
it seems little more than a pig
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endlessly regurgitating
and consuming that which...
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..it eats...
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..without discrimination...
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00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,320
..without taste...
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..or joy.
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I'm not interested
in Egon Ronay's. You know,
I sent my Michelin stars back.
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00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:16,360
You sent them back?
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You just peeled the sticker off
the window? No, no, no, no, Alan.
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It IS quite hard,
but it can be done.
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Soak a sponge in soapy, warm water
and hold it against the sticker.
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Leave it for half an hour
and it'll just peel off.
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Thank you, Alan, I'll remember that.
Warm soapy water. Thank you.
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It's got to be warm.
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Philippe, the other interesting
thing about your restaurant is
that it has no name. That's right.
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It is, if you like, an irony
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that while it has no name,
people refer to it
as The Restaurant With No Name.
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Like Clint Eastwood.
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00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,680
What?
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H'nn.
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I just said,
it's like Clint Eastwood.
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What is?
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In the spaghetti westerns, he was
known as the Man With No Name.
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00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:38,120
It's an irony Jacques Derrida would
appreciate. Indeed, he regularly
dines and appreciates the irony.
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Who's he?
Jacques Derrida, the philosopher.
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I've never heard of him!
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He's the most famous philospher
in the world! I wouldn't say that.
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LAUGHTER
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Alan, would you care to name
a more famous one?
Yeah. All the...the Greek ones.
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One who is alive. Who is
the most famous philosopher, Alan?
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Peter Ustinov?
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Yes, absolutely right.
I'd forgotten about him. Thank you.
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I'm lost.
Your next question, Confucius(?)
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I'm not confused.
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OK, here's one. You are known
as the top chef in your field.
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You only have one restaurant.
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Berni Inn has thousands!
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Jealous?
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I don't know. Who is Berni Inn?
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You've NEVER heard of Berni Inn?!
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He's the most famous steakhouse
owner in the world!
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Well, I'm sorry, Alan.
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Maybe Peter Ustinov and Berni Inn
should open a steakhouse together.
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Have a steak and talk philosophy.
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They could call it...Pete and
Berni's Philosophical Steakhouse.
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It's a good idea.
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Like that one, Alan?
134
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:20,760
Yeah. It's quite nice.
It's quite chewy. What is it?
135
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,760
It's beef. What sort of beef?
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Bull.
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What...what part of the bull?
It's a gland.
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00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,720
LAUGHTER
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00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,600
How...how many glands does...
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00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,680
LAUGHTER
How many of these glands
does it have?
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Two.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
Philippe Lambert!
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Now... No, that's me. Sorry.
Now, time for some light relief.
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If I said clown time was over,
I'd be lying.
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It's time now to
SEND IN THE CLOWNS!
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I'm sure
I won't see the TEARS OF A CLOWN
because I'm told they're hilarious.
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00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:34,800
Welcome Pompidou prix de joie
winners - Cirque des Clowns!
Circus of clowns!
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Ping!
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No! NO!
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No...
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..no, no.
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NO! No, no.
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Cirque des Clowns!
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Grow up!
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Grow up!
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CHORUS OF SHUSHES
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Thank you. Cirque des...
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Cirque des...
SHH!
SHH!
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I presume you're in charge.
Let me tell you...
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..there's a security guard
called Steve.
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I promise you, if you make
another sound when you leave here,
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he will hurt you, physically.
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Cirque des Clowns...
BARP!
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They are...
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Sorry, I haven't broken wind!
I haven't broken wind. That's them!
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Cirque des Clowns will be doing
a tour of arts centres in Britain.
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I'm sure
there will be tickets available.
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You're a disgrace!
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Cirque des Clowns!
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Insanity!
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00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,680
What are you DOING THERE? GET OUT!
Why's he still here?!
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Can someone remove this clown?!
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00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,240
Where's Steve?
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Backstage? No...he'll get him after.
He'll get him after.
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I'll do it standing up!
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I hope my next guest doesn't...
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I'll do it here!
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I hope my next guest doesn't suffer
from vertigo, because she's at the
HEIGHT of her profession! DRUMBEAT
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00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:57,760
She's a top international fashion
designer who hails from Lancashire.
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Let me just say,
YOU look stupid, not me!
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I'll do it on three.
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On three.
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00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:11,520
She's a top fashion designer
from Lancashire.
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I can't... Nina? Yes?
Can you get rid of him?
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Alors, Toto, il vaut mieux pas.
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Il n'est pas tellement experimente
avec quelqu'un de ton niveau.
Ah, bon.
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Oui, merci.
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There he goes...
APPLAUSE
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There he goes,
tail between his legs!
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STEVE, HE'S COMING OUT!
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I hope my next guest has no vertigo
because she's at the HEIGHT
of her profession. DRUMBEAT
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00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:54,040
Sorry, what did you say to him?
It's not necessary to translate.
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00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:59,640
I want to know. You don't NEED
to know! I command you to tell me!
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00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:05,080
I said you are out of your depth
with an artiste of his calibre,
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00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:09,880
and your lack of experience
makes you unable to cope.
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Thank you.
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00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:21,000
I hope my next guest has no vertigo
because she's at the height
of her profession. DRUMBEAT
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00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,440
You don't need to do it now!
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00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:29,880
She arrived by train
because she doesn't like flying.
She does have vertigo.
200
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:35,920
She caught the train at Waterloo.
Fashion guru, Yvonne Boyd!
From WATERLOO!
201
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,040
BAND PLAYS "Waterloo"
202
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,920
Knowing me, Alan Partridge,
knowing you, Yvonne Boyd, ah-hah!
203
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,120
Want me to say ah-ha? Please.
204
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:07,320
Ah-ha.
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00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:14,640
I'm a big fan of your clothes.
I love the outfit you are wearing.
206
00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,720
I didn't know
you also did pantomime.
207
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,240
What do you mean?
208
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:27,480
I presume you're Widow Twankey?
No. Are you an Ugly Sister?
209
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:31,520
These are YVONNE'S clothes.
Sorry, I thought you did panto.
210
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,240
No, I don't do pantomime.
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00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,320
Well, maybe you should.
212
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:43,520
You've got the clothes
and, without being vulgar,
the money is good.
213
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:50,040
It's worth considering.
Peter Pan, Widow Twankey, Buttons!
214
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:58,240
Can you talk us through
the thinking behind your outfit?
215
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:02,960
It's a sort of fin-de-siecle
ghost in the machine.
216
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:08,560
Is that the distributor cap
off a Ford Mondeo? I've no idea.
217
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,440
Let's see.
218
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:16,920
Yes, it is.
Do you drive a Ford Mondeo?
No. I don't drive.
219
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:24,600
I don't like cars. Doesn't drive,
fly, or do panto. What DO you do?
I design clothes.
220
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,400
That all? Yes. That's interesting.
221
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:35,160
While you're a master of one trade,
I like to think
I'm an ALAN of all trades!
222
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,320
I've got a surprise for you, Yvonne.
223
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:43,360
This is a new regular section
of the show called Alan's Trades!
224
00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:47,400
I'll demonstrate a trade
that I'm an Alan of.
225
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,320
This week's Alan Trade is fashion.
226
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,840
Now, I'm not Giorgio Armani -
227
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,720
I'm Alan Partridge -
228
00:18:55,720 --> 00:19:02,880
but my name has become associated
with a certain look
that I'd define as sports casual.
229
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:08,840
Yvonne, tell me what you think
as we look at a Partridge in Paris!
230
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,280
A. Partridge in Paris -
ALAN Partridge in Paris.
231
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:18,240
The first look is what you'd wear
to drive to Paris -
232
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:22,880
canary yellow shirt,
blue stay-creased action slacks,
233
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,880
cap, polaroids,
tan driving gloves.
234
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:30,800
It says,
"I'm in control of my vehicle!"
235
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,280
Who's this cool customer?
236
00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:37,440
Ice white shoes,
socks with navy double cadet stripe,
237
00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:42,600
shorts, T-shirt with chevron
action flash - L'homme du sport!
238
00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:49,760
Man of sport. The tossed pink
sweater that says, "I'm in Paris
and nothing's going to stop me!"
239
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,120
That's the Eiffel Tower.
240
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,320
The classic
English gentleman abroad.
241
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:59,360
It's David Niven, Stewart Granger,
Nigel Havers.
242
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,200
The look - imperial leisure!
243
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:07,240
Offset the look with those four
reliables - hat, cravat, specs,
244
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,600
and, a touch of class,
the Alan Partridge blazer badge!
245
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:16,360
I'll describe the blazer badge.
246
00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,160
In the... I'll do it next week.
247
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:24,360
The place - Champs Elysees.
The man - Alan Partridge.
248
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:26,960
The look - strolling pastel!
249
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:32,000
A classic summer suit with
the omission of long trousers.
250
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:34,800
A Partridge in Paris!
251
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,600
APPLAUSE
252
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:44,400
Yvonne, is fashion a necessity
of culture or a cultural necessity?
253
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,440
Wait.
254
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,920
LAUGHTER
255
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:53,000
It appears to be happy hour
at Pete and Berni's
Philosophical Steakhouse!
256
00:20:55,160 --> 00:21:01,160
Fashion is a necessity of culture.
Clothes just cover up our nakedness.
257
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:05,760
Underneath our clothes,
we're all naked. Even Alan.
258
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:08,280
No, I'm not.
LAUGHTER
259
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:14,720
All we are saying is that under your
clothes, you are naked. No, I'm not.
260
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:21,440
Now, Yvonne,
we're about to see some clothes
from your menswear collection.
261
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:26,640
Now, the theme of my collection
was sports casual.
262
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:31,720
Now, bearing in mind
that Pete and Berni's is CLOSED,
263
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:34,280
what's the theme of your collection?
264
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:40,400
The futility of mortality.
Why do I bother?!
Bring on the models.
265
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,040
The first model is Tor.
266
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:51,960
Tor's cap and shorts
are made of bandages.
267
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,360
His linen jacket
has real surgical stitching.
268
00:21:57,360 --> 00:22:02,360
He also has a little truss on,
which is a sort of ironic bum-bag.
269
00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:10,000
Is this man injured? No.
The whole collection is based
on images of hospitalisation.
270
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:14,560
You've had an op, you want
to look good on the ward...
271
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,360
..that's what you wear. No.
272
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:22,520
You wear them on the street.
He's wearing slippers!
273
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:27,680
The only man I know who wears
slippers outside is called Duggie.
274
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:32,760
He wanders round Norwich shopping
precinct with a Cornish pasty,
275
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,640
shouting, "Get away, it's a bomb!"
276
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,840
He's insane.
277
00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,920
Maybe he's sane and we're all mad.
278
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:44,640
LAUGHTER
Anyway, the next model...
279
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,800
..the next one is Newman.
280
00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:55,400
Newman has got a more formal look.
That's beautiful, Yvonne. Thank you.
281
00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:05,000
Here, you see, I've broken up
the classic lines of the suit
with a saline drip on an umbrella...
282
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:12,000
..and with a pair of brogues,
one of which is orthopaedic.
283
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,160
Looks like he's been in a car crash!
284
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:21,360
The final model is Matt.
This plays with ideas
of constriction and freedom.
285
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:30,200
Just as the plaster boots impede,
the bandage kilt liberates.
286
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:35,720
This corn plaster waistcoat -
are they used? For goodness' sake!
287
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:38,040
Don't be so ludicrous!
288
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:44,160
I'm being told I'm ludicrous
by Mrs Whippy-head(!)
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
289
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,480
That's my collection.
Yvonne, it's a triumph!
290
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,960
Thank you. Thank you, Nina.
291
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,720
APPLAUSE
Sorry, I... Yeah, yeah.
292
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:03,360
Sorry, I've got to ask
a couple of questions.
293
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,960
What's round this man's midriff?
294
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,640
It's a blood-bag. What if it bursts?
295
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:13,880
You mop it up. What with?
With the eye-patch.
296
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,160
It's no problem.
297
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:22,120
I mean, what if your nose bleeds?
What if your arm bursts?
298
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,440
LAUGHTER
What?
299
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:29,080
What? What if your arm bursts?
300
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:35,880
I've heard of a nosebleed,
but in my 14 years
of professional broadcasting,
301
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:40,480
including three years
as a hospital radio disc jockey,
302
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,680
I've never had anyone say,
"My arm's just burst.
303
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,560
"Could you play a dedication?"
304
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:54,680
You've just got me on here to
ridicule the clothes. I'll show you!
305
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,400
You with the orthopaedic shoe...
Newman.
306
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:02,160
Newman,
just walk here and walk back.
307
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:11,640
That man has no dignity!
What IS dignity?!
308
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:18,320
That...THAT is dignity!
LAUGHTER
309
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,320
More or less.
310
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,920
No-one will wear these clothes.
311
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:25,960
They're rubbish!
312
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:30,840
Ordinary people do not like them.
I like them. So do I.
313
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:34,200
You're not ordinary. You're French!
314
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:39,040
What are you two staring at?
You look like the Steptoe wives.
315
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:40,880
LAUGHTER
316
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,280
I think you mean
the Stepford wives.
317
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,560
I thought you French
were good at chatting -
318
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:52,440
sitting in brasseries, chomping
onions and going oh-hi-hon-hi-hon!
319
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,800
You're just being racist. I'm not.
320
00:25:55,800 --> 00:26:00,160
French people go oh-hi-hon-hi-hon.
That's a FACT!
321
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,480
We've come to the end of the show.
322
00:26:06,480 --> 00:26:13,640
I've enjoyed it. I'd like to think
our two nations are closer than
they were at the start of the show.
323
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:18,920
It simply remains for me to thank
my co-host. It's been a pleasure.
324
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:24,520
Doing anything interesting tonight?
I'm too exhausted after last night.
325
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,520
Why's that?
I went to the Folies Bergeres.
326
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:33,680
Oh, so did Glenn Ponder.
I was there, too. I was there.
327
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,440
My models were there.
328
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:40,040
Glenn invited us.
The clowns were there.
329
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:45,040
The CLOWNS?! Yes. Your security
guard, Steve, he was there.
330
00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:50,720
No?! He is good friends with the
clowns. The band were there, too.
331
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:54,880
The ba...?
You! Accordion man, were you there?
332
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,160
Yeah.
333
00:26:57,120 --> 00:27:00,720
PHILIPPE: Everyone except you, Alan.
GLENN...
334
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,880
..why didn't you invite me?
I left a message.
335
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:10,320
I'm going to ask you a question and
I want an honest, truthful answer.
336
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:13,760
Did you leave a message
for me last night?
337
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:14,800
No.
338
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,520
Thank you. Quite honestly, Alan,
339
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:29,400
I didn't think they'd let you in.
There was sign saying "No jeans.
No trainers. No sports casual wear!"
340
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,120
Just a joke. Just a joke, huh?
341
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:43,480
Here's a good joke. There's
this bloke called Glenn Ponder.
342
00:27:43,480 --> 00:27:50,920
He's playing jazz synthesiser
in a Norwich wine bar! In walks
Alan, who gives him a big break.
343
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:54,200
Glenn gets lippy.
Glenn gets the sack!
344
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,760
LAUGHTER
345
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:01,120
What do you mean?
You're sacked!
346
00:28:01,120 --> 00:28:03,600
You are sacked! I'm sacking you!
347
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:08,640
In fact, it's happened. You are
a sacked man! You've BEEN sacked!
348
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:13,480
I want you off these premises
in ten minutes!
349
00:28:13,480 --> 00:28:17,320
Knowing me, Alan Partridge,
SACKING you, Glenn Ponder!
350
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:19,440
AH-HAH!
351
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,040
APPLAUSE
And...on that bombshell,
352
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:29,880
it's knowing me, Alan Partridge,
knowing you, Monsieur Testicle,
you, pantomime cow
353
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,120
and you, Ms Oh-hi-hon-hi-hon!
354
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:36,400
Goodnight, arrivederci and AH-HAH!
355
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,440
BAND STARTS OUTRO MUSIC
Not you! Not YOU!
356
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,680
JUST YOU!
357
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:45,160
SOLO ACCORDION PLAYS
29353
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