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1
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:19,686
They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:21,647
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,690
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,734
The Addams family
5
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,736
The house is a museum
6
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,780
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,698
They really are a scream
8
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,450
The Addams family
9
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:35,827
Neat.
10
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,579
Sweet.
11
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:41,625
Petite.
12
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,669
So get a witch's shawl on
13
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,587
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:47,589
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:50,384
The Addams family
16
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:08,151
Querida.
17
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:16,451
Thank you, Gate.
18
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:20,414
- Oh, it's so good to be home.
- Place looks as warm and inviting as ever.
19
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:25,043
Bat-hunting is fun, but it's nice to be back
among our own surroundings.
20
00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:29,798
- What do I do with the bats?
- Just turn them loose in the attic.
21
00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,010
Oh, and Lurch, you may have
a few of them for your room.
22
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:37,723
Wait till the children see them.
They'll have a ball.
23
00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:40,559
Bats and ball! Rather clever, eh, Lurch?
24
00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,814
I knew you'd appreciate it.
25
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:48,817
Dear Mama.
I'm so glad we're home, really.
26
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,987
If we leave her alone too long,
she tends to brood.
27
00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:55,199
I don't know why. She has her lizards
and her comfy nail bed.
28
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,702
And if things get dull she can always
throw darts at Uncle Fester.
29
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,747
Dear Uncle Fester, he's so sweet that way.
30
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,458
And he makes such a lovely big target.
31
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,757
Mama! Uncle Fester!
32
00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,718
The hunters are home from the hill.
33
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:19,431
- Gomez, do you smell something?
- Your perfume.
34
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,102
Cara mia, it sets my blood aflame.
35
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,272
- Darling, it's not me. It's that.
- Oh?
36
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,775
MORTICIA: Mama's been
burning incense again.
37
00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,693
She knows I can't stand it.
38
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:34,780
- You know what that means, don't you?
- I'm gonna have a sinus attack?
39
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:37,324
She's been telling fortunes
while we were gone.
40
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:40,035
Oh, I thought she kicked that habit
years ago.
41
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,828
Oh, dear.
42
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:43,705
The worst?
43
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:48,085
"Sit down and be quiet. Madame Bovary
will be with you in a jiffy."
44
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,795
Mama does have style.
45
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,880
The last time she went on
a fortune-telling spree,
46
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,799
she was Madame De Pompadour.
47
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:58,053
Oh, darling, lead me in.
I don't think I can look.
48
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,015
Courage, my dear. It's probably
just a practical joke of Mama's.
49
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:08,480
- Well?
- I think we'd better go back to the hunt.
50
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:18,031
Well, my dear, Mama hasn't lost any
of the old carnival spirit.
51
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:20,993
Masquerading as a gypsy.
It's so unbecoming.
52
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,328
She does have occult powers, though.
53
00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:26,456
She predicted that I would run
every business I ever had
54
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:29,501
right into the ground.
And, by George, she was right.
55
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,337
Pure coincidence.
56
00:03:32,504 --> 00:03:36,049
Darling, how are we going to get her to
stop this without hurting her feelings?
57
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:38,010
I could set the tent on fire.
58
00:03:39,261 --> 00:03:45,434
Dear Gomez, you still have traces of
Mamoud Khali Pasha Addams.
59
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:48,020
The firebug of the Bosporus.
60
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,855
Breeding will tell.
61
00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,649
We'd better have a look.
62
00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:03,952
Isn't this exciting? Tell me everything.
63
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:08,540
- It's all in the ball.
- Oh, yes.
64
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:12,711
Here's a little gratuity for you,
Madame Bovary.
65
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,422
Madame Bovary thanks you.
66
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,724
Must be the excitement.
67
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,142
Why, that naughty Thing.
68
00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:31,021
- He's in this with her.
- Working hand in hand.
69
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,689
What do you see?
70
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,319
- I see a jail.
- A jail?
71
00:04:37,736 --> 00:04:41,281
- And you are in it.
- Oh, that's impossible.
72
00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:45,536
Lady, kindly don't argue with me.
Argue with the ball.
73
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:49,414
- I'm sorry. Tell me more.
- Time's up.
74
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,920
- See?
- Incredible.
75
00:04:55,712 --> 00:05:00,300
Well, if you get any more messages
from up there, just call me.
76
00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:03,136
Of course, of course. Next please!
77
00:05:13,230 --> 00:05:15,107
She's fabulous.
78
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,446
GRANDMAMA: Next. Keep moving.
79
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:31,248
"Lizard tails and rattlesnakes,
In the cauldron boil and bake
80
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:35,169
"Eye of newt and toe of frog,
81
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:42,009
"Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Spirits high and spirits low
82
00:05:42,176 --> 00:05:45,554
"Tell us what we want to..."
83
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,264
Oh, oh.
84
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,227
Well, I guess it's time to be getting lunch.
85
00:05:52,603 --> 00:05:56,315
- Mama, aren't you ashamed?
- I don't see why.
86
00:05:56,523 --> 00:06:01,320
I love reciting Shakespeare.
Besides, I made $84 in tips.
87
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:03,488
Not bad.
88
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:07,201
I don't care about the money.
I like telling fortunes.
89
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,702
Out of the question.
90
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,163
Oh, please, just a few more?
91
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:15,709
- Not another one, Mama.
- Querida, be lenient.
92
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:19,004
Look at the anguish in that soulful face.
93
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:25,010
Well, just one more.
94
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:30,057
And then that goes back where it belongs.
On the chandelier.
95
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:44,696
I do wish Mama would come out
of that tent.
96
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:48,242
She's hoping to go into a trance.
It seems to do things for her personality.
97
00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:53,330
- Peerless Lead just went up to $209.
- And you sold it at $4?
98
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,833
- $3.
- How thoughtful.
99
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,877
Whatever would we have done
with a houseful of lead?
100
00:07:03,841 --> 00:07:07,010
This is the place, sergeant.
I'll go inside. You wait out here.
101
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,847
You see anybody come running out,
arrest 'em.
102
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:27,656
FESTER: Howdy!
103
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:38,375
- Are you Madame Bovary?
- Do I look like Madame Bovary?
104
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:42,462
- Sorry.
- Where did you hear about the Madame?
105
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:46,133
Well, somebody recommended her.
She really that good?
106
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,677
Well, if you like that
looking-into-the-future stuff.
107
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,387
Me, I'm a practical man.
108
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:53,599
Now, electricity.
That's something you can believe in.
109
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,396
See what I mean?
110
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,941
Please, would you just take me inside?
111
00:08:03,025 --> 00:08:06,111
Well, if you prefer mumbo-jumbo
to science. Come on.
112
00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,865
It's up. It's down.
113
00:08:10,741 --> 00:08:13,827
It's up. It's down.
114
00:08:16,455 --> 00:08:17,581
It's gone.
115
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:24,755
Come on.
116
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,926
Come on.
117
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,681
Mama, I got a live one.
118
00:08:34,765 --> 00:08:37,100
Oh, Morticia, Gomez.
When did you get back?
119
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,937
- Short while ago.
- Did you bag me any buzzards?
120
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:45,108
Oh, yes, we got you some beauties.
We caught them right at molting time.
121
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,612
Oh, isn't that wonderful?
122
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:52,074
Aren't you gonna introduce us
to your friend?
123
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:55,619
Oh, he's no friend. He just wants
to get his fortune told.
124
00:08:55,786 --> 00:09:00,749
GRANDMAMA: "Lizard tail and rattlesnake,
In the cauldron boil and bake"
125
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,839
- What was that?
- Mama warming up.
126
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,633
Madame Bovary during office hours.
127
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:10,759
Can I go in?
128
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,636
You'd better,
before she goes into a trance.
129
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:14,429
- Trance?
- Good luck.
130
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:24,147
Oh, I do hope Mama conducts herself
with poise and dignity.
131
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,277
Can't be more dignified than that.
132
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:39,162
- You naughty little man.
- What are you talking about?
133
00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:42,332
Lulu May Lou from Louisville.
134
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:46,712
- Lulu May Lou from Louisville?
- Kansas City?
135
00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:50,340
I don't know Lulu May Lou
from Kansas City either.
136
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,551
Sally May Lou?
137
00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,930
- Lulu May Sally?
- Let's forget it.
138
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,017
You were gonna tell me about the future.
139
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,311
Oh, yes.
140
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:06,023
Your future is coming through.
141
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,817
I can see it clearly.
142
00:10:08,901 --> 00:10:12,196
Yeah, well,
I can see yours even more clearly.
143
00:10:12,654 --> 00:10:16,366
- Oh, you a gypsy, too?
- No, I'm a police officer.
144
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,785
Lady, you're going to jail.
145
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:22,956
I better get a new ball.
Everybody seems to be going to jail.
146
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:27,211
Well, I don't know about everybody.
But lady, you're under arrest.
147
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,296
Come on, Madame Bovary.
148
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,423
Back to the chandelier for you.
149
00:10:31,507 --> 00:10:34,343
Couldn't even tell me
he was a police officer.
150
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:41,350
- Is something wrong?
- This big boor is arresting me.
151
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,810
What's the meaning of this, Mr. Boor?
152
00:10:43,894 --> 00:10:49,066
This woman is under arrest for violation
of the municipal code, Section 4-3-3-0.
153
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:51,401
And she's going down to the station
with me.
154
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,738
Sorry, old man, we can't permit Mama
to go out with strangers.
155
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:58,450
He's right.
We've never been properly introduced.
156
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:02,287
Really?
Well, allow me to introduce myself.
157
00:11:02,371 --> 00:11:05,040
Police lieutenant James Poston.
158
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:08,794
- How do you do?
- How do... You're pinched.
159
00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:13,757
- Fine beginning.
- Don't fret, Mama.
160
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:17,761
You'll have the greatest legal brains
defending you since Clarence Darrow.
161
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:22,432
- But, darling, I haven't practiced in years.
- This will be excellent practice for you.
162
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,936
You're right. First thing we'll do
is obtain an injunction.
163
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,479
An injunction for what?
164
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:30,858
Oh, I'll think of something.
Doesn't hurt to have one handy.
165
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:33,360
Are you ready, Madame Bovary?
166
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:36,655
From now on,
I'll thank you to call me Madame X.
167
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:41,743
Courage, Mama.
We'll have you out of jail by sundown.
168
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:44,955
- How, darling, how?
- Conceal a hacksaw in a pie.
169
00:11:45,122 --> 00:11:48,208
Hacksaw in a pie.
But isn't that dangerous?
170
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,170
Remember when we did that
for Cousin Cringe?
171
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:54,131
- Cousin Cringe?
- Yes, he ate the hacksaw.
172
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,258
In fact, he developed a taste for them.
173
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,635
Yes. Well, forget the hacksaw.
174
00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,388
- We'll claim insanity.
- Mama's?
175
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,557
- The lieutenant's.
- Very clever.
176
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:07,102
- I'm not sure it'll work.
- Why not?
177
00:12:07,311 --> 00:12:09,271
- Politics.
- Oh, that's true.
178
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,903
I'll have the law declared unconstitutional.
179
00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:19,281
Lieutenant Poston's 3-3-4-0 will be erased
from the statutes.
180
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:22,034
Brilliant, darling, absolutely brilliant.
181
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:26,079
But didn't lieutenant Poston
say that law was 4-3-3-0?
182
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:31,668
Or was it 3-3-4-0?
Maybe it was 3-0-0-0-0-0.
183
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,338
I'll have them all
declared unconstitutional.
184
00:12:34,421 --> 00:12:36,006
Can't be too careful, you know.
185
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:40,010
Darling, it's so reassuring to have
Mama's defense in your hands.
186
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:42,804
Well, they didn't call me
"the loophole" for nothing.
187
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,098
No, the name fits you perfectly.
188
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:49,186
- I'm worried about one thing.
- Worried? Cara mia.
189
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:52,773
- About what?
- I don't know what to wear to court.
190
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:04,785
Hey, let me out of here!
Let me out of here!
191
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,538
Mama, you poor darling,
what are they doing to you?
192
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:11,500
Nothing. I saw this cup-banging scene
in a prison picture once.
193
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,545
- You were very convincing.
- Thank you.
194
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:17,464
- Where's Gomez?
- He's working on your release.
195
00:13:17,548 --> 00:13:21,385
- Never lost a case, you know.
- Never won one, either. Perfect record.
196
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:25,055
- Get your hands off of me. Release me!
- Now keep moving, keep moving.
197
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:27,724
Madame Bovary.
198
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,686
Welcome, dear.
You made it just as I predicted.
199
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:33,397
- I told you she's fabulous.
- What happened?
200
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,275
Well, I was crossing a street
in the middle of the block
201
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,111
and an officer had the nerve
to give me a ticket.
202
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,405
So naturally I kicked him.
203
00:13:42,698 --> 00:13:44,074
Just bear with it.
204
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:47,703
My husband will take your case
as soon as he frees Mama.
205
00:13:47,786 --> 00:13:51,832
- Oh, is your husband a lawyer?
- He's the great loophole.
206
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:59,464
Look, mister, I don't make the laws.
207
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:02,801
Just pay the $10 fine
and you can have her out in five minutes.
208
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,720
I'm afraid I couldn't do that.
209
00:14:04,803 --> 00:14:08,390
It wouldn't give Mama time enough to do
her famous mess hall scene.
210
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,350
She just loves prison pictures.
211
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,604
Look, I might even get the judge
to reduce the fine.
212
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:16,773
Oh, it's not a matter of money,
it's a question of principle.
213
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:18,859
Just what do you want?
214
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:23,113
I demand an immediate trial,
complete acquittal, and a full apology.
215
00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:27,284
Well, chum,
you sure picked the right judge for that.
216
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:34,291
First case. "The People v. Addams."
217
00:14:42,799 --> 00:14:47,137
Bailiff, which one is the defendant?
218
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,140
The odd-Looking one.
219
00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:56,396
I repeat, which one is the defendant?
220
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,275
The old bat on the end.
221
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,073
Trolling on skid row?
222
00:15:06,657 --> 00:15:09,701
Fortune-telling. The others are her family.
223
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:11,703
Figured.
224
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,962
- Who's the complainant?
- I am, Your Honor.
225
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:24,007
This woman is in violation
of the municipal code, Section 4-3-3-0.
226
00:15:24,675 --> 00:15:27,469
Is the defendant represented by counsel?
227
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:35,936
- You are counsel for the defendant?
- That honor belongs to my dear husband.
228
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:39,690
Permit me to introduce
the bar's brightest light,
229
00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:42,526
Gomez "Loophole" Addams.
230
00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:47,906
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
231
00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:49,908
What goes on here?
232
00:15:49,992 --> 00:15:53,162
Just sit tight, Judge,
and we'll show you how to run a trial.
233
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:57,040
- I warn you, I'll stand for no nonsense.
- I object.
234
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,835
- You object?
- Just testing.
235
00:16:02,171 --> 00:16:04,548
- Bailiff?
- Yes, Your Honor?
236
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,426
- Is this some sort of a joke?
- No, Your Honor.
237
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:11,972
- And that Addams is really a lawyer.
- I don't believe it.
238
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,766
- I checked.
- I still don't believe it.
239
00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:19,897
But we'll proceed.
This is getting interesting.
240
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,109
JUDGE: Proceed.
241
00:16:24,193 --> 00:16:25,736
And Mr. Addams,
242
00:16:26,904 --> 00:16:29,239
you'd better watch your step.
243
00:16:31,450 --> 00:16:35,120
Darling, I don't think he likes us.
Maybe you'd better pay him the $10.
244
00:16:35,204 --> 00:16:37,873
- For a trumped-up charge?
- Offer him $5.
245
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,292
Nonsense, we've got him on the run.
246
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,462
The first witness for the defense
will be the victim
247
00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:47,674
of this outrageous miscarriage of justice,
the defendant herself.
248
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:49,927
- Swear her in.
- I object.
249
00:16:50,260 --> 00:16:52,763
You object to your own witness
taking the oath?
250
00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:55,057
I certainly do. It cramps her style.
251
00:16:57,017 --> 00:16:59,520
You avoided that trap very neatly, darling.
252
00:16:59,603 --> 00:17:02,481
Gracias, cara mia, gracias.
253
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,568
Will you proceed?
254
00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:09,905
Yes, Your Honor.
255
00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:14,409
I shall ignore the prejudice, intimidation,
and irregularities of this entire farce
256
00:17:14,493 --> 00:17:19,331
and caution you that no matter
what the verdict is, I shall appeal.
257
00:17:23,001 --> 00:17:25,587
Order in this court. Order!
258
00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,591
- I object.
- You object?
259
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,428
Well, you don't expect me
to sit here like a dummy, do you?
260
00:17:33,512 --> 00:17:36,807
- I hold you in contempt.
- Well, that makes us even.
261
00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,394
That will cost you $50.
262
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,688
Sounds reasonable.
263
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:48,151
Now will you be quiet?
Or would you like to try for $100?
264
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,989
$100? Forget it. Sorehead.
265
00:17:52,781 --> 00:17:57,870
Sir, I warn you, you better shut
your clack up and get on with this case.
266
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,247
Yes, darling, I wish you would.
267
00:18:00,330 --> 00:18:02,791
That silly hammer
is giving me a headache.
268
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:07,129
Thank you, Thing.
269
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,133
Makes a wonderful law clerk.
270
00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:17,806
- You need some more light?
- Yes, please.
271
00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:21,435
That's better.
272
00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,771
- Thank you, Fester.
- Pleasure.
273
00:18:27,608 --> 00:18:28,859
Your Honor,
274
00:18:29,443 --> 00:18:32,821
the simple rule of law involved here
is amply demonstrated
275
00:18:32,905 --> 00:18:36,491
in the celebrated case of "Vauglin v. Broar"
276
00:18:36,575 --> 00:18:39,786
which reversed the decision
of Shepherd against Flug
277
00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:43,790
which upheld the decision
of ex parte Drake.
278
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:45,292
Reaffirming the dictum...
279
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,377
Hold it, hold it.
280
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,672
I wish you wouldn't interrupt my husband.
281
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,883
Go on, darling, I'm fascinated.
282
00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:57,262
Would you mind telling me what
all that's got to do with this case?
283
00:18:57,346 --> 00:19:00,057
- "Does Macy tell Gimbel?"
- Maybe not.
284
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,518
But let me tell you something.
285
00:19:02,601 --> 00:19:05,479
I'm beginning
to doubt your credentials as a lawyer.
286
00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:08,398
- I resent that.
- I think you're a fraud!
287
00:19:08,857 --> 00:19:09,900
That's different.
288
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,026
Ol�, ol�.
289
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:15,072
Listen, all of you, this is my final warning.
290
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,243
Your Honor, please, that hammer.
291
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:23,288
You run the noisiest court.
292
00:19:24,540 --> 00:19:27,334
- Perhaps you'd like to take over?
- May I?
293
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:30,295
- Be my guest.
- Thank you.
294
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:34,508
I think we may have misjudged
the poor dear.
295
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:36,510
That hammering does throw you.
296
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,639
Come, cara. Perhaps you can penetrate
the wall of bias and ignorance
297
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:42,724
surrounding this travesty of justice.
298
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:45,769
I can only try. Thank you, darling.
299
00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:51,775
Your Honor, one look at the accused
should convince you
300
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:54,570
that she is as innocent as a newborn babe.
301
00:19:57,239 --> 00:20:02,161
Madam, I've seen more innocent looks
on Murder Incorporated.
302
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:04,913
Must be this light.
303
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:10,460
True, a crime had been committed,
but not by this saintly old lady.
304
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,546
Hear, hear.
305
00:20:13,297 --> 00:20:16,216
The real criminal is right here
in this courtroom,
306
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,760
hiding behind a shield of respectability.
307
00:20:19,094 --> 00:20:21,388
- There's the culprit.
- Me?
308
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:25,267
- Might as well confess, old boy.
- Thought you'd beat the rap, huh?
309
00:20:25,726 --> 00:20:28,478
Wait till Lulu May Lou hears about this.
310
00:20:33,692 --> 00:20:36,904
- May I say a word?
- Please do.
311
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:40,949
- This is insanity.
- Exactly what we claim.
312
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:42,618
Your Honor, please.
313
00:20:42,701 --> 00:20:45,579
Did you
or did you not enter our peaceful home,
314
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:50,501
pretending to be a lover of the zodiac,
and caused this entire mishmash?
315
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:52,961
- Well, I...
- Answer the question.
316
00:20:54,171 --> 00:20:57,216
- Okay, I did.
- The defense rests.
317
00:20:57,966 --> 00:20:59,676
Brava! Brava!
318
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,054
Ol�, ol�, ol�.
319
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:03,347
Wonderful, Tish!
320
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:06,308
You tore them to shreds, Morticia.
321
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:14,274
- May I have another word?
- Please, speak right up.
322
00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:16,276
Thank you.
323
00:21:17,694 --> 00:21:22,032
Well, in all my 30 years on the bench,
324
00:21:22,366 --> 00:21:26,495
I have never seen
a more preposterous, idiotic,
325
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:29,915
reprehensible display of court conduct.
326
00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:33,418
Well, it did start that way,
but you redeemed yourself.
327
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:37,464
There is only one verdict possible
in this case.
328
00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:40,968
- Guilty. Guilty!
- Thank you.
329
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:45,013
But we beg you,
be lenient with the poor lieutenant.
330
00:21:48,767 --> 00:21:53,188
Well, sorry we can't stay around for
the sentencing. We're double-parked.
331
00:21:53,272 --> 00:21:55,232
JUDGE: You're not going anywhere.
332
00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:58,694
I'm declaring all of you guilty
of the worst contempt
333
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,904
I've ever been subjected to.
334
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:05,826
If I have my way
they'll reopen Alcatraz just for you.
335
00:22:07,828 --> 00:22:10,080
Isn't that sweet?
336
00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:14,376
Just a minute, Harvey.
I'll have something to say about this.
337
00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:17,462
- Arlene, what are you doing here?
- We'll get to that later.
338
00:22:17,546 --> 00:22:20,924
Right now, I demand that you
set aside your stupid verdict.
339
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:23,552
I'd rather be disbarred.
340
00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:26,346
Why, that old crow's
not only guilty of fraud, she's...
341
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:29,224
Fraud? Why, she's positively psychic.
342
00:22:29,308 --> 00:22:31,935
She predicted I'd end up in jail, and I did.
343
00:22:32,269 --> 00:22:34,396
- In jail?
- That's right, Your Honor.
344
00:22:34,479 --> 00:22:36,899
Your wife was picked up on a 412.
345
00:22:40,777 --> 00:22:43,071
- Well, you heard my decision.
- Harvey.
346
00:22:47,701 --> 00:22:49,119
Case dismissed.
347
00:22:49,244 --> 00:22:52,164
- I'm free!
- I told you we'd spring you.
348
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:54,082
Right was on our side.
349
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:56,752
Right and the judge's wife.
350
00:23:04,218 --> 00:23:06,637
This Zen-Yogi is wonderful for reading.
351
00:23:07,971 --> 00:23:09,264
So I see.
352
00:23:14,102 --> 00:23:15,479
What is it, Thing?
353
00:23:16,772 --> 00:23:19,107
We would like some more tea, yes.
354
00:23:25,614 --> 00:23:26,990
Thank you, Thing.
355
00:23:30,244 --> 00:23:33,455
- Darling, would you like your tea now?
- Later, my dear.
356
00:23:34,414 --> 00:23:37,292
It's so good to see you
with your law books again.
357
00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:40,546
Say something legal for me, dear.
358
00:23:41,713 --> 00:23:43,465
Non compos mentis.
359
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,218
Very appropriate.
360
00:23:49,471 --> 00:23:52,641
My dear! Did you know
that armed robbery was illegal?
361
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:55,143
I'm glad.
362
00:23:55,853 --> 00:23:58,313
But doesn't that make for unemployment?
363
00:23:58,647 --> 00:24:00,315
Well, no law is perfect.
364
00:24:02,276 --> 00:24:03,443
That's true.
365
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:07,656
Speaking of law, I wonder whatever
happened to old Judge Saunders.
366
00:24:09,241 --> 00:24:11,827
I can find out,
if you promise not to tell Mama.
367
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,120
I promise.
368
00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:18,125
Thing? You can bring it out of hiding now.
369
00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:26,008
You're a sly one.
Keeping the temptation from Mama.
370
00:24:26,425 --> 00:24:28,719
There he is. I can see him now.
371
00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:31,680
- And he's still a judge.
- Supreme court?
372
00:24:31,763 --> 00:24:33,098
County fair.
373
00:24:33,932 --> 00:24:35,642
He deserved the promotion.
29787
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