Original subtitles

- Previously on

- Previously on "Southern Charm"...

- This is for your bedroom. - So cute.

- As Chelsea put the finishing touches on her cozy cottage,

Queen Kathryn dropped some serious cash on her new castle.

You know what the rent on a place like that is?

- Oh, girl, I couldn't...

- $6,600 a month. - What?

- And while Craig tried to get his life together

with the help of his new assistant...

- Did you get drunk and order a box of beef jerky?

- I don't think so.

- Did you really?

- His ex was, as usual, a few steps ahead of him.

- We got a lot yesterday.

- We sold out of the tan bootie.

- We have one left of the black.

- And when we all got together

at Chelsea's housewarming party,

Kathryn confirmed a little something-something

I already knew.

Our little darling Kathryn here

had a little rendezvous with Whitney.

- Wait-wait-wait-- - [screams]

- Meanwhile, the guys continued to question

Austen's relationship with Madison.

- There is never getting the trust back once it's gone.

- Once it's done, it's done.

- But he couldn't care less what the haters say.

- You know, say what you want, but, like,

at the end of the day, I truly think that,

she, you know, makes me happy.

Then, like, that's all that people should care about.

- I think if something better came along,

Madison would say, "Deuces, Austen,"

100%.

[Mia Sable's "It's Easy"]

- ♪ Ba-ba-doo ♪

♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- What do you think? - I love the gas lamp.

- Very Charleston. Come on in.

♪ ♪

[car horn honks]

♪ ♪

- We're gonna start shooting product next week.

- I'm super excited. - I know.

[phone chiming]

[chiming halts]

- Ew.

[sniffs] Eh, ----ing gross.

- Do I need to iron this?

How do I get the wrinkles out? Ah!

- We do need to place a huge order.

- We're placing that order today.

I'm gonna call my parents real quick,

but then we'll go through orders.

- And our budget. - Yeah.

[line trilling]

- Hey. - [speaking French]

- How's Nice?

- And where's Dad?

- Uh... - [laughs]

- [speaking French] [laughing]

- It's so busy. So much traffic to the site.

both: Oh!

- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah, pretty much. List of people.

[speaking French]

The hard part's the food, and Nico's doing that.

- I've always known that no matter what

I was gonna have to work for the family business.

[speaking French]

- Oui, oui, oui, oui.

- Balancing L'Abeye and helping my parents

with the restaurant definitely gets hard at times.

I mean, some days I don't shower.

Yeah.

- Yes.

- Okay.

- I will.

- Love you. Mwuah.

[bright music]

♪ ♪

- Come on, come on. Where's Mommy?

Oh, get it, get it.

- Dad? - Yeah, baby.

Hey! Come here!

- Uh-uh, don't bring that thing--

- Come back and get in here. - Oh, my God.

- [laughs] - Tyson.

Hey. - I got him a gift.

- You must have been a good boy at your grandpa's house.

- Yeah, he was a good boy. I'm--I'm spoiling him.

- Come this way. - [chuckles]

- Um, you want some alcohol to take?

- Yes.

- There's plenty of that leftover.

- Yep. [dog whines]

So who showed up? - Everyone.

But, um, the only thing missing was Nick.

- Are you okay with only seeing him every few months?

- It's, you know, it's...

- There's no future there, right?

[dramatic sting]

- I mean, he has a three-year contract he just signed,

but we're kind of looking at after this--the three years.

- Mm-hmm. So what does that mean

for the relationship? Is he gonna be like--

- I mean, so our thought is that

we get through this three years,

and travel and see each other when we can.

And then after the three years,

he's gonna move here.

- He's always gonna be racing, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- Why do you always find, like,

baseball players that are never home,

musicians that are never home?

Is there like a special reason-- - I don't know, like--

- Is there like a subconscious thing?

- It's weird to me, like,

I guess it always is long distance.

There's something about being able to be alone

when I want to be alone,

and seeing someone when I feel like seeing someone.

That just feels comfortable to me.

- As long as you're happy, you know,

I think, uh, you could do a lot worse.

- [laughs] Me too.

- I mean, he's a good dude.

- And he's, like, he can fix sh--.

- He's a man. He's not, like, you know,

a house cat.

- Yeah, I'm the house cat.

- I think Austen's a house cat.

- [laughs]

- [chuckles]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- How is the love of my life?

- I'm good.

I just showed Kristin and Jason a house.

- So I will be home, uh, shortly.

- Mom is at the house with Palmer.

- All right, bye.

[exhales]

[light music]

♪ ♪

- That doesn't look like water to me.

- Well, I'm giving you water,

and I'm making myself a vodka drink.

- Well, since you're making you a vodka drink,

I wouldn't mind if I had a vodka drink.

- No, you can't drink 'cause you're taking care of my child.

- [groans] - Sorry.

So, how was she?

- Honey, that child is... perfect.

She never does anything that

causes any kind of problems at all.

Now, Cam, is this something you do every day

when you come home from work?

- Well, I'm not working every day,

but, yes, when I do, I--yes, I have a drink.

- Been a stressful day, huh?

- No, work does not stress me out.

If anything, work is like a reprieve.

I'm not stressed when I'm at work.

- Well, honey, what do you need a reprieve from?

[dramatic sting]

- From being at home with a baby all day,

which is very... mind-numbing.

Obviously I know how blessed I am,

and I think that God gave me what He knew I could handle.

- [snickers] - Because...

- In all His wisdom.

- If she I'd probably have jumped off that dock already.

It is just incredibly isolating.

When Jason's on call, there's days when I literally

don't talk to an adult. I feel like--

- But you know you can call me. - I know. I know.

It's--like, I feel guilty and awful complaining about it,

because the fact that I have the ability to

be home with her is a blessing.

But I am limited because... - Mm-hmm.

- I don't have a nanny.

How did you do it, Mom?

Cayce and I were only, like, a year and three months apart.

So, like, did you not go crazy? - No, honey--

- Being at home with us?

- When there was so much to do, you didn't have time

to sit down and dwell on it.

But I wasn't one of these moms that had a hot dinner

sitting on the table every night when your dad--

- Hot--I never have a hot dinner sitting on the table.

- I know.

But we each bring to life our own talents.

The thing is, motherhood can be wonderful,

and it can be terrible, and all in between.

- I know.

And of course I wouldn't give her back.

But at the same time, like,

one thing that I have got to get ahold of

is my control issues.

- You're right. You do.

- I just--God, I can't believe I'm even gonna say this,

'cause it makes me nauseated.

- What, Cam?

[pensive music]

What?

- Like, if something were to ever happen to Palmer,

like... - Cam, darling, honey.

- I know, I know. - Stop right there.

This is what you do.

You will start with something like this,

and you'll run with it like,

"What if something happened to Palmer?

What if something happened to Palmer?"

You can't do that.

Everybody thinks it at some point,

but they need to be fleeting, little thoughts.

You cannot dwell on it.

Get it out of your head as soon as you can.

- It's not healthy. - No, it's not, and--

- I've got to let go.

- You will. You can do it.

- [exhales]

Coming up...

- I'm actually dating someone.

Apparently I have a type.

He's a senator. [laughs]

He's a Democrat though. - What?

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Chels.

What's up? - Is that your new whip?

That's a nice car. - Thank you.

That was my break-up gift to myself.

If a girl stays over,

I can't take her home in the car I had.

- Listen, if you're with the right girl,

they're not gonna give a damn if you're driving

a Mercury or a new Jeep.

- Hey, how's it going? - Hey, good, how are you?

I'm Craig. - I'm Ryan.

- Nice to meet you, Ryan. - Welcome to Brownswood Nursery.

- Hi. Chelsea. - Awesome.

- Hi, Chelsea. - Nice to meet you.

- Thanks for coming. What can we do for you today?

- I, um, bought a house recently

and the landscaping needs a little help.

It's all shaded.

I have big oak trees. - Beautiful.

- And I like the tropical look.

- Well, we--we do have some of that.

- Oh, cool. - I'll show you.

[bright music]

This is camellia world.

Beautiful flowers. Whites, pinks, reds.

- They make a mess when they shed.

- Yes. Every rose has its thorns.

- [soft laugh]

- What do you think about a Japanese maple?

- Those are pretty. - Okay.

And we offer design services. - Oh, well, that's cool.

Oh, I have a ton of those in my yard.

- Agave? - Yeah.

This is bamboo world. - Okay.

- Yeah, that's pretty.

- So, say I wanted on my back fence

like, a bamboo wall?

- Yeah. - What's that one cost?

- I think these are probably like $270...

- Okay. - Something like that.

- This has turned into your shopping trip and not mine.

Well, thank you.

I think we'll look around. - Yeah, let me know.

- Thank you so much. - I'll be around.

- All right, thanks. - Thank you guys.

- Let's walk over here where it's shaded.

- Yeah.

- That bamboo? Did you hear him?

- Yeah. - $270 for a pot?

- I know, and you need, like, ten of them.

- Yeah.

Well, talking about spending money,

have you been to Kathryn's new place?

It's the coolest place I've ever been to in Charleston.

♪ ♪

It's four floors, like, three bedroom.

And that's awesome, but

she also bought a Rolls-Royce, like...

- Damn.

She got a driver? Can I be her driver?

[rousing jazz music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Britney Spears. - Hi.

- How you doing? [soft laugh] - So good.

- I'm just picking. - You make me feel like a troll.

Like, look at you, look at me.

- I came from work, so there's a difference.

- How's work? - It's good.

Um, it's very busy, very fast-paced, because

Gwynn's is transitioning from

just being a boutique in Charleston

to being on all mediums, like--

- More e-commerce and stuff?

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah.

- At Gwynn's, I've kind of transitioned

to a more creative role:

designing and rebranding,

and creating more of an online presence.

Hi. - Hey, welcome to Felix.

Can I get you something to drink besides water?

- Coca-Cola? - Sure.

- I don't speak this language,

but is that, um, French onion soup?

- It is. - How do you say it in--

Souple à l'oign-- - "L'oignon."

- Mademoiselle. - "Soupe à l'oignon."

- I would like that one. - Yeah.

- Can we get a plate of fries, actually?

- Absolutely. both: Thank you.

- Are you coming to the Nico lunch?

- I--I don't know. I don't know if I can go,

because...

I'm actually dating someone.

[soft playful music]

And this coming weekend,

he's flying me to Boca, 'cause that's where he lives.

- What?

- But apparently I have a type.

He's a senator. [laughs]

He's a Democrat though.

- What? - [laughing]

- Wait, how old is he?

- He's only 38. - Oh. [blows raspberry]

- So he's, like, way younger. - Okay.

When you said "I have a type," I thought you meant, like,

older-- - Old.

- Over 50. - No, no.

- How'd you meet him?

- I went down, like, a month or so ago,

for a Dolphins game, and he was there.

And we talked, we hung out.

- Wait, I want to see a picture of him.

- That's him.

- Oh!

He's cute. - Yeah.

His name's Joseph, but I call him Joe.

I really like him a lot. - That's really cute.

- Kathryn's dating someone new.

[dramatic music]

- Does it seem like a good thing?

- Well.

He's a disgraced politician in Florida...

[camera shutters clicks]

♪ ♪

Who's not running for reelection

because of this, like divorce. - Please, stop.

- His wife is accusing him of being physically abusive.

- How do you know all this?

- I was just being nosy one day, Googled the guy.

- Oh, God.

- He's kind.

He's got a 3 1/2-year-old son.

And he wears sunless tanner like me.

- [snorts] Aw, Kathryn, that's so cute.

- Not only that, he told me that

he has a psycho ex.

- Okay. - She has a mug shot.

- Okay, so-- - Just like Thomas.

- Really? - I'm divulging way too much.

- Was she-- - But it's all Google-able.

- Okay, but-- - 'Cause he was a senator

when all that happened.

- Mm-hmm.

I want to be happy for Kathryn,

but this kind of sounds like

exactly what Thomas would say to a new girlfriend

about Kathryn.

Like, that's a red flag

waving this big in front of Kathryn's face.

♪ ♪

- So everything that we know

about Kathryn and Thomas' relationship,

is everything that this guy's ex-wife

is saying about him.

- I would just hate more than anything

for her to fall back... - I know.

- Into something like that after she's come so far.

- I know.

If we're aware-- - But at the end of the day,

it's gonna be her life lesson.

- But she already had her life lesson.

♪ ♪

- Anyways, this is like the first person I've dated

since Thomas that I feel a connection with.

But, like, if Thomas finds out, which he has not yet...

- Oh, he doesn't know?

- He's gonna flip his sh--,

especially with all this stuff going on

since Thomas' arrest.

Anyways.

- How are you doing with that?

- Honestly, it's surreal, and it's really insane.

The craziest thing is that

I could have, like, legit sole custody of my kids

in a month.

With everything going on, I'm stressed,

and I just want to get out and do something fun.

- Yeah.

- And I think I'm gonna plan a girls' trip.

- I really would love that.

That's a really good idea. - It is.

So you know those treehouses?

I've seen, like, the Instagram,

and honestly, like, they're ----ing beautiful.

There's, like, 60 acres. - Oh, yeah.

- Dude, I need that. - Yeah.

- It's a hard knock life for a girl boss.

- Girl boss. - That's kind of us, I think.

Right?

- Coming up...

- Mom.

- I'm looking at... puppies.

[playful music]

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Hey there.

- Can you make me something tasty?

Like, I--I kind of like flavored stuff.

- Okay, you want caramel, vanilla?

- Ooh. - Both?

- Caramel. - Just caramel.

- And vanilla.

- Okay.

- [softly] Yes.

[clacks keyboard]

Oh... [soft chuckle]

These things are so cool.

Hey... - Here you are, sir.

- Caramel vanilla.

- Enjoy. - Thank you.

- Yeah. - Thank you very much.

[light music]

Mmm.

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hey. - Mom.

- Hey. What's going on?

- Well, you might not like it.

- Well, I'm looking at puppies.

♪ ♪

- I'm not gonna pass it off to you.

Trust me, okay?

- I know. I know.

And I know this sounds selfish,

but I really think it'll help me be more sedate.

Like, I'll be like, "I gotta go home.

I have something that's waiting for me."

- I really think it'd be good for me.

I really do. And hopefully for the dog.

[chuckles]

By the way, I think I'm gonna name the dog "Craig."

- That way it'll be easy to discipline.

- I'm not--[laughs]

All right, Mom. Bye.

- Good to see you. - How is it?

This place is cool. - Hey, how's it going?

Anything sound good? Cold brew? Latte?

- Uh, a double... rosé in a pint glass

with some ice, please. - [chuckles]

Double rosé? - Double rosé.

- You know what? I'm gonna join Craig.

- Two of those?

- If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, you know what I mean?

- Can't fight 'em, invite 'em, right?

- [chuckles] That's right.

What'd you do last night?

- Uh, took pictures of pillows.

I made 20 pillows and didn't do anything with them.

And I was just like, you know what?

Why don't you just ----ing, like, do something, Craig?

Like, sell 'em and-- thank you so much.

- Oh. - You got it.

Cheers, guys. - Yeah, thank you.

- Yep. - Cheers.

That was-- that's what I did,

and I watched TV and...

- God, well, I wish I did that.

[clears throat] I'm serious.

I was out with Whitney, and Austen for a second there.

- Well, what do you mean "for a second"?

- Madison found him and tugged him out of our clutches.

- Yeah, he did that the other night too.

- I think that relationship is doomed.

Look, Austen cheated.

I'm not saying he was right,

but that doesn't give you free reign

to go around town, sleeping around.

- He kind of thinks this is just like a phase

and "she's gonna stop stepping out on me."

But it's not stopping. - What happened?

Did--is there new information I don't know about?

- Yeah, like, it's still going on.

Madison had her friend DM Gentry,

not knowing it was Danni's boyfriend.

- She DM'd Danni's new boyfriend?

- Yeah. It was like, "Hey, this is my friend.

She thinks you're hot."

Like, "Would you be interested in, like, meeting up?"

Gentry was like-- - So, wait.

How did you find out all this? - Danni told me.

- Poor Austen. Oh.

- Once you cheat on someone, like, the trust is gone.

It doesn't come back. You can't get it back.

Sorry, folks, it's gone.

It's the most unhealthy relationship I've been around

in a really long time, and that's saying a lot.

I think it'd be selfish of us

not to say something at this point,

just because-- - To Austen?

- Yeah. Dude, you've been screaming about it for months.

And now it's like, dude-- - I know.

- We gotta sit down Austen and just be like...

- "Brother, you are getting cuckolded."

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Hm.

[sizzling]

[knocking on door]

- Hello?

- Hello? - Hey.

- Boo-boo! - Hey!

- Oh, you look so cute.

- Oh! [pleased squeal] - So cute.

- [giggles]

Oh, my gosh, what are you doing? - [kisses]

I'm cooking. And you know what?

I'm almost done.

- I was looking forward to this. - I was too.

- Cheers, babe. - Cheers.

[glasses clink]

Like, what kind of day was yours?

- I had to go to work.

- You just gave Patricia a blowout?

- Mm-hmm.

- Which--the fact that I even know what that is...

- You're learning.

- I've dated enough hairdressers.

[laughs]

- I think you're done after this one.

- You think so?

- I mean, you should be.

[playful dramatic music]

- I'ma date, like, a coroner next.

- Yeah, I think I'm gonna date, like a millionaire or something.

- So me, is-- is what you're saying?

In like... - Hey, I love the confidence.

- In like--[sighs] a couple years,

you'll be dating a millionaire.

- Let's shake on that.

- Am I making, like, a deal with the devil?

Are--are you staying?

What time you gotta be in tomorrow?

- We'll see how dinner goes.

♪ ♪

I'm just kidding. Yeah, I did.

[wink chimes]

- Yeah, you did. - [laughs]

Oh, my God.

- Good.

Well, let us convene to the sitting room.

- Perfect.

- Look at us. - So cute.

- I'm glad you came over here tonight, babe

- Thanks for doing this, babe.

- If I could reach across, I'd kiss you.

- [kisses]

- You know, the M-word, "marriage,"

has never really, like, seeped into my brain before

with anybody until Madison.

She's an adult who has her goals prioritized.

And it makes me see

what I need to start prioritizing

as I move forward in my life.

- Babe, you want this?

- It's tough.

Get it. - [sighs]

Okay, never mind, that just took the wind out of my sails.

- Wha--I mean... - All right.

- The pork chop was good enough, I'll do it.

- Hey, I--it was good.

Thank you. Mmm.

- Babe. - Come here. Again.

Mwuah.

- Coming up...

A Rolls is like-- it's the epitome of...

- I'm rich as (BLEEP).

[rousing jazz music]

♪ ♪

- Bonjour. [speaking French]

[tone beeps] - Hi, it's me.

Um, just wanted to tell you we're about to head to Nico.

I'll let you know how it went. Okay, love you, bye.

♪ ♪

I'm honestly starving. - I am too.

- I hope this is a good turnout. - I think it will be.

I'm ready for more Champagne.

- It is 11:00 a.m.

I'm scared that if we start drinking at this brunch,

we won't be able to go back to the office.

It looks so good. - Thank you.

- [kisses] How's it going? - Good to see you--

- Oh--[kisses] - [laughs]

- Oh, wow!

- Was printing a brand-new menu today.

We put beef tartare's out, the lobster roll.

- Mmm. - Try 'em out.

- Can't wait.

We opened Nico last year,

and it's been super successful.

Is there something we can put the flower arrangements in?

- Put 'em up on the table.

- But food culture in Charleston is very competitive.

- You wanna do menus?

- There's a ton of amazing restaurants,

so we're currently expanding the menu.

- Hi! - Hi!

- I'll grab y'all some Champagne.

We invited friends, bloggers,

and people prominent in the food scene because

we want to get the word out.

- Hi, Nico. How are you? - Hi.

- Carol. - Thanks for coming in.

- Yeah.

- It's exciting.

- I just hope it stays like this.

- Yeah.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Come on, you know...

- Hey! - Oh, hi.

- Do you want a drink? - Sure.

- Look at Chelsea's jacket.

- You look so cool. - Thank you.

This took two hours to figure out.

- There he is. - Hey, y'all.

- How'd you get away from work?

- I get a lunch break that I never take, so--

[kisses] How are you? - Hi.

♪ ♪

- Dang, girl. - Naomie, your--

- Hey! - Your ass is like--

- What?

Don't say that in front of Nico, that's weird!

- I was like-- Hey, Nico.

- [chuckles] - Hi, love.

- Yes. - Hey.

- Hi. Thank you for coming.

- Yes, of course. This is so cute.

- Kathryn's not coming?

- She's on a date.

I mean, I guess flying to New York with her guy.

- I thought he was from Florida. - I don't even know about this.

Is he young, old? - He's 38.

So, yeah, he's young. - That's good.

- He has, apparently, a crazy ex-wife.

- I mean, they're not technically divorced yet.

But... - Wait, they're not divorced?

- It was--it's been, like, a 3 1/2 year separation.

- Has he been to prison?

- No.

- Craig got me all worried about this.

- About what?

- Craig was saying that Kathryn's man

is, like, another politician.

- I mean, he's a senator. - He's a "senatah."

- And has been abusive to his ex-wife.

- What?

Well, surely she would be smart enough

not to get involved with somebody that...

- Trust me, I would not let her get involved

with someone like that.

I think this is gonna be the determining weekend.

- Is he loaded?

- I don't know. I didn't--I don't ask that.

- She don't need anybody that's loaded.

She damn got her a Rolls-Royce.

- What? - Yeah.

- What? - You're lying.

- And she didn't like the color. - Wait, what?

- So they're repainting it. - Repainting what?

- A Rolls is like-- it's the epitome of...

- I'm rich as (BLEEP).

- Kathryn is spending $6,600 a month on rent.

She's now getting a Rolls-Royce.

I don't know if she's a mother of two

or a rapper.

[laughs]

Let's go inside, cool off.

So how's our handsome little Nicky?

What's the latest update?

- Last I heard from him,

he was passing through Sardinia.

- What do you mean, last you heard from him?

- It's been six days.

- Oh, my God.

I could not imagine not talking to my boyfriend for a week.

- Well, he just signed a three-year contract

with the America's Cup, so this isn't gonna be forever.

- Three years? That's a long time.

- But it's kind of nice because, you know,

we get to email each other sometimes.

[rousing jazz music]

- Hi, Metul! - Hi!

- Hi, Metul. - What's up?

- Aww. Aww. - How are you?

- Nico. - Yes?

- Look who's here. - Hey!

You made it. - I did.

- I'm impressed.

- I just woke up like two hours ago.

- Two hours ago? - I was on-call last night.

- He made it. - I know.

- Honestly, it's good for me I think.

I'm independent enough that I don't need

someone around me all the time.

- I mean, you don't think that you're, like,

subconsciously drawn to this relationship because

there's no pressure?

- I don't know.

I don't know. Maybe.

- There--oh, my God!

- Metul! - He lives.

Look how cute-- - How are you?

- Look at--oh, my God. - Okay.

All right, all right. - Oh, my God.

Hands to yourself, wristband! - How are you?

- Been so long! - I haven't seen you in so long.

- I'm, like, turning red. I feel so hot.

- You stepped in at a great moment.

- I'ma sit up here. - Oh.

- Cameran, you don't get out much.

- I really don't.

- You got her flustered, Metul.

- Sorry, Jason.

This is probably the finest man I've ever seen in real life.

- Thank you for coming.

- He is tall, dark, and handsome.

- Bye.

- And exotic.

We don't have too many of them in Charleston.

[upbeat jazzy music]

- Y'all, help yourselves to some food.

- Gorgeous! What a beautiful spread.

- I know, it looks amazing.

- I'm making a plate.

- [soft laugh] Of course Wilson goes straight for the caviar.

- Yeah. - Mmm.

[camera shutters clicks]

- Is this, like, for decoration or do you eat it?

- How do you eat this?

- Oh, here. Here, this is what you do.

I think you stick this in there like that.

- [gasps]

♪ ♪

Tastes like a snail.

- Y'all need to eat. It's so good.

Yeah, help yourselves. I'll be right back.

- So what's this girls' trip

we're supposed to be going on with Kat?

- I booked a girls' trip at the treehouses.

- I'm talking yoga. I'm talking hiking.

- I'll keep you updated on, like, details I suppose.

- I'm excited about it.

I've been wanting to go to this place.

They're treehouses, like, high-end treehouses.

- Wait, a tree house?

- Well, it's not-- - Kind of like a--

- It's like... - Imagine a mansion in a tree.

- In a tree?

- It's an elevated house built around a tree.

- I don't understand.

Is there a bathroom and all that?

- Oh, yeah, girl. - Is it climate controlled?

- Girl, it is a house. - In the woods.

- You'll be fine.

- So, anyway, while we were shopping for

Japanese maples, Craig said, he found out

that Madison has been contacting some guy...

- [soft laugh] - Through Instagram...

- Wait. - Behind Austen's back.

I'm like-- - Does he know who it is?

- Yeah. Supposedly it's a good friend of ours

but he wouldn't tell me who it was.

- I know who it is.

- You know who it is? - Yes, it was Gentry.

My Gentry.

- Oh! - But wait.

Madison did reach out to him?

- No, Madison thought he was cute.

And she had a friend reach out to Gentry.

- She told the friend to reach out on her behalf?

- It was just made out that Madison finds

other men attractive and messages them on Instagram.

- Who told Craig? - Some girl.

- I told Craig.

- I don't think that anybody at this table thinks that

Madison and Austen are serious business.

I mean, come on.

- I mean, let's be honest, he cheated on her this summer.

Like, it's on tape.

- This is ----ing bullsh--. - Madison. Madison.

You are an insane person.

- Why take the time to stay with somebody

that you just--

- Hello, I know.

- I'm like, "Why would you waste your time?"

[both laugh]

- Coming up...

- This gives us no joy, but...

- Obviously have to portray this information to you.

- This isn't like a "Deep Throat Watergate" situation.

- Sorry, what? - Um...

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Hi. - Hey.

- I just take a seat over here? - Sure.

♪ ♪

- Hey. Have a seat.

- You love saying that. - Good to see you.

What's going on? - "Take--"

I always feel like I'm going to the principal's office with you.

- With me? - Well, no, you're like,

"Have a seat, buddy." You know, "Come on."

- [chuckles] Craig, I think we both belong

in the principal's office. - I'm just kidding.

- Let's be honest.

- How are you guys? both: How are you?

- Can do a botanical mule except just with regular Ketel?

- I'll have a Bud. Can I order, Craig?

- Were we gonna wait for Austen?

- You can-- - Yeah, we'll wait.

- All right.

- But we'll get something to start.

- Can we get some boiled peanuts?

- Boiled peanuts. - Cast-iron cornbread.

- All right. I'll be right back, you guys.

- I feel like we're

entering into an intervention or something.

- I mean, it--well, I guess that's what it'll become.

[dramatic music]

- Right at your elbow with your mule.

- Thank you.

Is this our first intervention that we're on this side?

- Yeah, look, yeah.

Don't--I'm not cheers-- this isn't--

You're reveling in this. - I'm not.

I'm just laughing 'cause I know how nervous you are.

- I just don't like any disturbances in the force.

You know what I mean, like... - Well, I mean, we didn't do it.

We didn't make her ----ing try and bang Danni's boyfriend.

You know, like...

- That's the crux of what we're doing here.

- Yeah. I don't know how he's gonna react.

- Well, here's what we say, Craig.

We gotta get him sort of relaxed first.

And then we'll be like, "What's going on in your world?"

And then--

and then we're like, "Well, this is what I know."

"I'm doing this because I'm your friend."

- All right, excuse me.

- Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Super hot skillet.

- Look at that ♪ cornbread. ♪

- Ah, this is perfect. Thank you.

- All right, thank you.

- All right, this is not gonna be as hard as we think.

[burps]

Oh, man.

[soft suspenseful music]

So I'm gonna pass the conversation ball

to you at--at a certain point.

- Lads! - Yeah, when it comes time.

- Hey. - What up, dude?

- How goes it? - Good to see you.

- [coughs] I just coughed in my hand.

- What's up, buddy? - What up?

- Is this cornbread and...

- Yes, it is cornbread. - Oh, man.

- Thirsty? - Yeah, I am thirsty.

I've had a full day already.

- What'd you do?

- I woke up at 4:00 and I couldn't go back to sleep.

Just, you know, anxiety-ridden.

♪ ♪

- Over what? - I don't know, I was like--

just--just life, I guess.

What am I not anxiety-ridden about these days?

It's like... - Here we are.

You've already got a plate. - Oh, thank you.

- Water for you. An extra plate and silverware.

- Yeah, and then I'm gonna do the Commonhouse Park Circle.

- I'll have a Narragansett.

- The Gansett? - Yeah, please.

- I'm just gonna do the... - Supposed to be very popular.

- The smokehouse sliders.

- Can I have the cucumber and tomatoes?

- Tomato cucumber salad?

- I'ma get the pulled pork. - Pulled pork.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

- Uh.

So... hold on, I'm trying to--

I don't know why I'm so ----ing spacey right now.

- I don't either.

- All right, right at your corners, guys.

- Aren't these the cutest little Mason jars?

Okay, well, how we doing?

- Craig, tell Austen

the information that you have, please.

- Well.

So.

- What?

- Well, unfortunately, like,

we came across some sh-- that we were like...

- We're telling you because we love you.

- Obviously just as friends. We're not being judg--like--

- This gives us no joy, but...

- Obviously have to portray this information to you.

- This isn't like a "Deep Throat Watergate" situation.

- Sorry, what? - I mean,

this is just something that someone heard.

- You can do what you want with it, but--

- What? - Nothing happened.

But it's like things are happening again.

- That--that makes no sense.

- Um, Danni's got a new boyfriend named Gentry.

Madison had her friend DM, uh, Gentry

with, like, a picture of her,

and was like, "Hey, do you think my friend's hot?"

- What? - Like, "She thinks you're hot."

Like, "Do you want to hook up?"

- This is a ----ing witch hunt.

- It's not a witch hunt. Don't do the fake news sh--.

- It is fake news sh--. - No, it's not, Austen.

- All right, excuse me, guys.

Pulled pork sliders and collards.

Tomato cucumber salad.

♪ ♪

- So, Craig, this information is coming from...

- Danni.

- You know it's real?

- Gentry, like, read it to Danni.

He's like, "Do you know a girl named Madison?"

- I don't want to be blind, but I don't believe that.

I just don't...

- Just call Danni. Just ask her.

Because we might as well ----ing ask her.

Right? - Right now?

- Yeah, why not?

Here, I'll call her.

[line trilling]

- I'm sweating in here.

- Hey, Danni. - Hey, what up?

- I'm sitting with, uh, Shep and Austen.

And we have a question about Madison.

- Danni, just tell Austen what happened

so he ----ing knows and it's not coming from me.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- All right, can I get four more beers?

- Nothing. And we'll talk to you later.

Bye, Danni.

- I've suddenly lost my appetite.

- It would have been selfish for us not to ----ing say anything

We don't want to, but... - I'm sorry.

You need a shot. - Yeah.

- Uh, shot-- three shots of Jamesons.

For me, that's nail in the coffin.

It's gotta be.

- You can either keep banging your head against the wall,

hoping things will change or you just accept reality.

- I mean, do you even have a conversation?

Or do I just say like, "Hey,

let's keep on doing what we're doing"?

- No, you gotta talk to her, but--

but you can do that on the phone.

- I hate confrontation. - I hate it too.

- [groans] - I hate it too.

But you don't have to do it in person.

- Not today. - Someday.

Yeah.

- Today is Tuesday.

Okay. [sighs]

♪ ♪

Sh--.

- Coming up...

- Madison, Madison, you're deflecting.

That is what I know to be a fact.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- All right, should we get the tab?

- Yeah, that's pretty obvious.

- We'll go get a drink somewhere else and...

All right. - See you guys.

Thanks for having us.

- So what are we gonna do now?

- Okay. Here's what we're doing.

It's this bar. We're going in there.

I'm taking shots. I love The Brick.

I'm gonna do a missile.

You wanna put a shot into the Red Bull,

and you shotgun it.

I kind of need you to take this journey with me.

- Wait, why am I doing this?

- 'Cause Austen's about to break up with his girlfriend, so.

- Three, two, one, get some.

- Nice.

- [groans]

- This is a celebration.

You're back, baby.

- I'm shaking in my knees,

because Austen's gonna be single.

[phone ringing]

- Uh-ohh.

- Just answer it. Just tell her the truth.

[phone thuds] - What just happened?

- I'm not gonna respond to Madison.

I'm drunk. I'm emotional.

- We just don't get what is, like, anchoring you

to this, like, sh---y relationship.

Austen, has she slept with anyone

since you guys started dating that wasn't you?

- Yes.

[dramatic music]

- I don't think that video was the first

transgression in your guys' relationship.

I think you've cheated because

she was sleeping with other people first.

Am I wrong?

- Yes.

[sighs]

- I didn't think it would have been you

that would have been first.

♪ ♪

- Yeah, you ----ed up.

But yeah, she ----ed up right back.

Now she's ----ed up again... - Yes.

- And, like, how much more can we go through?

- Should I just be single always?

- Be more discerning.

There's this wonderful girl out there for you, man,

and there's like zero baggage--

- I'm sure there is, but, like, where?

- You didn't really think you were gonna get married, did you?

- It's tough to say. I mean, Shep--Shep--

Shep, stop, stop.

- I would have jumped off a bridge.

I'm not a pushover.

I don't want to be fed a bunch of bullsh--.

- Sorry, what did you just say to me,

when you said, "You need to..."

- Stand up for yourself.

- Because what? - Be nice. Be respectful.

- Because I've been a what? A pushover.

- No. Well, yeah.

- You called me a pushover. - Sometimes.

- You did just admit she had sex with other people.

- This is ripping the Band-Aid off.

Do you want this to fester? - No, I don't.

- Do you want it to fester? Then do it right now.

- Dude, just call her.

- All right, you're right. Fine, (BLEEP) it.

I'm gonna do it. - You gonna do it?

- You got to.

- Call her. - Yeah.

- Do it! Yeah!

- This conversation's gonna ----ing suck though.

- Why did he care about her that so much?

I've never cared about anybody like that.

[line trilling]

- Hey. - Hey.

- I don't know. I--I just got

you know, pulled aside by, you know, Shep and Craig tonight

about things.

- What I've heard is that

a friend of yours reached out to this guy named Gentry

and said, "Oh, my friend Madison thinks that you're hot

and do you want to hang out?"

- Yes.

- That is what I know to be a fact.

- Madison, Madison, you're deflecting.

- Nothing that's actually happened

but what you're telling me is that that's true.

[soft dramatic music]

- Madison, that's all that I needed to know.

Congrats for hitting on Danni's boyfriend.

♪ ♪

Oh.

[indistinct chatter]

- What does that mean?

- Hey. That was a total admission.

Total admission. - Holy sh--.

- [sighs]

- Yeah, I'm sorry, man. That actually sucks, dude.

- Don't worry about it. It's okay.

You all right? Do--uh, you want a shot?

Come on, take a shot.

- I'm glad we have each other is what I'm cheersing to.

'Cause at the end of the day... - You're with us.

- We have each other. - Hey, it's over.

It's over-- - Okay, stop, stop.

Stop, stop, both of you.

I just had a ----ing conversation

with a person that I thought that really mattered in my life,

okay?

So, please,

have a little bit of ----ing compassion for--

- Just so you know,

I would've hoped I was wrong.

- What?

You were gonna be furious if you weren't right.

- It's not about you and I. Shep, it's not about you and I.

It's not about-- - "You and me."

- You and me. - Yeah.

both: "Me and you." - [chuckles]

I'm really sorry, man. I love you.

But this is right.

♪ ♪

- On the next episode of "Southern Charm"...

- I'm trying to pack for this trip

and I don't know what to bring.

- Oh, no.

- To me, you get what you give.

- Go ahead?

- If you want someone that doesn't cheat on you,

then be a good man and don't cheat.

- Was this whole thing blown out of proportion?

- Your girlfriend had her friend message a guy

because she knows how to do this without getting caught.

- How are you feeling after what happened?

- Cheating death is the weirdest feeling.

Like, if I died today, I want to have

good relationships with everyone.

- All right, bitches, you ready to ride?

[upbeat music]

Oh, my gosh!

It looks like something out of, like, a fairy tale.

- Oh, my God. - Ugh.

- I hate that sh--.

- Kathryn, why were you MIA this week?

[dramatic music pounds]

- Lord have mercy.

- For more "Southern Charm," go to bravotv.com.