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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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URBAN GUARD - POLICE
GETTING PAID WITHOUT WORKING
2
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ONE IS A BUM
WHOM WE SUPPORT WITH OUR TAXES
3
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How's it looking?
4
00:00:21,791 --> 00:00:24,250
There are a few good memes.
5
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- Don't hit like on any though.
- No, no.
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This shoot will turn things around.
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Look meaner! There you go.
8
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Now look nicer. That's it.
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More confident. Come on.
10
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Can... Can you guys
try to show more confidence?
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Not that much, Feli.
12
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Now, a little sweetness, huh?
Try to look a little sweeter.
13
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Uh, Joni, show me some sweetness.
14
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More, huh? More.
15
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Mm.
16
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Impossible to get any sweeter than that.
17
00:00:49,041 --> 00:00:51,125
Can you rotate the girl, please?
18
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:55,208
That's great right there.
You look perfect, Sofi.
19
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- Perfect face, right?
- Ah, Feli, that's it, that's it.
20
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- A blank stare. I love that!
- Can you take mine now?
21
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The minister asked us to really
highlight the whole minorities thing.
22
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What do you think?
23
00:01:07,041 --> 00:01:08,583
Edgardo, look that way.
24
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:13,208
- Relax, everyone. Here, over here.
- How about we lose the curls here?
25
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That's good. Yeah, it's gonna look great.
26
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THIS CHARADE IS PAID BY OUR TAXES
URBAN GUARD
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COMMUNITY SQUAD
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Wow, this is a big apartment
for just one person.
29
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Well, it was supposed to be for two, but...
30
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House warming gift!
Take it, your sister made it.
31
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What is it?
32
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- Try it. It's a stool. Go ahead.
- Oh.
33
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Try it, try it.
34
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It's really, really good!
35
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Spectacular!
36
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Don't you think that if you moved this,
it'd make the room more comfortable?
37
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But I don't have the time right now.
38
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,083
But you're quitting, aren't you?
39
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It's not dangerous, Mom.
40
00:02:03,708 --> 00:02:05,333
Your shirt has a bloodstain, son.
41
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Right, I'm...
I'm having trouble getting it out.
42
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,934
I was going to ask you about that,
but my phone's not working.
43
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- Fine, take it off, I'll wash it for you.
- I'm sorry, I can't right now.
44
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,059
- Why? We have to go? We just got here.
- I gotta work.
45
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,750
- Thanks for the food.
- Put baking soda and soap on it.
46
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,375
You can also use bleach
and it'll get all the stains out.
47
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,458
- Right.
- If you need anything, please call me.
48
00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:25,708
Yeah. The thing is
my phone's not working, Mom.
49
00:02:26,291 --> 00:02:28,416
- Listen Feli, about your cell phone.
- Yeah.
50
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:30,333
I had to cancel the corporate phone line.
51
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,958
I wanted to ask
if you could give me back the phone too.
52
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We're having a few issues
with payments, okay?
53
00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:37,500
- Okay.
- Don't tell your mom, or she'll...
54
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:38,583
- What?
- Thanks.
55
00:02:38,666 --> 00:02:39,666
Love you.
56
00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:44,875
- You have my chip.
- I'll give it to you later, son.
57
00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:49,666
- Is it so hard for you to take him back?
- He's an urban guard, Adriana.
58
00:02:49,750 --> 00:02:52,708
It's just bad luck, it's an easy job.
He helps the elderly.
59
00:02:52,791 --> 00:02:57,500
Isn't his apartment a bit weird?
I don't know, I don't think he's alright.
60
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:00,250
- Who is it?
- Pest control.
61
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Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.
62
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URBAN GUARD
63
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No, no, of course, I wouldn't
do anything without checking in.
64
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Hey, I've got a customer.
Can I call you back in a minute?
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Thanks.
66
00:03:13,125 --> 00:03:14,166
Fuck!
67
00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:17,000
- Everything good?
- Yeah, not now.
68
00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:26,333
Yeah, the drain is right here.
69
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:30,458
I saw a little one walking
on the countertop the other day.
70
00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:33,375
And my girlfriend really hates them.
My ex, I guess.
71
00:03:33,458 --> 00:03:35,618
I don't know, it's confusing
when they ask for a break.
72
00:03:37,958 --> 00:03:39,166
You gonna get that?
73
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I'm about to start the fumigation.
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Listen to me, Doguito, uh,
when I told you to take care of it,
75
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I meant do a little research on him.
Only that.
76
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:55,750
Because I'm seeing him everywhere,
his face is all over the city.
77
00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:57,875
And the Queen has issued
an order, you know?
78
00:03:58,375 --> 00:03:59,541
Although, I uh-
79
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:03,041
I gotta ask about it just so I know
that we're not fucking up anything.
80
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:04,125
I'd fumigate,
81
00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:06,958
- things would get messy.
- No, no, fumigate now, I'm here.
82
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Okay, whatever you say.
83
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,333
So?
84
00:04:16,958 --> 00:04:18,750
Thank you. You're the best, huh?
85
00:04:19,250 --> 00:04:21,500
I'm gonna get some things,
I'm late for my therapist.
86
00:04:35,791 --> 00:04:37,750
Oh, you're doing everything,
and the living room?
87
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:39,708
No, be careful with the TV. Careful.
88
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That's it, I'm done.
89
00:04:41,541 --> 00:04:42,625
And the bathroom?
90
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:44,125
Ah.
91
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:48,583
I mean my God.
92
00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,208
Yeah, I've told you 'bout my sister.
93
00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,333
She creates a foam stool
and she's a genius.
94
00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:57,083
I worked there 15 years,
gone only two days, they take my phone.
95
00:04:58,250 --> 00:04:59,250
Exactly.
96
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Speaking of which...
97
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I feel bad, but...
98
00:05:04,958 --> 00:05:06,916
I wanted to borrow it since you don't...
99
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,291
I'll give it back to you
after my first paycheck, okay?
100
00:05:12,458 --> 00:05:13,458
Diego?
101
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:17,375
Thanks.
102
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:24,625
Well, just relax now. Yeah?
103
00:05:25,541 --> 00:05:27,208
The investigation's progressing.
104
00:05:27,291 --> 00:05:28,958
We'll catch them, I promise.
105
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:33,541
So they said it's a cold case now.
106
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:36,125
Oh, how quickly they forget
about martyrs, huh?
107
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:37,833
- Wait a sec.
- Get in there.
108
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:41,833
- Hey there. Any update on Diego?
- Yeah, got a few leads to look over.
109
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,291
You can count on me for anything you need.
110
00:05:44,375 --> 00:05:46,875
I have some of his belongings,
so if there's anything...
111
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- Would you look at that, huh?
- Yeah.
112
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When we get to that part of investigation,
we'll give you a call.
113
00:05:51,583 --> 00:05:54,375
Feli, we're heading out to the park.
114
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- Let's go.
- Looks like you got an outdoor play date.
115
00:05:57,416 --> 00:05:59,125
Hey, don't forget sunblock.
116
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- Yeah.
- Let's go, kids! Go, go! Come on.
117
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:04,177
- There's no time to lose!
- Now they know we're staying on top of it.
118
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:12,041
Today, we have
a tailor-made opportunity.
119
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A green weekend!
120
00:06:13,833 --> 00:06:16,333
We're here to ensure
that it goes smoothly.
121
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They asked for us.
122
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:19,666
They're tired of the police.
123
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They want to show a friendlier image.
124
00:06:22,541 --> 00:06:24,250
That's why they called us.
125
00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:27,293
And because, well, the Parks and Rec guys
are on strike due to budget cuts,
126
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:30,333
or what they call "trimming"...
but that's not important.
127
00:06:30,416 --> 00:06:34,541
No, the important thing is
that we cannot afford to miss this chance.
128
00:06:34,625 --> 00:06:36,666
We have to gain their respect.
129
00:06:36,750 --> 00:06:38,750
- Shitheads.
- Am I really that fat?
130
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:44,833
It's just a nice back-and-forth dialogue
with the community.
131
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Okay? Don't let it get to you.
132
00:06:46,416 --> 00:06:48,267
- What happened?
- I'll tell you about it later.
133
00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:51,708
We're Palermo Division! Let's get out
and show them how capable we are.
134
00:06:51,791 --> 00:06:53,125
Why'd they shrink me down?
135
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:55,041
Go, go.
136
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,166
They shrank me.
137
00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:59,625
No, it's just a visual effect.
138
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:01,958
Hey, we're holding a drawing.
139
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:03,201
You can win a sustainable kit
140
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,666
- that includes compost-based toothpaste...
- No, thank you.
141
00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:07,541
- Fucking asshole.
- Wow.
142
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:12,250
We're making a great impression.
143
00:07:12,750 --> 00:07:15,375
It'd be nice to catch the prick
that's doing this joke on us, huh?
144
00:07:15,458 --> 00:07:17,958
That's just publicity.
Some will like you and others don't.
145
00:07:18,041 --> 00:07:20,641
- Try not to get upset.
- You look good in that cap, traitor, huh?
146
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,791
Shut up, asshole.
I'm an urban guard, not a snitch!
147
00:07:22,875 --> 00:07:24,958
- Yeah, I know who you are, baby!
- Dumb bitch.
148
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:27,916
I'm sorry, but there's
a bearded guy who often comes by.
149
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,125
He's a strange weirdo.
150
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:31,958
- Is he here now? Did you see the guy?
- He's here every day,
151
00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:33,833
carrying a spray can, walking around.
152
00:07:33,916 --> 00:07:35,541
Okay, describe him for me.
153
00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:39,958
Oh, his eyes are round,
black hair, and a sweatshirt.
154
00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:41,500
He wears a hoodie.
155
00:07:41,583 --> 00:07:42,791
Is this him?
156
00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:44,458
Exactly!
157
00:07:44,541 --> 00:07:45,791
Yeah, that's him.
158
00:07:45,875 --> 00:07:48,333
You know what, you're an absolute angel.
159
00:07:48,416 --> 00:07:50,250
You put in so much effort.
160
00:07:50,333 --> 00:07:53,333
And all alone,
you're all alone, poor little thing.
161
00:07:53,416 --> 00:07:56,250
I'm 39 years old, lady.
Please don't ever, ever, call me "little".
162
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:57,916
Whatever you say, hon.
163
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Hey, you're beautiful.
164
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:02,833
- Hey, man, you can't...
- No, no.
165
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,333
Oh, no, no.
166
00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:08,541
- That's right! 200 meters!
- Don't be ridiculous.
167
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,208
That guy over there sells chorizo!
168
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:13,125
- You're all a bunch of vegan fanatics.
- You shouldn't be here!
169
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:14,458
Is there a problem here?
170
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,208
Meat-head over here selling pork shoulder,
which isn't sustainable.
171
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:20,791
If he wants, he can sell his poison
on another day, but not today.
172
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,476
- This bully's gotta go, he's crazy.
- Shut up, you piece of trash!
173
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,416
- I'm Recycle Man, asshole!
- Murderer.
174
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,083
Excuse me, man.
175
00:08:27,166 --> 00:08:30,000
There are places to do... certain things
and places for other things.
176
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:30,958
True, right.
177
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:34,875
So I'm asking you, please, pretty please,
to go and come back another day.
178
00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,416
You don't have
anything better to do, that it?
179
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,083
This park is packed with drug dealers.
Why don't you take care of that instead?
180
00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:44,226
- Well, that's for the police.
- Yeah? So what's your job then?
181
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,041
- Huh?
- We're watching the mallards.
182
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,458
The mallards?
183
00:08:47,541 --> 00:08:48,625
Okay, right, now I get it.
184
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:51,708
So mallards need Mr. Guard to feed them,
or they'll become wild animals.
185
00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:52,958
He's making fun of you.
186
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:54,666
- You're an animal.
- Oh, dear God.
187
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,500
Do you even have
a license to be here, sir?
188
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,708
If not, I have to ask you to leave.
189
00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:02,291
- That's what I'm talking about.
- That's very good.
190
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,125
- Thanks.
- Good, way to go!
191
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,291
It's clear none of you have actual jobs.
192
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:09,791
- Yes, that's how we do it. Bye!
- That's great, Feli.
193
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:12,041
- Very good.
- Well, it's nothing.
194
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,125
Good job.,
195
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:15,833
What am I supposed to do
with all this now?
196
00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:17,916
Oh, I wanna buy one of those, okay?
197
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
198
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,666
When you're done,
pick up the petals, okay?
199
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,166
Guys, you cool?
200
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,333
Really great photos, huh?
201
00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:33,166
Recyclable, organic!
202
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:35,333
- Okay? Listen to Recycle Man.
- There you go. Here.
203
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:36,541
There you go, good.
204
00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,625
Where do you put that?
205
00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,125
In here! Yeah! Okay!
206
00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:41,088
How about we organize
ourselves a little better?
207
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,750
There's where you
exchange your cash for "sustain-coins".
208
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:48,250
And here, put in your order, grab it there
and then eat it over here. Are we clear?
209
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:51,083
It's nothing. We just need
a little organization, that's all.
210
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,184
- You're killing it man, yeah.
- Just doing my thing.
211
00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:54,848
Think you're ready to learn a nice trick.
212
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:57,000
- This is how you pin someone down.
- It hurts.
213
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,833
Yeah, that's the point. It hurts.
214
00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:01,375
Some say this is more effective than guns.
I prefer a pistol.
215
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:04,208
- I agree.
- Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
216
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:06,166
Is it alright that I stop you both?
217
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,416
- We gotta go to a hostage situation.
- Yeah.
218
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:11,000
I won't bother you then.
It's important what you're doing here.
219
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,000
- We're going.
- Yeah.
220
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,958
- Let me try a little.
- No...
221
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,458
Ah, the paint is still wet!
222
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:22,500
Stop it, why are you so obsessed?
They didn't paint your face, look.
223
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,223
I look like a criminal with a bad goatee.
224
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,583
Why wouldn't I be obsessed?
225
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,291
Because he pities me, he can't bully me.
That's it?
226
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:31,708
Come on, draw something on me, man.
Look at how stupid I look in that!
227
00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:33,551
The one there has no paint.
Maybe he's tired.
228
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,708
There's no way he's tired!
He's just taking his time.
229
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,416
But he doesn't know about
the one thing I'm really good at.
230
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,500
Sitting and waiting.
231
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:43,375
I wanna be done with the drawing
and just go to a poetry jam.
232
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:45,791
I don't give a fuck
about the silly drawing, okay?
233
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:47,315
I'm waiting for this guy to show up.
234
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:51,208
Fine, baby, when you're able to chill,
just text me then, you got it?
235
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,291
- Where are you at?
- Watch out!
236
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:56,583
- Careful! Careful, hey bro!
- Oops!
237
00:10:56,666 --> 00:10:59,666
Look at all that mobility go to waste.
Genius, huh?
238
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,333
Hey!
239
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:18,500
Beautiful.
240
00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:19,583
Shh! Come here.
241
00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:21,125
- What?
- Come here!
242
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:22,541
- What?
- Look.
243
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,291
LET'S RECYCLE!
LET'S HELP SAVE THE PLANET
244
00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:25,791
Look, look. Watch that guy.
245
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,791
Take this. Look. Same guy, right?
246
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,041
That's the guy vandalizing the posters.
247
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,208
It's him, right?
248
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,875
- You think?
- Yeah, 100%.
249
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,250
Wanna help me out?
250
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:43,000
At least he should apologize. I'm sick
and tired of being taken for a fool.
251
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:45,041
Okay.
252
00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,958
You go from the front,
and I'll go in back.
253
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,125
Move on him like pliers.
254
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,833
What-what's a plier?
255
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,833
Tac, tac!
256
00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:54,541
What's up?
257
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:55,625
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
258
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:57,083
- Good.
- Oh, hey.
259
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,458
Do you recognize us?
260
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:01,541
Al Pacino and Stephen Hawking.
261
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:03,958
- And who is Stephen Hawking?
- Can I ask for a favor?
262
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,000
Will you open your bag
so I can check it out?
263
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,041
You've got a search warrant?
264
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:11,041
Man, look, all we want
is an apology. Okay?
265
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:15,125
It's one thing to do street art,
which we completely respect,
266
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,458
and another thing to insult us, get it?
267
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:21,351
I have no idea what you are
talking about, man. Beat it.
268
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,791
Oh, okay.
269
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:27,083
Hey, hey, hey! Dude! Hey!
270
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:29,416
What are you, crazy?
271
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,476
Hey! What are you doing?
Hey, hey, hey! What the...
272
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,666
- Thanks.
- Are you insane? What's wrong with you?
273
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,892
- You dropped this, man.
- Check if he's got a spray can.
274
00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:37,750
You can't go
through my stuff. Stop it!
275
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,875
No. No, no.
276
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:41,916
He's got a couple cellphones,
277
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,041
a little cocaine, a lot of molly,
but no... no spray cans.
278
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:47,875
What are you, a dealer, moron?
279
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,500
- What do we do?
- Take him to the station.
280
00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:53,303
- Someone get in trouble there?
- Quiet, just keep painting, alright?
281
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:58,583
That's it.
282
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,375
Beautiful. Really good.
283
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,375
Move, lemme see.
284
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,041
My friend is gonna love it.
285
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,541
- You guys are weirdos, huh?
- Shh.
286
00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,583
Draw another penis in her mouth.
287
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,458
Freeze!
Freeze or I'll shoot you!
288
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:16,000
- Thanks, dude.
- Sure. Anytime.
289
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,958
- Yeah.
- Hey, I took a little bit.
290
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,684
- I don't know if...
- It's fine, don't tell.
291
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,750
- No? No?
- Don't tell me. Just go.
292
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:23,708
Appreciate it.
293
00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:27,833
I already told the cops.
294
00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:30,541
They were at a barbecue,
but no way they'll believe this.
295
00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:33,500
You won't get a pat on the back
for catching me. I'm just a freelancer.
296
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,250
Wanna tell us who your boss is?
297
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,583
I work for Woppy.
298
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,166
Do you take pride in your work?
299
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,708
Better than what you guys do here.
300
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,750
At least I provide a service.
I'm not living off the State though.
301
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:46,625
I don't mean to disrespect you.
302
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,500
I appreciate what you do.
You're very brave.
303
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,833
Ooh, a service?
304
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:52,041
A service?
305
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,250
Alright, let's see what kind of service.
306
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,333
Alright, uh...
307
00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:58,166
- Well...
- Mmm. Mmm.
308
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,166
You call this adulterated shit a service?
309
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,791
I'm sorry, but I don't think
you're my target customer.
310
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,791
Ah, because I'm handicapped,
I know nothing about drugs?
311
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:09,708
Do you know how much codeine, Tramadol
and painkillers I have in my blood?
312
00:14:09,791 --> 00:14:12,083
I know. I'm sure you had
a very tough life, I apologize.
313
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,083
No.
314
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,791
- It wasn't that tough.
- My bad.
315
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:20,375
But, I do know enough to realize
a few little things like, for example...
316
00:14:22,666 --> 00:14:25,666
...that this stuff you're selling
is complete shit.
317
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,750
- You snort funny. Do you want a bill?
- No. I like it bareback.
318
00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,416
Yeah. Yeah.
319
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
Oh, boy.
320
00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:38,666
This is very bad.
321
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:39,875
It's really bad.
322
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,916
Is this what you want
your children to use?
323
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,458
Huh? Just work with us, okay?
324
00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,041
Give us a name. Okay?
325
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:49,416
- I dunno, uh... I dunno.
- Well, you gonna speak or keep quiet?
326
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,500
Huh?
327
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,208
Powder.
328
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,916
Hey, chill out, bro.
329
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,541
If you don't...
if you don't want to talk,
330
00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,333
we're not going to force you, okay?!
331
00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:00,333
I mean you can...
332
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:02,136
you're free to do whatever
you want, got it?
333
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:04,666
Oh man, what are we doing?
Good urban guard, bad urban guard?
334
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:07,500
- I bet you're the good one.
- Know what?
335
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,875
- Hey, no.
- I've had it with you. You pissed me off.
336
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,833
Do you need help there?
337
00:15:11,916 --> 00:15:13,583
No. Everything's crammed in here.
338
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:14,750
Okay, what's going on here?
339
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,392
Nothing, we're just interrogating
this guy that was selling drugs.
340
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,625
All good? How's it going?
341
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,250
What is this? Are you insane?
342
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,208
Hey. No, we can't be doing this.
We're not the police.
343
00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:25,750
- Yeah, it's obvious.
- No, man, we are urban guards!
344
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:28,208
What... what, what's so...?
Wipe your nose, Feli.
345
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:31,041
- What's obvious?
- Nothing, that these guys aren't cops.
346
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:32,375
- Is it now? Wait.
- Mm-hm.
347
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:34,416
Violence gets you nowhere, guys, so-
348
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,500
- Exactly! Don't use violence!
- But violence...
349
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,767
- Don't ever use violence!
- Alright, enough, Feli! Okay.
350
00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:41,916
But, sometimes, there are
other methods that can be helpful.
351
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,041
So then, here's what
we're gonna do right now.
352
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:49,958
I'm gonna ask you to take this pencil
and draw a tree, a person, and a house.
353
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:50,875
Go ahead.
354
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,166
And how's that helpful?
355
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,541
Enough.
356
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:54,625
No. Okay.
357
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:58,875
Oh, wow.
358
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,000
What's wrong? Was daddy not around much?
359
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,392
I'm sorry, but can we get
a real officer to interrogate me?
360
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:08,166
We'll be done and you can go back
to getting paid without doing work.
361
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250
- Ah, without doing work. Alright.
- Yeah.
362
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,833
No! Stop! Stop, stop, stop!
363
00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:14,333
- Who's your boss?!
- Stop!
364
00:16:14,416 --> 00:16:16,083
Come on! Who do you work for?
365
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:18,041
- Stop!
- Describe that Woppy guy.
366
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:21,666
I don't know what you want me to say!
He's bald, got a scar on his forehead!
367
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,710
- He's about 50 years old!
- What is this, Miguel?
368
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,791
Uh, we were just interrogating
this male subject.
369
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,875
He was in the park dealing narcotics.
370
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:35,250
It got a little out of hand.
The guys got carried away...
371
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,708
Are you nuts? It doesn't work like this.
372
00:16:37,791 --> 00:16:40,166
There's a D.A.,
a procedure to follow. And this...
373
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,791
is an illegal detention.
You have no authority for this.
374
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,166
You are municipal employees.
375
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,500
They did a full search.
376
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,791
We could get a complaint for this.
For abuse of authority.
377
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,250
Now, thanks to you, we have to let him go.
378
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,958
We were onto him, Mike.
He sells the best blow on the block.
379
00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:57,333
For seven bags of blow,
you fucked up our investigation.
380
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,750
Alright, uh...
381
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,666
I'm gonna go now, guys, so, thanks!
382
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,083
Listen up.
383
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:06,666
For your sake and for this division,
you're suspended.
384
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,333
- No.
- Next time, you're out.
385
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:10,583
Alright. Okay.
386
00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:13,750
I have some pork in the car,
four or five...
387
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,791
- You're really high.
- Huh? What'd you say?
388
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:22,308
I gotta say you're really funny
when you try to act like a badass.
389
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,041
We make a good team, you and I, huh?
390
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:26,500
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
391
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:34,666
HOW IS SEX WITH A PERSON IN A WHEELCHAIR
392
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,125
PREGNANCIES RISE IN ORGIES
IN REHAB CENTER
393
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:41,833
"COME FUCK ME ON MY WHEELCHAIR"
A REVEALING INTERVIEW
394
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,708
COME FUCK ME ON MY WHEELCHAIR
395
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,291
Hi!
396
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:49,125
- All good?
- Yeah, checking emails.
397
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,708
Emails? You shut that quick.
398
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:53,916
- What's going on? You're all good?
- Yeah.
399
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,291
Yeah, everything's fine, thankfully. Fine.
400
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,208
- You showed up unannounced. Good.
- Yeah.
401
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,625
No, I tried calling,
but your number's out of service so...
402
00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:02,125
Huh, right, it's just uh...
403
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,125
I just uh, switched to
another company, ya know?
404
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,458
I got a new phone too.
405
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:08,166
- Want something to eat? Not hungry, but...
- No, don't bother.
406
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,290
I brought your car keys,
I'm gonna grab the toaster.
407
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:11,458
- Oh!
- Okay?
408
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,125
Okay, but... but what's going on?
409
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:17,416
It'd be nice to know what
we're doing with this break. Like, uh...
410
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,833
Are we gonna break
up for good or try again?
411
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,666
Um... let's break up, that's fine.
412
00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,250
Or we could give it some more thought.
413
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,583
No, no, you're right. Let's just split.
414
00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:31,333
Okay, then, you know what? I'm gonna ask
that next time you come to my house,
415
00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:33,176
you ring the doorbell
and give me a heads-up.
416
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,476
But why's it your house?
I'm the one who found this place,
417
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,583
I signed the lease, and I'm staying over
at my sister's small condo.
418
00:18:38,666 --> 00:18:42,250
Okay. If you wanna keep it, just tell me.
No big deal. I'll find somewhere else.
419
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,333
Alright then.
420
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,458
- So you want me to leave tonight?
- Yes.
421
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,741
- You really want that?
- Yeah.
422
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,815
It was just a suggestion!
You don't have to take it literally.
423
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:52,434
- Ah, no! Well, if you could...
- No, it's fine! I'm leaving tonight!
424
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,625
Not a problem.
You want the couch too? Just keep it!
425
00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:56,708
- Oh, well, great.
- You wanna take this?
426
00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,471
It's yours,
I don't even know what that is.
427
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,875
It's a Styrofoam stool!
428
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:02,458
- I don't get it.
- It was made by my sister!
429
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,916
- She designed it!
- Ah.
430
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,958
It's from my dad's factory!
431
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,833
You can have my mom's food too,
it's in the freezer!
432
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,041
Great, yummy, thanks.
I can't wait to eat your mom's food.
433
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:14,583
Oh yay! And you know what?!
434
00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:17,333
I moved the furniture around
to make the space more cohesive!
435
00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:18,958
Ah, fuck my life!
436
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:23,666
I swear I really paid attention.
There were no pigs around.
437
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,375
But these two showed up,
in like a gas station uniform.
438
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,500
A handicapped chick and a freaky
skinny dude who looked kinda dead.
439
00:19:30,166 --> 00:19:32,166
They kept asking me who I worked for.
440
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,833
And what did you say?
441
00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:34,916
Nothing really.
442
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:36,250
But they were nuts.
443
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,916
They took all of our blow
and criticized it as well.
444
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,208
They're right though.
Honestly, I'd prefer not to sell crap.
445
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:45,291
- I have a reputation to uphold.
- "Nothing really"?
446
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:46,750
Define what's "nothing really."
447
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:50,958
Well, uh, you know,
what I meant is, it's just...
448
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,875
Gabriel,
this Urban Guard guy is a problem.
449
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,125
He's messing with us.
450
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,541
Mm. Thanks, Mom.
451
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,333
I'll speak to Paula.
452
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,625
No, no, don't bother.
453
00:20:18,291 --> 00:20:19,583
So we better go now.
454
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,875
I have a spinning class
tomorrow at 8:00, okay?
455
00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:22,958
Okay.
456
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,291
GREEN SPACES
35979
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