All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S01E01.Peter.Pan.SinDrome.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- CHARLESTON'S SPECIAL.

WE HAVE OUR WAYS HERE IN TERMS
OF BEING GENTILE IN OUR CUSTOMS.

- THERE'S A SMALL RULING,
ENTRENCHED MINORITY

OF VERY ESTABLISHED OLD FAMILIES
IN CHARLESTON.

- CHARLESTON AND I HAVE HAD
A LONG RELATIONSHIP.

- IT'S A PLAYGROUND FOR MEN
THAT NEVER WANT TO GROW UP.

- I'VE BEEN DRINKIN' CHAMPAGNE.

- TO GENTS.
- TO GENTS!

- A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN
SHOULD NOT CURSE...

- I'LL MAKE THE [bleep] MOVE
ON YOUR [bleep] LADY,

SO [bleep] YOU.

- SHOULD KNOW
HOW TO DRESS PROPERLY.

- TUXEDO SPEEDO!

- WHOO!
- [laughs]

- A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN
SHOULD BE CHIVALROUS.

- I LIKE THIS DRESS SO MUCH.
JUST TAKE IT OFF.

- BUT I DON'T ALWAYS SEE THAT
FROM THE MEN IN CHARLESTON.

- [laughs]

- THE TYPICAL CHARLESTON GUY
HAS P.P.S. TO THE TENTH DEGREE,

WHICH IS PETER PAN SYNDROME.

- BOYS, OPEN!
LET'S DO IT!

[men whooping]

- ARE YOU CHECKING HER OUT?

- LET'S HAVE SOME FUN!
- [cheers]

- [laughs]

- YOU'RE A SLUT.
- LIKE A MAN WHORE?

- OH, YEAH.

- I'M JUST GONNA PICK YOU UP.
- WHOO!

- THIS IS, LIKE, NORMAL TO HER.

- YOU HOOKED UP WITH HER
LAST NIGHT.

- SO WHAT?

- I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE HAVING
SEX WITH EACH OTHER.

- I DON'T KNOW IF I AM OKAY
WITH THAT.

- I HAVE THIS DESIRE TO GO
HOOK UP WITH M.J., THOUGH.

THEY SAW YOU.

- I'M ALLOWED TO HANG OUT
WITH WHOEVER I WANT.

- EVERYTHING'S COOL
AND ALL THAT?

- ARE YOU ASKING ME THAT?
YOU'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

- I WILL BITCH SLAP YOU
IN A SECOND.

- ARE YOU TOUGH?
- I'M TOUGH.

- YOU JUST LOOK
A LITTLE FRAGILE TO ME.

- SLEEPING WITH THREE PEOPLE
AT THIS TABLE ISN'T CLASS.

- OH, REALLY?
THREE PEOPLE?

NAME THEM.
- I DON'T NEED TO.

- THAT'S NOT HOW WE ACT LIKE
DOWN HERE.

- SHE'S PREGNANT.
- OH, GOD.

I THINK I MAY NEED
SOMETHING STRONGER

THAN THE TEA HERE, WHITNEY.

- YOU SHOULD HAVE
A PATERNITY TEST.

[dramatic music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- WHOO!

[Star-Spangled Banner playing
on electric guitar]

- HERE IN CHARLESTON,
THEY'LL ALWAYS SAY,

"OH, BLESS YOUR HEART,"
"NO PROBLEM."

THEN THEY'LL JUST STAB YOU
IN YOUR BACK.

♪♪ ♪♪

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat pop music]

- ♪♪ MM-HMM ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S GOT MONEY ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S IN MAGAZINES ♪♪

♪♪ HE'S GOT MORE HONEYS ♪♪

♪♪ THAN ANY HONEYBEE ♪♪

♪♪ BA, BA-DOO ♪♪

♪♪ BA-BA, DEE-EE-EE ♪♪

♪♪ IT'S EASY ♪♪

♪♪ AS THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
AND THE ONE TWO THREES ♪♪

♪♪ BA, BA-DOO ♪♪

[upbeat fiddle music]

♪♪ ♪♪

- I'M THOMAS RAVENEL,

AND I'M FROM CHARLESTON,
SOUTH CAROLINA.

MY FAMILY CAME HERE
IN THE 1680s,

AND WE'VE BEEN A PRESENCE HERE
EVER SINCE.

I LIVE IN THE SOUTH OF BROAD
SECTION OF CHARLESTON.

IT'S PROBABLY ONE OF
THE WEALTHIEST NEIGHBORHOODS

PER CAPITA IN THE COUNTRY.

HERE'S TO CAROLINA DAY.

- TOM'S GREAT
AT HITTING ON GIRLS.

"HEY! HOW ARE YOU?"

"YOU LEAVING ME?
DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?

I'M THOMAS RAVENEL."

- THOMAS HAS GOT THE ENERGY
AND THE STAMINA

TO RUN THROUGHOUT
THE WHOLE STATE,

I HAVE NO DOUBT.

- THOMAS RAVENEL,
LIBERTARIAN:

FISCALLY CONSERVATIVE
BUT ALSO VERY SOCIALLY LIBERAL,

AND THE STATE TREASURER
OF SOUTH CAROLINA

WHO WAS IN CHARGE
OF SOME $200 BILLION,

AND THEN SCREWED UP.

- 2007, I WAS INDICTED
FOR CONSPIRACY

TO DISTRIBUTE DRUGS--
UNDER 100 GRAMS OF COCAINE.

I SERVED SIX MONTHS
IN A FEDERAL PRISON,

AND AS A PART
OF THE PLEA AGREEMENT,

I HAD TO RESIGN FROM OFFICE.

KNOW WHERE THE FIRST TIME
I PLAYED THIS GAME WAS?

- NO.

- IN PRISON.

- SHUT UP.
- SWEAR TO GOD.

- BOCCE BALL?

- THEY HAD A BOCCE COURT.

THEY HAD BASKETBALL.
WE PLAYED FOOTBALL.

I WAS ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM.

I HAD MY OWN SOFTBALL TEAM.

I PUT TOGETHER A TEAM.

- OH, LOOK AT YOU.
- I HAD--YEAH.

- EXERTING YOUR LEADERSHIP
IN PRISON.

- YEAH, I DID.
- [laughs]

- GOOD MORNING.

JOINING ME THIS MORNING

IS FORMER STATE TREASURER
THOMAS RAVENEL.

HEY, THOMAS.
HOW YOU DOING?

- GREAT.
IT'S GOOD TO BE HERE, TARA.

- WELL, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,

I GOT TO ASK YOU
THE OBVIOUS QUESTION.

COULD THOMAS RAVENEL COME BACK?

JOHN FROM MOUNT PLEASANT.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

- TO BE HONEST, THOMAS,
YOU SCREWED UP,

AND NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY
THE PIPER.

- I DID MY TIME.

AND THERE WILL BE
A POLITICAL FUTURE.

I'M NOT DONE YET.

THERE WILL BE NAYSAYERS,
BUT, YOU KNOW,

LIKE ADMIRAL FARRAGUT SAID,
"DAMN THE TORPEDOES.

FULL SPEED AHEAD."

- THIS IS YOUR THURSDAY
SURF REPORT,

AND WHAT A DAY IT IS!

- MY NAME IS SHEPARD ROSE,

AND I'M FROM HILTON HEAD ISLAND,
SOUTH CAROLINA.

I COME FROM
AN OLD SOUTH CAROLINA FAMILY.

THEY'RE CALLED
THE BOYKIN FAMILY.

IN THE 1700s,
MY FAMILY FOUNDED

THE TOWN
OF BOYKIN, SOUTH CAROLINA,

SO THEY'VE BEEN AROUND SINCE
THE BEGINNING OF THE COUNTRY.

PULL!

YEEHAW!
JESTER'S DEAD!

THE STATE DOG OF SOUTH CAROLINA
IS NAMED AFTER MY FAMILY:

THE BOYKIN SPANIEL.

SPANIELS, IN GENERAL,
ARE ANNOYING, HYPER,

AND DON'T LISTEN
TO ANYBODY, SO...

I GUESS I'M SORT OF
LIKE THAT TOO.

- SHEP'S FAMILY IS BASICALLY
SOUTHERN ROYALTY,

BUT YOU COULDN'T TELL IT
LOOKING AT HIM.

- I'M OKAY!

I GOT MY BUSINESS DEGREE
AT VANDERBILT,

AND I JUST DECIDED
THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DO

THE 9:00 TO 5:00 THING.

LEISURE IS WHAT
I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT.

EVERYBODY BRING THEIR WALLET?

'CAUSE I--I'M NOT PLAYING
IF IT'S NOT FOR MONEY.

- LET'S DO IT.

- MY BROTHER'S MARRIED
AND MY SISTER HAS TWO KIDS,

BUT I COULDN'T SETTLE DOWN
RIGHT NOW,

BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING
TO SETTLE DOWN TO.

- HEY, BUDDY.
- HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- IT'S SO HOT.

- I KNOW.

- MY NAME IS CAMERAN EUBANKS,

AND I'M FROM ANDERSON,
SOUTH CAROLINA.

MY FAMILY HAS ACTUALLY BEEN
IN SOUTH CAROLINA

FOR ALMOST TEN GENERATIONS,

BUT I AM NOT YOUR TYPICAL
SOUTHERN BELLE.

I LIKE TO CONSIDER MYSELF
A MODERN SOUTHERN WOMAN.

- WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING?
- I WAS JUST STUDYING.

- FOR THE REAL ESTATE EXAM?
- YEAH.

- HOW'S IT GOING?
- IT'S GOING GOOD.

IT'S A LOT OF INFORMATION.

RIGHT NOW I'M IN THE MIDST OF
TRYING TO START MY NEW CAREER,

WHICH IS A REAL ESTATE AGENT.

I LOVE THIS PLACE.

BUT THE THING
ABOUT CHARLESTON IS,

THERE'S NOT A LOT
OF CAREER OPPORTUNITIES

SELLING REAL ESTATE HERE.

THANK YOU.

IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

I MIGHT BE [bleep] OUT OF LUCK.

TELL ME ABOUT
YOUR BIG DAY YESTERDAY

WITH THAT NEW GIRL M.J.

HAVE YOU MADE OUT WITH HER YET?
- YES.

- FRENCH?
- YEAH, THAT'S ABOUT IT, THOUGH.

- DID YOU TOUCH HER BOOBS?
- NAH, HAVEN'T DONE THAT.

- DOES SHE HAVE NICE BOOBS?

- I HOPE SO.

CAMERAN'S ONE OF THE RARE GIRLS
IN CHARLESTON

THAT IS ACTUALLY ONE
OF THE GUYS,

AND BECAUSE SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL,

YOU COULD NEVER IMAGINE THAT
RIGHT OFF,

BUT IT'S DEFINITELY TRUE.

- SO HAVE YOU ASKED M.J. OVER
"TO WATCH A MOVIE" YET?

- YES, YES, I HAVE.

AND SHE DIDN'T COME.

- SHE PROBABLY KNOWS WHAT
"WATCHING A MOVIE" ENTAILS.

- IT ENTAILS WATCHING A MOVIE.

- IF A GUY SAYS TO A GIRL,

"DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER
AND WATCH A MOVIE?"

- YEAH?

- IT'S CODE FOR,

"THERE AIN'T GONNA BE
ANY MOVIE-WATCHING."

- I MEAN, YEAH, THERE'S GONNA BE
SOME SMOOCHING GOING ON,

NO DOUBT.

- I PREDICT IN TWO YEARS,

YOU'LL BE MARRIED.

- 35?
THAT'S TOO YOUNG.

- NO, IT'S NOT.
- YEAH, IT IS.

- LET'S REMEMBER THIS MOMENT...
- OKAY.

- AND ME SAYING THIS.

TWO YEARS FROM NOW...
- OKAY.

- YOU WILL BE MARRIED.

- YOU'RE, LIKE,
THE GUY WHISPERER OR SOMETHING?

- PRETTY MUCH.
- THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I'VE BEEN SENT FROM THE
HEAVENS TO HELP ALL YOU TURDS.

- [laughs]

- IN CHARLESTON,
I DON'T THINK A LOT OF MEN

NATURALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED.

BUT I THINK I COULD GROOM SHEP
INTO A VERY ELIGIBLE BACHELOR

IF HE WOULD LET ME.

- EVERYBODY I KNOW THAT'S OLDER
AND NOT MARRIED

ALWAYS HAS A HUGE-ASS GRIN
ON THEIR FACE.

[laughter]

- DO YOU WANT TO END UP
LIKE THAT?

BEING 50 SLEEPING
WITH 25-YEAR-OLDS?

IT DON'T SOUND THAT BAD, THOUGH.

- YOU JUST DESCRIBED HEAVEN.
LIKE...

- EVERY MAN'S DREAM.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
- YES.

- ARE YOU MARRIED?
- YES.

- HAPPILY?
- YES.

- WOULD YOU EVER WANT
TO BE SINGLE?

- YES.

- [laughs]

GET RULED.

- I'LL SHUT--
I'LL SHUT MY MOUTH NOW.

- SAYS THE MAN
IN ORTHOPEDIC SHOES.

- MY NAME IS
WHITNEY SUDLER-SMITH,

AND I LIVE IN CHARLESTON.

MY FAMILY HISTORY TRACES BACK
TO VIRGINIA IN 1640.

SO MY ANCESTORS ARE
FOUNDING FATHERS OF AMERICA.

I'VE LIVED ALL OVER THE WORLD.

I'M AN ARTIST.

- I DIRECTED A FILM
CALLED ULTRASUEDE.

IT GOT MILDLY MIXED REVIEWS.

DIDN'T GET IT?
WELL, [bleep] 'EM.

[playing symphonic melody
on electric guitar]

DECIDED TO TAKE A BREAK
FROM ALL THE MADNESS.

COME TO CHARLESTON.
CLEAR MY HEAD.

MAYBE OPEN A RESTAURANT.

[high-pitched note reverberates]

- MY HEAD IS VIBRATING.

- AND, YES,
I LIVE WITH MY MOTHER.

- I COULD FEEL IT IN MY TEETH
ALL THE WAY DOWN IN MY ROOM.

JESUS CHRIST, IT'S SO LOUD.

- IT'S ROCK 'N' ROLL, MOM.

- WHEW!
- [laughs]

- WHAT IS THIS?

- WHAT IS THAT?
WHAT IS ALL THIS?

- IT'S SOME CHICK'S CLOTHES.

- WHAT IS THIS, A--
- WHAT'S THAT SAY?

- [laughs]

- "ANN TAYLOR."
WHERE IS THAT FROM?

- ANN TAYLOR?
- [laughs]

- WHY IS THIS HERE?
THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE.

- YEAH.

- MOM WAS A TRUE SOUTHERN BELLE.

SHE'S ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS.

I LOVE HER TO DEATH.

I THINK SHE'S THE CHICEST,
MOST GLAMOROUS WOMAN

I'VE EVER KNOWN.

BUT I'M A GROWN MAN.

I CAN WHATEVER THE [bleep]
I WANT.

- BUT TO LEAVE ALL THIS CRAP
IN SOMEBODY'S ROOM...

- WHO CARES?
WHY DO YOU CARE?

- WELL, I CARE.
- WHY?

- BECAUSE IT'S MESSY
AND IT'S DISRESPECTFUL.

MAYBE I SHOULD CHANGE
MY TACTICS

AND, YOU KNOW, PRETEND
THAT I'M HAPPY

HAVING THESE TRAIL OF WOMEN
GOING THROUGH THE HOUSE.

UNDERWEAR, MAKEUP, SHOES...

YOU KNOW, I USED TO GO
TO THE TROUBLE

TO CHECK THEM OUT TO SEE
IF THEY WERE, YOU KNOW,

DAUGHTER-IN-LAW MATERIAL:

WELL-EDUCATED,
CHARMING, ATTRACTIVE.

NOW I'VE REDUCED THE LIST

TO JUST AS LONG
AS THEY WALK UPRIGHT,

I'D BE HAPPY.

[laughs]

- I WAS THINKING,

I NEED TO JUST GET, LIKE,
A STABBIN' CABIN IN TOWN.

- A STABBIN' CABIN?

IS THAT, LIKE, GANGSTER TALK
OR SOMETHING?

- YOU KNOW,
IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU-KNOW-WHAT.

- [laughs]
- YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU THINK
YOU'LL SPEND OVER THERE?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL COME BACK AND FORTH,
ALWAYS SEE YOU.

- I MEAN, IF HE WANTS TO LEAVE
HIS OLD MOTHER, HIS OLD--

- I KNOW.
YOUR MOM AND EVERYTHING.

- I DON'T HAVE MANY YEARS LEFT.
- I KNOW, MOTHER.

- AND YOU'LL MISS ME
WHEN I'M GONE.

- I KNOW, MOM.
I KNOW.

- YOU HAVE A GREYHOUND.

- BUT YOU COULD TAKE
YOUR AMPLIFIER.

- I KNOW, MOTHER.

[horse chuffs]

[knocking on door]

- MR. FOLKS.
- DUDE.

- HOW YOU DOING?
- WHAT'S UP?

- WILL FOLKS IS
MY POLITICAL CONSULTANT.

AND WE SHARE
THE SAME LIBERTARIAN VIEWS,

WHICH MEANS SOCIALLY LIBERAL
AND FISCALLY CONSERVATIVE,

THAT THE GOVERNMENT
SHOULD BE LIMITED, SMALL,

AND SHOULD STAY OUT OF BOTH
THE BEDROOMS

AND THE BOARD ROOMS.

- THE LAST TIME I WAS IN HERE,
THIS WAS A BACHELOR PAD

WITH FUN TIMES TO BE HAD
BY ALL.

YOU'VE MELLOWED.

THAT DISAPPOINTS ME
A LITTLE BIT.

- [laughs]

- I GOT TO ASK...
- MMKAY.

- I MEAN, ARE YOU FOR REAL HERE?

I MEAN, ARE WE RUNNING
FOR SOMETHING,

OR ARE WE JUST HAVING
SOME FUN?

- BOTH.

I THINK I CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
I REALLY DO.

SO YEAH.

I'D LIKE TO REDEEM MYSELF
IN THE EYES OF THE PUBLIC.

BUT AS A CONVICTED FELON,

I CAN ONLY RUN
FOR THREE POLITICAL OFFICES:

THE U.S. HOUSE,
THE U.S. SENATE,

OR PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES.

- THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

THAT PEOPLE ARE GONNA BE
FOCUSED ON IS,

WHERE'S YOUR PERSONAL LIFE?

- RIGHT.

- ALL I KNOW IS, YOU GOT
AN ARMY OF WOMEN OUT THERE.

I'D JUST PICK ONE.

- [laughs]

- AND FOR MY MONEY,
I'D PICK KATHRYN.

I'M JUST SAYING.
- [laughs]

SHE'S, UH...

- I LIKE THE REDHEADS, THOUGH.
WHAT CAN I SAY, RIGHT?

- KATHRYN DENNIS IS FROM
AN OLD SOUTH CAROLINA FAMILY,

THE SCION OF TWO MAJOR FAMILIES.

JOHN C. CALHOUN, HE WAS
VICE PRESIDENT OF THE COUNTRY

BACK IN 1800s.

AND HER GRANDFATHER
BASICALLY RAN THE STATE.

HE WAS CHAIRMAN
OF THE FINANCE COMMITTEE.

- SHE'S SOLID, DUDE.

[snaps fingers]

- DUDE, SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.

- STAY CLEAN.
GET MARRIED.

LET'S GO.

- LET'S DO IT.
- ALL RIGHT.

- LET'S GET THIS SHOW GOING.

- COMING UP...

- THE GIRL TO GUY RATIO
IS, LIKE, TEN TO ONE,

SO GUYS HAVE A BUFFET OF WOMEN
AT THEIR DISPOSAL.

- WE'RE FRIENDS.
- YEAH.

- PLATONIC...
- COMPLETELY.

- FOR NOW.

[alarm beeping]

- I'M CRAIG CONOVER,

AND I'M CURRENTLY IN LAW SCHOOL.

I MOVED DOWN TO CHARLESTON
FOR COLLEGE,

AND WITHIN AN HOUR,
I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT,

AND I KNEW THERE WAS
NOWHERE ELSE FOR ME TO BE.

HAVE YOU GUYS DONE ANYTHING

ON THIS MANUFACTURED HOME
CLASS ACTION?

THE GUYS I HANG OUT WITH,

THEY'RE ALWAYS CALLING ME.

LIKE, "DUDE, WHERE ARE YOU?
I'M HAVING A PARTY."

I'M LIKE, "I'M AT THE OFFICE."

I HAVE THIS THING CALLED A JOB.

SO WHEN THE PARTY'S START AT
1:00 OR 2:00 IN THE AFTERNOON,

I CAN'T BE THERE.

- HEY, CRAIG.
GOT A FEW MINUTES?

- AM I IN TROUBLE AGAIN?

- NOT NECESSARILY.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S TRY TO MAKE THIS
AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE.

YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB.
YOU REALLY ARE.

JUST MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET HERE
ON TIME.

- I MAKE IT, LIKE, THREE OUT
OF FIVE DAYS A WEEK ON TIME.

- LET'S TRY TO DO
NORMAL-PEOPLE HOURS.

I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE TO GO OUT
AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.

- I'M KNOWN FOR BEING
A SOCIALITE.

I FEEL LIKE I EMBRACE
WHAT CHARLESTON STANDS FOR.

- IT'S CALLED BALANCE.

IT'S HARD TO DO
IN THIS TOWN, THOUGH.

- NOT TOO MANY OF THE GUYS
I'VE BEEN HANGING OUT RECENTLY

HAVE RESPONSIBILITY.

THOMAS AND THOSE GUYS DON'T HAVE
TO WAKE UP IN THE MORNING.

A RANDOM WEDNESDAY,
THEY'RE GONNA HAVE A BIG PARTY,

AND I KIND OF FEEL BAD
IF I DON'T GO,

'CAUSE EVERYONE EXPECTS ME
TO BE THERE,

AND THEN I FIND MYSELF
COMING IN A LITTLE LATE.

- YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA BE JUDGED
BY THE PEOPLE YOU HANG OUT WITH,

WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

- WHAT IS UP, BROTHER?

WE'RE COMING AROUND.

- HEY, HOW ARE YOU?
- LOOKING GOOD.

I LOVE THIS NUMBER.
LOOKING GOOD.

- I KNOW.
- YOU REMEMBER THE WIFE?

- ABSOLUTELY.
HELLO, DARLING.

HOW ARE YOU?
- MWAH.

- HEY, CAM.
- HEY, BITCH.

- HI.

AU CHANTE.

SOUTHERNERS LOVE TO DRINK
TO EXCESS

ALL DAY [bleep] LONG.

AND, UH, I RESPECT THAT.

ONE PART DARK RUM.

ONE--YEAH, AND WE NEED
SOMETHING SOMETHING OF BRANDY.

- DOUBLE IT, THOUGH.
- GIN, DUDE.

- DOUBLE THAT [bleep].

- I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL LUSH
DOING THIS.

- I ONLY TOOK ONE SIP.
- OKAY, LET'S TRY IT.

IT'S THE TASTE OF VICTORY.

- OHH.
WHOA.

IT'S LIKE BENADRYL.

- DRUNK.

- NO OFFENSE...
I'M GONNA GO ON A BEER RUN.

- NO WAY.
I DON'T WANT BEER.

- [laughs]

- YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK CARBS.

HOW ABOUT A WHITE WINE?
- OH, MY GOD!

- ARE YOU EVEN LOOKING AT HER?
- WHAT!

REALLY, WHITNEY!

I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHITNEY'S OBSESSION WITH CARBS.

HE'S NOT DRINKING THE BEER.
I AM.

SO DON'T WORRY, WHITNEY.

THIS IS NOT GOING TO AFFECT
YOUR WEIGHT.

- YOU'VE GOT
A MAJOR PROBLEM, DUDE.

BEER IS AS OLD AS TIME.

[laughter]

GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, SHEP.

- HOW'S IT GOING?
- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- ANOTHER WORK WEEK--ANOTHER
WORK WEEK DOWN THE DRAIN.

- YEAH.

I THINK THERE IS KIND OF
AN INTENSE PRESSURE HERE.

FOR WOMEN, YOUR LOT IN LIFE
IS TO GET MARRIED

AND PRODUCE CHILDREN.

BUT THERE'S VERY FEW MEN HERE,

SO ONCE YOU REACH A CERTAIN AGE,
YOU'RE KIND OF SCREWED...

[laughs]
IN CHARLESTON.

- YOU'RE A LADIES' MAN.
YOU'RE A LADIES' MAN.

- NO, NO, I'M JUST A MAN.
- [laughs]

- I'M NOT EVEN THAT.
I'M A BOY.

- YOU ARE A BOY.
- YEAH.

- YOU'RE A BOY.

- THE GIRL TO GUY RATIO HERE
IS, LIKE, TEN TO ONE,

SO GUYS HAVE A BUFFET OF WOMEN
AT THEIR DISPOSAL.

- IF YOU WEREN'T CRAWLING
ON COUCHES

WHEN YOU HAVE
A FEW TOO MANY DRINKS,

MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T HAVE...

- PEOPLE REJECTING ME.
- CORRECT.

- OKAY.

SO IF I, LIKE, HELD IT TOGETHER
ONE NIGHT,

YOU WOULD ACCEPT MY ADVANCES?

- YOU'RE MOST ATTRACTIVE
WHEN YOU'RE SOBER.

- YES.
- WE'LL JUST GO THERE.

- YES.
- BUT IT'S MORE FUN NOT TO BE.

- THAT IS WHY YOU'LL BE
A BACHELOR FOREVER.

- [laughs]
- I WILL, WON'T I?

- YOU WILL.

- WHAT'S WRONG
WITH JUST FLOATING ALONG

AND NOT GETTING MARRIED?

- THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THAT.

- NOTHING.

- I'M GONNA FIND SOMEBODY
THAT'S SUFFICIENTLY MEAN TO ME

AND BELITTLES ME.

YOU'RE REALLY MEAN TO ME,
BUT THERE'S NO WAY.

- NO.
- [laughs]

- NO.
MM-MM.

- NO?
- WAY TOO ARROGANT.

- OH, MY GOD.
- ARROGANT?

- BLEH, I CAN'T DO THIS.
- WE'RE FRIENDS.

- YEAH.
- YEAH.

PLATONIC...
- COMPLETELY.

- FOR NOW.

- T. RAVENATION.
- THAT'S RIGHT.

I GOT--I GOT MOTOR NATION.
- RAVENATION.

- HEY.

WILL THINKS I NEED A WIFE,

BUT I THINK WILL IS WRONG
IN HIS BLASE ATTITUDE

THAT I SHOULD JUST PICK A WIFE

LIKE I'M PICKING A CROISSANT
IN THE BAKERY.

- WE GOT DEATH PUNCH OVER HERE.

GET IN THERE.

- HOW IS THAT?
- MM.

IT'S GOOD.

- THERE HE IS!
- FINALLY!

[indistinct shouting]

- WHAT'S UP, GUYS?
SORRY, SORRY.

- DARLING.
- HEY, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

- OH, YOU KNOW,
JUST HANGING OUT.

- WHERE YOU BEEN, D?

- I WAS IN COURT.

I'M, LIKE, STRESSED OUT AS HELL.
- ARE YOU SERIOUS?

- THE JURY'S OUT.

THEY'VE BEEN OUT
FOR, LIKE, FIVE HOURS.

- WERE YOU ARGUING?
- NO.

I JUST DO--
I'M A WANNABE LAWYER, SO...

- THAT'S ACTUALLY MORE BORING
THAN ONE WOULD THINK, RIGHT?

- BUT YOU HAVE TO LIKE IT
OR YOU'D JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.

I--SEE, IT'S FUN FOR ME.
- YEAH.

UNLESS YOU ARE
A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE

OR, YOU KNOW,
A FAMOUS MOVIE ACTOR,

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HEAR
ABOUT YOUR JOB.

- SHE'S SORT OF GOOD-LOOKING.

- SHE'S A SCION OF TWO OF THE
MOST POWERFUL POLITICAL FAMILIES

OF SOUTH CAROLINA.

KATHRYN'S REPUTATION IS A SORT
OF SOUTH CAROLINA CELEBUTANTE.

SHE HAD BEEN A PAGE
IN THE STATE SENATE,

AND THEY CALLED HER
SENATE BARBIE.

DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT.
HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD.
HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- MWAH.
MWAH.

OH, HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M ERIC.
- ERIC, PLEASURE.

- PLEASURE TO MEET YOU.

- WHERE'D YOU GET YOUR BEAUTY?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- AND HOW ABOUT THIS?
WHAT COLOR HAIR IS THAT?

- RED.
- RED.

- WHAT EVERYONE WOULD CALL IT.
- [laughs]

I LIKE IT.

IT'S NATURALLY--YOU'RE NATURALLY
AUBURN, THOUGH?

- YES.
- OKAY.

- IF YOU'RE RED, BE REDDER.
IF YOU'RE TALL, BE TALLER.

- EXACTLY.
CHEERS.

- CHA-CHING.

WOMEN... HMM.

I LIKE WOMEN.
[laughs]

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

- IS YOUR--YOU'RE TENNIS,
PRO TENNIS, RIGHT, OR SOMETHING?

- RIGHT, YEAH.
- I BET YOU HAVE A SWEET SWING.

- I DO.

- WAS THAT CORNY?
- YES.

- "I BET YOU HAVE
A SWEET SWING."

I BET YOU DO TOO.
FULLER, RIGHT?

- YEAH, IT'S VERY--YOU KNOW,
IT'S GOT TO BE SWEET.

COMING UP...

MAYBE I'M OLD-FASHIONED,

BUT A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN
ALWAYS BRINGS A LADY COFFEE

IN THE MORNING.

[coffee maker beeping]

- MAYBE I'M OLD-FASHIONED,

BUT A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN ALWAYS
BRINGS A LADY COFFEE

IN THE MORNING.

YOU GET ANY SLEEP?

- [chuckles]

- I NORMALLY DON'T HAVE
A THING FOR REDHEADS.

MY INTUITION SAID "NO."

BUT MAYBE MY LITTLE HEAD
WAS SAYING, "YES!"

BECAUSE SHE WAS HOT.

[softly]
OH, GOD.

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN UP?

- [groans]
JUST, LIKE, TEN MINUTES.

[sighs]

- MY NAME IS JENNA KING,

AND I GREW UP
IN SUMTER, SOUTH CAROLINA.

I MEAN, I COULD'VE BEEN
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE

THAT JUST GOT MARRIED
RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL

AND STARTED A FAMILY,

BUT I GUESS I REBELLED
AGAINST THAT.

I'VE LIVED IN MIAMI.
I'VE LIVED IN NEW YORK.

TRAVELED AROUND EUROPE
FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

I DO NOT LIKE STAYING
IN ONE PLACE FOR TOO LONG.

I GET PRETTY BORED EASILY.

I THINK I'LL STAY IN CHARLESTON

UNTIL I GET BORED AGAIN,
I GUESS.

[laughs]

HEY, BABY.
- BABY DOLL.

- YOU READY TO DO THIS?
- LOVE THE CAR.

IT'S LIKE THE STARTER BENZ.
- WHAT IS THAT?

- IT'S LIKE THE FIRST WIVES'
CAR, YOU KNOW?

- THIS IS MY STARTER BENZ, THEN.
THIS IS MY SECOND.

- NICE.
- [laughs]

- MET JENNA IN LOS ANGELES.

KIND OF HIT IT OFF
AND BEEN FRIENDS EVER SINCE.

WE'VE TRAVELED A LOT,
LIVED ALL OVER THE WORLD,

AND BOTH KIND OF ENDED UP HERE
IN CHARLESTON.

- HI!
- OH, HI, GIRL!

- HOW ARE YOU?
- LONG TIME NO SEE.

- LONG TIME NO SEE.
WELCOME.

- THANK YOU.
THIS IS MY FRIEND WHITNEY.

- HI.
- HEY, YOU.

HEY, DARLING, HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THIS?

- I KNOW.
IT'S A CAGED SKIRT.

IT HAS GREEN VELVET MINI SKIRT
UNDERNEATH.

- YOU GOT THE DAISY DUKES HERE.
- [laughs]

- SERIOUSLY,
YOU GO STRAIGHT TO THAT?

- YEAH, I WANT TO SEE CHEEK
HANGING OUT

FROM BELOW THE CUTOFF LINE.

- OKAY, I'M GONNA TRY
THIS STUFF ON.

- JENNA IS UNLIKE OTHER GIRLS
IN CHARLESTON

IN THAT SHE DOESN'T WEAR
THE LILLY PULITZER,

HAVE BLEACH BLONDE HAIR,
WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP, AND...

SHE DOES HER OWN THING.

DOESN'T GIVE A [bleep],
LIKE ME, WHICH I LIKE.

- THERE YOU GO.
YEAH.

- YEAH, THOSE FIT.

- THEY SHOULD...
- LOOKS LIKE TAMPON STRINGS.

[laughter]

- J.D.!
- RAVENATION!

WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?
- GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.

- YOU DOING ALL RIGHT, BROTHER?
- FANTASTIC.

- YOU'RE LOOKING GOOD,
LOOKING GOOD, GODDAMN.

- I LIKE THAT BOW TIE.

- WELL, YOU KNOW,
JUST TRYING TO KEEP UP.

[laughter]

- I MET J.D. BACK IN 2001.

HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.

WHEN HE WAS SINGLE,
J.D. WAS QUITE A LADIES' MAN,

BUT NOW HE'S GOT A GREAT WIFE,

AND THEY'VE GOT FOUR KIDS.

YOU BEEN BUSY?
- GOOD GOD.

I'VE BEEN RUNNING LIKE A MAD MAN
ALL DAY.

- HAVE A COCKTAIL.
TAKE THE EDGE OFF.

- I CAN DO THAT.
[laughs]

IN CHARLESTON,
YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION

TO, OH, IS IT 1:00 OR 2:00
WHEN IT COMES TO DRINKING.

MAN, CHEERS, BROTHER.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- ALL RIGHT.

ARE YOU READY
FOR THE POLO MATCH TOMORROW?

- YES.
MM.

- MM.
- MM.

THE BARN'S FINISHED, RIGHT?

- BARN'S FINISHED.

SO TELL ME.

I WANTED TO GET
A LITTLE BIT OF ADVICE FROM YOU,

'CAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE VERY GOOD
IN THAT AREA.

I MEAN, YOU'RE ENJOYING
THIS MARRIED LIFE,

KIDS AND ALL--SERIOUSLY.

- IT SUITS ME.
YES, IT DOES.

IT'S HARD TO IMAGINE,
BUT IT DOES.

- 'CAUSE MY CONSULTANT
WILL FOLKS WAS TELLING ME,

YOU KNOW, "YOU GOT AN ARMY
OF WOMEN OUT THERE.

YOU NEED TO JUST PICK ONE."

- BE VERY, VERY CHOOSY.

- HE'S JUST THINKING SNAPSHOT
FOR THE POLITICAL ADVERTISEMENT.

I'M THINKING, OKAY, NOW I GOT
TO LIVE WITH THIS PERSON,

AND I GOT TO BE
AROUND THIS PERSON 24/7.

- THAT'S YOUR LIFE PARTNER,
BUBBA.

- J.D. TRUSTS ME ON ISSUES

REGARDING FINANCE
AND DEVELOPMENT.

AND I SEEK OUT
AND I TRUST HIS ADVICE

ON PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS.

THAT'S BEEN MY ACHILLES' HEEL.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THIS GIRL
KATHRYN DENNIS?

- OVER AT WHITNEY'S,
THE LITTLE POOL PARTY.

- YEAH, WE WENT BACK
TO MY PLACE, AND, YOU KNOW...

- OHH, I CAN IMAGINE
THAT WAS PRETTY SPECIAL.

- YEAH.
- [laughs]

- WHAT'S YOUR OPINION
ON HER?

- WELL...

WHAT DO YOU THINK, YOU KNOW?

- WELL, I THINK SHE'S YOUNG.

YOU KNOW, A BIT YOUNG, IF I CAN
UNDERSTATE THE POINT A BIT.

BUT SHE'S--

I MEAN, SHE'S OBVIOUSLY
A BEAUTIFUL GIRL,

YOU KNOW, AND NICE FAMILY.

- THOSE ARE GOOD THINGS.

CHOOSING THE RIGHT WOMAN IS KEY,

SO OBVIOUSLY,
MAKING THE WRONG DECISION,

THAT CAN COME BACK
AND HAUNT YOU.

MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION
CAN MAKE YOU PRESIDENT.

WELL, AND DEPENDING,
YOU KNOW--

IF YOU SAY
SHE'S AT A YOUTHFUL STATE,

YOU KNOW, YOUR GOALS
MIGHT NOT BE ALIGNED.

- YEAH.

- CHECK OUT ALL YOUR OPTIONS.
- YEAH.

- I WOULDN'T--I WOULDN'T CLOSE
DOWN TO ONE LITTLE NOTCH.

- HELLO!
- HI, LADIES.

- HOW ARE YOU?

[indistinct conversations]

- HI, BABY.

- HI.
- SORRY I'M LATE.

- [laughs]
- COME HERE.

- [laughs]
- HOW ARE YOU?

- HI, CAMERAN.

- I KNOW.

- CHARLESTON IS
SUCH A SMALL TOWN

FOR IT BEING AN ACTUAL CITY.

I KNEW JENNA WAY BACK WHEN
IN HIGH SCHOOL,

AND IT'S AWESOME THAT I'M
GETTING TO SEE HER AGAIN NOW.

- SO WAS SHE NAUGHTY
IN HIGH SCHOOL?

WAS SHE THE BAD GIRL?
- NO!

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT JENNA
WAS BAD IN HIGH SCHOOL.

MAYBE A LITTLE ALTERNATIVE?

- I KNOW WHEN I MET YOU,
IT WAS IN THE POOL.

WE WERE
WITH SOME FOOTBALL PLAYERS.

- WHICH POOL WERE WE AT?

- I HAVE A VISUAL OF IT.
I DON'T KNOW.

- DO YOU STILL HATE HER
'CAUSE SHE TOOK YOUR BOYFRIEND?

[laughter]

SO CONGRATULATIONS
ON PASSING YOUR EXAM TODAY.

- THANKS!
- BIG DEAL.

- YES, I WAS NERV.

I DECIDED TO GET
MY REAL ESTATE LICENSE

BECAUSE IT'S SOMETHING
THAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO.

- SO YOU CAN START
SHOWING HOUSES NOW

OR DO YOU HAVE TO PASS
THE STATE EXAM?

- NO, THAT WAS THE STATE EXAM.

- CONGRATULATIONS.

WHAT'S THE NEXT STEP?

- THE NEXT STEP IS,

I HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY
TO SELL A HOUSE TO, A.K.A. YOU.

[laughter]

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

LET'S KEEP IT MOVING.

- I AM NOT
INDEPENDENTLY WEALTHY.

I DON'T HAVE A TRUST FUND.

SO I THINK IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
FOR A WOMAN

TO HAVE THE MEANS
TO SUPPORT HERSELF

AND NOT TO DEPEND ON A MAN
FOR, YOU KNOW,

TAKING CARE OF HER
FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

- SO ARE YOU GUYS GOING
TO THOMAS' POLO MATCH TOMORROW?

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND POLO.
- ME NEITHER.

- IT'S LIKE 4%
OF THE POPULATION,

I THINK, THAT ACTUALLY KNOWS
AND WATCHES POLO.

- NO, LESS THAN 0%.

- I WENT TO DILLARD'S.

I'M LIKE,
"DO Y'ALL GOT CHURCH HATS?"

I'M LIKE, I DON'T KNOW
WHERE IN CHARLESTON

I'M GONNA GO GET A DAMN HAT.

OH, GOD.

- SO WHY CAN'T WE FIND
THOMAS RAVENEL

A PROPER, RESPECTABLE GIRL?

YOU MUST KNOW SOMEONE.

- HE HAS TO FIND SOMEONE
THAT DOESN'T LIVE HERE.

- SOMEONE THAT DOESN'T MIND
THAT HE'S A CONVICTED FELON.

- YEAH.

IT'D BE FUNNY
IF HE GOT A TATTOO IN JAIL.

- A TRAMP STAMP.

- IT JUST SAYS "RAVENEL"
OVER HIS ASS CRACK.

[laughter]

- TRAMP STAMP OF THE BRIDGE.

[laughter]

- STOP!

- COMING UP...

- OH, MY GOD.
- HI, WHITNEY.

- WHEN A NEW GIRL WALKS
INTO OUR GROUP OF GUYS,

YOU CAN READ EACH OTHER'S FACES.

YOU CAN TELL
IF SOMEONE'S INTERESTED.

- SO YOU GOT A STYLE, MAN.

- SO YOU LET HIM HAVE
A FULL SWING AT IT.

- THIS IS YOUR POLO MATCH.

- ALL RIGHT,
SO WE DON'T REALLY NEED

A REGULATION SIZED FIELD TODAY.

I JUST WANT PEOPLE HERE TO BE
ABLE TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

BE THE FIRST TIME
WE PLAYED HERE.

I BOUGHT
BROOKLAND PLANTATION 2006.

IT'S ABOUT 60 MILES SOUTHWEST
FROM DOWNTOWN CHARLESTON.

IT'S A PIECE OF HEAVEN.

AH, GLAD THESE THINGS
ARE COLLAPSIBLE,

'CAUSE I'VE ACTUALLY RUN
INTO THESE A FEW TIMES.

VERY DANGEROUS.

WHEN I GOT OUT OF PRISON,

I WAS SORT OF LISTLESS,

AND I FOUND POLO
WAS SOMETHING

I POURED MY HEART
AND ENERGIES INTO,

AND IT GAVE ME
A RAISON D'ETRE.

SO I DECIDED TO BUILD
A POLO FIELD.

BEAUTIFUL.
- YEAH.

- ALL RIGHT.
THAT LOOKS GOOD.

I LIKE IT.

- I LIKE THAT.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE.

- OH, THAT IS SO CUTE!

[laughter]

- EVERYBODY THINKS
THAT POLO IS A RACE.

I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN IT...

- THERE ARE HORSES AND MALLETS
AND A LOT OF ARGENTINIAN MEN.

- OH, WELL,
GET YOUR HIGH HEELS ON.

[laughter]

- TYPICALLY, POLO IS ASSOCIATED
WITH OSTENTATION.

- OH, THAT IS SO CUTE!

- BUT I THINK IT IS SO SILLY

THAT PEOPLE FEEL THE NEED
TO GET DECKED OUT...

OKAY, SO FINAL DECISION.
THIS IS MY OUTFIT.

- THAT'S REALLY CUTE.

- WHEN YOU'RE WALKING AROUND
IN HORSE [bleep].

LET'S CHEERS
TO HAVING A FUN DAY.

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF FUN.
- WE WILL HAVE FUN.

- OKAY, SO YOU HAVE
NOT REALLY, LIKE,

SERIOUSLY TOLD US
WHO'S GONNA BE THERE.

- I REALLY DON'T KNOW--

I KNOW THOMAS IS
OBVIOUSLY GONNA BE THERE.

I'VE KNOWN THOMAS, LIKE, AS
AN ACQUAINTANCE OVER THE YEARS.

HE HAS A PLANTATION.
HE HAS HORSES.

HE REALLY SHOULD BE THE END-ALL
FOR MOST WOMEN IN CHARLESTON.

I THINK HE, LIKE,
GETS A BAD RAP

WITH JUST EVERYTHING
THAT'S HAPPENED TO HIM,

BUT IT'S ONLY BECAUSE
OF HIS LAST NAME.

- YEAH.

- IN CHARLESTON,
A LAST NAME MEANS A LOT,

AND BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED
TO THOMAS, WHAT HE DID,

HE, UNFORTUNATELY, SOILED
THE FAMILY NAME.

AND I THINK THAT'S SOMETHING
THAT'S PROBABLY GONNA HAUNT HIM

FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

ALL RIGHT, LADIES, CHEERS.

both: CHEERS.

- POLO!
- WE'LL HAVE FUN.

both: YES.

[indistinct conversations]

- YOU WANT ME TO TAKE
THE FIRST TOAST?

- YOU GO FOR IT.

- THAT TASTES GOOD.

- MM.

- MM!
- AHH.

- YOU DID A GOOD JOB, MAN.

IT'S FRICKIN' GORGEOUS OUT HERE.
- YEAH.

I HAVE PUT PROBABLY $1 MILLION
INTO THIS POLO FIELD.

I SPENT A LOT OF MONEY,

BUT, YOU KNOW,
I MAKE A LOT OF MONEY,

MAINLY THROUGH
REAL ESTATE DEVELOPMENT,

SO IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER.

YOU KNOW,
WE'RE ONLY ON THIS EARTH

FOR A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME,

SO WHY NOT HAVE FUN WITH IT?

- THIS IS SO PRETTY.

THESE TYPE OF SMALL,
PRIVATE PLANTATION POLO EVENTS

ARE DEFINITELY A SEE AND BE SEEN
TYPE OF THING.

- HORSES SCARE ME, DUDE.

THAT THING KICKS YOU,
YOU'RE DONE FOR, YOU KNOW?

WATCH THAT TOO.

THAT IS DISGUSTING.

- THAT'S THE THROW-IN.

THOMAS RAVENEL
LONG DRIVE DOWN THE FIELD

THROUGH THE BROOKLAND
HOME FIELD.

- HEY, T-RAV!

DON'T FALL OFF!

[male announcer
speaking indistinctly]

I MEAN, IS THERE ANYTHING...

- I DON'T THINK SO.

- THERE IS A GOAL,
AND IT LOOKED LIKE WE GOT...

- HEY, BUDDY.
- GOOD TO SEE YOU.

- GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

- WHO ARE YOU PULLING FOR?

- I'M PULLING FOR J.D.
TO NOT DIE.

- [laughs]

[laughter]

HORSE HE'S ON IS GONNA DIE.

POOR THING'S KNEES
WERE BUCKLING.

POOR CREATURE, MAN.

- RAVENEL ON THE NEAR SIDE.

- OH, THERE'S THOMAS.
HE'S GOING FOR ONE.

DUDE, HE'S GOT IT.
THIS IS A GOAL.

IF HE SCREWS THIS UP...

- OH! OH!

HE DID.

- HE BLEW IT.
- HE DROPPED IT.

- THE THING I LOVE MOST
ABOUT POLO--

THE OWNERS PLAY ON THE TEAM,
SO IT'S LIKE,

IF I OWN
THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS,

IT'S LIKE,
"HMM, I CAN BE QUARTERBACK."

- YEAH, HE'S FASCINATED BY THIS.

HE'S LIKE, "I COULD BE
THE SHORT STOP ON THE YANKEES."

- IT'S CALLED A PLAYER-MANAGER.

- THOMAS HAS
A REALLY FUN LIFESTYLE.

I MEAN,
ANYONE THAT HAS ENOUGH MONEY

TO HAVE A POLO FIELD
AT THEIR HOUSE,

THEY'RE DOING PRETTY WELL
FOR THEMSELVES.

BUT IF I HAD ALL THE MONEY
IN THE WORLD,

I WOULD HAVE A WATER SLIDE
FROM MY BEDROOM INTO MY POOL.

- WHO ELSE YOU HAVE
COMING OVER HERE TODAY, ANYONE?

- NAH, NAH, A BUDDY OF MINE
COULDN'T MAKE IT.

BUT CRAIG'S HERE.

- COOL.
- YEAH.

- GOT MY FRIEND JENNA,
WHO YOU'RE GONNA LOVE.

SHE'S WILD.
SHE'S GREAT.

- GOOD.

- SHE HAS A MOHAWK?
- THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME.

- I THINK THAT'S SWEET.
- [laughs]

- DRIVING TO A GOAL...

- OH, MY GOD.
- HI, WHITNEY.

- OH, MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT.

- YOU LOOK GREAT.

- HEY, BABY DOLL.

- THANKS FOR INVITING ME.
- [laughs]

HOW ARE YOU?
- GOOD.

- LOOK AT YOU.

- HI, CAMERAN.

- [giggles]

- WHEN A NEW GIRL KIND OF WALKS
INTO OUR GROUP OF GUYS,

YOU CAN READ EACH OTHER'S FACES.

YOU CAN TELL
IF SOMEONE'S INTERESTED.

WHOEVER JENNA
SHOWS INTEREST IN FIRST,

YOU LET HIM HAVE
A FULL SWING AT IT.

I MEAN, THAT'S BRO CODE 101.

- HI.
- HI. CRAIG.

- HI, I'M SHEP.
- HI. JENNA.

- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

I LIKE YOUR BLUE GLASSES.

- YOU DO?
- IS THIS YOUR FRIEND, WHITNEY?

- MINE ARE GOGGLES.
- IS THIS THE FRIEND?

- CRAIG.
- HELLO.

- HI. JENNA.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- I'M CRAIG.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.

OH, MY GOD, THEY LOOK
SO GOOD ON YOU, THOUGH.

LOVE IT.
- [laughs]

- SO YOU GOT A STYLE, MAN.

YOU'RE KIND OF OWNING
THE SITUATION RIGHT NOW.

[laughs]

THIS IS YOUR POLO MATCH.

- FINAL SCORE: TEN, NINE.
BROOKLAND HOME WINS.

- I THINK THE MATCH IS OVER.
- [laughs]

OBVIOUSLY, YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT.

- HOW DID YOU LIKE THE GAME?

- NICE MATCH, THOMAS.

- IT'S TIME FOR DINNER.
LET'S GO EAT.

- OH, MY GOD,
THERE'S A ZEBRA ON THE FLOOR.

THAT'S AWESOME.

- YEAH, MY DECORATOR INSISTED
ON THAT.

- I'M JUST EXCITED FOR...

- FOR DINNER,
'CAUSE YOU'RE HUNGRY?

- YEAH.
- WHAT YOU SERVING, BIG GUY?

- WE'VE GOT SAUSAGE,

SKIRT STEAK...

- SO YOU GOT SAUSAGE AND SKIRT?
[laughter]

- YEAH, AND SKIRT, HEY.

CAN'T BEAT THAT.

I LIKE TO ENTERTAIN.
I LIKE TO HOST.

IF IT'S A SIT-DOWN PARTY,
YOU KNOW,

I HIRE A REALLY GOOD
CATERING COMPANY

SO THAT I CAN JUST RELAX
WITH MY FRIENDS

AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT ALL THOSE DETAILS.

- OKAY.
THANKS SO MUCH.

- Y'ALL READY?
I SURE AM.

- YOU GUYS HUNGRY?
LET'S DO IT.

HOLD ON.
I'MA RING THE DINNER BELL.

[bell ringing]

- OH, MAN.

HE'S GOT A DINNER BELL.

- DINNER IS SERVED, EVERYBODY.

- EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL.
- ALL RIGHT, SHALL WE?

- YES.

- I GOT A FEW WORDS I WANT
TO LAY ON YOU FINE FOLKS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRESENCE
HERE AT THIS TABLE.

AND LET'S RAISE OUR GLASSES.
- WHY NOT?

- HERE'S TO POLO.

all: POLO!

- YOU PLAYED WELL.
- YEAH.

[laughter]

- CAN YOU HAND ME
THAT BOTTLE OF WINE, PLEASE?

- GUYS, I HAVE A GONE
WITH THE WIND QUESTION FOR YOU.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD BE
A BETTER MATCH FOR THOMAS:

A SCARLETT OR A MELANIE?

- WHO'S MELANIE?

- MELANIE WAS
ASHLEY WILKES' WIFE.

WELL, SCARLETT WAS THE BOLD.

SHE WENT AFTER WHAT SHE WANTED.

SHE HAD CHUTZPAH.

SHE WASN'T--

- RAN THROUGH HUSBANDS
LIKE WATER, YEAH.

- MELANIE WAS MORE
THE RESERVED...

- WHY JUST CHOOSE ONE?

[laughter]

- BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS,

WOULD YOU WANT A RHETT
OR AN ASHLEY?

- A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH,
I THINK, IS GOOD.

- A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH.

- THERE HAS TO BE A BALANCE.
- COME ON, HE'S A WUSSY.

[laughter]

WHY WOULD SCARLETT GO
FOR THAT WIMP?

- MAYBE 'CAUSE HE WAS STABLE.

- YEAH, BUT HE STILL DIDN'T GO
FOR WHAT HE WANTED.

- WHEN THE WORLD IS TURNED
UPSIDE DOWN,

THE PEOPLE LIKE ASHLEY WILKES
GO STRAIGHT TO THE BOTTOM, OKAY?

AND PEOPLE LIKE RHETT BUTLER,

PEOPLE LIKE THIS GUY
OR LIKE ME,

WE GO STRAIGHT TO THE TOP.

- OHH.

- NOW, WHO DO YOU WANT?

- I'M GLAD ON THE RIGHT SIDE
OF THAT ONE.

[laughter]

- YOU GOT LUCKY.
YOU GOT LUCKY THERE.

- I'M DEFINITELY A RHETT.

INNIT THAT OBVIOUS?

[indistinct conversations]

- YEAH.
- YOU DO?

- YEAH.
IS THAT COOL?

- SHEP'S LOOKING AT JENNA
AND THINKING

DOUBLE-Ds, LACTATION,
MOTORBOATING...

[sputtering]

- YOU CAN'T.

- I WOULD NEVER TOUCH YOU
IN MY LIFE.

EVER.

I FEEL LIKE THE MEN
IN CHARLESTON

JUST DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH GAME.

WHAT SHEP'S NOT GETTING
RIGHT NOW IS,

I'M NOT PLAYING HARD TO GET;

I'M JUST NOT INTERESTED.

- WITH YOU.

[laughter]

- I WILL.
- OKAY, SO MOVE.

[laughter]

- I WAS ACTUALLY TALKING
TO MY MOM THE OTHER DAY,

AND SHE WAS ASKING
ABOUT HOW I KNEW YOU,

AND I DON'T KNOW.

LIKE, SHE WAS QUESTIONING--

AND THIS MAY BE TOO PERSONAL...

- UH-OH.

- TELL ME--TELL ME IF I'M
OVERSTEPPING MY BOUNDARIES,

BUT, LIKE, DO YOU--
DO YOU EVER FEEL THAT, LIKE,

THE PERCEPTION OF YOU
IN CHARLESTON IS...

- NEGATIVE?
- NEGATIVE?

[laughter]

- IT NEVER REALLY BOTHERED ME,

BECAUSE I JUST ALWAYS KNEW THAT
I'D BEEN BLESSED REGARDLESS.

IT WAS JUST SOMETHING I DID
IN MY PERSONAL LIFE.

AND, YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T HAVE
A PROBLEM WITH COCAINE.

I--WHAT I REALIZED LATER WAS,

I JUST REALLY LIKED THE SMELL
OF IT.

IT'S JUST A JOKE.

[laughter]

- I LOVE THOMAS.

HE DOESN'T [bleep] THINK.

IF HE WANTS TO RESUSCITATE
HIS POLITICAL CAREER,

HE CANNOT MAKE JOKES
ABOUT COCAINE OR TALK ABOUT IT,

PERIOD.

- COMING UP...

- WHAT BROUGHT YOU DOWN
WAS YOUR PLAYBOY PAST,

AND YOU NEED TO GET BEYOND THAT.

- [bleep] PUBLIC PERCEPTION.

- HEY, LET'S GO SKINNY-DIPPING!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THIS IS SO AWESOME.
- WE REALLY GONNA DO THIS?

- [bleep] YEAH,
WE'RE GONNA DO IT.

- WHOO!

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
COME ON.

I DON'T HAVE
ANY UNDERWEAR ON, SO...

NOW, YOU'RE--LADIES FIRST.

I'M A GENTLEMAN.
I'M A SOUTHERN GENTLEMAN HERE.

- I'M NOT DOING IT ALONE.
OH!

- I'M [bleep] GOING IN, DAMN IT.

- ONE, TWO, THREE.

- [squeals]

- READY?
all: ONE, TWO, THREE.

[all scream]

- [yelps]

[cheers and laughter]

- I GOT TO GET YOU GUYS TOWELS.

- BYE, Y'ALL.

BYE NOW.

WHITNEY, GET OUT OF HERE!

- THE [bleep]?
ARE YOU DRESSED?

THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE.

- IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME.

- YOU GOT A MINUTE?
- YEAH, LET'S TALK.

- COME HERE, COME HERE.

- [grunts]

- IT WAS FUN TONIGHT.
- THANKS.

NOW, WHY DIDN'T YOU JUMP
IN THE WATER WITH US?

WE WERE HAVING FUN OUT THERE.
IT WAS NICE AND WARM.

- LOOK, IF YOU'RE GONNA GET
MORE SERIOUS NOW

IN YOUR POLITICAL LIFE
PERHAPS AGAIN,

YOU NEED TO GET BEYOND
AND DISAVOW YOUR PLAYBOY PAST.

YOU NEED TO BE MORE SERIOUS--

- ARE YOU SUGGESTING
THAT I SHOULD EFFECT

A MORE HUMBLE PERSONA?

- YES.

- YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND.

I TAKE THAT IN THE ESSENCE
FROM WHICH IT'S EMANATING--

YOU KNOW, A PLACE OF LOVE
AND WANTING TO--

- ABSOLUTELY.

- BUT I CAN'T BE A HYPOCRITE.

I'M GONNA BE WHO I AM.

IF I WANT TO JUMP OUT THERE
WITH SOME CUTE GIRLS AND SWIM,

I WILL DO IT.

- WHAT BROUGHT YOU DOWN

WAS YOUR PLAYBOY PAST,

AND, BRO, NO MORE COKE JOKES,
PLEASE.

I CARE FOR THOMAS.

I DON'T WANT PEOPLE
TO PERCEIVE HIM

AS A COKE HEAD
OR STILL DOING COCAINE.

IT'S GONNA [bleep] UP
HIS REPUTATION AND HIS CAREER.

YOU NEED TO GET BEYOND THAT
AND SHOW YOU'RE SERIOUS.

MORE LIKE, "HEY, I HAD MY FUN.

I DID SOME--
I WAS A BIT RECKLESS."

- I DON'T THINK I WAS.
I THINK THESE LAWS ARE RECKLESS.

- BUT YOU--FOR PUBLIC IMAGE,
YOU, LIKE, WITH THE GIRLS,

IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE
AN [bleep].

IT--I'M SORRY, IT DOES.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHITNEY,

'CAUSE HE WEARS
ALL THESE CRAZY CLOTHES.

HE THROWS ALL
THESE CRAZY PARTIES.

BUT HE'S ACTUALLY
VERY CONSERVATIVE.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY?
[bleep] PUBLIC PERCEPTION.

- THAT'S THE WRONG IMAGE
YOU WANT TO PORTRAY.

- TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE,

AND AS NIGHT FOLLOWS DAY,

THOU CANST BE FALSE
TO ANOTHER MAN.

THAT'S MACBETH.

AND THEN--AND THIS ABOVE ALL--

- IN THESE POLITICAL--

- AND THIS ABOVE ALL
TO THINE OWN SELF TO BE TRUE,

AND AS NIGHT FOLLOWS DAY,

THOU CANST BE FALSE
TO ANOTHER MAN.

- MACBETH WOULD NEVER
BE ELECTED TODAY

WITH THAT [bleep] ADVICE, SO...

- WELL, THEN,
I WILL NOT BE ELECTED.

ON THE NEXT EPISODE
OF SOUTHERN CHARM...

YOU LOOK LIKE
YOU JUST STEPPED OUT

OF A RALPH LAUREN CATALOG.

- [laughs]

- DANNI--SHE'S SOPHISTICATED,
CULTIVATED.

SHE KNOWS HOW TO RIDE.

YOU'RE VERY GOOD FOR A BEGINNER.

THIS IS SOMEBODY THAT I COULD
SEE AS A FUTURE WIFE OF MINE.

- SHEP AND I HAVE DECIDED
TO OPEN A RESTAURANT.

- I THINK THAT'S A LITTLE OUT
OF YOUR REALM.

- I LIKE THE IDEA
OF A MEXICAN RESTAURANT.

- I DON'T LIKE HER.

- ARE YOU GONNA TEACH ME
HOW TO SURF?

- YEAH, I'D LOVE TO.

- DO YOU THINK
KATHRYN LIKES SHEP?

- I THOUGHT KATHRYN LIKED YOU.

- SHEP THREW OUT
HIS BRO CODE TODAY.

THAT'S NOT COOL.

SHEP STARTED CREEPING ON HER.

- WHY DON'T YOU JUST CLOCK HIM
IN THE FACE?

JUST BAM!
- JUST SUCKER PUNCH.

- YOU'RE SAYING I'M STEPPING
ALL OVER YOUR GAME?

- YOU HOOKED UP WITH HER
LAST NIGHT.

- SO WHAT?

- DUMB [bleep].

- [bleep] OFF.