All language subtitles for In.Bruges.2008.1080p.BluRay.x264.AC3-ETRG.English

RAY: Alter 1' killed them,
1' dropped the gun in the Thames,

washed the residue 0h' me hands in the
bathroom of a Burger King,

and walked home
to await instructions.

Shortly thereafter,
the instructions came through.

“Get the fuck out of London,
youse dumb fucks.

“Get to Bruges. ”

I didn't even know
where Bruges fucking was.

It's in Belgium.

RAY: Bruges is a shithole.

KEN". Bruges is
not a shithole.

Bruges is a shithole.

Ray, we've only
just got off the fucking train.

Could we reserve judgment
on Bruges until we've seen the fucking place?

I know it's gonna be
a shithole.

(EXHALES)

(SOITLY) Shithole.

(BELL DINGS)

I think you have a couple of rooms booked
under Cranham and Blakely?

Yes. No, we have
one room booked.

One twin room.
Booked for two weeks.

Two weeks!

Do you have
another room?

No, I'm afraid
we're fully booked.

With Christmas,
everywhere is fully booked.

Okay.

(SIGHS)

It's very pretty-

I'm not being funny,
we can't stay here.

We've got to stay here
until he rings.

Well, what if he doesn't ring
for two weeks?

Then we stay here
for two weeks.

For two weeks?
In fucking Bruges? In a room like this?

With you? No way!

Ray, I really don't
like to say this...

You really don't
like to say what?

Well... You know?

Fucking bring that up.

Do you think
this is good?

Do I think what's good?

You know,
going round in a boat, looking at stuff.

Yes, I do.

It's called “sightseeing”.

Oh, look at that.

It's a former hospital.
From the 1100s.

Bruges is the most
well-preserved medieval town

in the whole of
Belgium, apparently.

Coming up?
What's up there?

The view.

The view of what? The view of down here?
I can see that from down here.

Ray, you're about
the worst tourist in the whole world.

Ken, I grew up in Dublin.
I love Dublin.

If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded,
Bruges might impress me.

But I didn't,
so it doesn't.

(HUMMING)

Trying to get rid
of me coins.

3, 3.50, 4,

4.10, 4.20, 4.30,
4.40, 4.50, 4.60,

4.70,

4.80,

4.90.

Will you take 4.90?

Entry is 5 euro.

Come on, man,
it's only 10 cents.

Entry is 5 euro.

(CASH REGISTER DINGS)

Happy in your work?

Very happy-

(SIGHS)

I like it here.

(IMITATES GUN FIRING)

MAN: Been to the top
of the tower?

Yeah. Yeah, it's rubbish.

It is? The guidebook says
it's a “must-see”.

Well, you lot
ain't going up there.

Pardon me? Why?

I mean, it's all windy stairs.
I'm not being funny.

What exactly are you
trying to say?

What exactly
am I trying to say?

Youse are a bunch
of fucking elephants!

Right, you...

Come on, leave it, fatty.

(PANTING)

You know, you're just
the rudest man. The rudest man!

What's all that about?

They're not going up there.

HEY, GUYS,
I wouldn't go up there. It's really narrow.

Screw you, motherfucker!

Americans, isn't it?

Now, this is more like it.
Proper holidays.

One gay beer
for my gay friend,

and one normal beer for me,
because I am normal.

(SIGHS)

This is the life.

We're not staying here
getting pissed.

We are quietly sightseeing,
like he says,

and awaiting his call
to see what we do next.

This is my vote
on what we should do.

We give it another day,
two days, max.

Then we check the papers again, and if
there's still nothing in them,

we phone him and say,
“Harry, thank you for the trip to Bruges,

“it's been very nice,
all the old buildings and that,

“but we're coming back to London now, and hide
out in a proper country,

“where it isn't all just
fucking chocolates."

My vote would be
we quietly sightsee, like he says,

and await his call
to see what we do next.

You don't even know
we're here hiding out.

What are you talking about?

You don't even know
we're not here on a job.

- What, on a job?
- Yeah.

- Here in Bruges?
- Yeah.

- Here in Bruges, on a job?
- Yeah.

Why? What did he
actually say?

He didn't actually
say anything.

- Then why do you think it might be?
- I don't think anything.

But it's a bit fucking
over-elaborate, isn't it?

- “Go take him to hide out.”
- “Go take him to hide out where?”

“Go take him to hide out
in fucking Bruges.”

You can hide out
in Croydon.

Hmm.

Or Coventry.

Hmm.

It is a bit
over-elaborate.

Hmm.

But we haven't
got any guns.

Harry can get guns anywhere.

(BELL TOLLING)

He's not gonna ring tonight.

(SIGHS)

He's not gonna ring tonight.

Let's go out.

- Go out where?
- The pub.

No!

Let's go out
and have a look at some of the...

All the old medieval
buildings and that.

Because I bet they look
even better at night, all lit up.

Yes!

That there is called
the Gruuthuse Museum.

They all have
funny names, don't they?

Yes, Flemish.

In here it says, “The Belgians twice sheltered
fugitive English Kings

“from being murdered,
1471 and 1651.”

I used to hate history,
didn't you?

It's all just a load of stuff
that's already happened.

What are they
doing over there?

They're filming something.
They're filming midgets!

Ray!

MAN: So, on this scene, you're supposed to walk
like a little, tiny mouse, yeah?

Okay? Great.

Ray, come on, let's go.

My arse, “Let's go”.
They're filming midgets.

Oh, my God!
Look at that girl.

She's gorgeous!

Ray, we're going
right now.

Fuck off, are we!

This is the best bit of Bruges so far.
You and your buildings.

Hello.

- Do you speak English?
- No.

Yes, you do.
Everybody does.

What are you
filming midgets for?

It's a Dutch movie.
It's a dream sequence.

It's a pastiche of Nicholas Roeg's
Don't Look Now.

Not a pastiche, but a...

A “homage” is too strong.
A “nod of the head”?

Wow, your English
is very good.

A lot of midgets
tend to kill themselves.

A disproportionate amount.

Hervé Villechaize,
off of Fantasy Island.

I think somebody
off The Time Bandits.

I suppose they must
get really sad about, like,

being really
little and that.

People looking at them
and laughing at them.

Calling them names.
You know, “shortarse”.

There's another famous
midget I'm missing, but I can't remember.

It's not the R2-D2 man.
No, he's still going.

I hope your midget doesn't kill himself.
Your dream sequence will be fucked.

He doesn't like being called a midget.
He prefers “dwarf”.

Well, this is
exactly my point!

People go around calling you a midget when you
want to be called a dwarf.

Of course you're
gonna blow your head off!

- My name's Ray. What's yours?
- Chloe.

How did you get past
the security man?

Getting past security men,
it's sort of my job.

You're a shoplifter?

(CHUCKLES) No,
not a shoplifter.

It's a good joke, though.

No.

I'll tell you what I am
at dinner tomorrow night.

(CHUCKLING)

Fuck.

How fucking cool.

Mr. Blakely?

Yes. No, Mr. Cranham.
No. Yes. Mr. Blakely. Yes.

You have a message.

Shit!

HARRY". Number one, why aren't you in when I
fucking told you to be in?

Number two, why doesn't
this hotel have phones with fucking voice-mail

and not I have to leave
messages with the fucking receptionist?

Number three, you better fucking be in tomorrow
night when I fucking call again

or there'II be fucking Hell to pay, I'm fucking
telling you. Harry.

(DOOR LOCK TURNING)

Would you turn
the fucking light off!

Sorry, Ken.

Keep the fucking
noise down!

Someone's in a mood.

(SOITLY) You'll
never guess what.

Will you shut your
fucking mouth, please, and go to sleep?

Oh, sorry.

Except I've gotta take me
contact lenses out.

Altogether,

I had

five pints of beer
and six bottles.

No. Six pints of beer
and seven bottles.

And you know what?
I'm not even pissed!

You'll never guess what, Ken.

- Ken, you'll never guess what.
- What?

Got a date for
tomorrow night.

I'm very happy for you.

With a girl.

Can you turn
the light off, please?

Only been in Bruges one day,
got a date with a girl in the film business,

the Belgian film business.

They're doing a film
about a midget.

Miss?

Marie?

Sorry about the message
last night. The man who left it is a bit of a...

Well, he's a bit of a...

Cock?

Yes. He's a bit of a cock.

Morning.

Harry called last night.

We missed him.

Jeez, he swears a lot,
doesn't he?

We're staying in tonight.
Whatever happens.

Hmm.

Except...

Hmm.
Hmm.

Except “hmm" what?

Except only one of us
needs to stay in, really.

Uh-huh.

And which one of us
would that be, now, Ray?

I thought you
didn't like Bruges.

I don't like Bruges,
it's a shithole.

But I did already say
I had a date with a Belgian lady

in the Belgian film business,
which I did already say about before.

Just don't get into
any fucking trouble.

We're keeping a low profile.

And this morning,
and this afternoon,

we are doing
what I want to do.

- Got it?
- Of course.

Which, I presume,
will involve culture.

Oh, we shall strike a balance
between culture and fun.

Somehow I believe, Ken,
that the balance shall tip in the favor of culture.

Like a big, fat,
fucking retarded, fucking black girl

on a seesaw, opposite

a dwarf.

(DRAGGING FEET)

(SOITLY) Ray, did we
or did we not agree

that if I let you
go on your date tonight,

we'd do the things
I wanted to do today?

We are doing the things
that you wanted to do today.

And that we'd do them
without you throwing a fucking moody,

like some 5-year-old
who's dropped all his sweets?

I didn't agree to that.

I'll cheer up.
I'll cheer up.

Up there,
the top altar, is a phial

brought back by a Flemish knight from the
Crusades in the Holy Land.

And that phial,
do you know what it's said to contain?

No, what's it
said to contain?

It's said to contain
some drops of Jesus Christ's blood.

Yeah, that's how this church got its name.
Basilica of the Holy Blood.

Yeah. Yeah.

And this blood, right,
though it's dried blood,

at different times over many years, they say
it turned back into liquid.

Turned back into liquid
from dried blood.

At various times of great

StFGSS.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

So, yeah, I'm gonna go up
in the queue and touch it, which is what you do.

- Yeah?
- Yeah. You coming?

Do I have to?

- Do you have to?
- Of course you don't have to.

It's Jesus' fucking blood,
isn't it? Of course you don't fucking have to!

Of course you don't
fucking have to!

You little fucking cunt.

(SIGHS)

RAY: Murder, Father.

PRIEST: Why did you
murder someone, Raymond?

For money, Father.

For money?

You murdered
someone for money?

Yes, Father.

Not out of anger, not out of nothing.
For money.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Who did you murder
for money, Raymond?

You, Father.

Tm sorry?

I said you, Father.
What, are you deaf?

Harry Waters says hello.

The little boy.

RAY: I quite like this one.

All the rest were rubbish by spastics,
but this one's quite good.

What's that
all about, then?

- It's Judgment Day, you know?
- Oh, yeah.

What's that then?

Well, it's, you know,
the final day on Earth.

When mankind will be judged for all the crimes
they've committed and that.

And see who gets into Heaven
and who gets into Hell and all that?

Yeah.

And what's the other place?

Purgatory.

Pu rgatOFY?

Purgatory's kind of like
the in-betweeny one.

You weren't really shit,
but you weren't all that great, either.

Like Tottenham.

Do you believe
in all that stuff, Ken?

About Tottenham?

The Last Judgment
and the afterlife.

Guilt and sins and

Hell and all that?

Um...

Well...

KEN: I don't know, Ray.
I don't know what I believe.

The things you're taught as a child, they never
really leave you, do they?

So, like,
I believe in trying to lead a good life.

Like, if there's an old lady,
carrying her shopping home,

I don't try and help her carry her shopping,
I don't go that far,

but I'll certainly hold the door open for her and
that, and let her go out before me.

Yeah. And anyway,
if you tried to help her carry her shopping,

she'd probably think
you were just trying to nick her shopping.

Exactly.
This is the world we live in today.

At the same time
as trying to lead a good life,

I have to reconcile myself
with the fact that, yes, I have killed people.

Not many people.
Most of them were not very nice people.

Apart from one person.

Who's that?

This fellow,
Danny Aliband's brother.

He was just trying to protect his brother.
Like you or I would.

He was just a lollipop man.

He came at me with a bottle.
What are you gonna do?

I shot him down.

Hmm.

In my book, though, sorry, someone comes
at you with a bottle,

that is a deadly weapon,
he's gotta take the consequences.

I know that in my heart.

I also know that he was just trying to protect
his brother, you know?

I know. But a bottle,
that can kill you.

It's a case of
it's you or him.

If he'd come at you
with his bare hands, that'd be different.

That wouldn't
have been fair.

Well, technically,
your bare hands can kill somebody, too.

They can be deadly weapons, too. I mean,
what if he knew karate, say?

You said he was
a lollipop man.

He was a lollipop man.

What's a lollipop man doing
knowing fucking karate?

I'm just saying.

- How old was he?
- About 50.

What's a 50-year-old
lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate?

What was he,
a Chinese lollipop man?

Jesus, Ken,
I'm trying to talk about...

I know what you're
trying to talk about.

I killed a little boy.
You keep bringing up fucking lollipop men!

You didn't mean
to kill a little boy.

I know I didn't mean to.

But because of the choices
I made and the course that I put into action,

a little boy
isn't here anymore.

And he'll never
be here again.

I mean here in the world,
not here in Belgium.

Well, he'll never be
here in Belgium, either, will he?

I mean, he might have
wanted to come here when he got older.

I don't know why.

(SIGHS)

And that's all because of me.

He's dead because of me.

And I'm trying to...

I'm trying to get me head around it,
but I can't.

I will always have
killed that little boy.

That ain't ever
going away. Ever.

Unless...

Maybe I go away.

Don't even think like that.

(EXHALES)

You look good.

What's it matter anyway?

(PEOPLE CHATFERING)

So, what do you do, Raymond?

I shoot people for money.

(SCOFFS)

What kinds of people?

Priests. Children.
You know, the usual.

Is there a lot of money
to be made in that line of business?

There is in priests.
There isn't in children.

So what is it
you do, Chloe?

I sell cocaine and heroin
to Belgian film crews.

Do you?

Do I look like I do?

You do, actually.

(CHUCKLING)

Do I look like
I shoot people?

No.

Just children.

Mmm-hmm.

I saw your midget today.
Little prick didn't even say hello.

Well, he's on
a lot of ketamine.

What's that?

Horse tranquilizer.

A horse tranquilizer?

- Where'd he get that?
- I sold it to him.

You can't sell
horse tranquilizers to a midget!

This movie,
I think it's gonna be a very good one.

There's never been
a classic movie made in Bruges until now.

Of course there hasn't,
it's a shithole.

Bruges is my hometown, Ray.

Well, it's still a shithole.

It's not a shithole.

What? Even midgets have to
take drugs to stick it.

Okay.

So, you've insulted
my hometown.

You're doing
very well, Raymond.

Why don't you tell me
some Belgian jokes while you're at it?

I don't know
any Belgian jokes.

And if I did,
I think I'd have the good sense not to...

Hey, hang on. Is Belgium where there were all
those child abuse murders lately?

Then I do know
a Belgian joke.

What's Belgium famous for?

Chocolates and child abuse.

And they only invented
the chocolates to get to the kids.

What?

One of the girls
they murdered was a friend of mine.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry, Chloe.

One of the girls
they murdered wasn't a friend of mine.

I just wanted to
make you feel bad.

And it worked.
Quite well.

Fucking unbelievable.

What's fucking
unbelievable?

Are you talking to me?

(SOITLY) He pauses,
even though he should just hit the cunt.

And he repeats.

Yes, I am talking to you.
What's fucking unbelievable?

Well, I'll tell you what's
fucking unbelievable, shall I?

Blowing cigarette smoke
straight into myself and my girlfriend's face.

That's fucking unbelievable!

- This is the smoking section.
- I don't care if it's the smoking section.

All right?
She directed it right in my face, man.

I don't wanna die just because of your fucking
arrogance. - Uh-huh.

Isn't that what the
Vietnamese used to say?

Vietnamese? What are you
talking about, the Vietnamese?

That statement makes
no fucking sense at all.

- Yes it does.
- The Vietnamese!

Well, saying it over and over ain't gonna make
any more sense out of it.

How does the Vietnamese
have any relevance whatsoever

to myself and my girlfriend
having to breathe

your friend's
cigarette smoke?

Tell me how saying...

That's for John Lennon,
you Yankee fucking cunt!

A bottle? No, don't bother.

(GROANS)

We're leaving.

I don't hit women!
I would never hit a woman, Chloe!

I'd hit a woman
who was trying to hit me with a bottle!

That's different.
That's self-defense, isn't it?

Or a woman
who could do karate.

I'd never hit a woman generally, Chloe.
Don't think that.

God, you're prettY-

I have to make a call.

Oh, no.

You've gone off me, now, haven't you? Just
because I hit that fucking cow.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(PHONE RINGING)

- Hello?
- HARRY: Where the fuck were you yesterday?

We just popped out for some dinner, Harry. We
only popped out for half an hour.

Yeah? What'd you have?

- For dinner?
- Yeah.

Pizza, at Pizza Hut.

Was it nice?

Yeah, it was all right.
I don't know. It was Pizza Hut.

The same as in England.

Well, that's globalization,
isn't it? Is Ray there with you?

He's in the toilet.

- Can he hear?
- No.

What's he doing?

- What do you mean?
- Is he doing a wee or a poo?

I don't know, Harry,
the door's closed.

Send him out on an errand for half an hour, but
don't make it sound suspicious.

(SIGHS)

Ray? Why don't you go out down to the pub
for half an hour?

Yeah, yeah, I know
I said you couldn't,

but might as well
enjoy ourselves, eh?

No, I don't know if they've got bowling anywhere.
Could have a look.

Yeah, see you.

Yeah. He's gone.

What'd you say to him?

I said, “Why don't you go have a drink, you say
you've been cooped up?"

- What did he say?
- Said, yeah, he would.

And he might go have a look to see if there's
a bowling alley around.

Was he just having a wee?

Yeah, I think so.
I assume so.

Sure he didn't mind?

No, he was glad
to get out.

He's definitely gone?

Yeah, yeah,
he slammed the door.

That don't mean he's gone.
Go check outside the door.

Harry, he's definitely gone.

You realize there are no
bowling alleys in Bruges?

I realize that, Harry.
The boy wanted to have a look anyway.

What are they gonna have,
a medieval fucking bowling alley?

As I say, I think
he was just glad to get out and about.

So, is he having a nice time, seeing
all the canals and that?

I had a lovely time
when I was there.

All the canals and the
old buildings and that.

When were you here?

When I was seven.
Last happy holiday I fucking had.

- Have you been on a canal trip, yet?
- Yeah.

Have you been down,
like, all the old cobbled streets and that?

Yeah.

- It's like a fairytale, isn't it, that place?
- Yeah.

- With the churches and that. They're Gothic.
- Yeah.

- Is it Gothic?
- Yea h .

So he's having
a really nice time?

Well, I'm having
a really nice time.

I'm not sure if it's
really his cup of tea.

What?

You know, I'm not sure
if it's really his thing.

What do you mean,
“It's not really his thing”?

What's that supposed to mean,
“It's not really his thing”?

What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?

Nothing, Harry.

It's a fairytale
fucking town, isn't it?

How can a fairytale town
not be somebody? fucking thing?

How can all those canals and bridges and
cobbled streets and those churches,

all that beautiful
fucking fairytale stuff,

how can that not be
somebody's fucking thing, eh?

What I think
I meant to say was...

- ls the swan still there?
- Yeah, the swan's...

How can fucking swans not fucking be
somebody's fucking thing, eh?

How can that be?

What I think
I meant to say was,

when he first arrived,
he wasn't quite sure about it.

You know, there's that big, dual carriageway
when you get off the train?

It mightn't have been
here when you were here last, Harry.

Well, as soon as he got into,
like, the old town proper,

and he saw the canals and the bridges and,
you know, the swans and that,

well, he just
fucking loved it then.

Couldn't get enough of it,
the medieval part of town.

It was just that initial, dual carriageway thing sort
of put him off for a second.

Don't know if I remember
a dual carriageway.

Must be recent.

Hasn't spoilt it, has it?

No, no, no,
it's just that initial thing.

And you know what?

As we were walking
through the streets,

there was this sort of
freezing fog hanging over everything,

and it made it
look almost like a fairytale or something.

And he turned to me,
do you know what he said?

What'd he say?

He said, “Ken, I know
I'm awake, but I feel like I'm in a dream."

Yeah? He said that?

Yeah.

Meaning, like,
in a good dream?

Yeah. Of course,
like in a good dream.

Oh, good. I'm glad
he likes it there.

I'm glad we were able
to give him something.

Something good and happy.
Because he wash 't a bad kio} was he?

Huh?

He wasn't a bad kid,
was he?

Listen, take down
this address. Raamstraat 17.

That's “Raam”, like “Ram”,
but with an extra “a”.

Raamstraat 17.

You got that?

Yes, Raamstraat 17.

Good. There'll be a man there tomorrow
morning at 9:00, his name's Yuri.

- Yufl.
- He'll give you the gun.

Ring me on the public phone
at Jimmy Driscoll's

about 3:00 or 4:00 tomorrow,
after it's done.

After what's done?

Are you being thick?

- No.
- Listen, I like Ray.

He was a good bloke,
but when it all comes down to it; you know,

he blew the head 017a little fucking kid.
And you brought him in, Ken.

So if the buck don't stop with him,
where does it stop?

Ken?

If the buck don't stop with him,
where does it stop?

It stops with me, Harry.
That's an easy one.

Look, don't get shirty, Ken.

Listen, I'm just glad that I was able to do
something for the boy before he went.

Do what for the boy?

You know, have him
get to see Bruges.

I'd like to go to see
Bruges again before I die.

What was it he said
again about... Yeah, “It's like a dream”.

“I know I'm awake,
but I feel like I'm in a dream."

Yeah.

Give me a call
when he's dead.

(GASPS)

That's my fucking girlfriend,
you asshole.

Eirik, what are you doing?

Where are you from, fucker?

Ireland, originally.

And you think it's okay
to come over to Belgium

and fuck another man's girl?

Look, I didn't know she had a boyfriend,
all right?

And I haven't fucked her, anyway. Ask her.
I'd only put me hand on it.

Eirik, put the gun down!

Get down on your knees
and open your mouth.

Don't start being silly.

Get down on your...

Exactly at what point was it that all skinheads
suddenly became poofs?

Used to be,
you were a skinhead,

you just went around
beating up Pakistani 12-year-olds.

Now it seems a prerequisite
to be a fucking bum-boy!

That's not gonna
help you, man.

Ray, there's only
blanks in that gun.

Eirik, don't!

Now who's the
fucking bum-boy?

You, you fucking bum-boy!

(GROANING)

Chloe, what exactly
is going on here?

I can't see!
I can't see!

Of course you can't fucking see! I just shot a
blank in your fucking eyes!

- Is this fella your boyfriend?
- No. I mean, he used to be.

Well, what's he doing here?

We... We rob tourists,
sometimes.

I fucking knew
it was too good to be true!

I knew you'd have never
shagged me, normally.

No! That's not true, I...

I called it off tonight.
I told him not to come tonight.

Why did you come tonight?

EIRIK: Chloe,
I can't see, I swear it!

Stop whingeing
like a big gay baby.

I haven't had
a shag in months!

I can't see out of this eye,
Chloe! I have to go to the hospital!

I'll drive you.

Great! Now the whole
night's ruined!

No!

You can stay if you want.
I just don't know how long I'll be.

I just knew someone like you
would never like someone like me.

- I just knew.
- What do you mean, someone like me?

You know, someone nice.

Call me. Please.

EIRIK: Chloe!

Cha-ching!

(MUMBLES)

Have you got some
sort of problem?

No, no problem.

Four beers in 20 minutes.
No problem.

Fuck off.

JIMMY: Beer and a red wine.

I'll be back.

How's the movie going?

It's a jumped-up
Eurotrash piece of rip-off fucking bullshit.

Like, in a bad way?

Your girlfriend's
very pretty.

She ain't my girlfriend.
She's a prostitute I just picked up.

Didn't know there were
any prostitutes in Bruges.

You just have to look
in the right places.

Brothels are good.

Well, you've picked up
a very pretty prostitute.

Thank you.

You from the States?

Yeah.

But don't hold it
against me.

I'll try not to.

Just try not to say
anything too loud or crass.

Hey-ho. Drowning
your sorrows, huh?

What sorrows?
You know, being a sad, old, ugly little man.

One gay beer, please.

How'd your date go?

My date involved
two instances of extreme violence.

One instance of her hand
on my cock and my finger up her thing,

which lasted all too briefly.
Isn't that always the way?

One instance of me stealing five grams of
her very-high-quality cocaine,

and one instance of me
blinding a poofy little skinhead.

So, all in all,
my evening pretty much balanced out fine.

You got five grams of coke?

I've got four grams on me
and one gram in me,

which is why me heart
is going like the clappers,

as if I'm about to
have a heart attack.

So if I collapse any minute now, please
remember to tell the doctors

that it might have something
to do with the coke.

Give us a gram, then.

I thought you were
laying off, because it makes you depressed?

You know what?
Right now, I don't really give a fuck.

Why didn't you wave hello to me today when
I waved hello to you today?

I was on a very strong
horse tranquilizer today.

I wasn't waving
hello to anybody, except maybe to a horse.

Huh? What are you
talking about?

Just horseshit.

You from America?

Yeah. But don't
hold it against me.

Well, that's for me
to decide, isn't it?

Are you from America, too?

No, I'm from Amsterdam.

(SCOFFS) Amsterdam.

Amsterdam is just
a load of bloody prostitutes, isn't it?

Yes. That's why
I came to Bruges.

I thought I'd get
a better price for my pussy here.

Huh?

You two are weird.

Would you like some cocaine?

I've also got some
acid and some ecstasy.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

Hervé Villechaize,
I know, did.

The dwarf off, I think,
The Time Bandits, did.

Lots of midgets...

Dwarves, top themselves.

Hmm. Shitloads.

Would you ever
think about it?

Huh?

Would you ever think about
killing yourself because you're a midget?

Fuck, man!
What kind of question is that?

We're just chatting,
aren't we?

See, Ken, this is
the kind of hotel Harry should have put us in.

A five-star,
with prostitutes in.

You know, sometimes, I think Harry doesn't even
give a shit about us at all.

Has he still not called?

No. Still hasn't called.

No news is good news, eh?

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

RAY: Hmm.

Who's she?

JIMMY: There's gonna be
a war, man.

I can see it.

There's gonna be a war
between the blacks and between the whites.

You ain't even gonna need
a uniform no more.

This ain't gonna be a war
where you pick your side.

Your side's already
picked for you.

And I know whose side I'm fighting on.
I'm fighting with the blacks.

The whites are gonna get
their heads kicked in!

JIMMY: You don't decide
this shit, man.

Well, who are
the half-castes gonna fight with?

The blacks, man.
That's obvious.

But what about
the Pakistanis?

The blacks.
What about...

Think of a hard one.

What about the Vietnamese?

The blacks!

Well, I'm definitely fighting with the blacks
if they've got the Vietnamese.

So, hang on.

Would all of the
white midgets in the world be fighting

against all the black
midgets in the world?

Yeah.

That would make a good film!

You don't know how much shit
I've had to take off of black midgets, man.

That's...

Undeniably true.

See, Jimmy,

my wife was black.

And I loved her very much.

And in 1976,
she was murdered by a white man.

So, where the fuck am I supposed to stand
in all this blood and carnage?

Did they get
the guy who did it?

A friend of mine got him.

Harry Waters got him.

So tell me, Jim, whose side do I fight
on in this wonderful war?

I think you need to
weigh up all your options

and let your
conscience decide, Ken.

Two manky hookers
and a racist dwarf.

I think I'm heading home.

Yeah. I think
I'll come with you.

What's...
Back off, shorty!

You don't know karate.

Don't say you didn't
have it coming.

Don't say you didn't
have it coming.

Shortarse!

Meeting Yuri.

Yes, I'm Yuri.

Mr. Waters said
that might be necessary.

There are a lot of alcoves
in the Koningin Astrid Park.

You use this word,
“alcoves”?

“Alcoves”? Yes. Sometimes.

There are not many people around in these
alcoves in Christmastime.

If I were to murder a man,
I would murder him here.

Are you sure this is
the right word, “alcoves”?

“Alcoves”, yes.
It's kind of like “nooks and crannies”.

“Nooks and crannies”, yes.
Perhaps this would be more accurate.

“Nooks and crannies",
rather than “alcoves". Yeah.

You are going to do it, aren't you? Mr. Waters
will be very disappointed...

Of course I'm going to
fucking do it.

It's what I do.

Your friend was behaving
rather oddly this morning.

Oddly? How?

Well, he asked me about the baby, and if
I wanted a boy or a girl.

I said I didn't mind
as long as it's healthy, of course.

But then he gave me 200 euros
to give to the baby.

I refused, obviously,
but he was quite insistent.

Would you give it
back to him when you see him?

I don't want to appear ungrateful, but it seemed
like all the money he had.

- Do you know where he is now?
- He said he was going to the park.

Sorry, REY-

I'm sorry.

Ray, don't!

Fucking hell!
Where the fuck did you come from?

- I was behind the thing.
- What the fuck are you doing, Ray?

What the fuck
are you doing?

Nothing.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Oh, my God!

- You were gonna kill me.
- No, I wasn't.

You were gonna
kill yourself!

I'm allowed to.

No, you're not!

What?

I'm not allowed to and you are?
How's that fair?

Can we go somewhere
and talk about this, please?

I wasn't gonna go
through with it, Ray.

You fucking looked like
you were gonna go fucking through with it.

Where'd you get that gun?

A friend of Harry's.

Fuck, man.

Let me see it.

Silencer, too.

Nice.

Mine's a bloody girl's gun.

I'm keeping it.
Pardon me?

Give me me gun back.
You're not getting it back.

You're a suicide case.

And you were trying to shoot me
in the fucking head.

You're not getting
that gun back.

A great day this has
turned out to be.

I'm suicidal,
me mate tries to kill me,

me gun gets nicked
and we're still in fucking Bruges.

Listen, I'm gonna give you some money and put
you on a train somewhere.

Back to England?

You can't go back to England, Ray.
You'd be a dead man!

(CRYING) I want
to be a dead man.

Have you been
missing something?

You don't want to be
a dead man, Ray.

I killed a little boy!

Then save the
next little boy.

Just go away somewhere,

get out of this business
and try to do something good.

You're not gonna
help anybody dead.

You're not gonna
bring that boy back.

But you might save
the next one.

What am I gonna be,
a doctor?

You need exams.

Do anything, Ray.
Do anything.

RAY: What a wanker!

He said this whole trip,

this whole being
in Bruges thing,

was just to give you one last, joyful memory
before you died.

In Bruges?

(LAUGHING)

The Bahamas, maybe.

Why fucking Bruges?

I suppose it's cheaper.

(WOMAN ANNOUNCING ON PA)

The rest of the acid
and the ecstasy.

Can I have me gun
back, please?

What am I gonna do, Ken?

- What am I gonna do?
- Just keep moving.

Keep on moving.

Try not to think about it.

Learn a new language, maybe?

Sure, I can
hardly do English.

That's one thing
I like about Europe, though.

You don't have to learn
any of their languages.

Just forget about
home for a while.

See how the land lies
in six years, seven years.

Seven years is not that long.

It's longer than
that boy got.

Me first fucking job.

Great hitman
I turned out to be.

Some people just aren't
cut out for it, Ray.

Are you?

When are you
going back to England?

I'll head back
in a couple of hours or something.

Harry's not gonna be mad at you, is he?
For letting me go?

I'll sort out Harry.

Just tell him I'll have
probably killed meself in a fortnight, anyway.

You won't, will you, Ray?

Harry? It's Ken.

Listen to this noise.

Do you know what that is?

Yeah, I know you know it's a train.
Do you know what train?

Well, it's a train that
Ray just got on, and he's alive and he's well,

and he doesn't know
where he's going and neither do I.

So if you need to
do your worst, do your worst.

You've got the address of the hotel.
I'll be here waiting.

Because I've got to quite
like Bruges, now.

It's like a fucking
fairytale or something.

(PHONE BANGING)

Harry.

Harry!

What?

It's an inanimate
fucking object.

You're an inanimate
fucking object!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Now, you lot be good
for your mummy and Imamoto, okay?

'Cause Daddy's got to
go away for a few days.

Where are you going?

I've got to go to Bruges.

Bruges? Where's that?

It's in Belgium.

Why would anybody
have to go to Belgium?

'Cause I've got to
sort something out.

Is it something
to do with the phone?

It's something
to do with Ken.

It's a matter of honor.

Well, it ain't gonna
be dangerous, is it?

Well, of course it's gonna be dangerous if it's a
matter of fucking honor!

You are bringing
the fellas with you?

Tell me you're bringing
the fellas with you.

Harry.

I'm sorry for calling you
an inanimate object.

I was upset.

(TRAIN BRAKES SCREECHING)

You're Irish?
Yes.

What is your name?

Derek Perlurrl.

You hit the Canadian.

You hit the Canadian.

I “heet" the Canadian?
I don't know what you're talking about.

That's him!
That's the motherfucker.

You hit the Canadian, yeah?

Canadian? Shit.

(HANDCUFFS CLICKING)

- We're taking you back to Bruges.
- Brilliant.

AYE aye.

YURI: Take your pick,
Mr. Waters.

(CHUCKLES) An Uzi?

I'm not from South Central
Los fucking Angeles.

I didn't come here to shoot
20 black 10-year-olds in a fucking drive-by.

I want a normal gun
for a normal person.

I knew he wouldn't
kill the guy.

I could see it in his eyes
when I was telling him about the alcoves.

- About the what?
- The alcoves.

The alcoves in the
Koningin Astrid Park.

Oh, I also have
some dumdums.

You use this word, “dumdums”? The bullets
that make the head explode?

Dumdums, yeah.

Would you like some
of these dumdums?

I know I shouldn't,

but I Will.

Motherfucker.

Is he talking to me?

No, Eirik's on your side,
Mr. Waters.

Your young friend
blinded him last night.

Ray did?

I was trying to rob him
and he took my gun from me.

And the gun
was full of blanks,

and he shot the blank
into my eye.

And now, I cannot see
from this eye ever again, the doctors say.

Well, to be honest,
it sounds like it was all your fault.

What?

I mean, basically, if you're
robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks,

and you allow your gun
to be taken off you,

and you allow yourself
to be shot in the eye with a blank,

for which I assume the person has to get
quite close to you, then,

yeah, really,
it's all your fault for being such a poof.

So why don't you
stop whingeing and cheer the fuck up?

YURI: Eirik, I really
wouldn't respond.

I thought you wanted
the guy dead?

I do want the guy dead.
I want him fucking crucified.

But it don't change the fact that he stitched you
up like a blind, little gay boy.

Does it?

Thanks for the gun, Yuri.

Well?

The boy is suicidal, Harry.

He's a walking dead man.

Keeps going on
about Hell and purgatory...

When I phoned you
yesterday, did I ask you,

“Ken, will you do me
a favor and become Ray's psychiatrist, please?”

No. What I think I asked you was, “Could you go
blow his fucking head off for me?"

“He's suicidal”?

I'm suicidal. You're suicidal.
Everybody's fucking suicidal!

We don't all keep
going on about it!

Has he killed himself yet?
No. So he's not fucking suicidal, is he?

He put a loaded gun to his head this morning.
I stopped him.

He... What?
This gets fucking worse!

We were down in the park...

Let me get this right.
You were down in the park?

What's that got to do
with fucking anything?

Let me get this right.
Not only have you refused to kill the boy,

you've even stopped the boy
from killing himself,

which would have
solved my problem,

which would have
solved your problem,

which sounds like
it would've solved the boy's problem.

It wouldn't have
solved his problem.

Ken, if I had killed a little kid,
accidentally or otherwise,

I wouldn't have
thought twice.

I'd have killed myself on the fucking spot.
On the fucking spot.

I'd have stuck the gun in me mouth
on the fucking spot!

That's you, Harry.
The boy has the capacity to change.

The boy has the capacity
to do something decent with his life.

Excuse me, Ken.
I have the capacity to change.

Yeah, you do.
You've the capacity to get fucking worse!

Yeah, now I'm
getting down to it!

Harry, let's face it.

And I'm not being funny,
I mean no disrespect,

but you're a cunt.

You're a cunt now,
you've always been a cunt.

And the only thing that's gonna change is you're
gonna become an even bigger cunt.

Maybe have some
more cunt kids.

Leave my kids fucking out of it.
What have they done?

You fucking retract that bit
about my cunt fucking kids!

I retract that bit about
your cunt fucking kids.

Insulting my fucking kids!
That's going overboard, mate!

I retracted it, didn't I?

Still leaves you
being a cunt.

Yeah, I fucking got that.

Where's Ray now?

Oh, right about now,
Ray is in one or other

of the one million towns in mainland Europe it's
possible to be in, other than here.

(DOOR SHUTS)

I'll get all the money
back to you soon as I get through to me friend.

It's not a problem,
Raymond.

And I'll get all your acid
and your ecstasy back to you, too.

English humor!

I'm assuming you've
got your gun on you.

That Yuri bloke's
a funny fella, isn't he?

He does yoga.

“The alcoves."

Was he going on
to you about the alcoves?

(CHUCKLES)

“The alcoves
in the Koningin Astrid Park."

(SNIFFLES)

Harry, I know you gotta do
what you gotta do.

It's a bit crowded
round here, you know?

Well, I'm not gonna
have a shootout

in the middle of a thousand
fucking Belgians, am I?

Not to mention the other nationalities,
just on their holidays.

Hmm.

To see the swans and the Gothic and all
the fairytale stuff, eh?

- Are you trying to fucking wind me up?
- No, Harry.

On top of calling me a cunt
and calling me kids cunts.

I might just have to
fucking shoot you right here.

Christ!

Let's go up the bell tower.

Be quiet up there
this time of evening.

Let's go up there.

Yeah. Canadians.

I feel a bit bad.
They didn't kill John Lennon, did they?

Anyway, supposed to turn up
to court here in two days.

Are you going to turn up?

Don't know.

What have I got to
stay for really?

The most beautiful woman

you've ever seen

in all of your stupid life.

The tower is closed
this evening.

No way. It's supposed
to be open till 7:00.

The tower is usually
open until 7:00.

Yesterday an American
had a heart attack up the tower.

Today the tower is closed.

Here, cranky, here's 100 for you. We're only
gonna be 20 minutes.

The tower is closed
this evening.

Understand, Englishman?

(GROANING)

(CHUCKLES)

Jimmy, I've been
wanting to say

I'm really sorry for
karate-chopping you the other night.

That was way out of order.

You know, Ray, I'd find it
easier to believe and forgive you, somehow,

if the two of you weren't
laughing straight in my fucking face!

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

It's for the
goddamn movie, man.

It is a nice town, Harry.

I'm glad I got to see it.

I didn't mean to be taking the piss out of it
being a fairytale place.

It is a fairytale place.

- It really is.
- Hmm.

It's just a shame
it's in Belgium, really.

But then you figure if it wasn't in Belgium,
if it was somewhere good,

there'd be too many people coming to see it. It
would spoil the whole thing.

Well, I'm glad
I got to see it

before I died.

What are you doing?

What are you
fucking doing?

I'm not fighting
anymore, Harry.

All right, then I'm blowing
your fucking head off.

Don't come over all Gandhi.
What are you fucking doing?

Ken, stop messing
about, please.

Pick up your gun.
I know I'm going to beat you anyway

'cause you're a spaz, but...
Harry,

I'm totally in your debt.

The things that have
gone between us in the past,

I love you
unreservedly for all that.

What?

For your integrity.

For your honor.

I love you.

The boy had to be let go.

The boy had to be
given a chance.

And if to do that, I had to say, “Fuck you,
and fuck what I owe you,

“and fuck everything that's gone on between us”,
then that's what I had to do.

But I'm not fighting you.

And I accept, totally,
everything you've got to do.

I accept it. Totally.

Oh! Yeah?

Yeah.

Well, you say all that fucking stuff,
I can't fucking shoot you now, can I?

It's entirely
up to you, Harry.

It's entirely your call.

All I'm saying is
I'm not fighting.

Oh, you fucking cunt!

Look, I'm not gonna
do nothing to you

just 'cause you're standing about like
Robert fucking Powell.

- Like who?
- Like Robert fucking Powell

out of Jesus of
fucking Nazareth!

My fucking leg!

The psycho dwarf turns out to just be
a loveable little schoolboy,

and it's all some kind of
Boschian nightmare.

Kiss my ass!

I guess at least there weren't any
black people involved, eh, Jimmy?

I wasn't...

I wasn't talking about...

There's gonna be a war
between all the blacks and all the whites.

And all the black midgets
and all the white midgets,

which would actually
be really good.

That's just cocaine.

He didn't even want
the Vietnamese on his side!

That's just cocaine.

Listen, we're filming
down by the pointy building tonight.

It might actually be
good for once.

You guys should come along.

We... I think we're just
gonna have a quiet one tonight, Jimmy.

That's how it is!

In another life.

They're great,
aren't they?

You didn't. You didn't!

(GRUNTING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Mr. Waters? Mr. Waters?

- Who's that?
- It's Eirik.

- The blind boy?
- Yeah.

YES.

What do you fucking want?

The guy you're looking for,

the guy Ray,
he's downstairs at the bar.

(GRUNTING)

I'm sorry, Ken.

But you can't kill
a kid and expect to get away with it.

You just can't.

- Where?
- To the left when you come out.

The bar to the left.

(GROANING)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

(COINS CLINKING)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

Ken!

(GASPING)

Ken! Ken!

Harry's here.

What?

Take

“W gun.

Ken?

Where's my gun?

Where's my gun?

I'm gonna die now, I think.

Oh, Ken!

Jesus!

(SCREAMING)

Mr. Blakely said
you had left.

I need the key
to the room right now.

Quickly, now!

And you gotta go home right now. It's very,
very dangerous here.

- All right? Go home! Right now!
- Okay.

MARIE: No, I won't let you
up there! Put that gun away, right now!

HARRY: Lady, get out of
my fucking way, please.

No, I won't. I won't
get out of your way.

You'll have to
go through me.

Well, obviously, I'm not gonna through you,
am I, with a baby and that?

I'm a nice person.

But could you just get out
of the fucking way, please?

Marie!

Just let him
come up, it's okay.

Harry, swear not to
start shooting until she's left the hotel.

I swear not to start shooting till she's
left the hotel. I totally swear.

Well, I'm not
going anywhere.

This is my hotel.

So you can fuck off!

- I suppose you've got a gun up there?
- Yeah.

Then what are we gonna do?
We can't stand here all night.

Why don't you both
put your guns down and go home?

Don't be stupid.
This is the shootout.

- Harry, I've got an idea.
- What?

My room faces
onto the canal, right?

I'm gonna go back to me room,
jump into the canal,

see if I can swim
to the other side and escape.

Right.
If you go outside and round the corner,

you can shoot at me
from there and try and get me.

That way, we leave this lady
and her baby out of the whole, entire thing.

Do you completely promise
to jump into the canal?

I don't want to run out there,
come back in 10 minutes

and find you fucking
hiding in a cupboard.

I completely promise, Harry.

I'm not gonna risk
having another little kid die, am I?

So, hang on, I go outside,
then I go which way, right or left?

You go right,
don't you?

You can see it from the doorway!
It's a big fucking canal!

All right. Jesus!
I've only just got here, haven't I?

Okay. On a count of
“one, two, three, go”, okay?

Okay.

What? Who says it?

Oh, you say it.

You guys are crazy.

- Are you ready?
- Ready.

- Set?
- Set.

One, two, three, go!

Keep driving!

No way. You're way
too far away.

(GROANING)

The little boy.

That's right, Ray.

The little boy.

Oh.

I SEE.

No, Harry.

He's not...

You've got to stick
to your principles.

RAY: There's a Christmas tree
somewhere in London

with a bunch of presents
underneath it that?! never be opened.

And I thought,
“If I survive all this, I'll go to that house,

“apologize to
the mother there,

“and accept whatever
punishment she chose for me.”

Prison, death,
it didn't matter.

Because at least in prison
and at least in death, you know,

I wouldn't be
in fucking Bruges.

But then, like a flash,
it came to me, and I realized,

“Fuck, man, maybe
that's what Hell is.

“The entire rest of eternity
spent in fucking Bruges!”

And I really, really
hoped I wouldn't die.

I really, really
hoped I wouldn't die.