All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E17 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]1

Okay, let's see...

Looks like harvard definitely
Has the smallest class sizes.

Okay, we've got our first entry
Here. It's a pro for harvard.

Those are not the final,
Official pro/con lists.

What's wrong with them?
The lines are crooked.
The printing's sloppy.

Harvard, princeton, yale
Cannot see them like that.

They're not gonna see
Our pro/con lists.

What if they subpoena them?
Then I'll roll them up
In a ball and eat them.

Ooh, a big pro for yale --

They have 1,100 members
Of the maintenance staff --

Clean, clean, clean.

All these places probably
Have the same number.

Yale must be crowing
About it for some reason.

Princeton
Might only have two.
Two?

Yeah.
You think there are two guys
Cleaning all of princeton?

Write "Princeton's stinking
Filthy" in big letters.

I'm pretending to write
It as we speak.
Good morning, ladies.

May I interest you in a shirt?
Kirk, are you selling
Your laundry again?

No, these are part of
My latest moneymaking endeavor.

I'm gonna print
Daily t-shirts

Featuring a humorous
Topical headline

Of something I witness
Around town.
Neat.

It's based on something
A man was doing in portland.

What was he doing?
He was printing
Daily t-shirts

Featuring a humorous topical
Headline of something
He witnessed around town.

Is that today's?
Sure is.

"Babette ate oatmeal."

Huh.
Yeah.

I'm keeping it real.
It's good.

Paints a picture.
I can just see her
Eating oatmeal.

They're $14.95.
How many do you want?

No solicitors, kirk.
How about if I give you a cut?

How about I toss
The shirts out first

So you can have something
To land on?
Got it.

What's with the lists?

You ready? My rory,
Our rory, stars hollow's rory,

Got into harvard,
Princeton, and yale.

Wow.
[ chuckling ] Wow.

I can't believe it.

I feel like I...

[ chuckles ]

Oh.
Oh.

Okay.

[ laughs ]

Well,
I'm not good at hugging.

Oh, I thought it worked.

Thanks.
Man, this is big, right?

Very big.
What's with all
The pro/con lists?

That's how we make our important
Decisions.

You know what
It's gonna be -- harvard.

Probably.
But not necessarily.

Harvard's all you've
Talked about for years.

Who knew she'd be wanted
By everyone?

Which school teaches how to make
An important life decision

Without doing
A stupid pro/con list?

Whichever it is,
Add it to the pro column.

Don't mock the sciencificity
Of our selection process.

I've gotta head to school.
Why go anymore?

You're in college.
Let's go truffle hunting.

Maybe after I graduate.
Alright.

But if the good truffles
Are gone, don't blame me.

Bye.
Bye.

I can't believe
How great that is -- all three.

They have good taste.

You know, jess also -- well,
It's so tiny compared to this,

It's gonna sound dumb.
What? Tell me.

You know how jess
Works at wal-mart?
Yes I do.

Well, it seems he was actually
Chosen... Employee of the month.

Really?!
I knew it would sound tiny.

No, luke, that's not tiny.
That's really good.

Yeah, I mean, there's probably
Hundreds of people

Working at that branch,
And they singled him out.

Yeah, it shows he can work hard
And get along with people.

You should be proud.
Did you tell him you're proud?

He didn't tell me about it.

I got a letter addressed to
"The family of jess mariano"

Inviting me to some little
Ceremony they're having.

Are you going?
Oh, he'd hate it
If I was there.

Seeing him participate in some
Corporate ceremony like that,

Being called upstanding
And responsible.

It would kill him.
Yeah, I'm going.

Good boy.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need *
* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow *

* oh, oh, oh *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need *
* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow where you lead *

Hey, sookie, sookie.
Where's sookie?

Sookie: down here.

Down where? Marco.

Polo.

Why are you down there?
Papaya won't eat,

So I'm pretending to eat from
Her bowl so she'll copy me.

Sookie, you named the cat?

She looks like a papaya.
Doesn't she?

But it's a stray. You'll
Get close to it,

It'll wonder off,
And you'll be sad.

I'm keeping my distance.
Come on, papaya.

Lap. Lap.

Alright, we're getting
You up here.

Come on.

Boy, being a cat
Is hard on the knees.

Since when are you
A cat person?

Ever since I got pregnant
I've become very nurturing --

Jackson, too.

Both your bodies
Are changing.

Yesterday --
Oh, it was awful.

Jackson moved a table and just
Kind of nicked this spider.

He didn't see the little thing
And clipped one of its legs.

It was having trouble walking.
We were so upset.

Jackson made a new leg
Out of a paperclip

But jamming the clip into
The spider killed it instantly.

Little satchmo.
You named the spider
"Satchmo"?

After jackson's uncle.
He'll be very touched.

[ gasps ]
Maybe if I wore ears!

What?

[ gasps ] Papaya!

Look at mommy.

Look at mommy.

Look at mommy.

I left her a message --

Oh. Is this everyone from
The edgar allen poe society?

If you mean the
"I should be sterilized

"So that my
Disturbing idiosyncrasies

Aren't passed on to
The next generation" society,

Then, yes, that's them.

Hi. Welcome to
The independence inn.

Thank you.
We're jim and milly hatlestad.

Okay.

I've got you right here.

Well, once again, welcome,
And let me assure you

There are no human body parts
Buried in the floor of your room

To keep you awake tonight.
Sound good?

I guess.

Room 8.

[ scoffs ]
"The tell-tale heart."

That's a poe story.
Didn't they get that?

The hatlestads
Are not with the poe society.

Why didn't you tell me?
If I had thought to,
I still wouldn't have.

Hi. My name is larson.
I'm checking in.

Poe society, right?

That's me.
Good.

Well, welcome to
The independence inn.

There will be a complimentary
"Cask of amontillado"

On the table in your room. And
If you're expecting your friends

Dr. Tarr and professor fether,
I'll send up another one.

You said you were
With the poe society.

Yeah, but it's just a hobby.
We're not trekkies.

No, no.
I didn't mean to imply --

You're not freaks.
No way. Here. Room 6.

Thank you.

You might want to stop
Trying to cute things up.

I hear that.

Hello, sir.
Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Hope you're having a good day.

You folks know
We do this every month,

A little get-together to honor
Our new employee of the month,

Nothing fancy, just a quick
"Thanks" and a "Way to go."

Oh, and there's
200 bucks in it.

I think that's how we got
Our honoree to even show up.

You know him as a trouper,
Our mr. Reliable.

The first time this young man
Sat down on that forklift,

It was like
An extension of himself.

Yeah, he's not one
For small talk,

But this boy's production
Is out of sight.

It's jess mariano, everybody.

Would you like
To say anything, jess?
Nope.

Well, that's our jess.
Give him another hand, folks.

And, uh, have a good one.

What are you doing here?
I'm so proud of my boy.

Stop it.
Do you have a tissue?

I think I'm gonna be emotional.
I mean it. Stop...Now.

It came with cash,
Which is why I'm here.

Don't forget the plaque.
You should hang that,

Shine a spotlight over it.
I gotta get back to work.

Yeah, the forklift's going,
"Where's the extension of me?"

Hey. Saw you jawboning
With our boy there.

I'm bill borden.
Luke danes. I'm jess' uncle.

Nice meeting you.
He's doing good, huh?

Wish I had a dozen more jesses.
That's great to hear.

He works like a dog
On his regular shift,

And if someone calls in sick --
And they always do --

He's there even if he's
Already done 40 hours that week.

Wow. I am so -- 40 hours?
He never works 40 hours.

More like 45.
Good boy, that one.

Wait. He's got school, he works
For me. It can't be 40.

I can't say
I sign every time card,

But I'm pretty sure
It's at least that.

Maybe I'm mistaken.
Yeah, maybe.

Oh, thought you might like this.
Little keepsake for you.

Great. Thanks.

Man: "Then this ebony bird,

"Beguiling my sad fancy
Into smiling,

"By the grave and stern decorum
Of the countenance it wore,

'though thy crest be shorn
And shaven, thou,' I said,

Art sure no craven..."

I thought poe was downright
Funalicious.

[ sighs ]
He was a troubled man.

He enjoyed a little bit
Too much of the hmm-hmm.

Mime?
You know what I meant.

Oh, mime --
That reminds me.

Yale, best drama school,
Bar none.

Put that in the pro column.
I'm not taking drama.

No, but it means you'll have
The best on-campus productions.

You'll get to see the next
Meryl streep all goofy and 18

And doing crap like,
"Name an occupation."

"Plumber!"

"Name a farm tool now."
"Tractor!"

"Hey, I'm a tractor
Doing...Plumbing."

That's what they do
At the yale drama school?

So I've heard.

That's weird.

What?
Over there.

A second poe?
It's like a poe story in itself.

"The case of the two poes."
"The messrs poe and poe."

Oh, that's good.

Oh, hey, there's dean.
Hey, is that, uh...

That's lindsay.
Hmm.

She's ready to
Go to the ghetto on you.

Well, I don't have
A problem with her.

She's really nice.
And, you know, once --

...She bought you a magnet
Shaped like mark twain's head?

Yes, I've heard
The anecdote.
Sorry.

I think she should just mellow.

I mean, you've both moved on.
What's the problem?

"But the raven, sitting lonely
On the placid bust,

Spoke only that one word..."

I don't remember "The raven"
Being this long.
It could've used editing.

Did you put drama school
On the yale pro list?
Nope.

Do it or we'll forget.
I don't have a pen.

Oh, jeez.

Hey, psst!

Hi, nicole.
Hi, lorelai.

How long is this thing?

Got at least five
"Nevermores" to go.
Oh, jeez.

Do you got a pen?
No.

Cough it up.
I don't have a pen.

Where's the pen
You take orders with?

I wasn't anticipating taking
Orders at the poe reading.

There goes
Your boy scout badge.

Uh, mom?

"Take thy beak from out
My heart and take thy..."

Busted by a poe.

Hope he doesn't
Put a curse on us.

Or complain
When he goes back to being
Fred larson, tampa dentist.

Nicole: hey, lorelai?
Hm? Oh.

You're an angel. Thanks.
I'll need it back.

Yeah, sure.

Looks like nicole's got a little
Lindsay attitude going.

Not really. Really?

Hey, how many "Nevermores"
Do you think he's got to go?

We're guessing four.

Poor edgar allen poe.
He suffered so much.

And now we gotta suffer
Along with him.

"Yale drama" -- got it.

Rory, why do you waste your time
On those pro/con lists?

It's going to be harvard.
We all know it.

I know.
If the list says it is.

Right.
When you were 6
And took my cheerleading class,

You wouldn't even cheer for
Any other school than harvard.

That's true.
That is true.

Well, then the list
Will reflect it.

"And my soul
From out that shadow

"That lies floating on
The floor, shall be lifted --

Nevermore!"

Oh, excellent. Bravo.

Bravo.
Very nice!

That was wonderful,
Wasn't it?

Thank you very much
For that rendition.

Thank you.

What's with the poes?

They look upset.

Wanna hear the scoop?
Please.

I was here when they arrived.
They got their signals crossed.

They were supposed to perform
Different things,

But they both came to do
"The raven."

If the poes start fighting,
Does that punch a hole
In the space-time continuum?

And throw us into a universe
Where everything is the opposite
Of what it is here?

There'll be
Funny sitcoms there.

Ladies and gentlemen,
We have a special treat for you.

It'll allow you
To compare and contrast

Interpretations of poe's
Most famous work.

Oh, no.
Compare and contrast?

That can only mean --

Please enjoy this second
Recitation

Of "The raven."

Do we bolt?
Do we dare?

If I brought a flask,
We could've played the
"Nevermore" drinking game.

Maybe this is what
Drove poe to the bottle.
His own work.

Man: "Once,
Upon a midnight dreary,

"While I pondered,
Weak and weary

"Over many a quaint and curious
Volume of forgotten lore

While I nodded,
Nearly napping..."

Weird vibe in here.

Very poe.

Very poe.

Well, that was pretty good.

You can't just complain,
And then when you walk out,

You reassess based on the relief
You're feeling that it's over.

I was able to compare and
Contrast between readings.

I was able to nap
For 20 minutes.

Good evening, ladies.
Oh, hi, poe.

Good job in there.
I thank you.

Young miss, do correct me,
But I heard tell

That you are considering
Attending harvard university.

I am.
I myself attended west point.

I'm embarrassed to say that
I was court-martialed in 1832
And forced to leave.

Excuse me, but I was expelled
From west point in 1831,

Not 1832.
Oh.

No. I do believe it was 1832.

It was an election year.

It was not an election year.

President jackson
Was to serve five more years.

I'm sure it was '32. I'm sad to
Say it was the same year

My older brother william
Passed away.

Okay, that's not right
Either, fred.

"Fred"? I don't know this
"Fred" you speak of.

Oh, knock it off!
I'm tired.

Will you excuse me?
Yeah.

Poes are very testy people.
Hmm-mm.

Got your latest
Topical t-shirts here, people.

Brand-new topical t-shirts
For sale.

What's this one say?

"Faux poes foes."
Very clever, kirk.

It was an inspiration. But
They're not selling much better

Than the
"Babette ate oatmeal" shirts.

Keep the dream, kirk.
Hey, guys.

Oh, hi.
Mom, this is lindsay.

Hi.
Hi.

The mark twain
Magnet head girl.
The what?

You don't know the anecdote?
You're the star.

The anecdote?
It's nothing, really.

Um, it's the field trip

We took to mark twain's house
In the fourth grade.

I wanted this magnet, you leant
Me the money, I got the magnet.

She usually tells it better.

I kind of remember.

So, uh, congratulations
On harvard.

Oh, yeah, thanks.

I got into
Southern connecticut state.

Oh, that's great!
It is. That's great, dean.

You're -- you're --
Wow.

Yeah, thanks.
I've gotta get home.

And I gotta take her.
So, I'll see you guys.

See you.
Bye.

So you say she was nice?

"Was," I guess, being
The operative word.

So, are we going?

No, you go ahead.
I'll catch up.

Okay. Make it home
In time for "Charlie rose."

Billy joel's on,
And he might cry.

Okay.

So, how was jess'
Employee of the month thing?

It was okay.
Just okay?

There was punch.
The punch wasn't good?

No, just that the manager
Came up afterwards when
Jess was gone,

He was talking about how jess is
Working 40, 45 hours a week.

What? That's full time.
That's what I said.

How does he swing it?
He must be pulling
Double shifts on the weekends.

He's pretty much duding
It with rory on the weekends.

Then he must be getting up
Early on weekday mornings.

Have you seen him do that?
No, but I don't
Trail him, either.

You sleep in the
Same room with him.

The manager must be getting jess
Confused with somebody else.

Or...
Or what?

[ sighs ]
I don't wanna say.

Forget it.
Say it. Go ahead.

Or he's working
When he should be in school.

Impossible. No way.
Why?

He knows the rules. He's gotta
Graduate to stay living with me.

He's going.
He's getting everything done.

He's doing his work.

You've seen this work
He's doing?

Not for a while,
But I just know that he is.

Nope, no way he's cutting
School. It's suicide. No way.

I shouldn't have
Brought it up.
It's okay.

Okay.
Goodnight.

Say, how can I have a career
As a poe?

It's not a career. This is
Just an event that we do.

I write technical manuals
For a living.

Yes, but how can I have
A career as a poe?

Mom.

Mom, wake up.
What?

It's tobin at the inn.
Something's wrong.

What's wrong?
The fire alarm's going off.

That stupid alarm.
It's always doing that.

Tell if he doesn't
Smell smoke to reset it,

And I'm gonna kick his ass
Around the lobby

For waking me up.
He sounds freaked.

[ groans ]

Here.

Tobin, what?

Oh, my god.

O-okay. Get dressed.
What is it?

Get dressed, get dressed.

Man: let's run a full rig
Up there.

Woman:
What's your status?

I've got the first engine
Laddering the roof.

First engine.

We need p.D.
For traffic control.
Copy that.

Hey.
Lorelai, thank god.

What's going on?
This is lorelai gilmore.

What's going on?
In a minute, ma'am.

Mom, let him do his thing.
You're right.

Sookie, michel,
Is everyone out?
Yes.

Are you sure?
Yes, we're sure,

The fire department's sure.
We did a head count.

We need to double-check,
Triple-check.

Julio -- he doesn't start
Till 6:00, but sometimes
He comes early

Because his sister-in-law rita
Gives him a ride on her way
To work in salisbury.

Oh, julio. Julio.

I'm so glad to see you,
You beautiful man.

Ma'am, I'm chief baker.

Oh, I'm sorry I jumped on you.
That's okay.

The good news is
This is almost out.

The structure's stable,
And you're probably gonna be
Able to get back in

In about 24 hours.
Excellent.

24 hours.
The structure's stable.

Thank you.
That's okay.

Your statue's going up
As soon as we get back in.

80 feet tall.
I'm looking forward to it.

Here we go, guys -- phase 2.
Loving the pace here.

We need food, we need computers
With internet, we need phones.

Michel, I need you on this stat.
Hurry, hurry.

Rory,
Yeah.

Help the guests with kids. Make
Sure they're not freaked out.

Gather them up
And entertain them

So the adults
Can catch their breath.
Right.

I have never entertained kids.
How do I do that?

Take your socks off
And do a puppet show.

You've clearly
Never entertained kids either.

It's all I can think of.
Get cracking.
Yes, ma'am.

Hi, everybody.
Good morning.

Whoa, talk about
Your change of plans here.

Unfortunately, you can't get
Your stuff out
For at least a day.

However, if you want to
Get home immediately,

We will check planes, trains,
Whatever you need.

We'll send your stuff
Later as soon as we get it.

But if you can't
Get home yet,

We will provide everything
Short of anything illegal,

And that's gonna start with the
Best breakfast of your lives.

Go to the market
And get food and
Supplies we need for breakfast.

Going.

Hey, who are you on with?
The cheshire cat inn.

Oh, great.
Find people places to sleep.

Excellent.
Yes, my name is michel gerard.

I used to work at
The independence inn,

And I was wondering if there
Were any positions available?

L--

Phones, computer --
I'm on it.

Morning.
What?
What is this?

Phase 2.
Phase 2?

Into the back, guys.
March!

Those guys
Can't go back there.

We're in luck.
Lots of empty places.

What is this?
We had a fire.

Where?
Weston's bakery.

You're kidding!
They'll have blueberries.

Perfect. Um, weston's. Hurry.
Weston's caught fire?

No, the inn.
Your inn?

Move all of luke's stuff aside.
We don't need it!
Wait a minute.

Everyone's fine.
We're into phase 2.

What is phase 2?
Just shove it aside!

What are you doing?
Making breakfast.

You can't make
Breakfast here.

Got any plates
That aren't cracked?

You're the one
That's cracked.

Nice thing to say
To a pregnant woman.

You're pregnant?
Could you be
Any farther behind?

Yo, caesar, help my guys
And there's a $20 in it for you.

We can't be making different
Stuff at the same time.

All you people who
Were here before we invaded,

Are you willing to cancel
Your orders for sookie's famous

Blueberry-lemon pancakes,
Belgian waffles
Or bananas foster?

Sure.
Sounds good.

Okay. Pull luke's stuff off
The grill. Let's get cooking.

I'm an island.
I'm sorry about all this,

But I'm not anticipating the
Inn catching fire ever again,

So it's
A one-time-only thing, okay?

Like I have a choice?

You do.
Say the word and we go.

Stay, cook, eat.
I'll be upstairs.

You're a doll.

No, get rid of it.
Dump it.

Dump it. I don't wanna see it!
[ door slams ]

[ high-pitched voice ]
Where are you going?
Take out the garbage!

[ deep voice ] Nag, nag, nag.
I wanna watch football
And sit in my reclining chair.

[ high-pitched ] Get back here!
I'm gonna get you!

[ normal voice ]
Hold on a second.

No, keep going.
Calm down, little scooter.

I'll be right back.
Shari lewis, how's it going?

Oh, they're riveted.
Good.

But I stink. I keep repeating
The same stuff.

Must be working.
I named them
Mr. And mrs. Sock puppet.

I put no energy into this.
Come back, rory.

You'd think a puppet show
Would bore them to tears.

It's your narrative skills.
Is he gonna take the garbage
Out or not?

I'm on the edge of my seat.
They won't let me stop,
I have get to school.

Guys,
Go on over to the diner

And have breakfast
With your families,

And then ask the nice man

In the baseball hat
To do sock puppets for you.

If he says no, ask him louder!
It's part of the game!

Oh, boy!
Go.

You're cruel and I love you.

Come check in
At patty's with me.

I love computers,
I just know nothing about them.

What does pushing that
"F3" button do?

Annoy me to no end.

What about the "F4"?
[ telephone ringing ]

Hello, this is
The independence inn

Emergency headquarters.

I'm miss patty.
I'll be assisting you today.

How may I help you?

The printer will be here
In half an hour?

I'll let him know.
Thank you. Goodbye.

The pri--
I heard,

And you've got to
Shorten your greeting.
What?

You don't need to recite the
Gettysburg address every time
You answer the phone.

I was ricardo montalban's
Receptionist for 6 months,

And he never complained.

Who?
Don't make me hit you.

You all set up here?

Computer with internet,
Phones forwarded here,

Printer on the way.
I'm the receptionist.

And I'm
Learning the computer.

And I'm looking for
My cyanide capsule.

Have you seen it?
It's nice of you to help.

Half the poe group
Needs to stay another night,

We'll have to find
Places to accommodate them.
Everything is booked.

You checked the cheshire cat,
The maiden's teacup,

The cookie house,
The sugar bear inn?

Every place that sounds like
Glinda the good witch threw up,

Yes, they're all booked.
We're gonna have
To take people in.

Well, I can take a couple in,
Sweetie.

I can, too.
We got cots.

O-o-ooh, we got cots.

Great. Michel?
Forget it.

The poes are weird. I'd fear
Being killed in my sleep.

Plus, I don't like strangers
Using my toilet.

I bet the kims
Could put people up

And taylor and al.

We've got our couch
And my room.

Nope.
What?

They can have my room.
Hon, mine's fine.

Mom, mine. You're stressed out
Enough without losing your room.

So you need your rest,
So you keep your bed.

I'll look selfish.

If anyone calls you that,
I'll kick their butts.

Okay,
Your room under protest.

Hey, michel, I just hit "F4"
And the "Num lock" key

And the one with
The little apple on it,

And it's freaking out
Like it's on acid or something.

Oy vey.

I got it.

Yeah?

Well, you need to say
More than that!

Well, make up your mind.

I've gotta go, but page me
If there's any news.

You mean like if michel
Kills babette,

Patty, then himself in a bizarre
Murder-murder-suicide pact?

Amongst other things.
[ exhales sharply ]

[ exhales sharply ]
We had a fire.

I know.

Bye.

It'll be the last midterm
Of your high-school careers,

So rejoice over that
If nothing else.
[ bell rings ]

Before you go, I just wanna
Mention that it looks like

Another banner year for chilton
Grads seeking top colleges.

I wanna congratulate
All of those who have heard

And advise patience
For all of you who have not.

No one has escaped from chilton
Without going on
To another terrific school

If that's his or her goal.
Good to hear.

I know at least one of you
Has been accepted to harvard.

It's an immense honor, that.
Congratulations.

Have you guys
Heard from paris?
Heard what?

Anything.
She's not here?

She's been gone for five days.
Huh. Didn't notice.

Although it did seem like
There was a lot more air
In here, didn't it?

[ knock on door ]
Man on tv: I have
To talk to you...

[ knock on door ]

Come back for the tray
Later, nanny.

It's not nanny, paris.
It's rory.

Can I come in?

I guess.

Hi. I brought a bunch of school
Stuff from the past few days.

If there's anything missing,
I can bring it over later.

Thank you.

No offense,
But my soap's starting.

So you're sick, huh?

You know what's wrong --
You, of all people.

That's martin.

His sister-in-law
Got kidnapped,

And he thinks his former lover
Is behind it.

Juicy.
So, don't you have
An announcement?

What do you mean?
Did you get in?

We don't have to --
I know you did.

You've got that
Harvard glow about you...

The glow of destiny.

Paris.
Just tell me.

I got in.
Ugh!

Amanda and richard.
I'm so over them.

So, you've been
Incommunicado lately.

I've had nanny hold all
My calls and the mail.

My parents are away,
So I've been totally
Howard hughes-ing it.

So, did you tell them
About harvard?
No.

Don't you think you should?
No.

Well, don't you think
They'll find out?
How?

You not moving out
Might be a tip-off.

I'll get an apartment in
Cambridge, buy a harvard
Sweatshirt,

Talk about mira sorvino
A lot. It's doable.

I told my mother about
Having sex with jamie,

And her reaction
Was to talk about

How my father hasn't
Pleased her in 15 years.

Yikes.
Like I couldn't tell.

What's going on
With your boyfriend?
I haven't called him.

The only people in your life
Work at "General hospital"?

This isn't "General hospital."
I don't deserve
"General hospital."

Okay, you've
Got to stop it.

What happened?!
Harvard was my destiny.

I was flipping through
Harvard class schedules

When you were still delighting
To "Adventures of
Gumby and pokey."

I was a pee-wee herman
Kind of gal.

It's partly my parents' fault.
They didn't brand me properly.

I should've been at
92nd street y or brick church.

Prep schools?
Preschools.
It decides everything.

But I'm not
Totally blameless.

I found a spot in my interview
That I'm sure doomed me.

You recorded
Your harvard interview?

The plan was
To archive everything,

Then donate it to the university
Upon my demise.

Little did I expect that
My demise would come this early.

Paris: it shouldn't even
Be taken into account!

This dovetails nicely
Into population control.

It's a little hot.
Can we do something about that?

Population control has
Been dramatically successful

In european countries --
To the detriment of some,

Especially italy, which is
Experiencing a marked --

Man: you think this
Has anything to --

Let me finish my thought.
Paris --

Please!

Well, you said "Please."
That's very polite.

I sound like a meth addict.

I might as well record the new
Justin timberlake over this.

I hate that your torturing
Yourself like this in bed.

Proust wrote all
3,000 pages of

"In search of lost time" in bed.
If it's good enough for him...

Hey!

Bed is not a life plan,
And you need a life plan.

Here it is -- you need to
Tell your parents about harvard.

And start
Taking calls from people.

Check the mail so that you can
See the other universities

That have no doubt
Accepted you

And that are probably dying to
Be in the paris geller business.

Call your boyfriend because
He's gonna be worried about you

And because this is his fault.
And you need to get out of bed.

"Be in the paris geller
Business"?
You know what I meant.

There's no alternative
To harvard.

Except princeton, yale,
Columbia, stanford,

Sarah lawrence, et cetera,
Et cetera.

Well...Maybe you're right.

I'm unquestionably right.
But I'm not jumping up
This second.

You don't have to rush.
And I'm gonna have to keep
Watching this,

At least until adriana's
Wrongful conviction

For aggravated assault
Is overturned.

I understand.

Thanks.

You've got your remote,
Water, comic books.

Looks like you're all set
Up here, fred junior.

Yes, ma'am.
Oh, "Ma'am" --
You make me feel old.

Stop it.
Yes, ma'am.

No, I mean it.
Stop it.
Okay.

I think
We're out of toothpaste.

Oh, sorry, fred. Below the sink
There's plenty more.

Oh, thank you.
This is kinda fun.

Well, it's fun having you guys.

Aww, I would've done that.

I feel weird now.
Why?

About other people
Sleeping in my bed.

Honey, don't worry.
Fred and his wife don't seem,
What?

Like they're feeling
Extremely romantic.

Oh, god! That didn't even
Cross my mind.

You're kidding. That's all
I would've thought of.

I'm thinking about it now,
Thank you very much.

Got all your stuff for lane's?

Yeah, it wasn't
A hard packing job.

Wow.

[ sighs ]
These have really changed.

What have?
The pro/con lists.

In all the hubbub,
They slipped my mind.

Yale.
What about it?

Yale.
What do you mean?

Yale.
Stop saying "Yale."

It has double the pros.
I wouldn't say double.

Triple over filthy, dirty
Princeton. It's kicking butt.

I'm not done
Collecting my data yet.

The document is the length
Of "Nicholas nickleby".
Looks like you're done.

But --
What?

Look at my wall.
So?

So that wall says something.
Yeah, it says,

"The harvard merchandising
Department made a nice
Chunk of change..."

How can I go to yale
With my wall like this?
It's a wall.

Look, honey, luke was right.

The pro/con lists have to come
To an end eventually.

But luke also reminded us that
It was supposed to be

Harvard regardless of a list.
Everyone thinks that.

I don't. I don't.

I know I'm the one who said
"No" to yale loudly and a lot,

But not anymore.
I just want what's right.

But it has to be
Right for both of us.

If it's right for you,
It's really right for me.

I don't want you
To hate the place I'm going.

Never.
Oh.

Uh, are you not
Ready for us yet?

We're ready for you.
We hate to put you out.

It's perfectly okay.
I'm guessing you're
Gonna fall sound asleep

The minute your heads
Hit that pillow.

Oh, yeah.
We're exhausted.

Have a good night.

Yeah, guys,
Yell if you need anything.

I don't wanna hear you yelling
For any other reason.
Shh!

So, where's jess tonight?
Working.

He works a lot, doesn't he?
He's saving a lot.

Good.
He wants a better car.
This car keeps stalling.

He's still working
At luke's, too, right?
Yeah.

Is he down
To part-time at school?

What do you mean?
Getting work credit?

He's going full-time.
Oh, yeah?

Why do you say that?
I don't know,
It's wal-mart,

Working at luke's,
Squiring you around town.

Seems like a lot
Of his time is accounted for.
He's a senior.

He's going to school full-time.
Alright. Just wondering.

Rest.
I'll try.

Don't start the sock puppets
With fred junior,

He'll never let you stop. Bye.
Bye.

[ doorbell rings ]

The excitement here
Never stops, fred junior.

Hi, there.
The hatlestads. Hi.

I thought you went home.
Well,

Breakfast was so great,
And the town's so nice,

And you made staying over
Sound so fun,

That we decided
To take you up on it.

Is that okay?
It's more than okay.

Come on in,
'cause you're staying here.

Thank you.

Your bedroom's right upstairs.
You can't miss it.

Terrific.
Thanks.

How much room you
Take up on that couch?

Pretty much all of it.
That's what I figured.

Who do you have
Staying in your room?

The second poe and his wife.
For your sake, I hope
They are very tired.

Why?
Nothing. I shouldn't
Have said anything.

[ phone rings ]
Hello?

Lorelai: I'm a nomad.
What?

I'm the lonely wanderer.
Hank williams would be sad
To write a song about me.

Where are you?
I am a bedouin. I'm homeless.

Okay, stop that.
Where are you?

I'm walking aimlessly
Around town.

Why?
The hatlestads showed up.

But they went home.
Apparently

I made the whole emergency
Fire accommodations

Sound so fun
That they had second thoughts.

You're a terrific salesman.

And a terrific idiot.

So where are you right this
Second?

I'm in the middle of
The street, aka my bedroom.

Mom...
I'm by the school, luke's.

Luke's. Good. Go there.
It's closed.

But luke is upstairs.
Ask him if you can stay.

But--
I bet the answer is yes.

He'll make me eat
A veggie burger.
Get moving.

Fine. Bye.

Bye.

Luke!

Luke!

Stella!!

Who is that?!

Lorelai.
What are you doing
Down there?

Enjoying some air, getting some
Exercise, and freezing!

Well, go home.
"Home.

I have no home.
Hunted, despised..."

What?
It's from "Ed wood," the movie?

Have you gone bonkers?

People are bunking at my place,
And I need somewhere to stay.

It occurred to you
Now to look for a place?

The stupid hatlestads showed up.
Who?

Pipe down out there!

Go back to bed, mrs. Slutsky.

Don't talk to me that way,
Young man!

Throw your keys down.

I will not!

No, luke, mrs. Slutsky.

I'll just come down.
Do something!

Ditto.
I'm coming down.

My inn caught fire.

Hurry, luke.

No, young chui, it was right
To break up with her.

Why stay in a relationship
When it's not going anywhere?

Life's too short -- exactly.

No, I told you a joke yesterday.

I need time to come up
With another one.

Look, it's late. I've got my
Math test tomorrow. I better go.

Yeah, I'll call you to tell you
How it went. Okay, night.

Young chui and his
Girlfriend are broken up, huh?

And good riddance.
She was very waspy.

What about you and young chui?
Are you broken up?

My mom thinks we're
The perfect young korean couple.

Weren't you supposed
To break up?
Yeah.

But he thinks it isn't time yet.
Why? It's a fake relationship.

You were never going out.

I bring it up every night,
And he just changes the subject.

You talk every night?
He's a little needy right now.

That's a lot of talking.
Well, we're friends.

Just friends?
What are you getting at?

He's calling you
Every night

And he keeps putting off
Your breakup,

So god knows when you'll
Be able to date dave rygalski.

He's asking you
To tell him jokes

And to let him know
How your math test went.

So?

So it sounds like
He's in love with you.

No. No. Young chui's not
In love with me,

And it's not fair for you
To take an innocent friendship

Like we have,
With its air of innocence --

And its innocence --
And oh, my god, he loves me.

That stupid boy's
Fallen in love with me.

It's not stupid.
You're a catch.

But not his catch.
I'm dave's catch.

I've already been caught.
You need to be more direct.

I can't break up with him, or
My mom will never let me date.

It's gotta come from him.
What do I do?

[ knock on window ]

Just a second.

Hey.
Hey.

Bizarro day, huh?
Wouldn't wanna repeat it.

Inn still closed?
Just till tomorrow.

What caused it?
They're not sure.

Something electrical, probably.

That's usually the culprit.

Something the matter?

No.
Good.

So, how was school?
Same old, same old.

You're still doing okay?

Doing my reading, 'riting,
And 'rithmetic.

And you're still going,
Right?

What?
Where's this coming from?

There's been speculation.
From who?

My mom asked whether you're
Going full-time to school.

Your mom.
Yeah.

Why is she so interested?

Because you're dating
Her daughter.

Great. What else
Does she think I did?

Start the fire?
Put phil spector up to it?

I told her, yes,
You were going.

As they say on "The family
Feud" -- good answer.

So, I didn't lie to her?
No.

No?

Look, don't worry.
I got it under control.

Jess --
I'm going enough.

I've been picking up some
Extra shifts, but I'm fine.

It's mickey mouse stuff
Anyway.

What it takes the others hours
To learn, it takes me minutes.

Well, if you're behind --
I'm not behind.

But if you get behind,
I can help you catch up.
Got it covered.

If you say so.
I do.

Okay.
So how about you come out?

Mrs. Kim: what's this?

He was just leaving.
Why is he here at all?

He came to borrow something...
Here.

Thank you.

Baseball bat?
Cricket.

Night.

Don't do that.
Don't do what?

Don't pull the sheet back
After I pull it.
I need more for this side.

You pulled it again.
I need it for my side.

I need to tuck it in
On this side.

Let's tuck in both sides.
You tuck it in
On both sides?

I slip into it like
It's a straitjacket.
You must feel right at home.

I so set you up for that.
Tuck it in
On your side.

You know, I
Should take the couch.

Me taking the bed
Doesn't feel right.

Oh, now, come on.
What?

Pretending you don't want it
Now isn't working.

I'm pretending
To try to be polite.

I'm fine with the couch.
You're the one that's exhausted.

You know, I'm actually not.
Really?

I'm, like,
Strangely exhilarated.

I mean, as awful as
What happened today was,

I'm happy with
How I handled it.

You never know
How you're gonna react

In situations like this
Until something happens,

And I think I did
Pretty well.

Yeah, I do, too.
[ telephone ringing ]

Hello?

Oh, hey, nicole. Hi.

Yeah, I'm good.
Oh, not much.

There was a fire
At the local inn out here.

Yeah, the one she
Works at, yeah.

Everybody's fine.

Yeah, it's just
A lot of chaos for a while.

So, how was
Your thing today?

Alright. Fill me in tomorrow.
7:00's good.

Okay. [ chuckles ]

Okay, yeah.
Goodnight.

That was nicole.
So I heard.

Why didn't you tell
Her I was here?
Didn't come up.

You mean she didn't, out of the
Clear blue and for no reason,

Ask if I was sleeping over?
Just didn't seem necessary.

You've nothing
To hide here.

You just took in a refugee.

I know there's nothing to hide,

It's just that
You've kinda become...

Become what?

A sore point
With me and nicole.

What? How?

On our first date,
I was nervous,

And I wasn't having any luck
Coming up with topics,

So I was just
Kinda blabbing a lot.

She ordered extra fries
At dinner, so it reminded
Me of you,

And I told her a story
About you and french fries.

And that seemed fine.
And then later she ordered
A third cup of coffee.

Ohh, luke.

And I mentioned you
And your coffee thing,

And I noticed that nicole
Kind of reacted a little.

Ever since then she's been
A little sensitive to the issue.

Of course she is. You don't
Talk about another woman
On a first date.

Even if it's just a friend?
They don't exist.

Come on.
Not on a first date.

No other women exist,
Not even my mother?

Do you really think talking
About your mother is wise?

Not really.
You can maybe
Mention a sister -- maybe.

And then you move on really,
Really quickly.

This is why I hate dating.

Unless you wanna be
Mountain man all your life,

You've got to abide
By the rules and customs.

Sorry, I have to get up
Super early tomorrow.

No problem.
What time?
6:00.

I get up at quarter to 5:00.
Why would you get up
That early?

I don't know,
To run my business.

Well, change businesses.

Ooh, wow.
Total deja vu.

Really?
It's the alarm clock.

I had a dream once that you set
18 alarm clocks to get me up,

Which is not a bad way
To get me up.

Where were we?
We were, um, at my house.

I got up and went
Downstairs for coffee...

[ chuckles ] And you
Talked to my stomach.

Why on earth would I do that?
Well, because I was pregnant.

Twins.
Mine?

What am I, dream tramp?
Of course yours.

We were married?

Um, yeah.
Did I not mention that?

No.

You know, you shouldn't drink
Coffee when you're pregnant.

Yeah, true.

That's probably why
Rory's a caffeine addict.

Right. You're right.
Dream go beyond that?

No. Um, you talked to
My stomach, and then you ki--

Well, no.

Oh, okay. Well...

Night.
Yeah.

Night.

[ luke and jess snoring ]

Luke and sookie
Have worked things out.

There does seem to be a grudging
Respect thing going on.

Get the ricotta fritters
Started, guys.

Are we making
The cajun eggs benedict again?

We could.
Let's. It was good.

The cajun
Was all your doing.
Only because I knocked

The cayenne pepper
Into your hollandaise.

How do you think
They invented the reese's cup
And penicillin?

We could win
The nobel here.

Morning.
You're up early.

Gotta catch me that worm.
Where you going?

School.
This early?

I got a lab project.
Me and my team are meeting.

Well, have a good day.
If I have a choice.

Hey.
Good morning.

Talk to you later.
Later.

By the way,
Your boyfriend snores.

Didn't need to know that.

Hello?

[ gasps ]
It is?

Oh, I love you.
I love you.

Thanks. We're open.

Ladies and gentlemen, can
I have your attention, please?

That was chief baker
On the phone, who told me

In that deep, sexy voice of his,
The inn is officially reopened.

Right now, it's just
Me and the staffers,

But soon, you'll have your stuff
Back and you can go home.

Thank you, lorelai.
Listen, from our group,

We want to give you this.

Oh, well, that's the nicest
Dead bird I've ever gotten.

Thanks, fred.
It's from all of us.

Right.
Thank you, poe society.

Coming, sookie?
I'm coming.

Okay, you need to caramelize
The hazelnuts

For the brioche french toast,

Add some madeira to
The pear-poaching liquid.

Add chives to the cream
For the sheared eggs.

Don't burn anything. Got it.
I've gotta change
For school.

Go, go. We'll see you later.
Let's go.

Ah, here they are.

Hi, michel. Hi, chief.
Don't we love our chief?

I bet he can beat up
All the other chiefs.

Can we get on with this?
Let me just
Unlock the door here.

First thing I wanna do
Is go to the rooms

And get all the guests' stuff
Into the lobby.

Sookie, go the kitchen
And let me know what's what.

Maybe we can open for dinner.
Dinner?

Yeah.
Anyone give you a heads-up
About what's inside?

No.
You might wanna wait
Till you get inside

To make your plans.
And, uh, go slow.