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1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:05,673
And then the rabbit says,
"How about that schnitzel?"
2
00:00:05,739 --> 00:00:08,242
Well?
Well what?
There's no punch line.
3
00:00:08,309 --> 00:00:11,712
That is the punch line.
"How about that schnitzel,"
That's the punch line?
4
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:14,982
Not when you say it like that.
How should I say it?
5
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:17,151
Like a punch line.
"How about that schnitzel?!"
6
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,186
Oh, forget it.
What?
7
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,453
You ruined my joke.
8
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,489
No, the punch line
Ruined your joke.
9
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:22,423
Ha!
What?
10
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:24,292
You admit
It's a punch line.
11
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,626
Oh, my god.
Ha!
12
00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,461
I am vindicated.
"How about that schnitzel"
13
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,197
Has officially been
Declared a punch line.
14
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:32,666
A really bad punch line.
No one asked for
The norton critical edition.
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,770
All the schnitzel and I wanted
Was recognition, now we have it.
16
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,005
Man, it's packed in here.
17
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,608
I guess we counter it.
I guess we do.
18
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,177
[ sighs ] What?
19
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:46,214
What do you know? Your face
Really can freeze that way.
20
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,249
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great.
21
00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:50,284
It's big, fat, happy
Sunshine day for me.
22
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:52,320
Business looks good.
Yeah, the place is packed.
23
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:54,788
Sure, it's been taken over
By the j. Crew catalog.
24
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,858
Look, babies!
I never wanna hear that
Come outta your mouth again.
25
00:00:57,925 --> 00:01:00,894
Bob, the yellow ball.
Yellow ball, yellow ball,
Yellow ball.
26
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:03,097
Ah, yellow duck.
Ball.
27
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,466
Yellow ball, yellow ball,
Yellow ball.
28
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,835
Every weekend, the same
Stupid group comes in here,
29
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,305
Take up all my tables and chairs
They can get their hands on.
30
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,407
And they do that.
They sit, they stand.
31
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,943
One person holds a kid,
Another person holds a kid.
32
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:19,613
I've got choo-choo joe.
This guy runs in and out
And back and forth.
33
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,849
He never takes
His head out of that bag.
34
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,719
The women can't figure out
Which kid is which, and they
Do it all morning,
35
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,556
Then order two iced teas
To go, and that is it.
36
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,192
I'm sure
You're exaggerating.
I am not exaggerating.
37
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,227
Oh, god.
Oh, now, this is good.
38
00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,496
You see, choo-choo joe
Will not be working.
39
00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,731
Get the bongo bear.
Get the bongo bear.
40
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:41,402
How did you know that?
Joe has not been working
For the last six months.
41
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:45,673
I don't think he's broken.
I think he killed himself
To get away from that family.
42
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:48,376
That kid's
A major drooler.
Yeah, it's like a fountain.
43
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:50,311
Okay, that's it.
They have to go.
44
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,546
It's just spit. Pretend
You're at a baseball game.
45
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,448
No, no, no.
I've had enough.
46
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:57,518
Let them go not spend money
At al's. I'm through.
47
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,655
Is that woman doing
What I think she's doing?
48
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,258
Oh, well,
I can't be 100% sure, but...
49
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:07,295
Yeah, that's lunch.
Why? This is a public place.
50
00:02:07,361 --> 00:02:09,029
People are eating here.
They sure are.
51
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,865
This cannot be sanitary.
You don't know
Where that thing's been.
52
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,302
When did that become acceptable?
In the old days,
53
00:02:14,368 --> 00:02:16,537
A woman would never consider
Doing that in public.
54
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,972
They'd go find a barn
Or a cave or something.
55
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:21,409
It's indecent. This is
A diner, not a peep show.
56
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,678
Consider making it a combo.
You could charge more
For your cheeseburgers.
57
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:27,948
No one would ever feel the same
Ordering a glass of milk again.
58
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:32,019
I have to do something.
I just can't stand here
And let the lactating continue.
59
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,554
Luke.
Gross!
60
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:37,157
I'm not the one exposing myself
For the entire world to see.
61
00:02:37,225 --> 00:02:38,459
That's it.
62
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:42,896
You go make her stop.
I'm not going over there.
63
00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,532
Why not? You're a woman.
So what?
64
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,367
So you have the same parts.
What?
65
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:48,602
You shouldn't be scared of it.
Scared of it?
66
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,539
You're gonna be a bachelor
For a really long time.
67
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:53,374
I am being taken
Advantage of here,
68
00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:56,644
And I do not like being
Taken advantage of. I hate this.
69
00:02:58,045 --> 00:02:59,780
Oh, jeez!
70
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,316
Okay, well...
71
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:03,784
That was kind of fun.
72
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:09,823
* if you're out
On the road *
73
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:14,795
* feelin' lonely
And so cold *
74
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,899
* all you have to do
Is call my name *
75
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:23,571
* and I'll be there
On the next train *
76
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:28,075
* where you lead,
I will follow *
77
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:32,513
* anywhere that you tell me to *
78
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:34,615
* if you need *
* if you need *
79
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:37,050
* you need me to be with you *
80
00:03:37,117 --> 00:03:38,852
* I will follow *
81
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,255
* oh, oh, oh *
82
00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:45,826
* where you lead,
I will follow *
83
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:50,564
* anywhere
That you tell me to *
84
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,433
* if you need *
* if you need *
85
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:55,168
* you need me to be with you *
86
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,972
* I will follow where you lead *
87
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:03,076
Oh, is it your nap time?
88
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:07,214
The tylers in 12 asked to have
Their toxic pillows removed.
89
00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,716
Our pillows aren't toxic.
90
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:11,619
According to the travel magazine
That we put in their room,
91
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:14,355
Down pillows can carry
Airborne diseases and mold.
92
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,824
Unbelievable.
I didn't think anybody
Ever read those magazines.
93
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:20,494
She had to. There was a picture
Of a roast chicken on the cover.
94
00:04:20,561 --> 00:04:21,695
Michel.
She is large.
95
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,397
Michel!
And her husband is ugly.
96
00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,433
Hey!
They threw pillows at me!
97
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:28,569
[ telephone ringing ]
Independence inn.
98
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,971
You should identify yourself
When you answer the phone.
99
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:34,475
Sorry. Independence inn,
Major disappointment speaking.
100
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:36,276
Better?
Yes, thank you.
101
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,911
I wanna talk to you
About something.
102
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,048
Shoot.
I'm in charge of
The society matrons league's
103
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:44,051
Annual antique auction
Next tuesday, I thought
You'd like to come.
104
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,054
Society matrons league --
That's quite a name.
105
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,489
What is wrong
With that name?
106
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,190
Nothing.
It just sounds so serious.
107
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:53,026
Brings to mind a roomful of old
Ladies wearing black dresses
108
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:56,530
And cameos, pushing spoonfuls
Of cod liver oil on the kids.
109
00:04:56,597 --> 00:04:59,132
That's a very flattering
Portrait of my friends.
110
00:04:59,199 --> 00:05:03,837
I meant the other old ladies in
The league, the ones who don't
Like you and your friends
111
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:06,707
'cause you guys are so young.
Kindly wrap this up soon.
112
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,376
Consider it wrapped.
Thank you.
113
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:12,079
All the proceeds from
The auction go to
The children's hospital
114
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:14,515
And we're going to be offering
Some lovely pieces
115
00:05:14,582 --> 00:05:16,784
Which I think would look
Nice in your inn.
116
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,587
What sort of pieces?
Basically a lot of canes
117
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,422
And shawls, a couple
Of walkers.
118
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:25,125
I believe we finally talked
Old lady rollins into
Giving up her teeth.
119
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:28,796
What sort of pieces, mom?
We have a couple of wonderful
Writing desks
120
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:32,332
And some french end tables,
Rocking chairs, picture frames,
121
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,201
Lamps, davenports.
Well.
122
00:05:34,267 --> 00:05:38,005
You probably won't find anything
You like and you've wasted
A couple of hours.
123
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,240
And who knows, you might find
Something you love.
124
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:45,112
I'll be way too busy to sit
With you, if that is of concern.
That is not a concern.
125
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,581
Define "Way too busy."
Are you interested or not?
126
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,883
When is this auction?
Tuesday at 1:00.
127
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,119
I'll think about it.
I'll see you tuesday.
128
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,154
Bye.
129
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:57,024
I'm sorry. Did I hear
You mention something
About an auction?
130
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,460
My mother's women's group is
Having one next week.
131
00:05:59,527 --> 00:06:01,695
Oh, well, you know,
I love a good auction --
132
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,263
The drama, the strategy.
133
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:04,698
Strategy?
Oh, yes.
134
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,534
First, you mustn't
Be too eager,
135
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,368
Because that drives
The price way up.
136
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,903
Don't be too eager --
Got it.
137
00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:13,874
You must always be extremely
Careful of your paddle movement.
138
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,776
Well, that certainly calls
For a "Dirty."
139
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:18,612
How's your arm raise, good?
Pretty good.
140
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,614
I have an excellent
Arm raise.
141
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,650
That's what it says
On the bathroom wall.
142
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,486
Yes, well,
If you need some tips...
143
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,921
I'll give you a call.
Good.
144
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,923
Take me to the auction!
Michel.
145
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,794
Take me! I insist you take me.
You don't know if
It's gonna be good.
146
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,262
It's a bunch
Of society women.
147
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,498
If your mother's involved,
It will be impeccable.
148
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,733
I haven't been to one
In over a year.
149
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,769
Well, I don't know.
What do you want?
150
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:45,439
I don't want anything.
Stop playing coy with me.
I want into that auction.
151
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:48,942
You name your price.
Okay. You have to work
All weekends this month.
152
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,479
Done.
And you have to
Answer the phone.
153
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,747
Done.
And you have to
Answer it in english
154
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,449
Unless the person
Is actually foreign.
155
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:58,719
Done.
And you have to oversee
The nature hikers next week.
156
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,822
No.
Michel, if you want
To go to this auction,
157
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:04,892
You have to be in the lobby
At 6:00 friday morning.
158
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,127
You have to hand out towels
And water bottles.
159
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:11,198
You have to show them the hiking
Trails, and let them give
You a nature name.
160
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:13,834
Fine. I will let them
Give me a nature name.
161
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:16,704
Alright, then,
You can come.
Thank you.
162
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,773
Buttercup.
You cannot give them
Suggestions!
163
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:24,177
I can't believe you got into
A fight with pete.
164
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:27,447
You do not suddenly decide that
Garlic is an extra topping --
165
00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:30,083
Not after five years, not
After all we've been through.
166
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,720
We single-handedly helped pete
Pay for that new delivery truck,
167
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:35,155
I thought he needed
To be reminded of that.
168
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,857
Very loudly.
Not that loudly.
169
00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,292
Dogs started barking.
Because they heard about
The garlic incident.
170
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:42,362
No one likes getting screwed.
Pete's a swindler.
171
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:43,964
He takes advantage of
Single mothers
172
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,600
And their innocent children,
And for that, he must pay.
173
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,301
He gave us
Free cheesy bread.
174
00:07:48,368 --> 00:07:50,203
He did?
175
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,505
Oh.
Yeah.
176
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,541
I love the cheesy bread.
I know you do.
177
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,777
It's all hot, too.
Now, doesn't someone feel
A little silly?
178
00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,779
Me?
Should we call pete tonight?
179
00:07:58,846 --> 00:07:59,947
Okay --
After cheesy bread.
180
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,481
Fine, after
The cheesy bread.
181
00:08:01,549 --> 00:08:03,316
I'm gonna go get the mail.
Go inside.
182
00:08:03,383 --> 00:08:06,787
I'm gonna go melt
Some more cheese on the pizza.
Melt away.
183
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,023
Hey!
Hello there, neighbor!
184
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,025
Hi. I'm sorry,
Are we neighbors?
185
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:14,895
Yes. Yes, we are.
I just moved in across the way.
186
00:08:14,962 --> 00:08:17,698
Oh! Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beenie morrison's old place.
187
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:20,868
That's right.
Beenie morrison's old place.
188
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,303
I live in beenie morrison's
Old place. Isn't that great?!
189
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,739
Only if beenie morrison didn't
Want to live there anymore.
190
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:30,010
Oh, no. I paid him a very good
Price -- overpaid, actually.
But it was worth it.
191
00:08:30,077 --> 00:08:32,245
I've been dreaming about a place
Like beenie morrison's.
192
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:36,149
For a long time,
And then I found it.
193
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:38,952
I'm sorry.
I'm just really excited.
That's okay. It's nice.
194
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,788
It's a great neighborhood.
Yes, it is.
195
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,090
Everyone's so friendly.
Babette -- do you know babette?
196
00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:45,726
Everybody knows babette.
Oh, she's a great lady.
197
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:49,997
Oh, uh, anyhow, I'm dwight.
I'm lorelai, and if you see
A teen walking around
198
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:52,432
With a halo and a book,
That's my daughter, rory.
199
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:56,704
Very nice to meet you, lorelai.
Nice to meet you, too, dwight.
Welcome to the neighborhood.
200
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:59,807
If there's anything I can do
To help out, let me know.
201
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,175
Really?
Sure.
202
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:03,476
Well, that's great.
203
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,379
Actually, I have this little
Favor I'd love to ask.
204
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:07,648
Oh. Right now?
205
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,049
Well, this week.
206
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,819
I just got this
Beautiful lawn put in --
207
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,122
Really amazing shade of green,
The guy who put it in for me,
208
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:18,225
He told me that I have to keep
Each blade of grass
209
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,494
Very moist for the first few
Days while the roots take,
210
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:24,965
But I have to go on a business
Trip for a few days --
211
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,334
Last minute,
I tried to get out of it,
212
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,870
But my boss said,
"Dwight, get off your keister
213
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,539
And go make us some money,"
So I gotta go.
214
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:35,175
When "Keister's" being thrown
Around, what are you gonna do?
215
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:39,546
Exactly. So I was wondering if
Maybe you could water my lawn.
216
00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:43,216
Oh.
Only for a few days -- you know,
A little in the morning,
217
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,352
A little in the late afternoon
Or evening.
218
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,321
Depending on your schedule.
It would be a really big favor.
219
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:52,960
Uh, well, I...Guess I-I could
Water your lawn, dwight.
220
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,395
Sure.
Boy. That is something.
221
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:59,266
If I would've asked somebody
Back where I used to live
To water my lawn
222
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,202
I would've gotten a much more
"Hbo" kind of answer.
223
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,305
I love it here!
So, can you come on over now?
224
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:08,375
Excuse me?
So I can show you where
The on-off nozzle is.
225
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,344
It'll only take a second.
My daughter's waiting
Inside for me.
226
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,947
Well, we can do it tomorrow
Before I leave.
227
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,582
Great.
What time are you leaving?
228
00:10:15,649 --> 00:10:17,484
6:00 a.M.
Now sounds fine.
229
00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,486
That's so terrific.
Uh, follow me.
230
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,188
Okay.
231
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:26,660
We're just gonna go over here...
Oh, yeah, I know where it is.
232
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,262
Welcome to the oasis!
233
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,932
That's what I named this
Place -- the oasis. My oasis.
234
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:34,501
A little slice of heaven
Right here on earth.
235
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:38,471
Gosh, I swear I still can't
Believe I'm here.
236
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,508
I was in a terrible marriage,
You know.
Actually, I didn't.
237
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:43,977
Horrible -- like a punishment
Out of greek mythology.
238
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,413
The woman had five heads --
Suffering, agony.
239
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,882
I used to be taller.
Really? She shrunk you?
240
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:51,719
I used to have more hair, too,
And higher arches.
Well.
241
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,788
But through all the screaming
And the name-calling,
242
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:58,859
The berating and the
Humiliation, somewhere
In the back of my mind,
243
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:01,795
I knew someday I would
Have it -- my oasis.
244
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,530
[ chuckles ]
That's what got me through.
245
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,599
That's what kept me from
Sticking my head through
A plate-glass window
246
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:11,138
Every night when I got home.
Well, that's a really...Nice...
Story, dwight.
247
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,940
It's very inspiring
And --
248
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:16,543
Oh, hey! This looks like
It does something.
249
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:19,046
Huh? Oh, yeah. This is
The on-off spigot.
250
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:23,350
Ah-ha!
You just turn it
To the right for "On"...
251
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,384
Oh.
252
00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,987
And the left for "Off."
253
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,356
Seems simple.
It's very simple.
254
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:32,259
Okay, so twice a day.
Yeah, for a good
15-minute soaking.
255
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,694
I will soak my best.
I really appreciate it.
256
00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,596
Okay,
You have a good trip.
257
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:38,365
I owe ya.
Heh heh.
258
00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:41,769
[ instrumental music ]
259
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,636
Where have you been?
Get in the house!
260
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,306
I thought you were
Getting the mail.
Don't look around.
261
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,476
Stare straight ahead. No more
Talking to people ever.
Mom!
262
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,048
Next up, we have
An occasional table
263
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,617
From a distinguished
Family-owned company in vermont,
264
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,152
Circa 1912.
265
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,022
We shall start
The bidding at $250.
266
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,157
Do I hear $250?
250, thank you.
267
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,293
Wow. Lots of garbage
At these things.
268
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,095
Always --
You've got to be patient
269
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,864
And wait for what you want
To appear, then pounce.
270
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,633
Hmm. True at an auction,
True at a singles bar.
271
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,668
To put it crudely, yes.
Crap, crap...
272
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:18,505
Crap that makes the previous two
Items not seem like crap.
273
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,874
Could you keep your crap
Commentaries to yourself?
274
00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:23,276
$400. We have 400.
275
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:27,380
400 going once...
Going twice...
Sold to bidder number...
276
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:30,851
Wow, that was a great table.
It's a good table,
Not a great table.
277
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,486
We should've gone for it.
Too expensive
And many scratches.
278
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,556
We could've buffed
The scratches out.
If you want it that bad,
279
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:41,028
It's obvious that the buyer's
Children will sell it at his
Probate in the very near future.
280
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,131
You're awful.
And he's old. Now be quiet.
281
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,165
Lorelai.
282
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,867
Oh, hey, mom.
You remember michel.
283
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,502
Yes, from the inn.
Hello, mrs. Gilmore.
284
00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:51,738
Didn't you see me
Waving at you before?
285
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:52,973
Yeah.
You didn't wave back.
286
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,042
It's dangerous to wave
At an auction.
287
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:58,411
When you waved, you bought
A motorcycle and a sidecar.
288
00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,947
I did not.
Circa 1912.
289
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,850
Would you drive it or would
You sit in the sidecar?
290
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,717
There she is --
The cobra.
291
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,319
Oh, now, natalie.
The what?
292
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:09,022
This woman gets her way
Or she squeezes till you comply.
293
00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:12,725
Like a superhero.
Ignore her.
Natalie is just being natalie.
294
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,594
My daughter, lorelai.
Nice to meet you.
295
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:17,164
Your mother's got such spunk.
You must love her.
296
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,599
I think she'd squeeze me
To death if I didn't.
297
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:23,403
Natalie, you're
Embarrassing me.
Oh, hush, emily. Listen to this.
298
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,705
Our auctioneer calls in sick
This morning --
299
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,307
They are such flakes --
300
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,342
And what is an auction
Without an auctioneer?
301
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,645
Just a bunch of nuts with
Paddles surrounded by
Mismatched furniture.
302
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:36,850
Exactly. But your mother got on
The horn with that lazy charlie,
303
00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,418
And she squeezed
And squeezed
304
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,621
Till -- voila --
He suddenly felt better.
305
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,390
The cobra.
The cobra.
306
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:44,824
Oh, now, stop it.
307
00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:48,161
You're humble. Don't be.
Nice to meet you.
308
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:51,131
Same here.
Edna's group wants to give
You kudos, too, emily.
309
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,533
Make sure to swing by.
I will.
310
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,169
I should make the rounds.
Say goodbye before you leave.
311
00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:58,271
Hmm, I will, cobra.
Stop it!
312
00:13:58,338 --> 00:14:01,274
Goes with the motorcycle
Thing, too.
313
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:04,044
Auctioneer: 250, thank you.
Do I have 300? 300?
314
00:14:04,111 --> 00:14:05,879
Oh, is this our end table?
Shh!
315
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:09,016
350. Do we have 400?
316
00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:10,450
Let me do the paddle.
No.
317
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,886
I just wanna hold it.
It's still your thing.
318
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:14,321
I'm losing
My concentration.
319
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,423
Fine. I'm gonna go
Get a drink.
320
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:17,524
Oh, please.
321
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,926
Do we have $500?
322
00:14:21,594 --> 00:14:23,863
Can I get
A merlot, please?
Yes, sir.
323
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:29,937
That sounds great. Make it two.
Got just enough for one, this is
The last of the red. Sorry.
324
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:33,273
Ohh. I'll give you
Two bucks for it.
325
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:36,009
They're free.
Which makes two bucks
A great offer,
326
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,644
And this is
An auction, right?
327
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,047
Yes.
I'll give you $3 for it.
328
00:14:40,113 --> 00:14:41,114
$4.
$5.
329
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,715
$6.
$6.50.
330
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:45,152
Ooh, losing steam.
I'm just weighing cost
Versus benefit.
331
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,987
You got to think
About these things.
332
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,422
How about this --
Can I get an empty glass?
333
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:50,490
Yes, sir.
334
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,293
Awww.
335
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,962
You're the solomon
Of wine.
336
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:57,364
Everybody's
Got to be something.
337
00:14:58,365 --> 00:14:59,399
[ chuckles ]
338
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,636
I got a few things coming up
That I'm bidding on.
339
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:06,473
Great -- bartender and I are
The only ones in the building
340
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:10,343
Who don't get to hold a paddle.
Why don't you bid
On one of them?
341
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:13,613
What would I use to bid on it?
I'm solomon, not einstein.
342
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,914
Bye, solomon.
343
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:18,986
Oops. I had a spare bottle
All the time.
344
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:22,255
Oh, thanks.
This was better.
345
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,496
Hi, yes, I was at your auction
Yesterday. I was wondering
If you could help me.
346
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:34,501
Um, I met a man there, and I-I
Would like to contact him,
I didn't get his name,
347
00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:39,539
And I wondered if you could
Look it up for me.
He was paddle number 17 --
348
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:43,176
Oh, right.
C-confidential. Got it.
349
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:44,744
You know, actually,
I misspoke earlier,
350
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:47,514
Because this isn't a complete
Stranger I'm trying to contact.
351
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:49,616
He's an old friend
From school.
352
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,651
Good question.
Well, I don't know his name
353
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:54,121
Because I only knew him
By his nickname.
354
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:57,357
Uh...Shamu.
We called him shamu.
355
00:15:57,424 --> 00:16:00,327
He was kind of a big guy
In high school,
356
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,695
But he's slimmed down
Quite a bit.
357
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,331
No, see, I don't have time
358
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,466
To contact the high school
Alumni committee,
359
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,435
Because time
Is of the essence.
360
00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:11,271
Shamu and I went to a liquor
Store after the auction,
361
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:14,441
And we bought a lottery ticket
Together, and we tore it,
362
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,509
And I took half,
And he took half,
363
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:19,012
And I'll be damned
If the thing didn't win!
364
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,981
$14 million!
Really.
365
00:16:22,049 --> 00:16:27,454
But, see, we have to claim it
By 4:00 p.M. Today
Or we forfeit --
366
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,222
Ah, yes. Oh --
367
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,492
Well, but there's one more thing
That I forgot to tell you.
368
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:34,261
See, um...
369
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,463
My blood type is o-negative
And he's o-negative,
370
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:40,833
And I have a medical
Condition that --
371
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,670
Alright, then.
Well, thank you, anyway.
372
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:45,572
Bye.
373
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,040
So...
374
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,476
Yes?
You ran into
Your old friend shamu?
375
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:54,147
And you won millions of dollars?
And you need a transfusion?
I'm trying to get the name
376
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:57,217
Of a guy I met, but they
Won't give it to me.
377
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,419
Wow. That's effort.
He must have been cute.
378
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,454
And witty. You don't
Meet that every day.
379
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,490
You know who would
Have his name? Grandma.
380
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:05,725
She only knows the biddies,
Not the young ones.
381
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,195
She knows everyone
At these kinds of things.
382
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,630
I cannot ask her for this.
Then kiss shamu goodbye.
383
00:17:10,697 --> 00:17:12,365
But maybe
You could ask her.
384
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:14,834
What?
Come on, ask her.
Do me a favor.
385
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:19,339
You want me to ask the name of a
Man I didn't meet at a function?
386
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,209
I'll share my lottery
Winnings with you.
It's ridiculously transparent.
387
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:26,012
$14 million.
You're sharing half with him,
Taxes will take a huge chunk,
388
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:27,747
And -- you didn't
Win the lottery.
389
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,782
Ask her yourself.
You're mean!
390
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,619
Did you call information
And ask for paddle 17's listing?
391
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:36,423
What do you think
Of the pork? Rory?
392
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,457
It's good.
393
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,758
I'm not sure.
Richard?
394
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,128
It's fine.
I'm not sure.
395
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,530
It's really good, mom.
Yes, well, I'm not sure.
396
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:47,267
Pork is bred leaner these days.
It has a different taste.
397
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,636
Less fat equals less flavor.
398
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,705
Yet another example of the great
Advances man has made --
399
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:54,073
Flavorless pork.
400
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,875
Hurrah
For the opposable thumbs.
401
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,511
Enough talk about pork. Please,
Someone change the subject.
402
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,848
Mom had a really good time
At the auction the other day.
403
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,650
Did you?
Yes. Yes, I did.
404
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,685
I'm glad.
Did you see anything you liked?
405
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,954
Yeah, mom.
Anything look good to you there?
406
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,391
Yes, actually, I bought a couple
Of end tables for the inn.
407
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,626
I was very impressed
With the selection this year.
408
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:16,463
I even wound up purchasing
A couple of pieces for myself.
409
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,866
Yes. How nice to have yet
Another chair you can't sit in.
410
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,434
It's 100-years-old.
411
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,303
We can put it
Next to the
412
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,505
200-year-old footstool
You can't put your foot on.
413
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,774
Richard, please.
I'm only teasing.
414
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,576
It's a great pleasure to be able
415
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,279
To surround you with a house
Full of useless objects.
416
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:36,983
No, I-I'm never happier
Than when we're standing in the
Corner staring at our furniture.
417
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:40,487
Eat your pork, please.
I believe there was something
At the auction
418
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:44,424
That mom wanted,
But she didn't get.
Oh, really? What was that?
419
00:18:44,491 --> 00:18:48,528
Guess it was a steamer trunk
For rory to take with her to
Military school, right?
420
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:53,800
I don't remember it, but I can
Check on it for you if you like.
That's not necessary, mom.
421
00:18:56,269 --> 00:19:00,273
So, mom, it was a very nice
Bunch of people you
Had at that auction.
422
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,808
Yes, very nice.
423
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,077
I was surprised at how many
Young people were there.
424
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,080
I mean, you know,
Younger people.
425
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,649
Um, in fact, like,
For instance,
426
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:13,786
This guy that I talked to for
Quite a while. He was...Younger.
427
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:17,657
What man was that?
I didn't get his name,
But he was a nice-looking guy.
428
00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:21,494
He had a gray suit,
And he was paddle number 17.
He likes merlot.
429
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,196
Are you talking about
Peyton sanders?
430
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,264
I don't know. Maybe.
431
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,098
Wait one second.
I'll look it up.
432
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,167
Oh, no, mom.
You don't have to --
433
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:30,370
She's looking it up.
434
00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:32,539
Paddle number 17 --
Peyton sanders.
435
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,641
Oh, great.
Oh, peyton sanders.
436
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:36,576
Well, that's great
That it's peyton sanders
437
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:41,448
Because that's...Uh...Great.
How well do you know
This peyton sanders?
438
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:45,017
Why do you want to know
How well I know peyton sanders?
What?
439
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:49,256
I don't want to know.
I was just mentioning that
He was, you know, seemed --
440
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,758
Young.
Yes, young.
441
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,727
Okay, mom, uh, peyton and I
Kind of hit it off,
442
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:58,765
And I wondered if...
You possibly had his number.
443
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,501
Okay, there, I said it.
Pass the flavorless pork.
444
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:04,937
You're asking me
For his number.
If it's not a big deal, yes.
445
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:09,141
Well, well, well.
Richard, lorelai's asking me
For a man's number.
446
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,911
So I heard.
If it's a big deal,
Forget it.
447
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:15,782
It's not a big deal at all.
I don't have his number.
Okay. Never mind.
448
00:20:15,848 --> 00:20:19,185
I can get his number.
You want me to?
It's up to you.
449
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:22,622
I didn't ask for his number.
You asked for his number.
450
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:25,157
Therefore,
It has to be up to you.
451
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,327
Okay, mom.
Do you want his number?
452
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:29,596
If you don't mind.
I don't mind at all.
453
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,332
Thank you.
You're welcome.
454
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,734
I wasn't kidding about
That military school.
455
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,739
If we hurry, we still
Have time to hit luke's
For breakfast.
456
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,574
What did I forget?
Pants.
457
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,009
Don't do that.
Let's go.
458
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,811
I can't.
You gotta have breakfast.
459
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:48,080
The clock is wrong.
I'll miss my bus.
I'll drive you to school.
460
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:50,350
You will?
Yes. Oh, shoot!
Dwight's lawn.
461
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,784
Oh, there goes
The breakfast sandwich.
462
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:54,020
No. Let's hurry.
We can still do luke's.
463
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,221
Mom!
Let's go!
464
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,123
My shoes.
You don't need shoes.
465
00:20:57,189 --> 00:21:01,994
In my day, we walked
20 miles in the snow
Just to get to our shoes.
466
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:06,265
Okay, come on.
Sprinkle.
467
00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:11,338
Drink up. We got
A breakfast to get to.
468
00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,239
Mom, I think
This is for you.
469
00:21:13,306 --> 00:21:15,375
"Lorelai" -- no,
Must be someone else.
470
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,410
Hey, don't read that.
Do not read that.
471
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:18,878
I'm telling you,
It's no good.
472
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:20,813
"Dear lorelai" --
And she's reading it.
473
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:24,317
"Just a few things that
Came to mind after we talked.
Oh, great.
474
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:26,152
"Thank you for
The very kind favor.
475
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:27,787
"I can't believe
That anybody would be
476
00:21:27,854 --> 00:21:29,922
So kind to someone
They just met."
477
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:33,426
Apparently dwight's
Last home was oz, and not
As in "The wizard of."
478
00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,895
"Second, since you
Are already coming over,
479
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:38,331
"I was hoping you wouldn't
Mind stopping inside
480
00:21:38,398 --> 00:21:40,166
"And watering
My african violets.
481
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:43,069
"I have written the directions
On a separate piece of paper.
482
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:45,672
"There's a key in
The planter by the door.
483
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:47,507
"Please go in.
Make yourself at home.
484
00:21:47,574 --> 00:21:49,542
"I have food in the fridge,
Satellite tv,
485
00:21:49,609 --> 00:21:51,210
"And a great collection
Of board games.
486
00:21:51,277 --> 00:21:54,781
My oasis is your oasis."
I'm not going
In that house.
487
00:21:54,847 --> 00:21:56,783
Rory, do not
Pick up that key.
488
00:21:56,849 --> 00:22:00,152
But we have to water
The violets.
No, he threw the violets in
489
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:02,389
After he'd already rooked me
Into watering his lawn.
490
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:06,459
Don't you at least want to see
What his house looks like?
Absolutely not.
491
00:22:06,526 --> 00:22:08,461
[ sighs ] Key, please.
492
00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,497
Let me just say
If we walk in there
493
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:14,567
And his dead mother is sitting
In a rocking chair,
Not a bit surprised.
494
00:22:17,404 --> 00:22:20,006
Oh, yeah, dwight.
This place is great.
495
00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,575
Someone took the whole
Lounge craze very seriously.
496
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,344
Oh, my!
Oh, jeez.
He wasn't kidding.
497
00:22:25,412 --> 00:22:27,914
I've never seen
This many board games.
498
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:30,149
He's got monopoly from
Every country in the world.
499
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:32,652
When you finally meet him,
Remember he owns twister.
500
00:22:32,719 --> 00:22:35,354
There's a great visual
Awaiting you.
Got it.
501
00:22:35,422 --> 00:22:37,590
Hey, how come we don't
Have a tiki bar?
502
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,959
Well, we are not
Two wild and crazy guys.
503
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:42,595
You like pina coladas.
And getting lost
In the rain.
504
00:22:42,662 --> 00:22:45,264
I love it here.
It's quite a statement.
505
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,699
Hey, african violets.
Oh, yeah, right.
506
00:22:46,766 --> 00:22:49,602
[ cellphone ringing ]
Ooh. Just a sec.
507
00:22:49,669 --> 00:22:53,706
Hello? Hi, peyton.
Thanks for calling me back.
508
00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:55,875
Well, I hope it was
A good surprise.
509
00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:57,744
It was a good surprise.
Yay!
510
00:22:57,810 --> 00:23:00,413
You just flew back
On your jet, huh?
511
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,149
From maui?
Sounds great.
512
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,618
Yes, I would love
To get together with you.
513
00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:07,787
Um, I'm pretty flexible
Next week.
514
00:23:07,854 --> 00:23:09,422
What did you have
In mind?
515
00:23:09,489 --> 00:23:10,757
David bowie?
What?
516
00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:13,960
I love david bowie.
I would love to go.
517
00:23:14,026 --> 00:23:17,597
Well, yeah,
It is a ways away, but --
518
00:23:17,664 --> 00:23:20,733
No, I think that sounds
Just crazy enough.
519
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,435
What sounds crazy enough?
520
00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:25,572
Well, that sounds great, peyton.
It's a plan.
521
00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:27,940
I'll see you then.
Okay, bye.
522
00:23:28,007 --> 00:23:30,777
We're having dinner tomorrow.
What were you saying
About david bowie?
523
00:23:30,843 --> 00:23:32,612
He asked me to
The bowie concert.
524
00:23:32,679 --> 00:23:33,880
You're so lucky.
I know.
525
00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:36,549
Later, he said a week
Was too long to wait.
526
00:23:36,616 --> 00:23:38,785
He did not.
So we're having
Dinner tomorrow.
527
00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:40,820
And bowie next week?
And bowie next week.
528
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:43,923
Two dates in one phone call.
Talk about not wasting any time.
529
00:23:43,990 --> 00:23:46,793
He sounds cool, not just 'cause
He owns his own jet.
530
00:23:46,859 --> 00:23:50,062
To tell him that the way
To get to you is through me,
531
00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:53,132
Who desperately wants
To go to amsterdam.
I will remember.
532
00:23:53,199 --> 00:23:56,503
I think this place
Is lucky.
You may be right.
533
00:23:56,569 --> 00:23:58,705
[ indistinct singing ]
534
00:24:00,473 --> 00:24:04,677
'course, "Creepy" is the other
Word that comes to mind.
535
00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:08,815
The red skirt
Is not working.
536
00:24:08,881 --> 00:24:12,118
Try the blue.
Blue let me down 10 minutes ago.
It's conspiring with the red.
537
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:14,721
Wear the dress
We picked out this morning.
538
00:24:14,787 --> 00:24:17,624
The morning butt
And evening butt are two
Completely different butts.
539
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:21,961
Whatever butt you've got tonight
Had better hurry, because he's
Gonna be here any minute.
540
00:24:22,028 --> 00:24:25,498
Okay, striped skirt,
Burgundy sweater -- that's it.
541
00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:28,568
What do you think?
I'm wearing this anyway
Because I cannot spend
542
00:24:28,635 --> 00:24:32,238
Another moment deciding
What to wear, it has to be
"You look fantastic."
543
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:33,673
You look fantastic.
544
00:24:33,740 --> 00:24:35,508
Pink and black.
With the flippy skirt.
545
00:24:35,575 --> 00:24:36,743
Grab a necklace.
546
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:41,180
Um, okay,
Here's my concern.
Voice it.
547
00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:44,416
Well, I only saw this guy once
For, like, 10 minutes,
548
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,352
And the lighting
Was only so-so,
549
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:48,020
And I hadn't eaten
Anything.
550
00:24:48,087 --> 00:24:50,657
What if I'm remembering him
A lot cuter than he was?
551
00:24:50,723 --> 00:24:54,827
I'm sure you're not.
But what if I am?
You know how these things are --
552
00:24:54,894 --> 00:24:56,663
You get bored,
You need a diversion,
553
00:24:56,729 --> 00:24:59,365
So you superimpose
A really cute guy's face
554
00:24:59,431 --> 00:25:01,500
Over a really
Scary-looking guy.
555
00:25:01,568 --> 00:25:04,136
You'll just have to strike up
A conversation with him
556
00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:07,206
And find out what kind of man
He is beneath the surface.
557
00:25:07,273 --> 00:25:11,544
What? On a first date?
What will he think of me?
Just order an extra dessert.
558
00:25:11,611 --> 00:25:14,246
Okay, fine. Well?
I liked the brown.
559
00:25:14,313 --> 00:25:16,583
Come here. You've got dirt
On your forehead.
560
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,618
I'm sorry.
It's the sign of the devil.
561
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:20,252
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
562
00:25:20,319 --> 00:25:21,320
[ car engine revving ]
563
00:25:21,387 --> 00:25:23,089
That's him.
564
00:25:24,757 --> 00:25:26,358
Well,
The car sure is pretty.
565
00:25:26,425 --> 00:25:27,994
Come on.
566
00:25:28,060 --> 00:25:29,428
[ squeals ]
567
00:25:29,495 --> 00:25:33,432
Now, if he does have a horn
In the middle of his forehead,
568
00:25:33,499 --> 00:25:35,668
You will call me in
One hour with fever.
569
00:25:35,735 --> 00:25:37,904
Deal.
God, I'm nervous.
Why am I nervous?
570
00:25:37,970 --> 00:25:41,140
Because you're crazy.
Yes. Good. Thank you.
571
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:42,775
Hi.
572
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:44,611
[ chuckles softly ]
You're feeling just fine.
573
00:25:44,677 --> 00:25:46,145
Hey, peyton.
Am I early?
574
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,981
Right on time. I want you
To meet my daughter, rory.
575
00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:50,583
It's a pleasure, rory.
Hi.
576
00:25:50,650 --> 00:25:53,853
Don't wait up. And only two
Or three crackheads at the most.
577
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,088
They eat all the good cereal.
Deal. Have fun.
578
00:25:56,155 --> 00:25:58,057
Nice meeting you, rory.
You look wonderful.
579
00:25:58,124 --> 00:26:00,727
Oh, so do you, peyton.
So do you.
580
00:26:00,793 --> 00:26:02,929
[ instrumental music ]
581
00:26:05,632 --> 00:26:06,933
[ car engine starts ]
582
00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:12,438
[ knock on door ]
583
00:26:12,504 --> 00:26:14,006
Are you up?
584
00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:18,410
What time is it?
10:15.
585
00:26:18,477 --> 00:26:19,746
Oops.
Yup.
586
00:26:19,812 --> 00:26:21,247
What happened?
He was hornless.
587
00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:24,116
No, he had no horns --
He also had no personality,
588
00:26:24,183 --> 00:26:27,386
No sense of humor,
And no idea how boring he was.
589
00:26:27,453 --> 00:26:28,988
I'm sorry.
That's okay.
590
00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:31,490
The evening started well --
Until we got to the car,
591
00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:35,294
A jaguar xj8 convertible
With a 290-horsepower engine,
592
00:26:35,361 --> 00:26:37,964
In case you were wondering.
You weren't?
Funny -- neither was I.
593
00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:42,434
However, he told me anyhow.
He told me a lot of other things
About the car also.
594
00:26:42,501 --> 00:26:45,271
Did you know how many inches
The pistons are? I do.
595
00:26:45,337 --> 00:26:48,741
I know the correct oil
For it, how to treat
The leather interior,
596
00:26:48,808 --> 00:26:52,011
How to load it onto a
Flatbed truck in case of a flat.
597
00:26:52,078 --> 00:26:53,880
Jeez. Did he talk about
Anything else?
598
00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:57,249
Not until we got to the
Restaurant...And the wine list.
599
00:26:57,316 --> 00:27:01,353
Oh, no! He's a winey?
Yes -- he sniffed,
Swirled, swished,
600
00:27:01,420 --> 00:27:04,056
And did every other pretentious
And borderline-disgusting thing
601
00:27:04,123 --> 00:27:06,292
You can do with wine
In a public place,
602
00:27:06,358 --> 00:27:09,395
And he did it while describing
To me the vintage discrepancies
603
00:27:09,461 --> 00:27:12,031
And the wood they use
For the barrels in palermo
604
00:27:12,098 --> 00:27:15,234
And the grape-crop projections
For the following year.
605
00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:17,503
And I, in turn,
Chimed in with my story
606
00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:21,974
About getting sick on andre
Cold duck in the back of
Peter cutler's car in 9th grade.
607
00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:24,610
He didn't find that
Quite as charming.
I can't believe that.
608
00:27:24,677 --> 00:27:28,080
That is one
Of your best anecdotes.
I know. So I stopped talking.
609
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,082
He continued talking,
And I just sat there,
610
00:27:30,149 --> 00:27:34,153
Thinking about peter cutler --
How was peter cutler?
Where was peter cutler?
611
00:27:34,220 --> 00:27:36,588
Was there any chance that
Peter cutler would appear
612
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,858
And kill the man
Talking about torque?
613
00:27:38,925 --> 00:27:41,427
Was the food good?
Tiny portions, weird sauces.
614
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:45,031
I'm sorry.
That's okay. You don't know
Until you try, right?
615
00:27:45,097 --> 00:27:50,169
Anyhow, I am going to go to bed
And dream of peter cutler.
Hopefully, it will be dirty.
616
00:27:50,236 --> 00:27:53,706
What about bowie?
Unh-unh! I'm not sharing
Peter cutler with bowie.
617
00:27:53,773 --> 00:27:58,778
Are you still going?
No. There's no way I could stand
This guy for another night.
618
00:27:58,845 --> 00:28:02,248
I'll catch bowie the next time
He does a farewell tour.
Bummer.
619
00:28:02,314 --> 00:28:03,415
I know.
620
00:28:03,482 --> 00:28:05,084
Night, mom.
Night, babe.
621
00:28:05,151 --> 00:28:07,553
And tomorrow, I'll fill you in
On how many hours
622
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:11,190
You have to clock
To get your pilot's license.
I cannot wait.
623
00:28:13,225 --> 00:28:15,661
Well, the quilting convention
Is sitting down to tea.
624
00:28:15,728 --> 00:28:17,596
I'm doing
Internal cartwheels.
625
00:28:17,663 --> 00:28:19,098
Any messages?
Your mother called.
626
00:28:19,165 --> 00:28:21,133
The auction people dropped
The lamp we bought
627
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,970
And dropped hers off here,
And she's desperate to have it
628
00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,972
For some soiree
At her house this evening.
629
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:30,843
I can take it to her
When I do my other errands.
I can pick up rory, too.
630
00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:33,379
This is cool.
Yes, it was
A personal purchase.
631
00:28:33,445 --> 00:28:37,316
I want it. What is it?
An 18th century
Bleeding bowl.
632
00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:38,450
A bleeding bowl?
633
00:28:38,517 --> 00:28:40,052
When doctors bled patients,
634
00:28:40,119 --> 00:28:42,288
The blood had to go
Somewhere, no?
635
00:28:42,354 --> 00:28:45,524
Okay, return lamp, pick up rory,
Boil right hand.
636
00:28:45,591 --> 00:28:46,926
Ugh.
637
00:28:47,693 --> 00:28:48,995
[ doorbell dings ]
638
00:28:52,398 --> 00:28:55,968
Hey, mom.
I think this is yours.
Ah! Yes, it is.
639
00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:58,504
And I believe this is yours.
Yes, it is.
640
00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:00,873
That auction house is usually
So good with deliveries.
641
00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:05,077
I'm surprised at the mix-up.
Well, gilmore and gilmore --
There's kind of a connection.
642
00:29:05,144 --> 00:29:09,715
Yes, I suppose there is.
Well, I have to pick up rory,
So we'll see you friday.
643
00:29:09,782 --> 00:29:13,485
Would you like some coffee?
Oh, I don't want to
Leave her standing there.
644
00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:16,923
Rory doesn't get out
For another half an hour.
645
00:29:16,989 --> 00:29:20,159
Okay. I guess
I can stay a minute.
Wonderful!
646
00:29:20,226 --> 00:29:24,430
I'll get you a stopwatch
So you can keep exact time.
That won't be necessary, mom.
647
00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:27,166
So, how is everything?
Everything's fine.
648
00:29:27,233 --> 00:29:29,501
And how's everything with rory?
Everything with rory's fine.
649
00:29:29,568 --> 00:29:32,771
And how's everything at the inn?
Everything at the inn is fine.
650
00:29:32,839 --> 00:29:35,507
And how was your date?
[ chuckles ] My what?
651
00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:39,411
Your date with peyton.
Well, my date was,
Shockingly enough, fine.
652
00:29:39,478 --> 00:29:42,048
How did you know about it?
His mother told me.
653
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,482
You know his mother?
A little.
654
00:29:43,549 --> 00:29:46,118
Oh, good.
Tell me --
What did you do?
655
00:29:46,185 --> 00:29:48,220
When?
On your date.
656
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:50,990
Oh, well...We just went
To dinner, that's all.
657
00:29:51,057 --> 00:29:52,859
I heard you went
Driving around afterward.
658
00:29:52,925 --> 00:29:56,896
[ chuckles ]
Well...Sure, uh, we drove
In the direction of my house.
659
00:29:56,963 --> 00:29:58,931
I guess you could call
That driving around.
660
00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:00,666
I heard
Peyton had a lovely time.
661
00:30:00,732 --> 00:30:03,535
Well, that's nice. I'm glad.
I should really get going, mom.
662
00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:06,338
You have time.
I want to hear about your date.
663
00:30:06,405 --> 00:30:08,374
Well, it was just a date,
Nothing special --
664
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,643
Two people eating and talking,
One talking more than the other.
665
00:30:11,710 --> 00:30:13,412
Has he called you since?
No, but --
666
00:30:13,479 --> 00:30:15,647
Well, it was only last night.
There's time.
667
00:30:15,714 --> 00:30:17,283
I just think
This is so exciting!
668
00:30:17,349 --> 00:30:20,152
I wouldn't get too excited
If I were you.
Why not?
669
00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:22,788
We didn't really hit it off
That well.
670
00:30:22,855 --> 00:30:25,324
What?
He's just not my type.
671
00:30:25,391 --> 00:30:28,260
What do you mean?
We don't have
The same interests,
672
00:30:28,327 --> 00:30:31,931
We didn't find much
To talk about.
The date was kind of a dud.
673
00:30:31,998 --> 00:30:34,733
Oh.
Well, that's too bad.
Yeah.
674
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,237
You'll just have to try
Harder on the next date.
Excuse me?
675
00:30:38,304 --> 00:30:40,639
Aren't you going to a concert
Together next week?
676
00:30:40,706 --> 00:30:43,943
He's a real
Mama's boy, isn't he?
Just because he shares his life
677
00:30:44,010 --> 00:30:47,613
With his mother it doesn't
Make him a mama's boy.
I'm not gonna going.
678
00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:50,883
I thought you had a plan.
That was before
We spent time together
679
00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:53,886
And realized
We can't spend time together.
You're not gonna cancel?
680
00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:57,256
Believe me,
He won't be surprised. He didn't
Have a great time either.
681
00:30:57,323 --> 00:31:01,627
You have to go to the concert.
You made a commitment.
You have to honor it.
682
00:31:01,693 --> 00:31:05,464
Mom, this is my business, okay?
Oh! This is so like you!
683
00:31:05,531 --> 00:31:08,534
What is so like me?
You spend five seconds
With a person,
684
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,737
If they say one wrong thing,
You turn on them.
685
00:31:11,803 --> 00:31:14,606
What?
You are extremely
Judgmental, lorelai.
686
00:31:14,673 --> 00:31:17,476
I'm not judgmental of the pot
Calling the kettle black.
687
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:21,213
I spent time with a man
Who talked about nothing
But himself, his place...
688
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:22,681
He's proud of his
Accomplishments.
689
00:31:22,748 --> 00:31:25,184
What's wrong with that?
He didn't end world hunger.
690
00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:28,287
He made the grueling decision
To spring for the bigger tires.
691
00:31:28,354 --> 00:31:30,389
Lorelai --
Mom, I have to go.
692
00:31:30,456 --> 00:31:32,891
We're not finished
Discussing this.
There's nothing to discuss.
693
00:31:32,959 --> 00:31:34,860
Rory's waiting.
I'll see you friday.
694
00:31:34,927 --> 00:31:36,662
[ sighs ]
695
00:31:40,066 --> 00:31:41,667
Ooh! I got you a present.
What?
696
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:45,004
In my purse.
697
00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:46,305
"Cardio salsa."
698
00:31:46,372 --> 00:31:48,540
Yeah, they play
The miami sound machine,
699
00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:50,776
And you dance around
And get a great workout.
700
00:31:50,842 --> 00:31:53,812
Why'd you buy me this?
I'll feel stupid
Doing it alone.
701
00:31:53,879 --> 00:31:55,381
Too bad.
Come on!
702
00:31:55,447 --> 00:31:58,184
No way.
Salsa with me.
Pretend I'm antonio banderas.
703
00:31:58,250 --> 00:32:02,254
If you were standing in back
Of him, I couldn't pretend
That you're antonio banderas.
704
00:32:02,321 --> 00:32:04,556
Don't you want me to live
A healthy life?
705
00:32:04,623 --> 00:32:07,994
Not if I have to do cardio
Salsa. Nice knowing you,
Senora. Adios.
706
00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:11,630
I would salsa for you.
Well, luckily,
You'll never have to.
707
00:32:11,697 --> 00:32:16,368
Hello? Oh, dwight. Hi. It's nice
To...Hear from you, too.
708
00:32:16,435 --> 00:32:19,105
How did you get
My cellphone number?
709
00:32:19,171 --> 00:32:21,673
Oh, yeah, got to love
That babette, huh?
710
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:24,810
Oh, the lawn's fine.
Okay.
711
00:32:24,876 --> 00:32:26,312
Okay.
712
00:32:26,378 --> 00:32:28,780
S-sure, dwight.
You have a safe trip.
713
00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:34,086
Yeah. Bye.
It seems that dwight has been
Checking the weather reports,
714
00:32:34,153 --> 00:32:35,921
And stars hollow
Is going to be extra-sunny,
715
00:32:35,988 --> 00:32:39,591
So he thought,
Instead of watering the lawn
Twice a day for 15 minutes,
716
00:32:39,658 --> 00:32:43,062
We could water it three times
For 10 minutes.
He should get a dog.
717
00:32:43,129 --> 00:32:47,133
Only if that dog uses
The bathroom at the gas station,
'cause that lawn is off-limits.
718
00:32:47,199 --> 00:32:51,737
True.
I have to get back to the inn.
Could you, um, water for me?
719
00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:55,407
It was your idea to do it.
I have a china shipment
Coming in.
720
00:32:55,474 --> 00:32:58,677
Do it tonight.
It needs it now,
If we let that lawn die,
721
00:32:58,744 --> 00:33:02,048
He's gonna vibe us forever.
Not me. I'm going off
To college.
722
00:33:02,114 --> 00:33:04,150
You'll be home for holidays.
Maybe not now.
723
00:33:04,216 --> 00:33:06,318
You would stay away
Just because of dwight?
724
00:33:06,385 --> 00:33:08,420
Hey, nobody wants vibing
On the holidays.
725
00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:11,657
I'm gonna be seriously late
If I have to go home.
726
00:33:11,723 --> 00:33:13,859
Fine.
Thank you. You're
My favorite daughter.
727
00:33:13,925 --> 00:33:17,796
You say that
To all your daughters.
Yes, I only mean it with you.
728
00:33:17,863 --> 00:33:18,897
Bye.
Bye.
729
00:33:18,964 --> 00:33:20,666
Oh, dwight, please!
730
00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:22,701
You're on a business trip.
Get a hooker.
731
00:33:22,768 --> 00:33:25,371
Hello?
Lorelai. Good.
I'm glad I got you.
732
00:33:25,437 --> 00:33:27,606
I wanted you to know
That I'm playing golf
733
00:33:27,673 --> 00:33:30,176
With peyton's father,
Brennon, on sunday.
734
00:33:30,242 --> 00:33:32,978
Okay.
Wear sunscreen.
735
00:33:33,045 --> 00:33:36,115
I will call you afterward and
We can evaluate how to proceed.
736
00:33:36,182 --> 00:33:39,785
What are you talking about?
I'm not sure
How much damage has been done,
737
00:33:39,851 --> 00:33:43,289
I need time with the man to
Assess if an apology will work.
738
00:33:43,355 --> 00:33:44,690
Apology from who?
From you.
739
00:33:44,756 --> 00:33:46,825
For what?
The way you treated peyton.
740
00:33:46,892 --> 00:33:48,960
Ar-- are you serious?
741
00:33:49,027 --> 00:33:51,029
Of course I'm serious.
742
00:33:51,097 --> 00:33:55,101
Dad, this is
None of your business.
It certainly is my business.
743
00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:58,970
No, who I do or do not date
Is absolutely
None of your business.
744
00:33:59,037 --> 00:34:02,541
Peyton's mother is in the d.A.R.
With your mother.
I know.
745
00:34:02,608 --> 00:34:04,643
She's also on
The opera committee.
746
00:34:04,710 --> 00:34:08,914
The hospital board,
The horticultural society.
I get it. What's the point?
747
00:34:08,980 --> 00:34:12,251
This woman is a very important
Person in our social circle.
748
00:34:12,318 --> 00:34:14,753
She may have taken what you did
The wrong way,
749
00:34:14,820 --> 00:34:16,788
Which could affect her
Relationship with your mother.
750
00:34:16,855 --> 00:34:20,859
All I did was not go on a second
Date with her fully grown son.
751
00:34:20,926 --> 00:34:22,494
She's not gonna
Be mad for that.
752
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,830
Lorelai, you obviously
Do not understand
753
00:34:24,896 --> 00:34:26,998
The way things work
In your mother's world.
754
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,835
There is a certain protocol
That must be followed,
755
00:34:29,901 --> 00:34:32,471
Social rules
That dictate proper behavior,
756
00:34:32,538 --> 00:34:35,374
And these rules must be
Very strictly adhered to.
757
00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:37,776
Dad, I'm not going out
With peyton again -- period.
758
00:34:37,843 --> 00:34:40,846
Lorelai, let me tell you
A little story.
759
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:45,684
Now, two years ago,
Sally wallington's check
For the winter formal bounced.
760
00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:49,588
So?
It took her two weeks
To replace the check.
761
00:34:49,655 --> 00:34:50,822
[ sighs ] So?
762
00:34:50,889 --> 00:34:53,592
When sally attended
The next d.A.R. Meeting,
763
00:34:53,659 --> 00:34:56,094
She was served
The last cup of tea.
764
00:34:56,162 --> 00:34:58,897
So?!
Before this
Unfortunate incident,
765
00:34:58,964 --> 00:35:01,833
Sally wallington always received
The first cup of tea.
766
00:35:01,900 --> 00:35:05,504
When she was suddenly demoted,
Your mother moved up
To the prime tea spot,
767
00:35:05,571 --> 00:35:07,406
And she's held that spot
Ever since.
768
00:35:07,473 --> 00:35:09,608
Now, she's very proud
Of that spot,
769
00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:13,212
And now she's afraid this little
Incident may jeopardize it.
770
00:35:13,279 --> 00:35:16,682
I explained this to mom,
And I'll explain it to you --
I'm not 16.
771
00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:20,952
I don't live with you anymore.
I've been making my own
Decisions for a long time,
772
00:35:21,019 --> 00:35:24,856
You can play all the golf
You want, but the subject
Better be letting chicks
773
00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:27,926
Into the augusta golf club,
Because my love life
Is officially off-limits.
774
00:35:27,993 --> 00:35:30,996
Didn't you hear
What I just said?
Yes, I heard it,
775
00:35:31,062 --> 00:35:32,464
I'm sorry,
But it sounds insane.
776
00:35:32,531 --> 00:35:35,534
Of course! It is insane!
That is not the point!
777
00:35:35,601 --> 00:35:40,539
Okay, what's the point?
Your mother is upset, and
I don't want her to be upset.
778
00:35:40,606 --> 00:35:42,441
You may not understand
Her world,
779
00:35:42,508 --> 00:35:43,909
I may not understand
Her world,
780
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,245
But it is her world,
And in her world,
781
00:35:46,312 --> 00:35:50,382
It is very, very important that
She have the first cup of tea.
782
00:35:50,449 --> 00:35:52,017
And I don't care
About your independence
783
00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:55,086
Or what you told your mother or
What you have to say.
784
00:35:55,153 --> 00:35:59,157
If my wife wants
The first cup of tea,
She's going to have it!
785
00:35:59,225 --> 00:36:00,459
That's it!
786
00:36:00,526 --> 00:36:03,329
Now, I will call you
After I play golf.
787
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:05,897
[ sighs ]
788
00:36:07,466 --> 00:36:08,867
[ instrumental music ]
789
00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:11,970
* la la la *
790
00:36:12,037 --> 00:36:15,207
* la la la la *
791
00:36:21,247 --> 00:36:25,251
* la la la la *
792
00:36:33,158 --> 00:36:34,960
[ indistinct singing ]
793
00:36:36,161 --> 00:36:37,663
[ telephone ringing ]
794
00:36:37,729 --> 00:36:40,932
Hey, it's dwight.
Leave a message. Namaste.
795
00:36:40,999 --> 00:36:42,634
Dwight?
Hi, it's doris --
796
00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:44,770
Doris, your wife!
Remember me?!
797
00:36:44,836 --> 00:36:48,640
The woman who was asleep
In bed when you snuck out
Like a spineless worm?!
798
00:36:48,707 --> 00:36:51,843
How dare you sneak out,
You sniveling pond-scum sample!
799
00:36:51,910 --> 00:36:54,079
I should call erin brockovich
To bring a lawsuit
800
00:36:54,145 --> 00:36:57,048
Against your parents, you
Steaming lump of toxic waste!
801
00:36:57,115 --> 00:36:59,885
You really thought you could get
Away from me?! From me?!
802
00:36:59,951 --> 00:37:04,623
I would've found you sooner
If I'd bothered to look,
But now I have -- I found you.
803
00:37:04,690 --> 00:37:08,294
I want my board games back!
I want them back,
I want them back now!
804
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:12,564
I'll hunt you down until I
Get them back, especially
The trivial pursuit!
805
00:37:20,639 --> 00:37:23,008
Whoa!
806
00:37:23,074 --> 00:37:24,376
Aaah!
807
00:37:26,845 --> 00:37:27,813
[ grunts ]
808
00:37:33,118 --> 00:37:34,653
Whoa!
809
00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,822
Gross!
810
00:37:36,888 --> 00:37:38,056
Ugh!
811
00:37:38,123 --> 00:37:39,525
[ panting ]
812
00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,960
Dean, please have
Your pager with you.
813
00:37:42,027 --> 00:37:44,730
Please, come on.
814
00:37:44,796 --> 00:37:46,264
Dean! Come on!
815
00:37:46,332 --> 00:37:49,000
Damn you
And your unabomber tendencies!
816
00:37:49,067 --> 00:37:50,936
Aw, man!
817
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,946
Whoa, whoa!
Slow down!
818
00:38:01,012 --> 00:38:04,816
Get out of my way!
I like the new look.
It's very "Blue crush."
819
00:38:04,883 --> 00:38:05,651
Hilarious.
820
00:38:05,717 --> 00:38:07,018
What's the matter?
Nothing.
821
00:38:07,085 --> 00:38:08,787
You're walking pretty fast
For nothing.
822
00:38:08,854 --> 00:38:11,022
Our president said "Exercise,"
And I am very patriotic.
823
00:38:11,089 --> 00:38:13,191
And completely soaked.
Where is everyone?!
824
00:38:13,258 --> 00:38:15,260
Who are you looking for?
No one!
825
00:38:15,327 --> 00:38:18,096
What's the matter -- other than
You're obviously out of towels?
826
00:38:18,163 --> 00:38:21,567
This guy moved in across
The way, we said
We'd water his lawn,
827
00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:24,235
And the grass can only be
Watered in 10-minute increments.
828
00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:27,373
And the thing is stuck,
And I have to find someone --
829
00:38:27,439 --> 00:38:29,841
Luke or taylor or --
Where are you going?
830
00:38:29,908 --> 00:38:30,876
Jess?
831
00:38:32,043 --> 00:38:33,845
You don't have to do this!
832
00:38:33,912 --> 00:38:35,947
I didn't ask you
To do this!
833
00:38:36,014 --> 00:38:39,451
I can just find someone else
To do it!
834
00:38:39,518 --> 00:38:40,719
[ grunts ]
835
00:38:40,786 --> 00:38:43,489
You made it look so easy.
It was loose.
836
00:38:43,555 --> 00:38:46,558
You just...Had to press down
And give it a good twist.
837
00:38:46,625 --> 00:38:48,794
Well, thank you.
You're welcome.
838
00:38:50,596 --> 00:38:51,730
So, things are good?
839
00:38:51,797 --> 00:38:54,900
Oh, yeah -- really good.
840
00:38:54,966 --> 00:38:56,468
School?
Good.
841
00:38:56,535 --> 00:39:00,105
Still gonna do
The harvard thing?
Yeah.
842
00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:02,073
Good.
843
00:39:02,140 --> 00:39:03,375
Yeah -- good.
844
00:39:06,044 --> 00:39:07,479
So...
845
00:39:07,546 --> 00:39:09,981
[ pager beeping ]
846
00:39:10,048 --> 00:39:11,116
My pager.
847
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:12,584
I figured.
848
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:16,888
Who is it?
It's, um...Dean.
849
00:39:16,955 --> 00:39:19,958
I paged him earlier
To come over and help me,
850
00:39:20,025 --> 00:39:22,227
And he just got the message,
So he's...
851
00:39:22,293 --> 00:39:23,695
Coming over to help.
852
00:39:23,762 --> 00:39:24,896
Yeah.
853
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:27,599
Okay.
854
00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:32,738
[ instrumental music ]
855
00:39:37,242 --> 00:39:38,744
[ doorbell dings ]
856
00:39:43,114 --> 00:39:44,149
Hi, mom.
857
00:39:44,215 --> 00:39:45,451
Hello, lorelai.
858
00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:46,785
Hi, grandma.
859
00:39:46,852 --> 00:39:48,420
Hello, rory.
860
00:39:48,487 --> 00:39:51,156
That's a pretty sweater.
Thank you.
861
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:54,626
I do love you in blue.
You should wear blue more often.
862
00:39:54,693 --> 00:39:57,696
Buy her more blue, lorelai.
Oh, I'll get right on it.
863
00:39:57,763 --> 00:39:59,297
I brought you
Something, mom.
864
00:39:59,364 --> 00:40:01,132
Oh, really?
Soda, rory?
865
00:40:01,199 --> 00:40:03,802
Yes, please.
Um, these are pictures
From sookie's wedding.
866
00:40:03,869 --> 00:40:07,673
There's a great one
Of you and dad dancing.
I put them in an album.
867
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:09,074
That's very nice.
Thank you.
868
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:11,409
You want to see?
I'm making drinks, lorelai.
869
00:40:11,477 --> 00:40:13,244
Right. Later it is.
870
00:40:13,311 --> 00:40:14,880
[ sweetly ] Here you go.
871
00:40:14,946 --> 00:40:16,715
[ sternly ] Here.
Oh.
Guess I'm having wine.
872
00:40:16,782 --> 00:40:18,484
You didn't want wine?
Wine's fine.
873
00:40:18,550 --> 00:40:20,619
I'll get you something else.
No, I'm good.
874
00:40:20,686 --> 00:40:26,191
Would you like a martini?
You usually ask me what I want,
And tonight, you didn't ask,
875
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:29,461
So I couldn't tell you how much
I would love some wine.
876
00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:31,497
I bought some cheese
To have before dinner.
877
00:40:31,563 --> 00:40:33,732
Great. We love cheese.
It goes great with wine.
878
00:40:33,799 --> 00:40:35,601
I will be right back.
879
00:40:37,268 --> 00:40:39,971
Mngh!
Boy, it's cold in here.
880
00:40:40,038 --> 00:40:42,140
It's a lot colder
Where you're sitting.
881
00:40:42,207 --> 00:40:43,809
Ohh...She's mad at me.
Yep.
882
00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:45,711
Think she'll be
Mad all night?
Yep.
883
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:47,746
I guess I should
Talk to her.
Yep.
884
00:40:47,813 --> 00:40:50,381
You wouldn't want to
Talk to her for me?
Nope.
885
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:52,417
Luckily you don't get
Paid by the word.
886
00:40:52,484 --> 00:40:55,120
Fast, so you can have cheese.
Fine.
887
00:40:57,889 --> 00:41:00,992
Need some help?
No, I'm fine, thank you.
888
00:41:01,059 --> 00:41:04,029
[ sighs ] Mom, I just wanted
To say I'm sorry.
889
00:41:04,095 --> 00:41:07,132
Sorry for what?
Sorry about
The whole peyton thing.
890
00:41:07,198 --> 00:41:09,701
When I asked you for his number,
I didn't...Think.
891
00:41:09,768 --> 00:41:13,271
Think about what?
What would happen if things
Didn't work out with us.
892
00:41:13,338 --> 00:41:17,342
I know his mom is your friend,
And I shouldn't have gotten
Mixed up with this
893
00:41:17,408 --> 00:41:21,913
If I wasn't prepared to remember
That what I do will affect you.
894
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:24,149
And to me,
It's just a bowie concert,
895
00:41:24,215 --> 00:41:27,118
But to you, it's...Not.
896
00:41:27,185 --> 00:41:29,655
I was a little thoughtless,
And I'm sorry.
897
00:41:29,721 --> 00:41:34,325
But you have to understand
That I was not lying when I
Said we had a bad time.
898
00:41:34,392 --> 00:41:38,864
We had a really, really,
Really, really, really bad time.
899
00:41:38,930 --> 00:41:42,133
It was one of the worst times
I've ever had. It was awful.
900
00:41:42,200 --> 00:41:45,303
Do you remember skiing with
The danners and their dobermans?
901
00:41:45,370 --> 00:41:47,939
Oh, god, yes.
This was worse.
902
00:41:48,006 --> 00:41:50,375
Not just for me.
It was bad for him, too.
903
00:41:50,441 --> 00:41:53,411
It wasn't like he was in love
And I was miserable.
904
00:41:53,478 --> 00:41:55,246
We were both in pain --
Deep pain,
905
00:41:55,313 --> 00:41:57,015
"Marathon man"
Kind of pain.
906
00:41:57,082 --> 00:41:58,416
[ sighs ]
907
00:41:58,483 --> 00:42:01,252
But despite all this horrible
Pain that we were both in,
908
00:42:01,319 --> 00:42:04,923
And would be in again
If we had to spend
One more second together,
909
00:42:04,990 --> 00:42:06,792
If you really want me to,
910
00:42:06,858 --> 00:42:10,461
I will go to the bowie concert
With him.
911
00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:13,031
Well, your saying that
Means a lot.
912
00:42:13,098 --> 00:42:14,199
Hmm.
913
00:42:14,265 --> 00:42:16,201
Thank you, lorelai.
914
00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:19,938
Borrow rory's sweater
When you go.
915
00:42:23,642 --> 00:42:27,245
* ground control to major tom *
916
00:42:33,084 --> 00:42:35,621
[ theme music ]
76772
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