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1
00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:06,974
The other side.
With republicans?
2
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:09,743
No, lately, I've been having
These dark premonitions.
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:10,778
Oh, about what?
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,647
Dead cow.
Dead cow.
5
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,749
That's weird.
He's always weird.
6
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,286
No, I mean, my premonitions
Have been about death.
7
00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:20,321
About my death.
I don't want
To hear this.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:23,657
And the thing is,
They're all silly.
What do you mean, silly?
9
00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:27,195
In one, I slip on a banana
Peel and fall into
Whipped cream.
10
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,730
Silly and fattening.
In another,
A turtle eats me.
11
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,665
A turtle? How?
Very slowly.
12
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:32,933
There's lots of chewing.
13
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,502
And you didn't run away
14
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,338
From what is perhaps the slowest
Land animal on the earth?
15
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,373
His first bite injects me with
Immobilizing poison.
16
00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,808
You left that part out.
17
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:43,311
This last one's more gory.
I'm out hunting --
18
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,213
A favorite lorelai gilmore
Pastime.
19
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,614
And my shotgun backfires.
20
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:49,317
My whole face spins around
A bunch of times
21
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,720
And winds up in the back
Of my head like daffy duck!
22
00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,855
Now, you gotta promise
To move my face
23
00:00:54,922 --> 00:00:58,326
Back to the front of my head
Like daffy did with his beak.
24
00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,793
I should be writing
This down.
25
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:03,597
You can remember to move my face
To the front of my head.
26
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:05,633
Hello, stars hollow!
Are you ready to rock?
27
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,301
Let me guess --
Band practice tonight?
28
00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:10,003
Yes, we're going to learn our
Fourth song.
29
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,639
That's practically a set.
30
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,740
Mmm!
I'm impressed.
31
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:15,176
Once we have a set, we'll
Get a gig,
32
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:18,045
And once we get a gig, we'll
Get a record deal.
33
00:01:18,112 --> 00:01:19,513
And then after that,
34
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:21,949
We'll get really famous and give
All of these interviews
35
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:26,420
About horrible it is to be
Really famous and how all we
Care about is the music,
36
00:01:26,487 --> 00:01:28,055
And fame is gonna tear
Us apart.
37
00:01:28,122 --> 00:01:30,791
And rehearsing in the music
Shop's been working out?
38
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,326
It's totally time efficient.
39
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:35,062
Being a 30-second commute,
We practice for two hours,
40
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:39,233
I'm home in time to watch
Reruns of johnny yune's
Talk show with my mom,
41
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:43,504
Who thinks I hooked up
With you guys, which I did,
So I'm not even lying.
42
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:46,774
You're kinda lying.
I'm fibbing,
But a fib is not a lie.
43
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,075
I'd say
It's a fib/lie.
44
00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:50,311
It's not a lie,
And I can always tell
45
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,346
'cause the few times
I've lied to my mother,
46
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:56,417
I get this feeling in
My gut like a wild animal
Is burrowing into it.
47
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,885
Wild animals burrowing
Into my stomach --
48
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,853
Another one
Of my premonitions.
Pretty spooky.
49
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:02,156
I've gotta go.
I'm single-handedly
Improving the reputation
50
00:02:02,223 --> 00:02:06,026
Of drummers everywhere by being
On time for every rehearsal.
Thanks for the food.
51
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,596
Uh, excuse me.
Lane took mine.
52
00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:11,098
This band thing is not
Working out for me.
53
00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:14,168
Let's go.
See ya, luke.
54
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,936
See ya.
55
00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:18,906
Turn sideways.
56
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,541
That girl's a freak.
57
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:27,448
Make a hole.
58
00:02:33,354 --> 00:02:36,490
* if you're out
On the road *
59
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:41,562
* feelin' lonely
And so cold *
60
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:45,733
* all you have to do
Is call my name *
61
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:50,371
* and I'll be there
On the next train *
62
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:54,608
* where you lead,
I will follow *
63
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:59,012
* anywhere that you tell me to *
64
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,514
* if you need *
65
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:04,285
* if you need *
* you need me to be with you *
66
00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:05,753
* I will follow *
67
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,855
* oh, oh, oh *
68
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:12,593
* where you lead,
I will follow *
69
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:17,231
* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *
70
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,132
* if you need *
71
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,002
* you need me to be with you *
72
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:25,939
* I will follow where you lead *
73
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,714
[ intro to "London calling"
Plays ]
74
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:44,692
* london calling
To the faraway town *
75
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:48,396
* now that the war's declared
And battle come down *
76
00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:51,832
* london calling
To the underworld *
77
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,735
* come out of the cupboard,
You boys and girls *
78
00:03:54,802 --> 00:03:57,037
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You guys, hold it.
79
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:58,205
It doesn't sound right.
80
00:03:58,272 --> 00:03:59,440
Sounded good to me.
81
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:01,008
No, it's wrong.
Something's missing.
82
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,543
Yeah -- volume.
83
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,912
We can't play any louder.
That's the agreement.
84
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:07,348
Free practice space, but we
Have to play quietly.
85
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:08,816
Try and live with it,
Zack.
86
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,084
Dude, brian's breathing is
Louder than the song.
87
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:12,453
I've got a deviated septum.
88
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,088
All the women in my
Family and me have it.
89
00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:16,457
Well, it's throwing me off.
90
00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:18,191
Hold your breath, brian.
There, problem solved.
91
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,295
Okay, come on, now, let's rock.
One, two, three --
92
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,996
Wait.
The bottom line here
93
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,999
Is breathing should not be
Louder than a rock band.
94
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,668
Am I right or am I right?
95
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:30,137
Rygalski, we need to
Crank it up.
96
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,440
Just listen harder.
That'll make it sound louder.
97
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,107
Can't we turn it up
At all?
98
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:37,578
Well, we could possibly turn
The amps up from 3 to 3 1/2,
99
00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,413
But that's it.
Forget it.
100
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:40,948
Zack,
We just got started.
101
00:04:41,014 --> 00:04:43,216
Dude, lawrence welk cranked
Louder than this.
102
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,585
It's a waste of time.
103
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:46,920
Wait, zack, no, you don't
Understand.
104
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,657
We can't play louder.
My mom has this
Special antenna
105
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:53,361
That can pick up non-christian
Music being played, within a
Football fields distance
106
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,028
And she'd immediately come
Looking for me
107
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,264
In order to shield me
From the perversion.
108
00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:58,599
If zack's going,
I'm going.
109
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,968
No, brian,
I'm not exaggerating!
110
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:03,070
Once, a guy in our town
Named kirk
111
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,205
Was practicing
"Bohemian rhapsody,"
With his band
112
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,375
And my mom shut them down
So fast
113
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,643
That the band fled without
Their instruments.
114
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,546
To this day, kirk can't listen
To queen without tearing up.
115
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,282
Having a free practice
Space was cool and all,
116
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,617
But not like this.
117
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,786
We should just rent a space
In hartford.
118
00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,854
Hartford.
Connecticut?
119
00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,590
It's not that far.
120
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,025
Or maybe how about france?
We could practice in france.
121
00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,927
Or iceland!
The moon's probably available!
122
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,363
We could crank it way
Up on the moon!
123
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,798
A word, please?
124
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,701
Dave, talk to them!
You're the leader!
125
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:35,703
That's insubordination
Going on in there!
126
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,472
They should be flogged, strung
Up from the highest yardarm!
127
00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,873
No, I can't.
Why?
128
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,909
Because we're supposed
To be a one-for-all band.
129
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,977
Like the clash or u2.
It's a democracy.
130
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:46,614
Democracies are overrated. Get
In there and kick some butts!
131
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,449
I'll fix brian's deviated
Septum.
132
00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:50,684
I'll ram one of my sticks
Up his nose!
133
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,686
Do you really believe
This is working?
134
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:55,623
No, it's not working.
We sound like a bunch of
Wankers.
135
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,991
We need to be able to
Really play.
136
00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:01,028
Wouldn't you like to be able to
Hit both the cymbals?
137
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,496
Then we need to do this.
138
00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,632
I just don't want to
Leave the band.
139
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,066
What?
You can't leave the band.
140
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,135
That's not what anybody wants,
Especially me.
141
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,337
Lane, you're perfect for us.
It's working.
142
00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:12,573
So I have to figure out
A way
143
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,375
To rehearse in hartford
Two or three nights a week.
144
00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:16,910
That's not so tough.
145
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:20,748
No, and maybe at the same time,
I'll master quantum physics,
146
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,382
And throw sanskrit in
There, too.
147
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:24,418
Do your best --
Not with the sanskrit thing,
148
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,753
But with the band.
149
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:26,987
I'll try.
150
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:29,423
There's no way you're gonna
Become our pete best.
151
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,858
There's no way.
152
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,259
You're sweet.
153
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,794
We should get back
In there.
154
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:36,430
Okay, um, I'll be in
In a minute.
155
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,305
Wrack your brains.
We've really gotta think here.
156
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,707
It's quite a pickle.
157
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,142
No, rory, this is much bigger
Than a pickle.
158
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,044
Okay, let's stop saying
The word "Pickle."
159
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,815
How many nights a week would
You have to go to hartford
To practice?
160
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,517
Two plus a weekend
Afternoon.
161
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:59,587
So that's three big blocks of
Time you'd have to account for.
162
00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:03,223
Plus you have no car to
Transport your drums
Anywhere as of yet.
163
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:06,059
Or a driver's license.
Or any drums because you're
Borrowing them.
164
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,629
Temporarily until
I can buy my own set
165
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:11,098
With money that I don't know
Where I'm gonna get.
166
00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:14,234
That's more than a pickle.
You're making light.
Now stop and focus.
167
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,704
And turn down the cornershop.
It's distracting.
168
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,772
No, your coltrane is
Distracting.
Turn that down.
169
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:22,843
I'm in angst here, and
Coltrane speaks to my soul.
I can turn it down.
170
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:26,013
Fine, in deference to your soul,
I'll turn mine down.
171
00:07:26,079 --> 00:07:27,715
Hey, here's a crazy
Thought --
172
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,817
How about you tell your
Mom the truth
173
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:32,452
And insist that she let you
Play with the band
174
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,887
And rehearse in stars hollow
Loudly
175
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,789
As long as your schoolwork
Doesn't suffer?
176
00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:38,859
I'm sorry, was that
A serious suggestion?
Hey, it's worth a shot.
177
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:43,130
No, you're thinking your mom.
If I said that, she'd start
Waving a crucifix at me.
178
00:07:43,196 --> 00:07:46,800
If she says no, she says no,
But right now,
You're out of options.
179
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:48,836
We have another call.
Just think about it?
180
00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:51,672
Okay, I will, and, hey,
You know I like cornershop.
181
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:54,141
Hello?
182
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:55,676
Hi, rory?
Yes.
183
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:58,746
This is debbie fincher, kathy's
Mom from stars hollow high.
184
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,582
Oh, hi, mrs. Fincher.
Hi right back to you.
185
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:05,485
We miss you since you started
That fancy school of yours.
Is it fun?
186
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:08,488
It's hard, but I like it.
Oh, well, super.
187
00:08:08,556 --> 00:08:10,057
Listen, is your mom home?
188
00:08:10,123 --> 00:08:13,093
Oh, sure, just a second.
Say hi to kathy for me.
189
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:14,728
Hold on.
190
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,098
Phone.
191
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,432
It's debbie fincher.
192
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:20,834
Who?
193
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,803
From stars hollow high.
Kathy fincher's mom.
194
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,437
Oh, I remember kathy.
195
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,975
You met debbie many times, had
Many conversations with her
196
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,143
At bake sales,
School plays, the pta.
197
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,411
Not ringing a bell.
198
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:34,447
I used to go swimming at her
House all the time.
199
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,917
No. No.
200
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:41,188
Blond hair, medium height,
Drove a range rover.
201
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,156
Does she also breathe and
Have toes?
202
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:46,093
Narrow it down to less than
8,000 possibilities.
203
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,629
I did with the swimming.
I remember the water.
204
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:52,165
Come on -- blond hair,
Medium height.
205
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:55,035
See? Even you can't think of
Another way to describe her.
206
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:56,904
You have no memory of
This woman?
207
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:58,606
All those stars hollow moms
Looked alike
208
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:02,075
Except for lane's mom and that
One with the freaky glass eye.
209
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,744
Take the phone.
210
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,012
Hi, debbie, how are you?
211
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,247
Great, lorelai.
And yourself?
212
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:08,849
Just fine, thanks.
213
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,919
The gang and I have missed you
So much at school events.
214
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,587
You were always such
A kick.
215
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,756
Well, I've really missed you
And the gang.
216
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,391
Hey, listen, I have
A proposition for you.
217
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,461
The pta likes to ask prominent
Locals in business
218
00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,096
If they could talk to the
Students
219
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,132
About how they got to where
They are,
220
00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:28,035
All the hard work it takes,
And we thought about you.
221
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,370
To suggest people I know who
Have success stories?
222
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:33,373
No, silly, we'd like for you
To address the class.
223
00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,042
Me? Really?
224
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:38,111
Yes! You're a young woman, and
You run that beautiful inn.
225
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:41,815
It's a huge responsibility, and
You do it with such style.
226
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,116
Wow, well,
That's really sweet.
227
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,152
It's always nice
To be well thought of.
228
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:47,587
Before we go any further, I'm
Dying to know --
229
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,389
How's kathy?
What's she up to?
230
00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:52,893
She is just terrific.
She's applied to a couple of
Schools in california,
231
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,828
So she's really excited...
232
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,531
So, she wants me to speak
To some kids
About my business success.
233
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,600
Really?
That's great.
234
00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:02,435
What are you doing
With the phone?
235
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:03,804
She's blabbing about
Her kid.
236
00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,873
We probably got another 30
Seconds or so.
237
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,541
You're awful.
No, I'm a kick.
Should I do it?
238
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:09,977
Toot your own horn a little.
239
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:11,611
I'm a success.
Who'd have thought?
240
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:13,246
I suspected you had it
In you.
241
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,548
I wonder why larry king
Hasn't called.
242
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,017
Mom -- debbie, please?
243
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,952
So the internship
Will keep her local,
244
00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:21,789
Which is a nice bonus for bill
And me, you know?
245
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:24,424
Well, be sure to say hi to her
And to bill,
246
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:28,095
And by the way, yes, I'd be
Happy to talk to the class.
Terrific!
247
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,997
Oh, the gang will be
So thrilled!
248
00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:33,366
Now, there'll probably be a
Second speaker with you.
Do you mind?
249
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,969
We have some suggestions,
But do you know anyone?
250
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:39,472
Well, my friend the sultan of
Brunei is so hard to pin down.
251
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:41,675
There's that sense of humor.
252
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,177
We were considering
Luke danes,
253
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:46,046
But he usually turns these
Things down.
254
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:49,149
I could talk to him.
That would be just
Terrific.
255
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:52,452
The two of you together
Would be a kick.
256
00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:56,724
Well, then I'll just kick him
Till he agrees to do it.
How does that sound?
257
00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:58,959
Thursday at 4:00 p.M. --
Is that okay?
258
00:10:59,026 --> 00:11:01,194
Oh, you rat!
You rat!
What?
259
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:04,597
You remembered how much I hate
Being called deb!
260
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,300
I'm wicked.
[ laughs ]
261
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:10,704
Well, thank you, lorelai, and
I'll talk to you soon.
262
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:12,105
Okay.
Bye.
263
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,507
She hates
Being called deb.
264
00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:16,209
I'll make a mental note.
265
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,911
Ow! Ow! Ow!
266
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,213
I'm so proud of my little
Success.
267
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,681
[ chuckles ]
268
00:11:41,769 --> 00:11:43,236
Stop it.
Don't run.
269
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,873
Just walk in there and tell
Her what you want.
270
00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:48,308
She's your mother,
And she wants you to be happy
271
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:50,343
On some level, I think.
Maybe not.
272
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,578
What are you doing?
273
00:11:51,644 --> 00:11:53,814
Do not back off.
Just move.
C'mon, move.
274
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,248
Move your foot.
Move your foot.
275
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,584
One foot.
Lane! Move your foot!
276
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,319
Lane!
Yeah?
277
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:01,321
Come with me.
Okay.
278
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,492
Sit. Sit.
279
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,695
You want tea?
280
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,630
Mama, I want --
Sit.
281
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:12,299
Sorry.
282
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,803
I wanted to talk to you
About something,
283
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:20,040
An idea I had -- have --
For me to do something
284
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,675
That would be very beneficial to
Me and you by extension,
285
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,612
Because if one person is happy,
The other person is happy,
286
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,917
And so I had an idea
Of how I could be,
And then you could be --
287
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,952
Tea would be good.
288
00:12:34,822 --> 00:12:37,390
Here.
I want you to fill these out.
289
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,759
What are these?
College applications.
290
00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,995
Don't worry -- every one
In this pile
291
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,763
Approved by me and
Reverend mellmen.
292
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,899
I haven't heard of one of
These schools.
293
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,267
They're all good religious
Programs,
294
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,102
And I've already thrown out
The ones
295
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:52,539
That let boys and girls sit in
The cafeteria together.
296
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,574
Oh.
Great.
297
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:56,209
I will help you
Fill them out,
298
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,179
And we'll mail them on the
Way to choir practice, okay?
299
00:12:59,246 --> 00:13:02,015
Good, now, "If you meet jesus
Walking on the street,
300
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:05,585
What are the three questions
You would like to ask?"
301
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:07,054
Ah!
302
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:11,758
Your speech for that class?
303
00:13:11,825 --> 00:13:13,360
Just some talking points.
304
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,964
And this speech is about your
Success in business, yes?
305
00:13:17,030 --> 00:13:18,465
Pretty much.
306
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,368
You must feel very fortunate
To live in a tiny town
307
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,170
Where people make
Very little money.
308
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,705
It elevates you by
Comparison.
309
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:29,276
I wonder who their last
Speaker was,
The fellow in short pants
310
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:32,245
That walks up and down the
Square with a metal detector?
311
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:36,449
I wouldn't know.
And if they find someone who
Drives a car
312
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,286
That is less than eight years
Old, what will they do,
313
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,221
Crown him king of successful
People?
314
00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:43,656
Unless it's a woman.
Then they'll crown her queen.
315
00:13:43,723 --> 00:13:46,126
And if they --
Go away.
316
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,527
Independence inn.
Lorelai speaking.
317
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,197
I'm backing out.
Too late.
Sorry.
318
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:52,599
I'm not speaking
To that stupid class.
319
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:53,833
You agreed.
320
00:13:53,901 --> 00:13:55,668
I'm out. Case closed.
No debate.
321
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:57,170
Great, fine, do what
You want.
322
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,739
I guess I'm just out
The $1,000 deposit.
323
00:13:59,806 --> 00:14:01,774
What deposit?
For the room.
324
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,043
What room?
325
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,278
For the thing.
For the afterwards thing.
326
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:08,815
You're trying to confuse me,
Aren't you?
Aren't you?
327
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,350
What?
Who?
328
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,484
Stop.
Bye!
329
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:14,187
Hold on a sec!
I agreed to this under coercion.
330
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,889
You said yes on your own.
331
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,757
I said yes because when
I said no,
332
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,593
You talked baby talk loudly in
Front of all my customers
333
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:25,065
Until I got so sick of it,
I just agreed to do it
To shut you up.
334
00:14:25,132 --> 00:14:26,900
It's not a binding agreement.
It's coercion.
335
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,601
Well, you gave in just
In time
336
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:31,238
Because I was about to
Transition out of baby talk
337
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:32,805
And into my louis armstrong
Voice,
338
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,109
And that, my friend, is a whole
Lot worse than baby talk.
339
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,978
I hate that building.
340
00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:41,714
What, the school?
Three years of going there, I
Have no good memories.
341
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:45,518
None. Kids were as dumb
Then as they are now.
I think you'll enjoy this.
342
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:50,223
Think about going back to your
High school to give a talk.
How would that feel?
343
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,225
Okay, not all your points
Are bad,
344
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,461
But it's not my school.
And if you cancel,
345
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:57,564
This whole town will know, and
When you walk down the street,
346
00:14:57,630 --> 00:15:00,000
People will point and whisper,
"There goes that luke.
347
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,402
He's a real
Talk-canceler guy."
348
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:03,603
Ouch.
349
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:04,938
Plus, I promised the pta,
350
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,340
So my fragile reputation
Is on the line.
351
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,876
I think you'll live. No!
Oh, luke --
352
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,779
[ as louis armstrong ]
* hello...Dolly *
Stop that.
353
00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:15,515
* this is louis,
Dolly *
I'll just hang up.
354
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:19,652
* I'll be comin' round the diner
Singin'...So-o-o-ngs *
355
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:21,454
Have you been diagnosed?
356
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,690
[ normal voice ]
See you tomorrow at 4:00!
357
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,525
[ coughs ]
358
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:29,062
Oh, it was a fine collection.
She made you apply to
Every one?
359
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,897
And measured my head
For a wimple.
360
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,133
There wasn't one you might
Want to go to?
361
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,901
Depends on what I'm
Looking for.
362
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:38,138
Of course, all the great
Seventh-day adventist
Schools were represented
363
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:41,208
With their ban on dancing,
Gum chewing, and bowling.
364
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,276
Quaker college
Was a delightful surprise
365
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,012
With its special appeal
For richard nixon,
366
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,614
Who's dead but still deeply
Involved in campus recruiting.
367
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,317
Oh, and the
Piece de resistance --
368
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:53,153
She found an amish school
In nicaragua.
369
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,788
Nicaragua!
A big shout out to
Mama kim on that one!
370
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:59,592
Mama kim always starts
Out super serious but
Then lightens with time.
371
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,529
But I don't have time.
Schools I like
Will fill up,
372
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:05,498
And my band --
My beloved band --
Will find another drummer.
373
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,635
Just try to calm down.
No, calm is for losers.
374
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:11,238
I spent my whole life
Compromising
375
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,307
And being the good little girl
And not doing what I want
376
00:16:14,374 --> 00:16:17,144
Or doing what I want
And feeling guilty for doing it,
377
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,846
I even lost my first boyfriend
Because of all this!
378
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,148
What boyfriend?
Henry.
379
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,415
Oh, right -- henry.
380
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,251
See? That's how pathetic
My life is.
381
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:28,121
I'm calling a boyfriend
A guy I never went
Out on a date with,
382
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,956
And that my own best friend
Doesn't remember,
383
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,625
Which is not your fault, because
There's nothing to remember.
384
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,728
So besides power walking, what
Are you gonna do about it?
385
00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:39,232
Lane!
386
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:41,000
Lane?
Follow my anger!
387
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:44,104
What are you doing?
Choosing a color!
388
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,872
You're gonna dye
Your hair?
389
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:50,077
Yes. I am.
Lots of choices here.
Help me narrow it down.
390
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,312
And walk around
In a hood all the time?
391
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:54,347
How are gonna hide this
From your mom?
392
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,383
I'm not gonna hide it!
That's the point!
393
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:58,151
Think about this for a second.
394
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,253
I've been thinking about this
My whole life.
395
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,888
Nothing's gonna change
Unless I change it,
396
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,724
And now's the time.
I need to make
A clear statement --
397
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,827
One I can't go back on
Or chicken out on,
398
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,096
And this is my instrument.
399
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,763
It says,
"This is lane kim!"
400
00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:12,699
That is you.
It's black hair dye.
401
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:15,568
This is merely a prop until
We find my true color.
402
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:17,404
Now, what do you think?
Pink?
403
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:20,039
Or is that too pink the singer?
And kelly osbourne?
404
00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,374
And gwen stefani?
405
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:23,610
Man, there's a lot of cheese
Associate with pink.
406
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,178
Okay, pink's out.
There's blue!
407
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:28,215
What about blue?
408
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,317
Blue's probably not right
For your skin tone,
409
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:32,185
And I agree with you
About pink.
410
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,353
What about purple?
411
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,422
Yes! Purple!
You're brilliant!
412
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,056
And bleach.
Don't forget the bleach.
413
00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:38,958
Bleach! Right!
Okay, I'll get the bleach!
414
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:40,127
Thank you!
415
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:44,063
And make sure that
You get some --
416
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:46,032
Gloves.
417
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:47,967
Got 'em.
418
00:17:48,034 --> 00:17:51,003
Good, good.
You alright?
419
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,972
Yeah, fine.
Let's go.
420
00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,309
It's a good day today,
Isn't it?
Mm-hmm. $12.52.
421
00:17:56,376 --> 00:18:01,348
And I've got exact change
For you.
Super.
422
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,482
You need something?
423
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:05,552
No.
No, I just, um...
424
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,655
I was wondering if there's
A money-back guarantee.
425
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:11,691
You know, in case her hair
Falls out or something.
426
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:15,262
Sure, if your hair falls out,
We'll give you your money back.
427
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:16,763
Good.
You heard that.
428
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:19,866
The second you go bald, you can
Come get your money back.
429
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,302
Rory, you're putting a damper on
My independence day.
430
00:18:22,369 --> 00:18:23,636
Sorry.
Let's go.
431
00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:33,213
Lucas!
La escuela!
432
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,682
Hey.
Hey.
Did you lose track of time?
433
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:39,252
What? Why?
It's 4:00. We're supposed to be
At school, like, now.
434
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,987
You're not ready.
435
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,756
What?
Oh, right, right, sorry.
436
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,825
Okay, I'm ready.
437
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,528
Au contraire.
You are so not ready.
438
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,997
What are you talking
About?
The grunge look is out.
439
00:18:51,063 --> 00:18:53,900
Hey, I'm not dressing up
For this.
You need something better.
440
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,935
The whole point of this stupid
Class talk
441
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,805
Was for us to talk about our
Work and our success.
442
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:01,040
This flannel shirt is my most
Successful outfit.
443
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,109
I've closed many a deal
In this outfit.
444
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,245
It's my power outfit.
Come on.
445
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,980
Hey, let go. Let go.
Hey, you're pinching me!
446
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:09,416
Go!
447
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,850
I don't want to change.
448
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:14,421
I'll buy you a toy afterward.
You want a toy?
449
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:16,456
Sorry to barge in.
No problem.
450
00:19:16,523 --> 00:19:18,425
What was that about
A toy?
451
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,660
Luke is getting one if
He's a good boy.
452
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:22,529
Can we make this more
Demeaning?
453
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:25,298
Hey, why don't you go downstairs
And help out caesar?
454
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,434
I think my education comes
First, don't you?
455
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,870
Oh, my god.
Jimmy buffett?
Put that back.
456
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,373
You like jimmy buffett?
He's so mellow.
457
00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,675
I've just been to a
Few shows. That's all.
458
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,411
A few shows? Oh, my god,
You're a buffett head.
459
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,680
Is that the one you want
Me to wear?
460
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:42,349
Sing "Margaritaville."
No.
461
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:46,085
We've got ourselves a
Winner.
462
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:47,754
Fine, fine.
Come on.
463
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:48,988
Just change in here.
464
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,523
I'll be more comfortable
In here.
465
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,359
I've seen you swimming
At the lake,
466
00:19:52,425 --> 00:19:54,461
So I've seen you with
Your shirt off!
467
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,396
Lately? 'cause he's really
Let himself go.
468
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,565
Lose the baseball cap,
Too.
469
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,401
You run the risk of his head
Falling off without it.
470
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:02,835
I think he'll be okay.
471
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,578
Something wrong?
472
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,813
Uh, no.
473
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,115
No, I just --
No.
474
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:17,550
Happy?
475
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,786
Thrilled. A tie with
That would be just great.
476
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:23,089
We're leaving. It's gotta
Be something I don't
Have to put together.
477
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,524
What?
My toy.
478
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:27,894
Talk good.
Wow, we're late.
479
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,963
Oh, by the way,
Jess had a girl
In the closet.
480
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,332
What?
Come on.
Pip pip.
481
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,635
Who? What was that?
What about the closet?
482
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:41,541
Okay -- combs, rags,
Instructions,
Timer, towels, tunes.
483
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,444
All systems are go.
Now, are you sure about this?
484
00:20:44,511 --> 00:20:47,447
Will you stop?
I'll sign a waiver if you want.
485
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:49,382
Hit play, please.
486
00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:51,217
We should open a window,
Shouldn't we?
487
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,619
It's freezing outside.
488
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:54,854
The bleach is gonna stink up
The whole house.
489
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:58,725
Let it be the first clue that
Something's happened
For when my mom gets home.
490
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,561
Let the thick smell of bleach
Meet her at the doorway
491
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:02,995
Like a force that'll
Usher her
492
00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,097
Into the next chapter of
Lane kim's life!
493
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:07,667
The smell of bleach is
The smell of freedom!
494
00:21:07,734 --> 00:21:09,168
You're very dramatic today.
495
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:12,505
To hell with the floor!
Oh, that felt good to say.
496
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:15,174
You done?
Take your seat, please.
497
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:19,379
And here we go.
498
00:21:19,446 --> 00:21:20,780
How you doing?
499
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:21,848
Fine.
500
00:21:21,914 --> 00:21:22,949
Feeling good?
501
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,917
Feeling great.
This is such a catharsis.
502
00:21:24,984 --> 00:21:28,054
I have never felt so naturally
High in my life.
503
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,557
Stings a little, though.
Yeah, that happens.
504
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:32,859
But just a little.
No biggie.
505
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:35,728
More than a little, actually.
It's kind of a big little.
506
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:38,798
Just keep me posted.
In that case,
It's kind of a lot.
507
00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:41,233
Yep, yep, a lot of sting
Happening here.
508
00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,102
Try thinking about something
Else.
509
00:21:43,169 --> 00:21:44,671
God, this smells awful.
510
00:21:44,737 --> 00:21:46,339
Okay, thinking about
Something else.
511
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:49,075
Something else.
Thinking about puppy dogs.
512
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,910
Thinking about getting things
In the mail --
513
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:53,580
I love getting things in a mail.
Letters and packages.
514
00:21:53,646 --> 00:21:55,214
Got a package!
What's that?
515
00:21:55,281 --> 00:21:56,883
Jim carey says that
In "Ace ventura."
516
00:21:56,949 --> 00:22:00,653
Thinking about world events.
Lots going on there.
517
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:02,922
Thinking about the last
Movie I saw.
518
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:04,256
Vin diesel was in it.
519
00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:07,727
Thinking about where vin diesel
Got the name vin diesel.
520
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,929
Thinking about vin diesel's
Mysterious ethnicity.
521
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:11,598
Thinking about how surprising
It is
522
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,033
To have so much to think
About with vin diesel.
523
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,436
Okay, now I'm just thinking
About the pain.
524
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,070
Back to vin diesel.
525
00:22:18,137 --> 00:22:20,773
I've exhausted vin diesel, but
The pain, that's not exhausted.
526
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,610
Ever light your head on fire?
I know how it feels.
527
00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:24,844
I'll rinse it out.
528
00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,779
We'd have to start all
Over again,
529
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,448
And I'll chicken out
For sure!
530
00:22:28,515 --> 00:22:30,149
I'm getting dizzy from
The smell.
531
00:22:30,216 --> 00:22:31,418
Read the bottle.
532
00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:33,653
Tell me what to do in
Case of pain!
533
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,254
Um, blah, blah, blah.
534
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:38,290
"Do not apply to a broken
Scalp." is your scalp broken?
535
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:40,126
I don't know my scalp
That well.
536
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:41,794
There's nothing else
About pain.
537
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,598
A girl told me once if your
Scalp is hurting, drink a 7 up.
538
00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:47,867
The kim household does not
Have soft drinks!
539
00:22:47,934 --> 00:22:49,936
What do you got?
Something called
Salad water.
540
00:22:50,002 --> 00:22:52,138
Believe me,
It's nothing like 7 up!
541
00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,706
We have to open
This window.
542
00:22:53,773 --> 00:22:56,375
I have got to do
Something!
Run around the block!
543
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:57,944
Good enough for me!
544
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,915
It's so good of you both to do
This, really.
545
00:23:02,982 --> 00:23:04,617
We're happy to be here.
Right?
546
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:05,952
Zip-a-dee doo-dah.
547
00:23:06,018 --> 00:23:09,255
It must be fun to be back at
Your old alma mater.
548
00:23:09,321 --> 00:23:10,923
I'm feeling all warm
And fuzzy here.
549
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:13,860
He told me he was so excited
About today,
550
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:15,528
He couldn't sleep
Last night.
551
00:23:15,595 --> 00:23:16,929
We're all excited, too.
552
00:23:16,996 --> 00:23:19,198
It's been so long since
We saw you, lorelai.
553
00:23:19,265 --> 00:23:22,268
We had some laughs with this
One, let me tell you.
554
00:23:22,334 --> 00:23:23,503
Yeah,
She's a funny one.
555
00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:24,871
The book fair in '97 --
556
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:27,707
What you said to
That one rude customer --
557
00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:30,577
Priceless how you put him
In his place.
558
00:23:30,643 --> 00:23:33,145
Yeah, I put that man in his
Place alright. Zing!
559
00:23:33,212 --> 00:23:36,816
What you said to him!
How could anyone forget?
560
00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:38,885
"Hey, old man!
561
00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:41,020
"Stick a crowbar
In your wallet
Crowbar...Wallet...
562
00:23:41,087 --> 00:23:44,223
And cough up some dough,
'cause this is for our kids!"
563
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:45,858
You do remember!
564
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:48,427
It's emblazoned up here, debbie,
All those good times.
565
00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:51,130
Definitely.
Now, everyone's gathered.
566
00:23:51,197 --> 00:23:53,566
The vice principal will finish
Up in a second,
567
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:55,267
And then we'll call
You in.
568
00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:56,736
Lorelai, you want to
Go first?
569
00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:59,171
Yeah, sure.
Is that okay?
It's okay by me.
570
00:23:59,238 --> 00:24:01,173
Great.
See you in a minute.
571
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:05,512
I couldn't pick that woman
Out of a lineup
If my life depended on it.
572
00:24:09,916 --> 00:24:11,884
[ sighs ]
573
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,887
Will you lighten up?
No, I won't lighten up.
574
00:24:14,954 --> 00:24:16,656
Aww.
I hate this place.
575
00:24:16,723 --> 00:24:19,025
Still smells the same --
Old, repressive.
576
00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:21,994
Being back here doesn't make
You nostalgic at all?
577
00:24:22,061 --> 00:24:24,497
I liked the final bell.
That's about it.
578
00:24:24,564 --> 00:24:25,665
What are those?
579
00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:27,534
They're my notes
For the talk.
580
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:28,768
You put thought into this?
581
00:24:28,835 --> 00:24:30,269
Yeah.
Don't you have notes?
582
00:24:30,336 --> 00:24:32,505
I run a diner.
What are my notes?
583
00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:37,610
People come in, they order food,
I cook the food, I serve the
Food, they eat the food.
584
00:24:37,677 --> 00:24:39,378
Where I refill
Coffee and water.
585
00:24:39,445 --> 00:24:41,714
My big finale
Is a description
586
00:24:41,781 --> 00:24:45,084
Of the whole end-of-the-evening
Mopping-up ceremony.
587
00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,186
You're sure you don't mind me
Going first?
588
00:24:47,253 --> 00:24:51,123
There's a good chance
You'll yak so much
They won't even get to me.
589
00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:52,859
Oh, my god.
590
00:24:52,925 --> 00:24:54,360
What?
591
00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:56,529
Nothing.
Nothing at all...Butch.
592
00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:58,064
For the love of --
593
00:24:58,130 --> 00:24:59,331
What's that doing there?
594
00:24:59,398 --> 00:25:02,101
What's it doing?
It's yelling, "Mock me!
Mock me!"
595
00:25:02,168 --> 00:25:03,269
It shouldn't be there.
596
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,804
No, you're right.
597
00:25:04,871 --> 00:25:07,740
It should have its own special
Display at the diner.
598
00:25:07,807 --> 00:25:10,009
Don't they need my permission?
This should be illegal.
599
00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:12,444
Those shorts with that tank top
Should be illegal.
600
00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:13,746
Okay, stop now.
601
00:25:13,813 --> 00:25:15,548
What was your girlfriend's name?
Sissy?
602
00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:17,149
As a matter of fact, no.
603
00:25:17,216 --> 00:25:21,187
"Oh, the girls just swooned when
Butch danes took the field."
604
00:25:21,253 --> 00:25:24,390
I knew there was another good
Reason not to do this.
605
00:25:24,456 --> 00:25:26,058
"Oh, no, don't walk away,
Butch!
606
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:30,029
"If I thought you didn't care,
I'd die! I'd just die!"
607
00:25:32,899 --> 00:25:35,167
It's weird.
Like straw.
608
00:25:35,234 --> 00:25:38,638
I feel like I should be singing,
"If I only had a brain."
609
00:25:38,705 --> 00:25:40,807
Now, you feel better?
Burning's completely gone?
610
00:25:40,873 --> 00:25:43,209
Completely. I even think
The salad water's helping.
611
00:25:43,275 --> 00:25:44,944
Okay, here goes nothing.
612
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:47,814
So, have you mentioned dyeing
Your hair to the band yet?
613
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,616
No, but they've
All got tattoos.
614
00:25:49,682 --> 00:25:52,719
Dave and zack have
Musical themes,
And brian's got a snoopy.
615
00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:54,687
He's a slamming bass
Player.
616
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,756
So, you haven't even
Mentioned it to dave?
617
00:25:56,823 --> 00:25:59,425
I just said I didn't
Tell the band.
Not even dave?
618
00:25:59,491 --> 00:26:02,094
No, not even to dave.
What's with all the pressing?
619
00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:03,963
Dave's just different
From the other two.
620
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,798
Of course,
He's the de facto leader.
621
00:26:05,865 --> 00:26:08,234
I know, but also
From the day you guys met,
622
00:26:08,300 --> 00:26:09,869
There's a little something
Happening there.
623
00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:11,704
I don't know what you're
Talking about.
624
00:26:11,771 --> 00:26:13,840
You're always talking
About him,
625
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:16,008
And now with this hair
Emancipation of yours,
626
00:26:16,075 --> 00:26:17,744
You're going to unheard-of
Lengths
627
00:26:17,810 --> 00:26:19,378
To make a statement
To your mother
628
00:26:19,445 --> 00:26:22,414
So you can have a shot at
Staying in the band.
629
00:26:22,481 --> 00:26:24,316
Rory, dave and I are
Professionals.
630
00:26:24,383 --> 00:26:25,885
I know.
631
00:26:25,952 --> 00:26:27,987
The rock-'n'-roll highway
Is littered with casualties
632
00:26:28,054 --> 00:26:30,823
Of band members who have dated
And broken the band apart.
633
00:26:30,890 --> 00:26:32,625
That's a sensible attitude.
Very sensible.
634
00:26:32,692 --> 00:26:36,929
Dave and I are very sensible
People.
635
00:26:36,996 --> 00:26:38,831
I'm in love with him.
I know!
636
00:26:38,898 --> 00:26:40,366
Is it that obvious?
637
00:26:40,432 --> 00:26:43,235
Only to a guy with sunglasses
And a dog selling pencils.
638
00:26:43,302 --> 00:26:45,171
He's so cute and smart.
Definitely cute!
639
00:26:45,237 --> 00:26:48,007
That's such a rare package.
It's usually one or the other.
640
00:26:48,074 --> 00:26:50,242
It's wrong, but that's the way
It usually is.
641
00:26:50,309 --> 00:26:52,879
It increases the competition
For the daves of the world.
642
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,180
You're rare, too,
Don't forget.
643
00:26:54,246 --> 00:26:56,215
I've never really felt
This way before.
644
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:59,318
I mean, henry, yes,
But we never spent any
Real time together.
645
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:02,421
It's not just puppy love.
It's different.
646
00:27:02,488 --> 00:27:05,257
I get butterflies in my stomach
When I think about him,
647
00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:08,327
And when I call him to work out
Times for band practice,
648
00:27:08,394 --> 00:27:10,830
The ring of his telephone
Gets me really excited.
649
00:27:10,897 --> 00:27:12,865
And last week, someone said
"Dave" at school.
650
00:27:12,932 --> 00:27:14,300
It wasn't
Even about my dave,
651
00:27:14,366 --> 00:27:16,736
And I almost lost it,
I got so shaky.
652
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,637
"My dave."
That's so cute.
Stop it.
653
00:27:18,705 --> 00:27:20,172
This sounds like love
To me.
654
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,408
It does, doesn't it?
My first love. Wow.
655
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:23,876
Yeah, wow.
656
00:27:23,943 --> 00:27:27,213
I finally have a first love,
Like what you and dean have.
657
00:27:29,615 --> 00:27:31,617
Right.
658
00:27:31,684 --> 00:27:33,085
Exactly.
659
00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:35,988
Of course, I don't exactly
Have what you and dean have
660
00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:38,457
Because you love dean
And dean loves you back.
661
00:27:38,524 --> 00:27:40,026
In my situation,
I love dave,
662
00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:42,962
And dave thinks that I have
A decent sense of rhythm.
663
00:27:43,029 --> 00:27:44,263
Don't move.
You'll drip.
664
00:27:44,330 --> 00:27:46,532
God, you're so lucky
To love a guy
665
00:27:46,598 --> 00:27:49,702
Who actually knows you love him
And who loves you back.
666
00:27:49,769 --> 00:27:51,403
That's gotta be the best
Feeling ever.
667
00:27:51,470 --> 00:27:53,339
I think this purple's
Gonna look good.
668
00:27:53,405 --> 00:27:55,574
I want that.
I want that really bad.
669
00:27:55,641 --> 00:27:58,577
You will have your perfect first
Love and second love
670
00:27:58,644 --> 00:28:01,881
And any other love you want
Because you're great
671
00:28:01,948 --> 00:28:04,083
And purple heads will not be
Denied.
672
00:28:04,150 --> 00:28:06,552
Now, that should have been
Put on the box.
673
00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:08,354
Okay, now head down,
Please.
674
00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:10,222
[ sighs ]
675
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:11,657
[ door opens ]
676
00:28:11,724 --> 00:28:13,726
Okay, we're all ready
For you guys.
677
00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:16,763
Great.
Excellent.
678
00:28:16,829 --> 00:28:20,666
Okay, oh, luke, you can have
A seat here while lorelai's
Talking, okay?
679
00:28:20,733 --> 00:28:24,203
What's that?
"Luke plus sissy."
Start your speech.
680
00:28:24,270 --> 00:28:28,007
Okay, everyone, I think we're
Ready to begin.
681
00:28:28,074 --> 00:28:31,377
We have two local luminaries
Here to talk to us today.
682
00:28:31,443 --> 00:28:35,081
You probably all recognize
Luke danes
From his fabulous diner,
683
00:28:35,147 --> 00:28:37,249
But we're really excited
To begin
684
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:41,854
With a former stars hollow
High mom, lorelai gilmore.
685
00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:47,526
No, no, save it for when I wow
You with my brilliance.
686
00:28:47,593 --> 00:28:50,329
I'm really happy to be here
With you all today.
687
00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:52,999
I recognize a lot of you
From over the years,
688
00:28:53,065 --> 00:28:55,434
And you're all getting taller
And older.
689
00:28:55,501 --> 00:28:57,203
Stop it.
[ chuckles ]
690
00:28:57,269 --> 00:29:00,039
Anyhow, as some of you know,
I run the independence inn.
691
00:29:00,106 --> 00:29:02,408
Sounds simple --
"Running an inn."
692
00:29:02,474 --> 00:29:05,344
Well, the sentence is simple.
The job is not.
693
00:29:05,411 --> 00:29:08,014
Like most jobs, mine involves
Many other people,
694
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:12,284
People it is my job to hire,
To train, and to inspire,
695
00:29:12,351 --> 00:29:14,053
Because when you have good
Employees,
696
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:15,454
It makes you look good.
697
00:29:15,521 --> 00:29:17,489
Oh, questions already?
Are questions okay?
698
00:29:17,556 --> 00:29:18,891
They're encouraged.
Yes?
699
00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:20,526
You're rory gilmore's mom,
Aren't you?
700
00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:22,394
Yes, I am,
And proud of it.
701
00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:23,729
Oh.
702
00:29:23,796 --> 00:29:25,832
I hope all your questions
Are that easy.
703
00:29:25,898 --> 00:29:27,800
Why is it necessary
To inspire employees?
704
00:29:27,867 --> 00:29:31,270
Why can't you just train them
And let them do their jobs?
705
00:29:31,337 --> 00:29:32,805
Yes?
706
00:29:32,872 --> 00:29:34,874
Didn't you get pregnant
When you were 16?
707
00:29:34,941 --> 00:29:36,943
16.
It was around that age.
708
00:29:37,009 --> 00:29:38,610
16.
That's sounds right.
709
00:29:38,677 --> 00:29:40,546
Okay.
[ chuckles ]
710
00:29:40,612 --> 00:29:43,315
Different people working for you
Will have different needs.
711
00:29:43,382 --> 00:29:44,750
Yeah?
712
00:29:44,817 --> 00:29:46,252
What about school?
713
00:29:46,318 --> 00:29:48,888
Did you drop out when you got
Pregnant with rory?
714
00:29:48,955 --> 00:29:50,756
No, technically, I didn't
Drop out.
715
00:29:50,823 --> 00:29:52,825
I kept going as long
As I could,
716
00:29:52,892 --> 00:29:54,526
Which I would recommend
To any girl.
717
00:29:54,593 --> 00:29:57,396
Not the "Getting pregnant"
Part, obviously.
718
00:29:57,463 --> 00:30:02,434
Although, if that happens --
It shouldn't.
719
00:30:02,501 --> 00:30:05,337
I mean, it could, but you should
Try to avoid it.
720
00:30:05,404 --> 00:30:08,440
Anyway, uh, I got my g.E.D.
Yeah.
721
00:30:08,507 --> 00:30:11,377
Lorelai?
Why don't we move this along?
722
00:30:11,443 --> 00:30:14,313
Yes, oh, moving it along.
Okay, okay, okay.
723
00:30:14,380 --> 00:30:16,248
I should have been more
Organized here.
724
00:30:16,315 --> 00:30:17,917
Are you sorry you got
Pregnant?
725
00:30:17,984 --> 00:30:19,651
No.
It brought me rory.
726
00:30:19,718 --> 00:30:23,022
But timing is everything.
I mean, I could have --
727
00:30:23,089 --> 00:30:25,724
16.
You guys are 16, right?
728
00:30:25,791 --> 00:30:27,860
And, hey!
Is that clock right?
729
00:30:27,927 --> 00:30:29,361
What do you mean
By timing?
730
00:30:29,428 --> 00:30:32,298
If you had waited and had a baby
With another man --
731
00:30:32,364 --> 00:30:33,966
It wouldn't have been rory,
Right?
732
00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:35,701
You know what's fun?
Late check out.
733
00:30:35,767 --> 00:30:38,604
But it was good you got pregnant
Because you got rory.
734
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,839
Look, you guys, this is a very
Important subject,
735
00:30:40,907 --> 00:30:45,111
And in another time,
I would love to take you
All for a cup of coffee
736
00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:48,180
And talk about if you should
Even be allowed to drink coffee,
737
00:30:48,247 --> 00:30:50,449
Because coffee is for older --
[ sighs ]
738
00:30:50,516 --> 00:30:52,651
Butch danes, everybody.
739
00:30:52,718 --> 00:30:54,453
[ all asking questions ]
740
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:01,360
[ squeals ]
741
00:31:01,427 --> 00:31:03,896
What?
It's perfect!
I love it!
742
00:31:03,963 --> 00:31:05,932
Well, stop primping and
Get out here!
743
00:31:05,998 --> 00:31:07,833
Whoa!
744
00:31:07,900 --> 00:31:09,768
It's everything I hoped
It would be.
745
00:31:09,835 --> 00:31:11,337
It very rock 'n' roll.
746
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:15,241
We've gotta take a picture.
I am a kodak picture spot.
747
00:31:15,307 --> 00:31:17,376
Should I scowl or smile?
Surprise me.
748
00:31:17,443 --> 00:31:19,845
This is the most radical thing
A kim has done
749
00:31:19,912 --> 00:31:23,182
Since my cousin nam got caught
Reading maxim at summer camp.
750
00:31:25,784 --> 00:31:27,553
That must be your mom.
751
00:31:28,654 --> 00:31:30,356
Lane?
752
00:31:30,422 --> 00:31:33,192
Lane, you're turning white.
What's wrong?
753
00:31:33,259 --> 00:31:35,727
Lane!
I can't do this.
754
00:31:35,794 --> 00:31:37,196
Can't do what?
Dye my hair.
755
00:31:37,263 --> 00:31:39,265
It's too late.
This is gonna kill her.
756
00:31:39,331 --> 00:31:41,333
It won't kill her.
It'll just shock her.
757
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,970
And then she'll kill me.
We're talking blood bath here.
758
00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:46,238
We've gotta put it back
To black!
759
00:31:46,305 --> 00:31:47,873
Right now! Hurry!
Go! Go!
760
00:31:47,940 --> 00:31:49,208
Go where?
761
00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:51,843
Back to the store to get the
Black hair dye!
762
00:31:51,910 --> 00:31:53,145
This is insane.
763
00:31:53,212 --> 00:31:55,181
I just drank a gallon of
Liquid salad.
764
00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,616
Insanity is a daily staple at
The kim house.
765
00:31:57,683 --> 00:31:59,518
Okay, I'm going.
766
00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:02,188
Where are you going?
You're messing with my
Mind here.
767
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:05,024
You can't go out that way.
My mom will see you.
768
00:32:05,091 --> 00:32:07,659
If she sees you, she'll come
Looking for me.
769
00:32:07,726 --> 00:32:10,729
You owe me.
Big-time forever.
Now make like the wind.
770
00:32:10,796 --> 00:32:13,299
Go! Go!
Go, go, go, go!
771
00:32:13,365 --> 00:32:15,167
[ laughs ]
772
00:32:17,003 --> 00:32:19,271
Uh-huh.
773
00:32:19,338 --> 00:32:23,142
All I know is I don't have it,
So it's gotta be at your place.
774
00:32:23,209 --> 00:32:24,410
You're not looking for it.
775
00:32:24,476 --> 00:32:26,512
You're watching tv.
I can tell.
776
00:32:26,578 --> 00:32:29,781
Yeah, whatever.
I'll just get a new one.
777
00:32:29,848 --> 00:32:32,318
So what are we doing
Tonight?
778
00:32:32,384 --> 00:32:34,186
I don't know.
I'm sick of eating.
779
00:32:34,253 --> 00:32:36,655
I've been eating like a pig.
I feel all bloaty.
780
00:32:36,722 --> 00:32:39,758
It's a word 'cause I said it.
That's how words get invented.
781
00:32:39,825 --> 00:32:42,394
'cause people say 'em, and then
Other people say 'em.
782
00:32:42,461 --> 00:32:45,497
You're such a jerk sometimes,
And I'm always nice to you.
783
00:32:45,564 --> 00:32:48,167
Excuse me.
I get off at the same
Boring time.
784
00:32:48,234 --> 00:32:49,968
Excuse me?
I don't have all day.
785
00:32:50,036 --> 00:32:54,006
Hold on a sec.
Will this be all?
Yeah, that'll be all.
786
00:32:56,275 --> 00:32:58,577
I'm growing a beard here.
What's your problem?
787
00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:01,213
What's your problem?
I'm a customer,
I'm in a hurry,
788
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,848
And you're supposed
To assist me.
789
00:33:02,914 --> 00:33:04,516
I am assisting you.
790
00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:07,153
Yeah, after you took your sweet
Time getting off the phone,
791
00:33:07,219 --> 00:33:10,422
Which clearly was not a
Business call.
Un-freakin'-believable.
792
00:33:10,489 --> 00:33:14,793
Yeah, the level of service in
This place is just that --
Un-freakin'-believable.
793
00:33:14,860 --> 00:33:16,762
Have a nice day.
794
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:18,064
Yeah, thanks.
You too.
795
00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:20,666
And by the way, "Bloaty"
Is not a word.
796
00:33:20,732 --> 00:33:23,902
There's "Bloated," there's
"Bloating," but no "Bloaty."
797
00:33:23,969 --> 00:33:25,604
Thanks.
That's fascinating.
798
00:33:25,671 --> 00:33:29,041
For you, how ice is made is
Probably fascinating. See ya.
799
00:33:30,842 --> 00:33:32,378
[ door slams ]
800
00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,347
[ laughing ]
801
00:33:35,414 --> 00:33:37,683
Don't.
I'm trying not to.
I swear.
802
00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:40,719
I'm not trying hard.
I'll grant you that.
803
00:33:40,786 --> 00:33:43,789
What was with those kids, so
Curious, so full of questions?
804
00:33:43,855 --> 00:33:45,524
Shouldn't their brains be
Completely fried
805
00:33:45,591 --> 00:33:47,359
On tv and video games
By now?
806
00:33:47,426 --> 00:33:49,528
It wasn't funny.
Not from your angle.
807
00:33:49,595 --> 00:33:51,763
From mine, it was an evening
At the improv.
808
00:33:51,830 --> 00:33:55,234
I'm not gonna be allowed within
A mile of the school ever again.
809
00:33:55,301 --> 00:33:57,536
On the positive side,
You did me a favor.
810
00:33:57,603 --> 00:33:59,805
Now I have a pleasant memory
From that school --
811
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:02,974
You being nailed like a 2x4 by a
Group of 16-year-olds.
812
00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,043
Oh, no.
What's this?
813
00:34:05,111 --> 00:34:07,279
Looks like high noon in
Stars hollow.
814
00:34:07,346 --> 00:34:09,615
They're not carrying tar
And feathers, are they?
815
00:34:09,681 --> 00:34:11,617
Oh, hi, everybody!
816
00:34:11,683 --> 00:34:14,453
Wow, it's the whole gang!
What's up?
817
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:17,256
Oh, I felt obligated
To tell the other moms
818
00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:19,258
About your little
Performance at school
819
00:34:19,325 --> 00:34:20,926
Before they heard about it
Elsewhere.
820
00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:24,029
Usually, I like to meet up at
Sardi's after a performance.
821
00:34:24,096 --> 00:34:26,998
Wait for the reviews.
I hope the times liked me.
822
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,201
Huh! Nothing, huh?
823
00:34:29,268 --> 00:34:30,702
So you're preaching
To our daughters
824
00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:32,938
That it's okay to get
Pregnant at 16.
825
00:34:33,004 --> 00:34:34,273
Am I getting that right?
826
00:34:34,340 --> 00:34:36,508
No, not at all.
I was answering their questions.
827
00:34:36,575 --> 00:34:38,377
It's your answers we
Didn't like.
828
00:34:38,444 --> 00:34:40,246
I was talking about
My job
829
00:34:40,312 --> 00:34:44,116
But your kids kept asking
About my pregnancy.
What was I supposed to do?
830
00:34:44,183 --> 00:34:45,684
Fend them off!
Change the subject!
831
00:34:45,751 --> 00:34:49,020
They kept coming at me like I
Was poland and they were nazis.
832
00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:52,291
Remember the old days, girls,
When I used to make you laugh?
833
00:34:52,358 --> 00:34:53,659
There's nothing funny
About this.
834
00:34:53,725 --> 00:34:55,727
Their questions
Just threw me off, that's all.
835
00:34:55,794 --> 00:34:57,563
Sounds like you just flaunted
Your mistakes.
836
00:34:57,629 --> 00:35:00,132
Now, hold on.
You have no right to judge me.
837
00:35:00,199 --> 00:35:03,702
All I said was that for my
Particular circumstances,
Things worked out okay.
838
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:07,306
I advocated nothing.
You're all acting like
I walked into that room
839
00:35:07,373 --> 00:35:08,740
Tossing condoms in the air.
840
00:35:08,807 --> 00:35:10,041
You might as well have.
841
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:11,710
Fine, next time,
I'll bring a banana,
842
00:35:11,777 --> 00:35:14,546
And we'll have a little
Show and tell!
How about that?
843
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:16,215
What kind of mother
Are you?
844
00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,849
The kind that doesn't gloss
Over things
845
00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:19,751
Just because they're a little
Uncomfortable.
846
00:35:19,818 --> 00:35:22,921
This whole incident was
Awkward and unnecessary.
847
00:35:22,988 --> 00:35:26,658
No, deb, I'd say, deb, that
What's awkward and unnecessary,
848
00:35:26,725 --> 00:35:30,262
Deb, is that you all seem to go
To the same lousy hairdresser.
849
00:35:30,329 --> 00:35:32,531
How about mixing it up
A little, huh, girls?
850
00:35:32,598 --> 00:35:35,367
I gotta get going.
You good here?
Yeah, yeah, I'm good.
851
00:35:35,434 --> 00:35:36,935
Don't take that tone.
852
00:35:37,002 --> 00:35:40,672
You ambush me, then you're
Offended by my tone?
853
00:35:40,739 --> 00:35:42,040
Hey.
Hey.
854
00:35:42,107 --> 00:35:45,143
So what's going on out
There?
855
00:35:45,211 --> 00:35:48,580
Oh, just lorelai dealing
With some women
856
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:51,317
About something
Or other.
857
00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:53,585
So I did that thing
At the school today.
858
00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:55,854
Yeah,
It went pretty well.
859
00:35:55,921 --> 00:35:58,790
All the kids seemed
Relatively unarmed.
860
00:36:02,461 --> 00:36:04,863
I just told 'em about the diner
And cooking things,
861
00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:09,235
And I expect kids all over town
Will rush out tomorrow
862
00:36:09,301 --> 00:36:10,402
And buy a spatula.
863
00:36:10,469 --> 00:36:12,003
Checking for monsters?
864
00:36:12,070 --> 00:36:15,341
No, just didn't want to
Accidentally bump into someone.
865
00:36:15,407 --> 00:36:16,842
What are you talking
About?
866
00:36:16,908 --> 00:36:19,545
Jess, did you have a girl
Stashed in there before?
867
00:36:19,611 --> 00:36:21,913
Lorelai said you were hiding
Someone here earlier.
868
00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:24,082
Were you?
Yes.
869
00:36:24,149 --> 00:36:26,117
Jess, you don't shove a girl
In a closet.
870
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:29,588
I did not shove
Her in the closet.
She got in voluntarily.
871
00:36:29,655 --> 00:36:30,856
Oh, sure.
872
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:33,859
Shane freaked, next thing I
Know she's in there.
873
00:36:33,925 --> 00:36:36,695
I personally didn't care
If you guys saw us or not.
874
00:36:36,762 --> 00:36:39,765
But, hey, women, right?
You can't live with 'em.
875
00:36:39,831 --> 00:36:42,234
You can't keep 'em
From jumping in the closet.
876
00:36:42,301 --> 00:36:45,504
You and I have got to have
A little talk.
877
00:36:45,571 --> 00:36:48,073
Hey, if you're gonna get all
Ward cleaver on me,
878
00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:51,777
I gotta go call eddie and lumpy
And tell 'em I'm gonna be late.
879
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:53,679
Shut up for a second,
Would ya?
880
00:36:53,745 --> 00:36:57,148
Look, I know you're at an age
Where the whole girl thing is,
881
00:36:57,215 --> 00:36:58,950
You know,
On your mind a lot,
882
00:36:59,017 --> 00:37:01,186
And it's probably not helping
You to think straight
883
00:37:01,253 --> 00:37:03,922
With all the hormones and
Other things that are raging.
884
00:37:03,989 --> 00:37:09,027
My point is, you gotta
Think about things a
Little better, you know?
885
00:37:09,094 --> 00:37:10,662
The way you act.
886
00:37:10,729 --> 00:37:15,100
If you care about a girl the way
You do with this shane --
887
00:37:15,166 --> 00:37:16,835
I don't care about her.
What?
888
00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:18,704
I don't even know her
Last name.
889
00:37:18,770 --> 00:37:21,239
You're kidding.
She mentioned it once.
Didn't stick.
890
00:37:21,307 --> 00:37:22,874
What are you doing
With her?
891
00:37:22,941 --> 00:37:24,843
Just hanging with her.
No biggie.
892
00:37:24,910 --> 00:37:27,279
You gotta be doing something
More than hanging with her.
893
00:37:27,346 --> 00:37:31,750
You have to at least be doing
Something with her
To make her jump in a closet.
894
00:37:31,817 --> 00:37:33,885
Relax, will you?
All's good.
895
00:37:33,952 --> 00:37:36,355
You can't treat a girl
Like this, like dirt!
896
00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:38,390
She treats me
Like dirt, too.
897
00:37:38,457 --> 00:37:39,991
It's a pretty
Symbiotic relationship.
898
00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:43,862
And that's fine with you to just
Go along in a relationship,
899
00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:46,898
You treat somebody bad, and they
Treat you bad back.
900
00:37:46,965 --> 00:37:48,133
That's right.
901
00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:49,468
That makes you happy?
902
00:37:49,535 --> 00:37:51,737
I'd do backflips,
But I am way too cool.
903
00:37:51,803 --> 00:37:53,405
That makes absolutely
No sense.
904
00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:55,040
Doesn't have to make
Sense to you.
905
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,876
There are plenty of other girls
Out there in the world.
906
00:37:57,943 --> 00:38:01,913
You could go out and
At least find one that
You actually care about.
907
00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:03,214
Like it's that easy.
908
00:38:03,281 --> 00:38:04,816
It's that easy if you try.
909
00:38:04,883 --> 00:38:07,686
The girls that I like don't
Give a damn about me,
910
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:10,956
And unlike some other
People I know, I'm not
Gonna sit around hoping
911
00:38:11,022 --> 00:38:13,392
That they change their minds
And suddenly notice me.
912
00:38:13,459 --> 00:38:14,660
What's that supposed
To mean?
913
00:38:14,726 --> 00:38:16,194
You fixed any neighbor's
Porches lately
914
00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:19,465
Or you go on a picnic
Or you get rooked into giving
915
00:38:19,531 --> 00:38:21,299
A ridiculous speech
At a high school?
916
00:38:21,367 --> 00:38:23,201
At least I've got
A little self-esteem.
917
00:38:23,268 --> 00:38:25,871
Shut up.
I'm not playing golden
Retriever hoping someday,
918
00:38:25,937 --> 00:38:27,906
She'll turn around and fall
In my arms.
919
00:38:27,973 --> 00:38:30,542
If she doesn't want to
Be with me, then fine!
920
00:38:30,609 --> 00:38:32,678
You have no idea what you're
Talking about.
921
00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:34,413
Whatever.
I gotta go. Shane's waiting.
922
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,147
You mean what's her name?
923
00:38:36,214 --> 00:38:40,386
Yeah, I'll bring you a new leash
When I get back.
Get out of here.
924
00:38:40,452 --> 00:38:41,820
[ door closes ]
925
00:38:43,321 --> 00:38:45,691
Busy day.
Busy day.
I'm pretty exhausted.
926
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:50,195
I guess it was just too big
Of a statement
For me to make right now.
927
00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:51,830
Maybe.
I just thought of something.
928
00:38:51,897 --> 00:38:55,000
Technically,
You have dyed hair.
929
00:38:55,066 --> 00:38:56,435
I do, don't I?
Yeah.
930
00:38:56,502 --> 00:38:59,104
Dyed my natural color, yes,
But dyed nonetheless.
931
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,973
Not one strand of real color
On that head of yours.
932
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,444
So, I guess that means we can
Score this as a victory, right?
933
00:39:05,511 --> 00:39:07,879
Absolutely.
Put it in the victory column.
934
00:39:11,717 --> 00:39:13,452
That girl's a freak.
935
00:39:15,020 --> 00:39:16,354
What was that about?
936
00:39:16,422 --> 00:39:18,156
It's been a very long
Day.
937
00:39:18,223 --> 00:39:20,225
People who like me!
Great!
938
00:39:20,291 --> 00:39:22,027
How was your talk at
The school?
939
00:39:22,093 --> 00:39:24,329
Just peachy.
Is your hair blacker?
940
00:39:24,396 --> 00:39:25,997
I wish you hadn't have
Said that.
941
00:39:26,064 --> 00:39:28,333
It's not noticeable.
Stay out of bright lighting.
942
00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:29,635
What happened?
943
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,937
I dyed my hair.
Then I dyed it back.
944
00:39:32,003 --> 00:39:34,573
But for a full 30 minutes,
I looked like this.
945
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,742
Whoa! You looked cool.
You're insane.
946
00:39:36,808 --> 00:39:39,578
I got sane again, but I will
Always have that picture.
947
00:39:39,645 --> 00:39:41,179
Oh, hide it at your
Place?
948
00:39:41,246 --> 00:39:43,849
I gotta go, and remember,
We still need a plan.
949
00:39:43,915 --> 00:39:46,117
Yes, we do.
Why do we need a plan?
950
00:39:46,184 --> 00:39:48,954
A plan so that lane doesn't have
To quit her band.
951
00:39:49,020 --> 00:39:52,424
Lane has to get famous and
Introduce me to bono!
Alright, let's go eat.
952
00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:56,728
Let's see if we can figure
Out a way to salvage
My future as a groupie.
953
00:39:56,795 --> 00:39:58,363
Let's go to
Al's pancake world.
954
00:39:58,430 --> 00:40:00,031
He's doing a salute
To jamaica again.
955
00:40:00,098 --> 00:40:02,501
As long as al doesn't play
The kettle drums.
956
00:40:02,568 --> 00:40:04,870
We'll hide his mallets
When he's not looking.
957
00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:07,138
So, come on, tell me how
The talk went.
958
00:40:07,205 --> 00:40:10,976
It was one minute on my success
In the business world,
959
00:40:11,042 --> 00:40:14,112
And it was 10 minutes
On the possibility
960
00:40:14,179 --> 00:40:16,748
That if I had had sex
With a different man
961
00:40:16,815 --> 00:40:18,450
You wouldn't have been born.
962
00:40:18,517 --> 00:40:20,486
I kind of got off on
A tangent.
963
00:40:20,552 --> 00:40:22,420
A big one.
How did that happen?
964
00:40:22,488 --> 00:40:24,055
I'll tell you about it
At al's.
965
00:40:24,122 --> 00:40:26,892
Just don't expect to be invited
To any more swim parties.
966
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:28,827
Don't wait till al's.
Tell me now.
967
00:40:28,894 --> 00:40:30,796
Oh, I just love
My little fluke!
968
00:40:30,862 --> 00:40:32,531
Come on, what happened?
969
00:40:32,598 --> 00:40:35,901
Alright, well, it started
Off really good,
And then all these kids
970
00:40:35,967 --> 00:40:38,770
Started asking me
All these questions
You know about like...
76880
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