All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S03E02 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]1

Well, this is nice,
Isn't it?

So, grandma, grandpa
Is traveling again, huh?

Yes, he is.
Business must be good.

Seems to be.
That's great.

Isn't that great, mom?

A jig is forthcoming.

Mom's business
Is great, too.

I mean, not that it's without
Its problems, you know,

But they're usually funny
Problems, like, um --

Oh, mom, why don't you tell
Grandma about the mouse?

What mouse?
Mom?

[ sighs ]

There's a mouse at the inn.
Is the place dirty?

No. It's just surrounded
By this thing called nature,

And mice happen.

Mice carry diseases.

It's a tiny little
Field mouse, mom.

It's still a rodent.
Let's just change
The subject.

You should set a trap.
It's covered.

Make sure
You don't use poison.
Got it covered.

They'll eat the poison,
Go in the walls and die,

Decompose,
And the entire place will smell.

I've got it covered,
But thanks.

I don't know why you're
With an attitude.

I should be mad.
Let's not do this, mom.

You're the one who walked out
Last week without saying a word.

Your father and I
Were shocked and upset.
What else is new?

You didn't give us time
To digest the news.
Find the "Off" switch.

You dumped it on us
And walked out.
That's hardly fair.

Mom, it doesn't matter.
It's over.

Let's just move on, okay?

We came here
For a nice evening,

So, come on,
Let's have it.

Something smells good.

Braised lamb shank.
Oh, braised lamb shank.

I love a lamb shank
When it is braised.
Oh, my god.

Reading in front of other people
Is extremely rude, lorelai.

Shauna christie
Shot her husband.
What?

You remember shauna christie.

Yes, I remember shauna christie.
She was a lovely girl.

She came home
To find her husband giving
The nanny a nice bonus.

They say good help
Is hard to find.

That's just gossip.

Gossip?
The man was shot 35 times.

He looks like
A sprinkler system.

I can't believe this.

Shauna was always
Such a nice girl.

She was bright, cultured,
Well-spoken.

And apparently
A big annie oakley fan.

This is not funny.
The woman committed a crime.

This is a tragedy.
My bad. Sorry.

A man is dead,
A young woman ruined.
Consider the subject dropped.

At least she had a husband
To kill.

This is nice...
Isn't it?

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to *

* if you need *

* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow *

* oh, oh, oh *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need *

* if you need *

* you need me to be with you *

* I will follow where you lead *

[ sneezes ]
Bless you.

Thank you. Ugh.
I hate having a cold.

I know you do.

It's bad enough being sick,
But anybody can have a cold.

I know they can.

I mean, I'd like to have
A good illness --

Something different,
Impressive.

Once I'd like
To be able to say,

"I'm not feeling so good.
My leg is haunted."

There's a reason why
You take one packet
Of theraflu.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Pancakes, one fried egg,
Side of bacon,

Chicken noodle soup,
Side of mashed potatoes.

Thanks, luke.
Thanks.

How's the cold coming?
It's fine.

Any better?
It's fine.

That's the third day you've
Ordered soup for breakfast.

You know what helps
Rid a cold?

Endless, vague questioning?

A healthy immune system.
My second guess.

You know how you get
A healthy immune system?
Remember when you hated me?

Is it eating nothing but crap

And blowing out your brain cells
With coffee?

No.
That's right -- no.

Why are you helping him?
"No" seemed like
The right answer.

Eat a vegetable now and then,
Maybe some high-fiber cereal
In the morning --

Listen, grandpa,
My soup's getting cold.

At least eat the carrots
In the soup this time.

I promise.
Eat my carrots.

Apparently maturity
Is extremely overrated
In your universe.

The empress bo-bo belle
Forbids it. Eat.

Hey.
Hey.

So...
One sec.

Jess...

Relax. I'm out!

Let's go.
Okay.

An entire conversation
In 10 words or less.

A true meeting of the minds.

Okay, so, uh,
Please don't hate me,

But I already ate breakfast.

See?
Nice, full sentences.
What?

Don't ruin it.

You're sure?
Positive.

It ran right across the lobby
And into the fireplace.
I don't see it.

It must have found a hole
To crawl into.

I cannot have this mouse
Running around the inn.
Customers will freak.

Tell them it's a baby.
They'll talk to it
In funny voices.

Did you call
An exterminator?

Why no..
What a wonderful idea.

I was actually going to fasten
A wedge of cheese to my head

And lay on the ground until
Mickey decides to crawl out
And snack on my face.

When does he get here?
We are the first stop.

What do we do until then?
Make cat sounds.

Excuse me, lorelai.

Oh, hey, kirk.
Hold on a sec.

Just stand here and make sure
It doesn't come out.

Oh, goody.
A promotion.

What can
I do for you?

I have a delivery
For sookie.

Oh, well!
Anything good?

No, just some wedding photos.

She stepped out
For a minute.
I'll take them to her.

I swear,
I'll give them to her.

If you want,
I'll leave and find her
And then I'll give them to her.

No, that won't be necessary.
Okay, well...

Uh, lorelai, could I speak
To you for a moment?
Oh, sure.

Could we sit?

Sit? Sure.
Let's sit.

Is everything okay?

Okay?
Yes.

With me?
Yes.

Well, my mother has developed
A condition.

It makes her knees enormous.

Yesterday I cut holes
In her pants so she could sit,

But other than that,
Everything is fine.

Well, good.
I'm glad.

Okay, well, I'm --

I was just wondering --

Yes? Wondering what?

We've known each other
For a good amount of time now.

Our paths have crossed
Professionally and socially
A number of times,

All with relatively
Pleasant results,
And, well...

I was wondering if you
Would have dinner with me.

Oh.

In two weeks.

Two weeks?
I heard you have a cold.

Two weeks for the virus
To leave your system.

Well, kirk, I --

I know this is completely
Out of the blue for you.

Take a few days
And think about it.
Kirk, wait.

By the way, I think you
Might be the prettiest girl
I've ever seen --

Outside of a really filthy
Magazine.

Thank you.

Don't.

I am doing nothing.

Ben, however, has dropped dead
From laughter.

How long have
You been there?

Not long -- an hour...
And a half.

Why?
Because.

Because why?
Because...

Today is the last
First day of high school
You're ever gonna have!

You're insane.
I'm not insane.

I'm just sentimental,
And you're grown.

I'm not grown.
Yes, you are.

You're all grown up,
And soon you'll be going
Off into the world.

Not yet.
But soon.

And after you spread
Those wings and fly away,

I won't have the opportunity
To give you this.

What is it?
It's your bill.

My what?
Yeah.

I've been crunching
The numbers --

Adding up what you've cost me
Over the years,

Raising you, clothing you,
Feeding you,

Et cetera, et cetera,
Et cetera.

I've itemized everything
By years and income ratio.

You could factor it
Into your student loan.
Oh, boy.

One thing that's painfully
Obvious here --

You've used an extraordinary
Number of diapers.

I'm gonna take shower.
Really, it cost a fortune.

What were you using
All those diapers for?

I was building my
"Make mommy go away" castle.

You got home late last night,
And I couldn't talk to you.

I got home at 10:00,
And you were asleep.

I was trying to watch
"The legend of bagger vance."

Okay, what did I miss?
Okay.

Kirk asked me out.
Shut up.

Yesterday he asked
Me to dinner.

That's so sweet.
Sweet?!

Wear your dress with the ponies.
I bet he likes ponies.

I cannot go out with kirk!

Why?
Why?

He -- he's kirk!

As long
As he loves you --
You're not serious.

I just want you to be happy.
"This is my stepfather, kirk.

Don't make any sudden movements.
He's a fear biter."

How will you let him down?

That's why I needed
To talk to you.
You're the nice one.

Tell him you're not
Interested
And want to be friends.

That sounds lame.
You could tell him
You're involved with someone.

Because my karma's so great
In that area, I can jinx it
With that lie.

Okay. You figure it out.

All right.
We're gonna have to move....
...Okay.

Take off in the night,
Leave everything behind,
Assume different identities.

I'll join community theater,
And I'll drive you to soccer.

It'll work for years,
Until the fbi comes,

By then, you're on your own.
I don't play soccer.

You do now.

[ chuckles ]

Stop.
It's funny.

It's not funny, it's bad.
I have to see this guy.

He works at every business
In town.

You should marry him
And move in with his mother.

I'll handle it myself.
Just trying to help.

You have your swearing-in
Ceremony today.

At 3:00.
Don't be late.
I won't be late.

I have something
To tell you.
About vince foster?

It's about grandma.
She's coming today.

No!
Mom, I'm sorry.

She found out about it.
And you said yes?

She's my grandmother.
What am I supposed to say?
So.

"Sorry, grandma, if my mother
Sees you, she'll run screaming."

You'll be listening
To the ceremony.
You'll hardly have to talk.

Rory...

Hey, we are family.

Look how great that
Worked out for sister sledge.

I'm gonna shower.
You'll be pouting
Out here when I'm done?

Nope, gotta go to work.
See you this afternoon.
At 3:00.

There's my little vice-president
Off to rule the world.

Paris will be ruling the world.
I will be holding her keys.

I'm still proud of you.
I appreciate it.

You have power, brains. Now all
You need is a dim-witted,
Drunken relative

To constantly humiliate you
While you serve in office.

Will you work on that for me?
Two steps ahead of you.

Aah! Time!
3:01.

No! Oh, man! Not fair!
Stupid traffic lights!

That's okay.
It starts at 3:15.

But I so tried --
You lied to me.
Did I?

You said it was at 3:00.
It's at 3:15!

Well, I guess I did.
Ah! That's it!

I'm standing during your speech
And demanding a recount!

Shall we seat you?
Betrayed, lied to,
And humiliated.

Get used to it.
I am in politics now.

Hey, where's, uh --
She's not here yet.

You told her the real time.
Grandma can handle structure.

How's this?
Fine.

Sit and put your purse on that
Chair to save it for grandma.

Oh, yeah, great idea.

Mom...
Fine, yes.
Saving the seat.

There -- all saved.

I'll meet you outside
Afterwards, okay?

Okay. Remember three things
While you're up there --

I love you,
You're the greatest
In the world,

And you're in a skirt.
Keep your knees closed.
Bye.

When I was in school,
Linda lea was class treasurer.

She couldn't keep them
Closed if they were magnetized.

Hanes should have given her
An endorsement deal.

[ sighs ]

Lorelai.

Hi, mom.

You could have put
Your handbag there
To save my seat.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I welcome you.

Assemblies like this
Are always happy ones for me --

Initiating in a new group
Of school leaders.

Chilton's always prided itself

On the quality
Of its student government,

And this year
We may have outdone ourselves.

These young men
And women up here

Represent
The best and the brightest

Of what this school
Has to offer.

Ladies and gentlemen,
It gives me great pleasure

To present to you your
Student-body government of 2003.

[ applause ]

...A larger awareness
Of the world around us --

Problems that not only face us
Here at school

But also
When we leave school

And, more importantly,

Will face the next generation
That follows us.

We must learn that our actions
Have consequences,

That someone else
Will have to clean up our mess.

We need to figure out how to
Make that mess a little smaller.

If a small fraction of these
Can be accomplished this year,

Then our administration
Has done its job.

Thank you.

[ applause ]

In the past,
All great empires have fallen.

The feeling seems to be
That it's inevitable,

That something like what
The romans built cannot last.
Maybe they're right.

Maybe there is no way
Of keeping something that
Prosperous permanently.

Maybe there is no way
Of keeping our legacy
From becoming obsolete.

Well, I intend to fly
In the face of such thinking,

Damn it, I will succeed.

I don't want to come
Back here 20 years from now

And find this place turned
Into a high-priced charm school,

Pink and white with big
Cheerleading megaphones
Painted on the walls.

I wouldn't be able to take it.

I would have to dismantle
The place stone by stone
With my bare hands.

Together:
...So let it be forever.

Congratulations and good luck.

Is rory coming out?

That's what she said.

It was a nice ceremony.
Yes, it was.

Long.
Very long.

The longest.

Lorelai --

Hey.

You're both here!
Yeah, we're here.

We wouldn't have missed it
For the world.

You looked wonderful, rory.

Yeah, good job
With the knees.

I'll run to my locker
And get my backpack.

I'll be here.
Bye, grandma.

You don't have to wait, mom,
If you have things to do.

Oh. Well, all right.

Lorelai, I was wondering
If we could have lunch.

Lunch?
Yes, just the two of us.

Oh. Well --
Tomorrow would be good
For me.

Lunch tomorrow.
Lunch with you tomorrow.

We could do it
Anywhere you like --

Perhaps that luke's diner
You two love so much.

Lunch at luke's with you?

I can't even put
The visual together.

I can meet you at 1:00.
1:00. Well --

If 1:00 isn't good,
You pick a time.

All right.
1:00 at luke's.

Wonderful.
I'll see you then.

Look, lets face it,
The last administration

Might as well been
Running around yelling, "Toga!"

For all the things
They accomplished.

But this year
Everything changes,

Starting with the library.

It's completely out of
Proportion with its subjects.

I mean, there's 500 volumes
On the french revolution,

Yet only three on the crusades.

How do they expect us
A decent education

With inferior resources
Like that?

Huh. Seems like
The hour's almost up.

Okay, this has been

An extremely successful
First gathering.

I appreciate all
The class presidents coming

And being on time.

Before I adjourn
This meeting,

Is there anything
Anyone would like to say?

People's names
Might have been nice.

I have something
I'd like to be discussed.

Oh. Okay.

We only have
A couple minutes,

Give us the reader's
Digest version.

As president
Of the senior class,

A certain problem has been
Brought to my attention.

For the past 30 years,
The chilton regulations
Have stated,

Skirts must be no higher
Than 3/4 of an inch
Above the knee.

That's it. Any higher,
The student gets written up.

I propose for
An immediate vote

An amendment to raise hemlines
An additional inch and a half.

Hemlines?
That's right.

That's the major issue
On the senior class's mind?

It's one
Of the major issues, yes.

Well, okay.
Thank you, francie,

For giving us something really
Important to mull over here.

I anticipate
A lot of sleepless nights

For all the people
In this room.

I will take it under advisement
And get back to you.

Oh. Okay.
Fine. Thanks.

Now, if that's it,
I officially call
The first meeting

Of the chilton student-body
Presidents to a close.

I'll see you all friday.

What idiot gave her a gavel?

Okay. See, the whole point
Of having an informal
Get-to-know-you gathering

Was actually to have an informal
Get-to-know-you gathering.

What's your point?
You just spent an hour
Talking about your agenda.

I'm student-body president.
That's my job.

But we got doughnuts.
We didn't touch the doughnuts.

The doughnuts are sitting
Next to the coffee which was
Never passed out.

We were supposed to talk, bond,
Get to know each other.

We've been sitting
Together for 60 minutes.

What do you want, a ring?

Hi. Excuse me, paris.

I just wanted to say on behalf
Of the entire senior class,
Congratulations on your win.

I'm really looking forward
To working very closely
With you this year.

Thanks.

Okay. See you later.

Bye, rory. You two will make
A great team.

Yes. The jerseys
Are coming on friday.

Okay. I'm gonna draft a demand
For the librarian's
Resignation tonight.

You want to read it
The first thing
You want to do in office

Is get
A 93-year-old woman sacked?

At least I'm not
Putting her on an iceberg
And shoving her to sea,

Which, considering you can't
Find the shakespeare section
Without psychic powers

Yet the cliffs notes rack
Smacks you in the face.

It's totally justified.

And we're off.

Okay. I just got a message
That a vegetarian menu
Was requested for tonight.

Yeah, lassanos,
Party of five at 8:00.

I thought you said
You weren't gonna let
Vegetarians in here anymore.

No, you said you weren't letting
Vegetarians in.

I'm making my baked
Stuffed pork chops for tonight.

Make something else
For the lassanos.
Like what?

I don't know -- pasta.
You make great pasta.

But that's boring.
Anyone can make pasta.

I'm an artist. You don't dictate
To an artist. You don't tell
Them what to do.

No one walks up to degas and
Said, "Hey, easy with the
Dancers. Enough already.

Draw a nice fruit bowl
Once in a while."

A great artist can make art
Out of anything,
Including pasta.

Fine, pasta. Whoo-hoo.

Is there coffee?
Just made some.

So, today's your lunch
With emily.

Any idea
What she's gonna say?

I bet it's not,
"I'm joining the circus.

Feed your father
Until I get back."
I should cancel.

You can't! You're meeting
In an hour.

But this goes
Against every rule I have

In the gilmore survival guide.

Number one --
No running with scissors,

Number two --
No pageboy haircuts,

Number three -- never, ever have
Lunch alone with the mother.

It might not
Be so bad.

Saying yes to this lunch

Is like saying, "Sounds fun"
To a ride with clemenza.

Think good thoughts.
She could surprise you.

I guess.

People change, you know.
They do it every day.

One minute,
You could be,

Oh, let's say a vegetarian,
And the next minute,

You could accidentally have
A bite of a stuffed pork chop

That changes
Your entire way of thinking.

Sookie...
Suddenly life's fun.

There's a reason
To get up in the morning.
It's called "Bacon"!

Forget it!
Come on!

Pasta.
Let the people grow,
Damn it!

Rory, hi.
Nice of you to join us.

Francie, I --
No, I talk, okay? Great.

Now, let's discuss paris.
What about her?

She seems to have
The very strange idea

That she's actually
In charge around here,

I thought it would
Be good to let you in
On a little secret.

She's not.
Tell her this yourself.

Talking to paris
Is like shopping for
A bathing suit in december --

Frustrating, fruitless,
And a complete waste of time.

No. You.

You might be the wallflower,

But you're obviously
The meyer lansky
Behind this organization.

I am not the meyer lansky.
What's that noise?

What is that noise?

Oh, wait --
It's me still talking.

Didn't you hear it?
Obviously not.

Anyhow, paris is
Student-body president.

Big, fat deal.

There are three other
Class presidents --

The junior-class president,
The sophomore-class president,

And, oh, yes,
The senior-class president, me.

I know all this.
Then it's off
The short bus for you.

If paris thinks
She's gonna march around

Dictating mandates
And ignoring what I have to say,

Then she's in
For a major bikini wax.

Thanks for the visual.

Without me, she's nothing,

Just another power-mad,
Insecure, friendless, dateless,
Highlight less loser

Wandering around trying
To make someone care they exist.

Which, no one does.

I control the senior class.

I am also the leader
Of the puffs,

The most exclusive society
On this campus.

I can make her life
A living hell.
Francie, she's just --

I can make sure
She leads the student body

In whatever the pledge
Of allegiance happens to be
Constitutional at the time.

What can I do?

I want you to go
Back to margaret thatcher

And tell her to play ball.

She's gonna support
The hemline issue

And any other issue
I bring up for
The rest of the year.

Otherwise, I'll make her
So ineffectual,

She'll make jimmy carter
Look like martin sheen.
Do you get me?

We're supposed to be
Representing the interests
Of the student body.

We're not supposed to be
Brokering back-door deals

And pushing through agendas
With intimidation and bribery.

What are we,
French skating judges?

Wise up, goldilocks.
My hair's brown.

This is politics.

If you've got a problem,
Tell it to noam chomsky.

I live in the real world.
Now, blow.

Oh, and I would keep this
Conversation between you and me.

Paris tends to get
Paranoid when there's other
Mammals at the watering hole.

So her finding out that
You were conferring with me

Might not make your
Vice-presidency any easier.

I am not conferring with you.

A hand came out
And pulled me in.

What are you talking about?
You sought me out

Because you thought paris
Was out of line today,

And you wanted to make sure

My very delicate feelings
Weren't hurt.

You are so sweet
To think of me.

I feel better now that
You're on my side.

Bye, see you
At the hemster.

[ sighs ]

What are you doing here?
I came for the warmth.

You're not usually here
At this time.

I'm meeting someone
For lunch.

Oh. Kirk?
What?

You meeting kirk?
Why would you say that?

I know he asked you out,
So I assumed.
How do you know?

He told me.
He did?

Yesterday.
Oh, my god.

Relax.
I think it's great.

Why would he tell you?

He came to me for advice.
About what?

Whether or not
He had a shot.

I know you.
I've been to your house.

I know whether or not
You have stain-resistant rugs.

When he found out
You had wood floors,
He seemed very pleased.

I told him you liked movies.

And, of course,
Talking incessantly,
But we both agreed

That there's nothing
Like some good lovin'
To shut a person up.

Can you bring me
A sharper fork?

I'm not sure this will
Go through your hand.

I know it's new, you probably
Don't want to jinx it,

I won't talk about it anymore.
But I have to tell you,

Seeing that guy's face
When he was talking about you,

He almost had an expression.
Far, far away from me.

* love is in the air *

Ha!

Why are you throwing cutlery
In a public place?

'cause I feel stupid
Doing it at home.

I'm sorry I'm late.
There was traffic.

If I was in time
There would still be
The possibility of soup.

I haven't been here long.
I still have a knife.
Glad to hear it.

You gonna sit?
Yes, of course.

There we go.
Well, this is nice.

You can see the whole
Town from here.

Yes. You can.
I can see why you come here.

It must be fun to just sit
And people-watch.

Well, let's see what
They've got, shall we?

Oh. Caesar salad.
Is that good here?

I'm sure it is.
You've never had it?

Has rory?
No.

Oh. Well, caesar salad
Can be extremely unsafe

If they use bad eggs.
Get something else.

Of course, if they're coddled,
It would be fine.

Do they coddle
The eggs here?
I have no idea.

Why don't you ask luke?
He'll just say they are.

I'll have a cobb salad.
What will you have?

Caesar salad with extra
Uncoddled eggs on the side.

Would a serious answer once
In a while kill you?

I'm sorry, mom.
Honestly, I'm a little confused.

About what?
About this.

What's confusing?
We're having lunch.

I know we're having lunch,
But we usually don't.

Especially not in my town
At luke's diner.

I figured you had work,
It would be easier on you.
Okay. That's fine.

You two ready to order?

Yes. How is your caesar salad
Dressing prepared?

I'll have to call paul newman
And ask him.

A cobb salad
And an iced tea.

Cheeseburger, fries, onion
Rings, and a cherry coke.

Any pie today?
No thanks.

Cutting back a little. Trying
To look good for the big day.
Smart. Very smart.

Make sure you check that
Frying oil with your face.

What was that all about?
Nothing. Just a little
Small-town charm.

Now, please, mom, tell me,
Why did you ask me to lunch?

Because I wanted to spend some
Time alone with my daughter.

Mom...
Rory drops by after school
Every now and then,

So we see her alone.

Mom...
But we never see you alone,

Unless rory leaves the room.
Even then, you go with her.

If I had a nickel
For when you've used

"Girls always go to the
Bathroom together" line,

I'd be a very rich.
You are a very rich. Is this
Really a me-and-you lunch?

No hidden agenda?
Of course not.

Okay. Fine.

I talked to christopher.
What?

I called him last week.
We talked for a long time.

And I have to tell you, he is
Not in love with that woman.

He never said it, I could tell
From his voice, he'd rather
Be with you.

Are you out of your mind?
You need to talk.

That would be a yes.
All he needs is to hear
Is that you want this.

Mom, what the hell are you
Doing calling christopher?

Well, somebody had to.

No.
Somebody didn't have to.

I wasn't
Going to just sit by

And watch this situation
Explode.

You two belong together.
It took you years
To figure that out.

Now that you have it,
You can't let it go

Just because of a little
Complication.

Mom, his girlfriend
Is pregnant.

That is more than
A little complication.

Women have gotten pregnant
Since the beginning of time.

Before I resort to the
Totally called for "Duh,"

Please tell me
Your point.

This woman is trying
To trap him.

You can't let that happen.

Mom, this is none
Of your business.

Yes, it is. It affects rory.
It affects you.

Both of whom are my business.
Do not get involved in this.
I mean it. Butt out.

Don't call christopher
And talk about me or us.

Just stay out of it.

Where are you going?
Do not walk out on me.

I am not gonna discuss this.

I'd love for you to respect
That, but I know you,
So give christopher my love.

A family life doesn't just
Happen, lorelai.

You have to work
And fight for it.

Lorelai, come back here.

When she's out
Of intensive care,
We'll get her signature,

And then we can finally set
About hiring a new librarian.

Anything else?
Yes. I was thinking
That maybe this year,

We should throw a beginning-
Of-the-school-year dance.

I mean why wait until
The tan fades?

Dances are distracting.
Dances help bring in money

To pay for those stupid
Topiaries you want.

Draft a proposal and have it
On my desk by tomorrow.
Madeline.

I'd like to explore the option
Of having a professional
Photographer.

Every year, we use
That cheesy picture place,

And every year, people wind up
With those vh1 "Before they
Were stars" pictures.

I would like to stop
The humiliation now.

How are we going
To get one?

Helmut newton
Is my godfather.
Okay, sign him up.

Tell him to leave the whips
And chains at home.

That's all
We have time for today.

Excuse me, paris.

I was wondering if you
Thought about my proposal.
What proposal?

You know, the higher hemlines.

Oh, right.
No, not yet.

Okay. I guess I can wait...
For a while.

Patience is a virtue.
Meeting adjourned.

Hey--
What do you think about

Helmut newton
Being louise's godfather?

Explains a lot, doesn't it?
Yeah.

Listen, I think
It might be a good idea

To consider getting behind
This hemline issue.

You're kidding, right?
No.

If girls want to make
Their skirts shorter,

Then who cares, right?
I care.
I'm building a legacy here.

You want the first stand
I make against the faculty
To involve a fashion choice?

It would be my gays
In the military.

I just think we should
Establish some goodwill

Among the other
Class presidents.

Why?
Because you have
To work with them,

And you might need their support
On something in the future.

Throwing them a bone
Like a hemline amendment
Is no big deal.

I don't know.
It's right at the beginning
Of your term.

No one will even remember
The first stupid thing
You passed.

You have plenty of time
To establish your legacy.

By the time that you
Implement public executions
For line cutters,

Hemlines will be
A thing of the past.

I was making a joke,
Not a suggestion.

Why do you care?
What?

Why do you care?
You seem very invested
In this whole thing. Why?

I'm not invested.

If you don't want to do it,
Fine. I'm just giving you
My opinion.

I just thought you'd want
To a president

Who's beloved
As well as respected.

Raising hemlines
Would make me beloved?

It's certainly a step
In that direction.

Alright.
I'll push it through.
Good.

But the next genius
Who wants

To put an elizabeth arden
In the chemistry class
Can bite my ass.

I'm not going.
You are going.

She has done for the last time.
From now on,

I'm not giving any
Information about my life.

Opposed to all
The details heaped
In the past.

I can't believe
She called christopher.

She has no respect for my
Privacy or my feelings

She thought
She was helping.

You know there isn't
A santa claus?

Please just try
To forget this.

I'm never going
There again.

Not an option.
Should be.

She's your mother.
I want proof.
I want tests done.

You want the red
Or blue purse?

Blue. I wonder
Who else she's calling.

She's probably on
The phone to kirk.

"I heard through my spies
You're taking my daughter
To dinner.

Let's talk china patterns."
God, I'm furious.

Don't get that.
It might be her.

I doubt she'd call when
We're supposed to be there.

Kirk: hello? Hello?

The answering machine
Confused him.

And that's the guy
Who likes me.

I'd consider adoption
If I were you.

[ sighs ]
My life stinks.

Let's look
Into each other's eyes

And say, "I wish I were you"
At the same time.

We'll pull
A "Freaky friday."

Or we can just pretend.

And you can go around acting
Immature. Oh, wait...

I can't believe you won't
Switch bodies.

Forget it.
Then I'd have to date kirk.

I would switch bodies
With you anytime.
I know, and I appreciate that.

Lorelai, I think there might
Be a problem with your phone.

Oh, my god.
Let's go.

Hello? Who is this?

Mom would you please
Get off the phone.

Mom, please hang up.
I'll call you back.

[door bell]

Oh, for heaven's sake.

Hey. I don't think
Your doorbell's working.

Believe me.
It's not the doorbell.

Oh. So it was the door.

Yes, sarah.
Once again, it was the door.

So the really big bell
Is the door

And the small one
Is the oven.

Yes. That would be a wonderful
Thing to remember.

Okay. Well, let's have
A drink, shall we?

Grandma, you have
A new maid?
Yes, I do.

Good thing we're in time
For happy hour.

Wine, lorelai?

Yeah, if there's any left.

Rory, soda or water?

Soda, please.

How about water?

Water's fine, too.

What's up, mom?
Nothing.

You seem tense.

You always think
I seem tense.

Tonight you seem
Tenser than usual.

Well, I'm not!

Rory, tell me about school.

Oh, okay.
School's good.

Do you like
Student government?
I think so.

Your grades are still good?
Yes.

Do you take
Physical education?
Not this semester.

But eventually you will take
Some sort of physical education.
I'm not sure.

The minute she runs after
A ball and take showers
With 30 other girls,

You are getting a call.
Well, thank you.

Dinner's ready.

Sarah, one minute, please.
Yeah?

I told you we eat
Dinner at 7:00.

And right now, it's 6:30.

Therefore, one could conclude

That maybe it's just a tad early
For dinner.

I'm sorry. I --
We want to eat at 7:00!

But the food's ready now.

Okay. Never mind.
We'll eat.

We're eating.
Up, up.

Let's go.

It's fine.
It's better.

Then we could all be in bed
By 9:00. Sit down.

Tell us what is up.
What is up with what?

With you and her.

Well, she's new, lorelai.
She's only been here three days.

She's still getting
The hang of things.

I think it's only fair
To give the woman a chance.

Why are you staring at me?

Mom, you've had maids deported
Who were better than her.

I have not.
Talk.

Your father made a crack about
My not being able to keep a
Maid.

Of course it's a gross
Exaggeration.

Yes, I've had maids
I haven't liked,

But I've also had maids
I've loved.
Name one.

Daiha.
Who?

She took you shopping once.
How old was I?

I don't know.
4, 5.

You haven't liked a maid
Since I was 4 or 5?

I have liked a maid.
You asked whom I've loved.

I loved daiha.
And whatever happened
To daiha?

How should I know?
But I loved her.

Okay. So. Salad?

Thank you, sarah.

Oops. Big bell.

Sarah? The salads.
Sarah!

Pass the wine, lorelai.

You want a straw
With that?

You're enjoying this?
Well, yeah.

Lor, we need to talk.

Chris.
What are you doing here?
You won't return my calls.

Did you do this?
I did not.

You gave me no choice.
After I told you to stay out.

I did not.
You have to go.

I'm not going
Until you talk to me.

Christopher, lorelai,
Come back here.
Why won't you call me back?

There couldn't be a worse time
To have this conversation.

Really? It seems the only time
To have this conversation.

Go home, okay?
I will talk to you tomorrow.

Well, sure, I believe that.

There's no reason
To doubt my word.

Really? 45 unreturned
Phone calls isn't a reason?
No, it isn't.

You shutting me out
Like this is wrong.

I'm not discussing this
In my mother's house.
You don't get to dictate this.

You won't call me back,
I did what I had to do.
And I'm sorry,

But after
All we've been through,

You shutting me out
Is wrong.

You know what hits me
The hardest, lor?
Apparently it's not the door.

You keeping rory from me.
What?

I never, ever thought
You'd do that.

I'm not keeping rory
From you.

Then why hasn't
She called me back, huh?

No matter where we've
Been in our lives,

My daughter has always
Called me back until now.

I didn't call
Because I didn't want to.

Me. Mom had nothing
To do with it.
Honey, calm down.

You promised me
At sookie's wedding,
This was going to work,

That you were going
To be there.
Honey, please understand.

No. I always understand,
And I don't want to understand.

I don't want to talk about this.
I've got mom. That's all I need.

Go be somebody else's dad.
Don't say that.

I'm going upstairs.
Call me when he's gone.

[ sighs ]

She did not get there
By herself.

Have you ever met
Your daughter?

She could get to the third
Dimension by herself.

She helped the crossing
Guard when she was 4.

I'm going to talk to her.
No!

She wants to be alone
And cool off. Respect that.

I'll talk to her later.

You'll talk to her?
Great.

You need to leave...
Right now.

This isn't right.
She needs her father.

I know, I've told her
She needs her father.

She feels her father bailed on
Her, and she's mad and hurt!

I can't change that
In three minutes!

Do you think I like
This situation?

Do you? After what you
And I had going--

Chris, do you remember
Why we're here?

What event in your life

Caused this very pleasant
Moment we're sharing?

That has nothing to do
With this.

What? Chris, man,
What do you want from me?!

I want to talk!
About what?!

I don't know. I just...
I don't like how things are.

But that's how they are.
I didn't want things
To turn out this way.

But they did!
But I didn't want that!

Christopher, is sherry still
Pregnant?
Of course she is.

Are you still with her?
Yes!

Are you gonna marry her?
Yes.

Then, honey, we are
Where we are. Accept it.
I can't.

Don't you understand
That I can't talk to you
Because it hurts?!

Talking to you really hurts!

Standing here right now
Is killing me, okay?!

Don't you understand that?!

Christopher, I think
You'd better go now.

Emily, I --
Leave now, please.

[ sighs ]

You need a mask and a horse
When you do that.

Something's burning.

Chris!

Give it time.

[ sighs ] Well, now,
That was a fun night.
Yep.

I haven't had such fun
Since labor.
Ba-dum-bum.

But, seriously, ladies
And gentlemen, is this on?

I can't believe
He just came over.

He misses you.
He misses you.

We're very missable.

Honey, he loves you so much.
He didn't mean to --

No, he never means to,
But he does.

I'm not going
To this wedding.

You don't have to.
Good.

But you might --
At a later point.

When you're not so angry
And make up with your dad
As we both know..

You might be sorry
You missed it.

It's the wrong wedding.

Well, things happen
For a reason.

Since when is that
Your philosophy?

Since now. By the way,
I'm also a communist.

Really?
Yes, 'cause I look
Damn good in red.

I'm starving.
Really? Could it be
'cause dinner sucked?

Let's do mac and cheese.
And tater tots.

And pizza rolls.
Ooh. And chili beef soup.

After which we will install
Our own vomitorium.

Okay, nix the soup.
And add some cake.

Let's be organized.
Make it fast,
Make it snappy,

If there's any impulse
Buying, make it chocolate.
Aye, aye, captain.

Lorelai.
Oh, no.

Go on in.
You sure?

I have to take care
Of this.
Good luck.

Hey, kirk.
Lorelai, I know you haven't
Made up your mind,

I'm not here for an answer.
I need to know --

Are you allergic to tuna?
Uh, no.

No. Good.
Thank you very much.

Kirk, I've made up
My mind.

You have?
Already?
Yes.

And it's fully formed?
Yes, it is.

You don't need any other
Information?
No, I don't.

'cause I could have
My mother call you.
Totally unnecessary.

Okay. Well, then,
Go ahead.

I just got out of a really
Weird relationship,

And I know that sounds like
A line, but it isn't.

I'm just not fully over
The shock of it yet,

And I never want to hurt you

Because you're my friend
And I like you,

So I have to say no.
I'm sorry.

Was the tuna inquiry
Too personal?

Oh, no. I thought
It was very thoughtful.

You sure you won't feel like
It any time soon?

Yeah, I'm sure.

Well, at least I asked.

Good night, lorelai.

Doing a little shopping?
Yes. Excuse me.

Why the cold shoulder?
No cold shoulder.

I just have perishables here.
Oh, yeah.

You wanna get home before
That beefaroni goes bad.
My mom's waiting for me.

How was washington?
Fine.

Do anything interesting?
Nope.

What about you?
What about me?

Anything interesting happen?
This summer, I mean?
Nope.

Really?
Really.

So nothing happened
This summer at all?

It was hot.

Two weeks ago, there was a run
On sno-cones.

Machine broke,
People went crazy.

I'm not talking
About sno-cones.

What are you
Talking about then?
Nothing.

[ sighs ]

Her name's shane.

As in "Come back"?
Yep.

Well, great.
That's great.

Really, it's great.
So I've heard.

Are you upset
About something?
No.

I mean, me and shane.
What about you two?

I don't know. It didn't exactly
Bring a smile to your face.

Well, I'm still freaked out
About the sno-cone machine.
Okay.

I could care less
About you and shane.
Good.

It just surprised me,
That's all.
Why?

Because.
Because why?

Because of what happened
At sookie's wedding.

So me coming back
And just seeing you with shane

Just kind of threw me
For a sec.

I'm sorry.
Did I hear from you
At all this summer?

Did I miss the thousands of
Phone calls you made to me

Or the postman lose
The letters you wrote to me?

You kiss me, tell me
Not to say anything --

Very flattering, by the way.

You go off to washington.
Then nothing.

Then you come back all put out
Because I didn't wait for you

Like dean would have done.

And what about dean?
Are you still with him?

'cause last time I checked,
You were.

I haven't heard anything
To the contrary.

And you two walking
Around the other day

Like some damn
Andy hardy movie.

Seemed like you're
Still pretty together.

I expected you to break
Into a barn and put on a show.

When did you see us?
At that stupid summer
Insanity plea the town put on.

I'm surprised you could see
Anything

With shane's head plastered
To your face.

You didn't answer me.
About what?

Did you call me at all?
No.

Did you send a letter?
Postcard?
No.

Smoke signal?
Stop.

A nice fruit basket?
Enough.

Are you still with dean?

Come on, rory, yes or no?
Are you still with dean?
Yes, I'm still with dean.

Glad to hear it.
Glad to tell you.

See you around.
Whatever.

Right back at you.

Hey. I was just gonna
Come in after you.

You all done?
Oh, yeah, I'm done.

[instrumental music]

[music continues]