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1
00:00:02,182 --> 00:00:05,877
I can't believe I'm about to deliver
"Gabi's Box" to my first paying customer.
2
00:00:05,929 --> 00:00:07,078
Sound like a hooker.
3
00:00:07,114 --> 00:00:08,830
What if not enough people want
a romantic dinner in a box,
4
00:00:08,882 --> 00:00:10,248
and my new business is a flop?
5
00:00:10,284 --> 00:00:11,867
Plenty of people will want it.
6
00:00:11,902 --> 00:00:13,218
Look, people are suckers for romance.
7
00:00:13,253 --> 00:00:15,220
But what if they're not?
I mean, what if more people are like us,
8
00:00:15,255 --> 00:00:17,172
and they have sex-only
punch card relationships
9
00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:20,158
without the romance or the
emotions or the feelings?
10
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,028
Stop worrying. People are not
as evolved as you and I.
11
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,129
That's true.
12
00:00:24,164 --> 00:00:26,064
Oh, shoot, did I remember
the mini-champagne?
13
00:00:26,099 --> 00:00:27,949
- Yes.
- And the romantic playlist?
14
00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:30,035
Yes. You packed the bubbly
and the Buble. You are good to go.
15
00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:32,888
Okay. All right. I'm gonna knock,
16
00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:37,225
and when Marissa answers, you snap
a photo of my first happy customer.
17
00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:38,276
It's gonna look so good on my website,
18
00:00:38,312 --> 00:00:39,845
which you're making,
by the way, thank you.
19
00:00:41,298 --> 00:00:44,166
Hi, Marissa? I'm Gabi, from Gabi's Box,
20
00:00:44,201 --> 00:00:47,252
and I'm here to deliver a romantic
dinner from your boyfriend Vinny!
21
00:00:47,287 --> 00:00:49,171
(crying)
22
00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:56,211
(theme music playing)
23
00:00:59,183 --> 00:01:01,049
She in the spotlight
24
00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:03,051
And she turn my head
25
00:01:03,053 --> 00:01:05,053
She run a red light
26
00:01:05,055 --> 00:01:06,221
'Cause she bad like that
27
00:01:06,223 --> 00:01:10,058
I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby
28
00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:13,144
Baby, I like that ooh, baby,
ooh, baby
29
00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:19,034
(blubbering)
30
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,988
...Vinny!
31
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:23,989
Oh my god, you poor thing.
32
00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:26,241
Can you believe Vinny did that to her?
33
00:01:26,243 --> 00:01:28,126
You understood that?
34
00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:30,128
Uh, they went out for two years,
35
00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:31,997
he ordered a romantic dinner for her,
36
00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:33,782
and then he broke up with her
outta nowhere right before it got here.
37
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,250
How did you not get that?
38
00:01:35,252 --> 00:01:37,085
I'm sorry, this is a bit of
an uncomfortable situation.
39
00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:40,005
Yeah, I know, uh,
will you stay with her?
40
00:01:40,057 --> 00:01:41,256
What? Me? No! Why?
41
00:01:41,258 --> 00:01:43,091
'Cause I have four
more boxes to deliver.
42
00:01:43,143 --> 00:01:45,093
So why don't you stay with her
and I'll deliver the boxes?
43
00:01:45,095 --> 00:01:48,096
Uh, excuse me, who is the face
of Gabi's box? Gabi.
44
00:01:48,098 --> 00:01:51,099
People see Gabi's face,
and they want Gabi's Box.
45
00:01:51,101 --> 00:01:52,100
I gotta go, you gotta stay.
46
00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:53,184
I'm not staying with her.
47
00:01:53,237 --> 00:01:56,104
(crying loudly)
48
00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:57,188
Josh, look at her, she's not stable.
49
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,024
I mean, what if
she does something crazy?
50
00:01:59,076 --> 00:01:59,819
Like what?
51
00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,110
Like... give me a bad Yelp review.
52
00:02:02,112 --> 00:02:03,111
Goodbye.
53
00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:12,087
Come on, Elliot.
54
00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:13,121
You need to lie down.
55
00:02:14,207 --> 00:02:18,126
Oh, Alan. You take such good care of me.
56
00:02:21,048 --> 00:02:24,182
Oooh, have you been working out?
57
00:02:24,217 --> 00:02:25,967
The drugs they give you
58
00:02:26,019 --> 00:02:27,135
when they take out your wisdom teeth
59
00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:29,020
must be good.
60
00:02:29,056 --> 00:02:30,138
You lie down on the couch.
61
00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:32,140
I'm gonna go get my camera phone.
62
00:02:33,226 --> 00:02:36,144
- (tapping sound)
- What's that sound?
63
00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:41,199
Who's there?
64
00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:50,992
(tapping sound)
65
00:02:58,251 --> 00:03:00,001
Uh-oh.
66
00:03:04,007 --> 00:03:05,173
- Aaaaah!
- (chirping)
67
00:03:05,175 --> 00:03:06,975
What's wrong?
68
00:03:07,010 --> 00:03:08,944
There's a squirrel in the wall!
69
00:03:08,996 --> 00:03:12,013
We're in the penthouse in a glass tower.
There's no squirrel.
70
00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:14,816
Yes, there is. Look in the hole!
71
00:03:15,902 --> 00:03:17,852
Oh my... Damn!
72
00:03:17,888 --> 00:03:19,871
Elliot, you can't go
makin' a hole in the wall
73
00:03:19,906 --> 00:03:22,273
every time you
hallucinate on hard drugs!
74
00:03:22,309 --> 00:03:24,809
If I did that, my apartment
would look like Swiss cheese.
75
00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:35,003
Oh my god... you know how we look at really
successful people, and they're like smart,
76
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:38,089
and rich, and happy, and we hate them?
77
00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:39,975
Well, start hatin' me.
78
00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:43,979
My life sucks.
79
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:45,313
You know,
my first delivery was a little rough,
80
00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:47,282
because my first customer
burst into tears,
81
00:03:47,317 --> 00:03:50,235
but I made Josh stay with her, and
the rest of the deliveries went great,
82
00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:53,171
so let's just say,
everything's comin' up Gabi.
83
00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:58,009
I've never been this miserable.
84
00:03:58,061 --> 00:04:00,929
I'm making money,
I have a successful business...
85
00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:05,967
(phone dings) Oh... Josh is comin' over.
And we all know why. Sex.
86
00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:10,805
How happy... are you... for me?
87
00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:12,857
I hate everything.
88
00:04:12,909 --> 00:04:16,144
Wh... What... What is this?
What's going on? You seem... down.
89
00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:21,199
Well... Logan asked me to write
my very first article for Click'd
90
00:04:21,251 --> 00:04:23,051
and I have nothing to write about.
91
00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:25,153
- Oh, come on, there's gotta be somethin'.
- No. There isn't, Gabi.
92
00:04:25,155 --> 00:04:28,006
Okay, because she wants it to be
about something dramatic and exciting,
93
00:04:28,058 --> 00:04:29,024
and I go to work, I come home,
94
00:04:29,076 --> 00:04:31,076
I play online Yahtzee, and I go to bed.
95
00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:33,094
Where is the drama and
excitement in that?
96
00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:34,996
(knocking on door)
97
00:04:35,032 --> 00:04:36,931
I'm really sorry,
but can we talk about this later,
98
00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,867
because Josh is here, and
we're gonna have like a bunch of s...
99
00:04:38,919 --> 00:04:40,852
Yeah, sex, I know, I get it,
you're having sex.
100
00:04:48,261 --> 00:04:50,195
- Hey.
- Hey!
101
00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:52,213
Sorry it took me so long,
I was a Marissa's for hours.
102
00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:55,016
Oh... yeah, sorry I stuck you with her.
103
00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:57,018
That's okay. First 20 minutes
all I did was hand her tissue
104
00:04:57,054 --> 00:04:59,988
after tissue. You know, what you
did for me when... Han Solo died.
105
00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:04,976
But then she wanted to enjoy
your dinner, which was delicious,
106
00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:07,879
by the way. And we started
talking about relationships
107
00:05:07,914 --> 00:05:10,231
and feelings, and we kinda hit it off.
108
00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:17,038
What?
109
00:05:17,074 --> 00:05:18,373
Remember how we said if we met somebody,
110
00:05:18,425 --> 00:05:21,059
we would each tell each other...
and we'd put the punch card on hold?
111
00:05:22,179 --> 00:05:24,028
Yes, the "Tell and Hold."
112
00:05:25,082 --> 00:05:26,915
The "Tell... and Hold."
113
00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:31,936
Okay. So... I think
this might be the "tell" part.
114
00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:34,289
Because she asked me out
for tomorrow night, and I...
115
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:37,158
think I kinda might've said yes.
116
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,109
Oh?
117
00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:41,212
And I... I wasn't even sure
I was really gonna tell you.
118
00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:43,081
Well... why... why wouldn't you tell me?
119
00:05:43,116 --> 00:05:45,216
I mean... what do you think
"tell" means in "Tell and Hold"?
120
00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:48,103
You can't have a "Tell and Hold" without
the "tell" part... would you like some wine?
121
00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:50,121
Thank you, I'd love some.
122
00:05:50,157 --> 00:05:53,041
Well, I just figured...
what if the date doesn't go well?
123
00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:54,976
I wouldn't have to tell you
because there'd be no hold.
124
00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:57,245
But then I thought,
what if it did go well?
125
00:05:57,297 --> 00:05:58,930
The right thing to do
would be for me to tell you,
126
00:05:58,982 --> 00:06:01,833
so this is me telling you.
127
00:06:01,868 --> 00:06:03,234
Gabi, we might be on a hold.
128
00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:07,071
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
129
00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:12,026
Yeah, this is great. I mean,
this is why the "Tell and Hold" exists.
130
00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:13,995
So you're okay with this?
I'm not even sure I was.
131
00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,865
Wha...? Please, why wouldn't I
be okay with a "Tell and Hold"?
132
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:17,949
I mean, it's called the "Tell and Hold,"
133
00:06:17,984 --> 00:06:20,785
I invented the "Tell and Hold"!
134
00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:24,873
I toast you.
135
00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:28,827
Okay. Uh...
136
00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:30,128
Maybe I should go?
137
00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:34,115
What if I... tell you to leave,
while I hold open the door?
138
00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,235
That's a little...
that's a little "Tell and Hold" humor.
139
00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:39,120
(both laugh)
140
00:06:39,122 --> 00:06:42,073
Wow. Uh... you're amazing.
141
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,107
Thank you for understanding.
142
00:06:43,143 --> 00:06:44,142
Mm-hm.
143
00:06:44,177 --> 00:06:45,077
Good night.
144
00:06:45,077 --> 00:06:46,828
Mm-hm.
145
00:06:49,983 --> 00:06:51,833
Gabi... I'm so sorry
to make this about myself,
146
00:06:51,885 --> 00:06:55,203
but I finally found an article
that is dramatic and exciting.
147
00:06:55,238 --> 00:06:56,855
A modern day romance gone awry.
148
00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:58,156
Awry?
149
00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,776
What's... what's awry? Nothing's awry.
150
00:07:01,811 --> 00:07:03,622
Oh my god, Gabi, this is killing you.
151
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,080
Okay, the ironic thing is, if you
hadn't told him to stay with that girl,
152
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,115
none of this would've happened.
153
00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,132
(laughs)
154
00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:09,968
Is "devastated"
spelled with an "E" or an "A"?
155
00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:12,606
Devastated? Oh my god.
Are you so desperate
156
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:13,855
for a story that you're just gonna...
157
00:07:13,907 --> 00:07:15,477
pretend that I'm upset?
158
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,910
No, I mean, I... I... love that
Josh is going out with another girl.
159
00:07:18,962 --> 00:07:21,229
You know? I'm... I am fine with it.
160
00:07:22,883 --> 00:07:24,816
Hi. Are you Marissa's boyfriend?
161
00:07:24,851 --> 00:07:26,100
I... was.
162
00:07:26,136 --> 00:07:27,202
You need to get back together with her.
163
00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:32,577
Thank you so much
for asking us in, Vinny.
164
00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,527
I didn't.
165
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:35,645
Who are you again?
166
00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:38,498
Oh, uh, I'm... I'm Gabi from Gabi's Box.
167
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,484
Thanks for your... order, by the way,
make sure you like us
168
00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,519
on Facebook, so why the hell
did you break up with Marissa?
169
00:07:42,554 --> 00:07:46,423
I mean, she loves you so much,
and she thought that you loved her.
170
00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:47,541
Hey, I do love her.
171
00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,442
I love her more than any
woman I've ever known.
172
00:07:49,478 --> 00:07:51,411
It's just...
I have to marry somebody else.
173
00:07:51,463 --> 00:07:52,879
Oh my god,
did you get somebody else pregnant?
174
00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:55,866
This is good. This is good stuff, Vinny.
175
00:07:55,901 --> 00:07:59,653
N... No! No. My parents have
set up an arranged marriage.
176
00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:01,688
My future wife Raya,
she's flying in from Mumbai,
177
00:08:01,723 --> 00:08:03,557
and we're all getting
dinner tomorrow night.
178
00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:08,595
An arranged marriage?
Oh my god, Gabi, I've found my hook.
179
00:08:08,597 --> 00:08:11,498
So, you're gonna marry someone
you've never met when you're in love
180
00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,433
with somebody else?
I mean, you need to get back
181
00:08:13,485 --> 00:08:14,568
with your someone else.
182
00:08:14,603 --> 00:08:16,503
I have a question... why do you care?
183
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,471
Because if you love Marissa,
you need to be with her.
184
00:08:18,473 --> 00:08:20,824
The people that belong
together need to be together!
185
00:08:22,861 --> 00:08:25,795
Look, my parents scare me.
They don't even know that I smoke pot.
186
00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:29,616
You're not gonna tell them, are you?
187
00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:32,602
No, but you might wanna hide this bong.
188
00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:34,671
Hey... Vinny...
I wonder what would happen
189
00:08:34,706 --> 00:08:36,723
if you told your parents
that you love Marissa?
190
00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,658
It's cool that I'm having
this pizza, right?
191
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,645
It doesn't matter who I love.
192
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,082
What matters is who they love,
and they love Raya.
193
00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,061
Well, how do you know
they're gonna love Raya?
194
00:08:45,061 --> 00:08:46,263
I mean, they haven't even met Raya.
195
00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:49,536
Oh... they're gonna love her.
She is a virgin vegetarian
196
00:08:49,538 --> 00:08:51,855
chemical engineer,
it's the Indian trifecta.
197
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:57,844
Indian trifecta! That's good stuff.
198
00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,800
Vinny...
199
00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:08,505
what if the Raya they meet
is actually... none of those things?
200
00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:11,558
What if she's a...
What if she's a sex-loving, meat-eating,
201
00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,543
not-a-chance-in-hell-
of-being a chemical engineer?
202
00:09:13,579 --> 00:09:15,612
Ohhh... I see what you're doing.
203
00:09:15,647 --> 00:09:18,331
You're gonna get some girl to
pretend to be a horrible version
204
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,433
of Raya, so that his parents...
205
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,790
It's me, isn't it?
206
00:09:31,713 --> 00:09:36,666
Thank you so much for getting all the
snacks ready for my date with Marissa.
207
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:39,719
Did you hear that?
"Date... with Marissa."
208
00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:42,197
Date... with someone who's not Gabi.
209
00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:44,491
When's the last time
you heard me say that?
210
00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:48,395
About three minutes ago.
211
00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:51,381
Look... that's because I'm excited!
212
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,682
You know, technically,
Gabi and I aren't even dating,
213
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:55,819
we're just having sex, which,
don't get me wrong, it's nice.
214
00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:57,837
It's nice.
215
00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,489
But I'm a man.
216
00:09:59,524 --> 00:10:02,425
I want relationships,
I want feelings, I want emotions!
217
00:10:02,461 --> 00:10:03,426
I miss 'em.
218
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,846
And I'm the gay one? (laughs)
219
00:10:06,882 --> 00:10:08,682
Ow, ow, ow... oh.
220
00:10:10,869 --> 00:10:13,687
So, you talked to Gabi about this,
and you're sure
221
00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:14,688
this is what you wanna be doing?
222
00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,706
Of course this is what
I should be doing!
223
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:17,707
This is good!
224
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:18,953
This is what normal people do!
225
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,527
They go out! They date!
226
00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:22,005
They pretend to be someone they're not!
227
00:10:22,005 --> 00:10:25,565
Then they get more comfortable. Eventually,
they pee in front of each other, it's beautiful!
228
00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:30,453
Gabi and I can't have a
relationship like that.
229
00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:31,871
We tried, but we can't.
230
00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:33,840
I'd love it, but we can't.
So will you get off my back?
231
00:10:34,943 --> 00:10:37,510
(phone chimes)
232
00:10:37,546 --> 00:10:39,779
That... is Marissa.
I'm gonna go and let her in.
233
00:10:39,815 --> 00:10:41,781
You guys open the wine,
put on the terrace lights,
234
00:10:41,817 --> 00:10:43,683
make everything look pretty,
and get out.
235
00:10:45,821 --> 00:10:47,721
- (chirping)
- Aah!
236
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:48,722
(plate hitting floor)
237
00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,498
Hurry, Yolanda!
238
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,551
(squirrel chirping) No, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
239
00:11:01,603 --> 00:11:02,802
I got you!
240
00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:04,821
You furry little bitch!
241
00:11:04,856 --> 00:11:06,389
What the hell is goin' on in here?
242
00:11:06,425 --> 00:11:07,824
The squirrel is real!
243
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,644
And it's right here under this bucket!
244
00:11:11,697 --> 00:11:12,696
Ohh, is it, Elliot?
245
00:11:12,748 --> 00:11:14,764
Or did you just take more of your meds?
246
00:11:14,816 --> 00:11:16,700
I'm telling you, it's right here.
247
00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:18,585
Well, let's see it, then.
248
00:11:20,706 --> 00:11:23,640
You kick the bucket...
and I'll grab the squirrel.
249
00:11:23,675 --> 00:11:24,607
Okay.
250
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,658
Naa!
251
00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:29,562
What the...?
252
00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:31,514
I'm telling you it was right here!
253
00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:34,818
What's the matter with me?
254
00:11:36,505 --> 00:11:39,789
Help me, Yolanda! (crying)
255
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:42,675
I think I might be losing my mind.
256
00:11:42,677 --> 00:11:43,777
(crying)
257
00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:46,713
(crying)
258
00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:53,486
How about we get some frozen yogurt?
259
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,926
Gabi, are you sure Sofia's
gonna be able to pull this off?
260
00:11:59,978 --> 00:12:01,811
If my parents find out that
she is not the real Raya...
261
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,763
- (knocking on door)
- That's them!
262
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,801
They are not gonna find out.
Okay, by the time this night ends,
263
00:12:07,836 --> 00:12:09,385
you're gonna be done with Raya.
264
00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:10,236
Up high-a!
265
00:12:13,759 --> 00:12:14,858
Mom! Dad!
266
00:12:14,893 --> 00:12:17,610
You look so handsome!
267
00:12:17,646 --> 00:12:18,878
Who is this?
268
00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:21,581
Oh... um, I'm Gabi,
I'm your personal chef for the evening.
269
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:25,652
Oh, you hired a personal chef?
That will impress Raya.
270
00:12:25,687 --> 00:12:27,537
Good thinking, Navin.
271
00:12:27,589 --> 00:12:29,606
Uh... Dad, please call me Vinny.
272
00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:30,787
All my friends just call me Vinny.
273
00:12:30,787 --> 00:12:33,526
Not us. Your name is meant
to appear on a Hindu temple,
274
00:12:33,562 --> 00:12:36,496
not a pizza box.
275
00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:38,765
(phone ringing)
276
00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:40,867
Excuse me one second.
277
00:12:40,869 --> 00:12:44,737
Where are you. So... Raya?
278
00:12:44,773 --> 00:12:47,807
- Gabi, meet me in the hallway.
- No! Just knock on the door like we planned!
279
00:12:47,843 --> 00:12:50,660
- Meet me in the hallway now!
- Fine!
280
00:12:50,712 --> 00:12:52,729
(laughs) I'll be right back!
281
00:12:52,764 --> 00:12:55,548
Have a samosa. And a mimosa. (laughs)
282
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,619
- Hey... what's going on?
- Gabi, I'm sorry...
283
00:12:59,671 --> 00:13:03,523
No, no... don't be sorry. Be in a sari!
284
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,442
Look, I thought about it,
and I just can't do it.
285
00:13:06,478 --> 00:13:09,829
Dressing up like an Indian girl, faking an
Indian accent. It's wrong and it's offensive.
286
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,732
It was for your article!
287
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:14,434
And you already have a
really great title, I mean,
288
00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:16,853
"My... My... My Big Fat
Arranged Indian Wedding"?
289
00:13:16,905 --> 00:13:19,756
Come on, that story's totally
gonna make the front page.
290
00:13:19,791 --> 00:13:21,741
Of what? Racist Monthly?
291
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:24,677
Okay... I need you to be bad Raya.
292
00:13:24,713 --> 00:13:26,646
Why? Because you still
have feelings for Josh?
293
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:31,601
No, I... For the gazillionth time,
my feelings for Josh are none, okay?
294
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,504
We tried to have a relationship,
but we can't!
295
00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:36,890
All right? Wish we could,
but we can't, so get off my back!
296
00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:39,843
Is everything okay out here?
297
00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:42,412
Oh... she's pretty.
298
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,797
Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Jain,
I'm really sorry, but...
299
00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:47,717
Yes, uh, Raya here
is a very skittish bride-to-be.
300
00:13:47,752 --> 00:13:49,786
- What?
- You are nervous to meet us.
301
00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:53,756
Yeah, yeah, girl left her
bindi dot in the Uber. (laughs)
302
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,742
'Nuff said.
303
00:13:55,777 --> 00:13:58,578
- Okay, who wants Vindaloo?
- No no no no no no no...
304
00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:04,434
I can't believe we were gonna
watch The Fault in our Stars.
305
00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,635
Straight guys aren't
usually into chick flicks.
306
00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:07,453
You are straight, right?
307
00:14:07,489 --> 00:14:09,422
Hetero and sexual.
308
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,441
I was just in the mood for
some feelings and emotions.
309
00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:12,859
You know,
which stars are we talking about?
310
00:14:12,861 --> 00:14:16,396
Whose fault is it?
These are questions I need answers to!
311
00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:19,399
I'm sorry, again, for talking so much
about Vinny on the way over here.
312
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:20,683
Look, it's only natural.
313
00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:22,402
Your relationship just ended yesterday.
314
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,854
Well, I won't bring him up again,
I promise.
315
00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:27,740
It's just it was so dumb of me
to stay with him for so long!
316
00:14:27,776 --> 00:14:29,676
You know, I knew his parents
wanted an arranged marriage,
317
00:14:29,711 --> 00:14:31,644
so the relationship was just
supposed to be about sex,
318
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,413
but then the sex turned into feelings,
319
00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,531
and feelings turned into a relationship,
and now I'm devastated,
320
00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:37,483
and they better have frickin' Skittles!
321
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,537
I... I get it.
322
00:14:41,573 --> 00:14:44,841
Look, I was in a sex-only thing once
that never... turned into feelings.
323
00:14:44,893 --> 00:14:46,426
Really? How did it not?
324
00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:48,461
It just didn't, okay?
325
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,462
(phone ringing)
326
00:14:50,782 --> 00:14:52,448
I'm sorry,
it's a business call from China.
327
00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:53,750
Uh, here, take my wallet.
328
00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,719
Wei, nin hao.
329
00:14:56,755 --> 00:14:57,787
Do you have a punch card?
330
00:14:57,822 --> 00:14:59,739
Uh... look at that. He does.
331
00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:04,677
No... no no no no no,
what the hell are you doing?
332
00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:06,729
No, you can't punch this card!
333
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,631
Oh my god, all the punches are gone.
334
00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,683
Uh, isn't that a good thing?
Your next yogurt's free.
335
00:15:10,719 --> 00:15:13,620
No! There's no more punches left, and when
the punch card's over, that means we're over,
336
00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:15,471
and I don't want us to be over,
I love her!
337
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,809
Oh my god.
338
00:15:19,844 --> 00:15:21,411
I love her.
339
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,429
I love her!
340
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:26,749
I gotta go.
341
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,754
Just so you know, we're out of Skittles.
342
00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:40,027
What do I have to do to make
you believe me I am not Raya?
343
00:15:40,028 --> 00:15:43,013
We were in your position once.
We tried everything we could
344
00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:45,882
to convince our parents
we were a bad match.
345
00:15:45,918 --> 00:15:48,318
Look, I'm not Raya!
I... I'm not even Indian,
346
00:15:48,353 --> 00:15:50,904
I'm Dominican! My name's Sofia!
347
00:15:52,007 --> 00:15:54,241
She told my parents her name was Becky.
348
00:15:54,276 --> 00:15:58,345
(laughs) And... And...
I insisted I was Canadian.
349
00:15:58,347 --> 00:16:00,163
How 'bout them Maple Leafs? Ehh?
350
00:16:00,199 --> 00:16:02,149
(laughing)
351
00:16:02,184 --> 00:16:05,068
This is ridiculous. Okay, look,
you want proof that I'm not Raya?
352
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,089
Here, here's my birth control.
Says my name on it, Sofia Rodriguez.
353
00:16:09,141 --> 00:16:13,009
And why do I have it?
Because I'm having sex.
354
00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:16,146
Not currently,
but enough to get a prescription.
355
00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:18,849
Navin, what's going on?
356
00:16:18,901 --> 00:16:19,983
Gabi, what's goin' on?
357
00:16:21,887 --> 00:16:24,988
What's going on is your son
doesn't wanna marry Raya!
358
00:16:25,023 --> 00:16:26,957
He's in love with a girl named Marissa!
359
00:16:27,009 --> 00:16:28,892
Who's Marissa?
360
00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:31,228
Well, it's Vinny's soulmate.
361
00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:33,230
Listen, he never set out
to disrespect you.
362
00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:35,165
He told me when he first
started seeing Marissa,
363
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,035
that he made it very clear to her that
they could never have a relationship.
364
00:16:39,087 --> 00:16:40,170
It was purely sex.
365
00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:42,222
Oh... god! Oh god.
366
00:16:42,224 --> 00:16:45,926
Uh, but then... I mean,
something unexpected happened.
367
00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,044
I mean, she tried to pretend that it
was just about sex, but it wasn't.
368
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,932
She had... She had feelings for him.
I think she always did.
369
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,034
But she was afraid to tell him,
because every time they told each other
370
00:16:54,036 --> 00:16:55,077
that they had feelings,
371
00:16:55,077 --> 00:16:58,855
it would just ruin everything, but she... she
does have feelings for him, she does, I mean...
372
00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,123
I... I think she loves him!
373
00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:10,116
Oh my god. Sofia... is she me?
Am I in love with Josh?
374
00:17:10,152 --> 00:17:13,153
Oh my god, yes!
375
00:17:13,188 --> 00:17:16,940
Oh my god! I'm in love with Josh!
376
00:17:16,975 --> 00:17:17,974
I gotta go.
377
00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:22,028
Okay, I don't wanna make
this awkward or anything,
378
00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:25,048
but can you three smoosh, 'cause I
need a picture for my article. (laughs)
379
00:17:29,021 --> 00:17:30,871
And now you're doin' my job?
380
00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:33,840
How high are you?
381
00:17:35,227 --> 00:17:40,096
I can't believe I actually thought
there was a squirrel in here.
382
00:17:40,148 --> 00:17:44,086
Oh... well, let's go home.
And give me those damn pills
383
00:17:44,121 --> 00:17:45,185
so I can get rid of
them once and for all.
384
00:18:04,873 --> 00:18:05,889
Hey.
385
00:18:05,924 --> 00:18:07,274
- You're home.
- Gabi, what are you doin' here?
386
00:18:07,276 --> 00:18:09,042
I needed to talk to you.
387
00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,244
I needed to talk to you, too. I went
to your place, and you weren't there.
388
00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,262
Oh, yeah, that's because I'm here.
389
00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:16,166
Um, I thought you were on a date.
390
00:18:16,201 --> 00:18:18,151
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
391
00:18:18,203 --> 00:18:19,836
- Gabi...
- Listen, um...
392
00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:22,188
Can I go first? Because if I
don't say what I need to say,
393
00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:24,124
I might not say it.
394
00:18:24,126 --> 00:18:27,110
Okay, but... if I don't say what I
need to say... I might not say it.
395
00:18:27,145 --> 00:18:29,963
Okay, but... but...
what if what you need to say
396
00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:32,899
makes me not wanna say what I need
to say, and then I might not say it,
397
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:34,885
and I really need to say it,
and now I need to sit.
398
00:18:36,004 --> 00:18:37,938
Look, if you're not gonna
say what you need to say,
399
00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,906
I'm just gonna say what I need to say.
400
00:18:41,977 --> 00:18:42,943
- Josh?
- Gabi?
401
00:18:42,978 --> 00:18:44,160
Both: Fine, you go.
402
00:18:44,196 --> 00:18:45,211
No, you go.
403
00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:46,246
- Josh?
- Gabi?
404
00:18:46,281 --> 00:18:47,914
Stop!
405
00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:50,166
I know this is crazy,
and I know the punch card was supposed
406
00:18:50,202 --> 00:18:51,284
to keep us from having
feelings for each other
407
00:18:51,336 --> 00:18:53,362
- because we're horrible together.
- Okay.
408
00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:55,071
But then you met Marissa,
and you put us on a hold,
409
00:18:55,123 --> 00:18:57,007
and I thought I was fine with that,
but really I wasn't.
410
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:58,332
- Okay.
- And so I tried to break up
411
00:18:58,333 --> 00:18:59,133
Vinny's arranged marriage
412
00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:02,062
by making Sofia pretend she was Indian,
which was really culturally insensitive,
413
00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:05,065
- but I only did it because...
- Because what?
414
00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:09,853
Because... I love you.
415
00:19:09,905 --> 00:19:10,904
I love you.
416
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,039
I love you.
417
00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:16,860
Your turn.
418
00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:24,801
Gabi... the reason I was racing
all over town trying to find you...
419
00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:25,885
- is because...
- (squirrel chirping)
420
00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:26,886
Both: Aagaahh!
421
00:19:27,737 --> 00:19:28,888
Ahh...
422
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:37,282
Relax, Gabi... the doctor said
Josh was going to be okay.
423
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,418
Turns out it's just a concussion.
424
00:19:39,453 --> 00:19:42,254
Okay, ladies... we're gonna keep
him overnight for observation,
425
00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:44,373
and I'm gonna recommend
some pain medication.
426
00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,617
Oh, great! I'll pick it up.
427
00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,426
Good luck.
428
00:19:49,462 --> 00:19:50,794
You can see him now.
429
00:19:59,438 --> 00:20:01,839
- Hey.
- Oooh...
430
00:20:01,874 --> 00:20:03,374
Ooh.
431
00:20:04,443 --> 00:20:05,542
What happened?
432
00:20:05,578 --> 00:20:08,379
Well, uh... you hit your head.
433
00:20:08,414 --> 00:20:10,547
When you saw the squirrel,
you jumped up, and you screamed,
434
00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:15,452
in a super manly not-afraid-
of-a-harmless-creature kind of way.
435
00:20:15,488 --> 00:20:17,421
You okay?
436
00:20:17,456 --> 00:20:18,489
Yeah, I think so.
437
00:20:18,524 --> 00:20:19,823
Good, good.
438
00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:20,858
Listen, Josh,
439
00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:22,393
I know this could probably wait,
440
00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:23,427
but um...
441
00:20:23,462 --> 00:20:26,864
I kinda said something really big
right before the squirrel happened,
442
00:20:26,899 --> 00:20:28,532
and, um...
443
00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:30,401
it was kinda really hard for me to say,
444
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,435
and I think I know
what you were gonna...
445
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,383
say, but I'm... I'm not sure
446
00:20:34,418 --> 00:20:36,317
that I know know
what you were gonna say,
447
00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:37,887
so, um, could you...
448
00:20:37,921 --> 00:20:39,122
kinda say it right now?
449
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,457
Could I ask you a question first?
450
00:20:41,492 --> 00:20:42,892
Yeah, sure, anything.
451
00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:46,311
Who are you?
452
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,429
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453
00:20:48,479 --> 00:20:53,029
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