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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,182 --> 00:00:05,877 I can't believe I'm about to deliver "Gabi's Box" to my first paying customer. 2 00:00:05,929 --> 00:00:07,078 Sound like a hooker. 3 00:00:07,114 --> 00:00:08,830 What if not enough people want a romantic dinner in a box, 4 00:00:08,882 --> 00:00:10,248 and my new business is a flop? 5 00:00:10,284 --> 00:00:11,867 Plenty of people will want it. 6 00:00:11,902 --> 00:00:13,218 Look, people are suckers for romance. 7 00:00:13,253 --> 00:00:15,220 But what if they're not? I mean, what if more people are like us, 8 00:00:15,255 --> 00:00:17,172 and they have sex-only punch card relationships 9 00:00:17,224 --> 00:00:20,158 without the romance or the emotions or the feelings? 10 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:23,028 Stop worrying. People are not as evolved as you and I. 11 00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,129 That's true. 12 00:00:24,164 --> 00:00:26,064 Oh, shoot, did I remember the mini-champagne? 13 00:00:26,099 --> 00:00:27,949 - Yes. - And the romantic playlist? 14 00:00:27,951 --> 00:00:30,035 Yes. You packed the bubbly and the Buble. You are good to go. 15 00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:32,888 Okay. All right. I'm gonna knock, 16 00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:37,225 and when Marissa answers, you snap a photo of my first happy customer. 17 00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:38,276 It's gonna look so good on my website, 18 00:00:38,312 --> 00:00:39,845 which you're making, by the way, thank you. 19 00:00:41,298 --> 00:00:44,166 Hi, Marissa? I'm Gabi, from Gabi's Box, 20 00:00:44,201 --> 00:00:47,252 and I'm here to deliver a romantic dinner from your boyfriend Vinny! 21 00:00:47,287 --> 00:00:49,171 (crying) 22 00:00:54,127 --> 00:00:56,211 (theme music playing) 23 00:00:59,183 --> 00:01:01,049 She in the spotlight 24 00:01:01,051 --> 00:01:03,051 And she turn my head 25 00:01:03,053 --> 00:01:05,053 She run a red light 26 00:01:05,055 --> 00:01:06,221 'Cause she bad like that 27 00:01:06,223 --> 00:01:10,058 I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby 28 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:13,144 Baby, I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby 29 00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:19,034 (blubbering) 30 00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,988 ...Vinny! 31 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:23,989 Oh my god, you poor thing. 32 00:01:24,041 --> 00:01:26,241 Can you believe Vinny did that to her? 33 00:01:26,243 --> 00:01:28,126 You understood that? 34 00:01:28,161 --> 00:01:30,128 Uh, they went out for two years, 35 00:01:30,163 --> 00:01:31,997 he ordered a romantic dinner for her, 36 00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:33,782 and then he broke up with her outta nowhere right before it got here. 37 00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,250 How did you not get that? 38 00:01:35,252 --> 00:01:37,085 I'm sorry, this is a bit of an uncomfortable situation. 39 00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:40,005 Yeah, I know, uh, will you stay with her? 40 00:01:40,057 --> 00:01:41,256 What? Me? No! Why? 41 00:01:41,258 --> 00:01:43,091 'Cause I have four more boxes to deliver. 42 00:01:43,143 --> 00:01:45,093 So why don't you stay with her and I'll deliver the boxes? 43 00:01:45,095 --> 00:01:48,096 Uh, excuse me, who is the face of Gabi's box? Gabi. 44 00:01:48,098 --> 00:01:51,099 People see Gabi's face, and they want Gabi's Box. 45 00:01:51,101 --> 00:01:52,100 I gotta go, you gotta stay. 46 00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:53,184 I'm not staying with her. 47 00:01:53,237 --> 00:01:56,104 (crying loudly) 48 00:01:56,106 --> 00:01:57,188 Josh, look at her, she's not stable. 49 00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,024 I mean, what if she does something crazy? 50 00:01:59,076 --> 00:01:59,819 Like what? 51 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,110 Like... give me a bad Yelp review. 52 00:02:02,112 --> 00:02:03,111 Goodbye. 53 00:02:10,203 --> 00:02:12,087 Come on, Elliot. 54 00:02:12,122 --> 00:02:13,121 You need to lie down. 55 00:02:14,207 --> 00:02:18,126 Oh, Alan. You take such good care of me. 56 00:02:21,048 --> 00:02:24,182 Oooh, have you been working out? 57 00:02:24,217 --> 00:02:25,967 The drugs they give you 58 00:02:26,019 --> 00:02:27,135 when they take out your wisdom teeth 59 00:02:27,137 --> 00:02:29,020 must be good. 60 00:02:29,056 --> 00:02:30,138 You lie down on the couch. 61 00:02:30,190 --> 00:02:32,140 I'm gonna go get my camera phone. 62 00:02:33,226 --> 00:02:36,144 - (tapping sound) - What's that sound? 63 00:02:40,150 --> 00:02:41,199 Who's there? 64 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:50,992 (tapping sound) 65 00:02:58,251 --> 00:03:00,001 Uh-oh. 66 00:03:04,007 --> 00:03:05,173 - Aaaaah! - (chirping) 67 00:03:05,175 --> 00:03:06,975 What's wrong? 68 00:03:07,010 --> 00:03:08,944 There's a squirrel in the wall! 69 00:03:08,996 --> 00:03:12,013 We're in the penthouse in a glass tower. There's no squirrel. 70 00:03:12,015 --> 00:03:14,816 Yes, there is. Look in the hole! 71 00:03:15,902 --> 00:03:17,852 Oh my... Damn! 72 00:03:17,888 --> 00:03:19,871 Elliot, you can't go makin' a hole in the wall 73 00:03:19,906 --> 00:03:22,273 every time you hallucinate on hard drugs! 74 00:03:22,309 --> 00:03:24,809 If I did that, my apartment would look like Swiss cheese. 75 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:35,003 Oh my god... you know how we look at really successful people, and they're like smart, 76 00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:38,089 and rich, and happy, and we hate them? 77 00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:39,975 Well, start hatin' me. 78 00:03:42,963 --> 00:03:43,979 My life sucks. 79 00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:45,313 You know, my first delivery was a little rough, 80 00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:47,282 because my first customer burst into tears, 81 00:03:47,317 --> 00:03:50,235 but I made Josh stay with her, and the rest of the deliveries went great, 82 00:03:50,270 --> 00:03:53,171 so let's just say, everything's comin' up Gabi. 83 00:03:55,275 --> 00:03:58,009 I've never been this miserable. 84 00:03:58,061 --> 00:04:00,929 I'm making money, I have a successful business... 85 00:04:00,964 --> 00:04:05,967 (phone dings) Oh... Josh is comin' over. And we all know why. Sex. 86 00:04:07,054 --> 00:04:10,805 How happy... are you... for me? 87 00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:12,857 I hate everything. 88 00:04:12,909 --> 00:04:16,144 Wh... What... What is this? What's going on? You seem... down. 89 00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:21,199 Well... Logan asked me to write my very first article for Click'd 90 00:04:21,251 --> 00:04:23,051 and I have nothing to write about. 91 00:04:23,053 --> 00:04:25,153 - Oh, come on, there's gotta be somethin'. - No. There isn't, Gabi. 92 00:04:25,155 --> 00:04:28,006 Okay, because she wants it to be about something dramatic and exciting, 93 00:04:28,058 --> 00:04:29,024 and I go to work, I come home, 94 00:04:29,076 --> 00:04:31,076 I play online Yahtzee, and I go to bed. 95 00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:33,094 Where is the drama and excitement in that? 96 00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:34,996 (knocking on door) 97 00:04:35,032 --> 00:04:36,931 I'm really sorry, but can we talk about this later, 98 00:04:36,967 --> 00:04:38,867 because Josh is here, and we're gonna have like a bunch of s... 99 00:04:38,919 --> 00:04:40,852 Yeah, sex, I know, I get it, you're having sex. 100 00:04:48,261 --> 00:04:50,195 - Hey. - Hey! 101 00:04:50,230 --> 00:04:52,213 Sorry it took me so long, I was a Marissa's for hours. 102 00:04:52,249 --> 00:04:55,016 Oh... yeah, sorry I stuck you with her. 103 00:04:55,052 --> 00:04:57,018 That's okay. First 20 minutes all I did was hand her tissue 104 00:04:57,054 --> 00:04:59,988 after tissue. You know, what you did for me when... Han Solo died. 105 00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:04,976 But then she wanted to enjoy your dinner, which was delicious, 106 00:05:05,011 --> 00:05:07,879 by the way. And we started talking about relationships 107 00:05:07,914 --> 00:05:10,231 and feelings, and we kinda hit it off. 108 00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:17,038 What? 109 00:05:17,074 --> 00:05:18,373 Remember how we said if we met somebody, 110 00:05:18,425 --> 00:05:21,059 we would each tell each other... and we'd put the punch card on hold? 111 00:05:22,179 --> 00:05:24,028 Yes, the "Tell and Hold." 112 00:05:25,082 --> 00:05:26,915 The "Tell... and Hold." 113 00:05:26,967 --> 00:05:31,936 Okay. So... I think this might be the "tell" part. 114 00:05:31,972 --> 00:05:34,289 Because she asked me out for tomorrow night, and I... 115 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:37,158 think I kinda might've said yes. 116 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,109 Oh? 117 00:05:39,312 --> 00:05:41,212 And I... I wasn't even sure I was really gonna tell you. 118 00:05:41,248 --> 00:05:43,081 Well... why... why wouldn't you tell me? 119 00:05:43,116 --> 00:05:45,216 I mean... what do you think "tell" means in "Tell and Hold"? 120 00:05:45,252 --> 00:05:48,103 You can't have a "Tell and Hold" without the "tell" part... would you like some wine? 121 00:05:48,138 --> 00:05:50,121 Thank you, I'd love some. 122 00:05:50,157 --> 00:05:53,041 Well, I just figured... what if the date doesn't go well? 123 00:05:53,076 --> 00:05:54,976 I wouldn't have to tell you because there'd be no hold. 124 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:57,245 But then I thought, what if it did go well? 125 00:05:57,297 --> 00:05:58,930 The right thing to do would be for me to tell you, 126 00:05:58,982 --> 00:06:01,833 so this is me telling you. 127 00:06:01,868 --> 00:06:03,234 Gabi, we might be on a hold. 128 00:06:05,122 --> 00:06:07,071 Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 129 00:06:07,107 --> 00:06:12,026 Yeah, this is great. I mean, this is why the "Tell and Hold" exists. 130 00:06:12,062 --> 00:06:13,995 So you're okay with this? I'm not even sure I was. 131 00:06:14,047 --> 00:06:16,865 Wha...? Please, why wouldn't I be okay with a "Tell and Hold"? 132 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:17,949 I mean, it's called the "Tell and Hold," 133 00:06:17,984 --> 00:06:20,785 I invented the "Tell and Hold"! 134 00:06:23,874 --> 00:06:24,873 I toast you. 135 00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:28,827 Okay. Uh... 136 00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:30,128 Maybe I should go? 137 00:06:30,180 --> 00:06:34,115 What if I... tell you to leave, while I hold open the door? 138 00:06:34,117 --> 00:06:37,235 That's a little... that's a little "Tell and Hold" humor. 139 00:06:37,270 --> 00:06:39,120 (both laugh) 140 00:06:39,122 --> 00:06:42,073 Wow. Uh... you're amazing. 141 00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,107 Thank you for understanding. 142 00:06:43,143 --> 00:06:44,142 Mm-hm. 143 00:06:44,177 --> 00:06:45,077 Good night. 144 00:06:45,077 --> 00:06:46,828 Mm-hm. 145 00:06:49,983 --> 00:06:51,833 Gabi... I'm so sorry to make this about myself, 146 00:06:51,885 --> 00:06:55,203 but I finally found an article that is dramatic and exciting. 147 00:06:55,238 --> 00:06:56,855 A modern day romance gone awry. 148 00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:58,156 Awry? 149 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,776 What's... what's awry? Nothing's awry. 150 00:07:01,811 --> 00:07:03,622 Oh my god, Gabi, this is killing you. 151 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,080 Okay, the ironic thing is, if you hadn't told him to stay with that girl, 152 00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,115 none of this would've happened. 153 00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:08,132 (laughs) 154 00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:09,968 Is "devastated" spelled with an "E" or an "A"? 155 00:07:10,003 --> 00:07:12,606 Devastated? Oh my god. Are you so desperate 156 00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:13,855 for a story that you're just gonna... 157 00:07:13,907 --> 00:07:15,477 pretend that I'm upset? 158 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,910 No, I mean, I... I... love that Josh is going out with another girl. 159 00:07:18,962 --> 00:07:21,229 You know? I'm... I am fine with it. 160 00:07:22,883 --> 00:07:24,816 Hi. Are you Marissa's boyfriend? 161 00:07:24,851 --> 00:07:26,100 I... was. 162 00:07:26,136 --> 00:07:27,202 You need to get back together with her. 163 00:07:30,167 --> 00:07:32,577 Thank you so much for asking us in, Vinny. 164 00:07:32,578 --> 00:07:33,527 I didn't. 165 00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:35,645 Who are you again? 166 00:07:35,681 --> 00:07:38,498 Oh, uh, I'm... I'm Gabi from Gabi's Box. 167 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:40,484 Thanks for your... order, by the way, make sure you like us 168 00:07:40,519 --> 00:07:42,519 on Facebook, so why the hell did you break up with Marissa? 169 00:07:42,554 --> 00:07:46,423 I mean, she loves you so much, and she thought that you loved her. 170 00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:47,541 Hey, I do love her. 171 00:07:47,543 --> 00:07:49,442 I love her more than any woman I've ever known. 172 00:07:49,478 --> 00:07:51,411 It's just... I have to marry somebody else. 173 00:07:51,463 --> 00:07:52,879 Oh my god, did you get somebody else pregnant? 174 00:07:52,915 --> 00:07:55,866 This is good. This is good stuff, Vinny. 175 00:07:55,901 --> 00:07:59,653 N... No! No. My parents have set up an arranged marriage. 176 00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:01,688 My future wife Raya, she's flying in from Mumbai, 177 00:08:01,723 --> 00:08:03,557 and we're all getting dinner tomorrow night. 178 00:08:03,559 --> 00:08:08,595 An arranged marriage? Oh my god, Gabi, I've found my hook. 179 00:08:08,597 --> 00:08:11,498 So, you're gonna marry someone you've never met when you're in love 180 00:08:11,500 --> 00:08:13,433 with somebody else? I mean, you need to get back 181 00:08:13,485 --> 00:08:14,568 with your someone else. 182 00:08:14,603 --> 00:08:16,503 I have a question... why do you care? 183 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,471 Because if you love Marissa, you need to be with her. 184 00:08:18,473 --> 00:08:20,824 The people that belong together need to be together! 185 00:08:22,861 --> 00:08:25,795 Look, my parents scare me. They don't even know that I smoke pot. 186 00:08:27,699 --> 00:08:29,616 You're not gonna tell them, are you? 187 00:08:29,618 --> 00:08:32,602 No, but you might wanna hide this bong. 188 00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:34,671 Hey... Vinny... I wonder what would happen 189 00:08:34,706 --> 00:08:36,723 if you told your parents that you love Marissa? 190 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,658 It's cool that I'm having this pizza, right? 191 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:41,645 It doesn't matter who I love. 192 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,082 What matters is who they love, and they love Raya. 193 00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,061 Well, how do you know they're gonna love Raya? 194 00:08:45,061 --> 00:08:46,263 I mean, they haven't even met Raya. 195 00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:49,536 Oh... they're gonna love her. She is a virgin vegetarian 196 00:08:49,538 --> 00:08:51,855 chemical engineer, it's the Indian trifecta. 197 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:57,844 Indian trifecta! That's good stuff. 198 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:03,800 Vinny... 199 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:08,505 what if the Raya they meet is actually... none of those things? 200 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:11,558 What if she's a... What if she's a sex-loving, meat-eating, 201 00:09:11,610 --> 00:09:13,543 not-a-chance-in-hell- of-being a chemical engineer? 202 00:09:13,579 --> 00:09:15,612 Ohhh... I see what you're doing. 203 00:09:15,647 --> 00:09:18,331 You're gonna get some girl to pretend to be a horrible version 204 00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,433 of Raya, so that his parents... 205 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,790 It's me, isn't it? 206 00:09:31,713 --> 00:09:36,666 Thank you so much for getting all the snacks ready for my date with Marissa. 207 00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:39,719 Did you hear that? "Date... with Marissa." 208 00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:42,197 Date... with someone who's not Gabi. 209 00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:44,491 When's the last time you heard me say that? 210 00:09:45,661 --> 00:09:48,395 About three minutes ago. 211 00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:51,381 Look... that's because I'm excited! 212 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,682 You know, technically, Gabi and I aren't even dating, 213 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:55,819 we're just having sex, which, don't get me wrong, it's nice. 214 00:09:55,871 --> 00:09:57,837 It's nice. 215 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,489 But I'm a man. 216 00:09:59,524 --> 00:10:02,425 I want relationships, I want feelings, I want emotions! 217 00:10:02,461 --> 00:10:03,426 I miss 'em. 218 00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,846 And I'm the gay one? (laughs) 219 00:10:06,882 --> 00:10:08,682 Ow, ow, ow... oh. 220 00:10:10,869 --> 00:10:13,687 So, you talked to Gabi about this, and you're sure 221 00:10:13,689 --> 00:10:14,688 this is what you wanna be doing? 222 00:10:14,740 --> 00:10:16,706 Of course this is what I should be doing! 223 00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:17,707 This is good! 224 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:18,953 This is what normal people do! 225 00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,527 They go out! They date! 226 00:10:20,579 --> 00:10:22,005 They pretend to be someone they're not! 227 00:10:22,005 --> 00:10:25,565 Then they get more comfortable. Eventually, they pee in front of each other, it's beautiful! 228 00:10:28,553 --> 00:10:30,453 Gabi and I can't have a relationship like that. 229 00:10:30,489 --> 00:10:31,871 We tried, but we can't. 230 00:10:31,907 --> 00:10:33,840 I'd love it, but we can't. So will you get off my back? 231 00:10:34,943 --> 00:10:37,510 (phone chimes) 232 00:10:37,546 --> 00:10:39,779 That... is Marissa. I'm gonna go and let her in. 233 00:10:39,815 --> 00:10:41,781 You guys open the wine, put on the terrace lights, 234 00:10:41,817 --> 00:10:43,683 make everything look pretty, and get out. 235 00:10:45,821 --> 00:10:47,721 - (chirping) - Aah! 236 00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:48,722 (plate hitting floor) 237 00:10:56,615 --> 00:10:58,498 Hurry, Yolanda! 238 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,551 (squirrel chirping) No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 239 00:11:01,603 --> 00:11:02,802 I got you! 240 00:11:02,854 --> 00:11:04,821 You furry little bitch! 241 00:11:04,856 --> 00:11:06,389 What the hell is goin' on in here? 242 00:11:06,425 --> 00:11:07,824 The squirrel is real! 243 00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:11,644 And it's right here under this bucket! 244 00:11:11,697 --> 00:11:12,696 Ohh, is it, Elliot? 245 00:11:12,748 --> 00:11:14,764 Or did you just take more of your meds? 246 00:11:14,816 --> 00:11:16,700 I'm telling you, it's right here. 247 00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:18,585 Well, let's see it, then. 248 00:11:20,706 --> 00:11:23,640 You kick the bucket... and I'll grab the squirrel. 249 00:11:23,675 --> 00:11:24,607 Okay. 250 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:25,658 Naa! 251 00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:29,562 What the...? 252 00:11:29,614 --> 00:11:31,514 I'm telling you it was right here! 253 00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:34,818 What's the matter with me? 254 00:11:36,505 --> 00:11:39,789 Help me, Yolanda! (crying) 255 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:42,675 I think I might be losing my mind. 256 00:11:42,677 --> 00:11:43,777 (crying) 257 00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:46,713 (crying) 258 00:11:51,570 --> 00:11:53,486 How about we get some frozen yogurt? 259 00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,926 Gabi, are you sure Sofia's gonna be able to pull this off? 260 00:11:59,978 --> 00:12:01,811 If my parents find out that she is not the real Raya... 261 00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,763 - (knocking on door) - That's them! 262 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,801 They are not gonna find out. Okay, by the time this night ends, 263 00:12:07,836 --> 00:12:09,385 you're gonna be done with Raya. 264 00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:10,236 Up high-a! 265 00:12:13,759 --> 00:12:14,858 Mom! Dad! 266 00:12:14,893 --> 00:12:17,610 You look so handsome! 267 00:12:17,646 --> 00:12:18,878 Who is this? 268 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:21,581 Oh... um, I'm Gabi, I'm your personal chef for the evening. 269 00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:25,652 Oh, you hired a personal chef? That will impress Raya. 270 00:12:25,687 --> 00:12:27,537 Good thinking, Navin. 271 00:12:27,589 --> 00:12:29,606 Uh... Dad, please call me Vinny. 272 00:12:29,641 --> 00:12:30,787 All my friends just call me Vinny. 273 00:12:30,787 --> 00:12:33,526 Not us. Your name is meant to appear on a Hindu temple, 274 00:12:33,562 --> 00:12:36,496 not a pizza box. 275 00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:38,765 (phone ringing) 276 00:12:38,817 --> 00:12:40,867 Excuse me one second. 277 00:12:40,869 --> 00:12:44,737 Where are you. So... Raya? 278 00:12:44,773 --> 00:12:47,807 - Gabi, meet me in the hallway. - No! Just knock on the door like we planned! 279 00:12:47,843 --> 00:12:50,660 - Meet me in the hallway now! - Fine! 280 00:12:50,712 --> 00:12:52,729 (laughs) I'll be right back! 281 00:12:52,764 --> 00:12:55,548 Have a samosa. And a mimosa. (laughs) 282 00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,619 - Hey... what's going on? - Gabi, I'm sorry... 283 00:12:59,671 --> 00:13:03,523 No, no... don't be sorry. Be in a sari! 284 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:06,442 Look, I thought about it, and I just can't do it. 285 00:13:06,478 --> 00:13:09,829 Dressing up like an Indian girl, faking an Indian accent. It's wrong and it's offensive. 286 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:12,732 It was for your article! 287 00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:14,434 And you already have a really great title, I mean, 288 00:13:14,469 --> 00:13:16,853 "My... My... My Big Fat Arranged Indian Wedding"? 289 00:13:16,905 --> 00:13:19,756 Come on, that story's totally gonna make the front page. 290 00:13:19,791 --> 00:13:21,741 Of what? Racist Monthly? 291 00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:24,677 Okay... I need you to be bad Raya. 292 00:13:24,713 --> 00:13:26,646 Why? Because you still have feelings for Josh? 293 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:31,601 No, I... For the gazillionth time, my feelings for Josh are none, okay? 294 00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,504 We tried to have a relationship, but we can't! 295 00:13:34,539 --> 00:13:36,890 All right? Wish we could, but we can't, so get off my back! 296 00:13:38,460 --> 00:13:39,843 Is everything okay out here? 297 00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:42,412 Oh... she's pretty. 298 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,797 Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Jain, I'm really sorry, but... 299 00:13:44,833 --> 00:13:47,717 Yes, uh, Raya here is a very skittish bride-to-be. 300 00:13:47,752 --> 00:13:49,786 - What? - You are nervous to meet us. 301 00:13:49,821 --> 00:13:53,756 Yeah, yeah, girl left her bindi dot in the Uber. (laughs) 302 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:55,742 'Nuff said. 303 00:13:55,777 --> 00:13:58,578 - Okay, who wants Vindaloo? - No no no no no no no... 304 00:14:01,650 --> 00:14:04,434 I can't believe we were gonna watch The Fault in our Stars. 305 00:14:04,469 --> 00:14:05,635 Straight guys aren't usually into chick flicks. 306 00:14:05,687 --> 00:14:07,453 You are straight, right? 307 00:14:07,489 --> 00:14:09,422 Hetero and sexual. 308 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,441 I was just in the mood for some feelings and emotions. 309 00:14:11,493 --> 00:14:12,859 You know, which stars are we talking about? 310 00:14:12,861 --> 00:14:16,396 Whose fault is it? These are questions I need answers to! 311 00:14:16,398 --> 00:14:19,399 I'm sorry, again, for talking so much about Vinny on the way over here. 312 00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:20,683 Look, it's only natural. 313 00:14:20,719 --> 00:14:22,402 Your relationship just ended yesterday. 314 00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:24,854 Well, I won't bring him up again, I promise. 315 00:14:24,890 --> 00:14:27,740 It's just it was so dumb of me to stay with him for so long! 316 00:14:27,776 --> 00:14:29,676 You know, I knew his parents wanted an arranged marriage, 317 00:14:29,711 --> 00:14:31,644 so the relationship was just supposed to be about sex, 318 00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,413 but then the sex turned into feelings, 319 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:35,531 and feelings turned into a relationship, and now I'm devastated, 320 00:14:35,567 --> 00:14:37,483 and they better have frickin' Skittles! 321 00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:41,537 I... I get it. 322 00:14:41,573 --> 00:14:44,841 Look, I was in a sex-only thing once that never... turned into feelings. 323 00:14:44,893 --> 00:14:46,426 Really? How did it not? 324 00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:48,461 It just didn't, okay? 325 00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:49,462 (phone ringing) 326 00:14:50,782 --> 00:14:52,448 I'm sorry, it's a business call from China. 327 00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:53,750 Uh, here, take my wallet. 328 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,719 Wei, nin hao. 329 00:14:56,755 --> 00:14:57,787 Do you have a punch card? 330 00:14:57,822 --> 00:14:59,739 Uh... look at that. He does. 331 00:15:02,794 --> 00:15:04,677 No... no no no no no, what the hell are you doing? 332 00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:06,729 No, you can't punch this card! 333 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,631 Oh my god, all the punches are gone. 334 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,683 Uh, isn't that a good thing? Your next yogurt's free. 335 00:15:10,719 --> 00:15:13,620 No! There's no more punches left, and when the punch card's over, that means we're over, 336 00:15:13,655 --> 00:15:15,471 and I don't want us to be over, I love her! 337 00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,809 Oh my god. 338 00:15:19,844 --> 00:15:21,411 I love her. 339 00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:23,429 I love her! 340 00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:26,749 I gotta go. 341 00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,754 Just so you know, we're out of Skittles. 342 00:15:35,151 --> 00:15:40,027 What do I have to do to make you believe me I am not Raya? 343 00:15:40,028 --> 00:15:43,013 We were in your position once. We tried everything we could 344 00:15:43,048 --> 00:15:45,882 to convince our parents we were a bad match. 345 00:15:45,918 --> 00:15:48,318 Look, I'm not Raya! I... I'm not even Indian, 346 00:15:48,353 --> 00:15:50,904 I'm Dominican! My name's Sofia! 347 00:15:52,007 --> 00:15:54,241 She told my parents her name was Becky. 348 00:15:54,276 --> 00:15:58,345 (laughs) And... And... I insisted I was Canadian. 349 00:15:58,347 --> 00:16:00,163 How 'bout them Maple Leafs? Ehh? 350 00:16:00,199 --> 00:16:02,149 (laughing) 351 00:16:02,184 --> 00:16:05,068 This is ridiculous. Okay, look, you want proof that I'm not Raya? 352 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,089 Here, here's my birth control. Says my name on it, Sofia Rodriguez. 353 00:16:09,141 --> 00:16:13,009 And why do I have it? Because I'm having sex. 354 00:16:13,045 --> 00:16:16,146 Not currently, but enough to get a prescription. 355 00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:18,849 Navin, what's going on? 356 00:16:18,901 --> 00:16:19,983 Gabi, what's goin' on? 357 00:16:21,887 --> 00:16:24,988 What's going on is your son doesn't wanna marry Raya! 358 00:16:25,023 --> 00:16:26,957 He's in love with a girl named Marissa! 359 00:16:27,009 --> 00:16:28,892 Who's Marissa? 360 00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:31,228 Well, it's Vinny's soulmate. 361 00:16:31,263 --> 00:16:33,230 Listen, he never set out to disrespect you. 362 00:16:33,265 --> 00:16:35,165 He told me when he first started seeing Marissa, 363 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:39,035 that he made it very clear to her that they could never have a relationship. 364 00:16:39,087 --> 00:16:40,170 It was purely sex. 365 00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:42,222 Oh... god! Oh god. 366 00:16:42,224 --> 00:16:45,926 Uh, but then... I mean, something unexpected happened. 367 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,044 I mean, she tried to pretend that it was just about sex, but it wasn't. 368 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,932 She had... She had feelings for him. I think she always did. 369 00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:54,034 But she was afraid to tell him, because every time they told each other 370 00:16:54,036 --> 00:16:55,077 that they had feelings, 371 00:16:55,077 --> 00:16:58,855 it would just ruin everything, but she... she does have feelings for him, she does, I mean... 372 00:16:58,891 --> 00:17:00,123 I... I think she loves him! 373 00:17:05,197 --> 00:17:10,116 Oh my god. Sofia... is she me? Am I in love with Josh? 374 00:17:10,152 --> 00:17:13,153 Oh my god, yes! 375 00:17:13,188 --> 00:17:16,940 Oh my god! I'm in love with Josh! 376 00:17:16,975 --> 00:17:17,974 I gotta go. 377 00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:22,028 Okay, I don't wanna make this awkward or anything, 378 00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:25,048 but can you three smoosh, 'cause I need a picture for my article. (laughs) 379 00:17:29,021 --> 00:17:30,871 And now you're doin' my job? 380 00:17:32,241 --> 00:17:33,840 How high are you? 381 00:17:35,227 --> 00:17:40,096 I can't believe I actually thought there was a squirrel in here. 382 00:17:40,148 --> 00:17:44,086 Oh... well, let's go home. And give me those damn pills 383 00:17:44,121 --> 00:17:45,185 so I can get rid of them once and for all. 384 00:18:04,873 --> 00:18:05,889 Hey. 385 00:18:05,924 --> 00:18:07,274 - You're home. - Gabi, what are you doin' here? 386 00:18:07,276 --> 00:18:09,042 I needed to talk to you. 387 00:18:09,077 --> 00:18:11,244 I needed to talk to you, too. I went to your place, and you weren't there. 388 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:12,262 Oh, yeah, that's because I'm here. 389 00:18:14,833 --> 00:18:16,166 Um, I thought you were on a date. 390 00:18:16,201 --> 00:18:18,151 That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 391 00:18:18,203 --> 00:18:19,836 - Gabi... - Listen, um... 392 00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:22,188 Can I go first? Because if I don't say what I need to say, 393 00:18:22,190 --> 00:18:24,124 I might not say it. 394 00:18:24,126 --> 00:18:27,110 Okay, but... if I don't say what I need to say... I might not say it. 395 00:18:27,145 --> 00:18:29,963 Okay, but... but... what if what you need to say 396 00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:32,899 makes me not wanna say what I need to say, and then I might not say it, 397 00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:34,885 and I really need to say it, and now I need to sit. 398 00:18:36,004 --> 00:18:37,938 Look, if you're not gonna say what you need to say, 399 00:18:37,940 --> 00:18:39,906 I'm just gonna say what I need to say. 400 00:18:41,977 --> 00:18:42,943 - Josh? - Gabi? 401 00:18:42,978 --> 00:18:44,160 Both: Fine, you go. 402 00:18:44,196 --> 00:18:45,211 No, you go. 403 00:18:45,247 --> 00:18:46,246 - Josh? - Gabi? 404 00:18:46,281 --> 00:18:47,914 Stop! 405 00:18:47,950 --> 00:18:50,166 I know this is crazy, and I know the punch card was supposed 406 00:18:50,202 --> 00:18:51,284 to keep us from having feelings for each other 407 00:18:51,336 --> 00:18:53,362 - because we're horrible together. - Okay. 408 00:18:53,397 --> 00:18:55,071 But then you met Marissa, and you put us on a hold, 409 00:18:55,123 --> 00:18:57,007 and I thought I was fine with that, but really I wasn't. 410 00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:58,332 - Okay. - And so I tried to break up 411 00:18:58,333 --> 00:18:59,133 Vinny's arranged marriage 412 00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:02,062 by making Sofia pretend she was Indian, which was really culturally insensitive, 413 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:05,065 - but I only did it because... - Because what? 414 00:19:05,067 --> 00:19:09,853 Because... I love you. 415 00:19:09,905 --> 00:19:10,904 I love you. 416 00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,039 I love you. 417 00:19:15,310 --> 00:19:16,860 Your turn. 418 00:19:20,916 --> 00:19:24,801 Gabi... the reason I was racing all over town trying to find you... 419 00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:25,885 - is because... - (squirrel chirping) 420 00:19:25,921 --> 00:19:26,886 Both: Aagaahh! 421 00:19:27,737 --> 00:19:28,888 Ahh... 422 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:37,282 Relax, Gabi... the doctor said Josh was going to be okay. 423 00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,418 Turns out it's just a concussion. 424 00:19:39,453 --> 00:19:42,254 Okay, ladies... we're gonna keep him overnight for observation, 425 00:19:42,289 --> 00:19:44,373 and I'm gonna recommend some pain medication. 426 00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,617 Oh, great! I'll pick it up. 427 00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,426 Good luck. 428 00:19:49,462 --> 00:19:50,794 You can see him now. 429 00:19:59,438 --> 00:20:01,839 - Hey. - Oooh... 430 00:20:01,874 --> 00:20:03,374 Ooh. 431 00:20:04,443 --> 00:20:05,542 What happened? 432 00:20:05,578 --> 00:20:08,379 Well, uh... you hit your head. 433 00:20:08,414 --> 00:20:10,547 When you saw the squirrel, you jumped up, and you screamed, 434 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:15,452 in a super manly not-afraid- of-a-harmless-creature kind of way. 435 00:20:15,488 --> 00:20:17,421 You okay? 436 00:20:17,456 --> 00:20:18,489 Yeah, I think so. 437 00:20:18,524 --> 00:20:19,823 Good, good. 438 00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:20,858 Listen, Josh, 439 00:20:20,893 --> 00:20:22,393 I know this could probably wait, 440 00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:23,427 but um... 441 00:20:23,462 --> 00:20:26,864 I kinda said something really big right before the squirrel happened, 442 00:20:26,899 --> 00:20:28,532 and, um... 443 00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:30,401 it was kinda really hard for me to say, 444 00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,435 and I think I know what you were gonna... 445 00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,383 say, but I'm... I'm not sure 446 00:20:34,418 --> 00:20:36,317 that I know know what you were gonna say, 447 00:20:36,317 --> 00:20:37,887 so, um, could you... 448 00:20:37,921 --> 00:20:39,122 kinda say it right now? 449 00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,457 Could I ask you a question first? 450 00:20:41,492 --> 00:20:42,892 Yeah, sure, anything. 451 00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:46,311 Who are you? 452 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,429 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 453 00:20:48,479 --> 00:20:53,029 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35304

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