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1
00:00:04,797 --> 00:00:07,188
Hey, thanks again for
letting us leave early.
2
00:00:07,609 --> 00:00:09,797
Why exactly are you
letting us leave early?
3
00:00:10,182 --> 00:00:11,847
You know what, never mind,
I'm not gonna bring it up,
4
00:00:11,853 --> 00:00:14,942
'cause then you might change your
mind, and I... want to leave early.
5
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,871
You sure you don't wanna come with us
6
00:00:16,877 --> 00:00:19,163
to this off the chain club opening?
7
00:00:19,169 --> 00:00:22,133
I can get another VIP
pass, because I am a PR god.
8
00:00:22,139 --> 00:00:24,133
Thanks, Elliot, but I have a
college buddy comin' over for dinner.
9
00:00:24,139 --> 00:00:25,857
You guys go. Have fun.
10
00:00:25,863 --> 00:00:29,247
Oh, I will. I plan on gettin'
kicked out of the club tonight...
11
00:00:29,253 --> 00:00:30,835
and someone's bed in the morning.
12
00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:34,641
Okay, so the lobster ravioli
is warming on the stove,
13
00:00:34,647 --> 00:00:36,064
the side dishes are in the oven,
14
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,583
and then there's cream pie for dessert.
15
00:00:37,589 --> 00:00:39,053
Ooh, Boston?
16
00:00:39,059 --> 00:00:40,324
No, right there in the fridge.
17
00:00:41,559 --> 00:00:43,754
Okay, so are you sure you don't need me?
18
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,941
Gabi, stop worrying.
We're probably just gonna
19
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:48,271
end up drinkin' beer and eatin'
ravioli right outta the pot.
20
00:00:48,277 --> 00:00:50,315
Pot! That's what I'm missin'.
21
00:00:52,938 --> 00:00:55,487
How great is it that Josh is
giving us the night off early?
22
00:00:55,493 --> 00:00:57,372
- Mm-hm.
- Why do you think he's doing that?
23
00:00:57,608 --> 00:01:01,087
Girl, let it go. Don't look
a gift horse in the mouth.
24
00:01:01,093 --> 00:01:03,262
- You tell her, Seabiscuit.
- (elevator dings)
25
00:01:08,462 --> 00:01:11,699
Um... who are you and
why are you going here?
26
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,320
Uh... this is the penthouse,
right? I'm going to...
27
00:01:14,326 --> 00:01:16,289
- Josh Kaminski's?
- Yeah, and why is that?
28
00:01:16,295 --> 00:01:18,414
He... hired me to serve
him and his guest dinner?
29
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:19,634
And why is that?
30
00:01:19,898 --> 00:01:21,790
Wouldn't you want a professional server
31
00:01:21,796 --> 00:01:24,290
if you were having a business
dinner with Natasha Cook Campbell?
32
00:01:24,296 --> 00:01:26,021
(gasps) Natasha Cook Campbell!
33
00:01:28,124 --> 00:01:29,324
(urgent knocking on door)
34
00:01:29,330 --> 00:01:30,530
Coming!
35
00:01:33,124 --> 00:01:35,025
- Uh, question.
- Can you please make it quick?
36
00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:36,515
My college buddy's
gonna be here any minute.
37
00:01:36,521 --> 00:01:39,200
Oh, you mean your buddy,
award-winning chef, lifestyle guru,
38
00:01:39,206 --> 00:01:41,397
millionaire mogul, and my
idol, Natasha Cook Campbell?
39
00:01:42,905 --> 00:01:46,358
- Dammit!
- (theme music playing)
40
00:01:50,552 --> 00:01:52,744
She's in the spotlight
41
00:01:52,758 --> 00:01:54,415
And she turned my head
42
00:01:54,421 --> 00:01:56,445
She'd run a red light
43
00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:58,226
'Cause she's bad like that
44
00:01:58,232 --> 00:02:01,978
I like that ooh,
baby, ooh, baby, baby
45
00:02:01,984 --> 00:02:05,417
-
I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com
46
00:02:05,423 --> 00:02:08,672
Okay, you know I'm obsessed
with Natasha Cook Campbell.
47
00:02:08,678 --> 00:02:10,874
I mean, she's a genius cook,
brilliant businesswoman,
48
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,511
she's best friends with Yeezy.
49
00:02:13,021 --> 00:02:14,881
She's everything I wanna
be, except for the...
50
00:02:14,887 --> 00:02:16,087
little bit of jail time.
51
00:02:16,093 --> 00:02:18,873
I don't... I don't understand why
you wouldn't want me to meet her?
52
00:02:18,879 --> 00:02:21,751
- 'Cause of this. Look at you!
- What?
53
00:02:21,855 --> 00:02:23,357
You're an obsessed nut job!
54
00:02:23,363 --> 00:02:24,875
I'm trying to do a
business deal with Natasha,
55
00:02:24,881 --> 00:02:26,739
and the last thing I
need is some crackpot
56
00:02:26,745 --> 00:02:28,843
trying to steal a lock of her hair!
57
00:02:29,673 --> 00:02:32,240
I'm sorry, Gabi, I can't trust
you to act professionally.
58
00:02:32,246 --> 00:02:34,922
Can't trust... You can't trust me?
59
00:02:34,928 --> 00:02:37,454
Can I just say that if
we were in a relationship,
60
00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:38,758
I would be so hurt.
61
00:02:38,764 --> 00:02:41,389
Can I just say this is precisely
why we're not in a relationship.
62
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,502
Oh, well, can I just
say I'm hurt anyway.
63
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,380
(knock on door)
64
00:02:46,298 --> 00:02:48,637
A multi-million dollar
deal's on the line.
65
00:02:48,643 --> 00:02:51,276
I know... and as soon as
I get a lock of her hair,
66
00:02:51,282 --> 00:02:52,696
- I will be totally professional...
- Oh my
67
00:02:52,702 --> 00:02:54,492
- God...
- I'm kidding!
68
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,336
I'm gonna be a hundred percent pro-fesh.
69
00:02:57,342 --> 00:02:59,735
Now excuse me, I have a door to answer.
70
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:04,920
Welcome, Ms. Cook Campbell.
71
00:03:04,925 --> 00:03:06,921
Ms. Cook Campbell, I'm Josh Kaminski.
72
00:03:06,927 --> 00:03:08,128
Call me Natasha.
73
00:03:08,134 --> 00:03:11,466
Natasha... (whispers) Cook Campbell.
74
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,741
Ooh, Elliot, tonight
you went from schmuck
75
00:03:17,747 --> 00:03:19,856
to guy I wanna... uch, too far.
76
00:03:20,974 --> 00:03:23,637
But still, I'm impressed you
were able to get us tickets.
77
00:03:23,839 --> 00:03:27,507
When you're as well known as
me in the biz, you ask and...
78
00:03:27,513 --> 00:03:28,733
(snaps fingers)
79
00:03:28,739 --> 00:03:29,939
things happen.
80
00:03:30,737 --> 00:03:33,314
Hey, Elliot, do you know who
the surprise guest is yet?
81
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,522
Is it T. Swift? J. Cole? R. Kelly?
82
00:03:35,956 --> 00:03:39,345
Aww, it's so cute when
the nothings get excited.
83
00:03:39,893 --> 00:03:41,094
(phone ringing)
84
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,375
Oh, it's the club.
85
00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:45,122
Yes, this is Elliot Park.
86
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:46,692
Mm-hmm?
87
00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:50,529
The surprise guest is who now?
88
00:03:50,535 --> 00:03:52,935
(gasps) It's Beyonce!
89
00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,860
- It's Beyonce! It's Beyonce! Oh!
- (others freaking out)
90
00:03:56,866 --> 00:04:00,487
BOTH: Elliot! Elliot! Elliot!
91
00:04:00,493 --> 00:04:04,386
Hold on a second, I can't hear
you. People are chanting my name.
92
00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:10,144
You were saying tonight's
gonna be busy, and... what?
93
00:04:10,343 --> 00:04:12,212
You can no longer accommodate me?
94
00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,232
But you have to!
95
00:04:14,627 --> 00:04:17,922
For the first time in my
life, people are worshiping me.
96
00:04:17,928 --> 00:04:19,231
I'll do anything!
97
00:04:19,534 --> 00:04:21,526
I cannot be a nothing!
98
00:04:22,815 --> 00:04:24,047
Hello?
99
00:04:24,324 --> 00:04:25,524
Oh, no.
100
00:04:26,796 --> 00:04:28,862
So, are we ready to roll?
101
00:04:28,868 --> 00:04:31,073
Actually, there's been
an unexpected development.
102
00:04:31,079 --> 00:04:32,589
I knew you wouldn't come through.
103
00:04:32,595 --> 00:04:34,951
Why would you all of
a sudden be "the man"?
104
00:04:34,957 --> 00:04:38,064
They... upgraded us to the front row!
105
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:40,614
I knew you'd come through
'cause you the man!
106
00:04:40,705 --> 00:04:43,239
Beyonce's gonna sweat on us! Let's go!
107
00:04:43,245 --> 00:04:45,817
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You wanna go now?
108
00:04:45,823 --> 00:04:48,438
So we can be the first ones
there, and look like losers?
109
00:04:48,610 --> 00:04:51,144
How many times have you
two been VIPs at a club?
110
00:04:51,310 --> 00:04:52,510
BOTH: Never.
111
00:04:52,516 --> 00:04:54,779
Take it from a VIP OG.
112
00:04:54,910 --> 00:04:56,974
Beyonce's not gonna
go on until midnight.
113
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,520
The cool people show up at 11:45.
114
00:04:59,526 --> 00:05:01,934
And you know what's
better than seeing Beyonce?
115
00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:03,238
Huh! Nothing!
116
00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:05,621
Wrong! Drinking free booze here,
117
00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:07,223
instead of paying at the club!
118
00:05:07,229 --> 00:05:10,113
Aw, yeah, you know they do overcharge.
119
00:05:10,119 --> 00:05:12,275
- And water it down.
- Exactly.
120
00:05:12,281 --> 00:05:15,477
This'll be the night...
we never... forget.
121
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:18,602
Or hopefully never remember, what?
122
00:05:23,228 --> 00:05:26,627
Natasha, at Kaminski Enterprises,
you're getting more than just an app.
123
00:05:26,633 --> 00:05:28,917
We're gonna take your books,
your videos and your recipes,
124
00:05:28,923 --> 00:05:31,119
and tie them all together
into one digital portal.
125
00:05:31,125 --> 00:05:33,882
Hmmm. I need to run this by Kiki.
126
00:05:33,888 --> 00:05:36,796
What? You're Natasha Cook Campbell,
you don't have to run things by anybody.
127
00:05:36,802 --> 00:05:40,817
Well, no one... except
Kiki Cook Campbell.
128
00:05:42,915 --> 00:05:45,009
She's the only bitch I listen to.
129
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,912
(barks)
130
00:05:46,918 --> 00:05:48,590
Kiki, inside bark!
131
00:05:49,488 --> 00:05:53,280
She's like a daughter to me...
except she's actually in my will.
132
00:05:55,095 --> 00:05:57,041
Look, Josh, I'm gonna be blunt.
133
00:05:57,047 --> 00:05:59,361
A little Tash talk, if you will.
134
00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:04,925
You've pitched me the same thing as
every other pasty tech mogul in town.
135
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:07,394
I want to attract a new demographic.
136
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,886
How are you gonna take
my "Get Paid" chicken
137
00:06:09,892 --> 00:06:12,434
and introduce it to
the younger generation?
138
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:13,663
Your "Get Paid" chicken?
139
00:06:13,731 --> 00:06:14,931
Mm-hm.
140
00:06:14,937 --> 00:06:16,341
(stammers)
141
00:06:16,347 --> 00:06:17,832
It's only her best recipe!
142
00:06:17,838 --> 00:06:19,826
It's called "Get Paid" chicken because
when you finally get your paycheck,
143
00:06:19,832 --> 00:06:22,246
you can afford to cook
yourself a good meal. (gasps)
144
00:06:22,628 --> 00:06:25,381
Um, can I just say, I actually...
I don't call it "Get Paid" chicken,
145
00:06:25,387 --> 00:06:27,303
because when I cook it for a
date, it's such a hit, I call it
146
00:06:27,309 --> 00:06:29,098
- "Get Laid" chicken!
- Gabi!
147
00:06:29,215 --> 00:06:32,982
- "Get Laid"? I love it!
- Natasha, I am so sorry.
148
00:06:32,988 --> 00:06:36,354
I have been trying to hip up everything.
149
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:39,371
Two years ago I rejuvenated
my lady business,
150
00:06:39,557 --> 00:06:43,371
and it's ideas like that that can
rejuvenate my business business!
151
00:06:43,377 --> 00:06:46,596
Natasha, you wanna know what separates
me from the other pasty people?
152
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:48,205
Gabi Diamond!
153
00:06:48,796 --> 00:06:52,507
She's a great chef, beautiful,
young, and oh, so fun!
154
00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,674
Gabi, I have a great feeling about you.
155
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,947
I think you and I are gonna
be writing a cookbook together.
156
00:07:00,381 --> 00:07:02,609
Oh, I'm sorry, I just
blacked out for a moment.
157
00:07:02,821 --> 00:07:05,657
You... you wanna write
a cookbook with me?
158
00:07:05,663 --> 00:07:09,672
Yes, you have a raw, sexy
energy that I want in my books!
159
00:07:09,678 --> 00:07:12,625
And you were smart enough to
hire her. The contract is yours.
160
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,334
(phone rings)
161
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,940
Oh, this is the fifth time my
editor is calling me tonight.
162
00:07:16,946 --> 00:07:19,435
Now she could use some of
that "Get Laid" chicken.
163
00:07:19,726 --> 00:07:21,241
Hey, Natasha, why don't
you take it in my office?
164
00:07:21,247 --> 00:07:23,239
Oh, okay. Hello?
165
00:07:24,558 --> 00:07:26,747
(singsong) I'm writing a book
with Natasha Cook Campbell!
166
00:07:26,753 --> 00:07:28,359
(singsong) I'm doin' a digital platform!
167
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,362
Oh my God... could
things get any better?
168
00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:32,268
We're a power non-couple!
169
00:07:33,479 --> 00:07:35,892
Oh, Kiki, I almost stepped on you!
170
00:07:35,898 --> 00:07:37,973
Can you imagine if I stepped
on Kiki Cook Campbell,
171
00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:40,689
who Natasha Cook Campbell loves
more than her own daughter? (laughs)
172
00:07:40,695 --> 00:07:42,013
- (barking)
- Kiki stop!
173
00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:43,689
- (barking)
- Kiki, stop... (gasps)
174
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:45,590
Do you want your ball?
Do you want your ball?
175
00:07:45,596 --> 00:07:48,273
Here you go! Here's
your ball, go get it!
176
00:07:48,279 --> 00:07:49,479
(barks)
177
00:07:51,473 --> 00:07:53,075
BOTH: Nooooo!
178
00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:56,593
Whoa! Why would you throw a
dog's ball over the terrace?!
179
00:07:56,599 --> 00:07:58,928
I didn't throw it over the terrace,
I threw it towards the terrace.
180
00:07:58,934 --> 00:08:01,428
How was I supposed to
know that balls bounce?
181
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,415
I can't see her anywhere.
182
00:08:03,421 --> 00:08:05,850
Yeah... 'cause she's in heaven.
183
00:08:06,391 --> 00:08:08,531
This is horrible!
184
00:08:08,834 --> 00:08:10,086
Oh my God, she saw.
185
00:08:10,092 --> 00:08:12,583
My editor was in a car accident,
I have to get to the hospital.
186
00:08:12,589 --> 00:08:14,179
- Oh, thank God.
- Oh, that's fantastic.
187
00:08:14,185 --> 00:08:16,211
- That is horrible!
- Tragic!
188
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,718
All right, now where is Kiki?
189
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:22,856
Uhh... uhh... say, Gabi, where is Kiki?
190
00:08:22,862 --> 00:08:24,972
- Oh... look! Here she is.
- (collar tinkling)
191
00:08:24,978 --> 00:08:26,962
Oh, Kiki, time to go.
192
00:08:26,968 --> 00:08:29,928
Oh, look... look at that, she's
following me, that's so cute.
193
00:08:29,934 --> 00:08:32,837
- Come here, Kiki, come here, Kiki...
- Kiki, now!
194
00:08:34,420 --> 00:08:35,823
Oh-ooh! Here's a thought.
195
00:08:35,829 --> 00:08:38,584
Why don't Josh and I watch her, and
you can just come pick her up later?
196
00:08:38,590 --> 00:08:40,037
- Ohh!
- Oh, G...
197
00:08:40,043 --> 00:08:43,039
I could never leave my baby.
198
00:08:43,045 --> 00:08:44,971
But she is my editor.
199
00:08:44,977 --> 00:08:48,020
Oh, God, it's Natasha's choice.
200
00:08:48,026 --> 00:08:50,113
(crying)
201
00:08:50,119 --> 00:08:51,319
Did that seem real?
202
00:08:52,056 --> 00:08:53,480
Because that's what I'm gonna do
203
00:08:53,486 --> 00:08:55,066
when they take my picture
outside the hospital.
204
00:08:55,072 --> 00:08:56,581
That's... that was great.
It was really great!
205
00:08:56,587 --> 00:08:59,259
So believable. We will watch Kiki. Bye!
206
00:08:59,457 --> 00:09:02,396
Wow. This was a really great night.
207
00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,719
Well, except for my editor,
208
00:09:03,725 --> 00:09:05,911
who they think could be
dead by the time I get there.
209
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,424
(dramatically) No! Not Diana!
210
00:09:08,430 --> 00:09:10,130
Noooo!
211
00:09:10,136 --> 00:09:11,960
Okay, that one might've been
a little bit over the top.
212
00:09:11,966 --> 00:09:14,538
I'm not gonna do that one. I'm
gonna go practice in the elevator.
213
00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:17,347
All right, watch my baby for me, please.
214
00:09:17,353 --> 00:09:18,553
Okay, we will!
215
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,347
- Bye.
- Bye!
216
00:09:26,737 --> 00:09:30,900
In honor of Beyonce, all
the single ladies do a shot!
217
00:09:30,906 --> 00:09:32,106
Yeah!
218
00:09:32,284 --> 00:09:33,588
Mm-mm!
219
00:09:33,594 --> 00:09:35,803
Now all the divorced ladies do two!
220
00:09:36,778 --> 00:09:38,872
(laughs) My divorce was pretty rough.
221
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:41,177
I'll take three! (laughs)
222
00:09:41,270 --> 00:09:43,177
Kendrick? It's Sofia.
223
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:45,692
E... even though this might
make things awkward at work,
224
00:09:45,698 --> 00:09:47,920
I have to say... I love you...
225
00:09:47,926 --> 00:09:49,839
- and I wanna suck...
- Okays!
226
00:09:50,597 --> 00:09:52,603
- We're drunk enough to go.
- (laughs)
227
00:09:52,609 --> 00:09:54,335
Waaait!
228
00:09:54,731 --> 00:09:58,273
You're gonna let Beyonce see
you bitches without volume?
229
00:09:58,279 --> 00:09:59,614
Hair flip!
230
00:10:04,259 --> 00:10:05,759
Okay, let's go.
231
00:10:05,765 --> 00:10:07,785
- (exhaling loudly)
- (Elliot chuckling nervously)
232
00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:12,140
Wait a second. It's only 9:00. (sighs)
233
00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:14,281
What did I say before, nothings?
234
00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:16,050
- Don't show up early.
- Or we'll look like losers.
235
00:10:16,056 --> 00:10:18,862
Exactly. So what do we do while we wait?
236
00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:20,225
Beyonce-tinis!
237
00:10:20,231 --> 00:10:22,091
- A-ha!
- Atta girls!
238
00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:29,473
Did you find Kiki?
Tell me you found Kiki.
239
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:30,794
I found her. I found her.
240
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,693
A whole Kiki, or in Kiki pieces?
241
00:10:32,699 --> 00:10:34,817
Whole Kiki. Whole Kiki.
242
00:10:34,823 --> 00:10:36,714
How... how the hell did she survive?
243
00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:38,907
Well, she miraculously landed
244
00:10:38,913 --> 00:10:40,140
(whispered) on this.
245
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:46,282
Uh, Louis, this is Josh.
Josh, this is Louis.
246
00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:47,642
- Wow.
- Kiki, thank God...
247
00:10:47,648 --> 00:10:50,345
Nice place. What do you
do for a livin'? Work?
248
00:10:50,736 --> 00:10:54,642
And like I told the blonde here,
this isn't Kiki, this is Wagon.
249
00:10:54,734 --> 00:10:56,846
- What?
- Damn, Wagon.
250
00:10:56,852 --> 00:10:59,053
Can you believe this place?
251
00:10:59,598 --> 00:11:01,804
Look at the size of that ottoman!
252
00:11:01,810 --> 00:11:03,425
You still have the box it came in?
253
00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:07,311
- What's going on here?
- Okay, so, I tried to tell Louis
254
00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,897
that Kiki was Natasha's dog,
255
00:11:08,903 --> 00:11:10,662
but he insisted that that was "Wagon,"
256
00:11:10,668 --> 00:11:13,376
short for "Off the Wagon,"
which he clearly is.
257
00:11:14,781 --> 00:11:17,580
Okay... how much for the dog?
258
00:11:17,586 --> 00:11:19,369
- Excuse me?
- Businessman to con man,
259
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,987
how much do you want
for Kiki? Five thousand?
260
00:11:20,993 --> 00:11:24,261
I told you, this isn't Kiki, this
is Wagon, and Wagon is not for sale.
261
00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:26,272
- Ten thousand.
- You know...
262
00:11:26,278 --> 00:11:27,856
this nice young lady invited me up
263
00:11:27,862 --> 00:11:29,944
for a home-cooked meal out
of the kindness of her heart,
264
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:32,870
and here you are, flashing all
your money, trying to separate me
265
00:11:32,876 --> 00:11:34,322
from my only friend in the world.
266
00:11:34,328 --> 00:11:36,818
- Twenty thousand.
- Heeeeere's Wagon!
267
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,935
Hey, uh, Louis... do you...
268
00:11:42,941 --> 00:11:46,005
Wanna go out with you? Nah!
I'm rich now. I got options.
269
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,239
Here ya go!
270
00:11:50,245 --> 00:11:52,520
Oh my God. Josh, you just have
that kinda money lying around?
271
00:11:52,526 --> 00:11:54,840
Gabi, I'm rich. I have
lots of money in my office.
272
00:11:54,846 --> 00:11:57,338
Next to my full-time security
guard. Big guy, big, big guy!
273
00:11:57,995 --> 00:12:00,279
Anyway... buh-bye, Louis.
274
00:12:00,285 --> 00:12:02,367
Well... take good care of Wagon now.
275
00:12:02,373 --> 00:12:04,605
I'm off to the bank... or a race track.
276
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,292
Ha! Oh my God! We got Kiki back!
277
00:12:09,298 --> 00:12:11,141
We got Kiki baaack!
278
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,712
Why aren't you happy?
279
00:12:13,718 --> 00:12:16,329
Uh, do you not remember that
you just cost me $20,000?
280
00:12:16,335 --> 00:12:18,329
Do you not remember how
we thought Kiki was dead,
281
00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:19,828
and now she's alive, and she's here?
282
00:12:19,834 --> 00:12:21,781
Do you not remember how none
of this would've happened
283
00:12:21,787 --> 00:12:24,001
- if you just went to that stupid club.
- Okay, can we not do the
284
00:12:24,007 --> 00:12:26,318
"do you not remembers" because
I think we all remembers.
285
00:12:26,693 --> 00:12:29,739
Oh, especially the one where
Natasha was out the door
286
00:12:29,745 --> 00:12:31,458
until I brought up "Get Laid" chicken!
287
00:12:31,464 --> 00:12:33,281
I mean, if it wasn't for
me, you'd have nothing!
288
00:12:33,287 --> 00:12:37,097
Oh, right... because I didn't have
my penthouse or... or my company,
289
00:12:37,103 --> 00:12:39,497
or my millions before you
rhymed "paid" with "laid"!
290
00:12:39,503 --> 00:12:41,944
- Oh my God, you are being so...
- (dog barks)
291
00:12:41,950 --> 00:12:45,103
Kiki! Kiki, stop! Kiki, get off!
292
00:12:45,109 --> 00:12:47,174
- Do you want your ball? Yeah, okay!
- (dog barks)
293
00:12:47,489 --> 00:12:50,020
- Hey, go get your ball...
- Stop! Stop!
294
00:12:50,026 --> 00:12:51,915
Have you learned nothing?
295
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:54,905
You do not throw balls
towards the terrace!
296
00:12:55,229 --> 00:12:56,429
(dog barks)
297
00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:58,202
- No!
- No!
298
00:12:58,309 --> 00:13:01,192
Okay... at a certain
point, it's the dog's fault!
299
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,864
Ohhhh, she's gone this time,
Gabi! She's gone, baby, gone!
300
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,361
It's dead! My cookbook deal is dead!
301
00:13:11,367 --> 00:13:12,678
(phone ringing)
302
00:13:14,402 --> 00:13:16,771
- Oh my God, Natasha's face-timing you!
- I'm not answering it!
303
00:13:16,777 --> 00:13:18,000
Okay, but if you don't
answer, she's gonna think
304
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,117
- something horrible happened to Kiki.
- Well, if I do answer it, she's gonna
305
00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:21,473
know something horrible
happened to Kiki.
306
00:13:21,479 --> 00:13:22,703
Okay, I'm just gonna hit ignore.
307
00:13:22,709 --> 00:13:24,943
Dammit! I hit accept,
I do that all the time.
308
00:13:25,389 --> 00:13:27,631
Hi, Natasha!
309
00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:30,831
Hi, how's my little angel?
Would you put her on the phone?
310
00:13:30,837 --> 00:13:32,871
- I wanna see her face.
- (hushed) Kiki had a walk.
311
00:13:32,877 --> 00:13:35,104
- What? I don't know what you're saying,
- Tell her I took Kiki for a walk!
312
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:36,729
- you tell her.
- I took Kiki for a walk!
313
00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:39,197
And because I'm talking to you right
now, because Gabi gave me the phone,
314
00:13:39,203 --> 00:13:40,564
that must mean I'm back with Kiki!
315
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,923
- (barking)
- Oh, I hear her!
316
00:13:43,929 --> 00:13:46,118
- Oh my God. I hear her, too.
- I hear her, too.
317
00:13:46,124 --> 00:13:48,740
She's alive... force!
318
00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:51,791
She's a life force, just
perks up everything around her.
319
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:53,033
We adore her.
320
00:13:53,039 --> 00:13:55,841
Aw. Well, tell her Mommy's on
her way to pick her back up,
321
00:13:55,847 --> 00:13:58,020
- And I love her...
- Okay, bye-bye!
322
00:13:58,026 --> 00:13:59,765
Oh my God, she's here! She's here!
323
00:13:59,771 --> 00:14:00,878
- (barking)
- (whistling)
324
00:14:00,884 --> 00:14:03,030
(gasps) Oh my God, she's
on the terrace below us,
325
00:14:03,036 --> 00:14:05,054
she must've hit the awning
and slid off onto the balcony,
326
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,544
- we gotta go get her!
- We... we can't just
327
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:08,053
go into the apartment,
it's empty, it's for sale.
328
00:14:08,059 --> 00:14:10,754
- Well, can't you just buy it?
- It takes a little longer
329
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:12,473
than five minutes to
purchase real estate!
330
00:14:12,479 --> 00:14:15,064
Excuse me for being a renter!
331
00:14:15,260 --> 00:14:18,848
Can I just say once again how glad
I am we are not in a relationship?
332
00:14:18,854 --> 00:14:20,361
Can I just say I'm gladder!
333
00:14:20,367 --> 00:14:21,871
Can I just say I'm the gladdest,
334
00:14:21,877 --> 00:14:23,943
because if we were, I would
have to stay here with you,
335
00:14:23,949 --> 00:14:26,844
but instead, I get to go home, and I
get to watch the horror movie marathon
336
00:14:26,850 --> 00:14:28,539
that I DVR'd. I'm gonna watch The Purge,
337
00:14:28,545 --> 00:14:30,831
Insidious, Saw, Silence
of the Lambs... (gasps)
338
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:33,503
Silence of the Lambs, oh my
God, the fat girl's stuck in the well,
339
00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:35,078
and she puts the bone in the
basket, and the dog jumps in,
340
00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:37,019
we gotta get a bone and a basket!
341
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,366
YOLANDA (in her sleep): Mm-mm... mm-mm.
342
00:14:44,954 --> 00:14:46,765
(quiet snoring)
343
00:14:48,859 --> 00:14:50,171
(Yolanda sighs)
344
00:14:51,933 --> 00:14:53,355
- (louder snoring)
- (pop)
345
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:00,737
(door slamming)
346
00:15:00,743 --> 00:15:02,852
- Aaah! (spitting)
- Ah! What the hell?
347
00:15:02,946 --> 00:15:06,252
Oh my God! How amazing was that?
348
00:15:06,258 --> 00:15:07,868
How amazing was what?
349
00:15:07,938 --> 00:15:09,833
Yeah, fool, what're you talkin' about?
350
00:15:09,839 --> 00:15:11,977
Very funny, guuuys!
351
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:15,204
Beyonce! At the club toniiight!
352
00:15:16,297 --> 00:15:19,189
Oh my God! Look at the time!
353
00:15:19,195 --> 00:15:20,988
(gasps) Two-thirty?
354
00:15:20,994 --> 00:15:23,509
Oh my damn, we missed the whole thing!
355
00:15:23,515 --> 00:15:26,119
- Are you kidding me? We just got back!
- YOLANDA: What?
356
00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:28,815
Do you seriously not remember
anything that happened tonight?
357
00:15:28,821 --> 00:15:32,002
The last thing I remember was
you yelling "chug, chug, chug,"
358
00:15:32,008 --> 00:15:34,403
while I drank vodka from a salad bowl.
359
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,590
Yeah, right before our limo showed up.
360
00:15:37,596 --> 00:15:38,800
Limo?
361
00:15:38,806 --> 00:15:42,078
So... we went to the show?
I don't remember any of this.
362
00:15:42,084 --> 00:15:45,513
Well... Beyonce will remember you.
363
00:15:45,519 --> 00:15:50,299
Backstage, you taught Blue how to
sing Single Ladies in Spanish.
364
00:15:50,608 --> 00:15:52,598
Todas Las chicas solteras?
365
00:15:54,436 --> 00:15:58,207
Then you and Beyonce stood by a mirror
and laughed... because she said you two
366
00:15:58,213 --> 00:15:59,682
- could be sisters!
- YOLANDA: Oh?
367
00:15:59,688 --> 00:16:02,537
Now that you mention it...
this is all comin' back to me!
368
00:16:02,543 --> 00:16:03,743
Ha!
369
00:16:03,932 --> 00:16:07,755
Finally! It was the greatest night ever!
370
00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:09,163
Yes, it was!
371
00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:11,787
Oh my God! I just remembered.
372
00:16:11,793 --> 00:16:14,359
I made out with Beyonce's bodyguard!
373
00:16:14,365 --> 00:16:16,266
- (Elliot laughing)
- That makes two of us!
374
00:16:16,272 --> 00:16:17,767
(all laughing)
375
00:16:17,773 --> 00:16:20,995
- We partied with Beyonce!
- (all laughing)
376
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:23,997
The PR god really came
through for you guys!
377
00:16:24,003 --> 00:16:25,893
- (both laughing)
- I'm gonna get going!
378
00:16:25,899 --> 00:16:27,368
Chant me out.
379
00:16:27,472 --> 00:16:34,179
BOTH: Elliot! Elliot! Elliot! Elliot!
380
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,594
God, the nothings are stupid.
381
00:16:40,975 --> 00:16:43,350
(gasps) My God... I feel a tug!
382
00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:47,875
- I think I got her! Okay.
- Okay! Just go slow! Go slow!
383
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,808
- (doorbell rings)
- Go fast! Go fast!
384
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,745
(straining)
385
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:57,483
(gasps) Oh my God, Kiki, you're alive!
386
00:16:57,489 --> 00:16:59,736
Wait a minute. All that and
you don't even have the ball?
387
00:17:02,958 --> 00:17:05,030
Natasha, hey, how's your editor doing?
388
00:17:05,036 --> 00:17:06,483
Oh, she's gonna be fine.
389
00:17:06,489 --> 00:17:10,702
You know, I didn't realize how much
I truly cared about her until tonight?
390
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,967
I mean, she's not just my editor.
391
00:17:12,973 --> 00:17:15,402
- She's my best friend.
- Mm.
392
00:17:15,408 --> 00:17:17,256
TMZ ate that up!
393
00:17:17,892 --> 00:17:20,172
Oh, there's my baby!
394
00:17:20,178 --> 00:17:22,172
I hope she wasn't too much trouble.
395
00:17:22,178 --> 00:17:24,094
No, she just... played a lotta fetch.
396
00:17:24,100 --> 00:17:26,892
Ha! Yeah, she really
flies after those balls!
397
00:17:27,769 --> 00:17:32,170
Anyway... my people will be in
touch about the project and the book.
398
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,758
- Oh, looking forward to it.
- Sounds good.
399
00:17:33,764 --> 00:17:36,561
And please feel free to reach out
to me if you have any questions.
400
00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:38,960
Well, I do have just one...
401
00:17:39,043 --> 00:17:41,457
why does my little girl have a dick?
402
00:17:42,930 --> 00:17:45,947
Uhhh... well, that's a good question.
403
00:17:45,953 --> 00:17:48,735
Uh, first off, are you sure
that he has... oh, now I see it.
404
00:17:49,824 --> 00:17:52,258
Where is Kiki Cook Campbell?
405
00:17:52,544 --> 00:17:54,271
- Uh...
- (barking)
406
00:17:54,277 --> 00:17:56,057
Okay, Natasha, here's the thing.
407
00:17:56,552 --> 00:18:00,358
When we were on the phone, we were... we
were playing on the balcony, and then...
408
00:18:00,364 --> 00:18:02,842
and then Gabi threw the ball, and
then Kiki jumped and she fell...
409
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,366
In love!
410
00:18:04,469 --> 00:18:05,674
Kiki?
411
00:18:05,965 --> 00:18:07,181
Yep!
412
00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:11,575
That's her. Here ya go.
413
00:18:11,581 --> 00:18:14,365
This is so confusing.
414
00:18:14,371 --> 00:18:17,952
Well, you know, with... with all
this talk about "Get Laid" chicken,
415
00:18:17,958 --> 00:18:20,390
I looked at Kiki, saw
she was alone, and...
416
00:18:20,396 --> 00:18:22,656
thought as a fun, sexy story, for...
417
00:18:22,662 --> 00:18:26,479
our book, um, I could find
her a boyfriend, and I did!
418
00:18:26,485 --> 00:18:28,583
Hence the... dick.
419
00:18:28,589 --> 00:18:32,132
Um... (laughs) So meet... Wagon.
420
00:18:32,639 --> 00:18:34,505
Why is he wearing her collar?
421
00:18:34,511 --> 00:18:37,350
Oh! We... we just wanted Wagon
to get used to Kiki's scent.
422
00:18:37,356 --> 00:18:39,218
- Mm.
- You know... (hushed) pheromones.
423
00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:41,633
Oh, and look at that,
he loves her already.
424
00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:45,905
Adorable! You two seem great together.
425
00:18:45,911 --> 00:18:47,321
- Wait... us?
- Are you insane?
426
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:50,035
- Not you, the dogs!
- (elevator dings)
427
00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,052
I'll be in touch tomorrow
about the contracts.
428
00:18:52,058 --> 00:18:55,290
If you'll excuse me, I have a
doggie wedding to plan and cater.
429
00:18:55,296 --> 00:18:57,120
Third time's the charm.
430
00:19:00,461 --> 00:19:01,661
Bye!
431
00:19:02,831 --> 00:19:06,116
Oh my God! I can't
believe we pulled that off!
432
00:19:06,332 --> 00:19:09,857
Kiki must've also landed on the
awning, slid off, and then, somehow,
433
00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:12,254
- made her way up the stairwell.
- Who cares!
434
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:15,310
My God, you got the deal with
Natasha freakin' Cook Campbell.
435
00:19:15,316 --> 00:19:16,553
So did you.
436
00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:18,979
You know, it's too bad
we're not in a relationship.
437
00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:22,167
We work well together.
We'd be a pretty good team.
438
00:19:22,557 --> 00:19:26,152
Yeah, but then... someone would do
something to make the other one mad.
439
00:19:26,846 --> 00:19:30,429
What could you possibly do to make me
any more mad than what you did tonight?
440
00:19:31,940 --> 00:19:33,323
I got her hair!
441
00:19:37,052 --> 00:19:38,432
And then get this...
442
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:41,692
Beyonce calls me
onstage to sing with her!
443
00:19:41,698 --> 00:19:43,372
Oh my God, you sang with Beyonce?
444
00:19:43,378 --> 00:19:45,170
Sang! With Yonce!
445
00:19:45,176 --> 00:19:48,609
Wow. Well, you are not the
only one who had a crazy night.
446
00:19:48,615 --> 00:19:51,881
Natasha Cook Campbell's dog
flew off Josh's terrace twice
447
00:19:51,887 --> 00:19:54,385
and lived, and I still got
a cookbook deal out of it!
448
00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:58,779
Okay, Gabi, now it just sounds like
you're making stuff up to top my story.
449
00:19:58,785 --> 00:19:59,985
(knock on door)
450
00:20:00,333 --> 00:20:02,640
Am I? Or is that Natasha Cook Campbell
451
00:20:02,646 --> 00:20:05,567
bringing over the contracts for
our book deal, ah, right now.
452
00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:06,773
(Sofia gasps)
453
00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:09,659
Hi, Natasha Cook Campbell.
Hi, Kiki Cook Campbell.
454
00:20:09,927 --> 00:20:11,945
This is, uh, Sofia, my roommate.
455
00:20:11,951 --> 00:20:13,516
Hi, Natasha. (laughs nervously)
456
00:20:13,522 --> 00:20:16,352
Latina roommate, small enclosed spaces.
457
00:20:16,358 --> 00:20:18,454
(shudders) Prison flashback.
458
00:20:20,312 --> 00:20:22,323
Well, shall we make this official?
459
00:20:22,365 --> 00:20:24,263
Looks like you could use the money.
460
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:26,373
Oh, well, where do I sign?
461
00:20:26,881 --> 00:20:28,081
(barks)
462
00:20:28,087 --> 00:20:30,904
Oh? Looks like I'm not
the only one who's excited.
463
00:20:30,910 --> 00:20:33,374
You'd think Kiki'd be tired
after playin' all that fetch.
464
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:37,428
Aww... Kiki... you like to play fetch?
465
00:20:37,434 --> 00:20:40,124
Oh, okay... go get it!
466
00:20:42,546 --> 00:20:44,164
- (gasps and screams)
- (car horn)
467
00:20:44,170 --> 00:20:45,370
Oh my god!
468
00:20:45,376 --> 00:20:48,623
- (gasps) Nooooo!
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com
469
00:20:48,673 --> 00:20:53,223
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