Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,418 --> 00:00:02,787
Okay. Fortune cookie time.
2
00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:04,169
Pick one.
3
00:00:04,396 --> 00:00:06,014
This one. No, this one.
4
00:00:06,083 --> 00:00:07,808
- No, this one.
- Okay, how about this one?
5
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:14,018
"When asked, you will
gladly bend over backwards."
6
00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:15,666
Boring!
7
00:00:16,718 --> 00:00:18,098
Yeah, they're all boring.
8
00:00:18,099 --> 00:00:20,267
That's why you have to add "in bed."
9
00:00:22,316 --> 00:00:25,485
"When asked, you will gladly
bend over backwards..."
10
00:00:25,486 --> 00:00:26,931
Both: In bed!
11
00:00:26,932 --> 00:00:28,307
(Laughing)
12
00:00:28,308 --> 00:00:30,514
- That's good. Okay. Your turn. Your turn.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
13
00:00:30,515 --> 00:00:32,716
Oh, please tell me I'm going to get a job.
14
00:00:33,785 --> 00:00:35,719
What? Are you kidding me?
15
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,920
I got nothing.
16
00:00:37,542 --> 00:00:38,819
In bed!
17
00:00:40,318 --> 00:00:43,461
No. I... I really don't have
anything. My cookie's empty.
18
00:00:43,729 --> 00:00:45,062
In bed!
19
00:00:45,063 --> 00:00:46,492
(Laughing) I love it!
20
00:00:46,493 --> 00:00:48,602
Gabi, stop. I'm really depressed.
21
00:00:48,603 --> 00:00:50,036
It's obvious I'm never going to get a job
22
00:00:50,037 --> 00:00:52,004
and this cookie doesn't
have the balls to tell me.
23
00:00:52,694 --> 00:00:54,926
Okay. Well, you're never going to get a job
24
00:00:54,927 --> 00:00:56,728
sitting at home reading
fortune cookies. Okay?
25
00:00:56,729 --> 00:00:58,096
You have to take this seriously.
26
00:00:58,097 --> 00:01:00,732
You have to go somewhere that actually
is going to help you find a job.
27
00:01:00,733 --> 00:01:02,667
(Scoffs) And where is that?
28
00:01:03,435 --> 00:01:05,215
The spirits are telling me
29
00:01:05,216 --> 00:01:07,473
that money is coming your way.
30
00:01:08,189 --> 00:01:10,571
Okay. How is this different
from a fortune cookie?
31
00:01:11,945 --> 00:01:14,137
Well, she's not a cookie,
32
00:01:14,485 --> 00:01:16,586
and she is a trained professional.
33
00:01:16,587 --> 00:01:18,163
This is ridiculous.
34
00:01:18,823 --> 00:01:20,996
I see that soon you will be...
35
00:01:21,021 --> 00:01:23,474
asking for a refund "in bed."
36
00:01:24,862 --> 00:01:26,862
(Theme music playing)
37
00:01:31,105 --> 00:01:33,239
She in the spotlight
38
00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,093
and she turned my head
39
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:37,107
she run a red light
40
00:01:37,108 --> 00:01:38,902
'cause she bad like that
41
00:01:38,903 --> 00:01:42,706
I like that, ooh, baby, ooh, baby, baby
42
00:01:42,707 --> 00:01:45,814
-
I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby
- Sync/corrections PetaG - www.addic7ed.com
43
00:01:46,382 --> 00:01:47,915
I can't believe you brought me here.
44
00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,751
Well, where was I supposed to bring you?
45
00:01:49,785 --> 00:01:51,853
Uh... I don't know. A job counselor?
46
00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:53,699
(Scoffing)
47
00:01:53,737 --> 00:01:55,189
A job counselor.
48
00:01:55,224 --> 00:01:56,791
Like that's not a total scam!
49
00:01:58,537 --> 00:02:00,470
I'm sensing tension.
50
00:02:00,471 --> 00:02:03,033
(Gasps) See? She's good.
51
00:02:04,399 --> 00:02:06,800
Okay. Yeah, okay.
52
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:10,170
Absolute stranger with rudimentary
skills at reading facial cues,
53
00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:11,905
tell me my "future."
54
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:15,742
Ooh, I'm getting something.
55
00:02:15,743 --> 00:02:18,010
I sense that both of your lives
56
00:02:18,011 --> 00:02:19,436
are about to be shaken up.
57
00:02:19,437 --> 00:02:21,781
- (Gasps) Oh, my God.
- That's super vague.
58
00:02:22,849 --> 00:02:24,250
There's more.
59
00:02:24,251 --> 00:02:26,957
(Softly) There's going to be
a seismic shift in your world.
60
00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:29,218
- (Gasps) Oh, my God.
- You just said the same thing...
61
00:02:29,219 --> 00:02:30,627
(Whispering) But you whispered it.
62
00:02:32,626 --> 00:02:35,160
The tremors are gonna ripple through...
63
00:02:35,161 --> 00:02:37,000
now you're just using different words.
64
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:38,536
Earthquake, bitch!
65
00:02:39,399 --> 00:02:41,099
There's going to be an earthquake!
66
00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:44,569
See? See what you did. You made her mad
and now there's going to be an earthquake.
67
00:02:44,604 --> 00:02:48,640
Gabi, come on. Anyone can predict
an earthquake. This is San Francisco.
68
00:02:48,675 --> 00:02:51,442
But she didn't say exactly
when it was gonna happen.
69
00:02:51,443 --> 00:02:53,530
It's gonna happen the next time you pee.
70
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:54,970
Me?
71
00:03:02,256 --> 00:03:06,411
Sofia, could you take the, ah, cake samples
over to the table, please? I can't move.
72
00:03:07,428 --> 00:03:10,326
Gabi, this is not healthy.
Would you just pee already?
73
00:03:14,535 --> 00:03:16,565
The fate of San Francisco
74
00:03:16,566 --> 00:03:18,096
rests on my bladder.
75
00:03:20,922 --> 00:03:22,257
You are being ridiculous.
76
00:03:22,258 --> 00:03:26,055
Oh, I don't think anything about
this situation is ridiculous.
77
00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:34,772
Oh, my God. Our wedding cake has
to be this dark chocolate ganache.
78
00:03:34,773 --> 00:03:36,012
It's my number one choice.
79
00:03:36,602 --> 00:03:37,802
Please don't say "number one."
80
00:03:39,841 --> 00:03:41,223
But I like the peanut butter.
81
00:03:41,224 --> 00:03:42,893
Mmm. Please don't say pee.
82
00:03:44,215 --> 00:03:46,933
Okay, that's enough. Come over
here. I gotta tell you something.
83
00:03:46,934 --> 00:03:48,469
No, no, no, no, no.
84
00:03:48,926 --> 00:03:51,905
Sofia, what, okay? I'm
doing cake tasting... (Gasps)
85
00:03:52,139 --> 00:03:53,841
- (Sneezes)
- Yes!
86
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,042
Oh, no!
87
00:03:55,043 --> 00:03:56,544
Take cover, everybody!
88
00:03:57,464 --> 00:03:59,371
Damn, how bad does she have to go?
89
00:03:59,511 --> 00:04:01,046
Sofia, what's going on?
90
00:04:01,047 --> 00:04:03,415
Gabi thinks that if she pees
there's going to be an...
91
00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:04,755
Earthquake!
92
00:04:11,287 --> 00:04:13,607
Hey! Did you guys feel
that? Is everybody okay?
93
00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:15,890
Did anything break?
94
00:04:16,985 --> 00:04:18,852
Yeah. My diet.
95
00:04:25,702 --> 00:04:27,235
Thank you so much for squeezing us in.
96
00:04:27,236 --> 00:04:30,578
Yes, I am so sorry that I ever
doubted you. Ye have much wisdom.
97
00:04:31,141 --> 00:04:33,102
Can you tell us everything
that's going to happen?
98
00:04:33,103 --> 00:04:34,665
Yeah. Don't leave anything out, okay?
99
00:04:34,666 --> 00:04:36,810
And first off, ah, is it safe to pee again?
100
00:04:37,584 --> 00:04:38,784
(Chiming)
101
00:04:38,785 --> 00:04:40,847
- Aha!
- Ooh, what does that mean?
102
00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,878
Mmm. My microwave popcorn is done.
103
00:04:43,118 --> 00:04:46,885
Ooh! Ah! Yes!
104
00:04:47,182 --> 00:04:50,639
You're going to be offered
a big bundle of money...
105
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,051
- (Both gasp)
- ...which will lead to you
106
00:04:52,052 --> 00:04:54,119
having a big chubby bundle of joy
107
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,747
- wrapped in blue.
- (Both gasp)
108
00:04:55,748 --> 00:04:57,454
A bundle of money...
you're going to get a job!
109
00:04:57,455 --> 00:05:00,058
Yeah. And some guy at my new
job is going to knock me up.
110
00:05:01,047 --> 00:05:02,353
Wait. What?
111
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:06,153
Your instinct will be to say
no to this offer, but don't.
112
00:05:06,154 --> 00:05:07,354
Oh, she won't. Now me.
113
00:05:08,070 --> 00:05:11,582
I see that someone is
going to ask for your hand.
114
00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:13,722
- (Gasps)
- My hand? Like in marriage?
115
00:05:13,723 --> 00:05:14,923
It's unclear.
116
00:05:14,924 --> 00:05:17,924
But something about this
relationship is gonna be smoking hot.
117
00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:20,291
(Gasps) Wow. Who is it? Tell me!
118
00:05:20,292 --> 00:05:21,762
Can you tell me anything? Something?
119
00:05:21,763 --> 00:05:24,772
Well, his name starts with the letter "J."
120
00:05:24,773 --> 00:05:25,973
(Gasps)
121
00:05:26,423 --> 00:05:27,623
"J"?
122
00:05:29,063 --> 00:05:32,332
Whose name starts with the
letter "J"? "J"..."J"...
123
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,534
(Gasps)
124
00:05:33,535 --> 00:05:35,266
Is the second letter "O"?
Is the second letter "O"?!
125
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:37,037
Bitch, you can't buy a vowel.
126
00:05:38,036 --> 00:05:40,987
This isn't Wheel of Fortune.
Who do I look like, Vanna White?
127
00:05:48,888 --> 00:05:51,369
(Josh wheezing)
128
00:05:51,397 --> 00:05:52,710
Josh, are you okay?
129
00:05:53,867 --> 00:05:56,401
Last time I saw a man struggling
that hard to breathe...
130
00:05:56,436 --> 00:05:57,903
we had to switch positions.
131
00:06:02,506 --> 00:06:03,706
I'm okay.
132
00:06:04,343 --> 00:06:07,479
I just... walked up 27
flights of stairs. I'm okay.
133
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,652
But they fixed the elevator
after the earthquake.
134
00:06:10,653 --> 00:06:11,981
You ever heard of aftershocks?
135
00:06:12,951 --> 00:06:14,632
When I was a kid, there was an earthquake,
136
00:06:14,633 --> 00:06:16,767
I was trapped alone in
this elevator for two hours.
137
00:06:16,768 --> 00:06:18,769
To this day I shudder
whenever I hear light jazz.
138
00:06:19,076 --> 00:06:20,610
Yeah. Me, too.
139
00:06:21,538 --> 00:06:23,039
White people ruin everything.
140
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,623
Oh, damn it. I left my phone down there.
141
00:06:28,672 --> 00:06:31,720
Hey, Yolanda, would you mind...
142
00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,352
Ah! Newsflash!
143
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:36,373
Josh, a black woman going to a rich
white man's car, taking his phone...
144
00:06:37,938 --> 00:06:39,385
Never ends well.
145
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,932
Now, what I want you to do,
is I want you to go out there,
146
00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:46,021
get in that elevator
and show it who's boss.
147
00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:47,289
You're right. I'm being crazy.
148
00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:48,857
- Hell, yeah, you are!
- Josh Kaminski!
149
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:51,058
- Kick ass, Kaminski!
- I'm not scared of stuff!
150
00:06:51,092 --> 00:06:52,760
Damn straight, you're not.
151
00:06:55,041 --> 00:06:57,521
- (Scoffs) I can take it if I feel like it.
- (Elevator chimes)
152
00:06:58,606 --> 00:07:00,007
But I don't feel like it.
153
00:07:06,905 --> 00:07:09,089
I can't believe Josh is
going to propose to me.
154
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,914
God, what is he thinking? I mean,
we couldn't make dating work...
155
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,608
How are we supposed to make marriage work?
156
00:07:13,609 --> 00:07:15,577
He is out of his mind.
157
00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:17,668
Yeah, well least you're getting a ring...
158
00:07:17,669 --> 00:07:20,097
I'm going to be the unmarried
pregnant best friend.
159
00:07:20,168 --> 00:07:21,806
Ugh, I always thought that'd be you.
160
00:07:22,404 --> 00:07:24,272
I mean, I work for the man.
161
00:07:24,273 --> 00:07:27,008
He's putting me in a very awkward position.
162
00:07:27,063 --> 00:07:29,430
Oh, you want to talk
about awkward position?
163
00:07:29,431 --> 00:07:32,295
Try being in your third trimester
and looking for a date on Tinder.
164
00:07:32,296 --> 00:07:34,231
Okay. Well, we just have
to stick together, okay?
165
00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:37,002
You stay by my side and
don't let Josh propose to me.
166
00:07:37,014 --> 00:07:41,115
Okay. And you stay by my side and don't
let anyone put a baby in Lil' So-So.
167
00:07:44,911 --> 00:07:46,402
Hey, guys, what you doing?
168
00:07:46,706 --> 00:07:48,907
Gabi, I know this is unfamiliar to you...
169
00:07:48,908 --> 00:07:50,269
but it's called reading.
170
00:07:51,713 --> 00:07:53,314
It's a pamphlet on fertility.
171
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,781
After that dreadful earthquake...
172
00:07:54,816 --> 00:07:56,416
We realized life is short.
173
00:07:56,450 --> 00:07:58,651
So we started talking about life, and we...
174
00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:01,187
- decided to have a baby!
- (Gasps)
175
00:08:01,222 --> 00:08:03,189
Oh, you wanted to tell them? Go ahead.
176
00:08:03,987 --> 00:08:06,145
We decided to have a baby. Whatever...
177
00:08:06,146 --> 00:08:08,513
- Congratulations!
- Oh, guys, that's amazing!
178
00:08:08,514 --> 00:08:10,839
That's why we're so glad to see you.
179
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,702
Using an anonymous egg
donor is so impersonal.
180
00:08:13,703 --> 00:08:15,380
So we'd rather ask someone we know.
181
00:08:15,381 --> 00:08:17,473
Would you consider being
our egg donor, Sofia?
182
00:08:18,653 --> 00:08:20,140
Oh, do you want to ask her? Go ahead.
183
00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:23,777
Would you consider being... ah, forget it.
184
00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:26,741
Oh, my God!
185
00:08:26,742 --> 00:08:28,379
Wait, you want one of her eggs?
186
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,716
Oh, it's nothing personal, Gabalah.
187
00:08:30,717 --> 00:08:32,948
We just don't want to raise a demon spawn.
188
00:08:34,816 --> 00:08:37,114
We'd give you $20,000 for your egg
189
00:08:37,115 --> 00:08:39,621
and you'd help us get
a little bundle of joy.
190
00:08:40,260 --> 00:08:42,187
- Oh, my God, a bundle of joy!
- Oh, my God!
191
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,764
- A bundle of money!
- (Both) It's happening.
192
00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:47,914
- You don't have to say yes right now...
- Yes.
193
00:08:47,915 --> 00:08:50,670
I knew it. We started too high. I
told you she would've taken eight.
194
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:54,019
So you'll go with us tomorrow
195
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:55,950
to a fertility doctor to
see if you're a candidate?
196
00:08:55,951 --> 00:08:58,913
Well, a psychic told
me to say "yes," so yes!
197
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:01,888
Oy, a psychic! I thought
you said she was smart.
198
00:09:03,635 --> 00:09:06,039
Wait, your prediction came true.
199
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,689
Does that mean that Josh is about to...
200
00:09:07,690 --> 00:09:10,313
(wheezing)
201
00:09:10,314 --> 00:09:12,548
Gabi...! (wheezing)
202
00:09:12,549 --> 00:09:14,016
Gabi, will you...
203
00:09:14,017 --> 00:09:15,899
No, no, no, no! I'm too young.
204
00:09:17,529 --> 00:09:19,035
Please make me a smoothie.
205
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:22,232
Please make me a smoothie!
206
00:09:28,731 --> 00:09:30,632
I know this might seem
a little scary, Sofia...
207
00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,868
but Elliot and I are here
for you every step of the way.
208
00:09:32,902 --> 00:09:34,802
Anything you need, you let us know.
209
00:09:34,836 --> 00:09:36,036
Thanks, guys.
210
00:09:36,788 --> 00:09:38,723
Just think, our own little bundle of...
211
00:09:38,724 --> 00:09:39,924
crap!
212
00:09:42,340 --> 00:09:44,540
Look at all these posters.
213
00:09:44,541 --> 00:09:46,275
Oh, I can't!
214
00:09:46,276 --> 00:09:48,010
If I wasn't gay already...
215
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,106
I wouldn't know the first
thing to do with this.
216
00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,001
Yeah, neither do straight guys.
217
00:09:55,759 --> 00:09:57,517
Why is there a Sonicare in here?
218
00:09:57,518 --> 00:10:00,253
Oh! Ah, that's not a toothbrush.
That's an ultrasound wand.
219
00:10:00,254 --> 00:10:01,837
Yeah, the doctors use it
to look inside your, ah...
220
00:10:01,838 --> 00:10:05,222
Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis! Penis!
221
00:10:05,445 --> 00:10:08,912
Wow! It's all vagina all the time in here.
222
00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,573
Remember that stuff we said about us
223
00:10:12,574 --> 00:10:14,536
- being there... I'm going to go.
- Yeah, just go.
224
00:10:18,820 --> 00:10:20,154
Have a good meeting, Josh.
225
00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:21,455
Okay. See you.
226
00:10:21,489 --> 00:10:22,857
- All right.
- Bye!
227
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,384
Trying to take the stairs?
228
00:10:31,391 --> 00:10:33,641
Why are these stair doors
locked? It's a fire hazard.
229
00:10:33,642 --> 00:10:36,722
Because we are conquering your
fear right here and right now.
230
00:10:36,757 --> 00:10:37,957
No!
231
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,993
That is a bad idea.
232
00:10:40,314 --> 00:10:41,514
I don't wanna.
233
00:10:42,311 --> 00:10:45,426
Come on, Josh. Don't worry. I
did a little research online.
234
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:47,069
And they say if you want
to conquer your fear,
235
00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:50,103
all you have to do is associate it
with something that makes you happy.
236
00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:51,794
Like firing you?
237
00:10:53,124 --> 00:10:54,457
Or...
238
00:10:55,967 --> 00:10:57,847
Donuts!
239
00:10:58,422 --> 00:11:01,773
Start eating one of these as soon as
you get on the elevator. Like this.
240
00:11:05,328 --> 00:11:06,595
Damn, that's good.
241
00:11:08,485 --> 00:11:09,722
- Yolanda,
- Um...
242
00:11:09,723 --> 00:11:11,190
the elevator doors didn't even open.
243
00:11:11,284 --> 00:11:13,460
No. But my mouth did.
244
00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:15,588
(Elevator dings)
245
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:17,943
Josh!
246
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,378
Get in that elevator!
247
00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:21,126
Bye!
248
00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,836
Okay. I can do this.
249
00:11:27,890 --> 00:11:29,424
Yeah, okay, Josh.
250
00:11:29,425 --> 00:11:31,425
Honestly, I know what you're about to do
251
00:11:31,426 --> 00:11:33,539
and I am just not ready.
252
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:36,209
And I can see that you're
really nervous, too.
253
00:11:36,210 --> 00:11:38,879
It's going to be fine!
It's going to be fine!
254
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,655
Well, yeah, of course
it's going to be fine.
255
00:11:40,656 --> 00:11:42,422
I mean, you're smart and you're handsome...
256
00:11:42,423 --> 00:11:44,190
no, no, no, no. Don't do this, okay?
257
00:11:44,191 --> 00:11:45,491
Don't do thi... (Gasps)
258
00:11:45,779 --> 00:11:48,422
- It's a big one! It's a big one!
- What's happening?
259
00:11:48,423 --> 00:11:49,936
- Earthquake!
- (Screaming)
260
00:11:50,721 --> 00:11:53,189
Oh, God, Josh. I will marry you!
261
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:00,714
Elliot, it's over.
262
00:12:00,749 --> 00:12:02,042
You can let go now.
263
00:12:04,178 --> 00:12:05,912
But you're so strong...
264
00:12:05,947 --> 00:12:07,748
Like a Jewish Channing Tatum.
265
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,461
You just bought yourself five more seconds.
266
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:13,949
(Gasps)
267
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:15,150
God!
268
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,368
(Panting)
269
00:12:16,369 --> 00:12:17,639
Hello!
270
00:12:18,151 --> 00:12:20,642
Somebody! Somebody help!
271
00:12:21,221 --> 00:12:24,079
(Man) Sofia Maria Consuela
Rafaela Rodriguez?
272
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,310
That's me! Wait, who is that?
273
00:12:26,677 --> 00:12:27,877
Is that God?
274
00:12:30,105 --> 00:12:32,072
Close. It's Dr. Walker
275
00:12:32,073 --> 00:12:33,974
at the urine sample pass-through.
276
00:12:33,975 --> 00:12:35,608
- Oh!
- Are you okay?
277
00:12:35,609 --> 00:12:37,193
No! I can't get the door open.
278
00:12:37,194 --> 00:12:40,181
Okay, don't worry. I already called
for help. Everything's going to be fine.
279
00:12:40,182 --> 00:12:42,449
(Sighs) That's easy for you
to say. You're out there.
280
00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:46,443
That's true. If I was trapped
in there I'd be freaking out.
281
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,961
Can you just keep talking to me?
282
00:12:50,012 --> 00:12:51,774
I'm scared there's going
to be an aftershock.
283
00:12:51,775 --> 00:12:55,488
Okay. Um, what's your favorite ice cream?
284
00:12:55,489 --> 00:12:56,808
Oh! Uh...
285
00:12:56,957 --> 00:12:59,896
Rocky road, cookie dough, too young to die.
286
00:13:00,015 --> 00:13:02,280
That last one's not a
flavor, it's just how I feel.
287
00:13:03,047 --> 00:13:05,657
Oh, my God. I'm freaking out.
Can you just say something else?
288
00:13:05,658 --> 00:13:10,023
You have the prettiest eyes I've ever
seen through a urine pass-through.
289
00:13:10,378 --> 00:13:14,682
Aw. Well, my eyes are not what I thought
you'd be looking into when I got here.
290
00:13:17,176 --> 00:13:19,176
- (Electricity crackling)
- Are we stuck?
291
00:13:20,228 --> 00:13:21,763
Mm-hmm.
292
00:13:21,872 --> 00:13:23,072
What're we gonna do?
293
00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,410
Well, first I'm going to put you down.
294
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,549
'Kay.
295
00:13:30,686 --> 00:13:33,273
Then you're going to explain
why you said you'll marry me.
296
00:13:34,959 --> 00:13:36,159
'Kay.
297
00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:46,338
So...
298
00:13:46,883 --> 00:13:49,348
you know that thing where you think
somebody's going to propose to you...
299
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:51,156
but you're not ready,
so you're like, "no way!"
300
00:13:51,157 --> 00:13:54,008
And then you think you're going to
die, so you're like, "let's do this!"
301
00:13:55,620 --> 00:14:00,156
Gabi, what reason could you possibly have
to think I was going to propose to you?
302
00:14:01,561 --> 00:14:03,342
- A psychic told me.
- And there it is.
303
00:14:04,299 --> 00:14:06,674
Madame Paulette said, the guy whose
name started with the letter "J"
304
00:14:06,675 --> 00:14:09,836
was going to ask for my hand and that
our relationship would be "smoking hot"!
305
00:14:09,837 --> 00:14:11,037
Well, I mean...
306
00:14:12,275 --> 00:14:14,018
That does sound like me.
307
00:14:14,611 --> 00:14:18,063
All right, look. As reliable of
a source as madame Paulette is...
308
00:14:18,064 --> 00:14:21,344
I can assure you, Gabi, the last thing I'm
going to do right now is propose to you.
309
00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:23,919
Yeah. The "last thing" is a little harsh.
310
00:14:24,638 --> 00:14:26,523
Stupid psychic. It would've been nice
311
00:14:26,524 --> 00:14:28,873
if she was going to tell me we're
going to get stuck in an elevator.
312
00:14:28,874 --> 00:14:30,108
She sucks.
313
00:14:31,433 --> 00:14:32,766
We're good now?
314
00:14:32,888 --> 00:14:34,789
No! We're stuck in an elevator!
315
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:36,908
Okay, relax. Everything's going to be fine.
316
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:40,378
Take a deep breath. Breathe.
(Breathing deeply) See!
317
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,314
Lot's of oxygen in here.
318
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:45,449
Plenty of space to move
around if we want to.
319
00:14:46,009 --> 00:14:47,210
(Squeals)
320
00:14:48,392 --> 00:14:51,528
Or freeze exactly in place.
321
00:14:51,606 --> 00:14:53,274
(Light jazz playing)
322
00:14:53,275 --> 00:14:54,788
I gotta get the hell outta here!
323
00:14:54,789 --> 00:14:56,386
What are you doing?
Wait! What are you doing?
324
00:14:56,387 --> 00:14:58,885
I'm going to go climb up a floor and
open the elevator doors, and get you help!
325
00:14:58,886 --> 00:15:00,620
No, no, no! Please don't go.
326
00:15:00,621 --> 00:15:05,658
Gabi, I have to get out of here
before the sax solo kicks in.
327
00:15:10,983 --> 00:15:12,650
Can I tell you something?
328
00:15:12,684 --> 00:15:16,451
After the first earthquake, I
was thinking "life is short...
329
00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:17,986
Why wait to have a kid?"
330
00:15:17,987 --> 00:15:20,622
But now I'm thinking, "life is short...
331
00:15:20,623 --> 00:15:21,989
Why spend it with a kid?"
332
00:15:22,732 --> 00:15:23,932
Really?
333
00:15:23,933 --> 00:15:26,584
Because when I thought I was going to
die, I wasn't thinking about babies,
334
00:15:26,585 --> 00:15:28,218
I was thinking about you.
335
00:15:28,517 --> 00:15:30,482
We may not have that much time left,
336
00:15:30,483 --> 00:15:33,540
but I know I want to
spend it with only you.
337
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,641
And not here in vagina central.
338
00:15:37,232 --> 00:15:38,953
Aw, my little knish!
339
00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:41,334
Aw! My little sweet and sour dumpling.
340
00:15:41,886 --> 00:15:43,859
Ooh, all of a sudden I'm hungry.
341
00:15:44,198 --> 00:15:45,532
I could go for a nosh.
342
00:15:47,143 --> 00:15:48,873
Oh, what about Sofia?
343
00:15:49,002 --> 00:15:51,141
Oh, yeah! Sofia!
344
00:15:52,771 --> 00:15:55,372
Sofia, you want anything from the deli?
345
00:15:55,598 --> 00:15:57,259
I'm trapped in here!
346
00:15:57,301 --> 00:15:58,709
We'll take that as a no.
347
00:15:59,094 --> 00:16:01,138
We would've made such good parents.
348
00:16:01,139 --> 00:16:02,505
The best.
349
00:16:04,436 --> 00:16:07,653
It's nice of you to consider
donating an egg to help your friends.
350
00:16:07,986 --> 00:16:10,412
Yeah, well, I'm not exactly donating.
351
00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:11,698
I'm kinda doing it for the money.
352
00:16:11,699 --> 00:16:13,172
And 'cause a psychic told me to.
353
00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:16,299
Oh, a psychic. Well, then
for sure you should do this.
354
00:16:17,092 --> 00:16:18,292
You think?
355
00:16:18,293 --> 00:16:20,127
No! It's crazy!
356
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:21,698
Isn't it?
357
00:16:21,699 --> 00:16:25,095
I mean, at first I thought, "cha-ching,
easy money and it wouldn't even hurt,"
358
00:16:25,096 --> 00:16:26,411
and then it's like, "where'd my egg go?
359
00:16:26,412 --> 00:16:28,748
"What egg? Who cares? I have a
million more. I won't even miss it."
360
00:16:29,578 --> 00:16:33,547
But then, what if in 18 years I get a
knock on the door and it's some kid saying,
361
00:16:33,548 --> 00:16:37,583
"Mama," and then I'm like, "Federico
Jose Pablo Enrique Rodriguez...
362
00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:39,956
What are you doing here?"
363
00:16:41,382 --> 00:16:43,316
Can I give you some advice?
364
00:16:43,454 --> 00:16:46,215
What? Advice from an actual
professional? That'll be a welcome change.
365
00:16:47,052 --> 00:16:49,537
If you're not ready for this, don't do it.
366
00:16:49,538 --> 00:16:50,804
Follow your gut.
367
00:16:50,805 --> 00:16:53,301
My gut is telling me to say no...
368
00:16:53,355 --> 00:16:56,457
But my bank account is telling
me, "take the money, fool."
369
00:16:57,823 --> 00:16:59,991
Hey! I have a prediction for you.
370
00:17:00,077 --> 00:17:01,277
What?
371
00:17:01,278 --> 00:17:05,514
A single, young doctor is going
to ask you out for ice cream...
372
00:17:05,515 --> 00:17:08,790
If that's not too forward and
you're not lactose intolerant?
373
00:17:10,128 --> 00:17:12,855
Uh, I think I'd really like that.
374
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,975
(Thudding)
375
00:17:15,976 --> 00:17:17,544
My God! Oh, my God!
376
00:17:18,951 --> 00:17:20,786
(Gasps) I'm saved!
377
00:17:20,819 --> 00:17:22,921
Uh, I'll see you on the other side.
378
00:17:25,536 --> 00:17:28,243
No matter what occurs, I will find you!
379
00:17:29,247 --> 00:17:30,981
Thank you!
380
00:17:33,255 --> 00:17:34,756
Sofia?
381
00:17:34,790 --> 00:17:37,142
It's me, from the urine pass-through.
382
00:17:37,994 --> 00:17:40,853
- Oh, my God.
- What?
383
00:17:41,123 --> 00:17:43,223
The psychic was right.
384
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:44,506
It's not a baby at all.
385
00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:47,627
You're the chubby bundle
of joy wrapped in blue.
386
00:17:47,835 --> 00:17:50,102
(Scoffs) I've been called worse.
387
00:17:50,751 --> 00:17:52,808
But I get it if you changed your mind
388
00:17:52,809 --> 00:17:54,968
and don't want to go out for
ice cream. It's totally cool.
389
00:17:54,969 --> 00:17:56,998
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, I don't.
390
00:17:58,089 --> 00:18:01,557
Unless it's, uh, after a romantic dinner.
391
00:18:02,475 --> 00:18:04,699
Dinner and ice cream?
392
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,169
That's the perfect night.
I don't even need you to go!
393
00:18:12,789 --> 00:18:14,056
Gabi!
394
00:18:14,277 --> 00:18:16,195
Is this the right floor? I found a fireman.
395
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:18,164
Yes, yes, yes! This is the right floor.
396
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,928
Thank God, it's been forever!
397
00:18:20,252 --> 00:18:21,509
It's been eight minutes.
398
00:18:29,803 --> 00:18:32,304
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine. Just get me out of here.
399
00:18:32,349 --> 00:18:33,549
Give me your hand.
400
00:18:35,852 --> 00:18:37,052
I'm sorry, what did you say?
401
00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:39,383
Your hand. Give me your hand.
402
00:18:39,530 --> 00:18:42,040
You're asking me for my hand?
403
00:18:42,795 --> 00:18:44,396
Yeah, so I can pull you out of there.
404
00:18:46,095 --> 00:18:47,617
What's your name?
405
00:18:48,449 --> 00:18:50,464
- Lieutenant Reynolds.
- First name. First name.
406
00:18:51,099 --> 00:18:52,695
- Jason.
- Jason!
407
00:18:53,455 --> 00:18:54,722
With a "J"?
408
00:18:57,654 --> 00:18:59,143
Ma'am, did you hit your head in there?
409
00:18:59,144 --> 00:19:02,733
No, no! I'm fine. Oh, my
God, the psychic was right!
410
00:19:02,734 --> 00:19:04,869
A "J" did ask for my hand.
411
00:19:04,950 --> 00:19:06,717
And she was right about smoking hot!
412
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,033
Thank you.
413
00:19:08,034 --> 00:19:10,650
Well, I meant 'cause you're
a fireman, but hi, I'm Gabi.
414
00:19:11,766 --> 00:19:13,761
Well, I have to see about the
people in the other floors...
415
00:19:13,762 --> 00:19:15,048
but I can check on you later if you want.
416
00:19:15,049 --> 00:19:16,324
Yeah, I want. Ah...
417
00:19:16,325 --> 00:19:18,460
I, ah, work in the
penthouse. Swing by anytime.
418
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:20,171
All right. Well, I'll see you guys later.
419
00:19:20,172 --> 00:19:21,806
(Laughing loudly) Looking forward to it.
420
00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:26,194
He is so brave.
421
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,569
I shimmied out of the elevator...
422
00:19:28,570 --> 00:19:29,803
climbed up the cable...
423
00:19:29,804 --> 00:19:31,858
pried the doors open above
us with my bare hands...
424
00:19:31,859 --> 00:19:33,260
and I found you help, but yeah...
425
00:19:33,261 --> 00:19:34,528
he's superman.
426
00:19:36,279 --> 00:19:37,479
(Woman screams)
427
00:19:37,753 --> 00:19:39,647
And this is not our floor...
428
00:19:45,363 --> 00:19:47,399
Oh, look, Madame Paulette,
429
00:19:47,463 --> 00:19:50,116
I usually talk to my girl
Scarlet over on Liberty Street...
430
00:19:50,492 --> 00:19:53,888
But both my friends said they
met guys after seeing you.
431
00:19:54,242 --> 00:19:56,577
So I'm hoping you got (whispers) the touch.
432
00:19:57,791 --> 00:20:00,107
I'm sorry, I'm not
picking up any vibrations.
433
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,388
Well, maybe you would if you put
down that super tiny fork with the...
434
00:20:04,389 --> 00:20:06,023
ooh, what kind of bread is that?
435
00:20:06,130 --> 00:20:08,064
Uh-uh! This ain't no buffet, bitch.
436
00:20:08,216 --> 00:20:11,085
Well, then tell me my fortune, bitch.
437
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,522
Ah! See, now I'm getting something.
438
00:20:17,667 --> 00:20:19,333
Ah!
439
00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:22,963
You have already met the man you're
going to spend your life with.
440
00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:25,794
Ooh, I have? (Giggling)
What does he look like?
441
00:20:26,145 --> 00:20:27,645
He's the exotic type.
442
00:20:27,668 --> 00:20:29,900
Ooh! I love exotic!
443
00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:33,119
I see him in a suit and tie.
444
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,787
Oh, he fancy!
445
00:20:36,687 --> 00:20:37,935
Tell me more.
446
00:20:37,988 --> 00:20:40,354
He wears a bow tie...
447
00:20:41,024 --> 00:20:43,460
And his name starts with an "E."
448
00:20:43,461 --> 00:20:45,184
Oh, hell no!
449
00:20:45,185 --> 00:20:50,112
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
450
00:20:50,162 --> 00:20:54,712
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33934
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
