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1
00:00:06,993 --> 00:00:08,381
- That's my favorite.
- I like it too.
2
00:00:09,762 --> 00:00:11,228
The cue cards are working. Awesome.
3
00:00:11,230 --> 00:00:12,396
Yes, they are. Yes.
4
00:00:12,398 --> 00:00:13,964
I have a feeling that these Whoopsies
5
00:00:13,966 --> 00:00:15,999
are going to be the
best we've ever done.
6
00:00:16,001 --> 00:00:18,035
I mean, there's nothing
like watching videos
7
00:00:18,037 --> 00:00:20,137
of your coworkers eating
[bleep] and getting hurt.
8
00:00:20,139 --> 00:00:21,605
- It's just classic.
- It's the best.
9
00:00:21,607 --> 00:00:22,673
- Yeah.
- Oh!
10
00:00:22,675 --> 00:00:23,740
- Oh!
- Are you all right?
11
00:00:23,742 --> 00:00:26,343
Whoopsie. [laughter]
12
00:00:26,345 --> 00:00:27,911
Yo, Tez, dude.
13
00:00:27,913 --> 00:00:29,646
Deadline for Whoopsie
submission is 5:00.
14
00:00:29,648 --> 00:00:30,814
Please, fool.
15
00:00:30,816 --> 00:00:32,483
Got a hidden camera in our cubicle.
16
00:00:32,485 --> 00:00:34,785
See, Colleen gave me some
extra birthday cake.
17
00:00:34,787 --> 00:00:36,453
Took a couple of bites, threw it away.
18
00:00:36,455 --> 00:00:39,456
I bet you Bill pulls
it out and eats it,
19
00:00:39,458 --> 00:00:41,625
even though I cut my
toenails over the trash can.
20
00:00:41,627 --> 00:00:43,327
- No.
- What?
21
00:00:43,329 --> 00:00:45,195
- And he saw you?
- Yeah, he saw me do it!
22
00:00:45,197 --> 00:00:47,030
That is disgu... Why are
you doing that at work?
23
00:00:47,032 --> 00:00:48,999
- You're disgusting.
- I am not disgusting.
24
00:00:49,001 --> 00:00:50,000
I have a hammertoe.
25
00:00:50,002 --> 00:00:51,802
So stop! Hammertoe.
26
00:00:51,804 --> 00:00:53,670
Unh! Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah
27
00:00:53,672 --> 00:00:54,872
Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, Hammertoe
28
00:00:54,874 --> 00:00:55,973
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, you guys.
29
00:00:55,975 --> 00:00:57,241
He's totally doing it.
30
00:00:57,243 --> 00:00:58,442
He's totally doing it. He's doing it.
31
00:00:58,444 --> 00:00:59,610
- He's doing it right now.
- See?
32
00:00:59,612 --> 00:01:00,811
- Mmm.
- See?
33
00:01:00,813 --> 00:01:03,680
- Oh, my God.
- Mmm. Mmm.
34
00:01:03,682 --> 00:01:05,782
Mmm. Mmm.
35
00:01:05,784 --> 00:01:07,017
Oh, that's the big nail.
36
00:01:07,019 --> 00:01:08,952
- That's the big nail.
- Ugh!
37
00:01:08,954 --> 00:01:10,053
Mmm. Mmm.
38
00:01:10,055 --> 00:01:12,155
- Oh, my God.
- Mmm. Mmm.
39
00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:14,458
Whoopsies!
40
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:15,626
[laughter]
41
00:01:15,628 --> 00:01:16,793
Totally, totally.
42
00:01:16,795 --> 00:01:19,830
[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]
43
00:01:19,832 --> 00:01:22,864
Synced and corrected by MasterCookie
- www.addic7ed.com -
44
00:01:23,502 --> 00:01:25,469
You gotta, you gotta, you gotta
45
00:01:25,471 --> 00:01:28,839
Gotta be fresh
46
00:01:28,841 --> 00:01:30,240
- [imitating blows landing]
- [Blake chuckles]
47
00:01:30,242 --> 00:01:31,408
- Hey.
- What?
48
00:01:31,410 --> 00:01:32,809
Did you get these lights
for the Whoopsies?
49
00:01:32,811 --> 00:01:33,810
No, I thought you got 'em.
50
00:01:33,812 --> 00:01:34,845
No, I didn't.
51
00:01:34,847 --> 00:01:35,979
They look really nice, though.
52
00:01:35,981 --> 00:01:37,347
They look like they're from Party city.
53
00:01:37,349 --> 00:01:38,382
[clears throat]
54
00:01:38,384 --> 00:01:40,217
Well, apparently we had
55
00:01:40,219 --> 00:01:42,052
the all-time lowest sales numbers
56
00:01:42,054 --> 00:01:44,588
in TAC history last month.
57
00:01:44,590 --> 00:01:45,889
Whoopsies!
58
00:01:45,891 --> 00:01:47,024
[laughter]
59
00:01:47,026 --> 00:01:48,325
Yeah, exactly.
60
00:01:48,327 --> 00:01:50,527
So Corporate has decided to bring in...
61
00:01:50,529 --> 00:01:51,929
"best-selling author
62
00:01:51,931 --> 00:01:54,031
"and world-renowned
motivational speaker
63
00:01:54,033 --> 00:01:55,566
Bianca Toro."
64
00:01:55,568 --> 00:01:57,768
So give it up... or
don't; I don't care...
65
00:01:57,770 --> 00:01:59,269
for Bianca.
66
00:01:59,271 --> 00:02:01,371
[light applause]
67
00:02:01,373 --> 00:02:03,874
- [whistling]
- Bianca?
68
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:05,576
Oh, great, perfect.
She's on the crapper.
69
00:02:05,578 --> 00:02:06,743
[both blow raspberry]
70
00:02:06,745 --> 00:02:07,878
[laughs]
71
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,246
[driving dance music playing]
72
00:02:09,248 --> 00:02:12,215
Everything is about
to change in three...
73
00:02:12,217 --> 00:02:13,550
- It's gas!
- What's your problem?
74
00:02:13,552 --> 00:02:14,685
Two, one!
75
00:02:14,687 --> 00:02:16,420
Whoo!
76
00:02:16,422 --> 00:02:17,588
Yeah!
77
00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:18,722
All right!
78
00:02:18,724 --> 00:02:21,191
Everybody get the [bleep] up!
79
00:02:21,193 --> 00:02:23,126
Get the [bleep] up, yes!
80
00:02:23,128 --> 00:02:24,394
Yes, go ahead.
81
00:02:24,396 --> 00:02:25,762
Hug your neighbor, huh?
82
00:02:25,764 --> 00:02:27,097
Come on, hug it out.
83
00:02:27,099 --> 00:02:29,099
Show them how much they mean to you.
84
00:02:29,101 --> 00:02:30,734
You two, hug it out!
85
00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:32,769
Yeah! That's it.
86
00:02:32,771 --> 00:02:34,237
She's like a motivational stripper.
87
00:02:34,239 --> 00:02:35,505
Yeah, uh-huh. Excuse me!
88
00:02:35,507 --> 00:02:37,307
Sorry to interrupt. How
long is this gonna take?
89
00:02:37,309 --> 00:02:39,409
It's just we have a pretty
intense technical rehearsal
90
00:02:39,411 --> 00:02:40,978
we need to run for an
awards show later.
91
00:02:40,980 --> 00:02:43,113
- [music stops]
- Oh. You know what?
92
00:02:43,115 --> 00:02:45,482
How long this takes, that is up to you.
93
00:02:45,484 --> 00:02:47,117
- Great. Let's wrap it up.
- Yeah.
94
00:02:47,119 --> 00:02:49,286
I don't give a [bleep]
about telemarketing.
95
00:02:49,288 --> 00:02:51,722
I don't care about your sales numbers.
96
00:02:51,724 --> 00:02:54,291
I don't give a [bleep] about Corporate.
97
00:02:54,293 --> 00:02:57,961
I am here for you...
98
00:02:57,963 --> 00:03:00,230
and you and you
99
00:03:00,232 --> 00:03:01,231
and you and you.
100
00:03:01,233 --> 00:03:02,966
Not here for me, probably.
101
00:03:02,968 --> 00:03:04,401
I care about you.
102
00:03:04,403 --> 00:03:05,669
Your hands smell like Cinnabon.
103
00:03:05,671 --> 00:03:07,571
Yeah, they do.
104
00:03:07,573 --> 00:03:08,805
All right, sit it.
105
00:03:08,807 --> 00:03:10,507
Sst, sst.
106
00:03:10,509 --> 00:03:11,575
I'm sitting 'cause I want to,
107
00:03:11,577 --> 00:03:14,077
not 'cause she told me.
108
00:03:14,079 --> 00:03:17,180
Who here thinks this is
a bunch of bull[bleep]?
109
00:03:17,182 --> 00:03:19,116
I think it's a ton of bull[bleep].
110
00:03:19,118 --> 00:03:20,817
Get 'em, girl!
111
00:03:20,819 --> 00:03:22,285
Drop it on 'em, A-Bomb.
112
00:03:22,287 --> 00:03:24,021
Hey, come here.
113
00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:25,422
I barely bite.
114
00:03:25,424 --> 00:03:26,590
[sighs]
115
00:03:26,592 --> 00:03:28,425
All right.
116
00:03:28,427 --> 00:03:30,994
I'm gonna ask you a question.
117
00:03:30,996 --> 00:03:32,496
And then you tell me the truth,
118
00:03:32,498 --> 00:03:34,031
and I swear, I will walk out this door.
119
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:35,532
You will never see me again. No!
120
00:03:35,534 --> 00:03:37,200
- Deal?
- Deal.
121
00:03:37,202 --> 00:03:39,269
Okay.
122
00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:41,438
Who's the author of your life?
123
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,739
Oh, Jesus Christ.
124
00:03:42,741 --> 00:03:44,041
- Hmm.
- No, no.
125
00:03:44,043 --> 00:03:45,175
I'm not religious.
126
00:03:45,177 --> 00:03:47,978
I'm the author of my life.
127
00:03:47,980 --> 00:03:51,214
That's a lie, and you [bleep] know it!
128
00:03:51,216 --> 00:03:52,683
Okay, she says a lot of F words.
129
00:03:52,685 --> 00:03:53,984
Who shapes your narrative, huh?
130
00:03:53,986 --> 00:03:55,686
Who steers your ship?
131
00:03:55,688 --> 00:03:56,687
Captain Phillips.
132
00:03:56,689 --> 00:03:58,722
Who is that?
133
00:03:58,724 --> 00:04:01,291
My... my mom drank.
134
00:04:01,293 --> 00:04:02,359
- Boom.
- A lot.
135
00:04:02,361 --> 00:04:04,327
- Ah.
- She put me through hell.
136
00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:06,563
"Bad Moms." That's a good movie.
137
00:04:06,565 --> 00:04:09,032
Women are funny, no
matter what Ders says.
138
00:04:09,034 --> 00:04:12,469
"Ghostbusters" the new one
is the "Ghostbusters" to me.
139
00:04:12,471 --> 00:04:13,437
You know what?
140
00:04:13,439 --> 00:04:16,306
Your mom is a lot like my dad.
141
00:04:16,308 --> 00:04:17,874
[crying] Really?
142
00:04:17,876 --> 00:04:19,743
Yeah. Yeah.
143
00:04:19,745 --> 00:04:22,079
But I thank him every day,
144
00:04:22,081 --> 00:04:25,215
because he make me the
emotional [bleep] warrior
145
00:04:25,217 --> 00:04:27,784
that you see in front of you today.
146
00:04:27,786 --> 00:04:30,353
I'm the author of my own life.
147
00:04:30,355 --> 00:04:32,522
I choose happiness.
148
00:04:32,524 --> 00:04:34,224
I choose kindness.
149
00:04:34,226 --> 00:04:37,094
I choose positivity.
150
00:04:37,096 --> 00:04:38,328
[laughs]
151
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:39,663
I choose... Say it, now.
152
00:04:39,665 --> 00:04:40,697
"I choose."
153
00:04:40,699 --> 00:04:41,865
I choose.
154
00:04:41,867 --> 00:04:43,600
Okay, who? Who?
155
00:04:43,602 --> 00:04:44,601
I choose.
156
00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:45,936
All right. Who chooses?
157
00:04:45,938 --> 00:04:46,937
I choose!
158
00:04:46,939 --> 00:04:48,004
I choose.
159
00:04:48,006 --> 00:04:49,873
I choose. Who chooses?
160
00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:51,241
All: I choose!
161
00:04:51,243 --> 00:04:53,343
- Say it. Who?
- all: I choose!
162
00:04:53,345 --> 00:04:54,411
Yes! Yes.
163
00:04:54,413 --> 00:04:56,546
Give her a [bleep] hand!
164
00:04:56,548 --> 00:04:58,749
Oh, come on, give her a hug!
165
00:04:58,751 --> 00:05:01,251
Lift her up where she belongs!
166
00:05:01,253 --> 00:05:03,286
Hoist that bitch up!
167
00:05:03,288 --> 00:05:04,454
Wha!
168
00:05:04,456 --> 00:05:05,689
Yeah!
169
00:05:05,691 --> 00:05:07,791
I feel so free!
170
00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:10,260
Right, okay, let's save some
energy for the Whoopsies.
171
00:05:10,262 --> 00:05:11,695
Oh, guys, let her down.
172
00:05:11,697 --> 00:05:14,798
Oh, yeah, the... the Whoopsies.
173
00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,700
No, I-I-I don't think we need
174
00:05:16,702 --> 00:05:19,202
that kind of negativity in
the office, right, Bianca?
175
00:05:19,204 --> 00:05:21,705
You are in control of your own life.
176
00:05:21,707 --> 00:05:23,006
Shut up. What?
177
00:05:23,008 --> 00:05:25,308
Yeah, I choose that the
Whoopsies are canceled!
178
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:28,378
But, Alice, your red carpet
gown, it's gorgeous.
179
00:05:28,380 --> 00:05:29,880
[whispering] Can I talk
into your microphone?
180
00:05:29,882 --> 00:05:31,715
[whispering] You just did.
181
00:05:31,717 --> 00:05:32,783
[sniffs]
182
00:05:32,785 --> 00:05:34,751
[hip-hop music]
183
00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:35,685
We came here
184
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:43,050
All right, everybody, follow me.
185
00:05:43,052 --> 00:05:45,752
We are gonna do group work.
186
00:05:45,754 --> 00:05:47,387
- Adam.
- What's up?
187
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,089
- Just wait. One thing.
- What up?
188
00:05:49,091 --> 00:05:50,924
- Have fun. All right, cool.
- All right, thank you so much.
189
00:05:50,926 --> 00:05:52,859
- Great job, honestly.
- Great lights, great lights.
190
00:05:52,861 --> 00:05:54,828
- So what's the plan?
- For what?
191
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:56,897
- The Whoopsies must go on.
- Oh, no, I know.
192
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:58,498
I hope you're not talking to me.
I know.
193
00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,268
I put $30 down on the tux rental...
nonrefundable.
194
00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:03,570
All right, so we just got
to, like, deprogram Alice,
195
00:06:03,572 --> 00:06:05,405
remind her how much she
loves the Whoopsies.
196
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,575
Except that I'm choosing not to do that
197
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:11,078
because I'm choosing
to be my own person
198
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:13,547
and pattern my life after Bianca Toro.
199
00:06:13,549 --> 00:06:14,948
- What are you talking about?
- Later, bitches.
200
00:06:14,950 --> 00:06:16,349
- Are you se...
- We've lost him.
201
00:06:16,351 --> 00:06:20,987
Who here is ready to see the
world in a whole new way?
202
00:06:20,989 --> 00:06:22,856
I am! I am so ready.
203
00:06:22,858 --> 00:06:23,890
I'm also ready.
204
00:06:23,892 --> 00:06:25,559
Okay. Open up your eyes.
205
00:06:27,396 --> 00:06:29,262
Why is he over there with you?
206
00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:31,131
Shut the [bleep] up, Babak, okay?
207
00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:36,103
I am here because if you
would truly open your eyes,
208
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:37,204
you would [bleep] see
209
00:06:37,206 --> 00:06:39,606
that I'm the co-[bleep]-motivator.
210
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:40,807
Can somebody fix me?
211
00:06:40,809 --> 00:06:43,744
My mind is a tormented battlefield.
212
00:06:43,746 --> 00:06:45,312
We're gonna get you there, my friend.
213
00:06:45,314 --> 00:06:47,114
Yes, we are. We're
working on you, Bill.
214
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,316
Adam, I love your spirit.
215
00:06:49,318 --> 00:06:50,784
Why don't you go ahead
and take that spirit
216
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:52,252
and join the rest of your group?
217
00:06:52,254 --> 00:06:55,589
- Okay.
- Okay.
218
00:06:55,591 --> 00:06:59,126
Okay, the name of the
game is musical chairs.
219
00:06:59,128 --> 00:07:00,494
Kid stuff, right?
220
00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:01,495
- Yup.
- Yeah.
221
00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:02,729
- Wrong!
- Wrong. It is wrong.
222
00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:03,830
M?sica, Jose.
223
00:07:03,832 --> 00:07:04,998
[heavy metal music playing]
224
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,566
Let the bodies hit the floor
225
00:07:06,568 --> 00:07:08,335
Let the bodies hit the floor
226
00:07:08,337 --> 00:07:09,903
Let the bodies hit the
227
00:07:09,905 --> 00:07:12,105
Rah!
228
00:07:12,107 --> 00:07:13,840
Let the bodies hit the
229
00:07:13,842 --> 00:07:15,142
[music stops] Ah! Oh, my gosh.
230
00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:17,244
[laughing] Oh, my gosh.
231
00:07:17,246 --> 00:07:19,412
What happened here?
232
00:07:19,414 --> 00:07:21,915
- Everyone got a chair?
- Yes!
233
00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:22,983
- Yeah.
- I'm glad you found that.
234
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,317
Now, there were enough chairs,
235
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,619
but instead of saying,
236
00:07:25,621 --> 00:07:30,290
"Hey, how do we go after
this as a group, hmm?"
237
00:07:30,292 --> 00:07:32,526
y'all went, "Me, me, me, me, me!"
238
00:07:32,528 --> 00:07:33,994
Yeah, like a bunch of bitches.
239
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,328
The lesson here
240
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,197
is that when we face our problems,
241
00:07:37,199 --> 00:07:38,832
we do it as a team.
242
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:42,769
We're stronger whenever
the flock flies together.
243
00:07:42,771 --> 00:07:43,837
Let's hear it.
244
00:07:43,839 --> 00:07:45,672
All: We're stronger whenever
245
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:48,141
the flock flies together.
246
00:07:48,143 --> 00:07:49,142
Let's hear it!
247
00:07:49,144 --> 00:07:50,377
All: We're stronger whenever
248
00:07:50,379 --> 00:07:52,512
the flock flies together.
249
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,147
And back to me.
250
00:07:54,149 --> 00:07:56,783
I'm flying in with...
251
00:07:56,785 --> 00:07:59,586
another thought as a co-motivator.
252
00:07:59,588 --> 00:08:01,121
Okay, think about it.
253
00:08:01,123 --> 00:08:03,723
Sometimes, every once
in a while, perhaps,
254
00:08:03,725 --> 00:08:05,125
a chair might break
255
00:08:05,127 --> 00:08:06,793
and there's not enough
chairs for everyone.
256
00:08:06,795 --> 00:08:08,662
What do you do?
257
00:08:08,664 --> 00:08:10,630
Hit the music.
258
00:08:10,632 --> 00:08:11,898
I will not hit the music.
259
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:12,899
There's no music.
260
00:08:12,901 --> 00:08:14,801
Chair, this one, broken.
261
00:08:19,241 --> 00:08:20,907
Oh, I landed on my nut.
262
00:08:21,977 --> 00:08:23,910
Ah, I Belvedered my balls.
263
00:08:23,912 --> 00:08:24,978
That hurts.
264
00:08:24,980 --> 00:08:26,880
- I'm not gonna puke.
- No.
265
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,148
- No!
- Ah, be strong.
266
00:08:28,150 --> 00:08:30,016
- No, no. Really?
- Be strong.
267
00:08:30,018 --> 00:08:31,518
Okay, you know what, Adam?
268
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:32,886
Let's you and I,
269
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,722
let's have a 20-second
powwow over here, okay?
270
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,757
Now, I want to take you
to the next level, okay?
271
00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:38,959
Yup, level me up.
272
00:08:38,961 --> 00:08:41,061
I want to tell you
about something called
273
00:08:41,063 --> 00:08:42,429
The Clarity.
274
00:08:42,431 --> 00:08:44,397
Now, this is the secret to everything.
275
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,032
Sounds cool. Sounds sick. Tight.
276
00:08:46,034 --> 00:08:47,200
It's all those things.
277
00:08:47,202 --> 00:08:49,903
But first, I'd like you
to take Bill outside,
278
00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:52,239
have a one-on-one session with him.
279
00:08:52,241 --> 00:08:53,240
- Can you do that?
- Fight him?
280
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,407
No, no fighting.
281
00:08:54,409 --> 00:08:56,743
Just see if you can't
get to his raw truth.
282
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,411
Sounds like something that
I'd be interested in.
283
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:02,415
You do that, and I'll
bestow on you The Clarity.
284
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,783
Deal? Yes! Deal.
285
00:09:03,785 --> 00:09:04,784
All right.
286
00:09:04,786 --> 00:09:06,786
My computer's on fire?
287
00:09:06,788 --> 00:09:09,356
No, but our pants are because we lied.
288
00:09:09,358 --> 00:09:10,423
"Sowwy."
289
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,791
Look, I know you guys are upset
290
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:13,593
because I canceled the Whoopsies,
291
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,195
but listen to this... [clears throat]
292
00:09:15,197 --> 00:09:17,764
"Sometimes the things
that upset us the most
293
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,100
are the things that teach us the most."
294
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,135
Alice, hey. Hey. What is happening?
295
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:25,939
We just lied to you, our boss,
and lured you into your office.
296
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,407
You should be calling us dildos
297
00:09:27,409 --> 00:09:29,476
and telling us to... suck our [bleep]
298
00:09:29,478 --> 00:09:31,144
Off our own butts or something.
299
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:32,445
That was the old me.
300
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,981
Alice, that was the real you.
301
00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:36,416
- Yeah.
- Okay?
302
00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:38,118
You can't just change who you are.
303
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,387
Yes, I can, because it
says so on page seven...
304
00:09:40,389 --> 00:09:41,688
Okay, you know what?
305
00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:44,891
Now there is no page seven,
so you can't change.
306
00:09:44,893 --> 00:09:46,726
Yums away.
307
00:09:46,728 --> 00:09:48,795
[gags] Are you all right?
308
00:09:48,797 --> 00:09:50,297
Paper cut, roof of mouth.
309
00:09:50,299 --> 00:09:51,998
Does that make you mad?
Does that piss you off?
310
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:52,999
- Mad now?
- Huh?
311
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:54,367
Look at how [bleep] pissed you are!
312
00:09:54,369 --> 00:09:56,169
- Let's see it!
- Give us the Alice we want!
313
00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:57,270
Call me a dildo.
314
00:09:57,272 --> 00:09:58,338
Call him a dildo.
315
00:09:58,340 --> 00:09:59,973
[breathes deeply]
316
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:04,144
No, I know that you're
mad, and I get why.
317
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,246
- Oh, yeah?
- Hmm.
318
00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:09,816
Oh!
319
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:11,918
Whoopsies.
320
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,320
[whispering] It broke.
321
00:10:13,322 --> 00:10:14,487
It's all broked.
322
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,588
[dramatic music]
323
00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:17,557
You can't make me mad.
324
00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:18,959
I am the author.
325
00:10:18,961 --> 00:10:20,760
Oh, yeah?
326
00:10:20,762 --> 00:10:22,362
Well, let's just see about that.
327
00:10:22,364 --> 00:10:23,396
What do we got here?
328
00:10:23,398 --> 00:10:25,332
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
329
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:28,268
[gasps] A Jose Canseco bat.
330
00:10:28,270 --> 00:10:30,837
Tell me you didn't pay money for this.
331
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:31,938
Are you serious?
332
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:33,206
- Wah!
- Ders!
333
00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:34,441
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
334
00:10:34,443 --> 00:10:36,943
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
335
00:10:36,945 --> 00:10:39,546
Oh, yeah?
336
00:10:39,548 --> 00:10:41,681
- [laughs]
- Whoopsies!
337
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,049
[both laughing]
338
00:10:43,051 --> 00:10:44,684
- Now she's mad.
- Now you're mad?
339
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:46,453
Are you mad now? Huh?
340
00:10:46,455 --> 00:10:48,054
Whoopsies!
341
00:10:48,056 --> 00:10:49,389
Whoopsies!
342
00:10:49,391 --> 00:10:50,824
Whoopsies!
343
00:10:50,826 --> 00:10:55,128
Whoopsies! Whoopsies! Whoopsies!
Whoopsies!
344
00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:56,663
- Yeah.
- Whoopsies!
345
00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:58,231
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh!
346
00:10:58,233 --> 00:11:00,133
Okay, that's a religious thing.
347
00:11:00,135 --> 00:11:01,301
We're gonna leave that there.
348
00:11:01,303 --> 00:11:04,170
[grunting violently]
349
00:11:04,172 --> 00:11:05,372
Boom!
350
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:06,740
- Whoopsies.
- Oh!
351
00:11:06,742 --> 00:11:09,476
What about this nice
little crystal trophy?
352
00:11:09,478 --> 00:11:11,578
How about we say later to that, huh?
353
00:11:11,580 --> 00:11:12,746
No, wait! Stop.
354
00:11:12,748 --> 00:11:13,713
Give me that.
355
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,148
Uh-oh.
356
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:16,983
Okay, so now what? Now what?
357
00:11:16,985 --> 00:11:18,785
You gonna... you gonna, like, tell us,
358
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:20,153
"Go home now, no pay"?
359
00:11:20,155 --> 00:11:22,222
Yeah, "Shove it up your man holes."
360
00:11:22,224 --> 00:11:23,690
You guys are right.
361
00:11:23,692 --> 00:11:25,358
[laughs softly]
362
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:26,826
This place is a prison.
363
00:11:26,828 --> 00:11:28,028
Yeah.
364
00:11:28,030 --> 00:11:29,896
It's a prison I built.
365
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,464
[laughs]
366
00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:34,501
And it's a prison I'm gonna destroy!
367
00:11:34,503 --> 00:11:36,369
- Oh!
- Whoa, whoa! Hey!
368
00:11:36,371 --> 00:11:37,937
- Oh, my God.
- [laughing]
369
00:11:37,939 --> 00:11:40,140
What... what are you doing? You crazy?
370
00:11:40,142 --> 00:11:41,574
I'm freeing us!
371
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:44,010
- No! Hey, no!
- [laughs maniacally]
372
00:11:44,012 --> 00:11:45,645
You know what?
373
00:11:45,647 --> 00:11:47,614
I'm gonna tell Corporate...
374
00:11:47,616 --> 00:11:48,615
- Oh!
- Ah!
375
00:11:48,617 --> 00:11:49,716
That we want to shut it down.
376
00:11:49,718 --> 00:11:50,717
Why would you do that?
377
00:11:50,719 --> 00:11:51,851
And you know what?
378
00:11:51,853 --> 00:11:53,253
They will.
379
00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:55,288
Because they've wanted to
do it all along anyway.
380
00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:57,057
We just want the [bleep] Whoopsies.
381
00:11:57,059 --> 00:11:58,391
Don't you see?
382
00:11:58,393 --> 00:11:59,926
We got to follow our passions.
383
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,028
We have to choose our paths.
384
00:12:02,030 --> 00:12:03,063
- No, no, no.
- I don't...
385
00:12:03,065 --> 00:12:05,031
No one chooses this.
386
00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:08,935
- Hey.
- Thank you.
387
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,637
Thank you guys for
showing me the light.
388
00:12:10,639 --> 00:12:13,139
- Wh...
- But...
389
00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:14,941
We're free!
390
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:18,111
Are you ready to be a [bleep] author
391
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:20,613
and change your life forever?
392
00:12:20,615 --> 00:12:23,316
Can we talk about my
relationship with my stepsister?
393
00:12:23,318 --> 00:12:25,385
I feel like it might
not be appropriate.
394
00:12:25,387 --> 00:12:26,386
Bill, shut up.
395
00:12:26,388 --> 00:12:27,620
When I look at you,
396
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:30,723
I see untapped potential.
397
00:12:30,725 --> 00:12:32,692
But you know what else I see, Bill?
398
00:12:32,694 --> 00:12:35,095
I see fear.
399
00:12:35,097 --> 00:12:37,964
And it's time for you to take that fear
400
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:42,569
and light it on [bleep] fire, Bill!
401
00:12:42,571 --> 00:12:44,771
So we're glossing over the
whole stepsister thing?
402
00:12:44,773 --> 00:12:46,172
Bill, take off your shoes and socks.
403
00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:47,507
What are we doing? Is it safe?
404
00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:48,675
[flame whooshes] Oh! Oh!
405
00:12:48,677 --> 00:12:51,010
I just started your [bleep]
fear on fire, Bill.
406
00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:52,412
Now...
407
00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:56,683
Okay, Bill.
408
00:12:56,685 --> 00:12:59,085
Just don't even think
about it, all right?
409
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:00,620
Just go ahead and do it.
410
00:13:00,622 --> 00:13:01,855
Walk across...
411
00:13:01,857 --> 00:13:03,590
Whoa, you're doing it.
412
00:13:03,592 --> 00:13:05,992
Oh! I'm doing it!
413
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,293
I'm doing it!
414
00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:08,361
Oh, yes!
415
00:13:08,363 --> 00:13:10,763
Oh, my, I'm a [bleep] motivator.
416
00:13:10,765 --> 00:13:13,199
I'm gonna try to have
sex with my stepsister!
417
00:13:13,201 --> 00:13:15,034
Clarity! I'm gonna see that [bleep]!
418
00:13:15,036 --> 00:13:16,469
Thank you, Adam.
419
00:13:16,471 --> 00:13:18,638
You're right. I can do anything.
420
00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:21,474
You're right.
421
00:13:21,476 --> 00:13:23,510
I can do anything.
422
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:26,045
[screaming]
423
00:13:26,047 --> 00:13:27,213
[bleep]!
424
00:13:27,215 --> 00:13:28,314
Oh, I should have told you,
425
00:13:28,316 --> 00:13:30,650
I have diabetic neuropathy in my feet.
426
00:13:30,652 --> 00:13:32,519
I can't feel a thing down there.
427
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:33,853
But if it makes you feel better,
428
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,156
the skin is bubbling
off of my feet too.
429
00:13:36,158 --> 00:13:37,690
It doesn't make me feel better, Bill!
430
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,626
[hip-hop music]
431
00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:47,910
Okay, next we are going to share PCOs,
432
00:13:47,912 --> 00:13:49,045
which stands for...
433
00:13:49,047 --> 00:13:52,048
all: Primary Choice Objectives.
434
00:13:52,050 --> 00:13:55,084
Give yourselves a massive
[bleep] round of applause.
435
00:13:55,086 --> 00:13:56,552
- Yeah!
- Whoo!
436
00:13:56,554 --> 00:13:57,553
- Yeah!
- Yes.
437
00:13:57,555 --> 00:13:59,288
- Yeah!
- Yes!
438
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:00,456
Yeah.
439
00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:01,457
Hey, whoa! Thank you.
440
00:14:01,459 --> 00:14:02,525
You're applauding me.
441
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:04,560
That is... that is sweet of you.
442
00:14:04,562 --> 00:14:06,863
I know I was only gone for
a short period of time,
443
00:14:06,865 --> 00:14:07,964
and I didn't hurt myself,
444
00:14:07,966 --> 00:14:10,266
so I'm ready for The Clarity.
445
00:14:10,268 --> 00:14:12,635
We'll get to that
Clarity a little later.
446
00:14:12,637 --> 00:14:14,070
I'd love to get to it now.
That'd be awesome.
447
00:14:14,072 --> 00:14:16,439
- Clarify me. Clarity it.
- Yeah, not-not just yet.
448
00:14:16,441 --> 00:14:19,141
But right now, we're gonna share.
449
00:14:19,143 --> 00:14:20,309
Who wants to roar?
450
00:14:20,311 --> 00:14:22,211
Alice, I know you want
to stand up and roar.
451
00:14:22,213 --> 00:14:23,813
- I will.
- I want to roar.
452
00:14:23,815 --> 00:14:25,147
Come on.
453
00:14:25,149 --> 00:14:28,217
I choose to shut the
office down permanently.
454
00:14:28,219 --> 00:14:30,086
Yeah, shut it down! Let's go to DQ.
455
00:14:30,088 --> 00:14:31,921
Hot eats, cool treats. Come on!
456
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:34,290
Yeah, you guys, Bianca was right.
457
00:14:34,292 --> 00:14:35,391
Think about it.
458
00:14:35,393 --> 00:14:37,927
I mean, we have been
stuck here for years.
459
00:14:37,929 --> 00:14:39,629
Isn't it time for us to move on?
460
00:14:39,631 --> 00:14:41,931
Yeah. And then we go to Dairy Queen.
461
00:14:41,933 --> 00:14:44,066
[exhales deeply]
462
00:14:44,068 --> 00:14:48,971
Shut it down.
463
00:14:48,973 --> 00:14:51,440
Shut it down.
464
00:14:51,442 --> 00:14:52,508
We started that.
465
00:14:52,510 --> 00:14:54,443
All: Shut it down!
466
00:14:54,445 --> 00:14:56,445
Shut it down!
467
00:14:56,447 --> 00:14:58,414
- Yeah!
- all: Shut it down!
468
00:14:58,416 --> 00:15:00,483
- Whoo!
- all: Shut it down!
469
00:15:00,485 --> 00:15:02,084
- Shh! Shh!
- Quiet.
470
00:15:02,086 --> 00:15:04,587
Shut your goshdarn mouths, please.
471
00:15:04,589 --> 00:15:05,588
Okay, so you guys, what,
472
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:08,090
are just fine with being unemployed?
473
00:15:08,092 --> 00:15:10,092
Oh. No, no. You know what it is?
474
00:15:10,094 --> 00:15:11,827
They are fine...
475
00:15:11,829 --> 00:15:14,630
with being the authors
of their own lives,
476
00:15:14,632 --> 00:15:16,832
for choosing to follow their dreams.
477
00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:19,335
I should be the CEO of a
Lady Foot Locker by now.
478
00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:20,536
Mm. That's foolish.
479
00:15:20,538 --> 00:15:22,104
And I'm gonna tell my
stepsister I love her
480
00:15:22,106 --> 00:15:24,440
and that she shouldn't marry Calista!
481
00:15:24,442 --> 00:15:26,542
- There you are.
- Time-out!
482
00:15:26,544 --> 00:15:27,743
Do I need to remind you guys
483
00:15:27,745 --> 00:15:30,313
that this is TelAmeriCorp
Rancho Cucamonga,
484
00:15:30,315 --> 00:15:33,215
where all dreams go to die?
485
00:15:33,217 --> 00:15:36,218
Yeah, you buttheads are delusional.
486
00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:38,821
- We're human pieces of crap here.
- Yeah.
487
00:15:38,823 --> 00:15:40,489
Oh, and we are also guilty, okay?
488
00:15:40,491 --> 00:15:42,058
Oh, yeah.
489
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:44,126
You're looking at two big old
bozos over here, all right?
490
00:15:44,128 --> 00:15:45,528
- The turd brothers.
- Hello.
491
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:47,897
Just pinched right
into the bowl of TAC.
492
00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:49,465
Look at us. We're pushing 30.
493
00:15:49,467 --> 00:15:51,634
We don't have anything to our names.
494
00:15:51,636 --> 00:15:53,636
- Nope.
- I've got this tie
495
00:15:53,638 --> 00:15:55,771
that somebody tied for me
about seven years ago.
496
00:15:56,908 --> 00:15:58,007
I think maybe we got to roll it.
497
00:15:58,009 --> 00:15:59,408
Well, you don't believe us?
498
00:15:59,410 --> 00:16:00,876
Okay, you want to see it?
499
00:16:00,878 --> 00:16:02,478
You want to see video evidence?
500
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:03,679
You keep looking at us
like you want to see it.
501
00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:05,147
- Show it to 'em.
- Here we go.
502
00:16:05,149 --> 00:16:06,282
Enjoy.
503
00:16:06,284 --> 00:16:07,516
Help! I'm stuck.
504
00:16:07,518 --> 00:16:08,884
Adam's stuck in the vending machine.
505
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:10,319
Okay, I'm gonna go ahead
and reach up there
506
00:16:10,321 --> 00:16:12,355
and pull your hand out.
507
00:16:12,357 --> 00:16:13,489
Ah, crap.
508
00:16:13,491 --> 00:16:16,258
Now Blake's stuck in
the vending machine.
509
00:16:16,260 --> 00:16:17,727
Stop. Here. Let me get you guys.
510
00:16:17,729 --> 00:16:18,828
Here, let me get...
511
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:19,795
- Ders.
- Let me get it.
512
00:16:19,797 --> 00:16:20,863
- Ah!
- Oh, that's...
513
00:16:20,865 --> 00:16:22,331
- Ah!
- How did... damn it!
514
00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,600
And now I'm stuck in
the vending machine.
515
00:16:24,602 --> 00:16:25,835
Oh, man, that was stupid.
516
00:16:25,837 --> 00:16:28,571
The point is, Alice, you can't quit.
517
00:16:28,573 --> 00:16:30,840
You can't shut this down,
because we're not all
518
00:16:30,842 --> 00:16:33,109
winners with untapped potential, okay?
519
00:16:33,111 --> 00:16:36,746
We're losers who are exactly
where we're supposed to be.
520
00:16:36,748 --> 00:16:38,547
Bottom of the [bleep] pile.
521
00:16:39,951 --> 00:16:41,751
Well, you know... [chuckles]
522
00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:43,119
They might have a point.
523
00:16:43,121 --> 00:16:44,920
I mean, I don't have
a lot of job skills.
524
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:46,555
- Zero.
- Smartest thing he's said.
525
00:16:46,557 --> 00:16:48,758
Show us more Whoopsies!
Who's the big winner?
526
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,060
Stop it!
527
00:16:51,062 --> 00:16:53,396
None of you are winning
528
00:16:53,398 --> 00:16:56,499
when you are celebrating humiliation!
529
00:16:56,501 --> 00:16:57,533
Yeah.
530
00:16:57,535 --> 00:16:58,968
Don't you see that?
531
00:16:58,970 --> 00:17:00,703
You're all better than that.
532
00:17:00,705 --> 00:17:04,040
I promise you, we're not, okay?
533
00:17:04,042 --> 00:17:05,408
Just look around the room.
534
00:17:05,410 --> 00:17:09,211
Would you hire one person from
this room to work for you?
535
00:17:09,213 --> 00:17:11,981
Well, I would absolutely hire
one person from this room.
536
00:17:11,983 --> 00:17:13,783
Is it me? It's me, isn't it?
537
00:17:13,785 --> 00:17:15,851
I'm gonna be your co-motivator.
I'm gonna get The Clarity.
538
00:17:17,422 --> 00:17:19,088
I choose Alice.
539
00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:21,390
- What?
- You would hire Alice over me?
540
00:17:21,392 --> 00:17:22,358
This is bull[bleep].
541
00:17:25,129 --> 00:17:27,496
You... you... you would really hire me?
542
00:17:27,498 --> 00:17:29,065
- Absolutely.
- Wow!
543
00:17:29,067 --> 00:17:30,766
I thought there was
something special about you
544
00:17:30,768 --> 00:17:32,968
the moment that I came
leaping through that door.
545
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:34,770
- Oh, my God.
- So what do you say?
546
00:17:34,772 --> 00:17:36,305
- Oh, my God.
- You want to come work for me?
547
00:17:36,307 --> 00:17:38,207
I would be honored to work for you.
548
00:17:38,209 --> 00:17:39,442
Yes, you would.
549
00:17:39,444 --> 00:17:41,444
Let's go to your office
and work out the details.
550
00:17:41,446 --> 00:17:43,446
- Oh, my God! Really?
- Yes, absolutely.
551
00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:46,582
It's right this way. Oh, my God!
552
00:17:46,584 --> 00:17:47,850
Oh, my God! She's just-
553
00:17:47,852 --> 00:17:49,285
Okay, great. Wow.
554
00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:51,620
So we're all gonna lose our jobs?
555
00:17:51,622 --> 00:17:53,322
Adam, say something that motivates us.
556
00:17:53,324 --> 00:17:55,157
I'm done motivating, okay, Bill?
557
00:17:55,159 --> 00:17:57,793
I couldn't even read her book.
558
00:17:57,795 --> 00:18:00,930
Wouldn't. I wouldn't even...
559
00:18:00,932 --> 00:18:02,498
I can read.
560
00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,334
Thank you for seeing
something special in me.
561
00:18:05,336 --> 00:18:06,635
To be perfectly honest,
562
00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:09,171
I don't really see it
in myself all the time,
563
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:11,941
but you saw it, and you're a genius,
564
00:18:11,943 --> 00:18:13,375
so it must be real.
565
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:15,144
- You know what I see in you?
- What?
566
00:18:15,146 --> 00:18:17,346
You're good at sales,
and I'm a saleswoman.
567
00:18:17,348 --> 00:18:20,316
No, you are so much
more than a saleswoman.
568
00:18:20,318 --> 00:18:23,352
You... you see into people's souls.
569
00:18:23,354 --> 00:18:24,553
Yeah.
570
00:18:24,555 --> 00:18:26,789
You think that because
I made you think that.
571
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:29,425
All that profanity and the face holding
572
00:18:29,427 --> 00:18:32,027
and chanting, I mean, those
are just devices that I use
573
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:34,864
to manufacture emotion.
574
00:18:34,866 --> 00:18:36,532
No, but y-you said in your book
575
00:18:36,534 --> 00:18:40,336
that authenticity is the
main ingredient to dreams.
576
00:18:40,338 --> 00:18:42,938
I stole that from a
teenager's Instagram account.
577
00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:46,709
No, but what about being
the author of your life?
578
00:18:46,711 --> 00:18:48,911
Well, I'm the author of a book
579
00:18:48,913 --> 00:18:51,280
that's made me very
rich and very powerful.
580
00:18:51,282 --> 00:18:53,916
Oh! Okay, look.
581
00:18:53,918 --> 00:18:55,751
You can either come with
me and be my assistant
582
00:18:55,753 --> 00:18:57,853
and find out what winning is all about,
583
00:18:57,855 --> 00:18:59,655
or you could stay here at TAC
584
00:18:59,657 --> 00:19:02,224
and be the queen of the
Garbage Pail Kids.
585
00:19:02,226 --> 00:19:06,495
Wh-what about you with your dad
586
00:19:06,497 --> 00:19:08,697
and me with my mom?
587
00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,900
My dad is the nicest guy in the world.
588
00:19:10,902 --> 00:19:12,234
Doesn't even drink. [laughs]
589
00:19:12,236 --> 00:19:15,538
I just told you what
you needed to hear.
590
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:16,805
Don't be a sucker.
591
00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:20,643
[yells]
592
00:19:24,549 --> 00:19:25,548
Whoopsie.
593
00:19:25,550 --> 00:19:27,583
[hip-hop music]
594
00:19:27,585 --> 00:19:28,651
Boys are fresh
595
00:19:33,278 --> 00:19:36,179
And now, the final
award of the evening,
596
00:19:36,181 --> 00:19:38,248
the one we've all been
waiting weeks for,
597
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:40,383
Whoopsie of the Year.
598
00:19:40,385 --> 00:19:42,018
[applause] Whoo!
599
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:44,354
Yeah!
600
00:19:44,356 --> 00:19:45,855
[clears throat]
601
00:19:45,857 --> 00:19:48,024
And the nominees are:
602
00:19:48,026 --> 00:19:50,694
Waymond for "Thumbsucker."
603
00:19:50,696 --> 00:19:54,197
Davis Neeves, "Diarrhea Period Pants."
604
00:19:54,199 --> 00:19:57,200
Gary Ghostman, "Lipstick Envelope."
605
00:19:57,202 --> 00:20:00,070
And she's already taken home
a few Whoopsies tonight.
606
00:20:00,072 --> 00:20:01,504
Ladies and gentlemen, the big boss,
607
00:20:01,506 --> 00:20:04,107
Alice Murphy, for "Bye Bye Birdie."
608
00:20:04,109 --> 00:20:06,543
Whoo!
609
00:20:06,545 --> 00:20:08,945
[inhales deeply]
610
00:20:08,947 --> 00:20:11,114
And your winner is...
611
00:20:11,116 --> 00:20:12,949
[drumroll]
612
00:20:12,951 --> 00:20:13,917
Envelope's kind of hard to open.
613
00:20:13,919 --> 00:20:15,251
[laughter]
614
00:20:15,253 --> 00:20:16,619
There it is. There it goes.
615
00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:18,922
[clears throat]
616
00:20:18,924 --> 00:20:21,157
The love of my life, Alice Murphy,
617
00:20:21,159 --> 00:20:22,492
for "Bye Bye Birdie."
618
00:20:22,494 --> 00:20:24,494
Yeah! I knew it!
619
00:20:24,496 --> 00:20:25,595
Suck it!
620
00:20:25,597 --> 00:20:27,230
What now, Ghostman?
621
00:20:27,232 --> 00:20:28,364
What now?
622
00:20:28,366 --> 00:20:30,266
You looked like a total
idiot up there, Alice.
623
00:20:30,268 --> 00:20:31,568
Congratulations.
624
00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:33,403
Let's go ahead and watch
her clip one more time.
625
00:20:33,405 --> 00:20:34,571
No. No!
626
00:20:34,573 --> 00:20:36,272
You get your hands off
me, mother[bleep]!
627
00:20:36,274 --> 00:20:37,941
Oh, yeah, you like that? [bleep] you.
628
00:20:37,943 --> 00:20:39,175
[spits] Come on.
629
00:20:39,177 --> 00:20:41,144
What's your badge number, bitch?
630
00:20:41,146 --> 00:20:43,379
I'm gonna take you down! [bleep] you!
631
00:20:43,381 --> 00:20:46,750
I gonna sue your asses to
kingdom come, mother[bleep]!
632
00:20:46,752 --> 00:20:48,918
No! [bleep] you!
633
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:50,053
[slurring] All right, everybody,
634
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:52,388
I just want to thank and
dedicate this award
635
00:20:52,390 --> 00:20:54,790
to the one person who made
this all possible for me.
636
00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:57,709
Don't you dare play me off!
637
00:20:59,740 --> 00:21:03,607
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